#Sydney breaks what she's doing and connects with Carmy. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aliensupastar · 6 months

Text

i wouldn’t ask you

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Carmy Berzatto/GN!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: You try to break your promise. Carmy won’t let you. Follow-up to “shouldn’t feel like a crime”

Part I Part II

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, depiction of an eating disorder, food issues, heart-to hearts, arguments, swearing

A/N: once again, thank y'all so much for the love on parts one and two of this fic, it brings me so much joy!! also, im terribly sorry for how long it took to write this. school happened and i think it got away from me a little bit, i did a lot of rewrites, and it's shorter than i'd like it to be but it’s something i’m finally satisfied with, and i hope you guys enjoy it! to anyone who’s sent me asks, left comments or replies telling me they connected with this fic, i hope it continues to bring you comfort as it has for me. i can’t express to you enough how much all your responses have meant to me. this will be the last part for this lil series, but im grateful to anyone who’s read n supported it. title insp by "i wouldn’t ask you" by clairo, gif by riickgrimes <3

Logically, you know that healing — if that’s what you could call what you were trying to do — isn’t linear. You’ve heard it a thousand times, and on some level, you know it’s true. Knowing it doesn’t stop the shame you feel when you start skipping the train, opting instead to walk, or on shittier days, run to work.

At first you thought you’d been able to escape the anxiety that came with eating anything you didn’t know the exact calorie count of, that you’d been able to eat Carmy’s spaghetti without complication. In retrospect, it had merely been delayed, the calm and warmth afforded to you by Carmy’s presence wearing off as soon as you’d gotten into bed that night; you’d laid awake for another hour, paralyzed by your own panic.

The only solution you found fit was to force yourself into physical activity, making your travel to and from work ten times more miserable, waking up an hour and a half earlier than usual just to get to the restaurant on time and still have ten minutes to freshen up and change into your uniform. You at least managed to make the change in your routine go unnoticed, still looking presentable once it was time to open for service, or at least you thought so.

“Did you run here?” Sydney asks one morning, spotting you right as you clocked in and rushed to your locker to pull out your uniform.

“Uh, yeah, I did.” You’re a little too breathless to come up with an excuse, to properly deflect her concern and surprise.

“Okay…” She watches as you shove your other belongings into the locker space haphazardly. “Does that, like, happen often, or-“

“No,” You say, too quickly, shaking your head. “Just, uh, don’t tell Carmy?”

You look up at her, eyes pleading, hoping she accepts this one request without question, hoping she can disregard something just this one time.

“Tell Carmy what?” Hearing your boss’s voice makes you jump in shock, as he comes around the corner and spots you, hair messy and sweat still dripping down your temple.

Your skill for being unnoticeable is escaping you, that much is clear. You’re essentially caught red-handed, a deer in headlights, eyes bouncing between Sydney and Carmy as you struggle to come up with something, anything to respond with. But Sydney swoops in just seconds after you freeze, granting you mercy, this one time.

“Tell you to mind your own business, chef,” She says, her tone light-hearted so that you know to force out a laugh, and Carmy takes it. He gives a half-smile and shakes his head, heading over to his prep station and as soon as he’s out of sight, you look back at Sydney.

“Thank you,” You whisper as you head for the bathroom, uniform in hand, and she nods, still looking concerned but thankfully, dropping it.

Carmy’s the one who won’t drop it. It stays on his mind all day, even after you’ve changed clothes and fixed your hair and erased any trace of the mess you looked that morning; every free moment he has, he spends thinking of you.

He wants to believe that you’d simply missed your train. An innocent, easy mistake. But the way you avoid meeting his eyes during service hours, no matter how many times he tries to get your attention, or get you to just look at him and confirm that you’re okay, tells him it’s more than that.

He rushes through closing duties that night, just to make sure he’s good to leave before you finish closing up the front with Richie. He waits, sits in his office chair pretending to be busy until he sees you heading for the lockers, ready to clock out, and then moves to lean as casually as possible against the doorway.

“You want a ride home?” He asks, interrupting you as you pull clothes out from the locker; the clothes you were wearing this morning, he realizes, a sweatshirt and biker shorts. Like you expect to break a sweat on the way home, too.

“Nope. Thank you, chef, I’m good.” You barely even look over at him as you say it, and Carmy has to stop himself from making a face, making his displeasure visible.

“I really don’t mind,” He tries again, but you just close your locker door and shake your head, ready — and desperate — to change out of your uniform in the bathroom before it’s time to lock up. You put on what you hope is an easy smile, but it comes off tense.

“I’m okay, Carm, really. It’s not like it’s raining-“

“Chef,” He interrupts you, suddenly stern. “C’mon.”

He nods his head motioning for you to follow him, and it’s clear from his tone that there will be no room to argue.

You trail behind him while he locks up, and on the way out to his car, you can feel that frustration building up inside you again. The same resentment and irritation you felt in the hospital, when he wouldn’t take your bullshit excuses in the same way that nurse or your other coworkers would, it rises and rises till you’re gripping your backpack strap a little too tight and shutting the car door a little too hard.

You’re grateful, at the very least, that he says nothing when tears start to spill out and down your face as he drives you home.

You sit in silence for a minute when Carmy pulls into your building’s parking lot. You can’t bring yourself to leave at first, part of you still craving to savor his presence for as long as you can, even if the other part of you is too angry to even look at him.

“You wanna talk?” He asks quietly.

“Nope.” His question is enough to set you off, pushing the car door open and furiously wiping away your tears as you haul yourself out.

Logically, Carmy knows it might be best to leave you alone for tonight. Let you calm down and attempt reconciliation tomorrow morning. Knowing it doesn’t stop the feeling that he can’t just leave you alone, and let you walk away upset.

“Hey,” He calls out, opening his own door and moving to follow you. “C’mon-“

“Fuck you, Carmen.” You spit out.

He’s undeterred, even if you don’t turn back to face him once, refusing to acknowledge him tailing you the entire way up to your apartment.

You don’t tell him to leave you alone, to stop following you, to fuck off. You don’t even slam your front door in his face like he half-expects you to. Instead it hangs open as you storm into your living room, a silent invitation. An invitation Carmy doesn’t hesitate to accept, stepping through your door and carefully closing it behind him.

He’s still wracking his brain on what to say, clueless on how to stop the tears flowing down your face as you toss your backpack down and meekly lower yourself to sit on the floor between your couch and the coffee table, knees pulled into your chest.

“Will you just fuckin’ talk to me?” He finds himself pleading with you again after a minute, but his helplessness in the face of your distress makes his words come out callous, and you just scoff.

“Don’t be a dickhead, Carmy.”

“I’m a dickhead? I-I’m the dickhead, for giving a fuck?” You lift your head to glare at him, and you can see that he wants to match your anger; all the tell-tale signs of an upcoming screaming match appearing in his features, scrunching up his face as he repeats your words back to you, and you know you’re not being fair. You promised him you’d let him in, allow him to help stop you from going off the deep end again, and yet you’re the one resisting him. You wish he’d let the frustration on his face overtake him, walk out your door and leave you alone with your mind.

He doesn’t, no matter how much you will him to. His eyes meet your own, filled with misplaced ire, and all he does is lean his head back and sigh, running a hand over his face and forcing himself to curtail the urge to give in to your bait.

“You don’t wanna talk, I’ll talk,” He starts tentatively, before saying maybe the last thing you’d expect: “I’m sorry.”

Your narrowed eyes widen, the contempt in them turning to pure shock, but he barely notices.

“I didn’t mean to- if I went too far, the other day, with the spaghetti. I didn’t mean to set you off like that. I’m sorry.” The absolute sincerity in his voice as he apologizes for something you know isn’t on him — it’s too much.

You’d love to pass the blame off on somebody else. If you could find a single other person to hold accountable for causing the near-constant state of discomfort that you’ve been stuck in for weeks, the distress of living in your own body, you think you’d jump at the chance. But you can’t bring yourself to do it to the one person who’s offered to take the fault away from you, because even now, after you’ve lashed out at him, he’s deliberately gentle with you.

