Tucker's mom invites him to Take Your Son to Work Day
So! Tucker hasn't talked to his mom in a little while, he usually stays with his Dad and Step-Mom in Amity, but every once in a while he'll go over to Washington DC to visit his Bio Mom.
And she recently just called him to ask if he wanted to visit the White House on Bring your Child to Work Day. She works there as the Secretary of Defense, and he is actually really interested in what she does for work.
So, he get picked up and taken to Washington, where he meets up with his Mom.
Amanda Waller.
...
For the record, Amanda Waller knows she's not a good person, and Definitely not a Good Mom. But she thinks she is at least semi-decent, look, she even invited her son to Bring Your Child To Work Day!
And look how much fun he is having running around the Argus Labs! She knew he was a Tech Geek, but he is really getting into it.
Right now he's looking at their Confiscated Alien Tech, and the smile on his face is actually making Amanda feel a little happy. Oh, what's he doing now? What's he doing with the Coffee Maker? Why is he taking that Screwdriver from that Toolbo-
What is he doing with the Alien Tech?!
She rushes over to stop him, but stops dead in her tracks when she sees what he did. Somehow, he had just taken a Busted Alien Cooling Unit, took some parts from the Coffee Maker, and turned it into a Freeze Ray.
"Oh, sorry Mom. Do you want me to put it back the way it was?"
"...do you want a Job?"
"...I'm 14."
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one.
wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
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THE DAD PANTALONE ASKS!!!! have you guys ever seen 5TAKUHU1's fanart series of the haikyuu characters as working dads? pls look them up on twt bc that's exactly how i picture daddylone 😫💓 a tiny baby in a fluffy bear onesie holding onto his fur coat and nibbling on his hair while he goes on with his work 🥺
babylone loves to nap on their dad bc he has the most soothing and calming voice, he could just be reading monthly reports from the bank out loud and bby would be peacefully lulled to sleep 🥺 then him adjusting their pacifier and pinching their cheeks without even looking up from his documents ahhhhh 🥺🥺🥺🥺
when he comes home after a long day and plops down on the couch to relax, he immediately has his baby on one side of his chest and his s/o on the other, they're just sooo clingy with him 😭 he'd be such a dilf i'm crying how can you NOT give him all the babies he wants
DADLONE AND BABYLONE 😭 I am loving these names. But omg you know he buys his kid the most cutest clothes ever- he loves to dress them up 🥺 He is literally amazing with them, he's the kind of dad who can actually get work done while watching his kid because his baby actually listens to him- they fall asleep in the blink of an eye (while you're out here struggling) I don't have much to add because this is just quite cute 🥺 He really is the best dad! He definitely sings them lullabies too!
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