#Sydney rambles | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glutominnn · 5 months

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Y'all ever thought about how Sydney change from being this innocent sweet church boy who don't even know what sex is, to an insatiable sex-crazed maniac who also constantly reminds you that you did this (whatever this is, depends on you) and pretty much gaslights that you have it coming to you.

The first time i played the game and corrupted him, I was flabbergasted by his sudden change in behaviors, although the player, us, is fully aware of our choices, the PC however, might not (again, depends).

The reasons why I find myself liking Sydney corrupted version isn't even about his constant craving for carnal pleasure and his openness about sexuality, but more like, I adore how even called "Corrupted", Sydney is very much still have conscience and a sense of rightessness in him, even showing worries for Whitney or Robin if they haven't show up at school. Pure!Sydney also have this, but the difference is, if Pure!Sydney is just gonna give you a pat on the back and tell you to hang on, Corrupted!Sydney will physically want to seek out the person who harmed you.

It's just make the whole Prayer room scene even more traumatic for PC, who would have thought Sydney, who is even no longer an innocent boy still normally very calm and level-headed, would physically beat you into submission if you don't let him have his way.

It's just... kinda felt like betrayal ya know? How he always tells you that you made him who he is, like he have every rights to do this, to have this like you OWNED him, a price to pay for the things you did (doesn't matter intentionally or not) to him. After all, he loved you, yes, but also I feel like living in a town like that have twisted his mindset and how he perceive if someone should take responsibility for his own sexual awakening, consented or not. It's just, really another level of fucked up when you think about it, but also expected since it's been clear you can never really have a completely normal and healthy relationship with any of the LIs in this game lmao

#degrees of lewdity #dol #sydney the faithful #sydney the fallen #dol sydney #sydney is so very complicated as a character and i can't help but rambling whenever i talk abt him #there's so much to interpret and discuss #second fav from ivory

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museofthepyre · 4 months

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Drawn to the Blood (CHNT animatic)

I don’t usually make animatics, but this song was too perfect. I might come back and ramble off my thought process behind it sometime. Take this whole thing as coming from his POV, a depiction of how (I think) he thought.

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plulp · 6 months

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heres yalls science teacher. have fun go crazy

#my art #dol #sirris the science teacher #sydney the faithful #i hope i drew him okay im a little weemp womp about the design but maybe its just my brain. playing tricks on me #but its so cute how sweet sirris is to sydney. so funny to me #i love to read FACTS on the wiki #oh also not intended to be ship esque but if youre into that feel free to interpret it that way i dont mind #anyways now that we have that out of the way the rest of the tags im just rambling as always #GOD its so hard to design. guys you dont understand im not a character designer #soon while we all watch me descend into the 'characters who dont actually have specific outfits'#youre going to see how bad my fashion sense is. legitimately horrible. i wear the same clothing formula every day #shirt. pants. done.#once we arrive in the They Can Wear Whatever They Want section of the characters #youre all going to be like hey. what the hell is that guy wearing #but its fine. its whatever. hopefully thisll all make me better at drawing. eventually.

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cosmic-light-fics · 10 months

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You can really tell how much Carmy doesn't want to lose Sydney again and how much he's had to change specifically for her. It was such a sucker punch to him in s1 ep7 when she quit. From the tension being as sky high as it was due to The Review, to Richie jabbing at Sydney every chance he got and provoking her even more during the to-go fiasco, to Carmy's pent up anger finally lashing out at Sydney and him reverting back to the commanding asshole that they had both decided was not going to be apart of their kitchen environment: all of that culminated into Sydney leaving and Carmy knew that if he had just handled that situation better, she would have never left.

He understands the value Sydney brings into the restaurant more than anyone. That's why he let her experiment with the new dinner menu and installed the to-go program even though he knew they weren't exactly ready for it. I think he loves how big of a dreamer she is, that's why he never truly refuses her. Case in point, when she brings up wanting a Michelin Star. He's totally against it and if he were running the business with anyone else but Sydney, you just know a star would be out of the question. But Sydney wants the star. He could have brushed the idea aside and never brought it up again, but he checks with her to make sure that it is something she genuinely wants and then when she confirms, he backs her 100%.