You can see Carmy is ready to move towards your front door, you’ve sat here for too long without giving him a response, weeping silently. And maybe that would be the right thing to do after breaking your promise, letting him worry over you till he thinks he’s the one who owes you an apology. But selfishly, you reach up and grasp his arm before he can even turn to leave, gently tugging him down to sit with you, and he lets you.

“I’m sorry,” You start once he’s settled next to you, your voice still thick with tears. “I know what we talked about in the hospital. I haven’t been- I fucked all that up, I know, I’m sorry.” He’s shaking his head, looking like he wants to refute you, but you continue on.

“I just… I’m so fucking scared,” You nearly choke on your words, but it’s a relief to get them out, and suddenly you can’t stop the rest from spilling from your mouth. “I’m scared of getting better. I can’t stand the thought of it, I don’t even- I don’t know what I’d be for, if I wasn’t like this all the time. And it’s fucking embarrassing. That’s all I feel, all the time, just- constant fear, and shame. I can’t fucking stop myself.”

You take a pause, doing your best to breathe deep and avoid Carmy’s intent gaze, so you don’t lose your nerve.

“We were good, for a bit, and I wasn’t so… out of control. But then I fucked it, and I-I couldn’t just, tell you. Felt like, for once there was someone who understood, and I just wanted to keep the rest of it out of sight, I guess.”

It’s the most you’ve expressed to anyone about this. You think maybe you’ve gone too far, that maybe now you’ll have alienated the one person you’ve been honest with in years. But when you finally look up at Carmy, he’s nodding thoughtfully, no trace of judgment or pity in his expression.

“I don’t.” He says carefully. “I don’t really understand. I-I don’t think I could, uh-” He pauses, clasping one hand over the other tightly, like it pains him to force his words out, too. “I guess, growin’ up, food was basically a love language. It was how I bonded with Mikey, it’s why I wanted to do this job in the first place. So, to avoid food… I don’t think I can imagine what that’s like.”

All you can do is nod. You shouldn’t have made him listen to you vent your emotions, you should’ve let him walk out your door-

“But, I’d like to try. If that’s what you want.” He says, interrupting your spiral. “I just need to know you’re safe. Shutting me out like this – it’s bullshit. I’m not gonna just- stop caring. Even if it’s ugly. Just don’t shut me out.”

His earnestness practically shoots you in the chest, filling you with that warm, familiar feeling that usually comes with his presence. You want to push against it, you haven’t earned it back, it’s too damn much.

“Even if I… end up in the hospital again?” You say, trying to keep your tone light, but you can’t keep the pleading out of your voice.

“I’d drive you to the hospital a hundred times.” Carmy replies, completely genuine, and now you can’t push back against the urge to throw your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.

You don’t know how long you sit there, on the hard floors of your living room, arms tight around each other, breathing together. All you know is that you don’t want him to leave; he makes no move to go.

a few people asked to be tagged on this part, so here you go! @rexorangecouny @moonlight-sonata99 @kpopgirlbtssvt

#carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmy berzatto angst #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #hurt/comfort #angst #my writing #the shrimp that fried that rice

466 notes · View notes

miredball · 9 months

Text

sydney and carmy established relationship headcanons:

carmy’s a pet name guy. he’s been weaned on pet names his whole life (‘bear’ ‘sugar’ one could argue ‘cousin’). he uses the typical ‘baby’ for syd, which she loves, but one morning she walks into the office and upon seeing her carmy murmurs a “hey honey” and she gets flashes of a kitchen with a window over the sink, an herb garden, something warm and expanding and joy joy joy

they get found out by the rest of the staff at family. well, it’s a series of family dinners. they start sitting next to each other, then carmy’s arm is on the back of her chair and syd’s rubbing his back after he chokes on some rapini. what confirms it for everyone though happens on a lull in the conversation so everyone hears it. sydney needs something from the kitchen and as she’s getting up, for the bit, carmy motions to scoop the last piece of marcus’ take on a pandan chiffon cake out of her plate. she turns to him with a quickness and a huge fake grin and says “carmen, I will literally fucking kill you” as she backs away, to which carmy laughs (laughing!? carmy?!). then he puts his own slice on her plate. richie and nat share a look and the noise at the table comes roaring back to life before carmy realizes it even left. shouldn’t spook those bears.

they move in together and both feel really good with sharing everyday life with someone else. they go to farmers markets and change the garbage under the sink and get a drawer for carmy’s vintage denim. they leave notes on the fridge, much like they do on the whiteboard at work. there’s photos and take-out menus and also vague post-it notes from syd like ‘quail eggs!!!!!! not real’ or ‘break into 45th and Syracuse – man in farmer hat (durian connect??)” and lame weird inspirational quotes from carmy “There’s no one thing that’s true. It’s all true❤️” and sydney’s like what and just thinks they’re funny and doesn’t really make sense but loves him a lot

when carmy can’t sleep he makes sure the blankets are warm around syd and hangs out by the open window for a smoke. he doesn’t smoke as much as he did before and he’s working on cutting it down. sometimes syd wakes up and comes out the bedroom to find him and says “carmy” and sleepily perches on his lap, arm around his shoulder and curls her head into the crook of his neck. her fingers hold onto his gold chain and he stubs out his cig and plays with her hair instead.

#they’re loving!!! Theyre literally just loving #this is after carmy starts therapy and starts to feel better about life btw #writing this bc I miss headcanon culture #we used to be a proper country #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #sydney x carmy #sydcarmy headcanons #the bear fx #the bear season 2

523 notes · View notes

ciaonicole85 · 4 days

Text

Part 2: What Then?

I promise I have a life, but I couldn't help writing part 2 today! This takes place the same day as the "Development Day" when Syd and Carmy are thrown off by each other's answers during an ice breaker activity. Post-season 2. Feel-good fluff.

Photo Credit @drrav3nb / drrav3nb.tumblr.com

"So those are the menu changes for Chicago Restaurant Week. If you have questions, feel free to ask me or Chef Sydney. You should also have an email from Natalie by later today. Okay, let's prep for night service!"

Carmy closed the meeting, grateful that it was finally over. He was no longer afraid of public speaking after rising in the ranks of various kitchens, but his mind was not in this ever since the ice breaker. He, Carmen Berzatto, had made Sydney's favorite meal ever? The last time he prepared the pork confit and the Milk and Honey dishes she mentioned was several years ago. Back then he was at Eleven Madison Park, a rising star on the culinary scene, who chain-smoked, slept 3 hours a night, and was berated by the EC daily. It was a nightmare peppered with flashes of genius. He was dying to ask her about it, but before he could get her attention Sydney had slipped into the kitchen.

He stared disappointed at the window that separated the dining area and kitchen.

"Hey Bear, what's up with you?" Richie said sidling up to him trying to follow his gaze.

"Nothing cousin."

"Yeah, right. I missed when it happened, but it seems like you crashed and had to reboot during the meeting. Then you were lost in Sydney-land. Want to talk about it?"

Carmy rubbed his eyes and raked his hands through his hair. When he used both hands, Richie knew without a doubt he had hit on something.

"First, cool it about Syd. That handout you gave us was really cute. And yes, there's something on my mind, but it's not for me to say."

Richie grinned and rubbed Carmy's shoulder.

"Fine, just get your head together because tonight is going to be loaded and it includes three anniversaries and a birthday. And second, you need to cool it about her or do something. It's like I'm living in The Wonder Years with Kevin and Winnie."

"What?"

"Oh, right. That's probably before your time. Kids!"

With that Richie sauntered over to the host stands to strategize with the wait staff and hosts.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Sydney who had a thousand things to do, was adding at least a hundred more onto her plate. She didn't want to appear like she had a moment to spare. She and Carmy could talk at the end of the night as usual, without any eavesdropping. This would also give her time to think of an explanation as to why she never mentioned eating at Eleven Madison Park and that she wasn't a stalker who followed him to The Beef. To top off this awkward sundae, Carmy casually admitted his favorite part of the day was closing, the only time they are alone every day. She hoped no one else had connected the dots on that last part.

