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#THIRTY NINE PAGES
applehairchim · 1 year
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Huwaina's Kdrama Recs
i loveee dramas that just makes you want to wrap yourself in a blanket and not leave you on the edge of your seat. if you know me, then youll know i hate (LOATHE) thriller/ psychological dramas UNLESS theyre mixed rom-com, feel good, slice of life, coming of age etc 😌
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Crash Course in Romance
Alchemy of Souls Part 1
Navillera
When the Camellia Blooms
Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo
Do you Like Brahms
Move to Heaven
Love to Hate You (love the start and the concept and plot but towards the end things escalated quickly so that was disappointing to me :/ and some scenes were questionable but alas it is 10 eps)
Recipe for Farewell
Attorney Woo
Hospital Playlist
Strong Woman Do Bong Soon
Dr Cha
When the Weather is Fine
Celebrity (NOT AT ALL rom com but ahhhh its too good not to recommend i legit stayed up just to finish 8eps in 4 hrs dysjbshsb)
Castaway Diva (mentions of abuse, so I skipped those parts but other than that they have my heart <3)
Tell Me That You Love Me (the cutest🥺🥺🥺 that kind of slowburn, innocent but careful kind of love when you both mutally respect one another)
** also if youve watched any of my recs, feel free to inbox me so that we can fangirl together!!
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asia kate dillon as achilles in iphigenia crash land falls on the neon shell that was once her heart (a rave fable) via theatre incognita and teatrotaller in 2012
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i am forcing myself to develop a weekly writing practice because the dissertation literally will not get done otherwise at this point but the idea of starting writing at 9:30AM after i’ve already been up since six and taught an entire class in the interim is so deeply unappealing that it borders on indescribable 
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mossy-rock-in-a-field · 5 months
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Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.
Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:
She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.
She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.
Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.
She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.
She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.
She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.
We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)
She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)
She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.
She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.
I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.
anyway shout out to my mom for being neat
Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5
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dearhargrove · 2 months
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Hi there! I have an eddie diaz request please. I don't know if you've seen the boyfriend door lean on tiktok but I was thinking eddie either comes across it and tries it on reader to see if it works (reader is a bookworm) or he does it without knowing what it is and reader melts (in either scenario) and she explains and shows it to him and he says he'll have to do it more often? All cute fluffy and adorable if you can please. Thank you!!
summary Eddie finds out about the 'door frame lean' thing on tiktok and tries it on you.
word count 950
tags fluffy and a bit spicy, Chris!!, Eddie's a menace
a/n hope I did this request justice because I absolutely adore that idea! Need someone to do this for me? Also Eddie would most definitely do this at any chance after realising how it had you going crazy 😭 I used this tiktok as a reference by the way!
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You're sitting up against the headboard with your book in your hands and a glass of wine on the nightstand next to you, simply passing time until your boyfriend comes home from his 24 hour shift.
You're almost done with it when you hear the front door open and close, a bag being dropped on the floor and shoes messily discarded next to the shoe rack (it seems no matter how many times you get mad at him for not putting his shoes away he forgets it and repeats the same mistake).
Moments later you see him walk along the hallway to your shared bedroom. His hair is messy instead of combed back like it was this morning when he'd made sure to ask you if it looked good, and the exhaustion is clear on his face.
You close your book after putting the bookmark between the pages you were reading and look at him with a smile that he easily reciprocates.
“Rough shift?” you move off the bed and walk to lean against the door frame as he approaches. “Yeah. People are stupid,” you chuckle and he stops in front of you, reaching his left hand up and placing it on the door frame and easily leaning his head down to look at you.
You're entirely caught off guard, not sure whether to look into his eyes or focus on the fact that this position was very flattering on his biceps. You swallow nervously which he catches and tilts his head with a small smirk.
“What? Why do you look nervous, amor?” He asks huskily and puts his other hand on your waist. That's just about your last straw and you fluster and look away, “Uh, no, just- how was your shift?”
He laughs and lets go of the door frame to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer until he can reach your neck and bury his face in it. You're pretty sure he can feel your pulse being abnormally high from where he'd placed his head, so in hopes of not making him aware of how crazy this entire situation had you going you bury your hands in his hair and gently scratch his scalp. Something you knew would make him melt any time you did it.
He grunts and his arms tighten around your waist, fingers pressing into the middle of your lower back. “Fuck,” he mumbles, “That feels good.”
Your whole ruse to distract him backfired because he just kept getting more sexy and you're pretty sure he either knew exactly what he was doing or was totally unaware of the effect this whole interaction was having on you.
“Dad, you're home!” Chris distracts both of you and Eddie kisses your pulse point and squeezes your waist again before crouching down to lift Chris into his arms and hug him tight. “Hey, buddy. Aren't you supposed to be asleep? It's almost nine thirty.”
You watch them and take the moment to gather your wits again because, oh my god. You'll never be able to read about the door frame lean in a book again without thinking about this.
Later that night when you're both in bed, his head placed on your chest as he patiently waits for you to finish reading the chapter so you could play with his hair, he looks up at you, “I didn't actually believe that door frame thing would work.”
Your jaw drops and you look at him with furrowed brows, “What do you mean?”
“That.. what's it called? Booktok. Buck was talking about it because he thought it was funny and mentioned how I should know what that is since you read so much. I didn't so I looked it up. Who knew you'd fold so easily?” He teases and you glare at him in slight embarrassment and take your hand from his hair.
“Stop teasing me about it.” He laughs and shakes his head, “Never. You looked way too cute, though I almost got worried with how high your pulse was getting…”
You gasp and flick his forehead with your index finger, about to throw some insult at him when the door opens and Christopher stands in the doorway.
Eddie sits up and you put your book on the nightstand, “Chris? Everything okay, love?” You ask and he pouts. “Nightmare. Can I sleep here tonight?”
You look at Eddie with a worried expression and he slightly shrugs but scoots to the side to make space for the ten year old. He crawls into the middle of you and you pull the blanket up to his shoulders. He looks at you with big eyes and you smile, knowing what he wanted, before carding your hand through his hair. He hums happily and Eddie looks at you slightly offended, “He's stealing your attention.”
You snort and roll your eyes, “You can wait until he's asleep.” Chris grins happily at his father and then at you. “I'm cuter anyway,” Eddie gasps and you laugh as the two banter.
One look at the clock though and you're shushing them both with a forehead kiss, “Alright now, time to sleep.” Eddie looks happy with himself, taking that as him getting all your attention now and you raise one eyebrow, “You too.”
Chris giggles and then settles down, same as Eddie after he scowls at you. You click off the small lamp on your nightstand and see Chris already snoozing with Eddie watching him fondly.
Placing your hand in Eddie's hair instead you whisper ‘I love you’ which he repeats and puts his arm over Chris to put his hand on your hip, falling asleep not long after.
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nynewsbash · 2 years
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10 new K dramas to watch in August 2022: Pachinko, Money Heist Korea, Thirty nine, All of us are dead, and more
10 new K dramas to watch in August 2022: Pachinko, Money Heist Korea, Thirty nine, All of us are dead, and more
10 new K-dramas to watch in August 2022: Pachinko, Money Heist Korea, Thirty nine, All of us are dead, and more 10 new K dramas to watch in August 2022! 1. Money Heist: Korea The Korean adaptation of the widely-liked Spanish series has done well for itself. The first half of the crime thriller was engaging and intriguing owing to standout performers like Jeon Jong-seo, Kim Ji-hoon, and Park…
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icanhearcolors · 8 months
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I really love the idea of Tav drawing Astarion to show him what he looks like, could you maybe write something about that? ^-^
Hiiiiii! I can indeed thank you for the request :b
Welcome back to another episode of Abby tries to write something short and can't make it less than two thousand words.
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EVERYBODY LOOK AT THIS GIF CUZ KJNKBJHGFRRETFO
Sorry I think I got possessed for a second there
Word count: 2.1k
The night sky had never been this gorgeous in the city. In Baldur’s Gate, the upper city was illuminated by mage lights that adorned the cobblestone paths. The light was bright enough that the citizens split into two factions, the night life and the day. Even those without dark vision could operate solely at night in total comfort if they chose to. In the lower city, fires were always burning, sending plumes of rich smelling smoke into the air constantly, obscuring the night sky.
But out here, under the blue light of a full moon, you can see every star and constellation in vivid detail. A soft purr-like snore hums against your back, and you brush a hand over the downy feathers of the owlbear cub you rescued from the goblins. He was getting so big. If he gets half as big as his mother was it is going to become a challenge to travel with him. It’s a sacrifice you’re more than willing to make. Besides, you could always cast the reduction spell on him in a pinch if any problem arose. He sleeps curled around your back, alongside his friend Scratch the dog, whose fluffy white head is resting in your lap.
The campfire crackles a few yards ahead as Wyll adds a few logs, humming a Baldurian tune you recognize but can’t quite recall the name of.
For the first time since the nautiloid crash you feel peaceful. Safe.
You turn your gaze to Astarion’s tent, probably for the thousandth time tonight, and stare at his profile as he flips through the pages of the seemingly sentient necromancy tomb you had discovered a few tendays prior. A faint green light curls from the pages like mist, illuminating half his face and casting the rest in shadow. You’d never really understood the saying “so beautiful it hurts'' until you met Astarion. An unknown emotion compresses your chest in a way that makes it hard to breathe sometimes when you look at him. You think it started out as empathy. Every detail of Astarion’s story he revealed to either warn you about vampires or shock you for his own amusement painted a picture of a horrific life full of trauma and misery that you found hard to reconcile with your enigmatic companion. He was always the first to crack a joke. He laughed loudly and on a constant basis. From an outsider’s view he’d appear almost carefree. Happy even. You wondered now how much of that laughter was real, and how much of it was the armor he’d donned a couple hundred years ago when he breached the surface of his own grave. You recall a conversation you had with him a while back about vanity. In his two hundred and forty years, give or take, he’d only been able to see his reflection for thirty nine. An incredibly young age to die for a high elf, and a small fraction of his life-span. Even if any fuzzy memory remained of that past life, it was no longer accurate anyway. 
He was something different now. 
Your eyes slide to your pack. You had found something yesterday- something rare indeed. A merchant selling art supplies outside of the city. You had everything you needed to give Astarion something you took for granted every day. His reflection.
Slowly, both as to not disturb your sleeping friends and not alert the elf in question to your actions, you slip a hand inside the bag. Your fingers find a pencil easily, the paper next, and you begin to draw. At first you draw him as he is, using his current unmoving form as a model, but you had been quite the artist in your time in Baldur’s gate, and you finished that drawing almost too quickly. So, you draw him again from memory, this time with his head thrown back, face scrunched with laughter. Then you draw his frown, his smirk, the condescending expression he so often gives Gale, the softer one you don’t quite understand that he reserves for you. You don’t hide or downplay his vampiric traits. You draw him exactly as he is, blending colored chalk to capture every shade of red in his eyes. Time falls away as you lose focus on everything but your work. Eventually, some time much later, the cramps in your muscles wake you from your trance. You stretch, and your knees, shoulders, and spine crack loudly. Scratch wakes up, stands, shakes himself off, and trots into the bushes. Your owlbear notices, and trills a soft sound before standing too, following him into the woods. You smile as you watch them amble off, happy they get along so well. You turn back to your drawings and examine them with new eyes. You expected to feel excitement, pride maybe, but instead a cold feeling ties your insides in knots as you realize you can never give these to Astarion. The drawings are some of your best work, but they’re also… reverential. A glimpse of Astarion through your eyes. Anyone who saw them would think you had drawn your lover, not your less-than-trusting involuntary traveling companion. He would take one look and realize exactly what you’ve been hiding from him since- well since you met him. You were infatuated with the vampire, and somehow, miraculously, despite the fact that you’d slept with him once already,  he seemed to be unaware.
He was going to find out.
You eye the campfire, half tempted to toss the whole pad of paper into it.
In your panic you turn your gaze toward Astarion’s tent.
He’s not there. 
His tent is open, and no one is inside it. You can see that from here. 
Somehow- maybe it’s the tadpole, or maybe it’s because you’ve spent so much time with the rogue, you realize you know exactly where he is.
Slowly, as if to avoid instigating an attack from a stalking predator, you turn your head to find Astarion standing behind you, peering over your shoulder.
Even though you were expecting it, you still startle out of your skin. Astarion drops to his knees on the ground in front of you and claps his hand over your mouth just in time to muffle your screech. You both look at eachother with wide eyes before turning slowly and in unison towards a sleeping Lae’zel. She’s frowning in her sleep, which isn’t unusual for her. She twitches, and then rolls over to her other side, sound asleep. You sigh in relief, through your nose because your mouth is still covered by Astarion’s hand. You swat it away and throw him a withering glare.
“What the in the hells is wrong with you?” You whisper-shout.
Astarion presses his lips together and turns his head away from you for a moment, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
“Oh yeah, laugh it up. If she’d woken up we’d be dead right now.”
“Look it’s not my fault you weren’t paying attention. You haven’t moved in almost four hours, I wanted to know what you could possibly be writing.”
You clutch the drawing pad to your chest and swallow nervously, eyes darting around for any glimpse of something you can use to distract him.
Unfortunately as you’ve come to realize, regardless of what they used to be, once turned vampires become lethal predators. Astarion sees your darting eyes, catches the scent of your fear, and you see the shift in his demeanor. 
His movements become slower, more fluid, as he tilts his head in malicious curiosity.
He reminds you sometimes of the big cats that roam the mountains of Faerûn. Once something captures his attention, there’s little use in trying to pull him off the hunt.
Still, you’re going to try.
“I’m not writing.”
His eyes flick to your hands, dusted in red powder, then back up. He hums.
“Drawing then. What have you been drawing Tav?” 
His voice is darker now. Persuasive. 
“It’s- uh… personal.”
Astarion lowers himself fully to the ground and stretches his legs out in front of him, leaning back on his arms. 
“A personal drawing?” He purrs, “Well now I have to see it.”
“No-” You cover your face with your hand, “That’s not what I meant and you know that Astarion.”
A moment of silence passes, so you lift your hand away from your face.
Astarion is gazing at you with that unknown expression again. His eyes look earnest, a soft smile on his lips, when he speaks the words that are your undoing.
“You can trust me, Tav. I already know how talented you are, you don’t have anything to worry about. Just show me.”
You sigh, and his smile grows. He knows he’s won.
Bastard.
“Fine you can see my drawings, but I need to tell you-”
The drawing pad is already out of your hands, your permission apparently all that was keeping Astarion from snatching it away from you.
Your heart stops at his first look at the paper. He stills, flipping through the drawings slowly, his eyes tracing every detail with excruciating slowness.
Finally, he puts you out of your misery.
“I-” He clears his throat, not meeting your eyes. “These are...”
He grips the paper tightly when you attempt to take the drawing pad back from him. You’re confused, and a little… well actually very hurt for a reason beyond your understanding.
Does he hate it? Did you overstep?
“What are you thinking?”
Astarion finally looks at you, his expression guarded. He points to the drawings.
“Who is this?”
Oh.
You’re shocked silent. You should have anticipated this. Of course Astarion wouldn’t recognize himself in your drawings. That was the entire reason you drew him in the first place.
“He’s um-” You fall silent again.
Astarion looks both terrified and heartbreakingly hopeful. You’re sure he already knows the answer. You’ve spoken to him at length about what he is. You know that he knows he’s the only vampire spawn you’ve ever met, and you’ve been traveling together without much separation ever since.
He still needs to hear you say it.
You stare at your wringing hands in your lap and take a deep breath.
“I remembered that conversation we had about how you don’t know what you look like, you just have to go off of what other people tell you, and I bought these art supplies earlier and I haven’t drawn in so long, I used to all the time but with everything that’s going on- and I meant to just draw you once but I wanted you to know what you looked like when you smiled too and then I got a little carried away I’m so-”
You don’t hear him move. Your rambling speech stutters to a stop at the sensation of a hand on your cheek. Astarion hooks his thumb under your chin and lifts your head just enough to press his lips to yours.
Your eyes widen in surprise and then flutter closed. All thoughts cease, replaced by a languid warmth that melts you into a puddle on the ground.
You tilt your head and kiss him back, a tingling sensation racing down your spine. His hand slides from your cheek into your hair, and he gently pulls your head back, deepening the kiss in a way that steals the air from your lungs.
All too soon he pulls back, just a few inches, and smiles.
A real, genuine smile that shows his teeth and lights his eyes. You think you would do terrible terrible things to see that smile more often.
He brings his other hand up to frame your face, holding you in place as if he’s afraid you’ll pull away.
“Thank you.” He says simply, his voice hoarse.