But he knows that he can still fly off the handle when things start to go awry, and I honestly think that is why he introduced the sign language to her. From all the times I watched that scene in ep.2, the moment didn't really call for it: he gave her the wrong measurements to the lacto ferment and it tasted awful. But when he explains that the sign means "Sorry," it's not about messing up recipes on accident, it's a "let's talk about this later" when two people are fighting. That's exactly how the sign is used from that point forward. Him introducing the sign is his way of improving for her, making sure that they can say sorry to each other without things escalating to the point of Sydney leaving. He won't have that happening again. He won't push her away like that again.

Him saying Sydney makes him better is one of the truest statements of this show. It's not even in a subtle way either. They could have had another incident like the to-go fiasco in s2 ep10 when he was riled up over the cold fish dishes. He was going to revert right back to the old ways of running the kitchen and then as soon as Sydney signs "Sorry" and firmly tells him to chill, he's so quick to cool down it makes my heart feel all warm and fuzzy.

Romantic, platonic or whatever type of connection Carmy and Sydney have, it's one of the best things about this show for me.

#i love rambling about them #carmy berzatto #the bear fx #the bear spoilers #sydney adamu #the bear #carmen berzatto #the bear hulu #carmy x sydney #sydney x carmy #chefs kiss

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puppietooth · 3 months

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hi these are some of my sydcarmy headcanons:

* i love reading fics where they both realize they like each other and then start furiously making out but. also. what if carmy asks syd out and she’s a little skeptical about it at first? but she agrees to go on the date anyway — and carmy takes her out to a little fancy joint by the river and is so nervous about messing up that his hands are so so so shaky and he can’t even pour the wine into their glasses right. so he fumbles through some half apology half speech about how he’s just really happy she’s here and how he really really really likes her and how he’s honestly glad that she was willing to give him a chance and how he’s very anxious because she looks so pretty in that dress she’s wearing. and syd realizes that, holy shit, he really does like her — and she thinks she really likes him too. so they wine and they dine and when the night is over he takes her home, walks her up to her door, and doesn’t kiss her because he says that’s something he’d like to do on the third date, if she’ll have him. and of course, she says yes, she would like to go on more dates with him — she says yes like he just proposed to her, because they’re so intense about everything they do.

* i think that syd and carmy, carmy especially, are the type of people to be vaguely private about their relationship. like, it’s very obvious that they are together, they won’t hide it — if you see them in person, if you see the way they look at each other, move with each other, the way they talk to each other, you will know that they’re together. they will casually mention each other in interviews and articles, refer to the other as their partner. but they will not post a million pictures of each other on social media, they are not that couple. there will be the occasional, slightly vague post — a picture of carmy in his chef whites, back turned to the camera, posted to syd’s instagram account to congratulate him on The Bear’s fifth year of service. A congratulations to chef sydney adamu on her james beard nomination tweeted to carmy’s twitter account. and if they ever do attain that level of fame, there will be the occasional pap shot of them walking back from a deli, or a farmer’s market (in true JAW fashion). but unless you’re close to them you’ll only see that surface level to their relationship

* i know that they’re roughly the same height but in my head sydney is just slightly taller than carmy, just by a few inches, nothing too big. carmy is not the type of person that cares about height, it’s not a big insecurity of his, and deep down, he finds the similarity in height between him and syd to be quite grounding and comforting. he likes being able to hug her and comfortably put his chin on her shoulder. he likes how it doesn’t feel awkward when they put their arms around each other, and how neither of them have to bend down or get on their toes to kiss each other.

* another thing i absolutely love in fics — when syd just gets the opportunity to talk about her hair. i don’t think carmy is ignorant, but realistically, he does not know about, for instance, the difference between 2b and 4c hair (as in, the labels) and how to care for 4c hair, which (i’m pretty sure) syd has. like, i think hair care would be such an important aspect of their relationship — syd teaches him about protective styles, tells him why she sleeps with a satin scarf wrapped around her braids, what silk presses are and why she has to spend a good twenty minutes wrapping it up each night before she goes to bed. and carmy helps her take her braids out, because four hands are faster than two, he helps her put twists in, helps her blow dry and comb it out the night before her next appointment. and sixth months into their relationship, he becomes a walking glossary — he will tell you what leave-in conditioner is, what edge control is for, why you shouldn’t buy cantu products, the textural difference between synthetic and human hair. and secretly, he thinks to himself, this will also be useful information for him to know if he and syd ever have kids one day because yes — carmy doesn’t do things halfway and he is already thinking that far ahead.

