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lunapaper · 1 year

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Album Review: 'Endless Summer Vacation' - Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus has gone through so many evolutions at this point that she’s practically a Pokemon.

We’ve had neon-soaked Bangerz Miley trying to twerk her way out of Disney hell, psychedelic Miley and her Dead Petz, country pop sweetheart Miley on Younger Now, classic rock Miley on Plastic Hearts… She doesn’t give us the best of both worlds; she gives us all the fuckin’ worlds!

So, I guess Endless Summer Vacation is Miley’s Solar Power? Not quite. This record doesn’t take itself anywhere near as seriously, but it’s not nearly as interesting, either.

Like most Miley albums, Endless Summer Vacation is a mishmash of sounds and ideas. Some of it works, most of it doesn’t. If anything, Cyrus spends most of her time cribbing from other artists.

Tracks like ‘Rose-Coloured Glasses’ and ‘Thousand Miles’ (not that one) recall the earthy 00s-style folk rock of Maggie Rogers, which is no coincidence since both tracks were produced by Kid Harpoon, who also produced Rogers’ latest record. ‘River’ capitalises on the bubbly disco pop already perfected by the likes of Cyrus’ one-time collaborator Dua Lipa. ‘Violet Chemistry’ is just something Taylor Swift already made a better version of on Midnights. Despite having a rather powerful team of writers and producers behind it (including James Blake), it’s nothing more than a bunch of chintzy synths on a loop.

So many people have called this their favourite track on Endless Summer Vacation, but I just don’t hear it. Why? Are the pickings really that slim here?

Well, kinda. So what does work?

‘Jaded’ is a swirling Tame Impala rip-off but at least it’s a good one, infused with some early 00s power ballad energy. ‘Handstand’ (co-written with Spring Breakers director Harmony Korine, of all people) is big, fat and glitchy with a bright neon glow, with Cyrus tapping back into her weirdo pop instincts as she recites some swampy beat poetry (‘In the sky, we could see the riders on the horseback/On comets, coming toward us, kicking up with laughter/My friend Big Twitchy rode the boat into the light/Surfed to the north break/We danced until there was nothing left/Just me and Twitchy/'Cause that's all we knew’). ‘You’ is a jazzy, sweeping, aching ballad dedicated to Cyrus’ boyfriend, producer Maxx Morando.

‘Muddy Feet,’ meanwhile, interpolates both Ella Washington’s 1969 track ‘Starving for Love’ and Christina Aguilera’s ‘Genie in a Bottle,’ and it works. It’s Miley at her best: Bold, raspy and ready to cut a bitch as she leans into the more bluesy tones in her voice. It’s enough to make Sia’s backing vocals feel like an afterthought.

And then there’s ‘Flowers,’ a sassy response to Bruno Mars’ ‘If I Was Your Man’ with a nice, breezy groove tailor-made for ice cold daydreams and sunny kiss-offs to your ex. There’s also a hint of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Dreams’ in there, so Cyrus hasn’t totally shaken off the classic rock aesthetic of Plastic Hearts. It’s grown on me with subsequent listens, but it’s still sort of wild that this song, so glossy and unassuming on the surface, has managed to score a massive 96m streams on Spotify.

But by the time we reach the final trifecta of tracks - ‘Wildcard,’ the balmy ‘Island’ and the schmaltzy ‘Wonder Woman’ – the momentum wanes, and you begin to forget the powerful high that ‘Muddy Feet’ left you with in the first place. The ‘Flowers’ demo that bookends the record isn’t really anything more than filler tacked on to milk the track’s success, though the more stripped-backed feel does give it a bit of a smoky flavour.

While looking at Stereogum’s coverage of Endless Summer Vacation, I saw an interesting theory posted in the comments section by a delightful chap/chappette going by the name of Econoline Van Fleet. ‘Not only is it obviously dog shit,’ they wrote, ‘but Cyrus is savvy and talented enough to know that it’s obviously dog shit. I suppose one could make the argument that her awareness of this fact is some kind of subversive performance art (“She knows that we know she knows!”), but that rationalization is itself a huge pile of steaming dog shit. This is the soundtrack of an artistically bankrupt empire in decline. The barrage of dog shit is every bit as predictable and boring as the decline itself.’

It’s not a bad theory, but is Miley really that self-aware?

As an artist, Cyrus seemingly suffers from a sort of identity crisis, always doing a hard reset on each subsequent era. The same also applies to Endless Summer Vacation: There’s no common thread between these songs, the tracklisting almost an afterthought. There’s a couple of empowerment anthems sprinkled here, a power ballad there, the weirdo pop track somewhere in the middle...

And despite the title, there’s not much to suggest that these songs are bright and summery in any way beyond 'Flowers,’ ‘Handstand’ and maybe ‘Violet Chemistry.’

Lyrical cliches are also rampant. Whether she’s pouring her heart out or sticking it to an ex-lover, Cyrus’ feelings are often vague and surface-level at best, leaving it to the tabloids and Genius cliff notes to fill in the rest. And it has an awful lot of writers behind it, too: ‘Muddy Feet’ alone has a whopping 11 while ‘Island’ - probably the most boring track on the entire album – has seven.

Endless Summer Vacation feels more like Cyrus making a cynical play for streaming numbers while still trying to atone for her more controversial eras. It’s all so painfully ‘safe’; I can't believe people actually like this. Y’all were just praising her for ripping off Stevie Nicks a couple of years ago...

Now 30 and newly divorced, it’s natural that the singer would display a little more growth, but blandness shouldn’t be mistaken for maturity. It’s a problem that’s plagued many a female artist before her: Being forced to file back the edges and tone things down in order to be taken ‘seriously,’ as if fun and lust and passion have a use-by date.

Cyrus' sharp shift into adult contemporary resembles that of P!nk in certain respects: A talented singer once known for rocking out now churning out bland, radio-friendly dance pop. I'm not much older than Miley, but even I’ve got no patience for this crap.

Endless Summer Vacation isn’t the long, breezy getaway most were probably hoping for. Rather, it lands right in the middle of the road, just idling there until Miley decides on what sharp turn she’s gonna make next...

- Bianca B.

#music #miley cyrus #endless summer afternoon #new #reviews #albums #Bianca B

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charliejrogers · 3 years

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Klaus (2019) Review & Analysis

I remember recently discussing with my fiancée how, though there have undoubtedly been a number of Christmas movies released in the last twenty years, none have really risen to the level of a “classic” – something you would want to watch every year as part of a tradition. It’s true I have not seen it, but still something tells me that 2008’s Reese Witherspoon vehicle Four Christmases is not on anyone’s annual watchlist… nor 2017’s Mel Gibson-infested Daddy’s Home 2. We concluded that the last “classic” was 2003’s Elf. And, while Christmas movies don’t have to mention Jesus or religion obviously, please don’t try to tell me that Frozen is a Christmas movie… it’s not! In some ways, given how secular things are, I began to wonder if there even was a market for holiday family fun movies, but of course, I’m an idiot because you can just make a whole movie about Santa Claus. Move over, Jesus, we gotta talk about the reason for the season!

Klaus released last holiday season on Netflix and at least in Chicago I saw billboards for it everywhere. Netflix went all in on promoting this as the next big Christmas movie and had some moderate success; they even grabbed an Oscar nom for best animated picture. Unlike most animated films these days, Klaus was made by neither DreamWorks nor Disney, and it shows. It lacks the refined polish of a Disney/Pixar feature, but also has a heart unlike a DreamWorks picture. The animation style can be best described as a hybrid of 2D and 3D (yet not quite 2.5D). At times the character models look like classic hand-drawn 2D models set within a mostly computer-generated 3D environment. But at other times, they look more 3D. It’s confusing to describe, and inconsistent to watch. It often felt like I was watching a compromise between a studio that wanted a distinct animation style but didn’t have the budget to fully realize it. Still, more often the not it’s a pretty movie.

More than the raw visuals, the movie has a fantastic sense of atmosphere… perhaps even too much at the beginning. Klaus is, in one sense, the story about how a lonely woodsman becomes the legendary Santa Claus, but for such a jolly premise, much of the film is shrouded in shadows and dominated by an oppressive, cold, snowy bleakness. In retrospect, this makes sense as the true triumph of Santa and “Christmas spirit” can only be best appreciated when it brings light to the darkest of places and times. Still, upon first viewing, I was quite surprised and shocked by the dark atmosphere and downright violent imagery on display at the beginning of the film, so much so that I was wondering if this really was a Christmas movie!

The darkness stems from the fact that our woodsman Klaus lives deep within the forest on a far north island, far far from the closest village which is a town called Smeerensberg and is famous for its never ending feuding and wickedness. It’s a genuine Nineveh of the North so it seems. The town’s feud centers around two rivalling clans (the film’s equivalent of the Hatfields & McCoys) and every villager belongs to one clan or the other. The two families’ feuds go back longer than anyone can remember (cave paintings exist that depict their feud), implying an original sin of sorts with the town being more born from hatred than spawning it. Hatred is so foundational that it infects every part of society. Unwilling to allow children to interact with the rival clans in classrooms, children just don’t go to school. Instead, they roam the streets playing pranks on old people and stabbing snowmen with carrots.

For the most part, Klaus lives his life separate from and unbothered by these unruly residents of Smeerensberg. What breaks his solitude is the arrival of a new post officer to Smeerensberg. More than a trivial side character, this post officer, Jesper Johansson, is surprisingly the main character of this movie all about the origins of Santa Claus.

Much like the residents of Smeerensberg, we the audience come to the film with a primary misunderstanding, much of what makes Santa famous today (the home invasion via chimney, the responding to letters, the reindeer-pulled sleigh) were the creative inventions of a spoiler-brat-turned-postman. So despite this movie being about the origins of Santa Claus, being a Christmas movie, you should have guessed that this will be some variant on Dickens’ classic tale. Jesper isn’t a classic Scrooge in that he doesn’t abhor Christmas, but he is self-absorbed, materialistic, and all-around not a great guy. He’s the spoiled son of a successful postal worker who controls a postal empire that looks more like an army. (The true fantasy of this movie has nothing do with sleigh bells and stocking stuffers… it’s the idea that the post office is a well-organized, well-respected, successful enterprise.) Anyways, recognizing his own son’s worthlessness, Jesper’s father decides to whip him into shape, ship him off to the God-forsaken land of Smeerensberg with an ultimatum: Jesper must process 6,000 letters from the town of Smeerensberg in a year or else be cut off from his father’s wealth. The problem? With how ugly the feud is in Smeerensberg, no one needs to write a letter to express their feelings when a cold snowball to the face (or worse) will get the point across quite clearly.

So now with the spoiled postal heir longing for silk sheets as he tries to survive out in the cold boonies, the movie gets a hint of the Emperor’s New Groove flavor… sans llama. It is only by sheer “chance” (we’ll get to that) that when Jesper visits the woodsman in a last ditch effort to find one person on the island who wants to send a letter, a piece of paper falls out of Jesper’s bag as he flees in horror of the woodsman (we’ll get to that). This piece of paper contains a drawing that a little boy made of himself locked in a high tower looking sad. In a very humorous scene, we had seen Jesper accidentally stumble across this drawing and then unsuccessfully try to scam the boy into giving him money so that Jesper could “mail” it back to him, rather than just give it back. Regardless, recognizing the little boy’s suffering, the woodsman decides to do something about it and enlists Jesper’s help. Luckily for the children of Smeerensberg, the woodsman has a barn full of toys. Yes, “a barn full of toys” is as creepy as that sounds and the films uses that creepiness to full effect when Jesper first meets the woodsman. The large, imposing, hooded, axe-bearing woodsman is far from the jolly fellow we know he is destined to become. He’s downright scary and given how violent the town of Smeerensberg is (Jesper almost dies when he first arrives because he’s tricked into ringing the war bell which sends the whole town into violent frenzy), we and Jesper are not wrong to assume the woodsman holds only ill-intentions. Essentially, the first meeting with the woodsman is supposed to be something akin to the reveal of the Beast in 1991’s Beauty & the Beast, a film so scary it sent my then two-year-old sister running out of theater in tears. Ultimately, I can’t speak for the mind of a child, but the tension for me here is certainly lessened by the fact that… well… we know the woodsman is Santa Claus. So even though Jesper is scared shitless and flees after meeting the woodsman, we know that there will be more to their story.