The afternoon and the night never went quicker to her chagrin. Even when one of the line cooks was sent home due to illness and a large group put in an order for 7 Fishes two minutes before tickets closed, she thought the night couldn't last long enough. Fortunately, Carmy seemed resigned to waiting and didn't look at her more than usual. In a flash service was over and no one was in the mood to hang around. By 11:00pm Sydney had cleaned her station for the third time and forced herself to go to Carm's office. He sat there pretending to do busy work, patiently waiting like a child who consoled himself that his parents wouldn't make him wait too long to open his Christmas presents.

"Hey Syd...it was a good night," he said softly not wanting to scare her away.

Sydney nodded and took a seat. Might as well get it over with it.

"Okay, yes. You made the best meal I've ever had. During a break at the CIA, I went to NYC and ate everywhere on my list, including Eleven Madison Park. It was a Wednesday night and I ordered several things including pork confit and Milk and Honey."

Sydney couldn't help closing her eyes and smiling at the memory. Her guard began to slip.

"Carm, it was like tasting my future and the best part of my past at the same time. I asked the waiter who made those dishes and he said Carmen Berzatto."

Carmen leaned forward on the desk. Whenever Sydney praised him, he felt like a cactus in an unexpected downpour. He wouldn't waste a single word. Her sunny existence and her belief in him sustained him during his dry seasons. He reached for her whenever he looked at the debt they still owed Uncle Cicero, when his mother finally visited The Bear and cried saying that he had erased Mikey, and even when their success seemed too good to be true.

Sydney opened her eyes to find him looking at her in the way he had. It was terrifying because she had a very specific plan for her career. It also thrilled her, knowing the power she had over him. Five months ago, she had been begging for his focus and now she knew every her mood, glance, and word she spoke impacted him. Once for the fun of it during a slow night she stared at him until she drew his attention and smiled. He blushed, smiled back, came towards her without saying "corner", and crashed into one of the servers, sending three Michael cannoli to the floor. That was three months ago when she first realized something was going on with him. She'd refused to abuse her power since, going so far as to convince herself that she was overestimating his feelings. Then he said the best part of his day was closing. She hoped, well sort of hoped, that they could maintain this close, but not too close partnership and friendship without complications.

After a long pause Carmen sighed and sat back in his chair.

"So, how did you find me?"

"Well, like I said when we met, it was the job posting. I recognized your name and also The Beef from my dad taking me here."

She shrugged thoughtfully.

"It felt like it was meant to be. It gave me hope for the first time since Sheridan went under."

He nodded.

"It's really strange. You came here because I inspired you and the only reason, I felt capable of attempting something this big was because of you" he said gesturing to the ceiling.

"Yeah?" Sydney whispered.

"Yeah."

He stood up and walked around to sit on the desk facing her. Now, Sydney felt vulnerable looking up at him. It was so easy for him to unnerve her when he spoke this way, like under the table.

Carmy took one her hands and after a moment brought it to his lips.

"Thank you for telling me, Syd. It means a lot."

Sydney was unable to speak. Her throat had closed.

"Soon, is your one year work anniversary and I think we should celebrate."

She nodded.

Carmy set her hand down.

"It's late. I'll drive you home."

With that they left the office, gathered their stuff, and walked to his car in silence.

As they drove, Sydney attempted to talk herself down. Was that hand kiss, an Italian thing? Possibly. It also seemed like Carmy decided to do...something, but what? Worse, she was feeling like they had traded positions in mere seconds. She'd enjoyed having the upper hand. Oh, well. With a goodnight's rest she'd be back in form tomorrow. Maybe "accidentally" brush past him, or ask him to lift something heavy for her and comment on his strength. Then it would be game over for poor Carmy bear. For now, she wouldn't worry about the work anniversary. It was probably just going to be a cake Carm commissioned Marcus to bake.

Probably.

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #sydney adamu #fan fiction #syd adamu #carmy x sydney #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #they are so cute

58 notes · View notes

vacationship · 4 months

Text

Who will be the Plumber (Birth Assistant) when Nat's water breaks?

And on doing something different.

My predictions in italics!

In season 2 Nat and her pregnancy has been associated with the plumbing. She firsts reveals she’s preggo in actual words (there were already hints) while sitting next to the gurgling toilet, and talking to the plumber about the big changes in her life that includes her pregnancy. The plumber is the first to know.

I’ve always made the connection that Nat has a watery/emotional nature, and she talks to the plumber like a therapist. But her emotional plumber connection is also bound up with her pregnancy. She talks about doing something different, which is not just about choosing someone like Pete and raising her kid differently but also being involved in her brother's restaurant and the family business in a new/different way. You get the feeling that this "doing something different" is a message for Carmy as well.

Midwives/doulas/doctors help the baby flow down the canal, and assess what may be stopping or jamming the process. They are like plumbers. There’s pipes/canals and a bowl/womb.

So, I believe Nat’s water will break (burst like the pipes) at the restaurant, and btw it’s so much more fluid than you think it will be, it’s a small flood.

If the plumber is the metaphor for the birth assistant, it’s notable Fak is the house plumber. Most notably he works on the toilet while he asks Richie about getting a job FOH, doing something different like Nat was talking about to the plumber, and so Richie harass-interviews him and they end up in a fight.

Fak did end up getting promoted to FOH. Like Carmy says when he asks him for the screwdriver, "Oh, you've changed."

So when Sydney asks Fak to check on her dad at F&F, and instead Fak gets intercepted by Richie to go to the bathroom where Nat is dealing with the toilet and finds her grunting and groaning (in labor), and she scares him away so he runs out and doesn’t help her, it means something that Syd's request was not fulfilled by Fak. Fak is now doing something different, he’s not the plumber and he can’t be the emotional fix-it guy that he tries to be.

Checking on her dad was fulfilled by Richie, because Richie is doing something different as well, by 1 not interfering with Fak’s expertise with fixing things and 2 becoming the people person that he truly is. He also becomes the driver of expo, and there’s Richie as Driver meta out there I believe.

But seriously? Someone other than the pregnant lady, Fak surely or Richie, should be dealing with the toilet on F&F, but it’s her mess for a reason. It signifies her pending labor.

Richie and Fak will be there when labor begins but they won’t assist Nat per se. Fak and Richie may run some kind of interference or messaging with Sydney. Richie may drive her to the hospital.

Earlier in the season, Sydney discusses with Carmy that she gets a vibe from her dad that he would rather her be anything else, “I dunno, a plumber.” Doing or being something different continues to be connected to the theme of plumbing. For Sydney, being a plumber may mean plumbing into herself, finding her blocks and letting herself flow, and being or doing different in some way that her dad will be proud of.

So Sydney is foreshadowed to be involved at the birth, also because she, like Richie with the sprite, seemed to have suspected that Nat is pregant before Carmy finds out. She asks Nat how she’s doing, telling her she looks green like Richie did, and has a knowing look.

Carmy also has directly dealt with an exploding toilet (in Sheridan?). He says “I know what this is!” like a plumber would, before the water comically sprays on him, just like it sprays all over Nat on F&F. The water sprays on both Carmy and Nat; Carmy's rebirth is linked with Nat's actual pregnancy and the rebirth process she has already been on and has encouraged Carmy to be on.

My Full Prediction:

Carmy will be there when Nat’s water breaks. He may even be there for the actual birth. Carmy’s role may be that he’s the one to somehow know what’s going on, and he may have to get in there and get messy.

Sydney’s role will help Nat feel checked on and cared for, and she may even have a side interaction with her dad, perhaps for advice or perhaps because he himself needs to be checked on. Or something about her connection with her dad will enable her to be a part of this rebirth/change that Nat's pregnancy represents. It's possible she’ll be with her dad and not with Nat at all, but Carmy or someone calls her and she supports that way.

Richie will drive, and Fak will be insecurely comedic. Pete will be crying and loving and supportive, and he may interact with Donna who may have to wait outside.

Friends and Family night is a rebirth for the Berzattos, but the shenanigans of the night may also be a foreshadowing for how things will go down in the actual birth of Nat’s baby.