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #the brainrot is real #pj rambles

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cali-kabi · 3 months

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~ I’ve finished editing the two beginning chapters of my Mario and Kirby RPG fic >:D💫🌟I’ll post them on the 30th onto my A03 along with some art hehe. I’m so nervous I hope it all goes well.. ;w;🍄🌟

#sydney speaks #Sydney rambles

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sydneysdykelongings · 2 days

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need a dick in the same style as the doc ock robot arms

#sydney rambles

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ashersanity · 5 months

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whitney vs rapechester ville

whitney beefing with the entire town, hissing like an angry kitten because that’s literally what they are, a little bitch that I’d enjoy watching be put in their place. pasted from my reddit, so shitty, lazy rambles.

whitney vs low confidence!robin : yeah, whitney wins in this one. robin’s honestly too scared shitless to really do much against them, lets themselves get beat up before PC eventually intervenes.

whitney vs high confidence!robin : robin 100% They’re confident enough to stand up for themselves now and they literally sucker punched a full fledged bodyguard and made them pass out on the spot in that one scene. that’s like.. twice the strength of a max physique, large body type and sadistic PC. robin deals massive damage and wins easily.

whitney vs kylar : depends. they both like to play dirty in their own way if pushed far enough like in the cafeteria scene where whitney either wins or loses depending on who PC cheers for, but in the bully’s defence, they got kicked in the crotch while they were distracted. If we’re speaking strategic fighting, kylar probably wins. pure strength though? whitney definitely.

whitney vs pure!sydney : poor syd will be sobbing as Whitney crushes their glasses beneath their shoe, claiming that one shouldn’t fight back since everyone deals with their own battles in life. solemnly wipes their tears away right after. only time I can see them win is if it involves for PC’s sake and they completely snap.

whitney VS corrupted!sydney : this one’s difficult. I feel as though sydney is actually on par with whitney’s strength if they had fighting experience and whatnot. they were able to pull whitney over the counter in the library in that one scene with surprising boldness. I’m betting on sydney though because the motherfucker would be moaning from a punch alone and that just throws the delinquent off completely, striding away like they didn’t just hear that.

whitney vs bailey : bailey obviously. they’re built like a fucking brick wall and survived getting stabbed. totally sweeps the floor with the bully, leaving them bloodied and bruised up on the ground, nosebleed, broken teeth, fucked up face, you name it. just walks away right after since they have better shit to deal with and doesn’t like wasting time. whitney will still demand that kiss from you later though.

whitney vs eden : again, eden. they got like 600 or 800 health, I don’t remember. practically the strongest human NPC in terms of raw, physical strength. either way, whitney gets absolutely BODIED, thrown over the forest ground like a rag doll, offered as a chew toy to wolf!PC. The fuck are they going to do anyway? send their little delinquent friends to jump Eden? yeah, don’t think that’s happening unless they want their little gang to get murdered too.

whitney vs avery : usually whitney would win, y’know 70% chance and they also got the advantage of not caring if they make a scene in front of the whole town. depends if avery got rage maxed out, feel like it can get pretty serious from there when you deal with an enraged middle-aged adult. plus they can just run over the bully’s body with their super-expensive, worth more than whitney’s entire bloodline, car.

whitney vs leighton : yeah, it’s whitney. the old fuck doesn’t stand a chance against a bully that beats the living shit out of people for fun and snaps at the slightest provocation. doesn’t mean they entirely lose because they can make whitney’s life a living hell in more ways than one.

whitney vs alex : considering alex’s physique and the fact that they run an entire farm on their own with the help of PC, alex wins. slings whitney over their shoulder like they’re a stack of hay and feeds them to the pigs for food.