Still, even if not necessarily scary, the film does successfully shroud the woodsman in mystery, and his backstory is slowly and beautifully revealed throughout the film. I won’t spoil it here, but the script does a fantastic job of contextualizing the woodman’s stoic and aloof nature and explaining why that barn is so full of toys. The explanations come naturally and speak to a real human pain that I was not expecting from this film. In terms of emotion, the woodsman’s backstory almost reaches the opening montage to Up. ALMOST, I said, so put down the pitchforks!

So Jesper and the woodsman team up to deliver a present to that first child from the drawing. Or more accurately, the woodsman throws Jesper down a chimney to deliver a present while the woodsman looks on. The ensuing scene when the boy opens his present brought tears to my eyes. The woodsman (and we with him) watching the pure joy of a child receiving a present is truly nostalgic in its most literal sense. It hurts to see such joy, remembering that at one time you too could feel such joy from a hunk of plastic, and knowing you will never feel that way again. It’s a joy that few films outside of A Christmas Story with its the red rider BB gun really nail. Anyways, the little boy sees the woodsman through the window and finds his original drawing of himself locked in the tower which the woodsman leaves behind by accident. He surmises that the postman had devliered his drawing to the woodsman, and the woodsman responded with a present.

After that… well the rumor spreads wildly of the mysterious woodsman who comes down chimneys at night to give presents to children in response to letters. Now, the once dormant post office becomes a bustling hub of activity as children from all over flock to send letters to this Mr. Klaus. Kids even beg to go to school so that they can learn to write in order to get presents (much to the dismay of the disilliusioned teacher who long ago gave up on her dreams of teaching in a town where no child goes to school and had turned to being a fishmonger in order to pay the bills and one day afford to leave the town for good).

Gradually the children, who seemingly had no toys prior to Klaus and Jesper’s escapades, now joyously play together, regardless of which clan they belong to. Initially this upsets their parents greatly, but in the end it’s hard to really hate the parents of your children’s friends. The film promotes an age-appropriate and inspiring, if fanciful and naïve, notion that all the world’s problems would be solved if we all thought like children. As by spreading joy throughout the town, Jesper and Klaus inadvertently make the town a better place to live. It’s the theme of the film (not that they’re subtle about it): one act of good-will always begets another (or something like that). Still, all this doesn’t please the village elders, who abhor the change from the town’s hateful origins. They will ultimately serve as villains trying to put an end to all this gift-giving business.

Of course, there’s another villain of sorts, as well. Despite all the good he’s doing, Jesper is ultimately still motivated mostly by the notion of getting back to his old cushioned life. He is essentially using Klaus and preying on his kindness in order to launch himself back to a life of selfishness. It’s here the story feels most Dickensian, particularly in a scene where the school teacher (now love interest) acts functionally the same to the ghost of Christmas present and takes Jesper to the city center to see for himself the love and joy that he has helped bring to the world. But, still his desires to go home are strong, and, of course, he keeps them a secret. So between Jesper’s inner conflict about where he belongs in life and the external conflict of the community trying to fight back against a change in its culture, the film naturally comes to climax when the two conflicts meet and Jesper must confront both challenges at once.

What I’ve realized in writing this review … is that I am very impressed by the plot’s complexity and depth. The film weaves together at least three solid story arcs (Jesper’s coming-of-age/Scrooge-like-change-of-heart, Smeerenberg’s bubbling kindness revolution, and the woodsman’s aged hero who finds redemption and purpose after so many years alone). That all three feel fully supported and without any bloat is a testament to its absolutely solid writing, and for a kid’s film no less! Furthermore, the “origin” story genre can sometimes fall flat as it can just feel like the writers are writing more Wikipedia entries, explaining how every little aspect came to be more than just telling a good story. I call it the Han Solo trap. As for Klaus, the little tidbits about why Klaus uses reindeer and not horses, who the “elves” who work his workshop are, always clever and grow organically from the plot.

Plus, despite my opening doubts regarding whether the dark tone really fit a “Christmas” movie, the film very capably captures the joys of the Christmas season. Like Christians think about Jesus, Klaus/Jesper bring a world of light into a world of darkness. The film teaches about the importance of creating a loving community, of being selfless, and most importantly of respecting the spiritual aspect of the season. Even if this is a decidedly capitalistic/entrepreneurial movie, the film is not without a spiritual side. The previously mentioned “chance” of the woodsman seeing that initial drawing of the boy locked in the tower is no chance at all. Instead, throughout the film we see that the woodsman is “haunted” in a sense by a ghostly wind that points him in the path of righteousness. The film has its own explanation for what the force behind the wind is, but it is not too far of a stretch to point out the similarities between the wind and the Christian idea of the guiding Holy Spirit. Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the woodsman represents God the Father and Jesper God the Son, (or is Klaus more the Christ figure?) because I think this movie is decidedly not Christian, but more I just want to highlight that I enjoyed that the film allowed for the presence of spirituality, which moves this film from the realm of secular kindness to one that recognizes the power and presence of some spiritual goodness, aligning with how many think of the “Christmas spirit.”

Now, let’s be clear, this is a fun, family classic, but it’s not a perfect film. In fact, I downright disliked the first twenty to thirty minutes, for the aforementioned tonal reasons, but also because I really disliked Jason Schwartzmann’s voice acting in the lead role of Jesper. My dislike lessened with the introduction of the woodsman, but it never went away fully. I can’t help but think this movie would be better with a different actor voicing Jesper. Everyone else does an adequate job with the voice work. J.K. Simmons as Klaus takes on an almost Batman-like stoic gruffness, and Rashida Jones as the teacher and love interest is just fine. And, again, I never really fell in love with the art style and it sometimes distracted me, and I found the soundtrack, particularly the main song to be rather lame and too much “of its time” than the typically timeless, more Broadway productions that Disney/Pixar put out. Still, director Sergio Pablos has done something I did not think possible. He and his team created a *new* Christmas classic, one that I’m sure will be played on an annual basis in many households across the world.

***1/4 (Three and a fourth stars out of four)

#klaus #klaus 2019 #jason schwartzman #rashida jones #j.k. simmons #sergio pablos

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aforrestofstuff · 4 years

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Okay! I have a burning question for you, my dude. Music is my life, and I wanna know what kind of music the OPM casts listen to. Thanks, my guy!

I had a feeling this would be inevitable lol. I don’t really know a whole lot about music or genres or anything like that so I’m just gonna give you a rundown of each character individually and some song recs along with that just to smooth things out a little. Thanks for your ask, by the way! ❤️ Now my playlists will be put to good use.

A Brief Rundown of the Major OPM Characters’ Music Tastes:

Blast: hc that he doesn’t even have ears since he never fucking LISTENS

Terrible Tornado: Stuff that makes her feel powerful. Loud vocals and good instrumentals. Also, she’s a little angsty since she’s saltier than the gotdamn Pacific almost all of the time. (Recs: Florence and the Machine - How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, Susanne Sundfør - Delirious, Florence and the Machine - What Kind of Man, Kali Uchis - Dead to Me, Let’s Eat Grandma - Falling Into Me)

Fubuki: some of that real classy shit. Slow songs that are nice to just have a cup of tea with. Nothing too meaty or fast-paced, she enjoys taking a moment to breathe every once and a while since life gets pretty hectic when you’re managing a gang of some 30 hooligans. (Recs: Wes - Midnight Low, any song from Lana Del Rey’s entire discography lol, Florence and the Machine - Grace, The Marìas - I Don’t Know You, Yellow House - Ain’t Gonna Call, Feng Suave - Toking, Dozing)

Silverfang: Stuff from his time. I hc that he was a bit of a party animal back in his prime so he’s gotta have those grooves. Disco to the extremo. Also, another hc: Garou absolutely hates his music. He would play it during training and Garou would contemplate homicide. (Recs: Frankie Valli - Grease, The Edgar Winter Group - Free Ride, KC and the Sunshine Band - I’m Your Boogie Man, Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride, The Main Ingredient - Everybody Plays the Fool, Andrea True Connection - More, More, More)

Bomb: save as Silverfang, although I hc that Bomb was a little more of a nerd growing up. Still, he never missed out on a good party. (Additional Recs: KC and the Sunshine Band - Get Down Tonight, The Trammps - Disco Inferno, Tierra - Together, Cornelius Bros and Sister Rose - Too Late to Turn Back Now)

Atomic Samurai: Old shit. Shit older than Silverfang. He’s really not that old, but his soul is fucking ancient and he’s got that classic “grrr music these days sucks” kind of shithead attitude. (Recs: Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle, Dion - Runaround Sue, The Carpenters - The End of the World, The Band - The Weight)

Child Emperor: Upbeat synth. Stuff to listen to while he’s working on his machines and whatnot. Probably has meaty beats to keep him in tune with what he’s doing, like working around a clock. Probably some groovy citypop in there too. (Recs: Taeko Ohnuki - 4:00 AM, Junko Ohashi - Telephone Number, Tatsuro Yamashita - Magic Ways, Hiroyuki Sawano - NEXUS, Superfly - Kakusei, Mariya Takeuchi - Plastic Love)

Metal Knight: Intrumentals that Disney villains listen to. Deep, dark shit that makes you feel sad. He probably feeds off of negative emotion. What a toolbag. (Recs: Lucas King - Sociopath, Abel Korzeniowski- Table for Two, Max Richter - Never Goodbye, Max Richter - She Remembers, Evelyn Stein - Quiet Resource, Mac Quayle - Adagio in G Minor)

King: video game soundtracks, obviously. Might be some electro funk in there too, as a treat. (Recs: Metal Gear Solid 3 OST - Snake Eater, Mick Gordon - Rip and Tear, Xenoblade Chronicles OST - Main Theme, Persona 5 OST - Last Surprise, Daft Punk - Verdis Quo, Toby Fox - Hopes and Dreams, Disasterpeace - Prologue, iamthekidyouknowwhatimean - Run, Darren Korb - Old Friends)

Zombieman: Dad Music. Old rock that makes you wanna rail some lines of white thunder and dance on top of a car. He’d be reluctant to try out new stuff but does so nevertheless. Just a little bit of weird alternative here and there. (Recs: Poison - Unskinny Bop, Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood, Black Sabbath - War Pigs, Def Leppard - Animal, CRX - Walls, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Pink Floyd - Money, Queens of the Stone Age - Villains of Circumstance)

Drive Knight: Dark synth, obviously. Need I say more? (Recs: El Tigr3 - She Swallowed Burning Coals, Trevor Something - Enjoy the Silence, Greg Drombrowski - Devour, GUNSHIP - Woken Furies, GUNSHIP - Thrasher, Carpenter Brut - Invasion A.D., Kavinsky - Nightcall)

Pig God: this guy probably just listens to ASMR of people eating food lol.

Superalloy Darkshine: Upbeat stuff that’s good for exercise; loving those new jams along with some of the old. He’s got a pretty groovy style. (Diane Ross - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, Saint Motel - Puzzle Pieces, CRUISR - All Over, Barry White - Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up, Sade - Kiss of Life)

Watchdog Man: 10 hour loop of wolves howling on a summer night.