#sydcarmy #natalie berzatto #the bear meta #I’ll add more tags later

98 notes · View notes

foreverjustaplace · 3 months

Text

The Bear in the Room

AHHHHHHH!! I'm not at all normal about Syd and Carmy. Like not at all. I have been reading and writing fanfiction since elementary LOL, but it's been years and years since I wrote anything. I've devoured just about every single fanfic with the Syd/Carmy tag I could find and then some. I've had this tumblr for over a decade and posted ZERO things. Now I've retweeted every other sydcarmy post and debated sharing my own theories and fics. But it's time. Feedback is welcomed! But be gentle, my darlings, I'm not exaggerating when I say I haven’t written fanfiction in over a decade. I'm nervous. Here's an excerpt from the first chapter, which will hopefully be up soon on AO3. It's called The Bear in The Room and will be a 5+1 Time fic.

5 Times Syd called Carmy "Bear" and 1 Times he calls her "Bear"

Syd is irritated. “Look, Carm. Effective teamwork begins and ends with communication.” She doesn’t tell him she stole that line from Coach K. “How can we build this up to be as successful as we want it to be if you’re not even telling me you’re going to be late? Or, I don’t know, text me if you’re not going to come in at all during our scheduled time.”

“Syd, that was one time. And I didn’t realize my phone wasn’t plugged in properly which is why it died and I couldn’t text you until much later. That’s my fault. I was tired–”

Sydney cuts him off. “Carmy, dude, I’ve literally gotten less than five hours of sleep each night for the last couple of weeks. We’re all tired. We’ve been tired. This shit isn’t new for us. We need you on your A-game. I need you at your best!”

Carmy runs both of his hands through his hair, and his voice is strained but louder than it’s been all morning. “Syd, you are the one person who gets me at my best. If I’m fucking up out there,” he gestures to the windows behind them as he continues, “I’m doing everything in my power to not bring that shit near you. I give you whatever my best is, okay? You have to know that I want this restaurant to succeed, and I want to get you those fucking stars.” His face redding as his electric blue eyes look into her expansive brown ones.

Syd’s annoyance is fizzling out. She knows she shouldn’t let it. She wants to keep it at the forefront of her mind. She tries to force herself to keep thinking about how he’s been absent, hanging out with his girlfriend–a friend who’s a girl–Claire–whoever she is to him–but he’s still Carm and she’s still Syd. And though she hasn’t worked on the menu with him in his apartment in weeks, and though the moments of them talking about nothing and everything outside during a smoke break, where he somehow is always just finishing the cigarette he came outside to smoke as she opens the back door and comes to sit right next to him, haven’t been as frequent, she still feels deeply connected to him.

So all she can do at that moment is bite her bottom lip and swipe her tongue on that same spot so quickly, you’d miss it if you blinked, before hesitantly responding. “You have my best, too, and I—” But she doesn’t get to finish because Fak chooses that moment to push the restaurant’s new door open and boisterously yell out to no one in particular, “Look who I found! It’s Claire Bear and she is going to help us with our GET-THE-BEAR-FUCKING-READY-FOR-OPENING-DAY day!” Syd can’t help but stare at Claire, a beat too long, with her full face of makeup and fancy-looking shirt. At least she put on some closed-toed shoes for today. Before Claire can get out of Fak’s embrace, Syd turns back to Carmen and says, “I need your best to be better,” as she walks off to find Nat.

Soo what do you think? Is it worth posting?

#sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #the bear fanfiction #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #the bear

86 notes · View notes

daydreamgoddess14 · 8 months

Text

Carmy Berzatto / Sydney Adamu Masterlist

Just me stepping out of my Ted Lasso comfort blanket and into another 'platonic besties' ship where I'm obviously imagining things and these people clearly don't have a connection... my ass they don't!

FULL MASTERLIST

Tumblr & AO3 links included throughout.

* = Complete

🔥 = Smutty

A flash of joy *

One-shot, general rating. Short and sweet one-shot. The crew at The Beef take a little break while on prep. Set mid/late Season One.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49623865

Iron *

One-shot, general rating. Short and sweet. Syd isn't feeling great & Carmy notices.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49637020

Aspirations *🔥

Syd is 12 months deep in a crush she wasn't expecting, Carmy is 6 months into a relationship he doesn't want, The Bear is 4 months open and Nat is 2 months into motherhood....

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49699597/chapters/125446204

Heatwave *🔥

Syd, Carmy and a heatwave which threatens to tip things over the edge...

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50001439

Everything More Than Anything 🔥

Syd works out what she needs to do to get those stars she's dreaming of. Carmy works out what he needs to do to support her.

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 - coming soon!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50410579/chapters/127366186

#the bear fx #the bear #the bear fanfic #the bear fanfiction #carmen x sydney #carmy x sydney #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #sydney x carmen #sydney x carmy #carmy berzatto #syd x carmy #carmy x syd #syd adamu #chefs kiss

103 notes · View notes

quidfree · 20 days

Note

have u seen the bear bc i need ur analysis on sydcarmy dynamic

i haveeee i love that show. prestige dramedys save me. save me prestige dramedys. <- guy who is not over the end of succession

honestly the bear has such a ... naturalistic quietness? to its character dynamics, between the loud antics and family tragedies, that it's almost hard to sit and break it down. i can go either way with sydcarmy because i really enjoy their relationship as is but i also think despite what the showrunners say they have (if accidentally) laid down the groundwork for The slowburn romance of the show

sydcarmy are just so interesting man. i adore relationships of equals, especially when what they share is a specific talent or passion (see: all my anime rivalries). their respective damage & the way they as a unit have such an ease despite the built-in friction is so compelling. they act like theyve worked together forever but really theyre only just learning to know each other. sydney as the newcomer and carmy as the guy suffocating under the weight of a tiny world who knows him inside out. carmy shuts her out of his psychodrama but it's her he thinks about to ground himself through panic attacks. sydney has fears/resentment re carmy as the guy whose vision she's giving 110% of herself to but also defends her trust in him staunchly when others question the choice. it's like they're doing some of it in reverse.

i love all the disparate little scenes we get with them outside of the kitchen context. them under that table in s2 was really so beautiful an homage to the connection they have. carmy just patiently rolls with almost all of sydney's probing and arguing. sydney takes almost all of his ups and downs with a sort of blasé can-do attitude. they flow in and out of agreement in the kitchen but everyone else there would flippantly tell you theyre the wondertwins who think as one.

and of course you have the cooking of it all. the metaphors. the symbolism. the fact that the bear is Literally an act of collaboration and creation with them at the heart of it... ok ate

#qui parle #qui repond #anon #the bear #sydcarmy #yes i ended on a cooking pun chef

42 notes · View notes

kdbleu · 9 months

Note

Ok so question (because I enjoy your analysis on these characters in the bear).

People who share the opinion that Carmy and Sydney should remain platonic soulmates and agree they have chemistry but they don’t read it as romantic.

From my vantage point I see the editing as obviously suggestive with the parallels in his relationship to Claire vs Syd.

Carmy obviously outwardly shows his interest on a seemingly subconscious level and with changed behavior.

Sydney on the other hand reads as very guarded (relatable) but still seeking connection as someone else pointed out. She hasn’t done any work to change that in terms of actively going to therapy. So I’m confused as to why people would think that a person as guarded as she is would outwardly like Carmy reciprocate her deep down romantic feels that I would assume she suppressing. She’s obviously good at it because she’s ambitious and a working professional. Case in point her reaction to Marcus’s date request.

What I do feel people should maybe reflect on more is her reaction to ‘Who’s Claire?’ Where I do agree that it was mostly frustration due to Camry dropping the ball and significant part was subconscious romantic jealousy. Also her insistence on him defining their (Claire and Carmy’s) relationship. Lastly, there’s no way in hell I would accept someone telling my boyfriend “I don’t want to share your focus” and him responding with “you deserve my focus” while she’s fully aware he’s in a relationship that SHE put him in 😂…because WHAT!?!

Sorry this was long and yeah I’d love to hear your thoughts?

Sydney desire for Carmy to define his relationship with Claire comes from Sydney wanting to know where she stands. She's ambitious an smart. She's let Carmy get away with a lot in her short time knowing each other, but she's reached a point where she's investing a lot in his restaurant. She needs to know if it's time to cut bait. Sydney deserves to know is she's working against a relationship that's going to continue to get in the way of The Bear?

