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goatpaste · 4 years

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WC design/headcannon/ect masterlist- Part B

another chunk of all the headcanos/AU’s/design notes/warrior names for kits and leaders never given a canon one/ect for all the wario cats!

this one is for all the B named cats!

info under the cut

Badgerfang

badgerfang i think a lot of us have a big ol soft spot for, but ought i really care him and his family i think it needs more than jusT the badgerfang death like for real

one of the biggest reasons i wanna learn to animate is because i wanna make a badgerfang and flintfang amv! it would be sdkg more about flintfang because i think he’s a neat character who has a lot of potential for development

like mAN you ever stop and think about not only was flintfang sad over badgerfangs death because it was sad, bUT also because badgerfang was his sisters kit AND to the thought of blackstar is flintfangs brother. flintfang had to deal with playing a hand in badgerfangs death then watch his brother loyally follow brokenstar, then tigerstar 🥺

Baypaw

baypaw was the first of his lil chunk of family i design, i didnt have a sorrelstripe design made yet so i ultimately decided to base his design on his grandpa Lionblaze. smaller fluffy lionblaze.

I know we should be coming up to baypaw getting their warrior name soon

i think a name like Baysong or Baygale

Beech Tail

the only thing i have to say is dgjksh when i designed the ‘beech’ prefix designs it was late and i totally went ‘beech... the beach’ and noT beech the tree sdjkgh. so i designed beech tail like that of a penguin sdjkgh

Beechfur

beechfur , riverclan warrior under mistystar’s leadership

i imagine beechfur is be EXTREMely accident prone, from the first instant of getting sick and healed by leafpool all the way up till the end. He is in and out of the medicine cats den constantly. and through this formed a big ol crush on the pretty medicine cat apprentice Willowshine who has had to full on decline his feelings. he is not the only one who has had this treatment, many a riverclan cats have found themself charmed by willowshine

Beechpaw

Beechpaw, a apprentice of ancient skyclan who were forced to leave the forest territory. i imagine beechpaw was of the few cats who did everything he could to keep the others in good spirit while they tried to find their home, which often came to the annoyance of all his distraught clanmates. he never stopped doing all he could to put a smile on their face until he died.

he was the last apprentice cloudstar named a warrior and only lived a few moons after becoming one.

warrior names i like for him are like Beechshed or Beechshine

Beenose

slight update to my beenose design because i want her to fit my newer darktail group clown aesthetic

another design note is her and her siblings all are themed after a diff color of the rainbow, beenose is yellow. their mom snowbird has a pale rainbow pattern and each other her kits is a diff color of the rainbow

Beetlewhisker

Beetlewhisker is another one of my quiet favorites i have, and it is because of the error of him being alive for SO many books after he died.

like !!! bitch had a HUGE major death and went on to live for a long time aND be listed as a cats mentor (which i think that has been changed now)

i love the idea of in a way beetlewhisker WAS with the clans that long after his death. that due to his death was in a way locked in the dark forest, his soul stuck there. but because of the ways of the dark forest cat’s he was chased out, and unable to enter starclan having died in the dark forest, now cursed to live in limbo.

He walks to the grounds of riverclan watching over his clanmates while they rest hoping that no one else is to be preyed upon by the dark forest like he was ever again.

theres ghost stories of riverclan cats seeing the shape of a cat shining brightly when hit by moonlight. a peaceful spirit of the past who protects them.

and in design 100% his design was made to look like that of a smeleton bones lol

Bellaleaf

the erin team will have to pry bellaleaf and firestar being siblings from my cold dead hands!!

you can’t say they look basically exactly alike and their not related i wont take it sdjkg. i DIE for the idea oh whore jake managing to have so many kids that get into the clans. like the over saturation of jake dna through the clans ruining them absolutely kills me sdjkg

i also imagine ravenpaw having like deja vu of firestar when he looks at bella, cats who knew firestar look at her and can’t help feel she reminds them of someone.

Berryheart

another one of the designfor snowbirds kits, berryheart is the red themed sibling.

she also got a slight design change to be more clowny to fit her time in darktail’s group

Berrynose

i just love berrynose, i think hes very terrible and i love him a lot

i think the books are cowards and i think berrystar woulda been the fUNniest outcome oR like

imagine the powermove if berrynose lived and squirrelflight fucking made berrynose her deputy likE

also berrynose is a lil gay brat, he has a thick country accent and everyone find him weirdly charming. many hate him but cant help but find him alluring.

he actually is a very good warrior, he stays on top of his task and brings in the prey. his biggest problem is his ego and his need to get in others faces all the time

i love when he’s paired with lionblaze because their stupid rivarly is so good i really wish it was more plot important and lasted longer i LIVE for best friend rivals lion and berry

buT i also love him with jayfeather for the simple dynamic of the one cat who would probably hate him more than anyone else but oops he’s in love to

or him and breezepelt because they could be lil shitheads togeather

Birchface

the biggest thing i can say about birchface is 100% birchface watched over mapleshade’s kits, doesnt let appledusk or his own family hurt them. He treats them like his own.

in AU’s where birchface lives i defiantly can see him having a HUGE crush on mapleshade and being much like thrushpelt was to bluefur. being as a surrogate dad for her kits and keeping the secret.

in my main AU with mapleshade dieing and getting a redemption its mostly the same except they become a sweet happy family together in starclan.

he’s a big goofy dad type and his father had hoped he would become leader one day, but worried that he was too lax with the code and not as driven to fight as others and began to think he would have to rely on frecklewish instead. then they both died and he ended up turning to his youngest son pinefur

Blade

this is just a one time ghost cat buT i like the design i made for her.

im all here for dark forest cats having this black oozing mark from where they died, starclan gets being covered in stardust and maybe having from pretty plats or glow or other representative stuff on their death. but ghost cats are loUD with their mark of death. its a nagging weight they carry around based on their inability to move on to their respective afterlives. For blade its giant bright red tire marks that slowly circle around her body.

Blazefire

just a lil boy

i imagine he kinda constantly has crushes on cats from other clans which while some might tell him to hush when he shares his thoughts on the pretty cat from riverclan he gets some loving teasing from dovewing and antfur

Blazefire is also miss nearly all of his tail

Blizzardstar and Blizzardwing

not much here but to say 100% i designed blizzardwing in mind of being that of a grandson or great grandson to blizzardstar

Blossomfall

shrug idk a lot to say about her beyond, i know she’s a asshole character but i remember liking her, i think she’s mean but its kinda fun in a way

i think i also just have this soft spot for millies kits because their millie’s

also i just like my blossomfall design i think she’s v fun

Blossomkit

another shadowclan kit who died under brokenstar’s ruling.

i think as sad as it is, i can imagine blossomkit to be badgerfang’s sister, just another sad thing to think about for fernshade’s litter. the potential idea of all her kit’s dying because of brokenstar

a warrior name for her that would been cute woulda been like Blossomglaze or blossomsprout

Bluebellkit

bluebellkit sure disappeared from the books. she’s one of those kits that like, she already had a mouth full of a name and i wish i coulda seen what they woulda named her as a warrior

but she’s another one of snowbird’s rainbow themed kids, her ofc being the blue one.

i think a cute warrior name for her could been Bluebellwhistle or bluebellfoot

Blouder

i lobe boulder i think he is very under appreciated!!

i think it be very fun to get a novella or something in this POV,,

he’s just hangin out back there yknow,,,

Bouncefire

(bit of an art change from here as i took a break between these two and switched programs)

idk a lot about actual bouncefire, i think the only books with any real characterization in it was ones i havent read

buT id really like to imagine growing up he saw his mentor patchfoot as a father figure and was ultimately the reason patchfoot and his mom got together. and bouncefire being absolutely ecstatic about it. thinking patchfoot is the coolest guy

bouncefire gets along good with his half siblings

gay cat and wanna be emo but just is kinda angy

Brackenfur

my biggest brackenfur AU is my medicat brackenfur which i have info of here

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/631020627780911104/au-where-insteed-of-fireheart-picking-up

and

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/632972589046890496/mmm-writing-out-like-big-plot-point-changes-in-my

the other thing vaguely mention in these but would probably be more prominent in his og story

but brackenfur is quietly the biggest mess in the family. Being on pare with confidence and energy as cinderpelt when they were young, after her accident somethin changed for him. he loved his sister but is a big distant. but its hardly noticeable between the two as they worked very separate jobs in the clan

then his other sister, brightpaw has her accident and brackenfur begins to question something

but when he his the last to leave in the thunderclan group to their new home he stops and looks back at his mother frostfur who is old and frail look, though she wasnt young the damage of the forest hit her hard.

this when brackenfur decides starclan has it out for his family, especially the mollies. they were cursed he was sure.

moons later he is expecting his kits with sorreltail, letting his mind rest on the idea, the crazy notion that some greater force wanted the she-cats in his family dead.

then the day his kits arrive cinderpelt dies to the badgers. he pushes down these feelings down again it was the time. But he couldn’t help but think that, if leafpool was there, if starclan had given them a sign of the badgers, anything. maybe cinderpelt might have lived. but he pushes it back down and tells himself it was a warriors death

and then his daughter, cinderpaw is struck by the tree and the stirring in his mind grows stronger. why has starclan done this to his family

then honeyfern gets bit by the snake. how could starclan be so cruel, their always so young.

then his sweet sorreltail fought strongly for her two young daughters future

and on his own, forced to watch seedpaw drown and lilypaw be haunted by what happened.

the women in brackenfurs family is cursed and he bears the burden of relizing it, of living and watching each of them suffer until the end

to the ones that lived and are happy still, with no burdens in their lives he watches happily making sure NOTHING bad comes their way. he would fight starclan themselves to make sure his family is safe and happy

Breezepelt

in design Breezepelt has a p average length tail. which for him is a huge disappointment. His father crowfeather has a long slender windclan tail, a trait that is held to high standards in his family. a trait passed all the way down from windstar herself who had the longest and most beautifully windy tail.