“This is a gift. I won’t forget it.”
He repeats the words he said to you what feels like centuries ago, the night you found out he was a vampire and agreed to feed him. 
“You’re welcome.” Is all you can think to say.
With absolutely no warning at all Astarion drops his hands to your shoulders and yanks you toward him just in time. A pillow, rather violent in its velocity, grazes the back of your head in its catapult into the forest. Somewhere in the dark woods, Scratch yelps.
“Next time it will be my sword Isticks”
Growls Lae’zel from her bed roll on the other side of the campfire.
You turn back to Astarion with an amused but also terrified expression, and he smiles knowingly, rolling his eyes.
He picks the drawings up off the ground from where they’d been scattered at some point and gathers them in one hand. He stands, hoisting you up with his free hand, and practically drags you across the camp to his tent.
You’ll have to draw him more often.
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hey-kae · 1 year
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A kiss, a Cake, a Flight, and a Heart Attack
Or four mornings where Charles wakes you up.
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Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader
Request: read here
Warnings: Language, sexual implications, slight nudity, google translate italian (once), mentions of burns and fire, charles needing to stay away from the kitchen.
a/n: one thing about me is i will have charles mess up in the kitchen… But i actually had fun writing this and i hope you’ll like it! It’s a long one cause i added a bit to the request so buckle up (thank u @stcrgazings for helping me with this one) & Big, big apology to the person who sent the request cause it was sent in october🙃
A kiss and i’m all yours for the day:
He’d been awake for hours now, moving from room to room, doing random things, fidgeting around the apartment, struggling to find something to occupy himself with.
He had this habit that occasionally classified as a bad one. By six in the morning, he’d be up and running no matter what, even on his days off like it was the case today.
Sometimes, he would go to bed at night with the decision made that he was gonna sleep in the next day, only for his biological clock to ring it’s alarm right as the sun begins to rise, his body too used to waking up early.
The situation was no different this time. He woke up at a quarter to six, refused to get out of bed for over half an hour, hoping and praying he’d go back to sleep until he lost hope and stumbled out of the bedroom with stomping feet, and now he was awake all alone, sat on the balcony with a cup of fresh juice on the table by his side, gazing at an elderly neighbor in the apartment accros from him as the man sat watching TV, drinking coffee and chatting with someone that was out of Charles’ field of vision.
The sunlight was still a soft glow, slowly illuminating the streets, casting Monaco under its golden, calm spell, and in the midst of this scene was Charles, looking so serene, but oh so bored with his legs propped up on another chair as he waited for the clock to tick a bit more, anticipating the moment when you’d finally stretch your arms above your head and groan in bed, signaling that you were awake, not happily but awake all the same.
He waited over an hour like that. He scrolled on his phone, listened to music, read a few pages of a book he had bought a few days ago, made himself breakfast and ate it… It seemed like he did so much, like a lot of time had passed but when his finger met the screen of his phone in a gentle tap and his eyes read the numbers on the screen, he let out a loud groan at how early it still was. It wasn’t even seven yet and so he sat patiently until that patience wore thin after a few moments.
Hoping it was now a decent hour to wake you up, he tapped his phone screen again to check the time, only to be disappointed once more by the numbers reading just a few minutes past 7.
“Putain.” Fuck. He mumbled to himself and threw his head back.
It was a day off, and what he loved about his days at home was that he got to spend them with you, but he couldn’t help that he was an early riser and you just about despised the morning, and so he waited.
Around eight, his patience had run out and his boredom levels had skyrocketed.
Usually, you woke up around 9:30 and so, he sat there for five more minutes, his mind getting decently creative with the gaslighting methods it was pulling on itself to reach the conviction that it was close enough to nine thirty.
It wasn’t, it really wasn’t but Charles got up nonetheless, leaving his cup and book right where they were as he headed straight to the bedroom as not to give himself any time to rationalize this.
His hand reached for the cold knob, he opened the door and peaked his head inside to sneak a look at his soundly asleep girlfriend.
You looks so peaceful and relaxed, asleep on your stomach, the fluffy covers blurring the outline of your body, leaving him to admire what was visible: you hiding your face in his pillow, hugging it close to you simultaneously.
An advantage of him waking up before you every day was that he got to witness this, the fact that you found comfort in his scent lingering on his side of the bed and on his pillowcase. Sometimes the sight gave him a weird sense of melancholy, especially on days where he was in a rush, with nowhere near enough time to appreciate this. Sometimes, i tugged at his heart since it left him picturing you asleep, all alone while he was across the world from where he was supposed to be, right by your side.
Today, it made him smile widely as his heartbeat picked up its pace.
He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him again then started taking cautious steps to the bed where he got back in under the sheets with you and slowly pried the pillow out of your grip, replacing it with himself.
He pulled you into his chest, grinning widely when he felt your arms subconsciously wrap around his waist and your head snuggle into the crook of his neck like it was instinct, his shirtless state making this so much better for him.
Mindlessly, his hand reached for your hair, his fingers brushing through it carefully while he leaned his face forward and placed a quick kiss onto the top of your head, making you snuggle further into his chest.
With a lingering smile, he spoke in a low voice, “Bonjour, chérie.”
Instantly, that made you groan, because even in your barely conscience state, you knew that little sentence was Charles’ morning shenanigans kicking off.
“Uh-uh.” You grumbled, hiding your face completely against his shoulder, hoping he would take the hint, and when he went silent and still for a few minutes, you really thought he did. You fell back into deep slumber while holding him, falsely assuming he was gonna leave you to be.
However, this was Charles, insistant as ever. His silence was in fact just him plotting.
“Baby, come on. Lève-toi.” Get up. His voice was soft and hushed as his hand slipped down your body, under the sheets and right under your oversized shirt -his shirt that you were sleeping in, his fingertips delicately meeting the soft skin to lightly trace patterns up and down your back, eliciting goosebumps on your skin, the feather feel of his touch making you arch into him instinctively.
Your complaint was half-hearted, spoke into his neck in the form of a groan of his name, the vibrations of it sending a shiver down his spine.
“Oui?” He whispered, feigning clueless about the fact that this was a complaint.
“Fuck off.” You mumbled back, making his lips twist up in a smile that slowly progressed into a slight chuckle that you too felt against your chest while Charles allowed his head to rest against the headboard.
“Tu veux pas te réveiller?” You don’t wanna wake up? He asked, already knowing the answer to that.
“Too early for baguettes.” You whined again, rolling off his body, back onto the mattress, covering your head with the pillow to tune your annoying boyfriend out.
Meanwhile, Charles was trying to figure out who even mentioned baguettes, because he sure didn’t.
“Baguettes?” He frowned.
“Ugh…” you sighed, “English, Charles. Too early for french.”
Just as your muffled voice met his ears, his laughter took ahold of him, shaking his body and the bed along with it.
The plan to keep your eyes shut under all circumstances, the only guarantee to another meeting with sleep, was failing. You gave up and peeked at him, tossing the pillow onto his head, “I hate you, Leclerc.”
Charles, with a quick reaction, grabbed the pillow and held it to his chest while your hands rubbed at your face, moving up to angrily toss back your hair that had covered your face.
You propped your body up on your elbows and rubbed your eyes again, pouting as you did so, leaving Charles, who still had a soft smile lighting up his features as he watched you with soft eyes, to take in the adorable sight of your messy hair and pouty lips.
“That’s okay, amour. You’ll go back to loving me in an hour.” He smiled, in his head the scenes of the many forced early mornings replaying.
“No, ‘cause i’m going back to sleep.” You remarked, frustration bubbling in your chest at his insistence.
Forcefully, you yanked onto the sheets, forming them into a cocoon covering you up to your head.
“But, baby… I’m home with you all day today.” Charles sounded disappointed now, but you were too sleepy and not awake enough yet to argue with him on the subject.
However, in your head, you were wondering why the fuck did a day off need to start as early as school does? It was truly beyond you, the answer to that question.
“Alright, then…” you heard him rustle off the bed, sighing as he did, “I did tell Andrea i don’t wanna train today so i can stay here with you,” he explained as he started opening and closing closets and drawers, “if you’re too sleepy to spend time with me - which is totally fine by the way, i’ll just give him a call and tell him to meet me at the gym or something.”
You blinked your eyes open at the statement, the disappointment tainting his tone and the fact that he so desperately wanted a full day with just you just now sinking in. You wanted to spend time alone with him as well. It would be so utterly disappointing if you woke up later to realize you had wasted this opportunity.
By the sounds of it, Charles was already dressed since you heard zippers being pulled up and clothes being tossed around.
Blinking your eyes repeatedly, you sighed and prepared to interrupt his plan, but before you could, you heard him unlock his phone, probably preparing to call Andrea.
Hurriedly, you pulled the duvet off your head and mumbled, “Charles, wait…”
However, there he was, stood in the middle of the room, grinning like an idiot, still shirtless and in his sleep shorts.
His trick had worked perfectly and now you were awake and he had absolutely no plans whatsoever to meet up with Andrea and as you glared at him with a piercing gaze, he broke out in a laugh and practically jumped on top of you, the covers still covering you cushioning his weight as his arms wrapped around you.
“Good morning.” He smiled widely while looking down at you.
“That was low, Leclerc.” You pushed at his shoulder, frowning deeply.
With one eyebrow raised, he replied, “I can still call Andrea.”
“You know what? Maybe you should. You are a pain in the ass at this point, Charles.”
His arms snuck around your waist to firmly hold your body to his as he flipped the two of you over so you were comfortably laying on his chest.
“Now you’re just hurting my feelings.” He playfully said, watching as your head found it resting place on his shoulder, “I though you would like that i’m all your for the day.”
The annoyance on your side was beginning to waver, a small smile now replacing the frown on your face as you spoke against his skin, “You’re all mine every day.”
“Of course i’m always yours, baby.“ His heart was beating faster as he spoke and admired your slowly relaxing features, “I just mean i’m home with you today.” Charles kissed your forehead.
“Um, i do love that, bébé.” You reassured, your hand trailing up to his cheek, you fingers running along his jawline, feeling the stubble that had grown, “It’s just your morning chronicles that i hate.”
“Just think of it as more time together, all alone in our apartment.” He replied, leaning into your touch, “Now, give me my good morning kiss.”
That, you would never refuse so, your lips met his in a sweet kiss throughout which, you felt his hands on the smile of your back, hugging you to him as your lips moved briefly against his before you relaxed back on his chest, accepting your fate that your day was gonna start now.
“What time is it?” You asked out of curiosity, yawning at the end of the sentence and lifting yourself a bit, getting ready to get out of bed.
Instead of an answer, Charles just gave you a tight-lipped, wide smile and pulled you back down, telling you he loves you right against your ear.
“What’s important is that we’re gonna spend so much time together, n’est ce pas?” …right? The cheesy smile he was displaying showed you one thing. It was still early as fuck.
✩★✩
A cake and a weird smell:
The previous night had been amazing. The party was loud and chaotic but absolutely perfect. The music was picked right to your taste, the drinks were all your favorites and all the people you loved were all gathered under one roof, all having fun with seemingly no other cares in the world.
And Charles… he was - and is - the best boyfriend on so many different scales. His insistence on making every day special went above any beyond on special occasions, especially on your birthday. He had organized everything to utmost perfection, planning every detail of your birthday party himself, down to the type of confetti used and the font on the “Happy Birthday” banner hanging elegantly on the entrance of the club he had chosen for the occasion.
In fact, he had planned everything down to his own appearance for the night, picking out your favorite clothes of his, styling his hair how you liked it - just the right proportion of messy and put together, using your favorite perfume of his and putting on the ring you loved so much.
Last night’s surprises were perfect and the way he took care of your every need once the two of you were finally alone, in the dimly lit environment of your bedroom, was even more than that.
Even falling asleep in his arms was perfect, but now, at past ten in the morning, he was awake and out of bed and you were back to hugging his pillow to make up for his absence.
Charles had woken up later than usual today due to how late he stayed up last night, but as soon as he was awake, he put on some sweatpants and headed right for the kitchen, pulling an apron over his bare chest before starting to dig through the cabinets, pulling out all the ingredients and utensils he needed until he was left with a pile of stuff on the counter. His eyes were still scanning the things he prepared as he grabbed his phone and rung up his mom for help.
“Maman, j’ai besoin que tu me donne la recette la plus facile que tu sais pour faire un gâteau.” Mom, i need you to give me the easiest cake recipe you know. He rushed over the phone and when his mom started telling him what to do, he put her on speaker and started following the directions silently, only interrupting the flow with small remarks such as “Attend, y a des coquilles d’œufs dans le bol.” Wait, there’s eggshells in the bowl.
Charles, for once, was more than meticulous with absolutely everything. He had triple checked the amount and the label of each ingredient he added before mixing with extra caution to make sure he wouldn’t be making a mess. By the end of the preparations, he was so sure this cake would turn out just like his mother’s, delicious and homey, made with so much love and that alone left him beaming as, in his mind, he imagined your reaction to him waking you up to something he made you himself.
Once he poured the batter into the cake mold and put it in the oven, he said goodbye to his mother and went to check on you.
Like always, he was grinning like an idiot as soon as his eyes met the sight of the one he loves so dearly. He stilled in his spot and leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed in front of his chest while he silently watched you sleep, your bare back and your messy hair being the only two clear parts of you that were showing. Still, that was enough to leave him with thoughts of his love for you and for the simple thought that you were his girl, that he was the one you loved.
Charles, in opposite to all other mornings, was being extra cautious not to wake you up just yet. That would ruin his plan, what would subsequently put him in a bad mood since he’s been planning this for weeks, the only thought in his head while doing so being the smile you’d give him when he woke you up with another surprise, this time one that’s just yours and his to see and remember. Days ago, he snuck out while you were busy and bought you the gift he would be giving you today.
Sighing contently, he closed the bedroom door again and headed for the living room where he sat down for a total of about 10 minutes since he was unable to stop checking on the cake, anxiously waiting to decorate it with the candles he had secretly bought and hid in the highest cupboard, the only one you couldn’t reach. However, he eventually got carried away when he had to take a call related to the mechanics of this season’s car. The issue was that the car was doing everything but functioning according to calculations and so the call went on for longer than he was expecting and he was getting worked up over the conversation, what bugged him even more because he was supposed to be in a good mood today.
“Mi dispiace, devo andare. Forse ne parleremo di nuovo domani?” I’m sorry, i have to go. We’ll talk about this again tomorrow maybe? He ended the conversation and rushed to the oven, already cursing since the smell invading the kitchen wasn’t quite right.
With oven mitts ready, he opened the door and a whiff of smoke burst out.
It was bad.
His eyes narrowed to protect themselves from the heat and smoke as he grabbed the cake pan and brought it out onto the nearby counter.
Immediately, his shoulders dropped and his heart sank at the sight.
The cake looked burnt to a crisp, dark as coal. It looked so bad, he had to bite his lip and look away so he wouldn’t break out in a stream of cuss words.
What was he supposed to do now? He wanted this special moment with you so badly, it was making him feel helpless that he wouldn’t get to surprise you like he had been planning.
He angrily turned off the oven and closed its door back up.
His mind was racing and he was indescribably angry now as he paced back and forth, wishing he had some sort of a back up plan, but he didn’t because he really thought this was foolproof, and it would’ve been if it wasn’t for that damn call.
Charles felt hopeless now. This was supposed to be your own little private celebration of your birthday after a very public party yesterday, something to remember years down the line when you’re all grown, most probably married, after you’ve had kids that would steal most of your privacy, leaving you to reminisce on moments of recklessness and affection that you shared unbothered during your dating days, these current days. This morning was supposed to be special.
“Bordel de merde.” Fucking shit. He cursed, tossing away the mitts still in his fist before storming out of the kitchen onto the balcony, trying to escape the awful burning smell filling the apartment.
The road below was busy and loud. Thankful for the distraction, Charles watched while still trying to figure something out, his eyes following a pedestrian running along the sidewalk until a store down the street caught his attention, making an idea spark in his head.
Within a minute, he was dressed and out of the apartment, practically hurling down the sidewalk until he burst through the door of the shop, a patisserie.
“S’il vous plaît, dites moi que vous avez un gâteau que je peux acheter immédiatement.” Please, tell me you have a cake i can buy immediately. He blurted with no greeting, taking the two workers who instantly recognized him by surprise. They stood there dumbfounded and staring at him like he was a ghost until one of them snapped out of it and went up to help him.
Luckily, there was a few plain white cake that they make for last-minute orders, so they wrote on it what Charles had asked them to and just like that, he was hurrying back home with relief, the smile having returned to his face.