Flashy Flash: classical. Some nice instrumentals to listen to while training. Stuff that preferably doesn’t have any or very little lyrics so it’s not too busy on his ears while he’s fantasizing about killing someone. (Recs: Vaughn Williams - The Lark Ascending, Debussy - Rêverie, Grieg - Peace of the Woods, André Laplante - Une Barque sur L’Ocean)

Metal Bat: Modern alternative. A little bit harder than say, Mumen and Kama, but not as hard as Zombieman or Death Gatling. He’s that middle ground where he’s still got some real bangers, but Zenko can listen as well. He’ll play this stuff loudly as he’s doing chores and working out, no headphones ever. It gets pretty annoying. (Recs: Foals - Exits, The Blue Stones - Black Holes, Solid Ground, CRX - Broken Bones, Jungle - Happy Man, The Strokes - Reptilia, We Are Trees - Girlfriend)

Genos: synth. But not just any synth, some heavy, fast-paced synth that’s just like him: speedy, relentless, and powerful. He listens to shit that’ll make you wanna get up and start killing Terminators. Probably. There’s some other synths in the mix too because we love a three-dimensional king. (Recs: Carpenter Brut - Division Ruine, The Protomen - I Still Believe, Carpenter Brut - Leather Teeth, Gunship - Tech Noir, TWRP - Phantom Racer, Le Castle Vania - Red Circle)

Tanktop Master: Dad music but the type of dad music that makes you think your dad was a sappy nerd back in the day. Long tracks that are good for workouts. (Tears for Fears - Woman in Chains, Pink Floyd - Us and Them, Duran Duran - Ordinary World, Billy Idol - Eyes without a Face, A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran, The Alan Parsons Project - Eye in the Sky, Tears for Fears - Sowing the Seeds of Love)

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Pop. Dance music. He doesn’t really get to listen to a lot of music in prison, so he holds on to whatever he can and savors every second of it. (Coldplay - Talk, Bruno Mars - Runaway Baby, Lady Gaga - Bad Romance, Flo Milli - Beef Flomix, Doja Cat - Say So)

Mumen Rider: Hes a lighthearted, soft boy. Likes some fluffy indie tunes. It helps to motivate him when working out or doing hero stuff. He might need to cry every once in a while though, so there’s some sad songs in the mix too. (Recs: Varsity - The Dogs Only Listen to Him, The The - This is the Day, Amarante - Don’t Look Back, Alvvays - Saved by a Waif, The Monkees - As We Go Along, Acid Ghost - Hide my Face, Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice)

Sonic: same as Flash. He’s a little more hip with the times however, so he’s got some more groovy, electronic instrumentals to listen to in addition to some elegant stuff and isn’t opposed to having a little bit of lyrics sprinkled in there as well. In fact, he’s not opposed to uppity pop either. He thinks dancing is frivolous but he secretly does it when he thinks nobody is looking. (Additional Recs: Odesza - Bloom, Pretty Lights - One Day They’ll Know [Odesza Remix], BØRNS - Electric Love, Hembree - Culture, The Cinematic Orchestra - Arrival of the Birds)

Garou: same as Metal Bat. Bang let him have a little MP3 player during his time at the dojo and has since collected a few songs on there. They’re very near and dear to his heart since it’s one of the few good things that came from his absolute disaster of a childhood. (Additional Recs: Foals - Inhaler, CRX - Slow Down, Deep Sea Arcade - Close to Me, Gorillaz - Empire Ants, The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger, Glass Animals - Take A Slice)

Death Gatling: Shit your old Vietnam-vet grandpa would blast on the back of his F150. He gives me self-righteous asshole vibes, if I’m honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like Death Gatling, but he seems like the type of trailer park-dwelling sewer rat to carry a revolver into a Walmart for “self defense” and that’s probably the type of music he listens to, too. (Recs: Megadeth - Trust, Megadeth - Angry Again, Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son, Glen Campbell - Southern Nights, Mötley Crüe - Kickstart My Heart, Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noize)

One-Shotter: I hard hc that he had an emo phase he never quite grew out of. He doesn’t quite listen to emo anymore but he’s still into that alternative shit. Homeboy also likes some slow tunes every once and a while because he’s an emotional dude who’s not afraid of a good cry. (Recs: Anything from Blink-182, Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?, MGMT - When You Die, Mazzy Star - Fade Into You, Cigarettes After Sex - Dreaming of You, Yon Ort - Other Matter)

Lightning Max: Same as Genos but without the terminator-killing. Fast-paced stuff because he’s a fast lightning dude. A little more upbeat because he’s not as much as an edgelord as Genos, however. (Additional Recs: Carpenter Brut - Hang’em All, The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize, Worn Tin - Sensitivity, B.E.R. - The Night Begins to Shine, Martin Hall - Different Kind of Love)

Stinger: he’s all about that FUNK! Stuff that gets him moving! Stuff that makes him wanna dance! (Recs: Daft Punk - Doin’ it Right, TWRP - Body Image, Wild Cherry - Play that Funky Music, Chemise - She Can’t Love You, Saga - Wind Him Up, Saga - On the Loose, TWRP - All Night Forever)

Okamaitachi: they give me electro vibes! New, modern shit that’s good to dance to or to just sit down and have a listen! Also, some shit that’ll probably play in a coming-of-age teen movie or something. They don’t really vibe with heavy music and that’s alright, babey! Keeping it light and bouncy. (Recs: Tei Shi - Bassically, Varsity - Must Be Nice, Class Actress - Weekend, CHVRCHES - Richard Pryor, Alvvays - Marry Me, Archie, Sobs - Telltale Signs, Goth Babe - Sometimes, ALASKALASKA - Meateater)

Iaian: Nice, low tunes that are good for meditation and to be used for background noise during training sessions. He never really sits down to listen to music, it’s always in the background of something else he’s doing so he prefers to have some soft beats that don’t really interfere with his senses. Tunes so quiet, he sometimes uses them as lullabies; especially since the trauma of losing his arm has since made it hard to sleep. (Recs: Boy Scouts - Saddest Boy, Susanne Sundfør - Mantra, Vashiti Bunyan - If I Were the Same but Different, Starman Jr. - Blue Fairy, Patrick Watson - Je te Laisserai des Mots, Sibylle Baier - I Lost Something in the Hills)

Bushidrill: same as Atomic Samurai just without the shitty attitude. He’s happy to listen to some newer stuff, he just doesn’t like it and that’s okay, baby! Probably some classy shit your wise old grandpa would listen to. (Recs: Dean Martin - Volare, Dion - The Wanderer, Peppino Gagliardi - Che Vuole Questra Musica Stasera, anything from Luis Miguel lol, Franco Micalizzi - Sadness Theme)

Amai Mask: probably just listens to his own music like a putz. If not, he’s listening to the sound equivalent of glittering diamonds. He’s probably got this shit playing at the end of a long day while he’s chilling in a hot bath or something. (Recs: Fergie - Glamorous, Rita Ora - Hot Right Now, Lana Del Rey - Freak, Lana Del Rey - Art Deco, Tame Impala - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards)

Saitama: He doesn’t listen to music much anymore, sadly. He did, however, have a killer motivational mix to get him through his vigorous training prior to becoming a hero. (Recs: Paul Engemann - Push it to the Limit, Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’, College & Electric Youth - A Real Hero, Joe Esposito - You’re the Best Around, Survivor - Eye of the Tiger, The Bee Gees - Nights on Broadway)

Here’s the playlist with all of these songs in order (mostly):

It’s on YouTube because I’m allergic to Spotify. I’ve got a doctor’s note. Also, all of my other playlists are on my little profile thingy so if you want to listen to my pile then go right ahead.

Thanks for your ask, my dude! ❤️ this took up ALL of my energy lol but it was fun.

103 notes · View notes

theam-cjsw · 5 years

Text

February 25 podcast

A live gem from the late Jackie Shane, new tunes from Tim Hecker and Drugdealer, and the usual blend of kosmische, dream pop & psychedelia you’ve come to expect from the AM. Dreamy music to start your week off right. As always, stream it at cjsw.com, subscribe at iTunes, or look it up on your favourite podcasting app.

And here’s the track list, if you’re curious:

(Image is Stargazing by Tim Peacock)

Hour One:

That World Tim Hecker • Anoyo

Pets or Children Chris Otchy • Subterranean Landscapes

Heatherbrae Thomas Gray & Liam Ebbs • 3 Days, 2 Nights

Our Lady of Perpetual Motion Eine Kleine China • Online single

Oscura Primavera CAN • The Lost Tapes

Grand Canyon Piero Umiliani • Light in the Attic Sampler

Plastic Anniversary Matmos • Plastic Anniversary

Hidden Worlds Teen Daze • Bioluminescence

Your Mistake was a Hidden Intention Stegosarahs • Simple Subtraction

Long Walk TRBLMKR • Dragon

Hour Two:

Time Rider Chromatics • Time Rider single

Groove 139 Michael Rother • Solo box set

I Think I Won the War Applesauce Tears • Woolly

I Sink I Sink Living Hour • Softer Faces

Any Other Way (Live) Jackie Shane • Jackie Shane Live

Trackin' Down Ernie Hawks & the Soul Investigators • Cold Turkey Time

Fools Drugdealer • Raw Honey

No One's Sleeping Deerhunter • Why Hasn't Everything Already Disappeared?

Hour Three:

Big Plan Crystal Eyes, Marlaena Moore, featuring Marlaena Moore • Radical Softness

Vanilla (Here We Go Again) Anemone • Beat My Distance

Simple Jay Som • Adult Swim Singles

Sunset Canyon Foxwarren • Foxwarren

Keep the Blues Away Business of Dreams • Ripe for Anarchy

New Jacket Literature • Chorus

Illuminati Bop The High Dials • Foreverish

Franks Kaktus Dungen • Allas Sak

Light Years Devonian Gardens • Jamming the Trump Agenda: A Sonic Fundraiser for the ACLU & Sierra Club

Stereolab - French Disco [Early Version Mix] Stereolab • Online single

#dream pop #psych rock #kosmische #morning music #cjsw

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youbetterworkcovergirl · 5 years

Text

2019 Movies

Rent

Kevin Smith: Silent but Deadly

Angel

The Row

Kiki’s Delivery Service

Madea’s Witness Protection

Lessons From A School Shooting

22 July

Gehenna

Mischief Night

The Dorm That Dripped Blood

Don’t Go In The Woods Alone

My Neighbor Totoro

Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl-O-Rama

Never Sleep Again

The House With A Clock In Its Walls

The Cured

The House That Screamed

The Predator

Hell Fest

Bowfinger

A Simple Favor

Frightmare

Hardware

Buried Alive

Drive In Massacre

The Pit and The Pendulum

Goosebumps 2

Bullet Head

Throughbreds

Pumpkin Pie Wars

What’s Love Got To Do With It

Dr. Giggles

Bad Times At the El Royale

The Mighty Ducks

D2: The Mighty Ducks

D3: The Mighty Ducks

Awake to Danger

The Hate U Give

The Seven Five

Conversations With A Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes

Assassination Nation

Clockwatchers

Old Enough

Suspiria (2018)

Critters

Harvest Moon

Higher Learning

Kings

The Lure

He’s Out There

When Friendship Kills

All I Wanna Do

Strange Voices

Soaked In Bleach

October Kiss

Rent: Filmed Live On Broadway

Wishmaster

The Possession of Hannah Grace

The Clovehitch Killer

Wishmaster 2

Waiting to Exhale

Killer High

The Farm

Pledge

The Wood

Poetic Justice

Parkland: Inside Building 12

Bohemian Rhapsody

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Indian Summer

White Men Can’t Jump

Do The Right Thing

Happy Death Day 2 U

Home For The Holidays

UFO

I’m Still Here

Wallenberg

49 Pulses

A Murder In the Park

Diner

Pet Sematary

Pet Sematary 2

Seems Like Old Times

Taken in Broad Daylight

Murder on a Sunday Morning

The Amityville Murders

Judgement Day: The John List Story

Used Cars

Two If By Sea

Revenge

Monsterville

Missing

Office Killer

Twin Towers

Midnight Special

Sierra Burgess is a Loser

Haunting on Fraternity Row

Castle Freak

Hidden

Red Clover

Air

Self/less

Colonia

Inoperable

Hallow’s Eve

Lord of Illusions

H.H. Holmes: Original Evil

Instant Family

Starman

Everybody Wants Some

After Auschwitz

Crocodile

Victor Crowley

Always

You Might Be The Killer

Jonestown: Massacre in the Jungle

The Act

Mister Rogers It’s You I Like

Swimming in Auschwitz

Ingenious

Bright Lights, Big City

The Dirt

Operation Finale

Hell House LLC 2

Extinction

The Night Eats the World

Green Book

Freddie Mercury: The Greatest Showman

Captive State

Encino Man

Aquaman

The Three Musketeers

The Highway Men

What We Do In The Shadows

Howling III

A Dog Year

Like Father Like Son

Tune In

They Live

Selena

Curly Sue

The Miami Showband Massacre

Follow That Bird

Lifeforce

Pet Semetary (2019)