Breezepelt has a angry spot about this because he feels lacking and especially disconnected to his father. BUT double this with jayfeather having only half windclan blood has a tail even longer than crowfeathers

i also would NOT put breezepelt with heathertail, i dont see any reason for it. like first off this bitch gay, id love for him to have a boyfriend and it think it should be berrynose because one, their both terrible i think it be funny and i also think its funny to ship berrynose with lionblaze or jayfeather so im like, whats another brother (to be clear not shipped all together, this is separately) and two, the idea heathertail and poppyfrost lesbian could exist

then the big BIg thing is, i would take breezepelts character and gut what happened in crowfeathers trial out of both him and crowfeather

i talk about it a bit here, but i think ill re talk about it in full when i get to crowfeather https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/190544981670/breezepelt

Briarlight

miss briarlight i love you!!

very sweetgirl

i based her design off sakuras and bleed heart doves. idk what possessed me but when i went to design her i knEW she was gonna be pink she needed to be she deserved it

briarlight buff as shit in her forlegs she loves trying to rope leafpool and jayfeather into lil strength contest she always wins (sometimes she will let leafpool win on days she needs it)

her and jayfeather are wlw/mlm best friends. jayfeather calls her pidge which started as a mean nickname that she simply loved and embraced fully

also in my AU with medicat lionblaze i can very much see briarlight and lionblaze being very sweet friends. like big strong lionblaze who is actually docile and compassionate about his work and briarlight loud and rooting him on

Brick

swear to god until i got back into warrior cats this year i had always thought brick was a lady and her and bone were suppous to be scourges like adoptive bad parents jkdg

anyways im still with that, she/her agender brick who adopts their terrible son scourge and is in a monogamous partnership with bone’s. strictly business defiantly not married, they just have a son together.

Brindlewing

idk a ton about her, but from her wiki it dsjkgh doesnt look like theirs alot

but i’d like to imagine she’s a very anxious girl and struggles in crowds especially around cat she doesn't know. she feels more comfortable when one of her sisters is with her or her grandmother nightcloud. Nightcloud has always been a source of self confidence for her and they love each very much.

Brindlewing also inherited crowfeather’s family long tail that skipped breezepelt. Brindlewing holds the tail in her mouth as a means of helping her anxiety.

Bristlefrost

a biG design overhaul for my bristlefrost design, i really didnt like the old design i made her. wanted her to be a lil darker colored and in general have a cuter design

i gave her diff color eyes to mark her double agent status one eye green like her fathers and the other sharing the same blue i use for ashfur’s eye color

i kept her with the one white paw which i give to any descendent of jake, just because canonically she is ivy and ferns kid.

but in my rewrite their not togeather. Fernsong was a kittypet or a loner who had lost their mate and home and was found by ivypool caring for his three kittens alone. this is more fernsong headcanon, but bristlefrost is there

bristle and all the kits love ivypool they look up to her big time and all wished she was their mentor when they became apprentices.

bristlefrost often confides in her father when feeling guilty or unsure of herself and he is always there for her

Bristlekit

half brother to tallstar

i imagine woolytail’s family seems to have a high mortality rate with their kids with only one maybe two usually making it to adulthood. bristlekit would die before becoming an apprentice and spent time in starclan with finchkit and later rabbitkit waiting for wrenflight and tallstar.

if bristlekit made it to being a warrior id like to think he was named Bristlefeather or Bristlefoot

Brook where small fish swim

teeny update to my brook design to give her small white fish dots matching her brothers spots

her general design is mean to be loosely based on a mountain lion.

she got strong powerful mountain climbing body

i also wish her romance was better developed and wasnt like based in a lot of white savior romance plots given to native and native coded characters

in general the tribe really shoulda just been written better

Brownpaw

brownpaw, brother to littlecloud killed mosspaw as a kit on accident and was apprenticed for it by brokenstar

i imagine him and his brother wetfoot killing mosspaw effect them both deeply. for wetfoot it shook him to the core and made his doubt his own claws

for brownpaw it set him down the path of destruction. brokenstar rewarding him for what happened with mosspaw was the biggest enabler

brownpaw would go on to be a blood thirsty apprentice who would throw his young life away under brokenstars order of attack.

had he been made a warrior i think brokenstar woulda named him Brownmoss claiming he had earned the name when he took it from mosspaw.

Bug

design for bug because i think the book she was in didnt exist when i originally started drawing every warrior cat

love her!

bumblestripe

bumblestripe’s character makes me sad

im SUCH a millie stan and for one of her kids to be disabled then treated like garbage to the end of her life and written super ablest and then her other two kids are total shit heads? makes me sad

i wish at lEAST millie and graystripe had a second little, maybe just one total sweetheart

and its been forever since i read the books. but i remember bumblestripe being a real nobody characters just very generic personality until romance plot for dovewing came into play. and now he super sucks!

i wish he coulda just been a good character who loved dovewing, is sad and kinda jealous of her feelings for tigerheart but in the end respects her decisions and even admires her courage to follow her heart even if it led her over the borders.

Buster/Rippletail

slight buster redesign to fit more in the circus clown look from when he was in the kin

also design note, he’s got an orange themed design to go along with his rainbow themed siblings

Buzzardkit

windclan kit who showed up once in the sight crying and being comforted by a queen

mm i think some good warrior names for them woulda been like

buzzardface, Buzzardshriek or buzzardwhistle

56 notes · View notes

staircasttext · 3 years

Text

Ep 18: Purrlock Holmes

Episode 18

[intro music]

LIZ: That's the price for being a cool tattoo bad guy now.

PAZ: Yeah, with my little cow.

JULIAN: Yeah, Paz's cow tattoo has made them a regular Tigerclaw.

LIZ: Yes, stealing cows is a crime.

PAZ: Tigerclaw's that guy who has like, Mom tattooed on his huge bicep. Does he have a canonical-- does he have mom problems? I don't even know.

JULIAN: Oh, I don't remember.

PAZ: I typed that into google. Martial arts supplies. You don't...

JULIAN: Oh, no. Here, I pulled up the wiki. Um, his mother was Leopardfoot, who only appears in the super editions.

PAZ: Oh, she was apparently the mate of the former leader, Pinestar.

JULIAN: Damn.

PAZ: Maybe he has daddy issues.

LIZ: Maybe he's like--

PAZ: It sounds like maybe he has daddy issues.

JULIAN: Oh damn. Goosefeather asks why the clan leader's mate had such a hard birth, saying StarClan was angry.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: [gasps] StarClan said this baby was evil.

JULIAN: The old medicine cat also sees evil in Tigerkit and tries to warn the clan.

LIZ: What?!

JULIAN: Assigned evil at kitten.

LIZ: Does StarClan like--

PAZ: Does he get--

LIZ: No, go ahead.

PAZ: Does he murder that medicine cat at zero days old? What happened to her?

LIZ: Oh, I bet he did. They fucking like Damian'ed this tiny baby cat.

PAZ: Is this in like a super edition? Maybe we gotta read that one.

JULIAN: Yeah, it is. It's in the Bluestar's Prophecy super edition.

LIZ: This is so funny.

JULIAN: There's also-- "during Snowfur's kitting, Bluefur brings a stick and tells Leopardfoot that it's for Snowfur to clamp her jaws on when the pains come. Leopardfoot remembers her painful kitting, wishing she also had a stick."

PAZ: Why didn't anyone bring her a stick?

JULIAN: Why didn't anyone get her a stick?

LIZ: They have a forest. They have to have them.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: There's a lot of sticks.

LIZ: You don't need a big one. They're cats.

PAZ: Aren't there sticks all around their camp?

LIZ: They're probably sleeping on some. Just like, get one. What if--

PAZ: Okay, extremely funny.

LIZ: Leopardfoot sounds just normal right now.

PAZ: Yeah, except she has a horrible evil infant.

JULIAN: She doesn't seem to really have a personality beyond mother, based on this.

PAZ: From what I'm reading about Pinestar, I think maybe Tigerclaw had some daddy issues because Pinestar apparently left to go be a kittypet.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: Yeah, the drama.

JULIAN: Well, shit.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: I don't know if it ever comes up in the main series. I don't know.

LIZ: Pinestar's got it right.

PAZ: Yeah, Pinestar did what we have been saying this whole podcast.

LIZ: He's like, fuck all of this. I'm going inside.

JULIAN: Do it. Get out.

LIZ: Also, my baby is evil. I'm out of here.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: What if this baby just had bad vibes?

PAZ: Your baby ever have such bad vibes you move? You move to another country.

JULIAN: Yeah, this whole Pinestar backstory only appears in the super editions.

PAZ: Huh.

LIZ: This is so funny.

PAZ: What? "When StarClan began urging Pinestar to kill his own son."

LIZ: What?

JULIAN: Holy shit.

PAZ: That's why he left. He was... wait, he was twins with Jake?

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: The intricacies.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: There's so many layers here. Wow. Wow.

LIZ: I mean, like if you look at the map that's in the book, they all kind of just live in the same neighborhood.

PAZ: I know.

LIZ: It's a very small community.

JULIAN: Tight knit.

PAZ: Wow. [laughing] Hi everyone. Welcome to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz. Was that bonus content?

PAZ: No, that's cold open, baby.