He wanted for this to seem more laid back so he changed back into his sweatpants, deciding that there was no need for a shirt, then he opened just about every window in the house to let out the awful smell and he cleaned up the kitchen before taking a look around to made sure everything was spotless. Once he was satisfied, he got the cake out of the box, reached for the hidden candles and meticulously placed on in it, grabbed the small bag that had your final gift from it’s hiding place and he made his way to the bed.
He rested the objects in his hands on the nightstand and he climbed in next to you, burying his face in your neck, sealing a quick kiss against the soft skin there.
“Bébé…” he started softly, his hand moving your hair away and massaging your shoulders as he moved around to kiss your cheek, his soft trail of cautious kissed trailing towards your exposed back.
Even in your sleep, a shiver ran down your spine when his lip met the spot between your shoulders and without even knowing it, your head tilted to the side to give him more room to kiss your neck.
Charles knew you like he knew the back of his own hand. You absolutely melted the second he would start kissing your jawline and you neck. It was by far your favorite place to be kissed and he always acknowledged that, always payed extra attention to the supple skin under all circumstances. No matter the situation, he loved your reactions to his soft kisses.
Like always, he awaited the response and watched your body respond to him with a small lazy smile on his face. His hands moved down your sides, down to your waist until he was able to pull you to him while you groaned at him, taking the covers with you before accepting your fate and snuggling up against him.
You leg hiked up until it was resting on his waist, locking him in beside you for the moment as you reveled in the feeling on his fingers tracing down your spine and his breath fanning on your forehead.
He know you wouldn’t complain about the time he was waking you up at today, but he also knew it wouldn’t be any easier to wake you up. Your hatred for waking up was a staple of your personality and so, over the time, he came to the conclusion that the slower and the softer he woke you up, the better your mood would be, so he planned to let you take your time today.
Your thumb moving on his waist where your arm was resting was enough of a sign to him that it would be minutes before you would flutter your eyes open and blink up at him lovingly like always.
His arm remained around your body while he folded the other under his head, giving himself just enough leverage to be able to quietly gaze at you.
He had an amazing ability to catch the hints you throw and to pick up your cues with perfect accuracy, enough accuracy to know his cue when it came, so for now, he just littered kisses anywhere he could reach, the top of your head and cheeks mostly, making you smile as you slowly took awareness of the room, the surrounding sounds and the texture of Charles’ sweatpants against your bare legs.
Judging by the smile slipping your sleep, today might actually be one of the rare good mornings that you actually enjoy and Charles was ecstatic. All he wanted was for you to be happy and comfortable. That was the case for every second of his being, for every day of his life since he first laid eyes on you, so one can only imagine the amount of joy he wished for you on the morning after your birthday. He felt something foreign to him every time he spent a special occasion by your side, something bigger than him and beyond his understanding, like he would literally offer you his world and all of the stars just as soon as he finds a way to wrap them up into a present decorated just as beautifully as you were.
There was a breeze traveling through the apartment, tickling your skin in its passing, giving you goosebumps that got you pulling the covers up to fully cover your body, frowning and pouting as you did so, successfully pulling Charles’ heart into a spontaneous dance that oftentimes took him by utter surprise. Loving you was so special, so rejuvenating that Charles knew he would never get used to it; it would always feel new and fulfilling.
He couldn’t resist it. He leaned over, kissed your lips lightly and pulled away smiling, the thoughts in his head still intoxicating him, but he was surprisingly met with an objection in the form of your arms wrapping around his neck, bringing him back in for another kiss with your eyes still shut.
His hand rested on the side of your neck as he kissed you, this thumb moving so delicately along the skin while you scooted closer and closer to him, never giving up a chance to be in his arms. For a minute, thoughts of cakes and gifts got lost between your lips and his and the way they moved in synchrony against each other, as if all along, they were meant to find each other in the deepest and darkest depths of life, like you and Charles were always meant to find each other, and so he kissed you.
He kissed you with everything in him, with every ounce of love he’s ever felt in his life, all while under the charming casted spell of your hand on the side of his neck, comforting every bad thought that had ever troubled him.
He didn’t have it in him to pull away, so he kissed you until you broke away and looked up at him with sleepy, but shining and glimmering eyes, ones so full of love, it made him blush ever so shyly as a wide smile creeped up on his face, lighting up his features and prompting him to wrap you in a tight hug while you giggled against his chest, a smile on your face – a rare sighting at such a time.
That’s when he snapped out of it, right as you whispered a hoarse but soft “Bonjour” to him.
His body was still shielding the sight of the cake and gift away from you and for that he was thankful. He didn’t want the surprise getting spoilt.
He straightened up just as you lifted yourself off him, still using the fluffy duvet to cover yourself up as you stretched your arms in front of you, you eyes tight-shut as you yawned one last time and turned sideways to face him.
Charles was quick and opportunistic. Within those few seconds, he had grabbed the cake and held it up in front of you. He was just lighting the last candle as you turned to face him, your brows instantly raising as a big smile appeared on your face.
“You did not.” You sighed, the feeling in your chest indescribable.
“Tu mérites le monde. Ça, c’est rien.” You deserve the world. This, it’s nothing. He grinned, bringing the cake closer to you, but you couldn’t even shift your gaze away from him at that moment.
Your eyes locked with his happy ones, the color of them seeming way lighter as he looked at you for a second too long, making you chuckle and look down as your cheeks heated up. He couldn’t help it though. The way you looked at him always captivated him, the thought that someone could love him that much, as much as your looks were telling him that you do, giving him an urge to drop everything and run away with you.
“Come on, bébé. Make a wish.”
You looked back up at him and shut your lids, the one wish you could think of after such an amazing birthday being plainly obvious. You repeated it three times in your heart, hoping and praying that it would come true before you blew the candles and opened your eyes to the sight of Charles swiping his finger across the lettering – “Joyeux Anniversaire, mon cœur” Happy birthday, my heart – gathering whipping cream before leaning closer and putting it on your nose, making you laugh while he took in just how happy you seemed, just how happy he was and just how adorable you looked.
He wanted to keep this memory. Years down the road, this sight of you would be one of the things he’d want to show your kids.
“Peux-je prendre une photo?” Can i take a picture? He made sure to ask, his eyes sparkling as he smiled.
Laughing, you replied, “Mon cœur, je suis nue.” My heart, i am naked.
You looked down at the covers pulled up to right under your neck.
“I’ll make sure there’s nothing showing. Plus, it’s only for me to see.”
You thought for a mere second then you nodded and gestured for him to hand you the cake. You posed for him, pulling a silly face at first that efficiently showed you your favorite sight in the world, Charles’ dimples as he smiled from behind his phone.
He inspected the photos a few minutes later while you hugged him with a fluttering heart just before he gave you the gift he had prepared then made sure to feed you enough cake for three birthdays.
However, as soon as you were out of the bedroom, a burning smell invaded your senses, making you question Charles about it, prompting him to tell you the story of his burnt cake with embarrassment tinging his tone.
“Aw, baby.” You hooked your arms around his neck and pulled him in, planting a kiss onto his blushed cheek, “I still appreciate that, Charles. You are adorable and you’ve done more than enough for me these two days, bébé.” You reassured, inching you lips closer to his until they met in a passionate, feverish kiss.
It was safe to say that was one of the few mornings you actually loved, if it counts as a morning.
✩★✩
A flight and a bit of a fight:
Just because the location and the bedroom were different didn’t mean the morning dynamics between you and Charles changed, except this time, he had no choice but to wake you up in a hurry, fully knowing he’d have to face a grumpy girlfriend for the first hour of the day.
For the first time in a while, you had taken the decision to accompany Charles to a Grand Prix, packing up and taking off with him mid-week, both of you beaming at the thought of extra time together.
Make no mistake, it had all went amazing but then Monday morning came around and you had to catch the flight back home, at 6:30 in the morning, meaning you’d have to be at the airport even earlier than than.
It was a personalized hell for both you and Charles, you for obvious reasons and him because he’d be on the receiving end of the complaints. There was no way this was gonna end with anything but a fight, but it was the only flight to Nice airport with an opening and you had no other option than to board it.
Charles, tired from the weekend and in need of sleep as well, wasn’t too happy about the timing either, but he pulled himself through it. He got up while it was still dark outside and got everything ready, even preparing the suitcases and carry ons to go, leaving you asleep for as much time as he could, but the clock was ticking closer to the time you’d have to get going and he had to wake you up at that point.
He headed to the kitchenette in the suite beforehand, preparing your coffee for you in your travel cup, hoping that would help his case a bit and when he had no other choice but to go disturb your sleep, he grabbed the cup and very quietly entered the bedroom, drew the blinds and neared the bed, putting the travel mug on the nightstand and crouching down by your side.
“Baby…” He started, hating this already, “You have to wake up.”
No response.
He sighed. “Listen, mon coeur, we can’t do this today.” He brushed back your hair and kissed your cheek, “The flight won’t wait for us.”
No response as well.
“Oh, c’mon. You knew i had to wake you up early today.” He shook you by the shoulder, just enough that you stirred.
He thought that was a good sign, a really good one but then you grabbed the duvet and covered your head with it and he groaned in such annoyance.
He didn’t have the energy for this, not today. He was just as exhausted. He also needed a lot more sleep and his burning eyes were a constant reminder of that.
“Baby,” he practically shouted, “get up. Get up.” Charles repeated, then said your name so many times and he still got nothing.
He called for you again, leaning down above your sleeping figure now, “You have ten minutes to wake up. We can’t be late.” He tried to keep his voice gentle but he was struggling. He was in such a bad mood, it was astounding. He also wasn’t a fan of the time of the flight but what was he supposed to do?
Charles just kept trying and retrying to get you up until his patience had started wearing thin.
He grabbed the blanket and pulled it away from you, grabbed your hand and started tugging on it gently, cooing your name like that’s gonna help.
“Baby, please.” He was practically whining now, shoulders slouched as he struggled to maintain his composure.
“Fuck off.” Charles heard you mumble into the pillow. Usually that would be a sign of progress but today he took it personally for some reason.
“Great. Perfect even. I’ll just leave you here.” He let go off your hand and covered you back up before crossing the room and leaving it, heading into the main chamber of the suite.
“Je vais me perdre la tête dans cinq minutes.” I’m gonna lose it in five minutes. He was mumbling to himself as he paced back and forth, aware he couldn’t just leave you here. He wouldn’t do that, he loved you too much to be that cruel with you, so he found himself huffing and stumbling back into the room, preparing himself for another round of frustration, the time passing making his anxiety rise as it did.
Much to his surprise though, he walked in and was greeted with the sight of you sat in bed with a blank expression on your face, but hey! Your eyes were opened at least!
“Bonjour, bébé.” He said, his tone still tinged with the annoyance he had been feeling. He still attempted a smile nonetheless, but he was slightly scared of your expression.
“Fuck off, Leclerc.” You replied, gesturing for him to get out.
“Oh, ne fais pas ça!” Oh, don’t do this! He groaned and came closer, “Tu savais qu’on doit se lever tôt aujourd’hui, pour qu’on prenne le vol.” You knew that we’d have to wake up early today, to catch the flight. Charles attempted to remind you, now kneeling one knee on the mattress.
“Get out, i don’t wanna fight. And stop it with the baguettes again.” You curtly replied, not giving a single flying damn about logical reasoning for the time being.
“Baby, don’t be like this.” Charles pleaded.
“Charles, please. You act like you’re still getting to know me. Get out so i can get ready. Us talking means us fighting right now.” You stormed off the bed, “I’m up now, you can fuck off for a few minutes.”
The sentence ended with you disappearing into the adjoined bathroom, aggressively locking it behind you, leaving Charles to roll his eyes all alone by the bed while you repeatedly splashed cold water on your face. Yeah, Charles might be right, but it was too early for you to comprehend it all the same.
All the final preparations for the flight home were done in utter and tense silence, from getting dressed to organizing the carry ons and how you were gonna fit everything into them, dividing all the remaining possessions you had between your backpack and Charles. The communication in that concern was done through death glares and tossing things at each other from across the room.
“On a tout. Allons y.” We have everything. Let’s go. Charles said half an hour later, signaling you should get going now.
Coffee then flashed in your mind, the thought of going without it being torture. You can still make one in your travel mug before leaving, you figured so you left Charles tapping his foot on the floor by the door and disappeared back into the suite to get your caffeine dosage ready. Only then, you realized you had no idea where your travel mug was and you had no recollection of putting it away. Charles must’ve done that.
You sighed in frustration and called his name. Seconds later, he was by your side.
“My travel cup…” you mumbled, your voice still hoarse.
Smiling slightly, Charles stopped your search through the hotel cupboards, “Viens.” Follow me. He grabbed your hand and dragged you back to the entrance where the table by the door had your cup, your phone and your headphones.
“I made you your coffee, ‘cause i knew you were gonna be in a bad mood.”
With a snap of a finger, you started feeling guilty about how rude to him you were being when he was being this thoughtful. After all, he was just making sure you wouldn’t miss the only flight home available.
“C’mon.” He handed you your things and took care of the backpacks and suitcases himself before he opened the door and gestured for you to walk out in front of him.
You gulped as you took in his soft expression, the smile on his face being your enemy for once because it made you feel astronomically bad.
“Merci.” You murmured, cheeks heating up as you walked past him, giving the quickest and shiest of kisses on the cheek, making him grin and shake his head.
On the plane later, when he pulled your legs onto his lap, his thumb caressing your ankle as he assured you that you can go back to sleep, you slipped out the apology you felt like you owed him.
“I’m sorry…about earlier.” You said, looking down at your lap.
“T’inquiète pas.” Don’t worry. Charles reassured with a loving smile that slowly evolved into a chuckle, “I know you by now, i don’t take your morning insults seriously anymore. Ma princesse déteste les matins, je l’ai compris. T’en fais pas.” My princess hates mornings, i got it. Don’t worry. He said as a joke, one that was true to both your knowledges. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead as you blushed further.
“Je t’aime.” I love you. You mumbled to him in reassurance and reaffirmation before you gave him a brief kiss on the lips.
“I know, don’t worry. I love you too.” He pulled you to him, his arms around you as he hugged you back to sleep.
✰★✰
A heart attack and you’ll be the death of me:
Charles was so sure he had it covered.
As he tiptoed around the room in the faint dawn light, he was so sure he could go about his morning without disturbing you.
He woke up early as usual, at 5:30 sharp.
Strike one was his alarm waking you up, what earned him a quick death glare from you while you were mostly asleep, just peaking out from under the covers to give him that murderous morning look of yours while he fumbled around to get to his phone and silence it.
He smiled at you then; more like grimaced actually, then he slid out of bed and went straight into the bathroom, where he took a quick cold shower because “he’s a psychopath like that” as you described him. He just found it energizing on mornings where he had no motivation but a ton of things and trainings to accomplish throughout the day.
Dripping in water, he patted back into the room barefoot with a towel wrapped around his waist, whistling a tune stuck in his head, then stopping himself from doing that once his eyes met the sight of your sleeping figure, only for the messy symphony to resume mindlessly in a minute.
Part of your bedroom floor was hardwood while the remaining parts were porcelain, incredibly shiny porcelain that was a true hazard when wet, or when the person walking on it had bare feet and was leaving a trail of water behind him, but Charles never learned that. Charles himself was in fact the hazard at that point.
He continued the trajectory towards the wardrobe and drawers that had his clothes, in other words, the slippery part of the room, barefoot and leaving a trail of water to mark his trajectory, and the minute his foot met the shiny flooring, he was struggling to steady himself. In his own vocabulary, he had no grip. Softs in the pouring rain type of catastrophe.
Strike two was him using the duvet covering you for leverage.
His foot inevitably slipped and glided along the shiny flooring and down went Charles, grabbing onto the duvet covering you as if it was a solid that would sustain his weight while he collapsed, yanking it off the bed as he did.
He landed on the floor with a thud and widened eyes and the sheets fell on top of him.
Sleep wasn’t your main concern then, not when you bolted awake to find your boyfriend, in all his might, on the floor whining in pain.
Your heart skipped a beat as worry took over you, effectively waking you up within seconds.
“Fuck, are you okay? What happened?” You jumped up to him, crouching down by his side, your hand grabbing his as you attempted to help him up. Instead, he was dragging you down with him until he utilized his own strength to help you lift him off the floor. You tried hard no ignore the way he was still fumbling to keep himself covered as you helped him up, you tried really hard because if you didn’t you’d end up laughing and feeling bad later.
“Are you okay?” You asked worriedly as you sat him on the bed, visually inspecting his body for any bruises or injuries while your heart beat out of control.
“I’m okay.” He answered, rubbing over his back and wincing then adjusting his towel as if he just realized that he severely lacked of clothing.
