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yourlocalbrawler · 2 years

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Ready Now || Teagan and Patricia

Timing: Current Parties: @yourlocalbrawler and @teaganmyrick Summary: During their first official date as girlfriends, Teagan and Patricia see an animated movie at the drive in. The fun movie-watching session is cut short by a haunting nightmare and a supernatural revelation. TWs: Parental Death

Eyes were heavy and worn, nights of sleep eluding them for several rotations in a row. Despite this, Teagan was determined to not cancel the long awaited date that Patricia had asked her on. She needed to know what the date would lead to. Whether it was what she feared or a pleasant surprise, she’d accept it and go down the path Fate had set for her. It was the only way.

So, she trudged forward on wobbly legs, with a fluttering chest, and what she thought would be summer date attire. Which evidently was jean shorts, black combat boots, and a tucked short-sleeve button up that clasped all the way to the neck. Teagan put her hair up strategically messily, leaving thick strands loose by her ears. Her look felt complete, felt like her. She just hoped it hid her exhaustion and fear enough. Fear of seeing her mother in the state she found her all those years ago.

Teagan didn’t know why she was suddenly seeing her mum that way, but she didn’t know where to go for answers either. Likely it was something to do with the town, so she did her best to ignore it. Luckily, that was easier thanks to Patricia, who was sitting next to her and driving them to the drive-in. Excitement filled her, and she smiled languidly at the wolf, letting herself be in the moment. “You look lovely tonight. I know I’ve said it a few times already, but you do.”

Most of Patricia’s day so far had been filled overjoyed preparation. She’d taken the car to get cleaned, bought out the entire row at the drive-in, and even pulled out the one pair of ripped jeans that she owned for special occasions only to wear with her leather jacket and her white tanktop. Sure, it wasn’t at all fancy date attire, but she preferred to look good than to look fancy, and she hoped Teagan would feel the same.

As Patricia drove herself and Teagan to the drive-in theater, music quietly played on the radio, to which she couldn’t help but drum her index fingers on the steering wheel. “I look lovely? Have you looked in a mirror darling? You look absolutely breathtaking.” She took her eyes off the road for a brief moment to glance over at her passenger, a warm but genuine smirk on her face. She was overjoyed, enough that she was blind to what was troubling Teagan. Looking back ahead, she saw that they were getting close to the spot, so she slowed down and pulled into the theater.

It felt like only a moment or two had passed before Patricia was able to park in their spot. They hadn’t even started the actual date activity yet but she was already getting nervous, and she didn’t want to mess it up somehow. The commercials began and she rolled over a bit in her seat, so she could look between the screen and Teagan more easily. Her eyes fell on the nix for a moment, a warm, affectionate grin painting her lips. “Thanks again, by the way… for letting me take you out. I’ll be sure to not make you regret it.”

A breathy laugh aired out of Teagan’s nose and she shook her head, playfully shoving Patricia for her compliments. Had she not been used to her date’s comments, she surely would have blushed. Instead, warmth spread from her stomach and filled her with a soft joy that she could only describe as pleasant. “I suppose now that this is a date, you’re going to start to really amp up the flirting, huh?” Her eyes widened at the thanks, and that time, Teagan put a little more power behind her smack to Patricia’s arm. “You really need to learn to not thank me. Don’t be so foolish with your words. I release you…cariad.”

Scales rolled over Teagan’s cheeks then, and she had to turn slightly to hide them while she pretended to watch the commercials. It worked for the most part. Even as the sight of her mother in the distance made her breathe in sharply and reach for Patricia’s hand in a haste. “D-do we have snacks of any s-sort?” She stuttered, on the verge of panic. Alys looked peaceful in the distance, but the image spiked her fear anyway because Teagan knew she wasn’t supposed to be there. The trick was cruel, but she was determined to will it away.

“Oh you have no idea how much I’m going to ‘amp it up’.” Patricia loved to tease Teagan, most of all the way she reacted and returned the energy that she put out. She greatly enjoyed having a flirtatious rapport with somebody that had become so special to her. “It’s rather bold of you to assume that I didn’t intend to be so foolish, fy nhrysor.” Over the past few days leading up to the date, she’d spent a little bit each night learning specifically the romance sections of a welsh language learning application, in hopes that she could repay the gesture of being taught how to dance, and to better her flirting skills.