LIZ: We gotta put some spoilers.

PAZ: I don't think Pinestar from the bonus novels is that much--

LIZ: What if people want to read the bonus novels?

PAZ: Well...

LIZ: You don't know.

PAZ: Too bad. Pinestar is described as "massive."

LIZ: Big boy.

JULIAN: Tigerclaw had to get it from somewhere.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: What if Pinestar just looks like Bone Bone?

JULIAN: [yelps] Sorry about what that did to my audio.

LIZ: So Tigerclaw sees this little kittypet baby come into his home and is like, I'm going to have father issues right now.

PAZ: Yeah, apparently that's what happened.

LIZ: At this baby.

PAZ: That does seem to be the case, huh.

LIZ: That's so extremely funny.

PAZ: Oh, that's incredible. Well, we didn't read about Pinestar this week. We're still just reading Forest of Secrets. Um, what the fuck did we read? Chapter four through chapter six. Guys, there's a lot of secrets in this forest.

JULIAN: Yeah, this forest I would say is very secretive.

PAZ: Maybe there wouldn't be so much secrets if any of the cats talked to each other, but.

JULIAN: I think the cats should have a sharing circle. I know they have gatherings, and Bluestar calls them to hang out at the high rock or whatever. But I think they need more.

PAZ: Or even like an anonymous message board. They could just post things on a tree.

LIZ: They need Gossip Girl.

PAZ: [laughing] Gossip Girl.

JULIAN: Are you suggesting that the cats develop Yik Yak?

PAZ: Yes. I like Warriors Gossip Girl.

JULIAN: Warriors Gossip Girl is very good.

PAZ: I hope someone wrote that.

JULIAN: I hope someone did too.

LIZ: [typing] Warrior Cats Gossip Girl.

JULIAN: Pop on over to Warriors - Erin Hunter.

PAZ: Any hits?

JULIAN: Zero works found.

PAZ: Oh my god. Once again, we're putting out a call to action.

LIZ: There is a fan art, I think, or a regular art of someone called Ivypool from last year. But it's just captioned "xoxo, Gossip Girl."

PAZ: I think that must be a newer character. I don't remember them.

LIZ: Maybe she's the Gossip Girl.

PAZ: Or it could be an OC.

LIZ: Maybe someone's doing the thing that Warrior Cats needs, then. I support them.

PAZ: Yeah. Finally.

JULIAN: Sorry. I stumbled upon a fancast website. Someone has fancast John Boyega as Lionblaze.

PAZ: Oh my god. Stop, that's gonna make me have to like Lionblaze, who I think is so boring.

LIZ: These cats are British. I keep remembering that.

PAZ: That'd be a great VA, though. Let John Boyega voice some cats.

JULIAN: Fancasting suggestion made by totaltrashfiremammal.

PAZ: Great idea. Should we--

LIZ: What were we doing?

JULIAN: Let's--

PAZ: Wow. Distracted before we even said anything about what we read. Okay. Chapter four. Fireheart, Graystripe and Sandstorm are out hunting, and it looks like leafbare will be over soon. Fireheart sees Brackenpaw having fun with the other two and misses Cinderpaw, wishing she was still his apprentice. He catches a rabbit, and Bluestar says to bring it to Yellowfang, who is training Cinderpaw in medicine. He remembers Tigerclaw injuring Cinderpaw and how dangerous he is to the clan.

The next day, Fireheart and Graystripe sneak into RiverClan territory to talk to Silverstream to ask about Redtail and Oakheart. Silverstream says she wasn't there when he died, but brings her friend Mistyfoot, a gray cat who seems familiar to Fireheart, and who fought in the battle where Oakheart died. Mistyfoot confirms Ravenpaw's story about Oakheart dying in a rockfall accident and reveals that he was her father and that Stonefur is her brother. She says she can ask her mother Graypool, an elder now, to talk to him another time about what Oakheart said about Stonefur.

Chapter five. Fireheart returns to camp where everyone makes fun of him for being stinky, a disguise for smelling-- for covering up that he'd been in RiverClan. He sees Cloudkit impatiently asking Brindleface why he can't be an apprentice yet. Bluestar announces two new apprentices, Thornpaw and Brightpaw. Graystripe returns and says the meeting with Graypool is arranged for tomorrow.

The next day, Fireheart and Graystripe meet with Mistyfoot, Silverstream, and Graypool. Fireheart asks what Oakheart meant when he said no ThunderClan cat should ever harm Stonefur. Graypool asks the other cats to leave so she can speak to Fireheart alone. She reveals that she isn't Mistyfoot and Stonefur's biological mother and that Oakheart brought them to her as abandoned kits to raise. She said she didn't believe him and that she could tell back then that the kits smelled like ThunderClan.

Chapter six. Fireheart is shocked at what Graypool says, asking if Oakheart stole the kits. Graypool says Oakheart would never. She also says she raised Mistyfoot and Stonefur because she respected Oakheart and she didn't want their loyalty to be divided, and that she will rip out Fireheart's liver if he ever tells them. Graypool rules. He promises not to and is very respectful. She also says they never suspected anything, especially since they look so much like her (gray cats) which Fireheart thinks about briefly before forgetting.

Fireheart returns to camp and goes to talk to Bluestar, a gray cat, about what he's learned. He tells her about going to see Ravenpaw and the RiverClan she-cats, everything about Oakheart dying on accident, and how it means Tigerclaw was lying about killing him, and how dangerous Tigerclaw is to the clan. Bluestar seems thoughtful, but when Fireheart tells her that he learned about Mistyfoot and Stonefur, she gets angry and immediately dismisses him. She says to never bring it up again, that maybe Tigerclaw was right to doubt his loyalty, and Fireheart is bewildered, wondering if he's blown his chance to convince her. And that's the end of the readings this week.

LIZ: Gray is a very common color. It's kind of like--

PAZ: That's true. It is.

LIZ: It's the most neutral of the colors.

JULIAN: It could happen to anybody.

PAZ: They're not like fucking white cats.

LIZ: Or an orange cat.

PAZ: No, there's another orange. One of the new apprentices was orange, apparently.

LIZ: Yeah, orange and white. Seems to be more common than... I don't know. Get it together, ThunderClan.

PAZ: Well, that really just shows they're just cat racist because there are other orange and white cats in the clan.

JULIAN: I love Graypool.

LIZ: She's great.

JULIAN: Just got to get that right out there.

PAZ: Yeah, she's so good.

JULIAN: Cranky old grandma. I love her.

PAZ: I love all the old she-cats in this book. Yellowfang, now Graypool.

LIZ: They're all just like, oooh, my arthritis. You kids these days.

PAZ: She even says something like that.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, Fireheart brings her a mouse and she's like, well, I'm glad you're respectful at least, with this undertone of like, everyone else sucks.

PAZ: Yeah. Fireheart's bringing a gift for being allowed to stay over at her house.

LIZ: Fireheart brings her edible arrangements to Grandma. He's a nice young man. This is why he's the favorite of all the grandmas.

JULIAN: He is a nice young man.

PAZ: He is a good nice young man.

LIZ: Except for the President.

PAZ: Yeah, we'll get to Bluestar, but man.

LIZ: Listen, he's got like, what, three now? So it's okay.

PAZ: Um, but should we go back to the beginning of chapter four?

JULIAN: Yeah, this little hunting trip is cute. Brackenpaw starts defending Graystripe. And it's like he does not deserve you.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Right. It made me really sad. I'm like, Graystripe has abandoned you like 80% of your apprenticeship.

LIZ: And that's such a long time when you're a cat. Brackenpaw's probably like 16 now in cat years.

JULIAN: That's a nice young man.

PAZ: That is a nice young man, and he deserves a better teacher.

LIZ: Maybe Sandstorm will be his teacher.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't know if Gray-- Graypelt-- fuck. Graystripe.

LIZ: Lots of gray cats.

PAZ: I forgot his name. I wanted to banish him from my mind. I don't even know if Graystripe is training him still, even.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's like is Brackenpaw like-- does he have the skills he needs to become a warrior? Is he gonna pass the cat SATs?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: What's that thing you do when you have like the self guided study thing, but it's in high school?

JULIAN: An independent study?

LIZ: You know what I mean? Yeah, maybe he just has that, but it's like his whole day.

PAZ: What he has is like five different teachers, none of whom are Graystripe.

JULIAN: It takes a village. Ugh.

PAZ: Also very important, in this chapter in the scene after the hunting, there's a description of Yellowfang loafing.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes!

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: It was like one line, but I was like, oh my god. Picturing it.

LIZ: She's just like, little old lady loaf.

PAZ: She'd look like a cloud with all that fur.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh!

LIZ: Yellowfang, another gray cat.

JULIAN: I want to scrumble her so bad.

PAZ: She would bite your hand off.

JULIAN: I know. It would be worth it.

LIZ: She'd be real slow, though. She's a little old lady.

JULIAN: Yeah, maybe she doesn't have all her teeth. Maybe I'd be fine.

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah, there's another description of Graypool. I think that's other old lady RiverClan cat, where it mentioned like all her broken teeth. Her little old missing lady teeth.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: [wails]

LIZ: Maybe Yellowfang is, despite her name, she's like Chloe. She's just like, no teeth.

JULIAN: Bluestar is gonna have to rename her to Nofang.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No! Bluestar's so bad at this.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: I think Bluestar does a real bad renaming soon. Maybe in the next book. I think it's coming up. So yeah, Bluestar does suck at this.