Coherence

Devil In The Flesh

The Haunting of Sharon Tate

Hobgoblins

To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story

Last Girl Standing

Blood Was Everywhere

Compliance

Cat People

Helter Skelter

Dead Body

The Stranger Beside Me

Blood Rage

A Dog’s Way Home

Crazy Eights

The Nest

Haunt

Capturing the Green River Killer

Bumblebee

8 Seconds

Society

Apartment 143

Horror Noire

Stepfather 2

The Hillside Stranglers

Heart of the Country

Opportunity Knocks

Guerrilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst

Good Fences

Conspiracy

Eddie

Fatal Beauty

Like Father Like Son

The Telephone

Listen To Me

Fresh Horses

The Girl Most Likely To

Bingo

The Perfect Catch

House Party

Every Day

The Family I Had

Scenes From A Mall

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile

Shuttle

Jennifer 8

The Chipmunk Adventure

Home Invasion

I Spit On Your Grave: Deja Vu

Avengers: Endgame

No Good Deed

The Exception

Train

The Hole In The Ground

The Perfect Guy

Man Up

Amen

The Rachels

The Vanishing of Sidney Hall

The Calling

Freedom Riders

Bad Dreams

Playing for Keeps

The Diary of Anne Frank

Thriller

Death House

Slumber Party Massacre II

Miracle on Interstate 880

The Long Island Railroad Massacre

Satan’s Little Helper

Voodoo

Charlie Says

November Criminals

Stripped to Kill

Soapdish

Gifted

Isn’t It Romantic

The Nanny Diaries

Before We Go

Into the Spiderverse

The Chesire Murders

Skyscraper

Strawberry Flavored Plastic

The Challenger Disaster

Rogue One

Solo

The Last Man On Earth

Hunger Games

Catching Fire

Mockingjay

Mockingjay Part 2

I Saw The Sign

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie

Senior Trip

The Club

The Convent

The Initiation

One Dark Night

The Last American Virgin

Donkey Punch

Child’s Play

Screamtime

The Public

Trick or Treats

The Best of Enemies

Lake Fear

Funland

Lilo and Stitch 2

Stitch: The Movie

Emperor's New Groove

Threads

Hotel Mumbai

Little

The Langoliers

Mary Poppins Returns

Scary Stories

Greta

Witchfinder General

Denial

Cronos

The Redeemer: Son of Satan

The Curse of La Llorona

When The Walls Talk

I Married A Witch

American Dream

Body Parts

Woodstock

A Dog’s Journey

Brightburn

Stagefright

Ready or Not

Don’t Go In To the Woods

Hell Night

Sharknado

Skeletons in the Closet

Stalking Laura

Every Woman’s Dream

Dear Mr. Gacy

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Let’s Scare Jessica To Death

Fantastic 4

The Losers

What’s Your Number

It: Chapter 2

I Saw What You Did

The Perfect Score

The Red Sea Diving Resort

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Cellular

Puncture

Aladdin

The Secret Life of Pets 2

Sunshine

13 Ghosts

Harvest Love

Hell House LLC. 3

Spider-Man: Far From Home

Dark Phoenix

The Iceman

Shiver

Nightmare Cinema

The Invitation

Monster Party

Snowpiercer

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Beneath

Haunt

Primeval

Shazam

London

Under The Autumn Moon

Killing Ground

Malicious

Eyes Without A Face

The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond

Toy Story 4

The Monster Project

Annabelle Comes Home

Not Another Teen Movie

Run, Hide, Die

Recovery

Fierce People

Bait

The Ranger

The Awakening

Critters Attack

Are You Afraid of the Dark

Crawl

Dead Night

Rogue

Silent House

3 From Hell

The Reef

The Incubus

The Midnight Hour

Repulsion

Booksmart

The Company of Wolves

Strange Invaders

Invaders From Mars

Murder on the Orient Express

Let It Snow

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

The Art of Racing In the Rain

Midsommar

The Intruder

Open Water 3

Black Water

The Night Before

While She Was Out

Knives Out

Rocky Mountain Christmas

Parenthood

Call Me Claus

Stranger in the Family

The Sweetest Christmas

Christmas Under Wraps

Goodnight Sugar Babe

Ghosts of Mississippi

Miss Christmas

Theodore Rex

Semper Fi

Hustlers

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Tomb Raider

Sahara

Tag

Game Night

Mary

6 Underground

Bah Humduck

The Campaign

Creed

TMNT

The Pledge

Don’t Let Go

The Lion King

Vertical Limit

U.S Marshals

Cum On Feel The Noise

Jumanji The Next Level

Charlie’s Angels

2 notes · View notes

hypnoticharlequin · 6 years

Note

Gooooonna need detailed outfit descriptions for many of these characters. Because reasons.

Sure! Pre-warning this is going to be slightly long! If you have any questions (or I’ve missed something or someone) feel free to ask!

Ulla

5′9″

Tanned Skin

Long Auburn Brown Hair to her shoulders.

Athletic build but not dramatically muscular. C Cup.

Very sharp cheek-bones give her a very stern looking face.

Brown eyes.

Civilian Attire:

Grey Trenchcoat that reaches her knees.

White blouse with an open collar (though she can sometimes be found in a railway blue blouse.) Light grey slacks, black leather flats.

Thick framed black glasses (in an attempt to disguise the shape of her face).

Hair put into a loose bun.

Her System is worn around her waist like a belt. It resembles the one worn by Kamen Rider Fourze, except the center is circular and has a large slot, resembling a ticket slot on the top. It is metallic and dark grey in color.

Express Knight

Ulla transforms by pushing an “Express Ticket’ into her belt. This ticket looks like a slightly faded train ticket, on light yellow paper.

In her basic form, Ulla is clad in a bright yellow armor, that covers her whole body and makes her look much bulkier. The armor is in a few bits, with bulkier sections on her joints.

The helmet resembles the front of a Bullet train, but in yellow. Around the top of her head, there is a line of rail track. It sort of resembles the ToQger armor.

On the back are two large vents, one on each shoulder. These vents are a dark silver and regularly emit steam. The direction of the jets and the slats on the vents move with Ulla to give her blows extra strength.

The boots have a large groove in the soles, these grooves perfectly fit over a rail, allowing Ulla to dash across them or move around using the rail system.

Ulla is often carrying a sword. It resembles an oversized broadsword with a dark yellow hilt. The blade is very chunky and has a rail embossed into it. The center of the hilt has another ticket slot.

Sharon

5′4″

Pale white skin

Black hair that she wears in a bob (thought this bob tends to be messy due to her getting helmet hair from the Mesmera costume).

Very average build.

Larger bust, around a D cup.

Slightly round in the face, and very soft cheeks.

Very well plucked and maintained eyebrows.

Dark Green eyes when her power isn’t active. A metallic swirling silver when it is.

Civilian

She often wears very bright t-shirts and blue Mom jeans along with very plain flats.

In more formal moments she wears floral summer dresses or a floral blouse matched with a bright skirt.

Mesmera

Her costume is made up of two parts, a cowl, and a body suit.

The bodysuit is spandex with thin kevlar plates over the chest and shoulder area.

The costume resembles an 80s Business suit with the details being molded onto the kevlar plates.

The base of the suit is black, with purple details.

The kevlar cowl resembles a Batman one, minus the horns. It leaves Mesmera’s eyes and mouth exposed. Around the eyes are small spirals engraved into the kevlar and then painted purple. This means that they are only visible in certain light.

The costume is finished with thigh-high black boots

Alicia

5′6″

Pale white skin.

Black hair that she has fashioned into an undercut.

Light Green eyes.

Fit build.

Civilian

Alicia wears a lot of metal band t-shirts and dark black jeans as well as very ratty sneakers.

In the gym, Alicia wears a light blue t-shirt and a pair of black running shorts.

Villain Work

A black body suit that resembles Mesmera’s just with more kevlar plating and none of the personal details.

A Batman-Esq cowl, minus the horns. It has no distinguishing details on it.

Mara

6′1″

Freckles

Long curly red hair to the middle of her back.

Very fit, with large muscles.

C cup.

Civilian

Often found in a long white lab coat that reaches down to her knees.

Under the coat, she wears a dark blue button-up shirt and dark pants.

Outside of the lab, Mara wears button-up shirts (usually black) along with dark jeans.

Ivanna

6′3″

Hispanic

Long straight black hair

Exceedingly muscled. Has a very obvious six-pack.

Civilian

Loose fitting t-shirts, often advertising old Lucha events, often with the sleeves ripped off.

Baggy workout shorts.

Black Trainers.

El Cóndor Vengador

Wears a Lucha mask that totally covers her head aside from her mouth and eyes. The mask has a bird design on it. The base of the mask is a crimson color and the bird is pearlescent so it sparkles when she moves.

She wears a bright red leotard that matches her mask

On her feet are black wrestling boots with very heavy looking soles.

Dragón Danzante

5′4″

Asian

Decently muscled but not as bulky as Ivanna

Always

Dragon is never seen without her mask. The mask is pretty similar to this. It is a metallic blue with grey details around the eyes and a scale-like pattern all over it.

The mask also has a long metallic blue tail running emanating from the back of the mask, almost like a ponytail. It reaches the small of her back.

She wears metallic blue pants and a metallic sports bra that both have a scale-like pattern on them.

Her outfit is finished with black wrestling boots.

Momo

5′5″

Pale skin

Blue eyes.

Blonde hair in pigtails.

Lab

Momo wears a pastel pink lab coat, that stops just before her waist.

She wears a pink tutu that only just covers her butt as well as a light pink t-shirt (often with a random slogan like “Be Cute!” or “Candy Girl” written on it)

She wears pink over-sized mary-janes on her feet

Wears a lot of makeup, including blusher to give her doll-like blush circles on her cheeks.

Pockets tend to be full of all sorts of candy and gum.

Hitomi

5′6″

Athletic, but not as muscular as her sister.

Tanned

Green eyes.

C-Cup

Red Hair that she wears in a long ponytail.

Civilian

Hitomi tends to wear very tattered jeans and tight, black t-shirts.

Over this, she wears an open leather racing jacket, in black, orange and dark grey.

She wears black motorcycle boots everywhere

Her system is worn around the waist like a belt. It resembles a black metallic engine block (think a little bit like the one worn by Kamen Rider Build in that it has a very “mechanical” design). On the top is a short gear stick that Hitomi pulls to transform.

Turbo Knight Hitomi

Her body is covered in bulky red armor. Between the joints, you can see hints of parts that resemble an engine.

The helmet resembles the front of a bus with the windshield acting as the visor and the headlights positioned above her eyes.

In many ways, she resembles a chunkier TurboRanger

Her boots have a tire pattern on the sole, there is also an obvious “door” in the soles. When Hitomi uses certain powers or goes for her finish, wheels come out of these doors, allowing her to travel extremely quickly.

CCC Hitomi (Hitomi Black)

The CCC System is almost the size of a screwdriver. It is a metallic red and one the one end is a large black button that is covered by a small plastic lid. On the other is a large dagger-like spike in metallic silver. (Sort of like the Hazard Trigger)

When using the CCC, the CCC System is embedded into the center of Hitomi’s System, effectively leaving a red stripe along the middle.

CCC Hitomi has black armor as opposed to the Red of the Turbo Knight.

On her helmet and shoulders, there are large black spikes that stick up into the air. The ones on the helmet start at the forehead and go out in a V shape.

While in CCC form, Hitomi’s visor has a red tinge to it. (It looks totally red from some angles)

Bestie Hitomi (In Momo’s lab)

While in Momo’s lab Hitomi is either in her normal civilian outfit (however these clothes are looking pretty dirty, due to Momo not bothering to wash them).

When she is wandering around mindlessly helping Momo, she tends to be in Momo’s clothes. A pink tutu that utterly fails at hiding her bright pink panties, as well as one of Momo’s t-shirts. Due to the shirt being way too small, it doesn’t cover her arms and leaves her midriff exposed.

Parasite

5′9″

Normal Human Form

Black hair in an overly perfect retro bob

Pale skin.

Very average build.

Very dark brown eyes

Tends to wear plain t-shirts and generic brown slacks and formal shoes.

Parasite Form

During her transformation, it is possible for Parasite to look like a normal human aside from one or two latex limbs.

Skin turns totally black and looks like shiny latex, making her body almost resemble a silhouette.

Her hair becomes longer, reaching her lower back. Each hair grows wider and thicker making them resemble tendrils.

