Ours | Chapter 13

Colson x Presley (Original Female Character)

Synopsis: Presley and Colson fell in love accidentally, but they were meant to be. Now that all the obstacles have been removed, they're moving in together in LA. Now, they have all the time in the world for Colson to teach Presley all of the things he knows. This fic is the sequel to Mine, which can be found in my masterlist!

Warnings/Content: shit's about to get real so PLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS!!! Almost suicide attempt, panic attacks, suicidal ideation/discussion, Big Fucking Sad (I'm serious y'all, it's sad as fuck), swearing, mentions of guns and pills, hospital trip

PLEASE take care of yourself and skip this if you think it's going to be triggering. Without giving too much away, there are pretty graphic descriptions of thoughts leading up to an almost suicide attempt. I promise if you skip this chapter it won't mess up the plot too much for you. I love y'all.

Colson

Presley isn’t answering me.

I’ve called about a thousand times and sent twice as many texts. Nothing. Her phone is on do not disturb. I get that she needs space, but the state of my mental health is scary right now and I’m not thinking perfectly logically. In the forefront of my mind is a voice telling me that she’s done with me, that this is just too much to handle and that she’s going to leave. That she’s already left.

As it nears the evening and she still hasn’t reached out, my panic reaches new heights. I call her once more, praying that she’ll answer, but it goes straight to voicemail. I try to control my shaky breathing as I prepare to leave a message. I haven’t left any voicemails but maybe if she hears my voice, she’ll realize how sorry I am.

“Pres,” I say, and instantly, my throat is thick with emotion as more tears spill from my eyes. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight and I had no right to talk to you that way. Please come home, baby. Please. I need you.” I pause for a second, then hang up just in time for a sob to rip itself from my chest. I let the phone clatter onto the island as I drop my head into my hands. 

I pick up the phone and call Ashleigh. It rings several times, then goes to voicemail. Slim, too. When it happens with Rook, a cold fear causes sweat to prickle on my skin. They’re all ignoring me. I’ve fucked up too badly this time. I jump to my feet and pace. My hands are damp with sweat and shaking like crazy. My breath is shallow and my stomach is in knots. 

“Fuck,” I whimper, tearing my hands through my hair. What am I going to do? Everyone thinks I’m an abuser. Everyone I love is going to turn on me. I’m going to lose Presley, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The abuse allegations are going to ruin my career.

What do I have left?

Absolutely fucking nothing.

I’ve struggled with my mental health for…pretty much my entire life. I can remember feeling overwhelmingly sad, even as a young kid, even before my mom left and my dad went off the deep end. It got worse when my mom left, of course. My abandonment issues started there, at the ripe age of nine. And then my dad completely changed. The abuse started and the loving father I knew was just…gone. 

I have great friends. I have an insanely perfect wife. My mom is back in my life. But do they want to be in my life? Do they want to be friends or family with someone whose mental state is so precarious? A tortured artist with mood swings and allegations up to his fucking eyeballs. If I were no longer in their lives…would they care? And if they did care, wouldn’t they be able to get over it?

Would it really matter if I was gone? 

I own guns. Several. A shotgun just because I thought it was cool, a couple of handguns. They’re all locked in a safe and haven’t been removed for years now other than to be cleaned. My hands twitch at my sides. Then, I shake my head. Presley would be the one to find me, and even if she’s done with me, I can’t do that to her.

But what if I take some pills and just…fall asleep? Never wake up? That won’t leave a mess. 

What if I send a text to someone else so they find me first? I can leave the door unlocked and they’ll find me. Presley won’t have to. 

Suddenly, I’m numb. The tears dry up and my hands stop trembling, and a wave of calm washes over me. I always knew I’d die young, I just didn’t know when. Everything is screaming at me that it’s now. This is when I leave. 

I grab a fifth of Jack Daniels from the fridge, then go to our medicine cabinet and gather what I need. But then, a sound makes me freeze. A knock on the door. I blink and try to focus, wondering if it’s all in my head. But then another knock sounds. I swallow hard and put my supplies back. I wipe sweaty hands on my legs and then wipe my face. I know I look like hell, and I have no idea who’s at the door. Hell, it could be cops coming to arrest me for domestic abuse charges. Longingly, I look at the cabinet, but another knock shakes me out of it and I hurry to the door.

I look through the peephole and my heart jumps into my throat when I see that it’s Cash. It may not be Presley, but it is her twin, and it is the person whose house she slept at last night. I open the door quickly and Cash immediately analyzes me. We don’t even say anything to each other as he studies me. “Hey,” he says quietly, eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re…not okay, are you?”

It’s less of a question and more of a statement. Still, I hang my head and then shake it, throat tightening once again with the threat of tears. Cash sighs and steps into the house, shutting the door behind him. He kicks off his shoes and steps forward, and then he’s hugging me. 

Cash and I are close. He’s my brother in law, and despite what happened in the past, I’m happy to give him the title of my brother. But we’re not hug-while-we’re-crying-and-falling-apart close. Still, I sink into the embrace. A deluge of tears flows onto my cheeks and all of a sudden, I’m not just crying, I’m having a full-blown panic attack.

I can vaguely hear Cash saying my name but my ears are ringing too loud for me to be sure. My whole body has gone numb and tingly; I can’t feel any of my limbs which only makes me panic more. My knees give out and I fall to the floor, but Cash stays wrapped around me. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but they’re words of comfort. I’ve never lost it quite this badly in front of someone before, and I find myself glad that it isn’t Presley, or even Slim or Ash. Cash has known me the least amount of time and for some reason, it’s easier to break down in front of him.

“...Colson. Colson!” I’m so stunned by the fact that he’s calling me Colson and not Kells that I snap out of my attack, just a little. The ringing in my ears intensifies and then eases up, which makes me feel like I can breathe again. Slowly, the numbness fades but the tingles stay, and all of a sudden, I’m shaking like a leaf. But at least I’m breathing again and I can focus on Cash.

“Deep breaths, brother. C’mon,” he soothes, and I understand why he and Presley are so close. He’s great at this whole comfort thing. I do as I'm told, even though my breaths are shaky and ragged at first. But Cash continues to sit with me, his arms wrapped around me, my body leaning on his, and we breathe together. 

I have no idea how long we’re sitting on the floor before Cash takes a final deep breath and lets out a little chuckle. “Jesus. You scared me for a second,” he mutters, and the calmness in his voice makes me realize how trivial this all feels. Megan told a straight up lie. I didn’t even do anything wrong. The only thing I did wrong was to take it out on Presley. And all because she left I was going to, what, kill myself? Jesus Christ. 

When I realize that I would’ve gone through with that stupid decision if Cash hadn’t shown up, I start to tremble all over again. I let out a pathetic whimper. Even though it would’ve been self-inflicted, the near-death experience brings a rush of adrenaline into my body. But Cash brings me back with his soothing but firm voice.

“Hey,” he says. “What is going on? You need to talk to me, Kells.”

“I-I w-w-was g-going to–” My voice is trembling too hard for me to make out the words. Cash shushes me and rocks me a little, and the gesture is surprisingly soothing. It takes me back to childhood or something. 

“Breathe,” he murmurs. “You were going to what?”

“K-kill myself,” I finally manage, my voice totally miserable. 

I feel Cash go tense but slowly, it eases, as if he’s purposefully making himself relax. “How?” he asks.

“Pills,” I sob. “Jack.”

“Did you take anything?” he asks, voice a little higher with panic, but I quickly shake my head.

