#THATS FUCKING CRIMINAL
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finally got around to watching top gun: maverick and all I have to say is that I’m so in love with Bob
#HOW DID YALL NOT TELL ME AB HIM#MY WHOLE FEED WAS FULL OF ROOSTER FOR LIKE A MONTH#AND SOME HANGMAN TOO#BUT NO BOB????#THATS FUCKING CRIMINAL#HES THE BEST#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#I WANNA GIVE HIM THE WHOLE WORLD#NEED HIM IN MY LIFE FR#bob floyd#top gun maverick#lewis pullman#sara:speaks
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AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty
Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"
#jason todd#red hood#batfam#i also think it would be funny if thats literally the only thing jason does as a lawyer after that he just goes back to being a vigilante#everyone on the internet is like 'the iconic career of jason todd wayne: came back from the dead got a college degree got the joker-#-sentenced to death (finally) and then immediately fucked off to do whatever the hell it is he does for fun'#any time bruce and jason disagree jasons like 'excuse me which one of us is the college drop out and which of us is a practicing attorney?'#alfred 'you could have been a doctor but you became a furry themed vigilante instead' will never let this go#also btw jason just stole reasources from the league to get thru college. maybe at first talia was like what & then jason was like#'my alternate plan was to either get bruce to kill the joker or kill all three of us in an explosion' and talia is like#'okay. have fun at school sweetie'#BTW AN EDIT: this post is not reflective of my IRL beliefs about the criminal justice system or the death penalty#IRL those are way more complicated than gotham city/the joker/jason make it out to be#saw a few people tagging this post mentioning stuff about that
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i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.
BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.
Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.
Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.
But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.
Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.
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They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.
It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.
If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)
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Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.
They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.
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Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.
One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.
Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.
And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.
She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.
She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?
And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.
(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)
The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.
Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul#its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT#this is the gist of it#i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper#and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it.#ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage#bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat#ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina#the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms#because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley.#and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore#like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and#haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where#siren type shit fr fr#look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat#on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth#he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason#and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina#the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays#a lullaby.#look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink#hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays.#hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly
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Yeah I need him 😫
#jenson button#jb22#f1#formula 1#f1 fandom#formula one#need him in a way thats sinful#like fuck its criminal how rent free he lives in my head
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#i fucking love the spider-signal. i love it so much.#sci talks comics#it has NO PRACTICAL USE other than for spider-man to say “bitch guess who.”#thats all it exists for. its so useless . it's so useless. i cousl cry about it. this is so supervillain core it's such an ego thing.#spider-man just wants to strike fear into the hearts of criminals.#by putting his silly little completely unintimidating adorable little spider-man mask emblem up on the wall for everyone to see.#announces his arrival. like the diva that he is.#its such a power play too like do you not want the tactical advantage of surprise??? no. he knows he doesn't need it.#watch out criminals here i come . bitch you better know Who i Am. prepare your ass.#i lveo eg him. i loooooveeee him.#dramatic little idiot. diva. diva. he's all about the show.#guess who's coming to beat your ass. little ol' me! spider-man!
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the scene of morgan and reid tackling the rabies unsub is so good. whump derek? nice. reid panicking cuz he wants to save morgan but might just shoot him and not the unsub? great. reid tackling the guy morgan style? we love to see it. reid getting decked and immediately derek goes "oh hell no" and knocks the guy out no hesitation? delicious. and then reid stepping on the guy, gun at the ready, with a lil cut on his face? fuck yes. "nice tackle kid." "thanks, i've been working out a little."? don't mess with this duo, is all i'm gonna say
#criminal minds#spencer reid#derek morgan#moreid#if u squint#it can also be platonic idrc#hey look i posted a thing#derek just fucking that guy up the second he laid hands on spencer <3<3<3 ik thats right
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Can you imagine what being Professor Moriarty's student was like? You have a very dedicated Mathematics professor, who also has a degree in Astronomy, and he tries his best to make everyone understand what he says despite the limitations of having a bunch of different students with a bunch of different learning styles, and he's just so nice; a bit overly strict with schedules, but he never humiliates you for forgetting an assignment. He probably donates his money to associations that seek to help immigrants or something. His eyes lighten up whenever you show interest in one of his areas of expertise outside of lecture hours, and he infodumps about how the Sun will die one day to you. He takes jokes well despite the resting bitch face he carries around.
And then one day you hear he was killed by Sherlock fucking Holmes and that he was a mobster.