“You’re sure?” You asked again and he nodded.
“How many times have a told you not to walk barefoot over here after showers, Charles?! You fucking scared me, you idiot.” The anger set in as the worry faded.
Time and time again, he almost slipped because of this, only this time he made actual contact with the floor instead of grabbing onto a dresser or something nearby. Time and time again, you’ve told him to watch out but here he was, frolicking around the bedroom with this wet feet with no cares in the world, not even for his safety.
“Okay, maman.” He got up and kissed you with a bit of an eye-roll, “You go back to sleep and i’ll get going in a bit.” He grinned.
“I will go back to sleep. Are you sure you’re okay, though?”
Smiling at the care peaking through your anger, he reassured you again.
“I’m sure, don’t worry.”
You took a once-over at him, scanning every part of him to make sure all was actually well, your breathing just starting to go back to normal as you did so, but worry still riddling your thoughts.
It wasn’t easy to wake up to the person you love collapsed on the floor. He scared you – for him- beyond words.
“Baby, i’m okay. I swear.” He chuckled and pulled you for a quick hug, interrupting your examination.
“Okay…” you yawned and made you way back to the bed, “If you feel anything wrong during the day, tell me so I can go with you to the doctor.” You mumbled to him just as you pulled the duvet back onto the bed, covering yourself up completely with it.
“I don’t think I will need that, but okay, mon coeur..”
You hummed back at him and he went back to getting dressed, wearing socks – Ferrari socks, and slippers this time.
His usual gym attire is what he went with, pulling on some shorts and a Puma shirt and trainers. He grabbed everything he needed out of the room so he wouldn’t have to disturb you again – phone, headphones, car keys, gym bag… - and he headed out into the kitchen to prepare himself a quick breakfast.
Charles stood in front of the fully stocked fridge, his hand on his waist as he scanned his options, a slight pain in his lower back distracting him.
The scene of the fall started playing in his mind and he couldn’t help laughing as he imagined how he must’ve looked like, loosing control over his steps and tumbling down the way he did.
Shaking his head with a smile on his face, he grabbed eggs out of the fridge, olive oil from the counter, salt and pepper from the drawer and a pan from the lower cabinet before he started the stove to make himself some scrambled eggs.
He couldn’t recall the first time he made eggs alone. In fact, he wasn’t quite sure where he learned how to make them since he had no recollection of anyone giving him a rundown on how it’s done, so how did he know how to scramble eggs?
What if he didn’t know and he just never messed up badly enough before? That is what he convinced himself of.
He never thought of the amount of oil he should use while making this. He never noticed how much time he let the oil heat up, nor how much it took for the eggs to cook. He never measured how much salt and pepper he seasoned them with.
Charles frowned as he watched the oil pour into the pan. How did that come naturally to him? Why did it come naturally if he was never taught how to do this?
The fall must’ve had some effect on him, he thought. There was no other explanation for these thoughts in his opinion.
With a quick shake of his head to come back to reality, he pushed those thoughts aside and figured he’d better focus on the task on hand.
He followed the stream of oil pouring out of the bottle in his hand and looked down to find the pan half full of oil.
Now, he wasn’t precise about the amount but he know for sure that this was way too much.
“Merde.” Shit. He sighed, his hands already working the stopper off the bottle of oil so he can pour the excess back in. He wasn’t thinking of the fact that this was probably gonna end up in a slippery mess. It did.
The stopper slipped out if his grip and flew across the kitchen. Half the unwanted oil ended up on the counter, dripping down onto the cabinets and onto the floor as he stood and watched, dumbfounded and annoyed.
“Tu me blague ou quoi?” Are you kidding me? He groaned in frustration, stomping over to the table in the corner to grab tissues to attempt cleaning this mess.
Charles distributed paper towels over the oil and left them to soak up the liquid while he went back to preparing breakfast, figuring he’ll just clean afterwards when he washes whatever dishes he ends up using. They’re not gonna run away, now are they?
He clicked the stove to life and watched the blue flames hide beneath the seriously well oiled pan.
Soon enough, the oil was making sizzling sounds and he started contemplating whether he should add the eggs now, not understanding why this felt so complicated today. Nonetheless, he grabbed the eggs and starting shifting his attention between them and the bubbling oil.
He scratched his head in contemplation as his eyes remained fixed on the stove, his arm supporting his slouching posture against the counter right by him, right where his mess resided. It seemed like he was waiting for some cue to tell him when he should do what, and so he went back to contemplating if he even knew how to do this.
It seemed like he took to much time to consider this and before he knew it, right before his widening, panicking eyes, a catastrophe ensued.
He didn’t know what to do and for a second all the years of reaction time training were all down the drain.
Charles stood still with wide frightened eyes that served as an artist’s palette on which the blue-green and the alarming orange started mixing. Alarms bells were ringing in his mind but he still stood motionless.
Charles watched as a huge flame erupted from the oil in the pan, casting a vibrant orange glow all over the kitchen, its warmth so close to his face making him quickly step back. He was repeatedly cursing under his breath as he tried figuring out what he was supposed to do. Every curse word in every language he knew took a turn and got used again and again and again until he started fumbling around the kitchen for a solution, just hoping and praying he wasn’t gonna burn the apartment down on a lovely Tuesday morning.
Luckily, Charles was just far enough to be unharmed but as the fire erupted, crackles escaped it and landed all over the kitchen, marking random objects with its signature.
In his panicked state, Charles didn’t have any recollection of oil-soaked paper towels that would be a huge fire hazard, especially when an open flame was raging mere inches away from them. He was too busy trying to get to the small emergency fire extinguisher he knew he had somewhere in the kitchen.
His hand was still trailing along the counter as he searched with fear through the lower cabinets and drawers for the red bottle. He kept searching as the fire spread on and as the tissues started burning as well and before he knew it, his hand on the edge of the countertop was feeling exceptionally warm.
He looked up quickly, but he wasn’t quick enough. The flames were spreading all over the marbly surface, dangerous close to him, right by his arms.
Quickly, he pulled back his hand but it was a second too late. He had burnt his hand and forearm and without him knowing it, a scream of pain left him mouth.
In the bedroom, you were still soundly asleep, not aware of the catastrophe your boyfriend was causing just in the room near where you were, unaware that he was at risk and that the whole apartment was at risk.
Under a thick layer of blankets, you were asleep like a baby, until you heard an alarmed scream and the clatter of metal, but the sound that made your heart drop wasn’t that. It was the distinct sound of a fire, a crackling that was faint but alarming enough that it was all you heard as you stumbled out of bed and out of the room, tripping over your feet, the few seconds it would take you to reach the origin of the sounds feeling like a damn eternity.
“Charles!” You called, a smell of smoke meeting your nose just as your eyes caught glimpse of how golden the light in the kitchen was, an orange light of a fire.
Your eyes widened and you mindlessly ran up to the door, slightly scared of what you might see once the space was in your line of sight.
You were just hoping and praying Charles was okay. Everything else could be managed.
“Charles”, you called for him again before you took a deep breath and ran into the kitchen. It felt like you blood was draining when you eyes caught sight of your boyfriend hunched down in front of the lower cabinets, the fire maybe a meter away from his hair as he nervously dug through the shelves, waving his left arm furiously through the air.
“Charles, what happened?” You ran up to him, pulling him farther from the flames.
His eyes, panicked as you’ve ever seen them, were still searching throughout the kitchen for a glimpse of red.
“Where’s the fire thing?” He practically shouted, asking about the extinguisher as he went on with his search.
With no further words spoken and both your hearts beating a million times per minute, you immediately went back to resolving things. Luckily, you knew the fire extinguisher was in the cabinet by the kitchen balcony door so you grabbed it and got to work, ending the fire just as the the oil-streaked cupboard door was starting to catch sparks.
Charles was panting and feeling lightheaded, the pain from the burn starting to make itself known, so as soon as he saw you had it covered, he allowed himself to fall onto the floor, dropping his back against the wall as he attempted to catch his breath.
Once you were sure the flame was put out for good, you dropped everything and allowed yourself to take a deep breath before the worry replaced the adrenaline high. You rushed to Charles’ side, hoping he hadn’t hurt himself.
He looked up at you as you crouched down in front of his, worried sick, the look in his face being one of pure fear.
“You’re okay?” You asked, exhilarated.
“I’m sorry, i’m so sorry. I don’t know how-“ he gasped for air, “-it happened.”
“Mon coeur, arrête. Show me your hand, I think you burnt it.”
Shakily, he lifted his arm into your line of sight and you had to wince at the sight.
“Oh, baby.” You started getting up, “I doesn’t look to good, Charles. I think you should get it checked out. Does it hurts?”
“Starting to…” he sounded out of breath.
“C’mon. Je t’amène à l’hôpital. You can get it treated in the ER.” I’ll take you to the hospital.
You knew he was in pain because he didn’t object like usual. He just nodded.
Fifteen minutes later, Charles was sat waiting for his turn, which they assured would be soon, and you were sat next to him, trying to distract him from whatever pain he might be feeling.
“Tu peux appeler maman? Dis lui de venir ici?” Can you call mon? Tell here to come here? He said after going silent for a few seconds, wincing as he did so.
You looked at him, wishing you could ease his pain immediately, “Oui, ne t’inquiètes pas.” Yes, don’t worry. You gave him a small smile that he tried weakly to return, “Et Andrea? Tu peux lui dire ce qui s’est passé? He’s probably waiting for me still.” And Andrea? Can you tell him what happened?
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”
You got up and made the calls, struggling to find a way to tell Pascale and Andrea what happened without scaring them to death, and you managed, all while keeping an eye on your boyfriend, watching him take deep breaths. Just as you put your phone away, he got called into the ER and before he went in, he gestured for you to come along, using his good hand to do do, waiting until you joined his side and intertwined your fingers with his to follow the nurse.
Around noon, after Charles had been given painkillers and had gotten his arm and hand wrapped in gauze, you sat with him in your bedroom, the door to the kitchen closed to hide the mess neither of you wanted to acknowledge just yet.
A movie was playing on the screen of your laptop sat on top of your legs while Charles rested his head on your shoulder.
Neither of you were speaking or saying anything, the chaos from earlier being enough noise for a good while.
“Sorry I woke you up so early.” Charles whispered to you.
“Charles, shut up. Imagine me caring about sleep in this situation.” You softly kissed his forehead, “You could’ve gotten yourself killed.” You practically whispered, genuinely overwhelmed by the thought.
He sighed heavily and snuggled his face into your neck, “Je sais vraiment pas qu’est-ce qui s’est passé.” I really don’t know what happened.
“We all have bad days, this one was just extra bad. I’m just glad you’re safe.” You tried reassuring, moving around so you were hugging him, keeping his injured limb in mind.
Charles, feeling down and upset, stayed silent and snuggled up to you, “My superwoman…” He softly and innocently kissed your jaw, “Tu nous a sauvé, toi. Je n’avais aucune idée c’était où l’extincteur.” You saved us. I had no idea where the extinguisher was.
You smiled softly and trailed your hand through his hair, “I was so scared for you, mon coeur. You gave me a heart attack today- twice.” You chuckled, threading your fingers gently through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead and giving him a small kiss there, “You’ll most definitely be the death of me, Leclerc.”
Charles giggled just a bit before mumbling a small “Désolé” sorry against your skin and falling into comfortable silence.
“Two weeks without racing though…” You thought out loud a minute later and felt him let out a whine of annoyance against your neck, the sound slowly turning into the softest of laughs ever, his chest shaking against yours.
Obviously, this situation wasn’t pleasant and this morning would for sure be a bad memory, but he was okay and that was all you could ask for after such a scare.
a/n: manifesting and praying that last situation never happens to him
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lassieposting · 6 months
Text
Concept:
Post-tadpole, Tav offers to help Astarion find a way to walk in the sun again, and she starts by going to different libraries and repositories and archives around the city to look for books that might be relevant. Astarion, obviously, has to stay in the rental room with the shutters closed during the daytime, so he can't come with her.
At some point, this takes her up to the posh part of the city, where the fancy ✨ scholarly ✨ archive is. She remembers most of the walk - it's not too far from the graveyard Astarion took her to, in the neighbourhood where he once used to live.
And like, it's never actually occurred to her that he could still have Actual Blood Relatives still living? It's not a topic she's ever thought to raise with him. But she has to sign in and out of the archive, and she just happens to notice the name three or four lines above hers: an initial and a surname she recognises.
Ancunín.
The same name from Astarion's gravestone.
A parent? A sibling?
A niece or nephew Astarion has never even met?
Thus begins a secondary quest of trying to reunite a broken family. Astarion is willing enough to talk about the few memories he still has of the thirty-nine years he had with his family before turning - a drop in the ocean compared to the 200 years spent suffering under Cazador - but he shuts down when she nudges him towards the likelihood that Mr & Mrs Ancunín are still alive. He retreats back behind the selfish, catty survivalist he was when she first met him and claims he has no interest in ever reconnecting. The pain in every clipped syllable says drop it, so she does.
But then he asks her, very quietly, several days later, what the initial was. He doesn't really react when she tells him - there's no obvious recognition, and he doesn't ask any follow-up questions or try to discuss it further. He just goes back to his book. She watches him out of the corner of her eye though, as she skim-reads her own giant tome of magical artifacts. A very long time goes by before she sees him turn a page.
For a good long while, the family issue gets put firmly on the back burner. They have other shit going on. Sometimes, it's following promising leads on a possible workaround for Astarion's sunlight allergy. Other times, it's the kind of ugly, ragged-edged breakdown that so often follows a period of relative safety and stability after a major trauma. He's been running in survival mode for two centuries, and now he's finally starting to feel secure enough for the rest of his mind to come back online, and all the trauma he couldn't handle at the time, all the pain and fear and tangled emotions survival mode was protecting him from, is catching up to him. During those sporadic episodes, trying to keep him from falling apart is her top priority and, well, time gets away from them and by the time he brings up his parents again, months or more have gone by, and they have a fairly good idea of what artifact of daywalking they need to find.
By the time it comes to actually meeting with them, still more months have passed, and they have already found it.
It's horrible, and heartwarming, and heartbreaking, and healing, and hurting, and so many other conflicting things that for a while - a long while - Tav doesn't know whether she actually did the right thing encouraging him to reach out to long-lost loved ones. It's a mess of moments that makes her heart ache for a dozen reasons. She finds out that Astarion looks most like his mother, but has his father's nose. She holds him for hours while he shakes and sobs into her shoulder because they never even left the city, they were here the whole time, and they never found him - and he's so angry and full of grief he doesn't know what to do with himself. She accompanies him to the home he was raised in, and the once-familiar surroundings jog memories he thought lost for good - he's glassy-eyed, recounting them to her, but she's fairly sure it's the good kind of glassy-eyed, so she doesn't mention it. She tries to make conversation at family dinner while he stares at his hands in his lap, dissociated, looking even more uncomfortable than she feels, utterly lost in a world that once fit him like a glove. There are a lot of feelings to try and mediate. They are all hurt, all damaged, all afraid, all looking for the ghost of a loved one in the face of a stranger.
But, eventually, there is a day where she overhears Astarion having a conversation with his father, and he sounds like himself - not the persona he puts on in public - and his father laughs at something he says in a way that's entertained rather than awkward. There is a day where his mother reaches out and he doesn't shake his head or step away - he lets her hug him goodbye. They have not slipped back into the graves they crawled out of in each other's lives - they are all very different people now - but they are learning new ways to fit together, and he seems to be pleased about it.
So she thinks, yeah, it was worth it.
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Every so often I see this YT short that's like "what's a not-so-well-known fact" and every single time it includes "mummies weren't rare until the Victorians started eating them" and this quote it drives me insane.
I need you all to know that when the Victorians first entered Khufu's tomb at Giza, Khufu was not in there. Grave robbers had already removed his mummy and destroyed it. Additionally during Khufu's lifetime we have scribe records that his father's tomb had been looted, and by the time the palace guards had apprehended the grave robbers, they had already destroyed the body. These reports are all over records in Ancient Egypt.
The Ancient Egyptian process of mummification is extremely effective at preserving a body, but it also makes the body extremely brittle and fragile. Additionally, part of the process of wrapping the mummy in linen included adding talismans-often made of gold and semi-precious stones-between the lines of the bandages.
Also I just need to note: remains classified and recognizable as Egyptian mummies aren't all that rare for a selection of remains predominantly accessible by the upper classes. Many of Egypt's remaining mummies are back in their tombs where they go, and most of the rest are on display across the world.