“I had the fuckin’ bottles i-in hand,” I hiccup, “when you knocked on the door. Jesus Christ, Cash. If you hadn’t shown up…”

“God dammit, Colson,” Cash says thickly. “You’re my fucking brother. God dammit.” He squeezes me tighter and takes a steadying breath. “We need to go somewhere. We need to take you to the ER.”

“B-but I didn’t–”

“Only because I showed up,” Cash interrupts. “If I hadn’t shown up, you’d be…you’d be….” His voice tapers off and he shakes his head. “That’s too close for comfort, man. Please. Just…for me?”

It’s really the least I can do, knowing that Cash is the sole reason I’m alive. Besides, he’s right. That was way too close for comfort. I haven’t had suicidal thoughts like that in forever. It’s scary just how close I was to following through. Hesitantly, I nod, and the breath leaves Cash’s lungs in a relieved whoosh.

“Okay. Come on, brother,” he murmurs, pulling me up. “Let’s go.”

I hate the idea of being "famous." I hate when people use their fame to get special treatment. As much as I love the luxury of private jets and expensive restaurants and being able to travel anywhere in the world, I try my best not to take advantage of my name. 

But I’m not complaining about the privacy I receive at the emergency room.

We’re able to check in over the phone and wait in our car. I walk through a door in a secluded part of the hospital so no one sees me, aside from the staff. I’m whisked right into a room and treated immediately. It makes me sad knowing that there are other people waiting, but at the same time, I was at risk for dying tonight.

A woman in a white coat slips into my room and smiles warmly at me. “Mr. Baker?” she asks, and I nod. “I’m Dr. Schultz. Thank you for your patience.”

I barely had to wait. Still, I nod and smile politely.

Dr. Schultz studies me for a second. “Honey, I want you to know that you’re safe here,” she says. Her voice is warm and calm and instantly, I feel soothed. “We’re going to take care of you. Okay? I just need you to be honest with me.”

“Got it,” I croak. 

Dr. Schultz pats my hand and smiles softly. “Okay. Tell me what happened.”

From there, I walk Dr. Schultz through the bullshit that has been my life recently. She listens intently, never once rushing me through the evaluation. After I explain what happened, we go through my medical history, medications I’m on, whether or not I’m drinking and taking drugs, and what diagnoses I have. I’m exhausted by the time we’ve talked everything out.

Dr. Schultz closes her notebook and clicks her pen closed. “Colson, I would like you to stay overnight,” she says. “Since you and your partner are in an argument and you’re not sure if she’ll be home tonight, it would give me some peace of mind if you would stay here overnight. I know you’ve been having trouble sleeping and we can give you something that will help.”

I nod, feeling relieved that I don’t have to go home to an empty house. Even though I scared the shit out of myself and feel like I’ll never even come close to suicidal thoughts again, I agree with the doctor. Staying overnight would give me peace of mind, too.

I’m set up in a room shortly after, and I text Cash letting him know what’s going on. He assures me that he’ll be here in the morning to pick me up, and he asks if I need anything from home. I don’t want to burden him more, so I tell him I don’t need anything. Then, I silence my phone and set it aside. 

My sleeping medication is administered soon after I settle in. All I want is to talk to Presley, but she needs time, and that’s okay. For now, I just want to sleep, and thanks to the medication and the doctor, I do.

Taglist: @triplexdoublex@jaxbreaker@mgklove99xx@jinx-on-mars-19xx@iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker@anonymousme86@whiteleoqueen@feroniakutenpuu@hxllywoodwhxree

Killugon: Slow Burn

“A burn so slow you ain’t even getting a tan.” -dodici

1 series. 21 works.

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Closing the Space (Between Us) by Senket ( E | 144,974 | 49/49 )

It's been years, so many years since they separated ways at the World Tree. And no, Killua never stopped missing Gon, but that doesn't mean he ever got over the other things. The things that happened before he left. He can't make them unhappen. And neither can Gon. But maybe they can work through them. Eventually. Maybe they can build something better than before.

(Maybe Alluka and Nanika can help)

Series Part 1 of Closing Space

[Major Character Death]

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Wayward Souls by DriftingGlass ( T | 87,703 | 15/15 )

Gon Freecss has been ordered to transport a notorious and bloodthirsty criminal thousands of miles to the execution block in the kingdom's Imperial Capitol.

Enter Killua Zaoldyk, his prisoner and rather unwilling "travel-buddy."

Of course, Gon does not expect to be just as drawn to the dark warlock as the other is to him. Not all is what they seem; wires get crossed, stories are shared, and what they find in each other may shake the very worlds they come from, and the paths they have laid out for them.

Series Part 1 of The Courier and the Mage

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[Deleted Series] The Afterschool Library Chronicle by DriftingGlass ( T | 49,641 | 5 works )

A high school AU mostly focusing on Gon, Killua, and the angst, drama and coming-of-age struggles of their lives. It all starts with Killua tutoring Gon, and the rest is told here.

CURRENTLY PUBLISHED:

1. Pedagogy [ 2/2 chapters total ] 2. Beleaguerment [ 2/2 chapters total ] 3. Punctilious [ 3/3 chapters total ] 4. Espial [ 3/3 chapters total ] 5. Safeguard [ 3/3 chapters total ]

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

[Gabs: this has become a deleted work, however the author gave everyone a chance to download it prior to deletion. If you missed the message/deadline, you can reach out in my DMs.]

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Oh My God, They Were Roommates by korns ( T | 125,170 | 27/27 )

After a terrible first semester, Gon transfers to a university in San Francisco where he gets a stellar deal on a one-bedroom apartment.

At least, it was a stellar deal until he moves in and realizes that he inadvertently signed a lease with a complete stranger as a roommate. Not only that, but his accidental roommate is the single hottest guy in his major, Killua Zoldyck, and everyone and their mother is trying to get with him.

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Brohemian Rhapsody by korns ( T | 63,624 | 28/? )

When Alluka moves in with Miss Mito and her rag-tag family of three (four, if you count the neighbor kid Zushi), Killua gets ahold of Gon's number for emergency purposes. They end up talking far more frequently than expected.

A cute little slice-of-life summer suburbia texting fic feat. Delinquent Gon, Preppy Killua, and their ridiculous friends.

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Tease by geewillikers ( E | 132,115 | 22/22 )

No fucking way, Killua thought. There’s no way Gon is a porn star.

He clicked onto the account’s profile page. There, in perfect clarity, was a picture of Gon Freecss’ face.

- - -

Killua thought it was weird that his lecture hall buddy, Gon, “didn’t have social media”. He didn’t look into it—at least, not at first. But when the nude model in his figure drawing class turns out to be a porn star, Killua really didn’t expect her to be a dominatrix, much less one that collaborated with Gon Freecss.

Killua’s semester is about to get a whole lot more interesting.

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You’re Breaking My Guard by peachiinari ( M | 147,565 | 30/30 )

He misses it. Fighting.

Ballet took off the nervous edge from not being as active as he used to, but it didn’t quite replace the feeling or tension he felt during a good sparring. He misses the feeling of his heart at his throat, pounding, as he swings fist and foot, technique after technique, to knock his opponent out.

So he doesn’t protest when Bisky takes him to the industrial zone in YorkNew City, to some underground ring she supposedly sponsors. He watches as his world tilts on his axis, and he gets thrown into a world he didn’t know existed.

He watches as Gon Freecss comes stumbling into his life, and turns it completely upside with one swift punch to the gut.

((or: Killua does ballet but wishes for a little more in his life, and Gon participates in a fight club as the undefeated fighter. Their paths cross, and there grows a little something more.))

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

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one hundred by wartransmission ( T | 107,496 | 13/20 )

Everything is still the same but not, and Killua wonders how long this happiness will last. He can’t help it; it’s ingrained into him, this cautiousness that has saved his life countless times before.