Her eyes are black and look like they are imprinted into the latex, the mouth is the same, two latex lips that open to reveal a dark void.

Massacre Maid

5′4″

Black hair fashioned into twin tails that sit on the sides of her head

A Japanese-Style Maid’s Uniform it has a faded name tag stuck on it which says “Massacre” in red pen, complete with little blood drops coming off of it.

Leather combat boots on her feet.

Carries around a mop, that has a wooden handle and white fibers on the end. In Scythe form, the handle stays wooden, but a large metallic silver blade appears on the end, the blade is nearly as tall as Massacre Maid is.

Hype Girl

5′6″

Long blonde hair to her shoulders

Blue eyes.

Is always in a blue cheerleader’s uniform. The top is slightly short leaving her belly button exposed.

The uniform often has the word “Hype!” Written across the chest in an off-yellow. However, sometimes it is replaced with the “Red Right Hand” logo.

She wears white sneakers that are very worn down from all her jumping.

Carries two red foil pom-poms with her. If they are not on her hands they are attached to her skirt.

Specter

5′7″

Dark brown eyes.

African-American

Long black hair that goes just past her shoulders, that she obviously slicks back.

Wears a Phantom Of The Opera mask on one side of her face.

She also wears a man’s black suit, further emulating the Phantom. However, there are obvious bulges in the suit where she has added kevlar plates.

She wears a long black cape with a red velvet backing as well as chunky black boots.

Burst

5′8″

Green eyes

Messy red mohawk

“Bruiser” body type.

Wears a bright yellow latex costume that covers her whole body except her hands. The suit has flame designs around the neck, wrists, and ankles.

Her mask is a full hood, that leaves only her mohawk, mouth and eyes exposed. It is a gradient, going from yellow at the neck, to a fiery red near her hair.

Anna Stesia

5′5″

Blue eyes

Very fit.

Has her hair in a very neat black bob.

Dresses like a retro-nurse stereotype

However, her suit is made of latex and the inside of the jacket is lined with various needles and vials.

She wears flat black pumps, however even these have a needle concealed in the toe area.

Creme d’Argent

6′0″

Very slim, and not very muscled.

Blonde hair, worn in a bun.

Pre-”Designs On The Future”: A creme business suit, made up of creme jacket and slacks along with a white collared shirt. The whole ensemble clings to her body, making it look like she brought something a size too small. She wears black high-heeled pumps.

Post-”Designs On The Future”: Wears a black business suit, made up of black pants, a white shirt, and a black jacket. The jacket and pants feature subtle silver pinstripes. She wears black high-heeled pumps.

Lady Aria

6′1″

Short dirty blonde hair to her neck, complete with a long fringe

Extremely buff.

Dark blue eyes

Civilian

Wears a long gothic gown

She often has deep crimson opera gloves on. They look like they are made of velvet.

Extremely high, blood-red high heels.

The Crushing Countess

Same as her civilian attire, however, she wears two gigantic red gauntlets on her hands. Each Gauntlet is the size of a vending machine and seems to be made of a dark red steel.

The gauntlets have vents on them, that regularly emit blasts of steam.

Her shoes change to have a wider, spiked heel, allowing her to embed herself into the ground when she wants to put all of her strength into a punch.

Space Kitty

5′5″

Her skin seems very tanned, but it glitters oddly in the light.

Very slim

Yellow eyes.

Short spiky blue hair

Earth Civilian

Space Kitty wears various t-shirts, these often feature terrible cat puns (as she thinks they are about her) or are souvenir shirts from places Ulla, Gaim, and Aria took her.

Dark yellow jeans

Sneakers with a cat drawn onto the tongue with a marker pen.

Space Kitty

She looks a lot like Kamen Rider Nadeshiko. A silver suit of armor, that while metallic, moves like spandex.

On the helmet are two metallic silver cat ears.

On her gauntlets are sharp points resembling cat claws.

Around her wrist is her system. It resembles a small computer, about the size of a cell phone, but in a more rounded shape. The screen tends to flash data about the suit and her attacks, all in a strange alien language.

5 notes · View notes

realdeallanka · 3 years

Photo

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0 notes

flightfins · 3 years

Text

Onewheel Accessories

Since they're so inexpensive, you can likewise buy several colours and selectively include different pieces of the partner to make it really yours! Do not hesitate to examine our other One Wheel Articles Tire This section will also be mainly devoted towards the + and +XR owners as the Pint's tire is already quite rounded and carvy onewheel accessories.

I will state, the stock Vega is a terrific tire to start on, as it's extremely steady and grips the road really well onewheel accessories. Many non-technical users don't even believe in changing their tire as it's a very demanding and long procedure, however if you can get past that, it's well worth the effort. onewheel accessories.

The finest alternative here would either be the TFL x Burris 6' or the Hoosier Whisper 6', which both include a softer compound for the tire and produce a more rounded profile much better for turning. With this more rounded profile, both tires have a smaller contact patch when riding, which theoretically increases leading speed, torque and range.

The Definitive Guide for Onewheel Accessories

The other option for a brand-new tire would be a threaded version for much better grip on loose surfaces - onewheel accessories. I would just advise this to majority path riders, as these tires take a success on efficiency when it comes to the pavement riding experience. onewheel accessories. Both of the tires I previously mentioned have threaded equivalents, called the Hoosier T2 and the Burris Treaded, which are also the most popular choices in this market segment.

Flight fins The Flight Fins are one of the most special accessories to the Onewheel as it adds a kind of bindings just like a snowboard, to lock your feet in and permit you to leap and drop with the board onewheel accessories. At the same time though, this is the most dangerous device as it literally 'locks you' onto the board for better or for even worse.

In order to utilize this item you will need the Flight Fins Flight Deck, which is essentially a split fender with a guard covering the wheel well, with grooves on the exterior of the fender to link the Flight Fins. You can also purchase the set together which will conserve you some cash being available at just under $180 USD, where you can pick the colour of each piece. onewheel accessories.

The smart Trick of Onewheel Accessories That Nobody is Discussing

The most popular foot pad is the Kush Nug Hi/Low, which both originate from The Float Life and provide a softer material with severe concavity. onewheel accessories. Both retail for just over $100 USD with the Kush Nug Low being the cheaper of the two given that it utilizes less material than the Nug High.

The company also provides a normal sized pad that fits flush with the Onewheel's rails at a discount rate, similar to the Kush Nug Low onewheel accessories. For this accessory, I would not offer much concern to it as your comfort and foot fatigue will begin to get much better and better as you regularly ride. onewheel accessories.

Fangs The Fangs, and other items like it, are simply just wheels put in front of the nose to help you 'ride out' a nosedive. This product isn't extremely common in the neighborhood, but the people who have used it are substantial supporters for their included safety and assurance - onewheel accessories.

Getting The Onewheel Accessories To Work

In terms of actual usage, these will just be suitable on pavement as the little plastic wheels won't have any grip on loose terrain. The most typical circumstance for The Fang's is a high uphill climb where you're not taking notice of your weight distribution and the nose quickly smashes to the ground before you can respond.

I don't personally believe longboarding gloves are needed on a Onewheel, however some other alternatives in the market might be of interest to some of the novice riders. onewheel accessories. Triple Eights Hired Hands wrist guards are most likely the very best choice, as they don't cover your fingers and focus solely on wrist effect onewheel accessories.

Now yes, there is no doubt the Plates add another layer of defense to the bottom of your board, but I would argue most newbies and even intermediate riders do not necessarily need them. I would not make this argument if the Plates were around $25 USD, but they usually choose $59 USD, which for budget plan mindful buyers is extremely costly compared to the rates of other accessories on this list.

Some Of Onewheel Accessories

The majority of you understand the + and +XR both feature underside nose grips for bring, that makes this more of a secondary device that you could add later on if the nose handle isn't for you. onewheel accessories. The most apparent alternative would be to buy a Mag Handle from Future Movement, which would run you about $70 USD in total and is more stylistic than practical.

A more useful choice would be Craft & Rides Silver, which links to the side rail of your board and utilizes an elastic backpack-like handle with a rubber grip. This handle comes at around $40 USD and will last you a lot longer than Future Motion's Mag Deal with as it was specifically developed for the +XR onewheel accessories.

This works as the Onewheel is really heavy and can damage other products in the trunk or damage the automobile itself. If you have not seen a few of the scary stories of windows breaking and other things being harmed you can look it up for yourself in the subreddits. onewheel accessories. In terms of where to buy this product, I would recommend purchasing from Amazon for $18 onewheel accessories.

Not known Factual Statements About Onewheel Accessories

There is an argument to be made that if your trunks are small enough or if you have enough other things in it, that the Onewheel will not move enough during driving to justify purchasing the device. onewheel accessories. I would suggest trying to drive in your area with the Onewheel in your vehicle simply to evaluate just how much the board will move in your specific automobile prior to you going out and buying these onewheel accessories.

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plasticgroove · 8 months

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RotPG 10/06/2023

HUGEL, Francis Mercier – NaNa Djon (Extended Mix) Tony Romera, Crusy – Attracted (Extended Mix) Voices Of Valley – No Time (Soul Button Remix) Mau P, Breach – Jack From Amsterdam (BNM Bootleg) Sabb – Motherlove (Armonica Remix) Skatman – I Used To (Hiphop Rewarp) &ME – L.I.F.E (Original Mix) Engelbert, Luke van Veen – Leven (Whirl Remix) Hot Since 82 – Love Me (Extended Mix) Majestic,…

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#RidersOfThePlasticGroove #Breach - Jack From Amsterdam (BNM Boo #Chic Loren - I Feel Love (Monkey Safari Remix)#Crusy - Attracted (Extended Mix)#Dennis Simms #dj mix #dj_dennis #Francis Mercier - NaNa Djon (Extended Mix)#HUGEL #KUCI 88.9fm #PlasticGroove #Riders of the Plastic Groove #RotPG #Sabb - Motherlove (Armonica Remix)#Tony Romera

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industryrider · 3 years

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We at Industry Rider have all the possible types of pliers you need to perform the task. Select from our broad array of an online collection of nose pliers incorporating slip, long nose pliers, locking pliers, groove joint pliers, and assorted pliers set that let you do the complete task with one kit. Find the best pliers for your needs. A head slim design goes well with your requirement for working in restricted areas reduced handle wobble and plastic-dipped handles for whole day usage and simple tool identification. The nose pliers accessible at Industry Rider are properly designed and built to high-quality standards.

#Nose Pliers

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novikovaleksandrdye · 3 years

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How to Locate an Expert to Replace Zipper in Leather Jacket? (Precautions, Advise, What to Look For)

Check in the phone book to see if there is a shoe repair shop. Replacing a zipper in a leather jacket is identical to replacing the zip in a pair of tall boots and they have the machines to handle it. Also, luggage stores often have a connection to someone who does luggage repairs -- same thing, they have the heavy -duty machines that can handle that bulky leather, Some dry cleaners have tailors that will do it as well.

I would stick with a shoe repair shop if you can find one. I have always found they do the nicest leather repairs. Just thought of another source: motorcycle dealers often know people who sew custom leather clothing for riders -- they could do the repair as well.

· Related Questions

how can i find zippers by the yard?

It has been my experience that finding a zipper of undefined length is difficult, at best. This is because most zippers are installed in cloth to join say, the front of a pair of pants, or the front of a jacket, or the back of a dress.

Most zippers have either a specific starting piece, or a specific stopping piece, sewn in. Some zippers have both(like for a jacket zipper). While the end stop can be removed, and a suitable stop sewn in with needle and thread, the start for a zipper usually cannot be sewn in the same way.

They're manufactured as part of the zipper, and to get a zipper without one would mean if the zipping device ever becomes detached from the zipper, you're out of luck. Much better to find a zipper which is slightly longer than you need, and shorten it. If it's for pants, cut off the start.

If it's for a jacket, you can end the zipper short in two ways. One is by sewing the excess ends of the zipper into the collar of the jacket. The other is by cutting the zipper short, and sewing in your own stop with thread.

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Is there any way to fix my jacket's zipper? It has rippled and is all screwed up after washing it.

That sucks about your zipper.

I think you can fix it, though. First, if the fabric around it is all ripply, look for threads that are bunched up and either pull on them to straighten them out or cut them and sew over them again later. At the end of this, you should be able to lay the fabric flat.