And then she does what Sydney does. She tells Carmy how she wants to be treated. She tells him “I don’t want to share your focus.” I think by the time Carmy replies with, "You deserve my focus" he already knows he's going to break things off with Claire so in his mind he isn't really committing himself to another person while he has a girlfriend. He just hasn't seen Claire yet to do it. I think that's part of his distraction and lack of interest in Claire being at the restaurant at all. I doubt her meant to break up with her the way he did, but I also think Claire could have talked him out of doing it if they'd been face to face which is something to think about too.

As for Marcus... I almost feel bad because as early as Copenhagen I could see that he had probably been nursing a crush that Sydney inadvertently egged along throughout S1 and early S2. But once it's a real question instead of hints and international phone calls, she politely but firmly says no. Which also makes me think, part of Sydney wanting Carmy to define things between him and Claire is so she can sus out whether or not he's one of those guy who just strings a girl along. I think that's as much what she's getting at in the beginning of their conversation about him being shitty and that he's the one who makes it more about her.

And like the "Who's Claire?" moment of jealousy, it works because it's personal hurt hiding behind very neatly behind earned professionally annoyance.

#the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #sydney x carmy #the bear

81 notes · View notes

unlikelyjapan · 9 months

Text

s2e2 rewatch notes

Back on the horse - less wine this time, but probably some of the same analysis you've heard before:

Carmy + Syd all matchy-matchy walking down the hall to "She Drives Me Crazy" by fine young cannibals <3 - and Carmy so badly wants to learn more details about her Dad in that scene.

After sawing open the locker, Carmy immediately passes the hat to Richie (knowing that will give him the kind of comfort he needs) and then instantly moves to self-soothing himself by asking Sydney over to the apartment to work on the menu.

Someone on here already pointed this out, but I didn't see how marked it was until a rewatch - Marcus was *totally* trying to divert Syd's attention right after the invite by requesting "more inspiration" (even syd seems surprised by the timing). There wasn't even a scene break, so we can't blame it on editing - they're really working OT to draw our attention to the 'triangle'.

Carmy's "at least you can rely on him. Is your mom cool" - "So, your dad...." man he's really needling her, this episode is a lot of him trying to connect and getting (nicely) rebuffed - I can't imagine how those soft slights play over in his messed-up head.

Sugar's whole toilet monologue "We don't try new things - we keep doing the exact same things with the exact same people" followed in the next beat by "Who doesn't want easy? Who doesn't want to just be fucking okay?" was a (maybe too tidy) synopsis for the whole series. It's Ebra vs. Tina's perspectives. It's Carmy with Claire vs. Syd. It's Richie's aversion to change vs. understanding his life needs to move on by force.

To be honest, the whole saccharine meet-cute vs. Syd with her Dad parallel play was harder to sit through the second time, but I did it:

The Radiator story was offered up about Syd's mom being more competent than Emmanuel, and how that made her so attractive to him. This is followed by Syd revealing how high the stakes and sacrifices are with her and Carmy with the relationship restaurant.

Emmanuel has an inkling that Carmy is "the man" from the radiator story, and (protective dad-mode activated) his daughter as far too equally competent and vulnerable for such an arrangement (which is on the nose, given these scenes are spliced with foreshadowing at the grocery store).

Followed by Syd revealing how high the stakes and sacrifice are with her and Carmy and the pursuit of the restaurant - her dad seeing carmy as "the man" and her as far too competent for such a hashed arrangement.

Emmanuel says "The restaurants - they're hard and they don't work out" - it's almost like he's echoing/warning her about a relationship with Carmy. "It doesn't mean that YOU won't" - this is literally how all conversations go with concerned parents after you bust out a spontaneous engagement announcement, ha.

Syd gives the classic rebuttal - "I'm in a better place in my life - I've learned a lot of lessons - I know what I'm doing"

After he asks if she trusts him, and after a quiet moment she scoffs - it's almost like she's thinking about saying something else before she pivots and talks about it being weird that she's older than her mom was when she died now, bringing it back to something she knows he can relate to.

She also doesn't quite believe she's "just as wonderful" as her mom - and/or can't take compliments. Syds are made in the same factory that Carmy's come from I guess *sobs*

MEANWHILE - standard meet-cute stuff and bashful Carm, until Carmy almost seems taken aback when Claire says ""because I wanted to understand it" re: the whole broken-arm thing. He takes a beat, looking away, before stuttering his throwaway "th...that was at roosevelt?" line. It obviously derailed him, as it doesn't compute with his idea of care.

I didn't catch this before, but the conviction in the whole "Because you're the bear and I remember you" line delivery is more forceful and less murmured than all the other lines - if you think she's guessing/nostalgic/riffing with him here, I have a bridge to sell you. She talks with Fak, Tiff etc - girl is on her game with reconissance.

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #carmen berzatto #syd x carmy #the bear #tina the bear #sydney x carmy #carmy berzatto #carmy x sydney

107 notes · View notes

bi-bard · 1 year

Text

5 Seconds of Summer Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Carmy Berzatto - Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto Imagine [The Bear]

Title: 5 Seconds of Summer Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto

Pairing: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto X Reader

Word Count: 1,738 words

Warning(s): mention of break-up

Author's Note: Guess who missed the announcement about this release date?

**Not intentionally written in chronological order**

--------------------

Ghost of You

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house with the ghost of you And I chase it down, with this shot of truth Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

--third person--

Carmen was a wreck.

Well, he was always a wreck. But he was more of a wreck now than he usually was.

He was curled up on his small couch, eyes glazed over yet staring at the TV, his clothes were old and unchanged, and he couldn't remember the last time he ate something that was halfway decent for him.

It was ridiculous. Ridiculous for him to spend days like this. He heard his phone ringing and pinging with text notifications. He had just begged Sydney to take over for a little while. She was pissed but understanding. Until a few days passed. She wasn't being paid enough to deal with all of the shit that the restaurant required.

It was Carmen's fault that he was here. He knew that.

It was his fault that (Y/n) had left.

It was a major reason why he couldn't force himself to look away from his screen. When he did, he just saw what he lost and the very moment that he ruined everything.

It took ages for the phone to finally start to break through the emotionally drained shell that had taken over.

"For fuck's sake," he muttered as he finally pushed himself up. He got to his phone and shut it off, just wanting to return to the mindless sound of the shitty TV.

He tossed his phone back down and just froze.

He wanted to go back to the couch, curl up on the cushion, and continue his everlasting pity party. But he couldn't.

(Y/n) had spent ages in that apartment.

It felt like Carmen could see every moment of it. All at once. Small moments and big moments. Good and bad and... the worst.

He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer, trying to silence a few thoughts. But when he closed the door and turned back around, it felt like everything got so much louder.

The clearest of them all was the yelling. The screaming. (Y/n) begging for him to talk, him yelling at (Y/n) to leave him alone. It had been the stress. The stress from the restaurant and his family and the career he left behind. It all culminated in him losing his cool on the one person that seemed to never bring him any more stress than he was already dealing with.

(Y/n) didn't leave until Carmen told them to. He screamed it. He got in their face and barely thought about how they refused to move away from him. They only yelled because Carmen couldn't shut the fuck up long enough to listen.

He closed his eyes and put the beer down.

He just needed a minute. A minute free from it all.

Some part of that knew that he wouldn't get that. But he could cope with it... no matter what he had to do.

Wildflower

You're the only one who makes me Every time we Tell you what I like My wildflower

I felt almost entirely out of place when I walked into the Berzatto's restaurant. It wasn't my scene. I had no experience in the field. The only connection that I had was to the family. I had avoided getting involved in the restaurant because I knew the family.

But here I was, walking in as awkwardly as I would if I was walking into class late.

The building was empty. I wasn't surprised by that.

"Camry!" I shouted from the front.

"Holy shit," I heard his voice mutter out of shock before getting louder so I could clearly hear him. "Back here!"

I walked back through the building until I found the office. "Hey."