Gon, on the other hand, is set on proving to him that this happiness can last. And if Gon was one thing, it was stubborn to the point of obstinacy.

Series Part 1 of one hundred

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The Fatal Rose by glittercracker ( M | 99,947 | 26/26 )

It's Killua Zoldyck's 18th birthday: the day he will take over from his father, the current Lord Zoldyck, to rule their family and their fiefdom. However, his brother, Illumi, a powerful magician, challenges him for his inheritance. When Killua refuses to give it up, Illumi curses him to live for hundreds of years with no human companionship, while dying slowly and painfully of a disfiguring disease. True love's kiss will break the curse, but Killua doesn't hold out much hope that anyone will even find him, let alone fall in love with him, before the disease consumes him.

Of course, he has yet to meet Gon Freecss.

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Graffiti by DecemberCamie ( T | 105,822 | 18/18 )

It’s been years since Killua managed to escape the clutches of his mafia family with Alluka, and since then he’s built up something close to a normal life for both of them. It hasn’t been easy, but they are alive and together, and Killua is grateful for that if nothing else.

But their peace is shattered the moment Gon Freecss crashes into their lives. Gon, a gang member who is as dangerous as he is charming; Gon, who has a single-minded determination to finish the mission he came into town for; Gon, who could unravel Killua and Alluka’s secrets as easily as he smiles—

Gon, who wants Killua for reasons beyond Killua’s understanding, but who might just end up destroying him anyway.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

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Bells and Whistles by TwilaStar ( T | 363,097 | 24/? )

The elite World Star Zoldyck family are alumni at Musica Academy, an exclusive private singing school for only the best of the best. The Zoldycks are highly praised for their superior music skills and technique, but their youngest son won’t sing. Sophomore year starts and a wildcard, Gon Freecs, is thrown into the mix. Killua tries to steer clear but it’s difficult when this guy is turning the whole school’s foundation on it’s head.

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Sip in the Dark by vitrifica ( T | 29,449 | 13/14 )

Six years after he left Gon at the World Tree, Killua has been gravitating towards the family business more than he'd like to admit. But that's all about to change on his next mission.

Or: The coffee shop AU Killua never asked for. With a side of murder.

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First Times by MurderBaby ( E | 60,002 | 11/11 )

Gon and Killua don't have a "first time." Instead, there are many, many firsts.

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See You Upside Down by Twelve (Dodici) ( T | 58,169 | 11/11 )

At the ripe old age of fifteen, Killua and his usual brand of existential crisis are still on a quest to figure out siblinghood, friendship and Gon Freecs.

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Freecs Adventure Travel Co. by sub_divided ( G | 7,920 | 2/2 )

It started with an email to Gon’s work inbox. Next to the others from young businessmen, old businessmen wanting to stay young, and couples on holiday, this one somehow stood out. It asked for Gon’s expertise in planning a trip for two people in their mid-teens, a girl and a guy whose relationship was described only as “not romantic”. In the "Experience with extreme physical activities?” field, the girl’s level was listed as "Beginner, but willing to try anything :)" while the guy’s said, simply, "Don't worry about it."

Gon grinned - that probably meant the guy was an expert but too modest to say so. That, or he was trying to accommodate his traveling buddy. Gon scrolled down to the bottom of the email and paused, staring, for a long moment.

* * *

Three years after Gon, Killua and Alluka parted ways at the World Tree, Gon is running an adventure travel company, planning elaborate custom trips for his mostly bored and wealthy clientele who want to experience something dangerous (but not too dangerous). One day, he receives an email in his work inbox that's slightly different from all the others...

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I Want Something (Just Like This) by cheritsundere ( T | 35,823 | 4/4 )

"Look, Brother! They have a new action figure of you-R FAVORITE HUNTER," Alluka said, correcting her word choice when she remembered that they were out in public.

He looked into the store shop window. Situated among some of the most popular hunters was a tiny version of himself, striking a dynamic pose - his jacket flowing dramatically and little blue sparks decorating the base. It wasn't bad. Definitely an improvement over his 1st merch.

He heard a gasp to his left. "SilverShock is your favorite too?!"

With a quick turn, Killua was met with the biggest brown eyes he thought could exist and a smile even bigger. The kid couldn't be much older than him yet he had a feeling that Mr. Sunshine probably acted closer to a Kindergartner. He took a few steps closer to his sister to put some distance between them before answering. "He's more my sis's fave than mine, but yeah I think he's cool," Killua answered, internally patting himself on the back for his modesty. He was probably the best newcomer in the country if his stats were anything to go by, but still...

Mr. Sunshine was a fan of his?

(A Superhero AU where Gon and Killua work together often but don't know the other's secret identity.)

Series Part 3 of Say You’ll See Me Again

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An Adventure’s Tale by Usermore ( T | 9,063 | 4/? )

Gon’s life had been close to ordinary, but that had all changed on one regular sunny day, when he received a letter from his distant father, Ging Freecs.

Along the way, Gon meets Killua, the prince of Kukuroo Mountain, with the longing for adventure and purpose; a man with the dream to be a doctor and help people, Leorio, and a sorcerer with a dark past named Kurapika.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

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Seeking Petrichor by avtorSola ( E | 28,869 | 8/? )

AU. Gon Freecs is a young blacksmith from Whaleisle Town, a peaceful town in the far southern country of Saherta. But for years, his dream has been to leave and search for his Druid father, the enigmatic and absent Ging Freecs who abandoned him just after his birth. And then he finds an injured stranger collapsed in the mountains outside his valley, and his life takes an unexpected turn.

Killua Zoldyck isn't just any stranger - he's the deposed heir of Padokea, the northern, warlike nation that borders the Black Mountains and the Wastes inhabited only by Trolls, Imps, and the mysterious Necromancer. And he's in trouble. Not only was he overthrown by his eldest brother, but he carries a powerful magical artifact stolen from the Necromancer himself, and the Necromancer is hunting him.

But Killua knows Ging, so Gon knows that the exiled heir to the throne of the Zoldyck assassin-kings is his best chance - his only chance - at finding his father.

And so the journey begins.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death]

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[Abandoned] A Myriad of Color by benitato ( E | 34,808 | 11/17 )

Everything is monochromatic in Gon’s world until he meets Killua, who doesn’t seem to realize how starved he is of a life with color. This only makes Gon more determined to show him how much there is to see besides gray— if only Killua would stop refusing to touch him.

Killua doesn’t mind a world of shadows; it’s terribly convenient. He’s not about to let one happy-go-lucky heathen of a soulmate change that, fate be damned. And no, he doesn’t particularly care that said soulmate is a bit on the attractive side, or that he keeps nudging closer and offers Killua chocolate.

Nope. Not at all.

(”AU where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate.”)

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[Abandoned] Hooked on you by khohnsu ( E | 50,309 | 15/? )

Killua’s job at the club wasn’t always easy.

Especially not when people are constantly hitting on him, their bouncer tends to beat up their customers, and a certain handsome stranger keeps visiting him.

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[Abandoned] Crossfire by Arivael ( M | 43,689 | 11/18 )

When Gon and Killua had first taken the job, it had seemed simple enough: sneak, steal, deliver—easy. They hadn’t expected for things to escalate so quickly, much less for them to get personal in the most painful way possible.

After all, they were criminals. They weren’t fit for playing ‘heroes'—it just wasn’t their thing. And falling in love? That had never been a part of the equation.

Love was a dangerous thing to be in when people wanted nothing more than to make you suffer.

—

Also known as: The Pining!Killugon Thief AU that nobody asked for.

