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jasonsthunderthighs · 9 months

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I was on the phone with Tobin, talkin' bout how my great uncle died and how at his (Tobin’s) funeral, BEFORE, he's goin to tell EVERYBODY that I'm GOIN to say “Well, there goes a real sack of crap!” AT the funeral and to NOT get mad when I do say that

His words, “Mel’s threatened to say ‘there goes a real sack of crap!’ at the funeral, so DON'T get mad when they do!”

Followed by, “Can you IMAGINE how mad everybody would get after you said that?”

He's 53 and STILL ‘members the time I told him when he was in his 30s that I WAS GOIN TO SAY THAT WHEN HE DIES AT HIS FUNERAL

Like holy shit, this is one of the moments you KNOW that we're related

#that's a reference from The Simpsons that we would say ALL the time cause we had no wifi and would watch DVDs of whatever we had #and we had A LOT of The Simpsons DVDs (not the newer ones or the first two seasons cause we didn't really like those early episodes)#it was also cause Marge was SO annoyin in the first two seasons and would ONLY do that grumble noise SO annoyingly for NO damn reason #but yea #this is still a thing that I WILL fuckin do 😂#just WAIT till my twin gets up there after I say that #THAT'S when it'll be hilarious #we're so mean to each other in a funny way #but I also still have mixed feelings for him and that's why I'm literally goin to say that even if it does cause shit in the remainin family #he thinks that his older (by 12 YEARS) brother is goin to be there (somehow alive) when he dies and I'm just questionin if he's goin to die #early or somehow before his brother dies when his brother is 65 right now and if Tobin plans to die at the age of 70 when he's 82 then-#that's fuckin nuts and hilarious that he doesn't understand maths like that #cause I don't think my uncle (his brother) wants to live till he's 82 or even in his 80s #but he's got a good 15 years to go (cause he's also REALLY healthy and not in Bad shape at all like Tobin is cause of his poor choices)#and I don't think Tobin wants to live another 15 years to only croak at 68 cause THAT'S young to die at #so this whole ramble in the tags of maths in shit is just a conclusion that his brother is definitely not goin to be at his funeral to hear-#me say that and I won't get in trouble by HIM but MAYBE my aunt who's 6 years YOUNGER than Tobin #BUT I DO WHAT I WANT AUNT FITTY AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM SAYIN THAT WHEN THE TIME COMES #sorry for the long ramble #ramble in the tags #I need to shut up #Shut up G #not DC #not DC related #personal #personal post

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ikram1909 · 2 months

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New Gavi challenge dropped!!!!!

#the “ah” when he messes up 😭😭#he's so cute #pablo gavi #baby waby #fc barcelona #MORE GAVI CHALLENGES PLEASE #i need him to do the balloons challenge so bad it'll be hilarious

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tio-trile · 9 months

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Did you hate the season 2 finale? Are you still looking forward for season 3 because of it or are you turned off of looking forward for any tv show good omens from now on?

What season 2 finale? Good Omens has never been adapted into a TV show. I love the book tho!

#I'm craaaaaaazzzzyyyyyyy ahahahahahahahaha #In seriousness to answer your question #Of course I hated it! Every book fan I know hated it!#The past few days has really sucked with miscellaneous Good Omens and also work stuff and it's just shit it's shit it's shit #I hope season 3 never happen now! I think it'll be hilarious that this is the final ending that show fans get :D #All my friends have been getting my full rant for the past few days #Anyways that was so bad and OOC I've been avoiding Tumblr for the past few days #Because every time I came on I have to fight back the strong urge to delete all my show Omens art #And I've promised myself I wouldn't delete my art under any circumstances before because I used to hate when artists I like did that #Anyways I'm not gonna delete art. But I probably wouldn't post anything Show Omens related from now on. Unfollow me if you want #good omens critical

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feroluce · 1 year

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When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.

Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.

He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.

They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.

Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.

Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.

Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.

It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.

It's an ear.

It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-

Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.

"Hey!"

Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.

"Kaveh, hey!"

The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.

His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.

Quicksand.

Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.

His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-

Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.

"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.

Kaveh is sinking.

Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.

Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.