Twenty-one museums in the United States have Egyptian mummies on display, thirty-seven museums in the United Kingdom do, many of those museums have multiple mummies on display. The Royal Ontario museum has nine mummies in its collection. The Wikipedia page documenting the list of museums with Egyptian mummies in their collection notates 46 prominent mummies, none of the ones noted belong to the British Museum, which has a collection of 140 mummies and coffins.
Victorians eating mummies didn't magically make them rare, you just can't see most of them because they were either destroyed before Victorians even came to Egypt, are on display in a museum you've never been to, or they were already re-interred.
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blueicequeen19 · 9 months
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Charter ch. 3
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Warnings: banter, toxicity, oral, protected sex, dirty talk, age gap, talk of drug use & addiction
Why did I always fucking do this? Why did I always get involved with the girls with the big fucking mouths? Sure she had a heart of gold and a laugh that had me dying to hear it at any moment and her body.. fuck. Plus she’s my employee and five years fucking younger than me.
I remember how stupid I was at her age. How I got someone pregnant from a one night stand. How she led me to believe it wasn’t mine even after the baby came out looking just fucking like me.
My gut churned at the thought of the worst nine months of my life. The not knowing. How I let her mother use me for money over and over again only to find out that she was doing drugs. It took months in the NICU on the mainland before Summer got to come home and another year to prove that her mother was unfit. Court systems tend to do everything they can to keep children with their mothers even with plenty of evidence against them.
How was I supposed to let someone else into Summer’s life when her own mother failed her? I refused to let it happen again. That’s why I didn’t date. That’s why my father didn’t know her. I knew a thing or two about absent parents and I wasn’t about to let it hurt my daughter the way it had me. She deserved happiness and that was all I was going to give her.
The Charter is closed on Sundays and Mondays so that gave me two full days with my girl. Those are always my favorite days. We spend it at the beach, at the Chateau, at the Wreck, and wherever else we can get into. All while singing every Disney song she’s ever heard.
When Tuesday rolled around, I was anxious. I wanted to see Y/N again but I couldn’t let it be known that there was anything between us to anyone else. People will take anything and run with it and I didn’t need Summer’s mother finding any ammunition against me. But seeing Y/N bent over at the counter, flipping through our supply magazine had me stiffening in my shorts. I wanted to take her right then and there.
Her eyes darted up at the sound of the bell from the door being opened but she quickly glanced away when she realized it was just me. I did a quick scan of the shelves to make sure no one else was in the store before stopping in front of her. She didn’t look up as she flipped the page.
“Do I pay you to read on the clock?”
“Yep. And you fuck me on it too.”
She didn’t look up at me and I was glad because I had to wipe the stupid grin off my face. I hated how hot she was when she was mad.
“Would you rather me make you clock out?”
“For thirty seconds? It wouldn’t be worth it.” She didn’t miss a fucking beat and I didn’t bother to stifle my laughter.
“It’s at least forty-five seconds.”
Silence.
Fine.
“Truck came today.” I change the subject to work and she nods.
“Yep and I put 90% of it away already. The rest is too heavy for me to put on the racks.” Which was fine. I did that part anyway.
“Have we been busy?”
“Check the register.”
“Y/N.”
“JJ.”
I sighed, pulling out my phone and going to my pictures. I turned my phone to face her, letting her see the picture I’d taken of Summer and I yesterday. Her blonde curls hung around her face in a happy smile, looking every bit my twin. She was in her pink princess dress and I was in my pink shirt. Her favorite shirt that I had to wear so we matched. Y/N’s eyes darted to my phone and she couldn’t fight off her beaming smile. Seconds passed before she straightened and took my phone. I let her flip through the pictures, mostly all Summer and me.
“She looks just like you.” Y/N cooed, pinching her fingers as she zoomed in. I wasn’t sure how far back she’d gotten in the albums but I could probably guess when her face fell.
“She was so tiny.” She whispered, no doubt looking at the picture of Summer in the NICU hooked up to wires and machines.
“She was nine weeks early.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, holding out my hand for my phone back. Her glassy eyes met mine and I knew she was fighting back tears as she handed me my phone back.
“What’s her name?”
“Summer Rain Maybank.”
The shop bell went off and the conversation ended. Back to work we went.
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I couldn’t tear my eyes off her tonight. Usually she was the one always watching me. My blood always ran hotter knowing she couldn’t take her eyes off me. Why did she think I wore these cutoffs everyday? I liked that she was constantly checking out my body and I wanted her to. Now she could hardly stand to glance in my direction. If this was a game of hard to get, she was fucking winning.
“I brought extra shrimp and grits if you want some.” I called around break time and she just waved me off.
“You can go ahead and head out if you want. I can close up.” I offered, thinking maybe she’d want to get home an hour or two earlier but she just shrugged and continued stocking shelves.
“How’s your dog?” I asked at one point and she grumbled a “fine” in response. I’d just about fucking had it when the sun was setting and we were going through our closing routine. I not so gently put the cash drawer down and stalked towards her as she made her way to the work bench. She didn’t see me coming, wasn’t even paying attention, until I fisted her shirt and yanked her against me. Her eyes widen in surprise for a moment before they narrowed to a glare.
“Out with it. You want me to apologize? Fine. I’m sorry. You want me to fuck you until you can’t walk to show you how sorry I am? Fine. But you will acknowledge me. You will look at me. You will say more than two words to me.” I bit out, my body shaking with something I didn’t quite recognize. My cock was so hard I could hardly breathe as those defiant eyes stared back up at me. She pressed her tits against my chest, her fingers hooking in my belt loops as she leaned in, her breath hitting my mouth.
“Or. What.”
I tore her shirt down the middle making her gasp in surprise before shoving her back against the work bench and ducking my head to suck her pierced nipple in my mouth.
“Oh god.” She moaned, yanking on my hair as she bowed over the work bench. I grabbed her ass with both hands after ripping her bra off next and throwing it behind me, her nipples at my mercy. When she was trembling and crying out, I pulled away and flipped her so she was face down on the work bench. I slapped her ass hard before yanking her shorts and panties down.
“You fucking caveman.” She bit out, arching her ass out for me anyway as I kneeled behind her.
“It’s your fault.” I snapped before burying my face in her dripping pussy. She cried out, lifting one leg up onto the work bench to give me better access. I licked and sucked like my life depended on it. She was moaning like crazy and trembling, her hand reached back to fist my hair. When I plunged my tongue deep inside her she all but screamed as she came on my tongue. I didn’t stop until she was whimpering and as I rose to my feet, she spun around and pushed me to sit at the desk chair.
I nearly came right there just from the pure hunger in her eyes as she tore open my shorts and freed my cock. I dug a condom from my pocket and she ripped it open with her teeth before rolling it on.
“I’m still mad at you.” She bit out, straddling my waist and positioning me at her entrance.
“That doesn’t go away.” I start to smirk but she sinks down on my cock and I throw my head back with a groan, her hands fisting my shirt as she starts to ride me.
My hands find her hips as I thrust up into her, hitting so deep our eyes nearly cross.
“God, it’s too deep.” She whines breathlessly, her lashes fluttering with every bounce of her hips.
“I can get deeper.” I taunt, lifting her in my arms and putting her back on the desk. Her legs find my shoulders then I’m fucking her like my life depends on it. My hips keep hitting the desk but I’m too fucking close to care. Her cries pierce my ears as she grips her own tits, pinching the piercing nipples as I tighten my grip on her waist. I move one hand to her stomach and push down, her entire body tightening as she bows off the desk with a choked scream.
I came right along with her, filling up the condom until I’m wrung dry and panting. I have to carefully pull out so she doesn’t rip the condom off inside her with the way she’s still clamped down. I can’t take my eyes off the way her body is shuddering as she comes down. Her flushed body and her raspy breathing. Her hard nipples begging for my mouth again. This girl was going to get me in trouble.
“I need more.” She whispers, finally opening her eyes to look at me. I smirk after throwing away the condom and fixing my shorts. I run my hands up her thighs and she shakes harder, her eyes pleading.
“Greedy.” My fingers glide over her glistening swollen clit making her jerk and whimper with need.
“That’s what happens when you piss me off. I need a way to release that pent up aggression.” She breathes, her hips bucking with every feather like touch to her clit.
“So I take it you don’t want me to be gentle when I finger fuck you?” My voice is lower and hungry as I tease her entrance with my finger. She growls in warning.
“No. Never.” She breathes, palming her gorgeous tits again.
“You don’t want me to ease in slowly as I fill you?” I murmur as I do just that, sliding two fingers inside her desperate cunt and she moans low and long.
“No.” She pants. I smirk as I start to pump my fingers slowly, too slowly for my own liking. I curl my fingers to find her G-spot and her eyes pop open, her hand reaching for me.
“Oh god.”
“You don’t like when I do that?” She only whimpers. I chuckle darkly as I give her what she wants. We don’t leave until she’s dripping on the floor and I’ve fucked her again.
We walk out together as usual, only she’s wearing a shirt from the shop instead of her own, a small smile on her face as she twirls her keys around her fingers. It’s not until we’re half way across the street that I stop dead in my tracks as I take in who’s leaning against my truck.
“How’s my daughter, JJ?” She calls, my good mood instantly fucking gone.
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forgottenfourr · 10 months
Text
i saw you in a dream - university smau
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pairing: non idol!jeongin x gn!reader
summary: it is said that whenever you see someone in your dreams, whether you recognize them or not, it’s someone you’ve seen before in real life. most people don’t question the strangers that dance around in their minds as they’re fast asleep. normally, you wouldn’t give it a second thought either. but when the same stranger keeps appearing every night, each dream being another place you never want to leave. you can’t help but wonder who the person is and why they have suddenly planted themselves into your mind.
genre: strangers to lovers
characters: yn, all members of stray kids, beomgyu from txt, keeho from piwon, soul from piwon, & mingyu from svt
!! all individuals used in the story are characters based off of how i perceive/write them. what they say here in no way reflects who they are irl. they are simply just words on a page. !!
tw: angst, suggestive(?), a lot of swearing, jokes about death/die jokes, bullying (jokingly), brief mentions of dissociation, insomnia, anxiety, and depression
a/n: i'm not new to writing and especially writing smaus but this is the first time i have posted one on tumblr! all previous stories have been on twitter and ao3. i hope you enjoy :)
status: completed!!
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the groups: haters at heart , sane people + binnie
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index:
chapter one - shut up
chapter two - blue hair boy
chapter three - i think i know
chapter four - tomorrow at 4
chapter five - dreams✏️
2 new characters!! - character update/refresh post :)
chapter six - aftermath
chapter seven - ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
chapter eight - a break in trust
chapter nine - gone.✏️
chapter ten - selfish
chapter eleven - not off the hook✏️
chapter twelve - wtf
chapter thirteen - coincidence
chapter fourteen - impossible✏️
chapter fifteen - noted
chapter sixteen - you?
chapter seventeen - not a game
chapter eighteen - you're insane
chapter nineteen - a bad(?) idea
chapter twenty - ticking time bomb✏️ (mini chapter)
chapter twenty one - so what's the plan?✏️
chapter twenty two - and you are?✏️
chapter twenty three - ominous texter
chapter twenty four - none of your business
chapter twenty five - no big deal✏️
chapter twenty six - ♡
chapter twenty seven - two idiots
chapter twenty eight - how they see it✏️
chapter twenty nine - forgotten key
chapter thirty - always welcome✏️
chapter thirty one - what are we?
chapter thirty two - partners
chapter thirty three - be okay✏️
chapter thirty four - fuck it.
chapter thirty five - can we talk?
chapter thirty six - pink innie
chapter thirty seven - kitchen light
chapter thirty eight - you're an asshole, choi beomgyu✏️
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tag list [closed]
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rosewind2007 · 6 months
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Okay! So System Collapse is now published!!!
Whoohoo!
I’m clearly most excited by how Murderbot is dealing with the emotional repercussions of Network Effect, and of course [redacted], but I’m also utterly thrilled to present the updated Fuck Density Data!
I’ve been tracking the density of the word fuck since I noticed the word’s use increase as the series progressed, three (3) in All Systems Red, nine (9) in Artificial Condition and most recently thirty seven (37) in Fugitive Telemetry (order of publication)
I graphed it:
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As you can see I boldly made a linear and an exponential prediction of the density of System Collapse (I was pretty sure it was approaching exponential, though some mathematicians I know suggested the linear was equally likely—I dunno, it was my gut feeling was that it was exponential)
SO: the data is in…
And…
At approximately 62500 words and ninety (90) fucks the density is actually 144! A gross!
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This is, indeed far closer to the predicted exponential of 160…(to get 160 there would have needed to be 100 fucks, such neat number!)
Amazingly this means that if the next book is the length of Network Effect, and the rate of increase continues the next book would have 250 fucks! (Which seems unlikely, but frankly 90 fucks seemed a lot for a novel this length too—so, I live in thrilled anticipation) 250 fucks would be a fuck almost every other page (maths is similar for All Systems Red)
Currently we have 90 fucks, over 256 pages which works out as over one every three pages…
I think—corrections welcomed, I am delighted to rework graphs etc.
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daddyhausen · 8 months
Text
• kinktober list — 2023/2024 •
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
day one : innocence kink — blackpool combat club — { jon moxley, wheeler yuta, claudio castagnoli }
day two : primal play — damian priest
day three : sundress — cash wheeler
day four : ddlg — trent beretta
day five : mommy kink — kris statlander
day six : forced orgasms — chuck taylor
day seven : love bites — orange cassidy
day eight : breast / nipple torture — angelo parker
day nine : free use — roman reigns
day ten : service / maid play — hook
day eleven : thigh fucking — kenny omega
day twelve : caught masturbating — la knight
day thirteen : power play — britt baker + adam cole
day fourteen : gags — alex reynolds
day fifteen : abduction — brody king
day sixteen : double vaginal penetration — the young bucks
day seventeen : marking — wardlow
day eighteen : jerk off instructions — kip sabian + penelope ford
day nineteen : riding — hangman adam page
day twenty : masochism — swerve strickland
day twenty one : sex cult — malakai black
day twenty two : stigmatophilia { piercing / tattoo kink } — rhea ripley
day twenty three : helplessness — solo sikoa
day twenty four : pegging — jungle boy
day twenty five : stomach bulges { size kink } — jey uso
day twenty six : missionary — tony d’angelo
day twenty seven : strip club — ricky starks
day twenty eight : pussy slapping — eddie kingston
day twenty nine : wet dreams — mjf
day thirty : lipstick { blowjobs } — mark davis
day thirty one : office / workplace sex — cody rhodes
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
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thefallennightmare · 5 months
Text
Just Pretend-nine
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*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*
Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader
Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.
Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.
Authors Note: PLEASE, we are begging you guys. Take your time with this one, so many different emotions throughout. Its a big fucking deal and read it slow, immerse yourself in this world while listening to the playlist. Enjoy my lovelies. 😉
Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)
Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond
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NOAH
"I'm so fucking glad we're staying in a hotel the next few days," Folio groaned as we walked down the long hallway of the hotel.
I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe the tour is almost over; our last show is tomorrow night."
With our last show tomorrow night, we were spending the next few nights in a hotel and we all planned to take flights back home so we could get there faster. Hollow Souls were also staying in this hotel but they were a floor beneath us but it seemed the farther I went from Y/N, those imaginary pull strings inside of my heart tightened. If it hurt this bad when she was a floor underneath, how bad would it hurt when she was a state away?
As far as I knew, she still had plans to go back to Vegas because that's where her home was, granted it was with Trey. There wasn't a part of me that was worried she would go back to him; I knew she wouldn't. Ever since they fired him, Hollow Souls has been thriving. They posted on their social media pages that Trey was kicked out of the band due to personal reasons and while most of their fans complained about them kicking out their main vocalist, there was a select few that were excited to see what the future of Hollow Souls looked like.
Y/N was upset at first that so many of their fans were boycotting them now because they decided to kick Trey out.
"Seems like they only care about Trey's vocals when I'm the one that actually wrote our songs."
It took a while of Malcolm and Chase talking to her to realize that their future together as a band was looking bright. They could reinvent themselves.
I filled in for the last two shows but after playing my set for thirty minutes before their hour-and-a-half set, my voice was getting raw and sore so Matt thought it be best if I didn't fill in for the last show. I was going to argue, not wanting to let them down, but Chase reassured me they'd figure out what to do for the last show.
Y/N has been glowing since Trey left, slowly becoming a better woman in front of all of us; to me, she'd always been perfect. But we could all see her confidence growing. With her face in the dirt far too many times with Trey, she finally said enough; it doesn't hurt anymore. As all of his lies crumbled down, Y/N found a new life.
To say all of us were proud of her was a fucking understatement.