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[Abandoned] In Light of Things We Cannot See by teasdays ( T | 27,488 | 3/? )

Killua’s shoulder prickles as the presence there seems to shift. He breathes out.

“Gon is exactly who I think he is. And he’s disappeared at the same time as-” Killua’s eyes dart from Illumi to the window, and he nearly glances to his desk, where the gold box rests. “At the same time as I released a jinni. I think you’re drawing the wrong conclusions.”

“Never trust the occult,” Illumi tells him. Killua knows he's right; his sister’s headstone is reminder enough.

But Killua has grown up with a sixth sense – the unusual ability to feel magic around him, traces of it on magic users, or the concentrated crackle of spirits made up of magic itself. And so Killua knows that the boy he met at boarding school is a far cry from the jinni that wears Gon’s face. But Gon is missing, and it’s Killua’s fault – he’s the one, after all, who released the jinni in the first place.

just an original story snippet because that anon i got yesterday flattered me (and because i love my girls and my idea)

  “The moon will fall February 17th, 4350--”

  “Oh dear. THAT’S an embarrassing situation to be in. Better take the long way to class to avoid that--”

  “The sun will explode way before then, but I can’t see when it’s too blurry too blurry can’t see further--”

  “MY PARENTS ARE GETTING ME A PUPPY?! Oh shoot. I just ruined the surprise--”

  “A plague will come. A plague will come. A plague will come--”

  “I know the answers to the exam and my peers don’t, hehe--”

  “I know when my mother will die, but I don’t know how to save her. I can’t save her. When I try to save her, she dies--”

There are hundreds of voices in this room. Hundreds of people talking over each other, rambling silly teenage thoughts and dark prophets of the future, babbling and gibbering and chattering like noisy jungle birds. Listen to what I have to say, they whisper. Listen to what I Saw. But they aren’t listened to, no one listens, so they keep shouting over each other until it’s a din of conflicting comments and arguments.

The weird thing is, though...the voices didn’t come from any person. The only people in the room were Lee and Keaton, behind one of the doors, and Michael, wearing an old, ripped trench coat and pacing between two tables covered in wicked-looking knives, scissors in various sizes of huge, and wrinkled papers filled to the brim with information. None of them were speaking.

  “I should warn Olivia to not try out for the school musical, she’s just going to embarrass herself--”

Keaton began to tremble against Lee’s side. Her eyes are wide and glazed with terror. Lee followed her gaze, tilting ever so slightly around the door so she could see more inside, and froze.

Nearly-depleted bulbs cast dim, horror movie-like lighting across polished wooden shelves and carved out cubbyholes, and the jars full of disembodied tongues that hold them. The muscular remains of finished lives howl and thrash, repeating themselves ad infinitum, slapping the glass walls of their confines until they clank and jiggle. The stench of it is thick and ripe. A choir of dead voices vying for attention.

Lee nearly vomited. Keaton trembled harder, and she can see tears glinting in her multicolored eyes. How many times has she seen this scene in her visions? Could she still hear their thoughts without a brain to read from?

  “Oh, that’s it!!!” Michael suddenly roared. Lee flinched, but tightened her muscles to keep from hitting anything in her surprise. “Shut it!!”

He reared around to glower at a particularly rowdy group of tongues that were writhing so violently that their jars were about to topple right over. They don’t obey his command, they can’t, and continue to speak: “I make the team in soccer?! Oh my god--” “Mom and dad are getting a divorce--” “The fire alarm on Thursday won’t be a drill--” “John F. Kennedy will be shot on November 22, 1963--”

That last comment from a spongy, paler tongue on the top row of jars. It does damage to itself as it threw itself against aged glass.

  “Just take a breath, Michael,” Michael began to mutter to himself. He rubbed his temples with his middle and index finger. “It’ll all be worth it. This will all pay off soon. Just focus.”

  “DAVID IS CHEATING ON JESSIE?! OH THAT GODDAMN BITC--”

  “I can’t take this!!” Michael stormed out the door, his long trench coat fluttering darkly behind him like the wings of a black moth. Lee and Keaton wait for a minute, with Keaton confirming that he wasn’t coming back by listening to his receding thoughts, and then crept out into the room.

The smell was so much worse inside, like a mix of fresh rot and week-old decay. There was a certain humidity in the room, too, most likely to preserve the tongues, and it made the odor that much worse. Lee tried to breathe through her mouth, but the air was so thick with stench that she could taste decomposition on her tongue. She careened sharply to the left and vomited into a small black trash can- the most normal thing in the entire place.

  “Well,” She breathed out shakily. “He’s probably going to notice this.” She set the trash can down tentatively and turned to Keaton with a wry smile. “Is there any way that you could rewind to before we enter and warn me to NOT breathe through my mouth?”

Keaton didn’t answer. 

She’s staring intently at the wall of jars. Her cropped, coppery hair has gone all tufty and frizzy, as though the relentless noise around her has made it stand on end. She kept clenching and unclenching her fists like she thought this just was a bad dream or vision she could claw herself out of. But it was very, very real. And the next ear-piercing prophecy proved that.

  “I’M ADOPTED?! AND MOM AND DAD ARE GOING TO TELL ME AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY?! ARE YOU SERIOUS--”

  “I didn’t know.” 

The whisper was mute beneath the din of cries. Lee moved closer to hear her young companion better, but didn’t ask her to repeat herself. Keaton looked up at her with terror in her eyes.

  “I didn’t know about this.” She said. “I didn’t see it.”

  “Ever?” Lee asked. “Not once?”

  “Not once,” Keaton confirmed. Her voice is painfully tight and she looked like she was about to spiral into a panic attack. “I didn’t know...”

She stepped forward slowly, cautiously, like she thought the tongues may suddenly grow bodies and attack her. She gently picked up a jar that held a soft pink tongue with a blue blemish over the bumpy expanse of taste buds, remnants of a blueberry slushy. It did wild flips in its confinements, fresh and sinewy as eels, squawking out things about boys her bad-at-love best friend was crushing on, but then went still when raised. It now sat silently at the bottom of the jar with its tip flicking patiently like the tail of a slithering snake.

  “I didn’t know her,” Keaton whispered. She really is shaking- the jar is being rattled so badly that Lee was afraid that she might drop it or it may completely shatter. Her sun-moon eyes are hazy with tears on the reflection against the glass.

Lee crept closer and peered over her shoulder. The tongue flicked its tip again, like it was addressing that she was there, that it knew who she was and it could spit out prophecies about her at any moment. At the top of its jar winked a small gold plaque that read: Hayley Grace Ross | Age: 17 | Best known for: Visions of an alternate universe where time runs backwards | Death: January 13, 2019 |

  “I didn’t know any of them.” Keaton choked out. She’s crying, now. She gently cradled the jar close to her chest with a haunted expression and the tongue inside squirmed its way against the glass like it was returning the embrace in a strange, but sad postmortem, disembodied way.

Lee gave her a saddened expression. She’s gotten quite good at comforting Keaton, but she knew not to pry right now. Not when she was so obviously shaken by this.

She turned, wanting to give the girl some space, and saw a jar on one of the several tables. It’s decorated, unlike the others, swathed with sparkling threads of silver and gold around the lid and studded with small sun and moon pendants. She picked it up and read the plaque, which looked like it had been recently shined: Keaton Morgan Fox | Age: 15 | Best known for: Very specific and clear visions into the future, perfected mind reading, time loops | Death: N/A |

It was empty.

There was no death date.

  “Beware the one born of the sun and the moon,” Whispered a wrinkly old tongue with cracks over its surface. “Seething with darkness and sparkling with anger.”