JULIAN: Yeah, she has some-- pretty few jobs. She has a lot of jobs. But she doesn't do great at the one she has.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No. Really does not. Yeah, I mean, but in the medicine den is like Cinderpaw and Yellowfang. And they have very cute interactions, but Fireheart's man pain.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: And like guilt.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: It's never ending. I'm like, Can you just shut up?

JULIAN: It's like every other sentence, just like, oh, what she could have had. But tragedy took it from us.

LIZ: Oh my God.

PAZ: It's really frustrating because like, that's just like, what he's been like, if he hadn't been thinking that, Cinderpaw seems like she's having a fine time. But he's still hung up on that.

LIZ: His man pain's really typical. Because it's like, I wish I could spend more time with basically my daughter. Time to go.

JULIAN: Yeah. It's like, oh, if only there were something I could do to make this poor child's life easier. Bye! I thought about how sad it made me, and that's the same as doing something.

LIZ: I wish I had a nice relationship with my child. Gotta go.

JULIAN: Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw should talk.

PAZ: Yeah, they got some deadbeat teachers in differing ways here.

LIZ: Maybe they do. And we just don't see it because we're only seeing it from Fireheart's point of view, and he's never there.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: God. Yeah, I mean, sort of on that note, I think, Liz, you pointed out that, like, the narration uses the word cripple to talk about her a lot.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Which is like, yikes. But I think in a lot of ways that kind of fits with the like, the tone that Fireheart has of this sort of like paternalistic, like, oh, poor Cinderpaw. Poor, helpless Cinderpaw. Like I think just sort of doing a quick look into the history of the word, like a lot of disabled people have either reclaimed it or consider it a slur. But also, like, its history is very much one of like, being tied to like, really paternalistic, like, oh, we gotta save the poor children. And like not viewing people, disabled people as like, adults with agency, or people who will become adults with agency.

LIZ: It's kind of sad and interesting that this is also like, it's the narrative's point of view, right? This is what the reader is supposed to think as well.

JULIAN: Yeah, definitely.

PAZ: Because, like, if this had been on purpose, and would be like, investigating and critiqued at some point, it'd be very, like, accurate, sort of depiction of the way people treat disabled people. But it's not.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: It is an accurate depiction of the ways that-- [laughter]

PAZ: Because they're just not thinking about it. It's just like the societal, like, views of the author just coming through.

JULIAN: Yeah. I'm glad that Cinderpaw has Yellowfang at least. Like their relationship is really good.

LIZ: Yeah, they're really sweet.

PAZ: Yellowfang would be such a cool teacher to have.

LIZ: She's one, around. She sticks up for Cinderpaw a lot, too, which is nice. And I know a lot is um, comparatively low bar compared to everyone else. I'm glad to see it.

JULIAN: It also seems like she's like, hey, like, you know, you're like a very energetic young cat. Let's find you something to do.

PAZ: Yeah, like, she assigns tasks to Cinderpaw. She's not like Fireheart, where it's like, no, Cinderpaw, she can't do anything now. That scene does make Fireheart remember, though, that Tigerclaw's evil. He has to keep being reminded.

LIZ: I know it's like--

JULIAN: I think he should get some post it notes.

PAZ: That's what I'm saying.

LIZ: The way it's written, it seems like-- it feels like he forgets and it just comes back now and then in a way that's like, very accurately cat like. I know it's like-- cause it's for the reader, right? It's like, oh, this happened like two books ago, but.

PAZ: I'll give him points. He takes the last step. He does a lot of investigative work this set of chapters.

JULIAN: He does. He's doing his little detective routine.

PAZ: Yeah, he's a regular Sherlock Holmes here.

LIZ: Don't you mean Purrlock Holmes?

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: He's a regular gumpaw.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Aw. I do have to critique his plan when they're like, oh, we have to go into RiverClan territory and hide out for Silverstream.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Both of us.

PAZ: The note--

JULIAN: Like, you couldn'ta just met her at Fourtrees and asked her there?

PAZ: The note I wrote in my notes was "Fireheart back to being dumb here. Proximity to Graystripe."

[laughter]

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess in fiction the reason for that was like, he's like, [gruffly] I can't wait. But I think he could have waited maybe a little.

LIZ: Is that what he sounds like in your head?

PAZ: I don't know. Yeah, maybe he's like-- I feel like he'd have that like shonen boy protag like voice conviction.

JULIAN: I do-- the description of Silverstream is so funny.

LIZ: It is.

PAZ: Spottedleaf, move aside.

LIZ: Can we get a read on her description? It's really good.

JULIAN: Yeah. "Fireheart watched the RiverClan she-cat stepping delicately across the ice toward the bank. She was certainly beautiful, he realized, with a finely shaped head, and thick, sleek fur. No wonder Graystripe was captivated by her." Finely-shaped head?!

PAZ: The authors are trying so hard on how to write cat attractiveness.

JULIAN: What makes a cat sexy? Is it the head shape? I think it's the head shape. I mean, like, I would rather it be a finely shaped head than like her curvy butt or whatever.

LIZ: I know how that would happen, though. It would be like her finely shaped rump or something.

JULIAN: Her like sinuous flanks.

LIZ: Ew.

PAZ: Yeah, it's funny, but it's way better than what could be.

LIZ: Do you think they're gonna hit like their stride later, and it's just gonna be oh, she had beautiful fur and luminous eyes, and then you can just stop.

PAZ: Probably. There's a lot of cat romance in these books. They got to get practice. Shout outs to RiverClan for having an island that they live on?

LIZ: Yeah, that's really good.

PAZ: That's so defensible.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's good as hell.

PAZ: Nobody's invading them.

JULIAN: They're the only ones who can swim.

PAZ: Meanwhile, WindClan's just sleeping in a hollow in the hills. No wonder they've been attacked twice.

LIZ: Someone please save these cats.

PAZ: I'm gonna go build those cats a house.

JULIAN: Also shout out to Mistyfoot for being sort of the beleaguered best friend.

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah, I did love that vibe.

LIZ: Isn't she like a mom? Did I read that wrong?

PAZ: No, Mistyfoot, I think is like, kind of maybe like a little older than Silverstream, I think?

LIZ: Maybe I'm just confused by all the mom stuff happening. I could have sworn she's like, I have to get back to my kits.

PAZ: She's the one who says Graypool was-- oh, maybe. I don't know. Maybe she did.

JULIAN: I think she might have mentioned kits. Hold up. I don't see that. But I might be missing it.

PAZ: I'm looking.

LIZ: It's not super important.

PAZ: Yeah, she does mention I've left my kits.

LIZ: Oh, okay, good.

PAZ: I think her and Silverstream are like peers.

LIZ: Yeah, I just mentioned it because it's very funny to have your best friend, who is the president's daughter, just be like okay, I've gotta go meet up with my boyfriend, who is from the enemy clan, and also his friend. And we're gonna talk about all this secret shit. And it's just like, I'm living my normal life.

PAZ: She's in her own YA novel.

LIZ: She is down, though. She's like, okay, I'll bring my mom to talk to you enemy cats.

PAZ: Yeah, she's surprisingly chill. You know, Julian, I can see why you might have liked RiverClan as a kid. There's a lot of cool she-cats in RiverClan. I'll give them that.

JULIAN: I think it was also just like RiverClan was my clan for my RP OC, so it's a lot of sort of reflected affection.

LIZ: Like aesthetically, also, it's a very cool one. And also I'll give it to you if not Graystripe.

PAZ: I can't remember who the cat in the New Prophecy for RiverClan was.

LIZ: Fishtail.

PAZ: No, hold on, I'm looking.

LIZ: Swimfoot.

JULIAN: Salmonbelly.

PAZ: Warriors wiki, where are you?

LIZ: Salmonbelly was born with a very pink tummy.

PAZ: Can I-- who the fuck was it?

JULIAN: Stormfur?

PAZ: Maybe.

JULIAN: Never mind.

PAZ: Feathertail?

LIZ: Butterflystroke.

PAZ: Okay, Feathertail was from-- I don't remember this book. Who are you people?

JULIAN: Okay, Feathertail is a RiverClan.

PAZ: They're fucking point of view characters? I don't remember these people. Wow.

LIZ: That makes sense. You said they do like to have more cats per book later on or something.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah, the following series, I think everything since the first series has like rotating POV characters.

LIZ: Sounds fun.

PAZ: Wow, I can't believe I just don't remember this.

JULIAN: I read the whole New Prophecy and I don't remember any of this.

PAZ: I did too. It was my favorite. I remember-- I mean, okay, I remember like, obviously, like Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, Leafpool, Crowfeather, Ashfur. What book were Stormfur and Feathertail? Apparently they didn't leave a big impression on me.

LIZ: I'm excited to get to it, just--

PAZ: Oh, I love the New Prophecy. I think it still might be my favorite out of the three series I've read.

LIZ: Is it the second one, right? So we're three books away. Is that right? Three?

PAZ: I have no idea.

LIZ: How many--

JULIAN: Yeah, cause there's six per series.

LIZ: That's an afternoon of reading.

JULIAN: Yeah, slam right through em. This is a little bit unrelated. And I don't know if we have more to talk about with this first meeting. But the image of Fireheart showing up to these kits' naming ceremonies absolutely covered in shit.

PAZ: Literally, it's very funny.

JULIAN: Reeking.

PAZ: I like that Sandstorm just teases him.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really cute.

PAZ: They're very cute together.

JULIAN: Yeah. It's just like the image of like, you know, your shitty cousin arrives at your kindergarten graduation, like covered in feces. No one will sit near him.

LIZ: But he's very supportive. God, is he gonna take a bath?

PAZ: I guess-- I guess so.