"Hey," Jolly bumped shoulders with mine, pulling me from my thoughts as we stopped in front of the door to his room. "Bryan wants us ready to go in twenty minutes."
Oh, right.
We were currently in Oregon and Bryan planned some time today on our off day to visit one of the national parks here to take some promo photos of us.
"Yeah, I'll be ready to go. I need to change quickly and I'll meet you guys down in the lobby," I said as I walked down a few more doors until I stopped in front of my room; the one I was sharing with Nick.
He patted my shoulder as he walked past me into the room. "You should ask if Y/N wants to come with."
I shrugged off his words, trying not to make it seem that I'd been tossing around the idea for the last hour when Bryan first told us about his plan.
"She might have plans with Chase and Malcolm," I said while tossing my suitcase onto the bed, quickly rifling through the clothes to find something to change into.
"She doesn't. Last I heard, Chase and Malcolm are going out tonight so Y/N will be alone," Nick raised a suggestive brow.
With a long sigh, I turned to face him. "You already planned this, didn't you?"
"It was Chase's idea," he answered.
Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Y/N.
Get dressed, I'll be by your room in fifteen minutes.
She responded quickly before I had the chance to set my phone down.
Care to tell me where we're going?
All you need to know is to dress warm, angel.
You're full of surprises. See you soon, mochi. Room 245.
"Mochi?" I chuckled to myself while pocking my phone.
With a smile playing at my lips and my heart pounding loudly in my heart at the nickname, I tossed on a fresh hoodie and my tan jacket, opting to leave my hair down. Nick finished getting dressed when I did and once we stepped out in the hallway, Jolly and Folio were already waiting for us right outside our door.
"Fuck," I cursed while clutching my chest. "You scared the shit out of me, Folio."
"Too busy thinking about Y/N, huh?" He gave a playful smile.
Shoving him on the shoulder, I mentioned we needed to stop by her room before heading down to the lobby.
Jolly adjusted the guitar bag on his back. "She's coming with?"
I hesitantly nodded. "Is that alright? Nick said she was alone, and I felt bad if we left her while we did something."
They all smirked at my rambling as we took the stairs down one floor, our footsteps echoing in the small confined space.
"Of course it is, we don't mind when she tags along," Jolly said.
Coming to a stop in front of door 245, I gently rapped my knuckles against it and waited for her petite voice to carry through the wood. It was silent for a few moments, nerves ate away at my stomach as I wondered why she wasn't answering yet.
I knocked once again, this time with a bit more force, and breathed a little when a loud curse sounded from the other side.
"Hang on, someone's at the door."
I looked over to Nick with a raised brow, and he merely shrugged. "Chase and Malcolm are gone so I don't know who she's talking to."
The door opened with a quick brush of air, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. Y/N was dressed in a pair of black tights, and a deep orange sweater that rested to the middle of her thighs, and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. I had to resist the urge to wrap my fingers through it to pull her back to me as she turned back into the room.
"Give me two minutes, I have to get my shoes," She said while clutching her phone to her ear. "No, Dad. Not you. I've got plenty of time to talk."
While the rest of the guys hung out in the hallway, I leaned against the wall right next to her bed and watched her as she slipped on her typical Doc Martin, nodding every so often to something her dad was saying on the other end of the phone.
"Dad, you seem to forget that you're seventeen hours ahead of me right now," she laughed causing my heart to flutter. "It's only noon here. Wait, why are you calling me so early? Isn't it your day off?"
She paced around the room looking for something and realizing what it was; I grabbed her bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I got it."
Y/N smiled her thanks before the conversation with her dad took her attention again. "No, I haven't talked to Mom in a while…. well, the last time she tried to guilt trip me into staying with her when the tour was over…I'm not staying at Trey's place anymore. We broke up.…..yea, long time coming, tell me about it….I'm sure I'll figure it out but I'm not staying in Vegas anymore…..hell yes I'm keeping Salem; asshole doesn't do shit for my cat."
I couldn't ignore the way my stomach flipped hearing that she didn't plan on staying in the same state as Trey.
"I can't move in with Malcolm or Chase because they're actually finding their own place together…Dad, they're dating; have been for the last six months…Yeah, that will explain exactly why Chase and I never got together."
I chuckled as I thought of her dad trying to set up her and Chase.
"You saw videos from the show last night?" There was a clear shock in her voice as she continued to talk with her dad as she rushed around the room getting ready.
"I'm surprised because you don't even know how to work face time," she giggled. "Oh, he's a friend of ours. We've been touring with his band for the last few weeks. Yeah, he filled in the last couple of shows….you think so? That's what everyone is saying online."
Her gaze flicked up to mine as her lips parted slightly, whatever her dad said made her give a long pause.
"Just a friend, dad." Then she turned swiftly on her heels away from me to whisper something low into the phone.
"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me with a pulled expression as she looked over her shoulder..
I waved her off. "Take your time."
"Dad, you know I miss you but I can't move to Japan; not now. But yes, I promise to visit you as soon as I can."
Eventually, after another minute, she said goodbye before hanging up with an audible groan. "Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he forgets we talk almost every other day. He wants a play-by-play of my life every time."
"He wants you to visit?" I questioned.
She nodded while slipping into a jacket. "Yeah but its hard to find time. You need more than a weekend to visit Japan; there's so much to do."
"Yeah," I pushed her hand away when she went to reach for her bag. "I've got it."
"Noah, you don't have to carry my bag," she chuckled.
I shrugged. "I don't mind. Ready?"
"Yep," she smiled that heart-stopping smile.
When she walked past me towards the open door, my fingers grazed the inside of her wrist to stop her.
"Mochi?" I asked.
"Yes," she responded immediately. "Because you're the sweetest and your tummy is soft."
She poked her finger into my stomach before letting out a loud shriek of laughter as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her into my embrace, the both of us walking to the doorway where the guys were waiting.
"Malcolm and Chase are going to meet us once they're finished with their date," Y/N said.
"I'll text them the address," Nick said while pulling out his phone.
"Where are we headed?"
"The mountains," Folio answered with a smile.
"Ooh," she slipped out of my embrace, much to my dismay, to rummage around her suitcase for a book before she came back to me, lifting my arm and throwing it over her shoulder once again. "Now I'm ready."
Resisting the urge to press a kiss to her forehead, I set my sunglasses over my eyes and pulled her along with me as she let the door close behind us and ignored the smug look Nick threw my way as we walked past him; Y/N wrapping an arm around my back.
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NOAH
"Can you believe how many people are calling for us to collaborate? It's all over Twitter," Nick said while browsing on his phone.
"Shit, really?" Y/N peered over from the back seat so she could gaze down at Nick's phone, who sat in front of her.
I was driving the van to the location that Bryan chose for our photo shoot but Folio called shotgun before she could which earned a cute little pout on her lips; lips that I wanted so bad to taste once again. So she sat in the far back with Jolly while Nick and Bryan sat in the middle. It was weird not having Chase or Malcolm with us since we did everything together on our off days.
"What are they saying?" I wondered while keeping my eyes on the road.
"Fans want you to feature on Hollow Souls next album," Y/N grinned as our eyes locked in the rearview mirror for a few seconds.
I hummed while pulling the van to a stop at the park's entrance. "I'm around whenever you need me, angel."
Once we all piled out, I met Jolly and Bryan at the back of the van to help them unload the equipment while Y/N chatted quietly with both of the Nicks, and out of the corner of my eye; I marveled at how goddess-like she looked with the afternoon sun casting her with her own aura glow. Jolly caught me staring because he smacked my chest before handing me the guitar he brought.
"You could ask her out, ya know," Bryan smirked.
I snapped my gaze over to him. "I can't."
"Why not? It's clear she feels the same since she's here right now," he said.
A long sigh fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my face. "It's not that easy, guys."
Bryan rolled his eyes and then hung his camera from his neck. "I mean you've already kissed, how much easier could things be between you two?"
"You told him?" I seethed at Jolly, who held up his hands.
"I didn't say anything. You two give it away with all the romantic googly-eye shit," he chuckled while he and Bryan began walking up the long trail toward the top of the mountain where we planned on taking the pictures.
"Hey," Y/N smiled as she bounded up next to me. "Little photo shoot?"
Immediately the scowl that followed Byran and Jolly turned into a warm smile, matching Y/N's, and I nodded. We began walking step in step, hands brushing against each other every so often, and I nearly linked fingers with her more than once. However, when we reached some rocky terrain while walking up a hill, Y/N cursed herself for not wearing smarter shoes.
"Here," I bent low in front of her and patted to my back.
"No, you're not carrying me," she tried to laugh it off, but I knew she was nervous about me carrying her weight on my back.
"Angel."
I peered over my shoulder in time to see her place her hands low on her hips.
"Mochi," she teased back with a small smirk.
My heart skipped a long beat at hearing the nickname again. It sounded so fucking sweet falling from her lips; almost as much as my actual name sounded.
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," I said, still bent low at my knees.
Y/N pulled at the bottom of her sweater dress. "I don't want to give these bozos a show."
She threw a thumb over her shoulder towards both Nick's who walked a few paces behind her. I rose to my knees and gave her a suggestive smirk while closing the distance between us.
"What color are they?"
"Uh," Y/N stammered but quickly recovered. "A cute olive green. Looks great against my skin tone."
A low noise vibrated in the back of my throat and I stood straighter as Folio walked passed just in time to feel the growing sexual tension.
"Either you hop on his back or I will," he joked as he and Nick walked passed us.
She stared up at me and slowly licked her lips, an action I watched carefully through my sunglasses. "Noah?"
"Yes, angel?"
"You have a cute nose," her voice was quiet, and I thought I misheard her.
I titled my head to the side. "My nose?"
"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," she finished with a boop to my nose.
I scrunched up my face. "Did-did you just boop my nose?"
"See!" She pointed to my face. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."
"Angel, literally," I breathed a low chuckle.
"Mochi, literally," she mocked while sticking her tongue out.
My fingers itched to grab it but Bryan's loud voice echoed through the trees from far ahead. "Let's go you losers! You're holding us up."
I swear to-.
"What will it be, angel?" I asked.
Y/N dramatically sighed before motioning for me to spin around, which I did with a quick wink.
"If you drop me, I swear to Hades," She grumbled while adjusting her dress.
The warmth radiated from her in giant waves as her legs wrapped around my sides and I hooked my arms underneath her thighs to hoist her up.
"I swear to Hades that I will not drop you," I promised while walking up the steep hill towards the rest of the guys. "Do you actually pray to the Greek Gods?"
She flicked my ear. "No, silly. I just like to joke around with them. They're my favorite mythology."
"Will you teach me about them?
"I'm honored you asked; I'd love to," she ran her fingers through my long hair and I briefly let my eyes flutter shut at the calming feeling.
"Only if you let me braid your hair."
My eyes snapped open. "Uh, we'll see about that."
She flicked my ear again. "You're no fun."
Hooking her tighter against me, I closed the distance between us and the guys in a few long strides. Nick gave the two of us a look as I set Y/N down gently on her feet, she quickly pulling down her dress.
"You didn't see shit," she pointed a firm finger to all of us.
"Nope."
"Nothing."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bryan held up his camera and snapped a few pictures of Y/N; who in return, flipped him the finger.
I watched with a racing heart as she messed around with the guys, almost as if she'd been part of our little group for years.
"Alright," Y/N pulled the book out of her bag. "I'll let you guys do your thing. If you need me, I'll be reading over there."
She pointed to the edge of the mountain that looked over the small lake we drove past to get here.
"Be careful, angel," I warned.
"I'll be fine," Y/N rolled her eyes but as she turned, she tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit before standing straight.
I raised a teasing brow at her while crossing my arms over my chest. "What was that?"
"Fuck you," she taunted with her middle finger.
Don't tempt me, angel.
The next hour passed in a blur as we took countless pictures, just having a fun, relaxing time. Every so often, my gaze would fall onto Y/N as she leaned up against a large willow tree, book perched in her lap. The wind blew through her ponytail every so often and I marveled at how fucking breathtaking she looked when her face would scrunch in surprise with whatever she was reading.
I knew from the moment I stepped off our bus the first day of the tour when I saw her standing amongst the group; when we first met. It wasn't the typical love at first sight bullshit Folio talks about that happens in the movies. It was more like a familiarity, almost like 'oh, hello. It's you. It's always going to be you.'
"Noah, could you take a little step forward," Bryan directed.
Snapping my gaze away from Y/N reluctantly, I followed Bryan's orders for another long few minutes until he decided we got enough pictures. I motioned towards Y/N, who still had her nose perched in her book, and Bryan knew what I silently was saying because he snapped a few pictures of her.
Malcolm and Chase walked up just as we finished our photoshoot so a quick idea came to my mind.
"Angel," I called.
She looked up. "Hm?"
Not saying anything, I waved her, Malcolm, and Chase over to our position which they did hesitantly.
"If Bryan is cool with it," I pointed to him. "What do you guys say for a Hollow Souls photoshoot? New and reimagined?"
Bryan immediately agreed. "Let me change out some things and we can get started.
Chase and Malcolm also agreed with a nod. "I think it'll be good for us."
"You guys don't have to do this for us," Y/N stated. "You've already done so much for us, Noah by filling in."
I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans. "I take care of the people I care about."
She pondered my words for a long moment and eventually let out a long breath. "Alright fine."
Once Bryan returned, the rest of stepped back to give them space to work. Nick was the only one who watched me as Jolly, Folio, and I kept our eyes on Hollow Souls. We grabbed a few beers from the cooler Jolly packed and was nursing them slowly.
"You know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe slip away just the two of you," Nick whispered.
I peered over to him and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the shoulder. "Whatever."
"I'm just saying," he held up his hands in defense. "A night under the stars in the mountains. Anybody would kill for a date like that."
Nick's words weighed heavily on my brain and when she began walking towards me, I made the haste decision by grabbing the guitar that was leaning against the tree.
"Hi," Y/N smiled as I met her halfway.
My heart warmed at the sight.
"Do you want to go somewhere more secluded, just the two of us?" I suggested with a hopeful smile.
I didn't want to think how I would feel if she rejected me and walked away from me.
"Sure," she answered quickly with a glimmer shining in her eyes.
Ultimately, after walking for a few minutes, we decided on an area far from the rest of the group down the water's edge. We sat down in the sand, our knees brushing against each other, and held the guitar in my lap as I watched her stare out into the vast distance of the water. There was a faraway look in the depths of her eyes as she messed with something on her wrist, fiddling it between her fingers.
A hair tie; the one I gave her the last time we were on the beach together. I wondered where it went but decided that I never wanted it back. It's hers to keep; along with everything else I gave her.
"How are you doing, angel?" I asked, breaking the growing silence.
She didn't look at me, kept her eyes straight ahead.
"I'm-." A hesitant breath. "I'm not sure. I want to believe I'm doing okay with the breakup of not only my relationship but also the band. For the longest time, Hollow Souls was the four of us and we released three records together. The future scares the shit out of me. Can the three of us reinvent a new Hollow Souls or do we need to find someone to replace Trey completely?"
I strummed a few random notes on the guitar; the melody echoing into the sounds of the waves.
"I think a fresh start in all aspects is good for you," I answered slowly, trying to get my thoughts and words right. "I've said it from the start, you're the heart and soul of this band, Y/N. The screams were a bonus. It didn't make or break you guys."
She finally looked towards me and her eyes darted over every inch of my face, wondering if my words were the truth. With her, they always were.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, mochi. Truly."
I scrunched up my face to show that the nickname wasn't my favorite but deep down, my insides were floating in pure bliss having her call me something so disgustingly cute. If any of the guys heard it, though, they would give me shit until the end of my days.
"Ditto, angel, ditto."
I tried to play it cool, sauvé, and chill. My typical demeanor was chipping like ice though, the fear of what would happen if it broke completely had its vise grip on me. No one has ever considered a fuckin a nickname for me, not one without a punchline. Not one without a groan or a cursed tantrum that followed. I wasn’t sure if the pure bliss I was feeling was normal, but who the hell wants normal? Hearing it come from her lips meant everything to me.
"Let's play something," I motioned to the guitar.
"Ooh, what do you have in mind?" She asked while turning her body to face me completely head-on and letting her hair flow as she took it out of the ponytail.
The view of her sitting in front of me with the waves crashing behind her, the setting sun's rays breaking over the horizon stole the breath from my chest.
"Only Love," I answered without an ounce of hesitation.
Y/N's nose scrunched up with confusion and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest fucking thing ever.
"Noah, that was a demo song from three years ago."
I shrugged and played the first few notes of the song. "Might be silly to some but to me, it means a lot."