whitney vs black wolf and the great hawk : pretty self-explanatory on its own. it’s literal beasts against a school delinquent. they’ll rip the bully to shreds if they even dare try anything against them, but whitney’s an impulsive little shit that doesn’t back down regardless of the danger imposed, so’d they probably end up doing it anyway.

whitney vs wren : another L for whitney, it’s a grown adult versus a school student, they’re not doing shit and will only hurl insults at the smuggler that’s able to keep their cool unlike the others. gets sold off as cattle right after because it’s funny to think about cow!whitney.

i’d do more, but there’s too many NPCs to keep up with.

just the last category.

whitney vs sub!PC : depends if sub PC just relents to them like that, if yeah, they’re letting the bully dig their shoe into their crotch because it’s degrading like that.

whitney VS defiant!PC : PC absolutely. it’s not talked about enough of how much defiant!PC is an absolute menace in their dialogue that wouldn’t hesitate beating the living shit out of someone just for the sake of keeping their body unmolested.

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sinsofaries · 1 month

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How funny would it be if you were busy breaking into houses and accidentally break into some familiar individuals' homes.

Breaking into what looks like an old abandoned mansion at the edge of the woods... probably in search of leftover jewelries, right? Imagine the heart attack you give Kylar when you open their bedroom door.

"Oh hey, cool anime merc- is that a sex doll of me?"

God forbid you break into Sirris' home when Sydney's staying at the temple. You sneak in and scanning the room before you hear- oh god, is that Sirris? Sounds like they're having a good time... Anyways-

If Sydney is home? You better be quiet lest you get ambushed and bonked by them from behind. Pure!Sydney will apologise and scold you of course, but they'll make you feel very guilty about it. Corrupt!Sydney on the other hand, they'll apologise and chastise you a bit sure, but will probably point you to someome else's house instead.

It's late at night, most people should be asleep. Quick and easy, you think. Arriving in a room with a bunch of plushies on shelves and on the bed, nobody's there and you think "huh, must be a spoiled kid's room". The door creaks open and it's your turn to possibly get a heart attack.

It's Whitney with a glass of water in hand. Yeah you're not getting out of there unscathed, buddy. You're getting punished and staying the night.

I might add on to this with some other characters. For now I leave it as is

#i yapped too much...#degrees of lewdity #dol #kylar the loner #sirris the science teacher #sydney the faithful #sydney the fallen #whitney the bully #dol kylar #dol sirris #dol sydney #dol whitney #ramblings

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cruciomione · 5 months

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yin and yang: carmy and sydney's creative processes + menu planning

what i love about analyzing carmy and sydney is the way they mirror each other. their similarities and differences, and how they have the potential to complement each other well. truly make each other better at this.

this is most evident with the way they approach creating a dish.

sydney's creative process

evidenced by sheridan (s01e05) and sundae (s02e03), sydney is very imaginative when it comes to creating a dish. the editing in these episodes gives us an intimate view of her creative process. recipes often come to her in dreams/daydreams.

sydney gets inspired by her passion for cooking, her family history and her city/world around her (architecture, nature, other restaurants in Chicago). this really fits into sydney's motivations as a chef.

Sydney uses food to make people happy. She likes to take care of people. someone on here explained the significance of sydney wanting exactly one michelin star, which would signify affordable high quality food that normal everyday people have access to. in braciole she mentions to marcus that her dad and her didn't really go out to eat so when they did, they made it count and it was special. she wants to create an experience like that with her own spot (the Bear).

so naturally that is reflected in her food. its not simply a great meal, but a fabric/archive of her culture, history, worldview and entire character.

while sydney has a very imaginative creative process, she often just jots down her ideas in her little notebook(s), for later reflection.

carmy's creative process

carmy has a more tense relationship with cooking. while sydney and carmy are both amazing chefs, carmy seems to be more jaded and detached from his work.

for carmy he grew up in a household where food was a big part of his family. his mom, mikey, and nat can all cook well. he is naturally very great at it. he uses food to be closer to the people he loves. thats why in the face of rejection from his brother, he goes off and becomes one of the best chefs in the country out of spite. why he uses the beef to try and fix his relationship with mikey. why he was so devasted when syd quit and why he started his dream restaurant with her after she came back.

because we dont get an intimate look into carmys psyche when creating a dish, its harder to say but based off his monolouge in braciole (s01e8) and the way he uses food to connect with people he loves rather than having passion for it independently i can surmise that carmy isn't imaginative as sydney. food is more like a math equation (ironic)/a science.