Then, I'd spray the zipper with a lubricant, but make sure it's fabric safe. I'd recommend the one I work with, Jig-a-Loo (http://www.jigaloo.

com/us/e_store_locator.php) which doesn't stain fabric. This should allow the zipper to zip up smoothly.

I'd zip it up and iron over it a few times, then maybe put something heavy over the zipper for a few days to "retrain" it to be flat. You might have to fix some stiches, but hopefully, you can get it to work again. Good luck!

Lauren with Jig-a-loo

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Can a new zipper be sewn onto a heavy duty jacket?

nicely its not not incredibly ordinary yet you do choose a stitching gadget. Get a seam ripper and eliminate the zipper determine you get all of the little threads out.

turn the jacket interior out and baste the region the place the zipper grow to be (basting is a great non binding stitch). Lay the recent zipper precisely the place the previous zipper grow to be placed. Pin it on so it won't pass around.

make particular your thread is on the threshold of a similar shade which you initially had. Use the stitching gadget(save the zipper closed its much less complicated to deal with). start up on the left area, around the backside and up the remarkable area, lock stitch, eliminate the pins.

turn the jacket appropriate area out and eliminate the basting. you additionally can discuss with the dry cleaners they might put in a clean zipper it often would not value that plenty in case you supply the substitute zipper.

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how can I fix my jacket zipper?

Jackets typically have tooth zippers. This simply means that they have plastic teeth. A #5 is a normal, medium-sized zipper for a jacket.

If you are making your own jacket, you can purchase a zipper at any fabric or craft store. You can also replace the zipper on a store-bought jacket. Zippers can break or stop working for a variety of reasons; typically you can fix them without completely replacing the zipper.

Slider Does Not Work 1. Place the teeth of the zipper into the correct grooves of the slider. 2.

Squeeze the sides of the zipper slider with a pair of pliers. Make sure to do it gently and not to over-squeeze them. You want it to be able to still slide up and down.

3. Gently pull the slider up and down to ensure that it is fixed. Zipper Pull Breaks 4.

Pull open one end of the arch that holds the pull to the zipper slider, using a pair of pliers. Be sure not too pull it open too far, or it may break. You just need it open enough to extract the zipper pull.

5. Slide the zipper pull off. 6.

Place another zipper pull under the arch. This can be a purchased item, a key chain, or a simple thread loop. 7.

Using pliers, close the arch back again.

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HOW DO YOU SEW A PARKA ZIPPER PN A JACKET? ZIPPER HAS 2 PULLIES?

Look at the way the zipper is sewn into the jacket now. It is probably sandwiched between 2 layers. What you have to do is carefully remove the stitching holding the broken zipper, opening the space between the two layers but retaining the folded seam allowance.

Insert the new zipper into the open space, placing the folded seam allowances (both layers) approximately 1/8" away from zipper teeth. Make sure that the folds of both layers are aligned, as you will be stitching through the top layer, the zipper tape and the bottom layer. Do this with both halves of the new zipper.

The important thing is to make sure the fabric is evenly distributed over the length of both halves of the zipper and that they align at top and bottom edges of the jacket. Another good idea is to hand baste each layer as you perform each step. This makes it easier to make any adjustments to get proper alignment.

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How to wash/dry a zip up hooded sweatshirt that will prevent the zipper from curling?

It cannot be prevented unless your jacket and zipper tape are matched in same type of materials. It will not help even you try to use an iron to solve the wrinkles.

The wrinkles of the zipper are due to the different material of the zipper tapes that use on the different jacket material. For example, if the zipper tape material is in polyester but the material of the jacket is cotton. When washing, the different shrinking percentage of two different materials that caused the zipper into wrinkles.

To solve the above problems, the manufacturers of the jackets should take note the below points: 1. Zipper in cotton material should be used to match with the cotton jacket material. Or 2.

Prior wash the cotton jacket material before sewing a polyester zipper onto the cotton jacket.

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How do you stop jackets from getting a bumpy zipper?

You cannot help this problem generally as it depends on some factors as follows: (1) If the material used in the zipper is too rigid and the material of your jacket is stretchy or vice versa, that can cause the bumpy zipper.

This cannot be corrected. (2) If the tension used on the machine presser foot is too loose or two tight this can cause the defect. In some cases this can be corrected by a professional tailor.

He can tell you if it is possible. (3) If the thread tension is too loose or too tight this also can cause the bumpy zipper. The only way to correct this is my a professional tailor or an experienced seamstress.

(4) If the fabric of the jacket shrinks and the fabric of the zipper does not and vice versa this cause a bumpy zipper (5) Lastly, this can happen if the metal or plastic teeth of the zipper is too bulky for the fabric (of the jacket) this will cause the bumpy zipper. This cannot be corrected

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How do I avoid the zippers on my jackets from curling when I wash them?

It cannot be avoided unless you could get a jacket with material that same as the zipper material!

The curling of the zipper is due to the different material of the zipper tapes that use on the different jacket material. For example, if the zipper tape material is in polyester but the material of the jacket is cotton. When washing, due to the different shrinking percentage of two different materials that caused the zipper into wrinkles.

To solve the above problems, the jacket manufacturers should : Either 1. Zipper in cotton material should be used to match with the cotton jacket material. Or 2.

Prior wash the cotton jacket material before sewing a polyester zipper onto the cotton jacket. Now, it will not help even you try to use an iron to solve the wrinkles

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I broke some zipper pulls on my jacket. Can I find an equivalent replacement?

Don't bother calling the Oakley vault number. Unless you bought it online, they won't be able to help. They'll tell you to call the Regular Oakley Customer Care number.

Also, since you washed the jacket, The store may not help you, but it does sound like a manuf. defect, unless it's out of warranty. Looking at the zipper pulls in your picture, they do not look like current jacket zipper pulls.

SO I would think your jacket is NOT in warranty at this point. This has happened to me before, and I have used key rings (the kind you have to split apart with your thumb- the PITA kind) and have hooked them on to the part that the zipper pull attaches to. Also, for the previous poster.

"Technical Outerwear" is Oakley terminology for snowboard/outerwear, stuff that is water proof etc. Normal Oakley jackets (made with non-waterproof fabrics) are not considered "tech outerwear". HTH D

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beresport · 4 years

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If you want this click here https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/_seNqxi Water Sports Equipment - 2 Pcs 8 Inch Longboard Surfboard Fin Box Black Nylon Plastic Single Tail Rudder Groove Center Single Fin Box Surfing Accessories Sport is very important for men, women as well as children. Choosing a proper shoe can help to protect you against common injuries associated with your type of workout. A proper sport shoe improve your performance. To finish your sports day, you will have to put your sports shoes in a separate plastic bag in order not to spread dirt and bad odors in the bag. You may choose the one that can contain everything you need. Today’s garments for sports and active outdoor wear are lighter, softer, more durable and faster drying. Sportswear or activewear is clothing, including footwear, worn for sport or physical exercise. Sport-specific clothing is worn for most sports and physical exercise, for practical, comfort or safety reasons. Camping & Hiking Camping is an outdoor activity involving overnight stays away from home in a shelter, such as a tent or a recreational vehicle. Hiking is a general word for traveling on foot in wilderness or countryside for pleasure or exercise. Entertainment Entertainment is important as it brings people together and is a good way for the entire family to bond. It diverts people’s attention from their demanding lives and amuses them in their leisure time. Fishing Fish provides nutrients and micronutrients that are essential to cognitive and physical development, especially in children, and are an important part of a healthy diet. Fitness & Body Building Regular exercise and physical activity promotes strong muscles and bones. It improves respiratory, cardiovascular health, and overall health. It help you maintain a healthy weight, reduce your risk for type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and reduce your risk for some cancers. Golf Golf can be good for your health and your heart because it improves muscle tone and endurance. Golf is a game that not only challenges your physical skill but also your ability to stay calm and focused. Horse Riding Riding offers cardio benefits. Lifting saddles onto the back of a horse, mucking stalls and moving hay bales builds muscles and physical strength. Riders can develop better reflexes and a sense of balance and coordination. Hunting Hunting keeps nature at a healthy balance of which the available habitat can support (carrying capacity) and maintain populations at levels compatible with human activity and land use. Feeling good about yourself as a hunter depends on how you think, what you value, and how you conduct yourself. Racquet Sports Aerobic activities bring benefits such as reduced risk of chronic illnesses including heart disease, stroke and type 2 diabetes. Racket sports help you maintain a healthy body weight and reduce your resting blood pressure. Roller & Skateboard Roller-skating is a great way to improve heart health, strengthen muscles, and burn calories. It works muscles in the legs, glutes, and core, burns about 600 calories an hour, and causes 50% less stress to the joints than running. It even improves flexibility and endurance. Skiing & Snowboarding Skiing and snowboarding is a great cardiovascular exercise that can help families burn some serious calories and lose weight. Snowboarding exerts a bit more energy than skiing, because it involves the whole body and you don’t have the help of poles to keep you upright. Team Sports Participation in team sports help to make friendships, develop communication skills, feel a sense of community, learn to respect their teammates and coaches… A team is a group of people who work together toward a common goal. Water Sports Water sports are a great form of exercise because these benefit both the body and mind. The tranquil quality of water reduces stress, anxiety and depression. Water aerobics helps improve your flexibility. Be Sport Be Healthy !

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violet-freedom · 5 years

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11/29/2019

~ sub by Dennis Simms of Riders of the Plastic Groove ~

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cloud-maan-og-blog · 7 years