JULIAN: How is he gonna? Is he gonna like go in the river?

PAZ: Wasn't there something in the last book where he--

JULIAN: Is he gonna have to lick his shit off himself?

PAZ: No, no, there was something in the last book where he also had to go in the river to wash off something.

JULIAN: Oh, that's right. He had-- it was mouse bile.

LIZ: Ew.

PAZ: Yeah, that was the first book so yes, they did do that.

LIZ: All right, thank god.

PAZ: Not just gonna lick that off. Yeah.

LIZ: So this advice was from Graystripe. Do you think every time he's got to take a bath he's like, ohhh, my forbidden romance requires me to roll in feces and then take a bath, two of the things that I hate as a cat.

PAZ: He's dedicated. That's my nice comment about Graystripe for the day.

LIZ: Is it true love until you-- I can't finish the sentence.

PAZ: Yeah, there's a naming ceremony. I couldn't tell if they were really big babies because they were like Cinderpaw and Brackenfur's siblings. But I was like, are they from the same litter? Why are they so big?

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't know.

PAZ: Bluestar's always going on about how we need more warriors and then she's not making people warriors. She's not making people apprentices.

JULIAN: Just a sec.

PAZ: Okay.

JULIAN: Sorry.

PAZ: What was it?

JULIAN: It was mango pomelo cheese tea.

LIZ: Ooh.

PAZ: Ooh. Damn.

JULIAN: It is very good.

PAZ: That is important to try.

LIZ: Damn, I want something-- I want a fancy drink.

JULIAN: Naming ceremony. Bluestar's inability to move her kits along the path at any sort of rate.

PAZ: I'm really starting to have questions about Bluestar's ability to lead.

LIZ: What happened to the girlboss of our dreams?

PAZ: Well, it's just Graypool now.

JULIAN: Although I guess--

LIZ: But she's retired.

JULIAN: They can't become apprentices until they're six months old. How often can cats have litters?

LIZ: This is so crucial.

JULIAN: Oh my god. "Once pregnant, a cat's gestation period is roughly two months, making it possible for her to birth as many as five litters a year."

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

LIZ: Ahh!

PAZ: Holy shit.

JULIAN: So it could be just another litter.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess so. Nevermind. Yeah, cause they could just be like two months younger.

JULIAN: God, that's horrifying.

PAZ: What a nightmare.

LIZ: That's scary. I am looking at six month old kittens for just like reference. This is a pretty big cat. Gonna show you a little baby. Or I will if I can copy paste anything correctly. Yeah.

PAZ: That's a full cat there.

JULIAN: Oh yeah. That's a little boy.

LIZ: Yeah. So that means Cloudkit's even bigger than this.

PAZ: No, no, no, Cloudkit's younger.

LIZ: Right? I mean, like, yeah, he's younger, but he says he's like, bigger, right?

PAZ: Does he?

JULIAN: He does, but I get the sense that we're not supposed to take that seriously.

LIZ: It's all fluff. He poofs himself up real big.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Oh, buddy.

LIZ: Or he's just like a big baby. Which is also good to me.

PAZ: That'd be great. After that naming ceremony though is the Graypool scene where, very funny. The scene where like Silverstream and Mistyfoot were walking her out on her little grandma walk.

JULIAN: I love her. Also the scandal here that she reveals.

PAZ: Oh, yes.

JULIAN: Absolutely incredible.

PAZ: Very big gasp moment.

LIZ: She's pretty casual about it. She's just like, yeah, I'll tell you. Everyone else leave.

PAZ: It's because Fireheart brought her a mouse. He's a nice young boy.

LIZ: You seem like an upstanding gentleman. You're my grandson now.

JULIAN: It's the one mouse per secret rule.

LIZ: If you give her like 10 mice, two per day, you get up to her, what, 10 hearts event? Where she just legally adopts you as her grandchild.

PAZ: Oh, perfect.

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: Yeah, she really did-- before she said like, okay, everyone else leave, she looked at Fireheart for a really long time. I think she was perceiving his protagonist halo.

JULIAN: She can see it.

PAZ: And she's like, oh, okay, everyone else get out.

LIZ: She's like, that's a really orange cat.

JULIAN: God, this bit about when Fireheart is like, oh, did he steal the cats? Oakheat is not a kit stealer!

LIZ: God.

PAZ: He's not in Megaboneclan. Don't even imply it. I wonder if that's where they got the idea from?

JULIAN: Maybe.

PAZ: Fascinating.

JULIAN: I feel like there's like a lot of a lot of kit stealing throughout the books. There was some in--

PAZ: Oh, you're right. There was.

JULIAN: Earlier, too.

PAZ: You're right. I just keep forgetting about that.

JULIAN: I mean, it was like, all things considered, fairly minor as far as like, plot repercussions.

LIZ: They seem just like normal cats now. They're not like-- they didn't grow up evil. They didn't grow up, like, very sad. They just kind of--

PAZ: Yeah, Graypool's whole thing is like, don't tell them because I don't want them to feel conflicted suddenly. And I think Fireheart had like a good character moment where he's like, oh, I like totally understand how that feels and I don't think they should have to deal with that.

LIZ: I did like--

JULIAN: I mean, yeah. I think that she should tell them they're adopted, but.

PAZ: Well, considering that like--

JULIAN: But considering the circumstances.

PAZ: Everyone's at war constantly and hates each other, maybe, maybe not.

LIZ: And they've got some sort of weird blood purity thing sometimes.

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: I think they personally seem well adjusted enough and have a nice mom that they'd be like, oh, you're still our mom. Thank you. Sad about all of that we're from an enemy clan that seems to be doing some real shit right now, but.

PAZ: Yeah, but if other RiverClan cats found out.

JULIAN: Yeah, that would be bad.

PAZ: That might be bad. After that Graypool scene is the Bluestar scene, I think.

JULIAN: Yeah. Fireheart learns from his earlier mistakes and is like, I'm gonna tell Bluestar right away so I don't forget.

PAZ: Good. Good start.

JULIAN: I don't get distracted. Which, you know, good. And then it goes real bad.

LIZ: Well, it's at least it's not his fault this time. He did the best he could.

PAZ: Yeah, he has a very solid case laid out. Like with multiple witnesses and sources. But Bluestar's like, own personal drama makes her a real like, dumb ass about this.

JULIAN: Yeah, she completely shuts down. And Fireheart is blaming himself, which I don't think he should.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah, like the moment he mentions the RiverClan cats, that's when she shuts him down.

LIZ: Maybe she is just threatened by these coincidentally, like gray cats. She's like, oh, another gray cat? Two other gray cats? What if they want my presidency? No other reasons.

JULIAN: That who is that other dog comic, but.

PAZ: Yeah, poor Fireheart He's trying so hard to stop everyone from getting murdered-- specifically Bluestar from getting murdered. Like she's top of the murder list.

JULIAN: I know.

PAZ: And she is just thwarting his every move.

LIZ: She's got big about to like get fridged energy.

PAZ: It's like, then perish. If you're not gonna listen to him, then perish.

LIZ: Fireheart is constantly just like throwing himself in front of her like, get down Miss President.

PAZ: She stands up.

JULIAN: I described Bluestar as a girl boss earlier, and Han was like, oh, does she like also gatekeep and gaslight? And yes, she does.

PAZ: Oh, she sure does.

LIZ: She does. Mm-hmm.

PAZ: She's in prime form this chapter. Yeah, okay, here's a-- I'll just read to give you that flavor. "Bluestar let out a long breath. All the interest she had shown before had vanished, leaving her expression cold and remote. 'Go,' she ordered. 'Find yourself something useful to do, something that befits a warrior and never, never mention this to me again. Do you understand?'"

LIZ: Oh shit.

PAZ: It's like, ma'am.

JULIAN: Sorry, his ending little thing is like, "thistles and thorns, he thought."

PAZ: Yeah, it's very very cute.

JULIAN: Which is really cute.

LIZ: That's so cute little. They're little guys.

JULIAN: Yeah, their little cat figures of speech.

PAZ: There was another one in this set of chapters that was something like, darker than a crow's wing or something like that. Just good stuff.

LIZ: I think that's the whole chapter then, right?

PAZ: Yeah. It is. It was a pretty juicy set of chapters. Lots of just-- but it's all kind of around like the same stuff. Just that RiverClan investigation.

JULIAN: That kit parentage.

LIZ: I like the way the conflict is like continuing. It feels very frustrating to read. But it's like, yeah, it would be frustrating. This is good escalation, I guess. It's like you have all of the info that you were looking for for your little murder mystery investigation. But like, now there's this different stuff happening.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm just really appreciating how well these books are written like, for kids novels, because I'm still rereading Uglies. And like, it's a good novel, and I'm enjoying it, but it feels like more clumsily handled, like the way plot beats are set up, like the way all the Chekhov's guns items are put in place and come back. But the Warriors is just like-- it's very well plotted and paced when stuff comes up.

LIZ: I think it definitely benefits from having a team to do it, right.

PAZ: Yeah, for sure. And I think they're all like experienced authors. I mean, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty-- at least I think Vicki Holmes is the one. I'm pretty sure she was like writing before. And then they tapped her to write the series.

JULIAN: I think Cherith Baldry is the one who actually wrote this one. Or like the main writer for this one. But she'd also written like, a bunch of different fantasy series before this.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly.

JULIAN: And I think also, just like, something I really like about these books is there's a really good sense of cat politics. Like, there's a sense that this is a larger world and there's a lot of forces at play, some of which we see and like, some of which we don't, so that when stuff kind of comes in or out, you know, it feels like there's stuff happening off screen that is affecting the plot that we don't necessarily see, in like a good way.