  “Awakened from the blood of an unwanted womb,” Chimed in another tongue that was missing taste buds. 

  “And drenched in the carnage of the futures she hides.” Murmured a third.

  “Beware the one born of the sun and the moon,” Said all the tongues together. “With too many secrets and too many eyes.”

Lee shuddered and turned to Keaton, finally realizing why she was so distraught.

They were standing in a room full of the severed tongues of murdered Seers. 

She was surrounded by her own kind, dead and trapped forever.

Keeping Up w/ Kelly Jo:  The Bates Daughters

Part 2 of 3.  Will any of the Bates brood be able to ‘keep up’ with Kelly Jo’s very impressive fertility?  Let’s do the math. 

ICYMI—We talked about Kelly Jo in Part 1.  After doing the math, we have got a useful benchmark against which to compare the Bates Daughters.  Now, in Part 2, we’ll do just that, and figure out if any of the Kelly Jo’s girls have what it takes to ‘keep up’ with Mom.

TL;DR—

Erin will try to keep up, but probably fail.  She’ll still end up with at least a dozen though, barring any more catastrophic labors.

At this rate, Alyssa is likely—yes, likely—to end up with more than twenty children.  Unless she slows down, she will wipe the floor with Kelly Jo.

The Keilens can’t get to 19.  (I mean... They theoretically could... But it’s very unlikely.)  But, if they miraculously solve their fertility challenges, it’s not too late for them to add a dozen or so to their quiver.

Tori + Bobby just got married, so I honestly have no idea.  Her number of Fertile Days is really similar to Kelly Jo’s, so anything is possible, at least until we get some real data.

Thorough analysis after the jump...

Note—

As in “Keeping Up With Michelle,” I will assume that the Bates Daughters will be as fertile as Kelly—i.e., that they’ll be able to bear children up until Kelly’s age at Jeb’s birth (45.2676 Years).   

Now, let’s see how the married Bates Daughters compare, starting with...

Erin Elise (Bates) Paine

DOB   5–2–91   |   Married   11–2–13   |   Quiver So Far   3

Fertility—

Erin married Chad Paine, everyone’s favorite fundie man, on November 2, 2013, after a chaste, chaperoned courtship (and engagement).  Given her DOB of May 2, 1991 (Age Now: 26.93) Erin’s fertility will ‘run out’ (at Age 45.2676) on August 7, 2036.  Doing the math, Erin’s Total Marital Fertility (TMT) is 8,314 Days—or, 5.63% (496 Days) less than her mother, Kelly Jo.  Out of 8,314 Total Days, Erin’s Remaining Fertility is 6,697 Days, or ~81% of her TMT.

Necessary Pace—

With a TMT of 8,314, The Paine’s Initial Necessary Pace For 19—i.e., the birth rate that, on their wedding day, would result in a quiver of 19—was 1 Child Per 437 Days.  (Exactly the same as Kelly’s median!)  After 3 Children, and now with 6,697 Fertile Days left, the Paine’s Current Necessary Pace For 19 is just a tad higher, at 1 Child Every 418 Days.  Given Erin’s blood clotting condition, which caused the Paine to suffer multiple miscarries before Carson’s arrival, there’s no surprise that they fell slightly behind in the procreative race.

Pace So Far—

So far, the Paines have three children—Charles Stephen IV (“Carson”), Brooklyn Elise, and Everly Hope.  Until Carson’s birth, Erin miscarried repeatedly due to a then–undiagnosed blood clotting disorder.  After Erin’s diagnosis, Erin carried to 36ish Weeks, before delivering Carson on May 14, 2015—558 Days after Erin + Chad said “I do.”  (Note—Carson’s birth announcement in PEOPLE misstated his D.O.B. as May 15.)  Brooklyn arrived 450 Days later, on August 6, 2018, and Everly showed up 601 Days after that, on March 30, 2018.

Doing the math, the Paines median spacing is 558 Days, with adjusted median absolute deviation (MAD) of 61 Days.  Thus, it is probable that the Paines’ yet–unborn children will be spaced 497–619 Days apart.  Given Erin’s fertility, they’ll probably end up with 10.82–13.47 more, for a total of 13–17 Children.

Will She Keep Up?

Probably Not, but she might come close.  They might pull it off with twins, but I wouldn’t bet on it.  (Especially in light of Erin’s high–risk pregnancies.) 

Alyssa Joy (Bates) Webster

DOB   11–9–94   |   Married   5–24–14   |   Quiver So Far   3

(Note—Recently, I answered an Ask about Alyssa’s fertility.  For that Ask, I used average and SD but, for this post (and the rest of the “Keeping Up” posts), I will be using median and MAD.  As a result, I might reach slightly different results—do not be alarmed!)

Fertility—

Born November 9, 1994, Alyssa’s last chance to have a child—assuming she is as fertile as Kelly Jo—is February 15, 2040.  Alyssa + John married on May 24, 2014, so Alyssa’s Total Marital Fertility (TMT) is 9,398 Days.  If you’re thinking “that’s a lot,” you’re right!  It’s 6.67% or 588 Days (1.61 Years) more than Kelly, and 896 Days (2.45 Years) more than the next–most–fertile Bates (Tori).  Also, it beats out Joy–Anna Forsyth’s TMT by over 2 Years.  Serious... Scary stuff.

As for Alyssa’s Remaining Fertility, she’s got 7,984 Days left, as of today, April 7, 2018.  For the record, that’s more than Michaela or Whit had on Day 1.  (This is all caused by Alyssa’s decision to marry at the ripe old age of 19ish Years.)

Necessary Pace—

Given Alyssa’s long fertility, the Websters’ Initial Necessary Pace For 19 was 1 Child Every 494 Days (16 Months), which is downright leisurely for a Duggar or Bates.  Perhaps that’s why the Websters are actually ahead of schedule:  With 3 Children, and 7,984 Fertile Days still to go, John + Alyssa’s Current Necessary Pace for 19 is 1 Child Every 499 Days, slower than was initially required.

Pace So Far—

The Websters have three daughters—Allie Jane, Lexi Mae, and Zoey Joy.  Allie was born on April 11, 2015, 322 Days after her parents’ May 24, 2014 nuptials.  Lexi arrived 656 Days after Allie, on January 26, 2017.  Finally, little Zoey made her debut on March 28, 2018, 426 Days after Lexi.  That gives us a median of 426 Days, and a normalized MAD of 148 Days, indicating some inconsistency in spacing.

Doing the math, future Websters will probably arrive 278–574 Days apart.  (Note—278 Days is really quick, as the average pregnancy is 280 Days long.)  If that’s the case, Alyssa + John will probably have 13.91–28.72 more, for a total of 16–32ish Children.  Because of the high MAD, let’s also calculate their total quiver if they maintain their median pace:  It’s 18.74—or 7984 Fertility / 426 Spacing—more, for a total of 21–22 Children.  Wow.  

Will She Keep Up?

Definitely, assuming she keeps at it.  Personally, I think Alyssa + John are very, very, very fundie.  Yes, they wear pants, but I mean... See above.  They’re living every word of the QF teaching.  Marrying young, then building that quiver—and doing it quickly.  But who knows, maybe Alyssa will slow down.  I hope she will, for her sake, because if she doesn’t she will absolutely end up with twenty kids.

Michaela Christian (Bates) Keilen

DOB   1–23–90   |   Married   8–15–15   |   Quiver So Far   0

(Note—As with Alyssa, I’ve answered an Ask about Michaela’s fertility and used mean and SD in that Ask.  Here, I’ll be using median and MAD—so, don’t worry if I get different results!)