An almost mischievous grin spread across Patricia’s face at the question posed to her, as if she’d been waiting for Teagan to ask. She leaned over and reached into the back seat, pulling a blanket into the floorboard to reveal some boxes of candy, some water bottles, and a travel container of cupcakes. “Of course we have snacks, compliments of yours truly, to repay you for giving me your wonderful company tonight. Help yourself to whatever you like.” It took a moment before she realized that her other hand was being held so tightly, like Teagan was afraid. It was clear that Patricia’s mood immediately shifted upon noticing, following her gaze to see that nothing was there, before looking back. “What’s wrong? Did you see something? Is somebody there?”

There was a sheen to Teagan’s eyes when she looked at Patricia. She was in awe, in pure adoration of the woman already, but then? The use of her tongue made something rumble in her chest, something she couldn’t interpret. “What did you just say?” She asked with widened eyes. Part of it what she felt were nerves. That was easy enough to place, but the flutter of something was eluding Teagan. Regardless of the frustration that brought, it was a welcomed distraction from the hallucinations. From her mother looking at her in confusion, and always, always at a distance. “Did you just speak Welsh?” The terror she felt before was washed away with a gentle warmth. Between Patricia’s lovely personality and all the gestures she was making, it was easy to look away from the apparition of her mother and dismiss it all.

With her grip relaxed and set free from Patricia’s hand, Teagan cupped her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. “We can talk about that later,” She kept her voice at a whisper, the smile she wore evident in the sound. Whatever could trouble her would have to wait, she thought. The date was already much too delightful to cancel midway through or to spend it worrying about seeing things that something in town was torturing her with. Teagan thought it was best to not let whatever that could be, win. “You’ve got quite the setup and I just want to focus on us right now.”

Patricia’s eyes widened slightly as she was questioned the first time, worried she’d gotten something horribly wrong and said something that made no sense. An exhale of relief escaped her soon after when she spotted the glistening in Teagan’s eyes, warmly smiling at her in response, feeling a deep warmth settling within her. “Yeah, I did. I’ve been spending some time studying with this language app on my phone. I did say I was going to step it up a notch.” After a playful wink, she was surprised to suddenly be pulled into a passionate kiss. With closed eyes she returned the gesture, until reluctantly parting to speak.

“Okay, we’ll talk later then.” The movie soon began playing on the projector screen ahead of the car, but Patricia’s attention was still focused on the person in the passenger’s seat. Finally she was beginning to understand some of what she’d been feeling around Teagan, the romantic affection that agitated the butterflies in her stomach and made her feel so lucky to be around her. “I’m glad you like the setup, Teags. I tried my best to make everything as perfect as possible for our first date.” Leaning in quickly, she placed a gentle kiss on Teagan's cheek. With an exaggerated, joking yawn, she stretched her arm over and rested it around her shoulders. “Looks like the movie’s started.”

For two adults, the new Superpets movie didn’t seem like an obvious choice, but given that it was an animated one, Teagan didn’t even need to beg Patricia to pick it. She loved picking at and appreciating methods and choices, marvelling at the talent the animation team had for anything she watched. Being on a date in a drive-in cinema was no different, and she leaned into Patricia’s touch, interest piqued when the movie began. The scene made Teagan lean forward onto the dashboard, enraptured by the movements. If she looked hard enough, she could see the most subtle breaks between frames, the ones that were unavoidable. This helped, if only a little, to find a grounding point among the environment Patricia had made.

It was relaxing to be in the car, to be in a safe space that she hadn’t been able to create or find since her night terrors started back up with a vengeance. The atmosphere lulled Teagan’s eyes, and she reached out to lay her hand on Patricia’s lap for an added measure of anchoring. Her eyes grew heavy, the weight too much for her to keep them open. And she really wanted to. She was on a date with a person she cared about and enjoyed, but her exhaustion didn’t take leniency on that fact. In a matter of minutes, the world blurred and faded to black. And then to red.

While Teagan watched the movie, Patricia watched her. The small changes in her expression, the way that her eyes seemed to be scanning for quirks in the animation, it was unlike anything she’d seen before from somebody. Every once in a while, she looked back to the movie, but it was nothing compared to Teagan’s enjoyment. After she’d fallen asleep, her attention was drawn back to the animated film on the screen while she relaxed, feeling the weight of Teagan’s hand resting atop her lap.