PAZ: Yeah. Like I mean, like we were mentioning how Mistyfoot felt like the beleaguered best friend character. Like she was in so few scenes, but like the sense of that really came across well. There really is a sense that like, there is other stuff going on with like, the other clans.

LIZ: There's this part, um, when Graystripe and Silverstream are like okay, we're gonna fuck off now. Go have fun with your meeting. And Fireheart doesn't even get to talk much, but Mistyfoot is like, don't worry, I won't eat you.

PAZ: I am excited to see what happens in this book.

JULIAN: Me too. See some more secrets.

LIZ: Will any of these secrets come out? Will more secrets be created? Who knows? This is my tagline for the book.

PAZ: What do you think the next secret will be, Liz?

LIZ: Fireheart is Tigerclaw's dad. He's a time traveler.

JULIAN: Oh shit.

LIZ: But he's got amnesia.

PAZ: Oh shit. It's like time traveling Dumbledore.

LIZ: He got reset to baby age. That's how they don't know.

PAZ: My God.

JULIAN: The power of StarClan. As the prophecies foretold.

PAZ: They said, you didn't kill your kit the first time. Go do it again.

LIZ: Oh shit.

JULIAN: Yeet you right on back.

PAZ: Wow. That rules.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Well, I can't wait to see that happen. I guess unless anyone has anything else to add, that's it for the book discussion segment.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't have anything else to add.

[meow]

PAZ: All right. So, God. I don't know what episode it was. It was around when we were discussing the Barnes and Noble RP community that we also found that like within Goodreads groups there's a thriving Warriors community. So I was clicking around some of those threads. Lots of good stuff in there. Also a lot of groups that are just like two people, and I hope that went well for them.

JULIAN: I support them.

LIZ: That just feels like the natural habitat, you know?

PAZ: Yeah, it's definitely like someone and their friend just made a Goodreads group together. Good for them.

LIZ: So good.

PAZ: But I found a great thread that is titled "What's in a name? Warrior names, do's and don'ts."

JULIAN: This is-- I just want to let our audience know, this is divided into a prologue, a second prologue, chapter before the chapter, chapter one, chapter two, chapters one through five.

LIZ: I love this.

PAZ: This is serious stuff.

JULIAN: Mod Peyton here is very clear about what needs to be done and what does not need to be done.

PAZ: Do you want to read the intro?

JULIAN: Sure. "Prologue, understanding Warriors. It's rather disheartening to see role players creating outrageous names. Carrotkit, Blueberryfang, Sneezeheart and Scrabblepaw, to name some randomly selected examples."

LIZ: Those are so good.

JULIAN: "No matter how original they seem to be." What does Peyton have against good names?

PAZ: I feel like this is specific beef. I don't know if he's randomly selected.

JULIAN: This is 100% specific beef.

LIZ: Blueberryfang. Someone out there, ugh.

PAZ: I love Sneezeheart.

LIZ: Who's the medicine cat from ShadowClan again?

PAZ: Runningnose?

JULIAN: Oh, Runningnose?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: That's the same.

JULIAN: "There's a very specific reason why Warrior Cats are given the names they have, and it's much more obvious than people make it out to be. For one, we'll start early on in warrior lore. To be a warrior, a cat must be generous and must understand self sacrifice because the foundation of the warrior code is, essentially, the clan comes first. If that fact is disregarded, it could be said that the cat is no longer a warrior or doesn't understand the ways of warriorhood." And that's why you never have any evil Warrior Cats.

PAZ: None.

JULIAN: "This is the purpose of apprenticeship, to teach the warrior in training not only to hunt and fight, but to serve the clan as a true warrior." Well, fuck Brackenpaw then. "It isn't a good name that makes a warrior, but the character of the cat. However, with a good name, every other cat will know just how well they behave or how highly revered they are in the clan. This is why Deathfang or Boneclaw is unacceptable."

LIZ: Boneclaw.

PAZ: Why?

JULIAN: "This disregards not only the warrior code but reality, or rather, Warrior Cat reality."

PAZ: Reality?!

LIZ: Boneclaw.

JULIAN: "We'll discuss this soon enough in the following chapters."

PAZ: You can't say Deathfang and Boneclaw are unacceptable when there's fucking Brokenstar and Tigerclaw.

JULIAN: Brokenstar and Crookedstar and Nightstar.

LIZ: Boneclaw's so good. I'm so mad that no one is legally allowed to use it.

PAZ: If you use that, Peyton will fucking track you down, so don't even think about it.

LIZ: Come at me, Peyton. Here's my Goodreads at.

JULIAN: "A warrior is an honorable, respectable cat, and one of the best ways to represent that reputation is a good name. Below are a few examples, before I show you just how it works." Oh. "Sandstorm. Sandkit undoubtedly describes a very pale kitten, an obvious name to give a pale ginger cat at birth."

PAZ: She's not ginger! I refuse.

JULIAN: "As Sandpaw grew up, she developed a very harsh and spiteful personality." She did not!

PAZ: I don't think so.

JULIAN: "Which we can see is illustrated in her warrior name, Sandstorm. Sand being rough illustrates your personality in being both unfriendly and rude."

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: "So therefore Sandstorm is a pale ginger tabby, with a habit of being very snappy and blunt." Peyton, I have some beef!

PAZ: I think there's a little misogyny happening here.

JULIAN: Have you heard of tsundere?

PAZ: That too. Oh my god. She is not.

JULIAN: She's not rude.

PAZ: I mean, being blunt is not the same as being rude.

JULIAN: She's also very nice to a lot of cats.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, she's unfriendly and rude like in the first book. That's about it, and they were all like teens, so. Ugh.

JULIAN: God. "Fireheart. Firepaw, as Bluestar stated, was named for his fiery coat that held the light of a blazing fire when the sun was upon it. His suffix, Bluestar also explained somewhat and not in depth, represents his caring personality. He cared for every cat, every clan, and made it obvious, even if it broke the rules of being a warrior. He wasn't afraid to support and take care of others, which meant he had heart-- a very brave and considerate heart. Fireheart, therefore, represents a dark ginger tom with a passionate personality."

PAZ: Thank you, Peyton.

JULIAN: "But there are other options in naming a warrior. For example, Goldenflower. This name describes two things: a cat, and a flower. The flower we know is yellow and the cat we know is golden and very motherly. The double meaning is a step ahead of the former names."

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: "Mentioning the cat and an object that represents them for what they look like and how they behave."

PAZ: The layers. The layers to warrior names.

LIZ: Yep.

JULIAN: "This isn't a very common way to name warriors because it is a very delicate process."

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: "But it can sometimes be the most highly revered and best way to consider. This is very similar to the names above, but don't get them confused. The former names describe the cat's appearance and personality separately and do not denote a second image found in nature. Sandstorm could be considered iffy, but it denotes her personality as sandstorms don't occur in heavily forested or grassy areas like where the cats live."

PAZ: Oh my god. It just goes on and on about like this.

JULIAN: Yep. Oh, they do mention Brokentail/Brokenstar, with their own explanations.

PAZ: Oh my god, hold on. I gotta read the legendary cats section. The second paragraph takes you out. "Everyone's heard of the legendary cat clans, LeopardClan, TigerClan, and LionClan, and cats do get prefixes from these particular cats. No, these clans did not and do not exist where the current four clans live, and are merely myths that the cats can tell. They're inspirational stories, sort of like nursery rhymes for kids today. We can safely assume that because leopards, tigers, and lions are real cats, and that because domestic cats such as ferals have lineage in them." I don't think they do. I don't think that's how the evolution happened.

JULIAN: That's not how genes work.

PAZ: That's not how it works.

LIZ: What? No.

PAZ: "That the Clans would understand what they were. It's completely acceptable to name your cat after one of the clans because they're not sacred or spiritual. Think of them as naming your little boy John, Abraham, or Matthew, if you catch my drift. They're good names for a strong representation of ancestry and appearance and work really well for traditional canon cats."

JULIAN: Tigerclaw has become Catholic this time.

PAZ: He sure fucking has.

LIZ: Can we please look at the don'ts in chapter four?

PAZ: Okay, let me scroll all the way down. Oh wait.

JULIAN: Hold up.

LIZ: Wait, wait, wait.

JULIAN: We got a cat genetics chapter.

PAZ: Wait, before that, before that. "Naming generators. Do not trust these with anything, whether it's a generator on the official Warriors site or the one on Warriors Wish."

LIZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: "Do not use these. The combinations are very poor, and needless to say, they do not follow rules of traditionalism. Names from generators are also less personal and meaningful, and it is not suggested that anyone use them." That is all in bold and underlined.

LIZ: Wow. And italics.

PAZ: Yes. Okay, continue. I think genetics is next.

JULIAN: Genetics is next. Peyton has some issues with the canon cat genetics. "Black cats cannot have blue eyes unless there's some amount of white on them. The genetics for creating the light eye gene is not found in solid black cats, and therefore is not plausible. This means that, realistically speaking, Crowfeather is not a plausible character, given his appearance."

PAZ: Crowfeather's been canceled.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: "Tabbies can have blue eyes. It is not common, but genetics allow for it if the cat is of a certain breed. Hawkfrost is plausible. Violet-eyed cats are extremely rare, even more rare than tortie toms. This does not make playing a violet-eyed cat in the wild a common feat or something that should really be considered, but it is possible."

LIZ: Is it possible?

JULIAN: Finally, in bold.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: "Tortie toms are rare and cannot live in the wild. They have very weak immune systems, are sterile, and without human/Twoleg care and medications cannot survive."