It was true. I listened to that song on repeat when it first came out. It was the first song I heard by Hollow Souls and Y/N's voice captivated my heart with its claws. I remember laying on the pullout couch next to Nick in his bedroom as I stayed there yet again. My mind was racing with only one thought.
I have to fucking make it. I needed to buy my own couch that brought a sense of comfort and security I yearned for.
That's when her soft voice came through my headphones and it shocked me to hear a feminine voice after Of Mice and Men. I brushed the hair away from my eyes as I settled deeper into the couch and let Y/N's angelic voice lull me to sleep that night and far too long after.
Cut to three years later and the girl who wrote that song is here in front of me. Some may call it a ‘rockstar crush. Would she be considered that? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I had pent-up memories, and needed to hear that sweet voice sing it, just for me all these years later.
Y/N's real, right there in front of me.
"I'm shocked you remember that song."
"Why wouldn't I? You talked about it being on the cloud during that one livestream," I answered.
Her eyes doubled. "You watched the livestream?"
"Twice."
A red hue brushed across the soft skin of her face as she tilted her head down towards the sand, long hair covering her face.
"No," I brushed away the hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face, angel. I want to see all of you if you'd let me."
"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I don't even realize I do it."
"Don't apologize. Never apologize to me. Just understand that this is how I see you. Now, enough sadness. Sing for me, angel."
She looked up at me through lashes with a small smile. "Do you know how to play it?"
I snorted, a little hurt that she would doubt me, but proved her wrong as I played the opening part of the song.
"I told you I watched the stream twice."
"Okay," she nodded. "Where did you want me to start?"
"Sing the whole song for me. Please?" I begged.
"You want me to sing the whole song?"
"I do," I rushed out.
Y/N gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll play the whole thing- but only because you asked me too, no one else gets the privilege.”
I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. “They better not.”
She took a deep breath while shutting her eyes as I played the tune on the guitar.
"I’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent cause only hell knows where you’ve been. Your built composure’s wearing thin and all your walls are caving in. Before you shut this down, I just wanna lift you up. I’ll take all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough."
We both could hear the ache in our hearts as it bled out, the lyrics mean so fucking much right now.
"Now don’t you shut this down. Ooh no don’t you give this up. I took all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough. Is it enough? If we don’t bend, then this might break. Please don’t give into this pain. Just keep on counting down the days and dream of me to keep you safe."
Y/n opened her eyes to meet mine, a blaze of passion that cut deep into my bones.
"Before you came around I was lost and out of place. You’re the only love I found and I’m hoping that you’ll stay. Please stay."
As we played on together in perfect harmony, there was one thing bright in clear in my mind: I'd stay for as long as she let me.
"Fuck," she breathed. "I forgot how much I loved singing this song."
I nodded in agreement while setting the guitar down next to me. "It's one of my favorites. It's actually what got me into Hollow Souls. I'd been hooked on your voice since that first night on Nick's couch all those years ago when I first heard it."
Y/N beamed when an idea struck her with such force, she stumbled to her feet. "I have to talk with Chase and Malcolm about something."
She took off a few steps in front of me, clearly excited about this idea she had. As we reached the rest of the guys, Y/N made a beeline toward Chase to tell him about her idea while I walked up to Nick and Folio, the former giving me a look.
"So my date idea was good, huh?" He playfully jabbed my side.
I pushed him away with a groan of embarrassment. "Fuck off, Nicholas."
"Oh, he pulled out the full name," Folio teased.
Jolly and Bryan joined us as we finished packing up the van and when I glanced over to Y/N, I noticed Malcolm pinching her cheeks playfully and she smacked his hands away, her cheeks flushed with her own embarrassment and large smile.
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NOAH
"Oh wow, look at all of these beautiful people tonight!" Y/N's voice carried through the sold-out arena.
It was the last show of tour and Hollow Souls just took the stage for their set. We could feel the nerves radiate off of all three of them all the way where we stood on the stage to watch them. This was new what they planned on doing tonight but the three of them spent the rest of last night after we parted ways at the hotel and all morning and afternoon today practicing nonstop a new setlist. They wanted to show everyone tonight the first step towards the new Hollow Souls.
"Where's Noah?!" a voice yelled from the crowd.
Jolly chuckled from beside me. "Think they'll be upset you don't show up tonight?"
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I hope not. This is something that they need to prove they can do. The fans need to have faith in Hollow Souls."
"Well, about that," Malcolm spoke into his microphone while adjusting his bass strap.
"Now before you all start booing us off the stage," Chase spoke next from his spot above on his makeshift drum stage. "Noah has been fucking killing it not only with Bad Omens this tour but also helping us out a lot. But tonight, we wanted to do something a little different. We still have our guitar tech filling in for us!"
The crowd cheered for their guitar tech, which made him give an awkward wave.
"I know this may take getting used to, but we appreciate your support in doing what’s right for us and our band," Y/N said. "It means so fucking much to all of us you still showed up tonight even knowing Trey is no longer with us. For that, we're going to give you a kick ass show you deserved. Don't give up on Hollow Souls. We cut out the disease and are ready to fucking blossom."
Y/N peered over to me and with a small wave and wink, she sang the first few lyrics of Only Love.
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NOAH
Darkness cascaded over my sleeping form, a brush of moonlight breaking through the curtains pulled tight in our hotel room, and I buried myself deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Sleep was within my grasp and after the last few weeks, the thought of finally being able to sleep in my own bed back at home made it that much easier to grasp it.
Until my phone buzzed from its place on the nightstand and my hand smacked around until it grabbed it. Through hazy vision, I blinked a few times for the words to clear.
Hey, are you awake?-Angel.
I sat up in bed and rubbed away the rest of the sleep from my eyes. It only meant one thing when someone texted you the typical you up text.
Yeah, couldn't sleep.
Bullshit, you were seconds away from waking up Nick with your snoring.
I stared at the bubbles that appeared on my screen and then disappeared, only to reappear right before her next text came through.
Would it be alright if I came by to hang out? Or is it too late?
The clock at the top of my screen showed it was just before midnight.
Not at all. I've got snacks, and we can finally finish watching Spirited Away. Room 392
Be there in five minutes. I'll bring some goodies too! :)
I chucked a pillow at Nick, who was fast asleep in his bed, but when he remained sleeping, I threw another. Eventually, he groaned, slowly waking up.
"You need to leave." I scrambled out of bed and pulled away the blankets from Nick. "Y/N's coming by to hang out."
Nick smoothed down his bedhead, a sly smirk on his lips. "You're kicking me out right now?"
"Fuck yes I am. Go bunk with Bryan or Matt," I said while changing out of my old gray sweats for a pair of black joggers, opting to put on a shirt.
He yawned before grabbing the things he would need and dragged his feet to the door, sending a text to whoever he bunked with.
"Be safe!" Nick called out before the door shut behind him.
With seconds to spare, I quickly tidied up the room then set up a variety of snacks and pulled up the movie on my laptop, setting it on the bed just in time for a soft knock to sound on the door. I let out a few deep calming breaths and did a quick once over of myself in the mirror.
"Hi," I smiled once I opened the door.
Y/N's eyes grazed over every inch of me as she shifted on her feet in the doorway, clutching a bag close to her chest. She was dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt.
"Do you always sleep shirtless?" she asked with a raised brow.
I stepped to the side, allowing her to step inside the room. "Every hotel room I sleep in can't get any colder than seventy degrees. I need it to be at least sixty-eight. I run hot when I sleep and the guys know not to mess with the thermostat back home."
"Wow, good to know. I'll keep my hands to myself when I come over," she wiggled her fingers after setting her bag down on the couch.
Please don't.
I peeked a brow. "When you come over?"
"Oh, if you thought you saw the last of me because the tour is over, you're wrong," she fell onto the couch with a huff of breath. "I'm moving to Los Angeles."
My heart thumped loudly in my chest but I did my best to hide my excitement when I sat next to her.
"You are?" I questioned.
She nodded with that room-brightening smile. "I had a long talk with Chase and Malcolm tonight and we thought it is best. With us trying to reinvent Hollow Souls it'd be good if we were together for the writing process. Malcolm already found a place big enough for us and while he's going there to get things ready, Chase is flying back with me to Vegas to help me pack my things."
I shifted in my seat, resting my arm against the back of the couch, behind Y/N. "Do you think Trey will be there?"
"Probably but that's why Chase is coming with me; in case things go south."
"I could come too if you'd like," I stumbled over my words only slightly.
Y/N rested a hand on my knee and squeezed it. "You need to stop worrying so much about me, Noah. I can't ask you to change your plans for something I should do on my own."
"You're worth it, angel," I vowed while running a finger through the soft waves of her hair.
We stayed in that position for a minute longer, simply staring into each other's eyes, and when I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, Y/N let out a soft whine. The thick tension that always seemed to be around us intensified now, and it was almost hard to breathe, let alone keep my thoughts off the way her hand grazed a few inches higher on my thigh.
I cleared my throat while nodding to the bag next to her. "What did you bring?"
"Oh," she snapped out of her trance and set it on her lap. "Last tour, I started this tradition on the final night I celebrate by doing self-care."
She pulled out an array of masks and different colors of nail polish and then set them on the small coffee table in front of us.
"Sweet, hand me one," I nodded towards the masks.
"You do masks?" Y/N giggled.
"What, you think I get this perfect skin with just water?" I jeered with a smile.
For the next while, we sat with our face masks on and watched the movie on the small screen of my laptop. It took almost no convincing from her to paint my nails black; her choosing a burgundy color for her nails. But now, what she was trying to convince of me gave me a slight pause.
"I don't know, angel. I don't let just anyone touch my hair," I said while putting away my laptop, us finishing the movie.
Y/N moved to the chair that sat in the room's corner and had her legs spread wide. "It's a good thing I'm not anyone. Now, get your ass over here and let me braid your hair."
For added effect, she pouted her bottom lip out and gave me those big doe eyes.
"Fine," I sighed before sitting on the floor between her legs, my back to her.
I shivered under her touch as she raked her fingers through my hair to break apart the small knots that gathered while I slept earlier.
"So, which Greek God is your favorite?" I asked.
She hummed. "Without a doubt, Medusa. Her story is tragic and sometimes often told wrong but that's the thing with mythology; there are so many different versions, you just have to choose which one you believe more."
"Medusa is the one with the snake hair, right?"
"Yeah," she turned my head to the left as she began braiding that side. "Some stories said she was an original gorgon sister but recent tellings from Ovid say she was a beautiful maiden who worked in Athena's temple. Poseidon saw her from afar and just like Zeus always did, Poseidon decided he wanted Medusa. He had sex with her on the temple steps and Athena punished her by turning her into the gorgon with snake hair and cursed any man to turn to stone when they looked at her."
I whistled low. "Shit, Greek gods were assholes."
Y/N snorted. "You don't even know the half of it."
Once she finished the left side, she turned my head to the right so she could start on that side.
"How'd her story end?"
"In tragedy, like every other myth. Perseus was sent to behead her by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry Perseus's mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, sandals with gold wings from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades's helm of invisibility."
"Wait," I turned to look up at her, which made her chastise me because I messed up the braid. "Athena, who turned her into this monster, helped the guy who was sent to kill her?"
"Fucked up, I know."
With stern hands, she turned my head to the right again. "Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus could slay her; he did so while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon so when Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body."
"Oh Pegasus, from the Disney Hercules," I noted.
"That movie is so wrong but what do you expect for a kids' movie," Y/N chuckled then slapped her thighs. "All finished."
She showed me my reflection through her camera on her phone and I couldn't stop the smirk that pulled at my lips.
"I'll have to admit, angel. I look good with braids," I admitted while snatching her phone from her.
"Hey, what are you doing?!" She asked while reaching for it.
I leaned far back from her and posed for a few selfies. "I thought you'd like an updated selfie of me. I know you have the other two I sent you a few weeks ago."
With a red face, she snatched her phone back and held it close to her chest. "I do not."
Bullshit.
"Right, then let me see your pictures," I teased while kneeling in front of her, hands resting on her thighs, her skin ablaze with heat.
She swallowed thickly. "Fuck you, Sebastian."
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READER
I swallowed thickly while clutching my phone to my chest, knowing that he was correct about saving those two selfies he sent me before.
"Are you going to look at the selfie I took?" Noah taunted.
With a breath, I peered down at the phone only to suck in a large breath, body shivering underneath his warm touch on my thighs.
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"That's your new contact picture, mochi," I smirked while setting it and leaned deeper in the couch, not realizing that I pressed my core closer to Noah's face.
His eyes burned as his gaze darted from between my legs up to my face and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost imagining the taste.
"Angel," his voice was deep, it rumbling in his chest.
All the heat shot straight to my pussy as it clenched with desire, something that always happened when around Noah. Before, I took care of myself with this exact image in my mind but now that it was about to happen made me buzz with excitement.
"Can I?" He asked while breathing over my lap.
I raised my hips towards his face, all morals or thoughts if this was the best idea flew out of the window. We waited long enough for this moment ever since we shared that kiss so long ago. I wasn't a religious person at all but fuck, did I pray to Aphrodite about this moment countless times.
"Please," the word choked out on my lips.
With a low growl, Noah pulled me off of the chair and tossed me onto the bed before he crawled between my spread legs. His long fingers hooked the waistband of shorts and panties pulling them off in almost a quick snap and when blazed eyes stared down at my bare pussy, I tried to close my legs.
"Don't," Noah demanded while gripping my thighs tight to spread my legs again. "Don't hide a fucking thing from me, angel."
Shit.
"I've never actually-," The words died on my lips when I felt embarrassed about what I was about to say.
Noah leaned over me. "Wait, are you going to say what I think you're going to say?"
I turned my head away from him. "He never wanted to go down on me."
Noah cursed while cupping my chin so I could meet his gaze. "Don't think about him, angel. Just lay back and enjoy this."
I did my best to nod in his grasp. "Okay."
He suddenly crashed his lips to mine in a fiery, passionate kiss, as he forced his tongue past my lips to taste every inch of my mouth and I moaned into it, nails scratching against the bare skin of his chest. Noah's teeth dragged over my bottom lip as his hand dragged down my side to slide up underneath my shirt, fingers pinching at my nipples.
"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.
He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."
I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never being this turned one, and for a moment I wondered if it would be alright; no pain.
Noah helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt over my head and soon was laying bare in front of him, hair sprawled around my head.
"Fuck, angel. You're fucking beautiful."
For the longest time, I was told something different from how I looked. So hearing the truth and sincerity from Noah made me almost close my legs in front of him. But with his tight grip on my hips to keep me locked against the bed, I knew he could read my thoughts.
"Don't go there. Stay here with me," he said before his lips pressed over every inch of skin from my lips to my chest, down my stomach, and stopped right about my pussy.
I whined the smallest of sobs when Noah took his time, lips ghosting over me. By now I was almost begging and when I finally felt the wet flick of his tongue against my clit, I breathed out a shaky curse. Noah pressed the fullness of his tongue against my lips, licking me up from the bottom to the top, spreading my legs wider apart. I bit my hand to keep the noises at bay.
"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh.
"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes.
My hands now grasped at the blanket beneath me as I raised my hips farther into his mouth, his lips wrapping around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. I always thought my Gspot was in my clit because it was hard to have an orgasm any other way than rubbing myself. Without even telling Noah this, it was as if he knew exactly what my body needed.
It happened so fast, before I knew it he was devouring me like a dying man. I’ve never felt euphoria until now; this must be how it feels to see the moon, the moon that changes its orbit. He had me spinning.
"I love the way you taste, angel." Noah broke away from my clit for a second before diving back it.
The familiar feeling of an orgasm built in my stomach, the tension pulling so fucking tight it was seconds away from snapping. My spine tingled with anticipation as my body tensed, knees shaking underneath Noah as he rubbed his tongue in faster but shorter circles, moaning with the taste that lingered on his lips.
"N-noah. 'M so close," I let my head fall back deeper into the mattress.
"Let go, I've got you."
With a strangled breath, I let the orgasm crash through me like a tsunami, a bright white light edging at the corners of my eyes while Noah licked me through the last few aftershocks. As my breathing calmed, I lifted my head in time to see him stand to his feet, stepping out of his joggers only to stand in front of me in his black briefs.
I licked my lips when I saw his cock straining against the confines of the material until he palmed himself in a few strokes.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.
I shook my head with desperation clear in my voice. "No, please. I need this-I need you, Noah."
He cursed before sliding off his briefs with desperation and urgency, his hard cock springing against his thigh, and I nearly died at that sight alone. All of my imagination did nothing compared to the real thing, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for a few different reasons. Sex with Trey was uncomfortable but with Noah's size, I feared it would only hurt. The only saving grace was that he worked me open and the added wetness would make up for the slight pain.