The movie wasn’t bad by any measure, but it wasn’t necessarily Patricia’s type of movie. She was only paying attention to it so she could tell Teagan what happened when she woke up, and that was enough for her. Regardless of how much she enjoyed the actual movie being played on the large screen ahead of them, she couldn’t help but wear a small, soft smile. In the car it felt like there were no problems waiting for them outside, like nothing could hurt them here, physically or emotionally. It was a nice feeling, but it wasn’t true. The same problems waited for them before and after this pleasant moment. Hunters, Patricia’s parents, The Ring, were all still problems that could only be bottled up for so long before they exploded. She hoped that Teagan felt as safe as she did, or that she’d forget her worries for a little bit while in the enclosed safety of the car.

Teagan mumbled in her sleep, struggling in her nightmare to run away from the grotesque visions her mind had conjured up. The guilt, the sorrow, and the terror mixed together like the most bitter cocktail she’d ever had, and poured into her sleep. And while Teagan trusted that Patricia had a way with monsters, there were some that she couldn’t reach until it was too late. The dark beings, who were long-legged, bony, and dripping with blood, could march around every crevice with ease. Cross over in single bounds to cause darkness and ensure every square inch was covered. Her silence didn’t last long, the visions growing more and more terrifying with each second, and in an instant, Teagan shot up, screaming.

The dreaming nix took that terror back with her into consciousness, no longer able to recall what she dreamt or where she was. Even with eyes open, there was no exit in sight. Darkness, an eternal end with no doors or ground to find purchase and help Teagan not fall further into panic. She was floating into the abyss of endless terror, swiping her claws to protect herself from whatever lay waiting. Eventually, she found the ground. Her bottom met grass and dirt, and she didn’t know how she had gotten there, but that didn’t matter. When Teagan looked up, she found that Patricia was bleeding and to her horror, her blood was on her claws.

Everything seemed to be going fine until Teagan awoke with a blood-curdling scream, immediately drawing Patricia’s attention over to the nix in her passenger seat. She reacted too late to the first slash of claws against her, a series of deep gashes left on her cheek by the panicked attack. She knew she had to help Teagan, but she also knew that there was no way to do that if she got torn to shreds first. “Teagan, stop! It’s me!” To protect herself, she raised her arms to block the flurry of claws from hurting anything vital, though her arms were heavily torn into.

Hot blood formed heavy streams of blood that flowed from Patricia’s wounds, dripping onto her clothes and the upholstery of the car. She couldn’t reach out fast enough to catch Teagan due to the pain she found herself in, so all she could do was watch as she fell back onto the ground. She’d usually be healing by now, but the distance from the next full moon was far enough away that her enhanced healing was greatly slowed. She was more worried than she was in pain, so she quickly got out of the car and rushed to Teagan, crouching down to help her, her skin stained pink in the wake of her crimson essence. “Talk to me, sweetheart. What happened?”

“You’re bleeding.” Breath began to quicken, and tears welled, burning with the guilt that was rising like the bile in her throat. Blood was normally fine on Teagan’s skin and scales, but it was Patricia’s. A person whose blood was never meant to paint it. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry, cari—” She cut herself off, choking on the word that had grown spikes in the wake of her terror. No longer did she have the right to use such a soft term. She was so sure that everything they had created was revoked, ruined by her error. Just as she had predicted, she was once again a mistake.

Teagan flinched away at Patricia’s proximity and crawled away reluctantly. As much as she wanted to feel her close, she had lost that right. “I’ll g-go.” She choked, eyes pleading and apologizing when she looked back up to her—her—she didn’t know. What was Patricia to her now that she had effectively broken everything? She looked at the necklace dangling from Patricia’s neck and choked out a sob, finally admitting defeat and standing up to run. As far as she could. “I knew I’d—that I’d ruin it. But n-not like this.”

For a brief moment, Patricia was incredibly aware that she had a choice to make. It felt as time slowed down when Teagan stood and took that painful step away, clearly about to start running. She didn’t know whether to keep her company and reassure her, or to let her run and give her some space. All she knew in that moment was what she would want in the same situation, so she reached out, gently grabbing the nix’s hand before she could flee from what had happened. “Stop, stay and talk with me. You haven’t ruined anything, trust me.”

Patricia knew better than most that it was hard to separate the actions of the body from the intentions of the mind. It had taken a while to differentiate between the two in her childhood, but eventually she learned that the beast was both a nuisance and a gift. “Come back to the car, I have a towel in the trunk for emergencies to clean up with.” With a bittersweet smile, she gently rubbed the back of Teagan’s hand with her thumb. “You can talk to me and tell me what’s wrong on the ride home, because I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. You looked too… afraid.”