PAZ: Holy shit.

JULIAN: Okay.

LIZ: Wow, rude.

JULIAN: Cat magic? Fine. Violet-eyed cat? Fuck you.

LIZ: Tortoiseshell toms? Get the fuck out of here.

PAZ: Banned from the forum. Banned.

LIZ: Are purple eyes real? Even if it's just a shade of blue? I don't think so.

PAZ: I don't think so. I've certainly--

LIZ: I'm only seeing photoshopped cats.

PAZ: They got that Alexandria's Genesis or whatever.

LIZ: Purple eyes, white hair, does not poop.

JULIAN: Yeah, animalpath.org says, "you may have heard rumors about cats with purple eyes, but there is no known evidence of cats with purple eyes, although lighting conditions can make a blue-eyed cat's eyes appear purplish or blue violet."

LIZ: Peyton!

JULIAN: "Rare albino cats can have lilac-colored eyes, with the lilac being a soft pale shade of purple."

LIZ: What? Okay, Peyton, all right. I've got to see this. I'm only getting photoshops.

JULIAN: Yeah, I've looked this up.

LIZ: The second result I'm getting is from Warrior Cats. Warrior Cat Pelt and Eye Colors wiki.

JULIAN: This is the Photoshop.

PAZ: Oh my god. Sorry. I'm down to chapter three, the do's. "There are small things to keep in mind as far as grammar is concerned. Names are compound words. So that means names like One-eye will be hyphenated to separate the repeated letters so that it reads One dash eye. The Erins don't always do this, but that doesn't mean it's okay not to." Jesus.

LIZ: God. That's a lot of like, conjunctions.

PAZ: Does somebody want to read the don'ts?

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: It's really long. Oh, it's so long.

JULIAN: We can split it up. We don't have to read the whole thing. Or we can have people tag in and out.

LIZ: Okay, I can start. "Chapter four, the don't. What don't you do in a name? There are tons of things you don't do in a name. We'll start small and work our way up. Well, not necessarily. There's no starting small in the don't section. These are basic but unwritten rules. Some of them the Erins have said. Some of them have been observed, but all apply. One, the moon, sun, and stars are sacred to the cats. These objects or variations of the objects are not to be used in names. The moon, sun, and stars are sacred. It's why star is only allowed at the end of the leaders' names. This is a rule I'll repeat over and over if I have to get it across. Examples of unacceptable names: Moonfur, Sunclaw, Starkit. This also applies to names that expand on the above: Lunarfur, Solarclaw, Eclipseheart, Crescentpaw."

JULIAN: Damn. Sorry to rain on Peyton's parade, but there is in fact a canonical Moonflower, so.

PAZ: I'm starting to doubt Peyton's authority on the subject.

LIZ: Peyton, debate me.

JULIAN: Meet me in Fourtrees. Debate me in the marketplace of ideas.

LIZ: "Eclipse especially is a no go. An eclipse not only happens rarely but when it does happen, the result that it has on the warriors are catastrophic. So no sensible queen would name her kit after an event that leaves all shaking in fear." I think it'd be really metal. You should do that, actually.

PAZ: Yeah, like what if you're goth, and you're like, I want my evil baby.

LIZ: Boneeclipse!

JULIAN: What do you think Peyton's stance on cats with wings is?

PAZ: Kill on sight. No mercy. Mosey down.

LIZ: Who wants to-- we can go through this by numbers, I guess.

PAZ: Sure. "Two. Due to the fact that dreams are held in high regard and are sacred in the ways of warriors, no variation on the word dream is to be used. This applies to the word itself and synonyms or similar words: wish, hope, muse, desire, etc. Examples of unacceptable names: Morningdream, Dreamkit, Wishinggaze, Musemind."

JULIAN: Sorry, we got a Wishkit. Oh shit. Wishkit was one of Yellowfang's kits who died.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Oh no. I guess they died because it was an unacceptable name.

LIZ: StarClan saw the fucking birth certificate and was like fuck, no. No way. This baby? No.

PAZ: Struck down with thunder. Do you want to read the next one, Julian?

JULIAN: Yeah. "Spiritual connotations, both in the human world and cat world, are not to be used. Words such as spirit, soul, and angel denote higher levels of being, an honor not worthy of warriors."

PAZ: What?

LIZ: What?!

JULIAN: "This is only allowed for leaders through the use of star, as a suffix, to represent their connection with StarClan. Vicky has stated that spirit, soul, and other similar words would not make it primarily because of their human connotations with certain religions, which means spirit and soul are Twoleg words that warrior cats would not know about, despite contrary belief. Examples of unacceptable names."

PAZ: Holy shit, the third one in this list.

JULIAN: "Spiritsong, Angelwing, Demonsythe, and Soulflight."

LIZ: These are metal. You should use them.

PAZ: I love Demonsythe so much.

JULIAN: Please name your cat Demonsythe. Also the fact that Demonsythe-- scythe is not spelled with a C here.

PAZ: It is not.

JULIAN: This is definitely an OC. Like this is someone's cat. Someone made a Demonsythe, and Peyton said, fuck off.

LIZ: Demonsythe, if you're out there, come on our podcast. This whole-- are they saying that cats can't reach higher levels of being like humans?

PAZ: I think like they're saying is that only when you're dead. Cause warriors are the live cats, I guess.

LIZ: Okay, I thought this was gonna be like the weird thing where it's like, humans get heaven, and then like animals get like a lower heaven or something.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Do Christians do that? I wouldn't know.

PAZ: I don't know, maybe it is. Do you wanna read the next one, Liz?

LIZ: Oh, okay. I need to recover myself after Demonsythe. "Four, words that tend to be seen as disrespectful in their literal sense are not to be used. Cats are literal in their naming and do not use hidden messages. This means--"

JULIAN: You just said that Goldenflower was a metaphor.

LIZ: "This means that names that include words such as hollow, any variation of the word fall, burning, searing, singed, shattered, twisted, broken."

PAZ: Broken?!

LIZ: Hey. Listen.

PAZ: Hello?

LIZ: Hey, wait. Debate me! I've got some good-- I've got the wiki open, Peyton.

PAZ: You need to revisit the text, Peyton. You need to read-- you need to pick up one of these books and read it.

LIZ: Okay, "or any word related to the aforementioned is not acceptable, especially in a name that is given at birth."

PAZ: Guess what?

LIZ: "Certain words such as torn, broken, or otherwise are acceptable as renames but most are not. Examples of unacceptable names in either situation: Brokenheart, Twistedface--"

PAZ: That's just what Crooked--

LIZ: "Hollowsoul, Searingkit," and then just Fallenbird.

PAZ: Oh my god. This is killing me.

LIZ: Okay. "Examples of acceptable names for a rename. Cats that get renamed must have been in a life threatening situations." I've read that wrong. "Cats that get renames must have been in life-threatening situations, otherwise the names become meaningless. Every cat tears a claw every now and then, so Tornclaw isn't an acceptable name change." Let him do it. Let Tornclaw do it. Fuck you. "Most cats that get renames are then sent to be an elder because any situation that would then require a name change hinders the cat from--" I think they get to be elders when they're old.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think fucking-- the WindClan, Deadfoot, would have some words for you, Peyton. Deadfoot would like to debate you in the marketplace of ideas.

LIZ: And then just like, One-eye, Brokenleg, Tornfur. Oh my god. And then there-- Peyton addresses the Erins. Okay, "this also means that yes, Erins, Birchfall is not really a respectable name."

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: The name denotes a fallen birch, which for one does not represent the cat for anything, appearance, personality, event even that would have had something to do with the cat. It's a completely random and purposeless name of a very bad sign/event in a forest."

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: "You must consider the meaning of your name when applying such harsh disrespectful words. They are absolutely not tolerated."

JULIAN: What if I want my cat to have an angsty backstory? I'm also like, has Peyton been in the woods? Trees fall all the time.

LIZ: If a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it, will Peyton still debate them?

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: "Number five. Jewels and semi precious stones are not acceptable in names. Silver and gold are used because the terms for certain colorations and markings-- technical terms-- are actually silver and gold. However, there are no markings classified as jade, ruby, onyx, or otherwise. Secondly, the possibility of cats unearthing such rare jewels that aren't even found in the British Isles is an impossibility. Most stones must be mined for and are found under certain conditions unavailable to the cats." Isn't there a mine like on the map?

PAZ: There is. They go there for their spirit ceremony.

JULIAN: That's where the Moonpool is.

LIZ: I don't have an issue with Peyton's length. These are-- this is a lot of books. There's a lot of lore. I disagree fundamentally with what Peyton is laying down.

PAZ: Oh my god. Wow. "Number six."

LIZ: Excuse you. Wow.

PAZ: "Remember that cats are not sophisticated. If the kit is red at birth, they are not crimson, scarlet, or blood. They are red or ginger. Cats don't have dictionaries and thesauri." How old do you think Peyton is?

JULIAN: Oh God, either 25 or 14.

PAZ: Yeah, there's no in between.

JULIAN: No in between.

LIZ: Peyton, if you're 25, all of this is justified. Like all of what we're saying is justified. If you're 14, please forgive us. Keep doing you.

JULIAN: But maybe think about how other people might like to roleplay and how it might be different from how you like to do it.

LIZ: Peyton, if you're 14, we're just three clowns.

JULIAN: We're three clowns. And I was this clown. When I was a role player, like I did not set out a whole lore bible for how to name cats. But I was very like, very high minded about what I thought a proper name was.

PAZ: There's more. There's more though.

JULIAN: There is more. Who wants to do seven?