#dont really like when hes the main villain of every work i ever see#but thats because nobody is exploring the possibilities when they include him in a narrative#like hes so fucking overrated and you arent doing anything to make him actually worth our time!#hes a good professor! and as far as we know his dad was a criminal and his brothers arent so theres family drama too!#have fun! be weird about him!#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#professor moriarty#headcanon
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2009 Singapore Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#my eyes are just lazer focused on where his race suit is unzipped 🫠 he looks sooooo good in these#i wish theyd bring back this style of post race presser bcs my god imy heart skips a beat every time drivers make eye contact w the camera#i think the last race i watched where nando was on the podium was literally fucking canada 23#so i am very very please and happy and delighted to see him finally again#BUT I AM SHRIEKING AT THE FACT THAT HE DEDICATED HIS PODIUM TO FLAVIO AT HOME#FLAVIO WHO IS AT HOME BECAUSE HE WAS LITERALLY JUST PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM F1#AND HE DOES THIS PRACTICALLY ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF CRASHGATE WHICH WAS JUST PENALIZED A WK AGOO#NANNDDOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS???? MENACE BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!! WAR CRIMINAL!!!!!!!#not included here but he was late to the cooldown room even tho he was the first one to get to parc ferme#and i realized its because he went to get a coke hahaha#i guess thats his drink of choice when dehydrated bcs thats what he was drinking at malaysia 2005 when it was also humid/hot#also i prefer the blue/yellow renault livery obv but i think the yellow/orange one is underrated#renaults liveries and color palletes from this era imo are just very clean and nice looking and work very well together#fernando alonso#fa14#formula 1#f1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 singapore gp
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Aaron Hotchner
Criminal Minds 10.18
#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#criminalmindsedit#*mine#cm 10x18#wait hang on i need to find the tags i used for him on my main *bad elevator music plays*#i would [dolphin noises - clown shoes honking - police sirens - a jalopy awooga - blood curdling screams] and THEN id fuck that old man#i make myself laugh and thats all that matters
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i like to think that Poppy holds Wally when she's scared/nervous
#hes very cozy#she probably has so much fluff its impossible to hurt him when squeezing#hes her... fuck what do you call it#not a stress ball or emotional support animal... somewhere between the two#the very faint upper right scribble is barnaby handing wally to her#twelve apples tall = perfect holding size#welcome home#welcome home fanart#welcome home puppet show#welcome home poppy#welcome home wally#poppy is Very easy to draw for some reason???#it took me quite a few doodles to figure out wall and everyone else#i still havent gotten frank or eddie or howdy right#but poppy??? first try i was like Oh. Thats How#anyway i see a criminal lack of poppy fanart#shes wonderful <3<3<3<3<3
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pov u used some random kid as a hostage in beika and it really did not turn out well for you
#dcmk#my art#edogawa conan#i think hes a menace. i like it when he gets his hands on guns#like that is so not child safe. evem if he were a high schooler thats soooo unsafe#its incredible. cmon little man r u gonna shoot?? i believe in u#i like when he gets into situations and actually calls the cops instead of running off by himself#theyre show up w huge lights and a megaphone saying You Fucking Idiot Criminal. Dont You Recognize Our Mascot#its so so funny and dear to me#this is very sloppy. alas i am very tired
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something for fun
#hmmm basically she follows in the footsteps of prince...sad! well theres other clowns#thats why shes blue/red highlights (abundance of prince) and no yellow (lack of pirplexa)#also while drawing her i thought of the chassis scene in portal 2#carni gets all famous and pirplexa is like awh ok awesome dude but we have to get back to work#and carni is like wait....why do I have to leave now.#she will never be canon ever aus are fun in moderation#drew like a dark fucked up version of carni valentine ahah#criminal clownery#cc carni#symb dodoles
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When your bombshell fiancee makes you carry all the groceries😔
#but it’s all cool because he always gets rewarded for his gentlemanly behavior (though#he’s not really a gentleman)#Basically- Scott: Will you carry this for me?🥰’#Billy: *Jake tone* whatever you want mama#Scott x Billy#I like the contrast#sweet boy with negligent daddy getting swept up by this leather jacket wearing bad boy (kinda bad boy)#Scott was already getting fucked happily by criminals nightly before. so if anything this is an upgrade. Robert. Oh and#your son looks like a girl#ALKSKSKSK that is NOT what I was gonna say but the tag came up#perfect. thats it actually.#nsft#scott mccall equalizer#billy gambini
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my personal theory of why characters like james bond and indiana jones and batman and the line cook in bear are sexy is that that particular rogue archetype combines working class male attributes of physical violence and manual labour with a bourgeoise genteelness so middle class viewers don't have to deal with the cognitive dissonance of finding male labouring bodies hot but not wanting to fuck poor people
#like thats what gymming boils down to?#men who do physical labour and have the bodies for that are like objectively hot but the class of men that does it for their job are not#viable partners under capitalism for middle class women/mlm#so u settle for a billionaire who beats up criminals in his off time#or an eton-cambridge educated hired killer#like thats why sebastian moran has to be a disgraced lordling yanno. if the middle class readership has to find him hot. he has to have#that social and cultural capital even tho it makes zero sense for his real job#why officers are hot and grunt soldiers aren't#or if grunt soldiers are hot theyre the 'secretly' poetry reading kind#there has to be SOMETHING. to mark them as distinctively NOT working class despite the working class job#LIKE EVEN IN THE BEAR!#the majn character is so fucking hot hes a line cool hes filthy but hes a haute couture chef#he 'approximates' working classness without embodying it so he can be desired yanno#its also v specific to men
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read the original rope play script
#rope 1948#so fucking funny how brandons like… Constntly making comments about how he outright has a body in the chest#like in the movie hes so mych more vague but in the play hes just like#yep im a murderer. a criminal. it happened less than 3 hours ago. id never let you look in that chest#and then they all giggle WOW THATS SO FUNNY BRANDON#i heard somewhere theres a radio show of the play script so Im gonna like . search for that
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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