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TEX [ORIGINAL POST - 8/14/2017] My name is Todd and I'm a night shift security guard at Ashland Town Center Mall in Northern Kentucky, or at least I was. I've spent many an hour walking the long, dark, corridors lined with stores and garnished with kiosks, soda machines, and cheap amusements. Most nights are quite peaceful, nothing really happens to warrant the shotgun hidden in the back office. All of the doors are locked so no one really comes in after the lady who waxes the floor leaves and I am left alone with my thoughts until the next shift comes at 5:00AM. Thankfully Joe likes to come in a half hour early to goof off and eat breakfast in the food court while no one else is around. He's a talkative one, though. After he eats he walks with me through the halls going on and on about whatever happened that day, occasionally listening to my thoughts. I can't say that I don't welcome the company, but at that time of night I usually just like being alone. Even so, we are best friends. You can have a bestie in your late twenties, right? Late in 2016 we got a little merry-go-round. The kind that's made of thick plastic with a glazed look to the paint. When I first saw it I actually mistook it for porcelain. It was a sight to behold, that much is true. It had a 'finer' look to it than most of the kiddie ride machines next to the play area. Our machines are nice, but this was on a whole other level. It was like putting a fine china plate in a cabinet full of plastic cups. The difference was that drastic. It's also worth noting that is was a noticeably bigger than most similar attractions that I've seen, roughly ten feet wide. It had a cowboy theme, sporting four ornately detailed horses, just the right size for a child, with shiny brass rods connecting to the ceiling, which was a standard tent-like structure like you would see on any other merry-go-round, but with beautifully painted scenes of cowboys riding their stallions through the Mesa Verde and lassoing bulls, cowboy stuff. The thing that really made this machine unique was a five(ish) foot tall figure of a cowboy, molded from the same material as the horses with the same glazed look and just as detailed. His face resembled John Wayne and he was waving his hat as if he were at a rodeo cheering on a bull rider from the stands, a shiny sheriff's badge almost glistening on his chest. Whoever painted this guy did a really good job. He seemed like a happy, upstanding kind of guy, so I named him Tex. Sometimes I would talk to Tex at night, mostly for catharsis sake, greeting him with a tip of my baseball cap and a gruff sounding "howdy, Tex." Sort of a cowboy salute. Of course he never greeted me back. There's something nice about opening up to something that doesn't talk back. They can't really go out with you to Buffalo Wild Wings and tell your crush about your foot fetish then leave you to pick up the tab while he takes her home for a roll in the haystack. Needless to say, we didn't speak for a while. Joe, if you're reading this; dick move. I guess I'm being a little too passive aggressive about this. It's too late in the game to be upset about that all things considered. Of course I told Tex about it the next day and it really helped me put things into perspective and before I knew it, me and Joe were friends again, though we began avoiding alcohol after that. After that I began unloading other emotional baggage onto Tex; how I finally got off of heroine, how I used to fantasize about marrying Cher (I had a poster of her over my bed as a teenager), and many dark and embarrassing things that I'm not too keen on recounting. I even showed off some sick baton trick that I had been working on. By the time that fidget spinners were the official big fad of 2017, Tex knew most of my secrets that even Joe didn't know. He was my silent Psychiatrist, my fortress of solitude. His big, cartoonish John Wayne face was my solace in a sea of consciousness. This was therapy for me. One night, after being contacted about my upcoming 10 year High School Reunion, I started looking back on that time; a time that I had long ago pushed out of my mind. Thoughts swam through my head of something that I had done. Something really really bad. I had never forgotten, but had just ignored it until it was no longer seemed to be an issue in my mind. But it was an issue now, and I just had to get it off of my chest. Thankfully, I knew someone that would hear me out. So I trudged over to the food court, bought a Mellow Yellow from the vending machine, and pulled up a chair next to Tex where I recounted my most detestable crime. I stood and tipped my hat and said, "hey, Tex." His face was the same as ever. Still unsure of whether or not I wanted to say this out loud, to vocally state that I had actually done what I did, I sat down and began drinking my Mellow Yellow, playing the events of that day over and over in my head. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek and decided that I had best say my piece and get it over with. I told him about when I was seventeen, how I partied day in and day our for years and woke up in a corn field somewhere in Iowa with a car full of contraband, how I partook of said contraband all alone and tried to drive all the way home higher than an kite, and how I ran over a kid that was waiting at a street corner for the school bus with her friends and mother, and how I did the worst thing that I ever could have done; I kept driving. I remember seeing the girl's mother running out into the street to her child. The sound of her friends screaming in terror. I found out that she actually lived with only a few scrapes and bruises but that doesn't make it any better. I ran from my problems, from my crime, instead of dealing with them directly and facing the consequences for my actions. I never came clean. That is something that I'll regret for the rest of my life. I sat in relative darkness next to Tex for what felt like hours, the stench of guilt wafting out of my every pore, draining from my tear ducts almost unceasingly. A polluted river of sorrow, salty with regret. I had never told anyone that story, not even Joe. Saying it out loud seemed to put everything in perspective. Finally I stood, thanked Tex for listening, and finished my rounds before heading back to the office to watch some Youtube videos and get my mind off of all this, at least for a while. I had a couple of days free and decided to get away; I needed some alone time and some private fishing would do nicely. So I went to my family's old lake-house in Ohio where I spent my time quietly casting my line and contemplating my life. It didn't feel good looking at myself that critically, neglectful person I was deep down reflected back so clearly in the sky-blue water. My dreams were just repeats of that day playing back over and over and every waking moment was stifled by guilt. I knew what I had to do, but I just wasn't ready yet. I didn't want to go to prison. So I returned home, got some rest, and went to work the next day as usual. I stepped into the mall just before closing, the last shoppers filtering out the front door with their bags. As I made my way to the back office I passed by the merry-go-round and found Tex gone. The merry-go-round was there, but he wasn't. The molded place where his over-sized feet were once bolted down was vacant, revealing a tiny plaque reading "Voodoo Attractions." The bolts were neatly placed on the floor nearby. I figured that Tex had been taken to a workshop to be refurbished and went on with my life. I spent an hour or so watching Youtube on my phone, occasionally glancing up at the video feed from the security cameras before finally going on my first rounds, which were pretty uneventful, the only notable thing being a large, plastic trash can that I had found overturned in the food court. The janitor must have missed one. Earl is getting pretty old now that I thought about it. I sighed and picked up the trash, placing it in the can, carefully balancing it so it wouldn't fall over again before returning to my business and wondering what had knocked it over in the first place. It was probably Joe for all I knew, I thought I had heard him slip in earlier. At about 3:30AM I went on my last rounds for the night. All was peaceful; the light of the full moon was shining in through the windows in the ceiling and I felt as if I was falling back into my old groove. Then I heard it. KERKLUNK! The sound was loud like a gunshot. I turned around, standing in the moonlight, shining my flashlight frantically into the darkness. Panic gripped me for a moment, then I stopped and chuckled. It must have been that trash can falling over again. I was just being silly. It's been four years since I started this job and never once had I come so close to leaping out of my skin. I broke into a full laugh, allowing it to echo through the dark corridors. KERKLUNK! All laughter ceased and I listened... KERKLUNK! It was closer this time. KERKLUNK! Closer. KERKLUNK! Faster. KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! The noises were steady now, rhythmic like... footsteps. I readied myself for a fight, flicking my baton open with my right hand and wielding my solid, metal flashlight like a club with my left. KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! The steps were in a full run now and coming fast. KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! As they approached I could hear a creaking noise between each step, like creaky floorboards and old. CREAKERKLUNK!CREAKERKLUNK! I could see it's shadow rounding the dark corner and come right for me. CREAKERKLUNK! CREAKERKLUNK! It was just outside my circle of moonlight. CREAKERKLUNK! CREAKERKLUNK! It came into view, charging at me with all the ferocity of an angry bull. It was Tex. Before I could do anything, he knocked me to the floor. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. His hard plastic exterior expanding and contracting, bending almost organically and producing a loud CREAK! with every movement. Suddenly he was on top of me. I instinctively covered my face before Tex unleashed a barrage of punches, breaking my left wrist and my nose in one massive swing. I recoiled in pain, leaving my face wide open to attacks. Every punch felt like being beaten with a wooden baseball bat landing with the force of a meteor. His plasticine face was stretched into a wicked grin. There was magic in this thing, dark magic. I managed to dodge one of his attacks and scrambled out from under the plastic behemoth, but to no avail. He grabbed me by the ankle, dragging me back before continuing his assault. My vision began to go dark. Was this it for me? Was my last memory going to be this thing punching me to death? I was fading away and there wasn't much that I could do except resign to my fate. I closed my eyes, preparing for death's kiss. BANG! A gunshot! The onslaught ceased. My eyes snapped open to see Tex looming above me, a rain of thick plastic shards from his back clattering over me. The grin that once adorned his painted face was now a wide-eyed visage of surprise and anger. A rush of adrenaline brought me back to full consciousness just as Tex stood up and charged at his assailant. It was Joe! Joe and that beautiful shotgun from the back office! I've never been so happy to see that man in my life. He fired again. BANG! Tex's left arm exploded! He turned, visibly angry, and charged at Joe, knocking him to the ground with a powerful right hook to the face before disappearing into the darkness. Joe quickly stood, shotgun in hand, and helped me up. "You okay, man?" I nodded as he forcefully patted my face, still processing what had just happened to me. Joe took me outside where we called the police and sipped a much deserved Mellow Yellow in the parking lot as far away from the mall as possible without leaving the premises. I explained everything that had happened the last few days, only leaving out the daring confession I had made to what I previously thought was an inanimate object with no capacity for intelligence. He was upset to find out that I had opened up to a statue instead of him, but forgave me all the same. We would start fresh from here. But I would never forget that sound, the inhuman creaking that came from that statue. I looked at Joe in light of the rising sun; a massive, dark bruise over the right side of his face becoming suddenly apparent. I smiled. "You should see your face, man," I said with a chuckle, "that bruise isn't going away anytime soon." "Wait till you see your's," replied Joe, taking out his cellphone and setting it to the mirror function. I beheld my image in all of it's glory, my entire face puffed up like giant, purple cauliflower. I laughed, Joe laughed, everything hurt from head to toe, and we were both on the same page for the first time in months. Finally the police arrived and Joe and I gave our version of the events. Of course we were laughed at. In hindsight I shouldn't have expected anything less. The story was preposterous. Two men attacked by a living statue? It's unbelievable, right? Things got even more unbelievable when we all went inside and found Tex once again bolted to the merry-go-round as he was when I first saw him, his left arm and back missing sizable chunks of plastic. We were arrested for destruction of property and disorderly conduct. We spent the next week in jail before a court date was decided and when our day in court came we found ourselves not against the mall personnel, as we and our attorney had previously expected, but four tall men in dark suits. The kind of men that had secrets and preferred to keep them under wraps. I very clearly remember one of them looking directly at me and smirking; it felt... scary. They claimed to be from Voodoo Attractions, the company that had rented Tex to the mall. They accused us of vandalizing their property, using fake security footage showing me and Joe getting drunk before shooting Tex with the shotgun, getting into a fist fight, and going outside to "prank call the cops." The 911 dispatcher gave a similar claim. This was backed up by audio of Joe calling in to report a murder and ending it with a lame refrigerator joke. None of this had actually happened; I knew this, Joe knew this. But their evidence was solid in the eyes of the jury. We were sentenced to six months in jail, two months probation, and a hefty fee, not to mention court costs. It was unjust, it was wrong, but it happened and, to be honest; I'm starting to think that we got off easy. The two police officers that had arrested us never appeared in court to testify and Joe told me that the 911 dispatcher that he had spoken to on the phone was a man. There's nothing about this that isn't fishy. So we spent the next six months in jail and now I'm back at home, sitting on my living room couch with an electronic monitor strapped to my ankle, typing my story in hopes that some of you might heed this warning to watch out for any products from Voodoo Attractions and never interact with them. I know I have. In my mind I can still hear the creaking and kerklanking sounds that Tex made when he moved. I've been hearing them for months and will probably be hearing them for the rest of my life. But since I've gotten out of jail, I've been questioning whether the sounds are actually in my head or if he's somewhere nearby, watching me, waiting for another opportunity to strike. [UPDATE - 8/16/2017] I've been tracking down the girl that I ran over with my car when I was in High School. I've talked to her mother and we're scheduled to meet this weekend. This is going to be really hard, but if I can tell a sentient, plastic cowboy about my misdoings, I think I can tell a person. Wish me luck. [USER 1 COMMENT] I may be wrong, but isn't the baseline jail time for hit and run 6 months? Maybe Tex was helping you pay for your crime, in a very scary and strange way [RESPONSE FROM TODD] I never thought of it like that. It puts a moralistic spin on things. [USER 2 COMMENT] Depending on jurisdiction a hit and run involving personal injury to a minor is considered an egregious act. It can be called anything from a traffic offense to attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon namely an automobile, and God forbid the police know OP was under the influence.Congrats for facing your demons OP. Takes balls. Hope all goes well. [UPDATE - 8/21/2017]Hello. Todd here. Things went well with the girl and her mom, but it looks like I might be spending some time in prison. My trial is Friday. I'll be sure to tell you the verdict when it's over and you probably won't hear from me after that. Thanks for sending your words of encouragement and for understanding. UPDATE 8-27-17 Hey, guys. It's me, Joe, Todd's best friend. You probably read about me at some point. Just got back from Iowa. What a trip. Todd gave me the password and told me to tell both of you what happened to him or whatever. He won't be getting back here for quite a while, with him going to prison and all. Court stuff is complicated and brain-numbinly stupid, so I'm going to make it quick. There was a trial, the miracle girl forgave him, it was touching, but he had a ten year sentence on the table. So Todd took a plea bargain that reduced the sentence to three years. On the bright side, until he gets out, I get to live in his house. At least as long as I can keep up rent, this place is a little pricier than I'm used to. Shouldn't be, though. The door was off the hinges when I got here. It was just laying out in the yard for the whole neighborhood to see. The property value should have plummeted to nothing by now, but hey, whatever, I'll live. Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna get offa here and be a handy man for some dandy ladies. Peace. [LINK TO ORIGINAL POST - https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/6u95r1/tex/]

#Creepypasta #Short Story #Literature #Tex #Cloud Maan #Merry Go Round #Spooky #Cowboy #Mall #Security #First Person Account

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sending-the-message · 7 years

Text

TEX by CloudMaan-0

[ORIGINAL POST - 8/14/2017]

My name is Todd and I’m a night shift security guard at Ashland Town Center Mall in Northern Kentucky, or at least I was. I’ve spent many an hour walking the long, dark, corridors lined with stores and garnished with kiosks, soda machines, and cheap amusements. Most nights are quite peaceful, nothing really happens to warrant the shotgun hidden in the back office. All of the doors are locked so no one really comes in after the lady who waxes the floor leaves and I am left alone with my thoughts until the next shift comes at 5:00AM. Thankfully Joe likes to come in a half hour early to goof off and eat breakfast in the food court while no one else is around. He’s a talkative one, though. After he eats he walks with me through the halls going on and on about whatever happened that day, occasionally listening to my thoughts. I can’t say that I don’t welcome the company, but at that time of night I usually just like being alone. Even so, we are best friends. You can have a bestie in your late twenties, right?