Selfish as it was, Teagan allowed the warmth from Patricia’s skin to ground her, catch her before the fall could be too great. She wasn’t the one hurt, the one bleeding. In fact, she had caused it all. But that touch, that gesture was something she craved so badly. It was in a way that made her heart ache and brace itself as it waited for Teagan to finally make a decision, hoping to find some sort of relief.

“Go to her,” The voice spoke in Welsh, suddenly, making the nix jump and widen her eyes with a mixture of surprise and fear. She didn’t remember what her mother’s voice sounded like all those years, but before Teagan turned, she knew it was her mother. The realization hit her so powerfully, and it was almost impossible to digest the way Alys’s voice echoed and layered on top of itself, reforming all those baby memories into something more tangible. “Go,” She said once more, pointing to Patricia with her chin.

On autopilot, Teagan did as she was told and surged forward with more force than she intended, pressing her cheek firmly to Patricia’s chest as she began to sob. “It’s okay. I don’t understand either. But I know it’s you now, guppy. We’ll figure it out soon. Be with her for now.” The words were a comfort, erasing the images she had seen before when she had awoken on the streets with Portia. “I already like her,” Even with Alys being a blur through Teagan’s tears, she knew her mother was crying just the same as her and smiling, and her grip tightened around Patricia. The night terrors her mind had just conjured were just a memory, replaced and no longer having the meaning they once had. “She’s here,” Teagan sniffled, “I want to go. I want to go. Can we? I’m sorry. I didn’t know—I didn’t think—I’m sorry.”

Patricia was clearly confused, worried even, as Teagan jumped and looked back at seemingly nothing, like an unseen force was calling to her. Her thumb continued sliding back and forth along her gentle skin, hoping to ground her against whatever was trying to confuse her. She’d misunderstood the situation greatly, but that only added to the relief she felt upon Teagan charging into her, prompting her to wrap her strong arms around her affectionately in response. “Who’s..?” Patricia started to ask for Teagan to explain further, but now clearly wasn’t the time, not at all. “Yeah, of course. Let’s go.”

After leading Teagan to her seat and holding the door open while she got in, Patricia grabbed a towel from the trunk and moved to sit down in the driver’s seat. She took a moment to wipe the blood from the dashboard and the center console, before putting the car into reverse and starting to drive away. “Hey, Teags? Are you okay..?” She peeked over as they left the premises of the drive-in, still extremely worried about her date in the seat next to her, but also relieved that she could now safely get them both home. There were many thoughts surging through her head, but at the forefront of her mind was a wave of questions and confusion.

“I’m not sure if I’m okay.” Eyes squeezed shut, and body tightened impossibly into a small ball in the passenger seat. Teagan wasn’t sure how to begin to explain, knowing how crazy it all sounded. But if anyone would be willing to listen, to even be calm, it was Patricia. She felt the truth of that in her bones. “I’ve been seeing mum,” She whispered, looking out the window and gripping her knees closer to her chest. “Thus the nightmares, I think. I used to have them all the time before I moved here. They were fading, and then, I saw her. In the distance. And she looked so confused, and so, so out of damn place.” Her voice trembled, as did her hands as she looked at them, still bloody.

“I’m so sorry, Patricia. If you no longer want to be around me, I’d understand. I probably sound like a loon, and it’s only going to get worse because she spoke to me. I know she did. She told me to go to you.” And of course she listened. Teagan was more than glad that she had. Furthermore, Alys had said she had liked Patricia. That meant everything to the nix, and she’d hold on to that so long as she was allowed to, but she more than understood if not. She knew she tended to be a mistake. “I’m sorry I ruined our date.”

After a brief moment of piercing silence, Patricia finally opened her mouth to respond. “You don’t sound crazy at all. There’s a nix and a werewolf in this car right now, I’m fuckin’ certain ghosts are real.” She joked, lightening the mood with a chuckle after her reassurance that she believed Teagan. There wasn’t much that she would be unable to believe, and she’d probably lose it if she’d had such bad nightmares and terrors as well. She sympathized with her partner, that much was clear. “You didn’t ruin anything. You’re still here, so the date’s going as perfectly as I could hope. I just like your company, dude.” Her words may have been super informal, but her romantic and loyal intentions were genuine to her very core.