"Do you believe in karma?"

The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-

Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.

Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.

He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.

He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.

He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.

He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.

Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.

Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.

"Kaveh? What are you doing?"

This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."

Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.

"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.

"Do you believe in karma?"

#genshin impact #haikaveh #al haitham #kaveh #kavehtham #these two have had me chewing concrete lately god #3.6 got me frothing at the mouth #something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart #and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby-#and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol #and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov #Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help #and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality #and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves #kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self*#al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this #or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other.#two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal #i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this #written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song #'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow'#'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption'#'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in'#'but he couldn't be saved'#'a sadness runs through him'#extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough #my fics #gore #body horror #I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case

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hella1975 · 9 months

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I CANNOT STAND YOU BITCHES

#rori for being the thing that pushed me over the edge. gloomy for starting this miserable process to begin with. aiaia for egging it on #and everyone else who watched silently rubbing your grubby little hands together #i am going to read the raven king by nora sakavic book no.2 in the infamous all for the game series #this WILL be detrimental to my mental health. i wish i was kidding #aftg #hella reads aftg #<- like last time pls block that tag if u want to avoid spoilers #rori i know you wont listen to me but consider blocking the tag as well like the real impact of aftg happens when you have NO fucking clue #what's happening or what's about to happen #but also ur defo gonna finish trk faster than me if it's anything like how you read tfc so maybe it'll be fine. who knows #keep sending me ur chapter commentaries tho bc they're hilarious. we can compare notes

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ssshh-im-a-secret · 1 month

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Me, at that one ex-friend who caused so much drama on her way out:

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trashcanwithsprinkles · 2 months

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Archon war anon

On Xiao being from Sumeru/Ashikai's video on the Yaksha - I actually came to the conclusion on the possible connection between Xiao and Sumeru on my own, before I saw anyone else talk about it because I've only really started looking for more theory stuff as opposed to just fic recently. It was pretty validating to see other people drawing the same conclusions! I actually originally drew a connection based on remembering the Aranara and their thing with dreams, and it was when I went back to check my sources that I remembered that all three of the Sumeru gods we know about had something to do with dreams. Even if Xiao is connected to Sumeru though, I don't think he's from Sumeru because Sumeru doesn't really seem to have the framework for the kind of beings that adepti are?

Also, as someone who's studies real life Indian religions, Sumeru really does have a lot of non-Indian influence, and even some of the parts where there are more explicit references to Indian stuff honestly feel kind of off?

yeah, even if there's interesting connections there, whenever i've considered the xiao-sumeru link it's always ended up in my mind as "maybe xiao's master originally came from sumeru" rather than "xiao is from sumeru", for mostly the same reason as you mentioned, yeah,,,

i'm not knowledgeable enough on india's culture or religion to really comment on the sumeru things, but even i can see that the desert is mostly egyptian, and i've seen people pointing out the different inspirations for some things, so like- it did always seem to me like sumeru was the hodgepodge of arabian/arabian adjacent stuff, fontaine and mondstadt were a bit more of a focused-still-kinda-hodgepodge of certain european countries, and then like. japan and china all on their own lmao

#i wonder if it'll feel equally 'off' as you put it when it natlan comes out #i wonder why that is #maybe it's the trynig to grab from so many different cultures at once that still like- share various cultural things? idk #mostly on the religion part i think. truthfully i don't know tbh #but yeah i wonder if natlan will feel the same for latam. bc it does seem like it'll be a mix of various things #at least if the art they posted was anything to go by. they had more than just aztec or mayan stuff there #also the leaks are saying the archon will be more spainard-adjacent? which- fucking hilarious if so #nobody expects the spanish inquisition #anyway #thank you <3 <3

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transingthoseformers · 10 months

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actually wait cybertronians being able to directly ping Bluetooth speakers allows us to commit so much chaos in general

*door slams open*

Starscream: wHO REQUESTED "Big Dick" IN MY ROOM AT THREE AM?!?!?