Fertility—

Michaela + Brandon are having trouble conceiving.  But, theoretically, Michaela should be fertile until May 1, 2035, assuming she takes after her mother.  Since she married on August 15, 2015, that gives Michaela a Total Marital Fertility of 7,199 Days, which is 1,611 Days (18.29%) less than Kelly.  (That’s a pretty huge handicap, right out of the gate.)  As of April 7, Michaela’s Remaining Fertility is 6,233 Days.

Necessary Pace—

From the start, 19 Children was a tall order for the Keilens.  Based on Michael’s TMT, their Initial Necessary Rate for 19 was 1 Child Every 378 Days, or 12.41 Months.  Due to their struggles to conceive, their Current Necessary Rate for 19 is much higher, at 1 Child Every 327 Days (10.76 Months).

  Will She Keep Up?

No.  The Keilens aren’t going to have 19 Children.  Not even Kelly reproduced at a rate like 1 Child Per 327 Days.  Her median spacing was 437.  So, yeah... There’s no way that they’ll get to nineteen.  It just won’t happen.  But that’s not to say they won’t end up with a healthy quiverfull:  If Michaela conceived today and had a child at the average Second–Gen Bates pace (1 Child Per 492 Days, SD 131 Days), the Keilens would probably end up with 10–17 Children—or 12, if they’re exactly average.

     Tori Layne (Bates) Smith

DOB   12–20–95   |   Married   12–16–17   |   Quiver So Far   0

Fertility—

If Tori takes after Kelly, she’ll be able to deliver a baby until March 27, 2041.  On December 16, 2017, she and Bobby Smith tied the knot, giving her 8,502 Days of Total Marital Fertility (TMT).  As such, Tori’s TMT is quite close to Kelly’s; it is only 308 Days (or 3.5%) less.  As of April 7, 2018, Tori’s Remaining Fertility is 8,390 Days, or 98.68% of her TMT.

  Necessary Pace—

With Tori’s TMT of 8,502 Days, the Smith’s Initial Necessary Pace For 19 was 1 Child Every 447 Days (14.70 Months).  Thus, the Smiths will be on–track for 19 if their first “blessing” arrives by March 8, 2019.  If Tori + Bobby procreate at the median Second–Gen Bates pace (1 Child Per 492 Days, SD 131 Days), they will end up with 13–24 Children, with the median being 17 Children.  

 Will She Keep Up?

Too Soon To Tell.  At the Second–Gen Bates average pace, Tori + Bobby would end up with 13–24 Children. But they’re still newly married—so honestly it’s too soon to predict anything.  

Next up, in Part 3, we’ll see how Whitney stacks up to the Bates Daughters and to Kelly.  (The Bates really need to get a few new daughters–in–law... Whitney is all alone right now!)

I was tagged by the lovely @lovemystarwars  (She’s great!) Rules: List twenty random facts about yourself and then tag ten people who you’d like to know better. Challenge accepted…

1. My name is Halle and I just turned the ripe age of eighteen but I feel like a fourteen year old socially, and a fifty year old mentally.

2. I absolutely love books. My favorite series include: Percy Jackson, The Lunar Chronicles, Harry Potter, and An Ember in the Ashes (Plus loads more)

3. I could binge watch movies and TV shows all day. (Shows include Lost, Star Wars the Clone Wars, Avatar, and just recently Young Justice thanks to @lovemystarwars)

4. My top five dream movies consist of: An Obi-Wan and Ahsoka adventure movie, Treasure Planet live action, Atlantis live action, Hawkeye movie, and a Lunar Chronicles movie. 5. This is my 3rd main Tumblr blog I’ve had. My first @safaira was way too cluttered, I posted random stuff, and I followed weird people and so I kept changing until this one stuck.

6. I graduated from my high school a year early because I hated high school and I had the grades to do it.

7. I LOVE ANIMALS ❤️ (Favorite is the African Wild Dog)

8. My personality type is INFJ (which means I’m a philosophical, introverted nerd basically.)

9. I’m a Hufflepuff

10. I love art. I wish I could draw better but I guess that’s why I’m taking art classes in college.

11. I’m the youngest of 4 daughters. No brothers.

12. I like video games. But not like, too much. I enjoy Skyrim, Destiny, Overwatch, and any Lego games honestly.

13. I love figuring things out. Like riddles or puzzles. I love challenging myself that way.

14. I have made so many OCs in my head that it’s hard for me to keep track of all of them. Again, wish I could draw.

15. I love space. I wish I had an astronomy tower in my house. That would be amazing.

16. I want to visit New Zealand so badly. Also Scotland and Germany. (Because those two are where my ancestors are from.)(and they’re just cool in general)

17. I want to visit Disneyland so I can go on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride again. Is it weird to say that it smells really cool? Idk.

18. I love my two dogs Casper and Luna. One is such an old man who acts like a cat and the other is a ball of heavenly sunshine I kid you not.

19. I’m such a nerd that I got all A’s from middle school until I graduated high school. (My only accomplishment in life so I don’t feel too bad tooting my own horn lol)

20. If I could meet three actors, I’d meet Tom Hiddleston, Ewan McGregor, and Jackie Chan.

And that’s me! Thank you so much for tagging me @lovemystarwars

So I guess I’ll tag some people now: @finish-the-clone-wars @evaceratops @punk–kenobi @ahsoka-snips-tano-lives @magicalsuggestion @diary-of-an-infj @akelia101 @arc-trooper

30 years ago, do not care about 29 things, a woman before the age of 30 do not care about 29 things

What should a woman care about? What should I not care about? Look at the 29 things the woman didn't care about before she was 30. You must have understood. In this life, you always have the things you care about most, and the things you don't want to care about. Of course, we should care about, we still want to care about, can not care about the best, do not impose on yourself. In this way, people can live happier and more relaxed in this life.

1, give up

The opposite is to give up; to choose an opportunity is to give up all the other possibilities. When new opportunities are ahead, dare to give up everything has been obtained, it is not the work not completed, give up halfway, this is to seek greater development space; or what not to do, just because of love, because young is the biggest opportunity. People are only thirty years old before the courage to have this qualification.

2, lovelorn

I don't care, I don't care. What is most afraid of losing before thirty is not what you already have, but what you dream about. If love is just a process, then this is the age should experience, if you want to bear the results, after thirty years old, may be more capable, more qualified. In fact, we have to do a lot of things before the age of thirty, transient, long has been indulging in a dry riverbed in love, and the life rhythm of this age is.

3, divorce

No, I don't care. Everything is still in time. A thirty-eight year old girlfriend and husband married fifteen years, the cold war thirteen years, and finally break up. "If she didn't want to divorce for the sake of the kids," he said, "he made his first divorce. I didn't agree. Now I want to. I really don't know why.". If I had broken up earlier, my life would have never been like this. Now that I have started all over again, I always feel it's too late.

4, wandering

Wandering is not a misfortune, but a qualification. While no family burden, while health, drifting when? Of course, the wandering is not necessarily the body, perhaps just fantasy and dreams. The fashion leader of the new century is the floating generation, eager to drift, the only thing that does not float is the heart.

5, unemployment

Thirty years old before the taste of unemployment, of course, is an unfortunate thing, but not necessarily a bad thing. Thirty years old before premature fixed in a career, this life may be the biggest misfortune. Unemployment may remind you of dreams that have been buried for a long time and may even awaken the potential that you never knew before. Maybe you didn't have a dream, and this time it forced you to dream.

6, fashion

Don't follow the fashion. Ordinarily, young people should be the most fashionable, but independent thinking and personal life is more important. In this material society, in fact, the pursuit of fashion has long been a pursuit of money. Today, fashion is synonymous with materialism and worldly desires.