LIZ: Should I do seven?

PAZ: Sure.

JULIAN: Sure.

LIZ: Is it my turn? Did we-- sorry, just want to check. Did we read the unacceptable unsophisticated or sophisticated names?

PAZ: Oh no, I didn't.

LIZ: Just Burgundypelt. I like that a lot.

JULIAN: It's very good. I also am a big fan of Cobaltpaw.

LIZ: Yeah. Okay, "number seven. All Twoleg seasons are unknown to cats. Therefore, an Autumnspirit is not acceptable, nor is a Winterpelt. Seasons are referred to differently. This also works for things such as ocean, seas, comets, and other things not commonly referred to in the books. Examples of unacceptable names: Summerheart, Oceanbreeze, Comettail." Aw, that's a good name.

JULIAN: I think Comettail slaps.

PAZ: Yeah, I can picture it. That's a cat with a really bright red tail.

LIZ: Yeah, it can be like-- that feels like a prophecy cat.

JULIAN: "Number eight, animals found outside of the British Isles are not to be referred to. It's hard to keep track of all the animals that don't live in Britain."

PAZ: Is it?

LIZ: I mean, okay, comparatively, animals that live in Britain versus animals that don't.

PAZ: That's true.

LIZ: One of those numbers is bigger than the other. Yes.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: Yeah, no.

LIZ: I do agree.

JULIAN: It is hard to keep track of all the animals that don't live in Britain. "But if you don't know for sure whether or not they can be found on the island, Wikipedia it. That is the simplest answer, and you won't look like a fool. Here are some common animals that usually get placed in names that are not native or found on Britain: coyote, cardinal, and bear. This also goes for plant species such as the orchid, olive, and ebony tree. Please do your research on a species before placing it in a name."

PAZ: Last, we've finally reached the end of this chapter. "Nine, everyone knows that Twoleg objects are not acceptable names. That's obvious. However, that sometimes doesn't seem to apply or rather, it gets overlooked. Many words don't even seem to have human origins of connotations, but they do and are not acceptable. Many common words used in names, such as mask and dance, are human words to describe things in nature and are not natural occurrences. People will reference the mask of a raccoon or the dance of courting birds, but these words are not recognized by cats. This also goes for obvious materials, such as ink, sword, dagger, and various metals."

JULIAN: Does-- all words are human words.

PAZ: None of these cats know any words. Why does it--

LIZ: They know one word, and it's meow. Can I propose an exercise?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Can we make a completely unacceptable name?

PAZ: Yes, please.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: What's your completely unacceptable name? Let's take a minute.

PAZ: Okay. Well, let's look back up at the don'ts.

JULIAN: Oh, here's some questions at the bottom.

PAZ: Okay, we'll go anti to all these questions.

JULIAN: Yeah, well, it's just do I have an acceptable prefix, which I think we need to-- we got to go through our rules and find.

PAZ: Let's make the name first and then come back to these questions. Okay, so no celestial objects. No dreaming.

JULIAN: What about an asteroid? Because that's both a celestial object and like a rare or semi precious stone.

PAZ: That's pretty good. Is there a prettier name, like asteroid term?

JULIAN: Meteor?

LIZ: Space debris.

PAZ: You know what, what if we take the name of a planet or moon. That'll also cover the no spiritual--

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: --references. Let's look at some of these Jupiter moons.

JULIAN: I'm a fan of Titan.

PAZ: Oh, that could be a real big cat.

JULIAN: Big boy.

LIZ: Titan... fall.

[laughter]

PAZ: We can't do that. We'll get sued.

LIZ: Just bleep it out.

JULIAN: Titansoul.

LIZ: Is that a thing? That also feels like a thing.

PAZ: It feels like it should be a thing.

LIZ: Yes, it is a thing.

JULIAN: Fuck.

LIZ: Fuck.

PAZ: This is hard.

LIZ: It's a video game.

PAZ: Naming warriors is hard.

JULIAN: Titan...summer.

LIZ: Hot titan summer. Titan... bone.

JULIAN: Megatitanboneclan.

LIZ: Titan... dream.

PAZ: What if we do like Hades or something for the goth factor?

JULIAN: Ooh yeah.

LIZ: Hades... fur.

JULIAN: Hadesdream.

PAZ: Hadesdream?

LIZ: That's his wife before she divorced him.

JULIAN: I feel like the second part of the name is harder to like--

PAZ: Yeah, it's harder to go against.

LIZ: What if we do some word mashing? What if it's Hadesclipse.

PAZ: Oh shit.

JULIAN: [to the tune of Loona's "Eclipse"] Hadesclipes. Da na na na.

PAZ: Hadesclipse.

JULIAN: I like Hadesclipse. It breaks many rules.

PAZ: I'm really a fan of it.

JULIAN: How does it represent our cat?

PAZ: Um, they're evil.

JULIAN: Okay.

PAZ: They're evil and they live in darkness, hence the eclipse.

JULIAN: Gotcha.

LIZ: They're evil--

JULIAN: I think they have big teeth.

LIZ: But it also sounds like they started like a local competitor to Great Clips.

JULIAN: Well, that's what they have the big teeth for is to give the other cats hair cuts so they can-- they have to give all the other cats emo bangs!

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Oh, I love that. Hadesclipse, born during an eclipse. Very dark and evil, but gives you the crispest bangs you'll ever see. The swoop? Unimaginable.

PAZ: Did we go through the questions? Should we do that?

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: "Do I have an acceptable prefix?"

JULIAN: Nope.

LIZ: Absolutely.

PAZ: "Does it make sense to be the name given at birth?"

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: Yes. Because Hadesclipse's mom was a goth named Boneocean.

PAZ: Oh shit. "How does it represent my cat?"

JULIAN: Well, he's evil.

PAZ: Yeah. "Can I match it with a suffix?" Yeah. Blends perfectly.

LIZ: Rolls right off the tongue.

PAZ: "How should my suffix represent him or her?"

JULIAN: Well, his work as an amateur barber.

PAZ: "Is it best to encourage their appearance or personality?"

LIZ: Ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay, so Hadesclipse can be one of those like torties with like the half like black face and half brown.

PAZ: Oh, fuck yeah.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: Wait, wait, wait. Is he a tortie tom?

JULIAN: He's a tortie tom. He's a tortie tom and he has purple eyes!

PAZ: Fuck yes. "Have I successfully described my cat?"

LIZ: 100%.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Yes. Beautiful. Perfect. New leader of Megaboneclan.

LIZ: Everyone's gonna look so good.

JULIAN: They're gonna be so stylish.

PAZ: He invents hair dye with red berries so he can give them those frosted tips.

JULIAN: He can probably dye cats black, too.

PAZ: Oh, yeah.

JULIAN: With walnuts. For that real goth look.

LIZ: His first customer is Walnutfur. This was really easy.

JULIAN: Yeah, this is really good.

PAZ: I'm so glad that Peyton made a guide for us on how to make the best names ever by telling us what we shouldn't do so we can do it. Thank you, Peyton.

LIZ: I was very antagonistic before, but like nothing but with respect for the thoroughness of this. I couldn't fuckin do this.

JULIAN: Yeah, this is a work of like--

PAZ: It's long.

JULIAN: A lot of effort went into this.

PAZ: Yeah. You know, people are very passionate about warrior names. As we know from Susanclaws of days past. Well, I think that might do it for us today.

JULIAN: Oh yeah.

PAZ: We've learned a lot. And Hadesclipse rules. So next week we will be reading probably chapter seven through 10. I'm gonna see how long it is. It might end up being chapter seven through nine. It'll be a surprise. Other than that, you can find the show @staircast on twitter.com. You can email us with questions or anecdotes, [email protected]. And do we want to announce the thing?

JULIAN: We joke a lot on the podcast about doing a Patreon. But we're actually going to do a Patreon.

PAZ: Surprise.

LIZ: Hey!

JULIAN: There's like a ton of stuff that we want to get into and it would be-- a Patreon lets us sort of like have that separate stream.

PAZ: Yeah. Like maybe we do want to read about Pinestar being told to kill his child. And the Patreon would be--

JULIAN: We so badly want to read about that.

PAZ: The Patreon would be a great place for that. I mean, there's also a lot of other Warriors fan content. Like there's a Roblox game I would love to play. Um, stuff like that.

JULIAN: There's an official tabletop game.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: And we have to play that.

PAZ: Yes indeed. You love Hadesclipse? Wait till we play that game. Yeah, so I think the Patreon will be a place for reading the special books, maybe the manga. There's also novellas out there, maybe doing more specific deep dives on certain things. So if any of that sounds interesting to you guys, you can go to patreon.com/staircast, where we'll be doing bi-monthly bonus content episodes. Does anyone else wanna add something?

LIZ: I think that's it.

JULIAN: Yeah. I'm very excited to get to dig more into some stuff.

PAZ: Yeah. And any support would be great. We love you. And thank you to everyone who has been listening to this podcast. It's been really fun to do and I'm glad other people are enjoying it. Yeah, that's the update for now. We will catch--

JULIAN: Oh, there's some very ominous thunder in the background, sorry.

PAZ: It's Hadesclipse.

JULIAN: Hadesclipse is here to fuck us up.

PAZ: Yeah, he has thunder powers too. We didn't mention that, but just, you know. Anyway, that'll be it for us this week. We will be back next week with more Forest of Secrets. Everyone have a great week. And until next time, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music]

JULIAN: Oh, it's International Asteroid Day.

PAZ: It is.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: For Hadesclipse.

LIZ: Hades...clipse.

#ep 18 #transcript #forest of secrets ep #purrlock holmes

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