#that song despite the name and premise is oddly good #oh it'll definitely make you laugh but there are some very good lines in it #poor screamer tho. he didn't expect to be woken up by it at full volume #Starscream #maccadam #transformers #if tiktok is good for any it's introducing me to so much music that i otherwise wouldn't have found #whether it's finding a new genre or artist... or songs that are just fucking hilarious #it's a joyous day when i get to find a new one and immediately hunt it down on youtube music

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future-dregs · 1 year

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And so, Vash defeated his brother with the power of gay love, guns, and incomprehensible optimism.

Join us next week for - Knives Goes To Therapy (he's rabidly angry)

#Like seriously. When Knives wakes up he's gonna be so pissed it'll be hilarious #Vash the Stampede #Millions Knives #Trigun #Trigun 1998 #This was really good though I think they might've used their drama up a little bit before the climax #Still very satisfying and enjoyable 8/10 would definitely watch again #Chit-chat

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mozart-the-meerkitten · 1 year

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Another Wingfeather Saga incorrect quote I found in my docs:

Artham, wandering around a town with baby Kalmar in a baby carrier on his chest: Do you know what’s even cuter than one baby? *twirls around to reveal baby Janner on his back* Two babies! His fangirls: *incoherent shrieking* *Esben laughing from the bushes*

#the wingfeather saga #artham p wingfeather #esben wingfeather #janner wingfeather #kalmar wingfeather #esben put him up to it #'c'mon artham it'll be hilarious'#artham did not need much convincing #I headcanon that artham babysat janner and kalmar a LOT when they were tiny #every time esben and nia needed to do something they were like 'artham can you watch-' 'yes.'#artham is SO GOOD with kids and he loves them a lot #the real reason podo resents artham is because he never got to babysit his tiny grandkids because artham was always volunteering for it #never forget that artham canonically had fangirls

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months

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Reading Tsutsumi's Wikipedia page... I See... [<- hasn't connected shit]

and if we say yoko had tsutsumi in mind when findin someone to play jo !!!!!!!

#snap chats #if not absolutely hilarious coincidence....... lol..... lmao even....#personal ramble time OUGH i finally beat prime this morning #fun game.... ngl wasnt too big on all the backtracking i had to do- like at FIRST it's fun after getting shit #cause then its like 'oh i wonder what i can get access to now' but once you get everything THEN its like #Im Over It. but its not even that bad if you know the maps and elevators well #made me want to scream when i just wanted to fuckin Get Somewhere tho and i had a million things in my way 👁️👁️#not hard either but not overly easy either. i think the only hard bit as figuring out where to go at some points #since the game's INCREDIBLY vague on where you have to go and overall encourages exploration but i really like that #plus its not like they leave you TOTALLY in the dark: if you fuck around long enough it'll eventually tell you where to go lmao #i wont prattle on too much bout it this aint the blog for that SO BASICALLY tl;dr fun game :) i want the sequel....s...#but the third game is on wii and my wii and wii u are shot to shit and Lord Knows if there'll ever be a remaster for 2 and 3 so </3 #anyway. now i can binge stuff........#after i eat :^)

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casiavium · 11 months

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Currently having a mental crisis because there are people I knew in high school who probably still think of me as the Harry Potter girl. Crying

#my past haunts me #hilariously during my not like other girls hermione granger phase all I wanted to be was like sirius black #and now I kind if am and I'm like. bitch 😐#but I have to remind myself fanon sirius and jk's sirius are like. completely different characters at the point I liked them #harry potter had such an impact on my life I Can Never Escape. I am constantly taking psychic damage #at least in ten years it'll be really funny when I gaslight people at my high school reunion #yeah idk who that is. harry potter? like. the movies?#brb going to go read through the summaries of the wolfstar ao3 tag to remind myself why I moved tf on. other than jk herself #and I am still listening to a song that was on my marauders playlists 😭😭😭😭😭 I have repurposed it but right now all I can think of is #those bitches #AND IT'S EVEN PANIC! FUCK

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essektheylyss · 1 year

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my grandmother: who's calling?

my sister: your favorite granddaughter!

me: don't say that, you're gonna confuse her. we all know [cousin] is her favorite granddaughter.

her, loud enough for the phone to catch it: she is not! it's me! [mouthing] no you're right, it's [cousin].