"Hi," he replied. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Checking on you," I explained, nudging him with my arm. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," he shrugged.

I looked at his desk, scanning my eyes over the messy collection of papers sitting there. "You sure about that one?"

"Don't be a smartass."

"Don't try to fucking lie to me."

"Why are you really here," he asked.

"Your sister called me," I confessed. I heard him muttering 'you have gotta be fucking kidding' as I continued. "Something about me being the only person that you'll listen to."

He chuckled, running his hands over his face.

"Don't worry," I said. "I also think she overestimated the influence I have on you."

"That's not it," he muttered.

"Oh, so I do have influence over you?"

"Shut up," he replied.

"No, we aren't gonna fucking scoot past that, are you kidding," I laughed a bit as I spoke. "Tell me."

"She was right that you had 'influence'," he put the word influence in air quotes. "But I don't need it."

"Well, she would've killed me if I didn't try," I shrugged. "Let's agree to tell her that I tried my best."

"Deal."

I grinned at him. "Now... what influence do I have over you?"

"Jesus-"

"You know damn well that you aren't gonna escape this," I replied.

"It's really nothing," he explained. "Just my sister being an ass."

"Yeah, but an ass about what?"

He didn't reply, instead deciding to just scoff and go back to the pile of papers. He wasn't actually doing anything. He was just flicking through them and shuffling them around a bit, making it look like he was actually attempting to find something.

"Carmy..."

"Busy."

"You're an ass."

"Yup."

I reached over and placed my hand over his. I held it still, not letting him distract himself with papers any longer. He looked at me.

"Talk to me," I pushed.

"There's nothing to talk about," he muttered.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you're stubborn as fuck."

"Or you're a shit liar."

He raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to back down.

"I could call your sister... she'd tell me."

He glared at me. He hated having his sister dragged into things. I knew that. I had already listened to him rant about the very subject. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"She knows that I'll agree with more than anyone else," Carmy finally confessed. I furrowed my eyebrows. "I didn't say that it was a lot more."

"Why?"

"Why the fuck do you think," he asked.

I hated that I couldn't read his mind. I hated that he was so damn stubborn that he couldn't talk to me without reminding me of a toddler throwing a fit.

But fine, if he didn't want to answer me, then I would guess.

I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. I had originally planned for it to merely be a quick kiss before pulling back and dealing with whatever embarrassment came after.

But I didn't get that chance before Carmy cupped the back of my head and kissed me back.

There were a few moments before I pulled away and smiled at him.

"I do have an effect over you," I teased.

He scoffed and leaned away completely. "Shut up."

"Never," I chuckled. "See you around, Carmy."

"Yeah... yeah, you too."

I don't think he knew that I caught how red his face got as I walked out.

Better Man

Darling, all of my wrongs, they led me right to you Wrapped in your arms, I swear I'd die for Your love, your love, I'm a better, better man

I had just gotten home from work and changed out of my work clothes when there was a knock on my door.

I couldn't stop myself from grumbling under my breath. I was just about to take my nightly spot in the corner of my couch. My self-pity was calling to me.

I pulled my door open, ready to cuss out whoever was on the other side. I stopped in my tracks. "Carmy-"

"Please, don't shut the door," he begged before I could even think of doing so. "I just... I just want you to hear me out."

I leaned against the doorframe, waving for him to continue whatever talk he wanted to have.

"I- I'm sorry," he spit out. "What I did was shitty and selfish and you didn't deserve a fucking ounce of it. I let all of the stress and shit get to my head and I took it out on you and I'm sorry."

"Thanks..."

"I want... I want you back," he continued. "I am willing to do whatever I have to. I'm in a grief support group now. I'll fucking go to one-on-one therapy and give it a shot. Shit, I'll leave the restaurant if that is what I have to do in order to be better. I want to be better for you."

"Don't be," I replied. I stopped him before he could question me. "I don't wanna be your reason for getting better. I want you to get better for you. That's all there is to it. And that is far harder, I know. But it's better."

"Alright," Carmy muttered. "Where does that leave us?"

"I... I can't jump back into what we were," I shrugged. "But I miss you. I really miss you. I... I'm willing to try again. I think."

"Really?"

I nodded, grinning a bit at him.

"Alright. Cool. Good."

"Good."

"Tomorrow night? I'll take you to dinner... somewhere other than the restaurant."

I chuckled. "That sounds nice. Just text me when you're on your way."

"Alright."

There was a small awkward pause before I went to step back inside.

I paused for a moment before stopping the door from shutting. "Carmy."

"Yeah-"

I stepped out and kissed him gently. It was only for a matter of seconds. I don't know what my thought process was at the time. I don't know if I was trying to comfort him or myself or if I was just doing it because I wanted to.

I grinned at him as I pulled back.

"See you tomorrow night," I muttered, feeling my face warm up.

"Yeah," he nodded. "See you."

I closed my door and just kind of stood there for a minute. I took a deep breath.

I wanted this to work out.

I wanted it to work out so bad.

I was just hoping that I wouldn't regret trying again.

--------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#imagine #fanfiction #x reader #carmy berzatto imagine #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto imagine #the bear fanfiction #the bear x reader #the bear imagine #the bear hulu imagine #the bear hulu fanfiction #the bear hulu x reader

65 notes · View notes

whumpdoyoumean · 7 months

Text

Whumptober #1

xxx but now this room is spinning

Carmy groans and rolls over, then groans again when he sees what time it is. The clock reads two-thirteen. He’d thought it was at least four-thirty, maybe five--it feels like he’s been tossing and turning for hours. It’s been barely thirty minutes.

“Fuck you,” he says quietly to the glowing red numbers.

He closes his eyes, telling himself he’s going to try and fall asleep again even though he knows full well that that’s not going to happen. After a few minutes, he finally flops onto his back and opens his eyes, staring up through the darkness.

“Fuck this.”

He sits up and throws off the covers with a sigh. He’d managed to get three hours of sleep tonight before the nightmare hit, which is an hour more than last night. He doesn’t really remember the nightmare, but the aftermath is the same every time. He wakes up from it breathless with tight-chested panic until he realizes that he’s in his apartment, and then the feeling that is suspiciously like claustrophobia slowly fades until he’s left exhausted and sleepless and frustrated. It’s been like this for nearly three weeks now, since friends-and-family night. Since the walk-in.

Since Claire.

He doesn’t want to think about it. But it’s all he can think about. If things are quiet, if he’s still for even a moment, it all comes crashing down around him. He needs to keep moving, like a shark. It’ll get better on its own, eventually. Or--maybe not better. But quieter. Easier to ignore. In the meantime, he just needs to keep working.

He’s at The Bear by three.

xxx

“You okay, Carmy?”

“Fine, Chef,” Carmy says.

It’s a lie, of course. He’s been feeling off all day. More off than usual, that is. There’s a growing pressure behind his eyes that makes it difficult to focus, and he feels strangely detached from his body. He curls and uncurls his fingers that aren’t holding a knife just to remind himself that they’re still in his control. Sydney glances down at his hand then back up at his face, her eyebrows pinching, mouth pulling down at the corners.

“You sure?”

He stops moving his hand and forces a tight half-smile. “I’m fine, Sydney. Don’t you have your own prep to finish?” The words sound strange, feel strange coming out, like he’s talking in slow motion. Sydney doesn’t seem to notice, or if she does she doesn’t say anything, just goes back to her station without another word.

He turns his focus back to the cutting board and blinks, then frowns and blinks again. Something’s going on with his eyes. It’s like there’s static at the edges of his vision, and the world starts to blur. And there’s a ringing in his ears, getting louder and louder. He feels himself break into a cold sweat and he sets his knife down and waits for it to pass, but it doesn’t. Instead, the ringing crescendos to a roar and the static grows and grows until everything is black.

xxx

Richie swears as he sees the time and hustles out of the car. He’s late. Lateness was Old Richie’s thing. New-and-improved Richie shows up on time, early even. He definitely doesn’t show up twenty minutes after the start of shift, and he definitely doesn’t do that when he and Carmy are still on shaky terms. He goes in through the back.