“he’s the best bc he didn’t have any of the bullshit”, emotional ties/relationships of any kind. his career esp at EMP were isolating, rigid and cold. he was the best bc he was calculating, precise and competitive. which breeds excellence in his field while straying him further away from love and true passion.

i imagine carmy to be more pragmatic with creating a dish.

but carmy is a creative person at his core and while creating a dish might not be as colorful as when sydney does it. we do know that carmy can draw and visualize his ideas onto paper. "Sistine Chapel" level drawings according to syd.

sydney + carmy - potential true partnership

on my 3rd rewatch, i couldn't help but feel so dissatisfied with their partnership. granted this is on purpose since the show is only 2 seasons in and they are trying to do a slow burn in all aspects, not just romantic.

it really hit me that carmy and sydney have never - at least on screen - created a meal together. in s1, we never see the risotto come to fruition, we just get carmys input but never the finished product. in s2 finally, carmy and Sydney work together now that their dynamic has changed from boss and employee to partners. we get like what? 4 scenes of them creating the menu, and having this amazing professional chemistry but ultimately leads to two failed dishes, which would be ok if they worked together after that. but they dont...

instead for the rest of the season, we see them (mainly Syd) working on the menu separately. the menu is....alright. mainly has carmy written all over it (he has a the seven fishes + cannolis, weird homage to one of the worst nights of his life).

*putting on another pair of shipper goggles to say this makes the whole "you make me better at this" confession, even more mind-boggling bc better at what? you guys haven't even worked together all season. this = life , i rest my case*

in s3 and beyond, im excited for them to truly start working together as partners and actually see them create a dish together.

i want to see how their approaches to creating a dish can help the other.

how sydneys creative process can help carmy

besides the obvious romantic implications of the palette cleanser outing, the potential for them to understand each other on a deeper level in regards to food is something i mourn everyday.

after sydney goes on her trip solo, we see her ride the ferry and just take a look at her surroundings. shes thinking about the food she ate, shes looking at buildings, windows, looking at the snow. all inspiration for a dish.

imagine if carmy was there with her. he would be curious about what she's thinking about, get insight on how she creates and maybe want to learn to see food in a less practical way.

i mean he hadn't drawn in years it seems until he was inspired by sydney and the chaos menu to draw again....now imagine if he didn't ruin the moment by bringing up claire (LMFAO). the point is, sydney naturally sparks creativity and passion in him, even when they aren't together.

i know many people are theorizing that carmy will leave the culinary industry (and i agree most of the time) but i also think sydney is slowly but surely helping him discover/re-discover a passion for cooking. i think that carmy likes that sydney likes to take care of people because subconsciously he knows he does the same thing or has the potential for it (i.e making tiff sprite from scratch when she was experiencing morning sickness). evidenced by fishes (s02e6), care often feels like an obligation (he takes care of drunk donna when shes going through an episode) but it doesnt have to be this way. and now carmy wants to get a star for her....their interests are slowly aligning.

how carmys creative process can help sydney

this isn't as concrete as the one above but i found it interesting thinking about how carmys more pragmatic approach and sydneys idealistic approach can work in tandem.

first scene in pop (s02e5) shows sydney and tina late at night working on the tasting menu. later in the episode we find out that carmy has been pushing back menu planning leaving sydney on her own. she trying an elements concept which is extremly creative and impressive but even tina says, which sydney later agrees, that its a lot for a tasting menu.

im stretching maybe....but based on carmys comment on her risotto from the season before (needs acid) + his practical approach, it seems like he acts like a buffer when sydneys ideas get "a lot".