Late in 2016 we got a little merry-go-round. The kind that’s made of thick plastic with a glazed look to the paint. When I first saw it I actually mistook it for porcelain. It was a sight to behold, that much is true. It had a ‘finer’ look to it than most of the kiddie ride machines next to the play area. Our machines are nice, but this was on a whole other level. It was like putting a fine china plate in a cabinet full of plastic cups. The difference was that drastic. It’s also worth noting that is was a noticeably bigger than most similar attractions that I’ve seen, roughly ten feet wide.

It had a cowboy theme, sporting four ornately detailed horses, just the right size for a child, with shiny brass rods connecting to the ceiling, which was a standard tent-like structure like you would see on any other merry-go-round, but with beautifully painted scenes of cowboys riding their stallions through the Mesa Verde and lassoing bulls, cowboy stuff. The thing that really made this machine unique was a five(ish) foot tall figure of a cowboy, molded from the same material as the horses with the same glazed look and just as detailed. His face resembled John Wayne and he was waving his hat as if he were at a rodeo cheering on a bull rider from the stands, a shiny sheriff’s badge almost glistening on his chest. Whoever painted this guy did a really good job. He seemed like a happy, upstanding kind of guy, so I named him Tex.

Sometimes I would talk to Tex at night, mostly for catharsis sake, greeting him with a tip of my baseball cap and a gruff sounding “howdy, Tex.” Sort of a cowboy salute. Of course he never greeted me back. There’s something nice about opening up to something that doesn’t talk back. They can’t really go out with you to Buffalo Wild Wings and tell your crush about your foot fetish then leave you to pick up the tab while he takes her home for a roll in the haystack. Needless to say, we didn’t speak for a while. Joe, if you’re reading this; dick move. I guess I’m being a little too passive aggressive about this. It’s too late in the game to be upset about that all things considered. Of course I told Tex about it the next day and it really helped me put things into perspective and before I knew it, me and Joe were friends again, though we began avoiding alcohol after that.

After that I began unloading other emotional baggage onto Tex; how I finally got off of heroine, how I used to fantasize about marrying Cher (I had a poster of her over my bed as a teenager), and many dark and embarrassing things that I’m not too keen on recounting. I even showed off some sick baton trick that I had been working on. By the time that fidget spinners were the official big fad of 2017, Tex knew most of my secrets that even Joe didn’t know. He was my silent Psychiatrist, my fortress of solitude. His big, cartoonish John Wayne face was my solace in a sea of consciousness. This was therapy for me.

One night, after being contacted about my upcoming 10 year High School Reunion, I started looking back on that time; a time that I had long ago pushed out of my mind. Thoughts swam through my head of something that I had done. Something really really bad. I had never forgotten, but had just ignored it until it was no longer seemed to be an issue in my mind. But it was an issue now, and I just had to get it off of my chest. Thankfully, I knew someone that would hear me out. So I trudged over to the food court, bought a Mellow Yellow from the vending machine, and pulled up a chair next to Tex where I recounted my most detestable crime.

I stood and tipped my hat and said, “hey, Tex.” His face was the same as ever. Still unsure of whether or not I wanted to say this out loud, to vocally state that I had actually done what I did, I sat down and began drinking my Mellow Yellow, playing the events of that day over and over in my head. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek and decided that I had best say my piece and get it over with.

I told him about when I was seventeen, how I partied day in and day our for years and woke up in a corn field somewhere in Iowa with a car full of contraband, how I partook of said contraband all alone and tried to drive all the way home higher than an kite, and how I ran over a kid that was waiting at a street corner for the school bus with her friends and mother, and how I did the worst thing that I ever could have done; I kept driving. I remember seeing the girl’s mother running out into the street to her child. The sound of her friends screaming in terror. I found out that she actually lived with only a few scrapes and bruises but that doesn’t make it any better. I ran from my problems, from my crime, instead of dealing with them directly and facing the consequences for my actions. I never came clean. That is something that I’ll regret for the rest of my life.

I sat in relative darkness next to Tex for what felt like hours, the stench of guilt wafting out of my every pore, draining from my tear ducts almost unceasingly. A polluted river of sorrow, salty with regret. I had never told anyone that story, not even Joe. Saying it out loud seemed to put everything in perspective. Finally I stood, thanked Tex for listening, and finished my rounds before heading back to the office to watch some Youtube videos and get my mind off of all this, at least for a while.

I had a couple of days free and decided to get away; I needed some alone time and some private fishing would do nicely. So I went to my family’s old lake-house in Ohio where I spent my time quietly casting my line and contemplating my life. It didn’t feel good looking at myself that critically, neglectful person I was deep down reflected back so clearly in the sky-blue water. My dreams were just repeats of that day playing back over and over and every waking moment was stifled by guilt. I knew what I had to do, but I just wasn’t ready yet. I didn’t want to go to prison. So I returned home, got some rest, and went to work the next day as usual.

I stepped into the mall just before closing, the last shoppers filtering out the front door with their bags. As I made my way to the back office I passed by the merry-go-round and found Tex gone. The merry-go-round was there, but he wasn’t. The molded place where his over-sized feet were once bolted down was vacant, revealing a tiny plaque reading “Voodoo Attractions.” The bolts were neatly placed on the floor nearby. I figured that Tex had been taken to a workshop to be refurbished and went on with my life. I spent an hour or so watching Youtube on my phone, occasionally glancing up at the video feed from the security cameras before finally going on my first rounds, which were pretty uneventful, the only notable thing being a large, plastic trash can that I had found overturned in the food court. The janitor must have missed one. Earl is getting pretty old now that I thought about it. I sighed and picked up the trash, placing it in the can, carefully balancing it so it wouldn’t fall over again before returning to my business and wondering what had knocked it over in the first place. It was probably Joe for all I knew, I thought I had heard him slip in earlier.

At about 3:30AM I went on my last rounds for the night. All was peaceful; the light of the full moon was shining in through the windows in the ceiling and I felt as if I was falling back into my old groove. Then I heard it. KERKLUNK! The sound was loud like a gunshot. I turned around, standing in the moonlight, shining my flashlight frantically into the darkness. Panic gripped me for a moment, then I stopped and chuckled. It must have been that trash can falling over again. I was just being silly. It’s been four years since I started this job and never once had I come so close to leaping out of my skin. I broke into a full laugh, allowing it to echo through the dark corridors. KERKLUNK! All laughter ceased and I listened… KERKLUNK! It was closer this time. KERKLUNK! Closer. KERKLUNK! Faster. KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! The noises were steady now, rhythmic like… footsteps.

I readied myself for a fight, flicking my baton open with my right hand and wielding my solid, metal flashlight like a club with my left. KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! The steps were in a full run now and coming fast. KERKLUNK! KERKLUNK! As they approached I could hear a creaking noise between each step, like creaky floorboards and old. CREAKERKLUNK!CREAKERKLUNK! I could see it’s shadow rounding the dark corner and come right for me. CREAKERKLUNK! CREAKERKLUNK! It was just outside my circle of moonlight. CREAKERKLUNK! CREAKERKLUNK! It came into view, charging at me with all the ferocity of an angry bull. It was Tex.

Before I could do anything, he knocked me to the floor. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. His hard plastic exterior expanding and contracting, bending almost organically and producing a loud CREAK! with every movement. Suddenly he was on top of me. I instinctively covered my face before Tex unleashed a barrage of punches, breaking my left wrist and my nose in one massive swing. I recoiled in pain, leaving my face wide open to attacks. Every punch felt like being beaten with a wooden baseball bat landing with the force of a meteor. His plasticine face was stretched into a wicked grin. There was magic in this thing, dark magic.

I managed to dodge one of his attacks and scrambled out from under the plastic behemoth, but to no avail. He grabbed me by the ankle, dragging me back before continuing his assault. My vision began to go dark. Was this it for me? Was my last memory going to be this thing punching me to death? I was fading away and there wasn’t much that I could do except resign to my fate. I closed my eyes, preparing for death’s kiss. BANG! A gunshot! The onslaught ceased.

My eyes snapped open to see Tex looming above me, a rain of thick plastic shards from his back clattering over me. The grin that once adorned his painted face was now a wide-eyed visage of surprise and anger. A rush of adrenaline brought me back to full consciousness just as Tex stood up and charged at his assailant. It was Joe! Joe and that beautiful shotgun from the back office! I’ve never been so happy to see that man in my life. He fired again. BANG! Tex’s left arm exploded! He turned, visibly angry, and charged at Joe, knocking him to the ground with a powerful right hook to the face before disappearing into the darkness.

Joe quickly stood, shotgun in hand, and helped me up. “You okay, man?” I nodded as he forcefully patted my face, still processing what had just happened to me. Joe took me outside where we called the police and sipped a much deserved Mellow Yellow in the parking lot as far away from the mall as possible without leaving the premises. I explained everything that had happened the last few days, only leaving out the daring confession I had made to what I previously thought was an inanimate object with no capacity for intelligence. He was upset to find out that I had opened up to a statue instead of him, but forgave me all the same. We would start fresh from here. But I would never forget that sound, the inhuman creaking that came from that statue. I looked at Joe in light of the rising sun; a massive, dark bruise over the right side of his face becoming suddenly apparent. I smiled.

“You should see your face, man,” I said with a chuckle, “that bruise isn’t going away anytime soon.”

“Wait till you see your’s,” replied Joe, taking out his cellphone and setting it to the mirror function. I beheld my image in all of it’s glory, my entire face puffed up like giant, purple cauliflower. I laughed, Joe laughed, everything hurt from head to toe, and we were both on the same page for the first time in months.

Finally the police arrived and Joe and I gave our version of the events. Of course we were laughed at. In hindsight I shouldn’t have expected anything less. The story was preposterous. Two men attacked by a living statue? It’s unbelievable, right? Things got even more unbelievable when we all went inside and found Tex once again bolted to the merry-go-round as he was when I first saw him, his left arm and back missing sizable chunks of plastic. We were arrested for destruction of property and disorderly conduct.

We spent the next week in jail before a court date was decided and when our day in court came we found ourselves not against the mall personnel, as we and our attorney had previously expected, but four tall men in dark suits. The kind of men that had secrets and preferred to keep them under wraps. I very clearly remember one of them looking directly at me and smirking; it felt… scary. They claimed to be from Voodoo Attractions, the company that had rented Tex to the mall. They accused us of vandalizing their property, using fake security footage showing me and Joe getting drunk before shooting Tex with the shotgun, getting into a fist fight, and going outside to “prank call the cops.” The 911 dispatcher gave a similar claim. This was backed up by audio of Joe calling in to report a murder and ending it with a lame refrigerator joke. None of this had actually happened; I knew this, Joe knew this. But their evidence was solid in the eyes of the jury. We were sentenced to six months in jail, two months probation, and a hefty fee, not to mention court costs.

It was unjust, it was wrong, but it happened and, to be honest; I’m starting to think that we got off easy. The two police officers that had arrested us never appeared in court to testify and Joe told me that the 911 dispatcher that he had spoken to on the phone was a man. There’s nothing about this that isn’t fishy. So we spent the next six months in jail and now I’m back at home, sitting on my living room couch with an electronic monitor strapped to my ankle, typing my story in hopes that some of you might heed this warning to watch out for any products from Voodoo Attractions and never interact with them. I know I have. In my mind I can still hear the creaking and kerklanking sounds that Tex made when he moved. I’ve been hearing them for months and will probably be hearing them for the rest of my life. But since I’ve gotten out of jail, I’ve been questioning whether the sounds are actually in my head or if he’s somewhere nearby, watching me, waiting for another opportunity to strike.

[UPDATE - 8/16/2017]

I’ve been tracking down the girl that I ran over with my car when I was in High School. I’ve talked to her mother and we’re scheduled to meet this weekend. This is going to be really hard, but if I can tell a sentient, plastic cowboy about my misdoings, I think I can tell a person. Wish me luck.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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