#we know it's not me she told me to repent when i moved in with my then-bf out of wedlock. gasp.#hilariously the favorite granddaughter is a lesbian which she died not realize lol #but she's already been like 'she's gotta die before i bring a girl home or it'll kill her' lmaooo

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frecklystars · 6 months

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[starts sniffling and crying when seeing pictures of ryan gosling from the fall guy movie] oh ok it's that kind of night

#the ache in my chest... i dont know why it makes me teary #i should be looking forward to seeing a new ryan movie? to getting a new F/O?#so why am i crying huh why am i so sad that it's making me shed actual tears #is it because i'm worried it'll be just another F/O who i'm gonna afraid of? another F/O im conditioned to fear?#is it just gonna be another F/O that i've prematurely lost to my trauma? that i wouldnt be worthy of his love? or smth stupid like that #huh!!! what is it!!! i should be happy but its like a knife to the chest #vent #sorry i just needed to put this out into the void #i used to be so excited to get new F/Os but now it's like... it just hurts #I used to think 'oh! new bf/gf! kissed and thrown into the pile!'#now it's like 'oh. new person who would look at me and see someone so worthless'#i never used to be like this until i was abused and now its all i can do #i NEVER looked down on myself like this. i NEVER believed my F/Os would cast me aside #i never ever ever doubted that I'd be so wholeheartedly loved #but now it's all i know how to do #i don't even know his character's name and i'm already thinking he wouldn't love me back #that all of my pining isn't requited that all of my drawings and stories and animatics are so worthless #that all of my self ships are a joke. that all of my drawings and fics and animatics are a joke #that everything i've done to feel loved by these characters is hilariously incorrect #like who can possibly fathom that i am inherently lovable when im just used as. some. some punching bag #as my abuser put it. she's right. that's all im good for #my F/Os wouldnt see me as anything more

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chqnified · 7 months

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If you ever feel dim. Don't worry. I set off the security alarms trying to open up the office building. Because i was tapping the fob on the aircon/electric unit and NOT the security alarm deactivator

#it was horrendous #i was SHAKING like a leaf. i thought police would turn up and jump on me #i at one point thought. fuck. maybe if i shut the door lock it and put everything back it'll stop #and then i'll wait til 8am when someone else gets here. but then i thought what if it continues. and then i have to redo everything again #and still have to find the disabler. so i just spent 5mins with alarm full blare tryna find where to tap this fob too #thing is. nobody and i mean nobody was going to be at the office for a further hour.#'it's obvious the deactivator will be on your right' well. obviously not. it was on the right but on a corner bit of the wall #not right next to the door like expected where the other unit thing was.#it's fucking hilarious telling everyone now. but flipping hell in that moment i was strESSED #i had a feeling it'd happen. i joked about it in my office the day before. like lol imagine i get to london and fucking fuck it all up #well. i did.#i think it was just an alarm. or i did it in under the set time before it called the police.#anywayssssss #another story to add to the what makes up my personality book #in my defence it's not my usual office and i've been there only once before. but that time someone else had opened up #apparently my usual office building is even more of a nightmare. not surprised. if a small building was that bad. dread to think our one #our one for context is like 10× the size because of all the floors it has

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ryusaidate · 1 year

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i could do a lot more posting if not for the shame and agony. that's like the number one thing that stops me from posting. but coming in at a close number two is the fact that whenever i make anything it ends up being at least 3 times as long as i meant it to be.

stand-alone sketch? now 3 consecutive images

5 panel comic? 20 panel comic

stupid short 4-6 page comic just to get an idea out of my head? 30 pages go fuck yourself

this of course massively increases the amount of work i have to do to get something to a postable state. and it keeps happening.

#the last one is real by the way #i have the thumbnails in front of me. there's 30 of them.#i can't even post it to tumblr when it's done #unless you all promise not to report it.#it'll be like what happened to balder. but without the whole mistletoe arrow thing. just the everyone swearing not to hurt me part.#Bitches love me for my lack of posts & my hilarious topical and understandable references #stupidposting #burdened by blorbo thoughts #so so so many blorbo thoughts

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