*in chemistry buffers are solutions added to resist pH changes when acidic and basic components are added*

so if carmy needs to be more creative and sometimes sydneys ambitions gets ahead of her....

sydney is the heart, while carmy is the brain (???)

one cannot work without the other. when they truly come together to create the menu, they both need to learn from one another to elevate the restaurant. not to mention with carmy's italian american roots and syd's Nigerian-Caribbean/southern roots, they have the potential for amazing fusion dishes and real partnership. i and others want the menu to physically reflect both of them.

conclusion

i literally dont know where im going with this. sorta kinda meta but its more like hopes and dreams for next season and me wanting to type my ideas down.

they complement each other well ok? and have potential for a great partnership once they communicate better. i like this part of the definition of yin and yang: Their interaction is thought to maintain the harmony of the universe and to influence everything within it.

carmy and Sydney are the leaders of the bear, their relationship is foundational to the success of their restauarnt and team, once they work together truly, play to their strengths and weaknesses, then will come true harmony in their universe.

bonus

more sydcarm parallels/similaries/differences/yin yang moments:

carmys gold chain, syds silver earrings

carmys white t-shirts, syds white button ups

carmy is bad at math, syds great with numbers

carmy wasn't really great at school, this is sorta fanon but i can imagine syd excelled in school

both wear birkenstocks (more a chef thing but i still think its cute)

sunshine x grumpy trope but like better...usually the sunshine (syd) is more emotionally vulnerable making a space for grumpy (Carm), but they switch positions. carmy allows sydney to be more emotionally vulnerable often initiating deep conversations, while syd is more closed up/guarded

overall tho i think its cute that they are both shy/emotionally stunted but i do think purely aesthetic wise, sydney has a softer exterior ( doe eyes, colourful scarves, awkward) while carmy is more intimidating (tats, smokes, looks angry all the time)

both fight dirty - i.e their individual fights with richie (review, the bear)

carmy tho is more prone to outbrusts of anger/violence while sydney lets that shit shimmer until she explodes on you

both their passcode being 11111

carmy having dark mode on his phone, syd having light mode in s2

their matching clothes moments earlier in the second season and in bolognese

if theres more, pls comment/reblog, bc i always think of this shit and need more to cry about

fin!

credits: gif 1&2 , gif 3 and gif 4

#the bear #sydcarmy #the bear fx #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #sydcarmy meta #carmen x sydney #chefs kiss #its so late man i dont even care if this doesnt make sense im rambling #the bear meta

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museofthepyre · 4 months

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Thinking abt Elijah and Jedidiah again, I’ve said a lot of it before, but I’m expanding here (finale spoilers btw):

I think Jeddie and Elijah were intentionally written to represent the opposing extremes of unhealthy love/ affection. It’s a symbolic parallel, they’re complete opposites in terms of attachment style… but they’re united in the fact that they’re both hurting Sydney (the subject of their feelings).

Jedidiah embodies cold, distant, withdrawn and purely behind the scenes love-

And Elijah embodies obsessive, love-bombing, all consuming and suffocating love.

Through this lens,

They both saw Sydney suffering and without consulting him (WITHOUT GIVING HIM A SAY!!!) took it upon themselves to help- but their fucked up perceptions of love lead their solutions to being… naturally… fucked up.

There’s even symbolism in the WAY they both tried to help (…had Sydney die).

Jedidiah wanted to end Sydney’s suffering. He would have Sydney die a lonely, cold, quiet death in the sterile environment of a hospital- then he’d bring him back in body, hoping that he’d return healthy again (the rose tinted memory of the old friend he loves)

Elijah wanted to end Sydney’s suffering. He would have Sydney die in a passionate roaring flame, surrounded by a crowd of feverous celebration- then he’d bring him back in spirit, hoping it’d bring him eternal peace and rest (the mirage of the deity-like figure he loves)

That is like the most blatant metaphorical representation of this whole thing imo. The mode of death represents their destructive love, and how it’s killing Sydney. Like, literally. But when it happens, they both wholeheartedly believe they’re doing this FOR Sydney, to “help” him.

AND THIS BRINGS ME TO MY OPINION ABT ELIJAHS INTENTIONS:

I’ve always interpreted Elijah as being entirely, legitimately convinced of everything he said. Like, through the lens of his own incredibly warped and distorted perception of “love”, he genuinely thought he was doing what was best for/ “helping” Sydney.