"Are you on anything?" Noah asked while kneeling between my legs.
A lot of different shit.
"No," I said.
He leaned over to a bag that lay at the foot of the bed and rummaged around for a few seconds before retrieving a condom. I watched with anticipation as pre-cum seeped out of the slit when he ripped it open and slid it over his length then perched himself between my legs again, the head of his cock pressing gently against me. He wrapped one of my legs around his hip then slowly, sunk deep inside of me, and I bit my tongue hard to keep my strangled cry quiet. I knew there was going to be some pain; it was inevitable, but I didn't expect it to feel so good either.
"Fuck," Noah rested his forehead against my collarbone. "So tight."
He didn't move at first, relishing in the way I felt gripping his cock, and I couldn't take it anymore; I needed him to move.
"Noah," I begged while grinding against him.
One hand gripping my thigh, the other was placed next to my head to keep himself supported as he finally moved his hips in slow, deep strokes.
"Faster," I panted, almost pleading.
Slow was good but right now I needed fast.
Noah accepted my pleas and began slamming into me with such force, I cried out in name with a mixture of pleasure and pain. My hand slipped between our bodies to rub at my clit, hoping that the sensation would ease the pain a bit, but it could only do so much.
He noticed something was wrong with the way my face contorted in pain. "Angel, do you want to get on top?"
"Fuck yes, please."
Still buried deep inside of me, Noah rolled our bodies so now I was straddling him and almost immediately, the pain subsided; it was still there but not as strong. My hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered his chest as I leaned down to lick my way across the snake and apple on his neck. The noise he made, and his moans were so soft as my hot tongue went up and down his neck, I grazed over his Adam's apple with my teeth and bit down. Noah shook underneath me as he wrapped an arm around my back to hold me closer, burying his thick, aching cock, deeper inside of me.
We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. I gave him a show. This is heaven in hiding.
"Angel," he begged as my teeth worked on leaving a mark against the hand on his neck. "I need-."
"What do you need?" I ground my hips against his pelvis and the sensation sent sparks to my clit and I clenched around him.
"Fuck," he cursed. "Don't stop what you're doing. It feels so good."
"Oh," I bit down on a new patch of skin on his throat. "This?"
"Yes," he dragged out the S for a few seconds.
My hands went to run through his hair but I almost forgot in our haste that I braided it a few minutes before this.
"Angel," Noah's voice was raw. "You have no idea how much I've wanted you."
I sat up slowly to stare down at him in awe as his words made me feel unspeakable things.
In one quick action, his hand snaked behind my head to pull my lips back down to him to kiss me feverishly.
"Noah," I tugged on his braids.
"Shit, give me a minute. I can take them out."
I didn't stop moving my hips against him. "Noah. I-."
"Just second, angel."
His hands left their vice grip on my hips to take out his hair but I quickly slapped his hands while sinking deeper on his cock. "Leave them."
The same sensation of a cresting orgasm filled every inch of me, ecstasy shooting through my veins like a drug, and when Noah's thumb pressed fast circles against my clit, I leaned my head up towards the ceiling, lips parting as my hands wrapped around his braids, pulling with such force he choked on my name. I rode Noah faster, needing that last little bit of friction to tip me over the edge and when I finally let the bliss plow through me in droves, I held my breath.
"Angel," Noah cupped my cheek so I could look down at him. "Breathe through it with me."
I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.
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NOAH
I pressed light kisses all along Y/N's shoulder blades, in shock and almost slight jealousy as I took in every inch of the large tattoo that covered her back. It was of a large snake that wrapped along every groove of her spine with an array of different Japanese flowers.
Afterward, I let her fall onto the mattress with a happy sigh, immediately grasping the pillow closer to her chest and that's when I noticed the tattoo.
"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," I mused while running a finger over the ink.
"It's taken like two years to complete. It's my second favorite after the one on my leg of the Gods," she rested her chin on her palm. "You know what I just realized? We have similar tattoo themes; copy cat."
Her finger grazed over the snake and apple along my neck.
"Yeah," I chuckled. "All you need is an apple right here."
I smacked right above her ass and she shrieked while falling into the pillow once again, a long but content sigh falling from her lips. I kissed from between her shoulder blades down her back, my nails grazing beyond the wake of my lips.
"Are you okay?" I wondered while gently squeezing her hips.
“Yeah, I think so. I feel content, just basking in it. You?”
I nodded and kissed the side of her head as I lay next to her. "I feel great."
"Do you know what you want in 10 years?" Y/N blurted out.
“That’s a random question” I chuckled while kissing her lips.
She sighed and looked up at me through her lashes. “I know but think about it, like really think about it?”
I thought deeply about her question, fingers still grazing her spine. “Alright I’ll bite, I don’t know, I’ve always been trying to make it with whatever bullshit has been going on in my fucking life- just wanting to mean something to somebody, make music- for anybody out there to listen. To be the fucking king you know?”
She laughs. "And?"
"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."
Y/N's body went rigid with my words.
"But right now, no dog, no family just…just Bad Omens," I finished with a hopeful breath.
She hummed in response but turned her head to face the wall opposite of us, something bothering her. Not wanting to push it, I left another kiss on her spine before I slipped out of bed to discard of the condom in the bathroom trash, a light red color catching my attention.
Once back in the room, I slipped back underneath the covers.
"Angel?"
Another hum vibrated from her throat, sleep weighing heavy on her shoulders.
"Did you get your period?"
I swore I saw all the breath leave her body with my question and my mind panicked, thinking she was embarrassed.
"It's fine," I rubbed her back soothingly. "I just saw some blood on the condom, that's all."
When she still said nothing, I nudged her face with my nose. "Are you alright?"
"Yep," she said quietly.
"Stay till morning?" I asked, hopefully.
Finally, she turned to face me and left a kiss on my nose. "I have to go."
My heart fell into the dark pits of my stomach as I watched her slip out from underneath the sheet to gather her clothes. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, Noah." She slipped back into her clothes rather quickly. "I just have an early flight to catch and I know you have one too."
I shook my head and stood to my feet while slipping my briefs and joggers back on. "I don't buy that. We were great, where did you go just now?"
She doesn't want to leave, I can see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.
"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.
"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.
"Then why won't you stay?"
The fear of her slipping between my fingers was debilitating.
"Noah, you know I can’t; we can’t," Y/N stumbled over her words.
I stretched my arms out wide at my sides. "Why? Why can’t you?"
With her gaze still cast down to her feet, she shook her head. "You don’t want me Noah, trust me, you don’t want any part of this."
"Bullshit," I spat as my anger got the best of me.
Y/N's head snapped up towards me, finally looking me in my eyes and all I saw in hers were the wetness of tears. "I have this condition that already makes my life harder every fucking month. I don't need to bring you into it and ruin our future, alright?"
My heart stopped for a few seconds. "Condition? What the fuck, are you dying or something? I don't know what the hell this means."
"No," she rushed out. "I'm not dying. I-I don't want to get into this right now. All I know is that I would need you a lot more than you'd need me. And you deserve better than me, anyway."
"Don't-" I started while pointing a finger at her.
She ran a distressed hand through her hair. "You know it’s true Noah, please. This is hard enough as it is. Walking out right now."
The bed stood between us and I hated feeling so far from her even though we were still in the same room so I walked around it, standing a few inches in front of her now.
"I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life too, Y/N. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and can’t handle. Don’t sit there and tell me what I want or don’t want. You’re just so afraid of us," I pointed between us.
She grasped her elbows to hug herself and I could see the way her mind was running, gears turning hastily. Y/N was shutting down in front of me and I fucking hated it.
"Don’t fucking do that. I’m not him," I assured her with a gentler tone.
All of this was a trauma response, something so embedded deep into her brain that it was the only way she knew how to act. I know she felt the same way that I did; it was clear with what happened not even an hour ago. If she didn't feel the way I did, she wouldn't have shown up tonight. Y/N wants to stay, I can see it in the way her eyes keep darting to the bed but the pain and trauma were too deep.
"I’m sorry angel, I just- you’re wrong. I know how I feel about you, and I know what you feel about me."
I went to reach for her hands but she took a step back, a few tears falling to the ground below.
"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."
Not that fucking line.
"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"
Her bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its wait through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."
"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you."
"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.
I paced the room, hands shaking in anger. Defeat? I wasn't sure.
"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.
"I'm going to head out."
Y/N nodded towards the door after gathering her things and stepped past me to leave.
The fear of losing her completely is what made me give in to her wishes. As much as I wanted to fight her choice, I needed her as a friend more than something more. I'll take what I can get for right now until she realizes she feels the same; I know she does.
As she opened the door, my feet closed the distance between us in two large steps and I grasped her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears burned with the need to fall but she held fast and strong, refusing to show me how badly walking away was affecting her.
I brushed my lips across hers in a soft kiss. "I can wait for you."
She tried to disagree but my grip was too strong. "Noah- I can’t ask you to do that. That’s not fair. You deserve-"
“Don’t tell me what you think I deserve." I let out a shaky breath. "Look, heaven knows I’m not getting over you, I can wait”
“Besides. I’m known for having a lot of fuckin patience. I will wait." I finished with a shrug.
If I wasn't already staring intently at her, I almost would have missed the small nod she gave me; but I didn't. I saw it.
“Goodnight Noah.”
With one final kiss, not enough to remember the way she tastes, Y/N let the door shut behind her as I burned my hateful gaze through it. She left? How the fuck could she just leave after the night we had together?
No, fuck that.
I barreled through the door in time to notice she was only two doors down, frozen in her spot.
"Angel," I called after her.
Slowly, she turned, and I sucked in a breath when I saw the redness in her eyes, puffy with teh tears she let out as soon as the door closed. Mine mirrored hers.
"Please," I begged. "Just come back to me. I'll wait for you."
Y/N hesitated but within that hesitation, something stood out clear as day; she took a small step towards me until that doubt filled the back of her mind yet again. I stayed in the hallway watching as she turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and life; my words not being enough to make her stay.
Back inside the room, I let the door slam shut and made a beeline toward the minibar. I screwed off the cap of the Hennessy, downing half of it in one go.
"Bitter ends to the night. I'm along for the ride," I raised the bottle in the air before taking another long, slow gulp with my eyes screwed shut.
Suddenly, they snapped open, and I rummaged around the mess of my room for my phone, quickly typing out a text to Jolly.
I need to write a song, now.
Only a few minutes passed before he responded, just enough time for me to pop open another bottle.
Now? It's three in the morning and we have nothing here.
Doesn't fucking matter. I'll figure it out. Come to my room.
Letting the bottle slip from my fingers, I stalked over to the wall and slid down until my ass hit the floor with a thud; the image of Y/N crying and walking away burned into my brain. I was out of breath, out of time trying to stop her but, in the end, everything has a price. And I was paying for it. 
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esamastation · 6 months
Text
Part forty-seven of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.
Ao3 link.
Previous parts: thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty, forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-six
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You want to be a hero.
You grow up with news that, unbeknownst to your young self, are completely controlled by Shinra, publicising Shinra propaganda, showing scenes of a war that's been going on for longer than you've known how to read. Everyone knows what the war is really about and everyone talks about it, but their tone is defeatist. There's nothing anyone can do about it. It's Shinra. Shinra will do as it likes. Ultimately, few people in your little backwater town really care.
But you don't really understand. You've seen the pictures - the parades, the speeches, the tech showcases. Tanks and trucks and planes and helicopters and the great airships. Shinra technology is already like magic to you - but they also make magic, they make Materia! 
And they make SOLDIER.
The SOLDIERs are in the papers a lot. Sephiroth is in the papers a lot.
They call him a hero. The Hero of Shinra, the Hero of Wutai. Your mother reads you the article about him saving a squad of infantry troopers all by himself, how he'd taken a town just with his sword, how a great general surrendered to Sephiroth personally. There is a magazine every other week with Sephiroth on the front page.
Everyone is in awe of Sephiroth. All the kids in the school talk about how cool he is. They trade pictures of him like they're old-fashioned reading cards - until Shinra actually starts making SOLDIER trading cards. Everyone wants the holographic one of Sephiroth with Masamune.
Everyone wants to be like Sephiroth.
They talk about SOLDIERs. How they're superhuman. How Shinra puts magic into their veins, making them like the Ancients of myth and legend - but better! Because SOLDIERs can't just do magic - they're also really strong and really fast, and nothing can stand in their way! SOLDIERs are the best of the best! Their eyes glow and they can lift cars and fight dragons, and just being a SOLDIER means you're a hero.
Because heroes are people in the news, making headlines and having their pictures taken. 
And you want to be a hero.
You want to be respected and acknowledged and feared. You want to know that there's nobody out there who can push you around. You want to make it into the newspapers, you want to be the one they write and talk about. You want to be the person they look up to and say, "Wow, I wanna be like them."
So you look into it. How do people become SOLDIER? They go to Midgar, they enter the SOLDIER candidate trials. There are tests, though no one knows for sure what they are. If you pass them, there's some kind of special surgery, and then…then you're in. And they make you into a SOLDIER.
And you're a hero for the rest of your life.
So you leave home. You make it all the way across the Planet and to Midgar. You sleep in an inn that costs too much, and you go to Shinra Building, and you ask the ladies at the reception, "How do I apply for the SOLDIER candidate trials?"
They laugh, and they give you a form to fill, which you pretend to read, but you don't, really, you're too excited. You sign everything, and they tell you, "Come back in two weeks, that's when the trials start." 
In two weeks you use up all your savings and see the best Midgar has to offer, and you're sick with nerves and starting to worry, and you know you should call your mom, but you can't, not until you have good news. You're really starting to be nervous, but then, finally, it's time. 
You head to the Shinra Building. You see the lobby is full of kids just like you, all nervous and sick and excited, and, you can't help noticing, so much bigger than you. Maybe older than you. SOLDIER candidate trials don't have an age limit, but you're worried you might be the youngest one there.
You don't talk to anybody. You're worried you'll throw up, you're so anxious.
A doctor welcomes you all into the SOLDIER candidate trials. He explains: there are several steps to becoming a SOLDIER, and the very first of it is the Mako reactivity test, and that there's no point in telling you about the rest unless you pass it. After all, you can't become a SOLDIER at all if you can't handle Mako! Everyone laughs, nervously. Your forced chuckle sounds like a wheeze. You wish you'd gone to the bathroom before it all started.
They divide the candidates into groups of twelve, and you're in group 8. Each group is assigned a lab, and a man in a lab coat tells you to follow. You take the elevator up. One of the other candidates looks at you and snorts. You're the shortest in the group.
You feel yourself blush, but say nothing.
Your group is ushered into a lab and lined up by size. The tech pulls up a trolley with twelve syringes and a number of swabs. You're the last in line - the biggest goes first.
You watch each glowing green injection closely - you see every reaction.
The first candidate goes pale and begins to sweat. He's told to sit down.
The second candidate doesn't react at all. He's told to sit down.
Third breaks out into red bumps all over his arm and is quickly given another injection. He's the first one to fail.
Fourth candidate reacts like the first and sits down.
Fifth passes out - he's the second one to fail.
Sixth doesn't react and is told to sit down…
Until finally it's your turn.
You watch the needle go in. It hurts. It feels weird, when the lab technician begins pushing the glowing green liquid in. You can't figure out how it feels. It just feels like a lot.
You feel pressure, inside yourself and in your head and all around you. You feel like you're being squeezed from inside out. You feel like you're suddenly very heavy, and yet you also feel light as a feather. The lights in the lab suddenly seem to glow blindingly bright.
You're drenched in sweat.
The lab technician tells you to sit down.
You pass the test - the eight of twelve. Of the four that failed, two have to be rolled out in wheelchairs. Of the eight that passed, two have thrown up.
They tell you you have higher Mako reactivity than is really desired in the program. There's a good chance you - along with numbers one, four and nine who reacted like you did - wouldn't pass the follow-up tests. You're told to not get your hopes up - but also that you shouldn't let that get you down.
"There's another program running right now," they tell you, cheerfully. "They're looking for volunteers for a new type of SOLDIER treatments! You might be a perfect fit for it!"
You don't understand. The pressure inside your head is turning into a headache. You try to reply cheerfully and probably fail.
The next stage of testing would be in a week. They tell you to be back then and send you off.
You're not sure what you're going to do. You've run out of money and can't stay at the inn anymore. You have nowhere to stay and you know no one in Midgar. Your head is starting to really hurt, and the injection site is inflamed. You don't know what you're going to do for another week. The pressure inside your head feels permanent.
You think you might've messed up, bad.
But you still want to be a hero.
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