“Hey, Chef!” he calls as he strides toward Carmy. “I’m sorry I’m late, it won’t happen again.” He frowns when Carmy doesn’t even acknowledge him. The frown only deepens as he gets closer. Carmy is standing, unmoving, at his station, both hands flat on the counter. His face is pale, eyes wide and staring at nothing in particular. Something is definitely up. “Cousin?”

Carmy doesn’t seem to have heard.

“Cous--”

And then Carmy is falling, eyes still open and vacant as his legs fold beneath him, and Richie's heart drops into his stomach. He lurches forward but he’s too far away for it to do any good. Carmy’s forehead connects with the edge of the counter with a sickening smack and he crumples to the floor.

“Carmy!”

xxx

Awareness returns suddenly and Carmy blinks up at the faces looming over him, then grimaces.

“Oww, my head…What ‘m I doing on the floor?” He starts to push himself up on his elbows and Marcus grabs his arm.

“Whoa, whoa. Take it easy. You fainted. Don’t wanna move too fast or it might happen again. Just give it a second.”

“Fainted?” Carmy says as Marcus and Richie help him ease slowly into a sitting position.

“Yeah, scared the shit out of me,” Richie says. “I’ve never seen anyone faint with their eyes open before. You feelin’ okay? Dizzy?”

Carmy’s still sort of confused, and he feels drained and a little embarrassed, but not dizzy thankfully. “No, I’m okay...” He reaches up and brushes his forehead above his right eyebrow, pulling his fingers away with a sharp hiss. They come away bloody.

Great.

“Fuck,” he mutters, and Richie shoots him a sympathetic look.

“Yeah, you hit your head pretty good on the way down. Hey, someone get me a damp towel?”

“I got it,” Marcus says, standing, and Richie nods at him before looking back at Carmy, pointing at his forehead.

“Don’t think you’ll need stitches, but we oughta get that cleaned up.”

“I’m fine,” Carmy says, looking down at the floor. As his awareness sharpens, so, too, does the embarrassment. The whole kitchen has ground to a halt and he’s keenly aware of everyone’s eyes on him. He sort of wishes a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him whole.

“Have you eaten today?” Tina asks, and then Sydney says, “When’s the last time you slept?” Someone else says, “You’re really pale.”

Another voice. “Get him some water.”

“Should someone call an ambulance?”

“He doesn’t need an ambulance.”

Overlapping voices, talking to him and about him and it makes him feel small (not just because he’s currently sitting on the floor). He can feel himself getting overwhelmed, heart beat picking up, and he just wants to get out of here but he’s surrounded and everyone is staring at him.

And then Richie’s voice, cutting through the rest of the noise like a knife. “You haven’t seemed right since friends and family night.”

Something in Carmy snaps.

He looks up sharply.

“You left me in the fucking walk-in! You left me alone!”

Everyone goes silent and Carmy closes his eyes and it’s like he’s in there again, pounding on the door and pacing the tiny space and yelling and yelling but no one listens. Like he’s in there sitting alone with his phone and his heartbreak. He opens his eyes again, expecting Richie to say something--to argue, to defend himself. But he doesn’t. He just reaches up with the towel from Marcus and dabs it against Carmy’s forehead. Carmy flinches away, batting at Richie’s hand. Richie doesn’t say anything, just tries again. Carmy moves his head.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Cousin,” Richie says quietly as Carmy dodges him again. “Cousin!”

He puts a hand on the back of Carmy’s head to keep him still and they make eye contact. Carmy isn’t sure what he expects to see in Richie’s expression--anger, or worse, pity. Instead, he sees guilt, and it surprises him. Richie presses the towel gently to the cut on Carmy’s forehead, and this time Carmy lets him.

“Service is in an hour,” Richie says. His voice lacks its usual weight, and he clears his throat. “Back to work!”

No one moves, and then Sydney says, “You heard him. Back to work!”

Everyone spurs into motion at once, moving around Carmy and Richie as they get back to their places. Richie ignores them, focusing intently on wiping the blood from Carmy’s head.

“There,” he says after a minute. “That looks better. You might want to put ice on there though, it’s already starting to swell. Won’t need stitches though…” He takes a deep breath, holds it, and then lets it out slowly, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “Listen, Carmy. I know you didn’t mean to hurt Claire.”

The words are like a sucker punch to the gut. Tears spring up in Carmy’s eyes and he blinks them furiously back.

“Anyway,” Richie continues. “You should go home and get some rest. I mean it. You look like shit. It’s a Tuesday, you know Tuesdays are slow.”

Carmy shakes his head. “You know I can’t--”

“Hey, Syd,” Richie calls, interrupting, and Sydney looks up. “Carmy needs to go home and sleep. We got this?”

Sydney nods. “Yeah, we got this. It’s Tuesday.”

Richie looks at Carmy with a smug expression. “See?”

Carmy heaves a sigh. He doesn’t feel good about leaving, but he also just doesn’t feel good. A hot shower and his bed sound really nice…

“Fine.”

“Good.” Richie helps him to his feet, and then the two of them walk to the back door. Richie stops when they get outside, so suddenly that Carmy almost runs into the back of him. He turns and Carmy is surprised to see that he’s crying.

“Cousin, you good?” Carmy says slowly.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about what I said that night,” Richie says. “I--” He laughs a little, a humorless, broken sound. “I wasn’t going to bring it up again because part of me hoped maybe--maybe you’d forget I even said it. But I know that’s bullshit.”

“Richie…”

“No, Carmy. I told you I wanted you to freeze to death. And then things have been so weird between us, and you’ve been so quiet and withdrawn, and I--” He lets out a harsh breath and puts a hand over his mouth. “I’ve been so scared that you--fuck.”

“What’re you…” He trails off as realization hits. “Mikey.”

Richie nods miserably.

“Christ, Richie,” Carmy says softly.

“You’re not alone, Carmy,” Richie says, sniffing. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not going anywhere.”

Richie pulls him into a hug, and Carmy returns it.

“‘cept you are going somewhere,” Richie murmurs after a few seconds. “You’re going home to rest and put some ice on the goose egg on your head.”

Carmy snorts. “Yeah. But I’m coming back into work tomorrow.”

Richie releases him from his grip and takes a step back, swiping an arm across his nose. “Damn straight…I did mean one thing I said that night. I fucking love you, cousin.”

Carmy lifts one corner of his mouth. “Yeah. I fucking love you, too.”

xxx

31 notes · View notes

devisrina · 4 months

Note

I am so very sorry for my last ask, my brain short circuited when I wrote it. I think what I meant is, what is your favourite way to write or read carmy as a character? For me, I enjoy reading jealous carmy because it shows how much he’s in love with syd.

Sorry for the confusion of my last ask. Hopefully this is clearer

No problem! I'm glad you cleared this up :)

I like slow burns because I like watching the story/lead-up to their love. I think they are one of those pairings that would be just as interesting as an established relationship as well though. :)

I like reading fics from Carmy's POV because I like reading how the guy feels about a girl. I like jealousy as well, mainly because it adds more drive. I want jealousy to be the obstacle that pushes him to realise that he needs to do something about his feelings for her, not really in the way that it makes him see that he likes her. I feel that scenes with them one-on-one where they are spending quality time together could actually make him start to see her in the light where he realises that he is in love with her.

I also think in terms of being an admirer of Sydney, I want it to go either of these ways:

It is a person who she considers a serious boyfriend. They date for a couple of episodes (representing a few months or so) before they break up amicably. This then opens up the door for Carmy to be her love interest.

Someone whom she has no romantic feelings towards who just flirts with her, whom Carmy gets jealous of despite Sydney not reciprocating interest. It could be Connor if it becomes canon that he shares an interest in her.

And ex who was also a chef that she had a messy breakup with.

I used to be on board with the idea of Sydney getting a love interest, while I wouldn't be opposed to it, I'm fine with it not happening either. I think as long as the love interest is very obviously set up to be a one-off love interest that is a device to lead up to Sydcarmy, I would support it.

So I guess I love reading affectionate and love-struck Carmy. I really love reading how much he appreciates and cares for her and vice-versa. I love especially reading scenes where it continues to show the connection that they have; that they really understand one another. When Carmy is comfortable and happy around Sydney it shows how much he's in love with her.