He had it in his head that he loved Sydney, none of that was a knowing lie, it was real to him— but his reality was… again, distorted.

And it’s written in a way which highlights how HORRIBLY UNHEALTHY that warped perception is. It mirrors how Jedidiah’s starkly contrasting ways are showcased as unhealthy, despite him too thinking that he was doing what was best for Sydney. Neither go excused, or sugar coated, the point being: to show how neither extreme is good.

Beyond their skewed actions,

They both wanted to resurrect a Sydney that didn’t exist. The Sydney Jedidiah wanted back had withered away,, Sydney’s sickness was more than physical, it had roots in his mind and memories. Jedidiah had left him feeling abandoned for so long that it’d take more than a simple reset to heal their rift. But he didn’t know how to do that, he didn’t know how to be close, and he was too wrapped up in his self- flagellation to actually break down the walls he’d built.

And Elijah’s version of Sydney was a total idolization. He was never self aware enough to realize he was a large contributor to Sydney’s suffering in the first place. He was too wrapped up in the thrall of his own delusions to realize how scary and confusing this all would be for Sydney. (I say delusions bc I think… they were/gen. Coming from someone who’s BPD-spawned delusions get similarly obsessive and convincing… I have a whole other tangent on this for another day)

This isn’t an Elijah apologist message btw, nor is it a Jedidiah apologist message— I just think this depth is an important part of the overall message- you can love someone and hurt them every second of it, if there’s no balance- a line between the two extremes!! I think we are seeing Jedidiah starting to find that line- he was actually listening to Sydney by the end of it all. Elijah… is still stuck in his head.

#ramblings #camp here and there #chnt #camp here & there #ch&t #sydney sargent #sydney o sargent #elijah volkov #the elephant man #pink elephant man #jedidiah a a martin #jedidiah martin

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cryobabyy · 3 months

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Syd's pink pants and notes on color theory

So I got a comment on my fic (chapter 3) about my use of the color pink. For context: The scene in the fic features Carmy having a distracted internal monologue while in a therapy session in which he thinks about his plans to meet up with Syd after. He mentions the pink cargo pants she wore in s2e2. Later on in the fic, he mentions pink again while on the brink of a panic attack.

Anyway, I got a comment today mentioning the use of pink as a symbol for something, which reminded me of why I used it as a literary device in the first place.

I remember watching s2e2, seeing Syd's pink cargos, and being OBSESSED with the juxtaposition. Carmy is such a heavy character. He's usually wearing dark, muted, or plain colors to reflect that. It's a very utilitarian, no fun, no-nonsense kind of look.

Carmy's apartment is equally as bleak. No color, no decorations, almost no personality. It's clearly just the place he sleeps at. And one can imagine that Carmy's apartment isn't a place of refuge for him either. Like, imagine dealing with the aftermath of your estranged brother's suicide, it's a shit show, you come home to an empty apartment, and you wake up and do it again. There's no warmth or homeyness. Syd notices the first time she comes over too.

So the fact that Syd came into his personal space wearing such a quintessentially soft, gentle, and comforting color felt like an intentional choice by the costume department. Like there is nothing more airy and playful than a pink pant!! Plus a fun patterned tote, and a blue bag!! She brings such a brightness to the scene, and (by extension) Carmy's world. She breathes life into an otherwise lifeless space. It's also the first time we see Carmy truly relaxed in his own space, and it's because of the energy and aliveness Syd adds to it.

Anyway, I wanted to portray Carmy as subconsciously associating those adjectives with Syd. Like even as he's on the brink of a panic attack, Syd cuts through the heaviness with her pink pants. Her pinkness grounds him!!!

#psychotic rambling #pls do not show this to my therapist #i will be admitted to a psychiatric institution #sydcarmy #carmy x sydney #chefs kiss #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #SYDENY ADAMU IS A LOVER GIRL #SHE IS OBJECTIVELY A SWEETHEART!!!#ARGUE WITH THE WALL IDC #PINK PANTS FOR THE CUTEST CHEF IN CHICAGO!!!

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