7, style

This is petty bourgeois, the word "petty bourgeoisie" is popular two times today, and the pursuit of style is their patent. Petty bourgeoisie said, there are style to meet the four major elements: wisdom, accomplishment, self-confidence and money. Style is the idea of "noble" as a sense of dress, temperament, taste, and interior decoration. It is an only display style of "petty bourgeoisie" vulgar, has the ability to vulgarthey the mind. Not to non mainstream concepts of offbeat, offbeat ideas have become the mainstream of young people, today seem old-fashioned offbeat. The key is that today's society is an age of creative ideas, not a period of old ideas.

8, evaluation

The last thing we should do is change ourselves because of other people's opinions, because those who tell you what you are doing do not know what they are following. Never do things according to the rules. The rules are still being created. You should do everything on your own judgment, though it will be a little troublesome.

9, childish

Don't be afraid to say we are naive, this means you are young and energetic. "Mature" is a frightening word is a menace. Maturity and immaturity are the greatest, no, least responsible, useless generalizations of a person. The person said they would someone naive. Do not believe, one day you life pressure to be old apathetic when people will say you are ripe, you will know what is "mature".

10, do not adapt

In one rock, there's the phrase, "this city changed me. This city doesn't need me.". Don't blindly adapt to the environment in which you live, for it is likely that the environment has not adapted itself to the development of this society.

11, failure

My teacher once told me that a man should be lovelorn at least once, fail once in his career, and make a mistake in his choice to grow up. Don't say failure is the mother of success. As an old saying goes, failure comes as early as possible. If you are thirty years old, then you will fail again after forty years of age, and some things will probably be too late.

12, mistakes:

Every man has a record of making mistakes, but he does not encourage repeating the same mistakes. If you think there is anyone who has never made a mistake, then this is your mistake: everyone has the right to make mistakes, but do not advocate the same mistakes, if you think of someone who never make mistakes, that is your mistake.

By the age of 30 can make mistakes, as long as it is not a fatal mistake! Before the age of 30 is to avoid making mistakes again after 30 years of age, who were unable to avoid repeated mistakes, but as long as the lessons, there will always be changed once! Want to repeat the error does not occur after the age of 30!

13, shallow

Every time I watch "Titanic", I shed tears. Every time I watch "Westward Journey", I can't smile and laugh. In fact, that only shows that your nerves are still very sharp and respond quickly to even very weak stimuli; when you feel sluggish, people will say you are deep.

14 stars

No, I don't care. I don't care. Stars in the commodity society is a consumer goods, spent money, listen to the song, watched the film, the stars are better performance, but it is worth the money and yourself, it is not worth worship! Just like you pay fifty yuan for a skirt on the stall, others guess it's eight hundred yuan. Is it worth the money? You adore this dress?

15, the price

Not by any means, but by knowing that everything costs a price. It's no nonsense to people of our age. Otherwise, when you are thirty years old, you will realize how much you have paid for, but do not understand why you pay, but do not understand how much you have gained, and what to get.

16, loneliness

It's a price for freedom.

In fact, sometimes we think we are very lonely. We think we are lonely, that is, fashion is higher than the crowd. Freedom and loneliness are not contradictory unless you have depression.

In fact, no one likes to be alone, but there are always people who make loneliness for themselves

17, frustrated

Including emotional, career, perhaps only today for spending money on something to buy friends, can not but honour his word. Too much care about the feelings of disappointment, not to take advantage of the fate of playing tricks on themselves, that is, to take other people's mistakes to punish themselves.

18, defects

Maybe you're short, maybe you're not good-looking, maybe your voice like Tang Laoya, your advantage is that you are not your surface shallow bright delay, spend less time, less take some bend directly to find your inner strength, digging deep potential directly.

19, misunderstanding

If it is malicious, then interpretation is useless; if it is in good faith, there is no need for explanation. Specifically mentioned "misunderstandings" not because a person has been misunderstood before the age of thirty more, but when people of this age more.

20, rumors

This is an infectious disease. Silence is the best vaccine. Unless you can find the source of the infection, the explanation will become the ideal condition for the spread of the virus.

21, crazy

This is the best mental adjustment for young people. It shows that you are energetic and physically and mentally healthy. You say "Crazy" is the evaluation of some depressed, mentally and physically exhausted in the elderly malicious, they like a bad repair machine, the need to adjust, but only fine-tuning, an overhaul will make them.

22, stability

Thirty years before the care stable life, the only two possibilities, either in the lottery, or is prematurely senile.

23, pressure

How much stress a middle-aged man can bear is testing his toughness; how much stress a young man can bear and what his potential is.

24, go abroad

Maybe it's a chance, maybe a trap. Unless the university entrance exam from the moment you have to go abroad, this goal, attitude should be treated the same as love, striving for success, you.

25 salary

Just to work, the salary is higher, also higher than where. So before the age of thirty, opportunities are far more important than money. Business is far more important than money. It's far more important than money. For most people, the primary goal of doing business before the age of thirty is not to earn money, but to earn the future.

26, deposits

It's not necessarily because we have less money, young people now know that money is alive. There are so many opportunities, so good conditions, you can take money to mortgage, do today's things, spend tomorrow's money; you can also take money to invest, take money to "charge.". Money is only money in the course of its circulation, otherwise it is only a stack of the best quality waste paper in the world.

27 house

Unless you buy a house for appreciation, well, you're married. I have a classmate, home in the field, after graduation from the University, the unit has no dormitory, the house bought a house for him. He had a chance to work in Beijing, but he felt he had bought the house and left the city turn, give up. He works steadily now, but he has achieved nothing. The only achievement was getting married and having children, because he felt he should not let the house remain empty forever, so the house became a home. The house is an allegory of urban life, and this fable should not be associated with us too soon.

28, age

Girls start hiding their age after twenty-five, but in fact they don't need. Now that youth is delayed to forty-five, what is twenty-five?

29, care about

It is a state of mind that cannot be held up or set aside. The opposite of it is not to give up, but to be free and unrestrained, free, and always optimistic.