#carmy x sydney #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #sydcarmy #carmy berzatto #sydney x carmy

17 notes · View notes

berzattosbandanas · 2 months

Text

sydcarmy as taylor swift songs: a list

This show has got me down so bad, and the meta and fan fiction has given me such a stunning case of brain rot that I am actually writing something to contribute to a tag for the first time.

Sydcarmy is the one ship that I didn't want to have Taylor Swift songs for, because even as a major Swiftie, I need a break sometimes. However, the TikTok edits got me and I now have a list. There aren't many on this list just because I'm actively trying not to overreach with their current state in canon and not confuse myself with the mass amount of fan fiction I have read in the last month.

I think I need to establish my own thoughts on these two characters and their relationship at some point, but I think the main thread I have is that they don't know what they mean to each other yet. Carmy is definitely more in love with Syd at this point in time as he has visibly shown that he needs her to cope. While this is a bit unhealthy and could lead to a smidge of codependence, Syd is the person who understands him and his craft and knows him beyond his family, which is a source of comfort for him. On the other hand, Sydney has spent the series growing out of her hero worship of Carmy and building a professional relationship with him that has made them equals. I think having this innate understanding of each other will translate well into a romantic relationship, especially with the boundaries of this professional relationship being as blurry as they are and the feelings simmering under the surface. There is not a single platonic explanation for the panic attack scene or the table scene, but both of these characters have not been given an opportunity to have their romantic feelings become realised yet but there is such a clear opportunity for it to go this way.

Song One: cowboy like me (evermore 2020)

This song is the story of two con artists who fall in love but the narrator is unsure of how real the relationship is, despite the twin flame/soulmatism of it all. There is so much in this song to analyse on its own and in relation to these two, but I will try and keep it to a few points.

While Syd and Carmy are not con artists, their shared passion and job binds them together the way the con artists in the song are. They have both had bad experiences in fine dining, souring their passion but the newfound connection and subsequent relationship with each other have given them hope because of their unique understanding. This is akin to the experiences the narrator of the song puts forward of the rich men who she has tricked and their wives who have talked shit about her for it. Deceit is also a theme of the song, relating to how Syd and Carmy are, at this point, hiding their true feelings for the other from themselves and hiding behind the restaurant and their food to do that talking.

The relationship described in the song is hesitant but they know that it is it. The line now I know / I'm never gonna love again after the con artists' first meeting and repeated at the end of the song imply that this could either be the greatest love story or their biggest ruin, mirroring what Syd and Carmy have the capacity to be to each other. Now you hang from my lips / like the Gardens of Babylon carries so much meaning in the song on its own, with the reference to a historical place that has no proof of ever existing implying that the relationship is beautiful but idealistic and a far-away fantasy for someone in the unconventional line of work the narrator is. In relation to Carmy and Syd, the industry they work in is insanely difficult to form romantic relationships within and outside of, but there are a lot of fwb situations to blow off steam. This speaks to if the relationship between the two takes a sexual or romantic turn, where will the line be drawn? Will it just be a friends with benefits situation or can they put in the work to make it a beautiful, healthy and fulfilling relationship, just like the Gardens of Babylon would have needed if it actually existed?

Overall, the song does validate the connection that Carmy and Sydney have and that they can be (are) the great loves of each others' lives, but it needs work and both of them to stop lying to themselves and each other about their feelings.

Song Two: peace (folklore 2020)

Peace is a song that I think encapsulates Carmy's point of view on a relationship. Not just with Syd, as parts of the song can be generalised out to Claire and even his familial relationships like Mikey, Richie, Nat etc. It speaks of warning someone about committing to the narrator, in this case Carmy, as he is not a peaceful person so it would be hard to give the other person the peace they seek in a relationship.

Of course, I think the person to give Carmy peace and allow him to reciprocate would be Sydney because they work in the same industry, and get each other in a way that no one else can understand. They have both had moments of validation from the other, Sydney by having a culinary education and fine dining experience validating Carmy's thoughts and direction during The Beef era, and Carmy acknowledging her fears in the table scene and absolving them (before getting stuck in the fridge and unintentionally going backwards on his word). This validation of the other is such a gift of peace in an otherwise crazy workplace that is a valued part of their relationship.

The whole song is of giving someone peace, warmth and a safe place to come to that Carmy is sceptical of having and being but will give to the described partner to the best of his ability. The narrator/Carmy also admires the person they are singing the song to, Your integrity makes me feel small / you paint dreamscapes on the wall, which forms a big part of the relationship because if this is about anyone, it would be about Syd. I think in 2x03, he wants to let her creativity show and be able to collaborate with her to create a restaurant that is not just his, but theirs but hey, then a big distraction walks in the door.

The bridge is also a massive part of why this song is Carmy-specific.

And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches Give you my wild, give you a child Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other

He wants to give Sydney her dream, as well as achieve his own of his restaurant with Mikey, this is spoken through the wild and child, as the wild his his passion, effort and attention and the child in this case is The Bear. He will support her through her decisions and ambitions, the same way she will him, and go through all the shit with her that comes with running a business in the cutthroat culinary world, whilst wanting to know more of her and her life (the Dead Mom conversation, the "say more" in the table scene). The silence line is the most Sydcarmy coded song lyric that I have ever heard in my life and they have the beginnings of that connection now, but they have such a capacity to grow into that sort of telepathic connection and safe space for each other that I really hope we get to see.

Song Three: hoax (folklore 2020)

These songs, in my head, go together quite well and in this case, it is Sydney singing about Carmy. The singer begins the song as downtrodden, whether as a result of their life and experiences or because of the other person, which works with Syd's narrative thus far. Over the course of the song, the narrator insinuates that as disillusioned with life as she is, the hoax that is being in love and having a life with this one specific person is all they want.

For Syd, her previous experiences in fine dining and her catering business were those winless fight[s] / that have frozen [her] ground and made her closed off from the culinary world until she saw the job posting by Carmy that gave her hope. These and her mother's death early in her life have also seen to have frozen her heart, as we as the audience have had no mention to connections she has beyond her dad and those at The Bear. I hope in the next season/s that we get to see Syd with some friends (bring Rachel Sennot on the show pleeeease) so she doesn't seem as lonely as she does.

Don't want no other shade of blue, but you / no other sadness in the world would do is such a romantic lyric that speaks to, when she realises she is in love with Carmy and wants to be with him, wanting to be with a person regardless of all their mental health issues and insecurities, which Carmen Berzatto has in abundance. To counter with Peace, Carmy wants the same with Syd, despite her neuroticisms and anxieties, he wants her too.

The bridge in this song is also a big part of why I like this song for Syd and Carmy.

You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart You knew the password, so I let you in the door You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark Darling, this was just as hard As when they pulled me apart

The New York mention makes it feel like this could be a Carmy song because he was so battered and bruised by his New York experiences, pulled apart if you will, but for Sydney, New York meant something else to her. She tasted Carmy's food for the first time and set her standards for food there. I think she has yet to reach her own standards, whilst being an incredible chef, and growing closer to Carmy in terms of their professional partnership and personal relationship will help her reach that.

There is something so intimate about someone knowing you so well and there being such a strong connection that all of the walls you keep up are let down around this person (You knew the password, so I let you in the door) and I think that this is Carmy to Sydney. She told him about her mom which she had not told anyone else (as far as we have seen) and they share many of the same fears in terms of the culinary world so letting him in was easy, he just now has to maintain being that person and be the hoax that Syd can believe in.

Other Songs

Obviously there are many more songs that could fit these two, but they are included in multiple Sydcarmy playlists on Spotify and capture what I feel like these two characters could feel for each other based on what we have seen so far in the show.

Renegade (feat Taylor Swift) - Big Red Machine (How Long Do You Think It's Gonna Last? 2021)

The Archer (Carmy Carmy Carmy)

You Are In Love (established relationship fic vibes)

False God (for when the finally get their act together)

#sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #carmen berzatto #taylor swift #evermore #folklore

6 notes · View notes