How to Grow Cucumbers in Your Garden or Container Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Cucumbers are one of my most highly recommended vegetables, and if you have a garden, you can easily grow them at home.1,2,3 Aside from being able to control pesticide and fertilizer use, you’ll also avoid the wax applied to many commercially sold cucumbers. There are dozens of varieties that thrive in both cool and warm climates, although they can be a challenge to grow if temperatures are consistently in the mid-90s. While made up of 90 to 95 percent water, cucumbers still manage to provide a host of valuable nutrients, including vitamins A, B5, C and K, along with manganese, potassium, magnesium, molybdenum, copper, silica and fiber. Cucumbers also contain lignans that bind with estrogen-related bacteria in the digestive tract, contributing to a reduced risk of several cancers, including breast, uterus, ovarian and prostate cancer.4 Other phytonutrients called cucurbitacins — part of a larger group known as triterpenes, and the part of the cucumber that gives it a bitter taste — also inhibit cancer cell development. Preliminary findings also suggest cucumbers have antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties.5 In traditional medicine, cucumbers are used to treat headaches. The seeds are diuretic, and the juice — thanks to caffeic acid and vitamin C — can be used as an acne treatment and a soothing remedy for tired, puffy eyes. Cucumber Varieties Technically, cucumbers are a fruit, related to both the melon and squash families. The three main categories of cucumbers you can choose from are: Slicing cucumbers: thick-skinned and generally larger, growing to be 6 to 8 inches long Pickling cucumbers: thin-skinned and smaller, reaching 3 to 4 inches in length English or gourmet cucumber, also known as "burpless:" a longer, thinner version with very small seeds Some varieties of cucumbers will be more bitter than others. Beit Alpha, Lemon Cuke, Tendergreen burpless and White Wonder are among the sweetest. You can find a listing of other popular varieties on Rodale Organic Life’s website.6 As a general rule, cucumbers need quite a bit of garden space, as they grow on trailing vines. However, there are also bushy varieties that only need minor staking, making them suitable for container gardens. Popular bush varieties include Hybrid, Salad, Picklebush and Arkansas Little Leaf, the latter of which will produce fruit without pollination, making it an ideal choice for apartment dwellers and small container gardens. To optimize your container-grown cucumber, plant it in equal parts of potting soil, compost, perlite and peat moss, and use a container that is at least 12 inches in diameter and 8 inches deep. The plants also need five to nine hours of full sun. The greater the sun exposure, the more productive the plant will be. An east-west directed trellis will optimize light exposure. That said, if temperatures are consistently in the mid-90s, provide the plants with filtered afternoon shade to avoid overheating. Planting and Growing Guidelines Depending on the variety, your cucumbers will be ready for harvest in 50 to 105 days. For earlier harvest, start the plants indoors, using a grow light, approximately four weeks before your last spring frost date. They’re fast growers, though, so most gardeners will simply plant from seed directly in the garden. For a late summer/early fall harvest, sow a second batch four to five weeks after the first. Cucumber plants are highly vulnerable to frost, so avoid planting seeds or seedlings in your garden until all danger of frost have passed, and the average soil temperature is at least 50 degrees F. 1. Plant seeds7 in rows, about 1/2 inch to 1 inch deep, anywhere from 1 to 6 inches apart. The plant will grow best in loose, well-draining soil. Mix in ample amounts of compost to encourage growth. Ideal pH is between 6 and 7. 2. Ideally, water heavily in the morning and allow it to lightly dry out to a depth of about 3 inches before soaking it again. This will help prevent stem rot and powdery mildew, as the plant has a shallow root system. Allowing the plant to dry out too much can make the fruit bitter, however. A layer of mulch will help maintain the moisture balance. Adequate moisture is particularly important during flowering and fruiting. Sandier soils will require more frequent watering. 3. Once the plants are about 4 inches tall, thin the rows so the plants are spaced about 12 to 24 inches apart, depending on the variety. 4. Four weeks after planting, side-dress with compost, aged manure or 1 tablespoon of 10-7-7 organic fertilizer. A 7-5-5 or 6-3-3 balance can also be used, just make sure it has a slightly higher nitrogen ratio to stimulate leaf growth and fruiting. That said, excessive nitrogen (and/or low boron or inadequate pollination) will result in cucumbers with hollow centers — a sign of excessively rapid growth, preventing the fruit from forming properly. 5. As the plant grows, train it upward on your trellis. Alternatively, grow them in a large pot, whiskey barrel or raised bed, where it can sprawl over the sides. Growing them vertically will produce straighter fruit, however, and protect the fruit from pests and rot. Pest Control and Pollination The striped cucumber beetle, easily identified by its bright yellow body with black spots (resembling an elongated yellow lady bug), can be quite destructive, munching through the plant and spreading plant diseases such as mosaic virus and bacterial wilt, the latter of which causes the plant to wilt and die. Wilt-infected plants will not produce fruit. Moreover, cucumber beetles are particularly attracted to plants with bacterial wilt, so be sure to remove any infected plants to prevent spread. To determine whether your plant actually has bacterial wilt, Gardening Know How offers the following suggestion:8 “[C]ut the stem and squeeze both ends. A sticky sap will ooze out of the cut. If you stick these ends back together and then pull them apart again, making a rope like connection between the two in the ooze, this means they have the bacteria. Unfortunately, once cucumbers have wilt there is no saving them.” One of the most effective ways to control the cucumber beetle is to disrupt its lifecycle by covering young plants with row covers and rotating your crop each season. Keep the row covers on until the plant starts to flower. At that point, you want beneficial pollinators to have access to the plant. Misshapen fruit is often the result of inadequate pollination. Flowering plants such as lavender, thyme and dandelion will attract pollinators such as bees and butterflies into your garden. If you notice a lack of pollinators, you may need to hand pollinate your cucumbers to ensure a successful crop. For instructions, see Gardening Know How’s “How to Pollinate Cucumber” section.9 A natural insecticide that can be used to ward off the cucumber beetle is kaolin clay. It needs to be applied preventatively, as it acts as a repellent. Common plant diseases include alternaria leaf blight, angular leaf spot and bacterial leaf spot — all of which can be reduced or prevented by selecting a disease-resistant variety. Stem rot and powdery mildew can be prevented by following the watering schedule suggested in the top bullet above. Blossom end rot is discouraged by avoiding excessive drying of the soil between watering. Harvesting and Storage The cucumbers are ready for harvest when they’re about 1 to 1.5 inches in diameter, firm with round edges, and a bright medium to dark green. Yellow, puffy, wrinkled or mushy water-logged fruits should be discarded. Yellowing fruit is a sign of over ripeness, the color resulting from a drop in chlorophyll — the exception being if you’re growing a yellow-fleshed cultivar, such as the Lemon cucumber. The more frequently you pick the fruit, the more productive the plant will be, so harvest a few every couple of days. Harvesting in the morning will ensure maximum crispness. If you prefer less seedy cucumbers, pick them while they’re on the skinnier side. The seeds will develop the longer the fruit remains on the vine. With size, the cucumber will also develop bitterness. To maintain their freshness longer, store your cucumbers at room temperature. Avoid overly warm areas, however, as vitamin C, B6 and carotenoids are susceptible to heat damage. Loss of these nutrients may be slowed through refrigeration.10 Half-used cucumbers can be refrigerated in a sealed container to prevent them from drying out. Avoid storing cucumbers near bananas, melons and tomatoes, as these produce ethylene, a plant hormone that initiates the ripening process. For optimal quality, use up fresh cucumbers within two days. Ways to Use Cucumbers Fresh cucumbers are delicious sliced with a pinch of salt, or pickled with some vinegar and sliced onions. Pureed cucumbers also make for a refreshing, cold gazpacho soup. Simply mix the cucumber puree with fresh diced tomatoes, green peppers and onions; salt and pepper to taste. Diced cucumbers can also be added to tuna fish or chicken salad. Other simple cucumber recipes include cucumber salad with lemon herb dressing and feta and cucumber rolls with creamy avocado. There are many ways to use cucumbers that do not involve eating them, however. Mother Nature Network’s article, “13 Ways to Use Cucumbers” offers a range of tips, including the following:11 Hair conditioner to counteract chlorine damage: Blend one egg, 1 tablespoon of olive oil and one-quarter of a peeled cucumber in a blender. Spread the mix evenly through your hair and leave on for 10 minutes. Rinse thoroughly Refreshing skin tonic: Puree one whole cucumber in a blender with 4 tablespoons of fresh mint and pour through a strainer. The juice toner can be stored in the fridge for 24 hours. Cucumbers have near-identical pH as skin, making it excellent for skin health Anti-blemish face mask: Blend a 1-inch slice of peeled cucumber in a blender until liquid, then add one drop of rosemary essential oil. Whisk one egg white until stiff, then fold in the cucumber liquid. Apply to face, avoiding your eyes and mouth. Leave on for 15 minutes, then rinse off with a damp washcloth Cooling summer bath: Add 2 cups of Epsom salt, one sliced cucumber and a handful of crushed peppermint leaves (to release the oils) to a tub of tepid water