“I still want to be around you, okay? You’re not getting rid of me that easily, fy nhrysor.” Patricia spoke in a hopeful, lighthearted manner, hoping to ease the tension and emotion of the situation to allow Teagan to be more comfortable with everything that had occurred. A light mechanical whirring came from her side of the car as she slightly cracked the window, allowing the rapid breeze to cool them down and tussle her hair. Sure, they’d had a scary and emotionally charged series of moments back at the drive-in, but she was on top of the world after simply being able to go on a date with somebody that she’d developed strong feelings for. She hoped that the light breeze and somewhat soft conversation would help Teagan stop being so hard on herself. “So… your mom likes me?”

The chuckle that escaped Teagan was dry and lacked amusement, but it served to lift part of the weight from her chest. Patricia always had a way of cocooning her in safety, in a blanket of humor that protected her heart from the sorrow. It was one of the many things Teagan loved about her, and in turn, she gave it back with just as much heart. “It’s pronounced fy nhyrysor, but that’s okay. I’ll teach you, cariad.” Her smile was a little more genuine, finding its footing in the trail of hurt to make its way to a safer place. To Patricia. The way the wind danced on her skin to settle her as their surroundings blurred by.

Teagan reached over to grab Patricia’s hand, hovering her finger over the wounds she caused. With a wince, she looked back up to the woman who didn’t want to get rid of her. The thought relaxed her, along with the question. Though it probably didn’t seem like it did, given that she burst into tears. “She does. I couldn’t believe it, you know? Hearing her voice. I forgot…I forgot what she sounded like,” She scooted closer, pulling Patricia’s face closer to plant a gentle kiss to her cheek—

“You’ve grown up so much.” Alys appeared out of nowhere in the back seat, sending Teagan to the door in shock. “Ffyc!” Teagan yelped, staring wide-eyed at her mother, as she panted. “Can you not do that mum?!” She spoke in her native tongue, immediately being reprimanded for her language, but she refocused onto Patricia. “Please stop the car. She’s here.”

“Got it, good to know.” Patricia grinned, returning her focus to the road ahead of them. There weren’t many cars on the road at the time, but her dad had deeply instilled a fear of the road in her when she was learning to drive. “I’m really happy for you, not many people get the chance to say goodbye. You deserve that chance.” Allowing her face to be pulled closer to Teagan, she felt her chest and cheeks warm at the soft, affectionate kiss placed upon her.

Then came the yelp, prompting the already slightly distracted Patricia to swerve the car in a panic, sending it off of the road and onto the flat grass to the right. She carefully brought them to a stop, before taking a moment to breathe a few deep breaths, so as to stop the beast from knocking at the door. “Shit, are you okay? She’s there?”

Patricia turned her torso slightly to look into the back seat, unable to smell or see anything. Despite the lack of evidence, she knew that Teagan was truly seeing something when she felt the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stand on end, reacting to a force unseen. “Hello… Ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Patricia Moore. I’m your daughter’s girlfriend… right? Or are we not there yet?” She didn’t know whether or not she should pick a random spot in an attempt to make some sort of eye contact where a person would probably be, so she decided against it and instead looked to Teagan to focus on her half of the conversation. The situation was already odd enough for her, staring at a ghost’s mouth or any other part of their body would only make things worse.

Teagan swallowed, nodding at Patricia. “Yes,” She picked English first so as to not need to translate for the time being. “I’m going to speak welsh to her just so you know. It’s what she knows.” Taking a deep breath, Teagan looked back at Alys, who was smiling wanly at the couple. It was as if she was trying to memorize it all, ensure she couldn’t forget a single detail. And as much as that made Teagan want to reach out and hug her, she knew that would be impossible. She knew that fact too well. “She said it’s a pleasure to meet you, mum. Her name is Patricia and she’s my girlfriend.”

“I can tell,” Alys replied. “You look happy. I like the way she looks at you.”

Teagan couldn’t help but chuckle, eyes sparkling with fresh tears at how easily her mother accepted her. “I do, too. I really do. But mum, How are you here?”

“I don’t know, but I’m happy I am. You’ve grown up so much. I didn’t recognize you at first and that’s why I stayed so far away. But now I can see it’s you, my little gup.” Alys began to cry, meanwhile Teagan turned to Patricia and explained, “She doesn’t know how she’s here, but she’s happy. She likes you.” Smiling, she looked at Alys and shakily sighed, happy and bewildered all at once. “I’ve missed you so much mum. I’m so sorry I wasn’t stronger. I’m so sorry I let you di—”

“No, no. None of that. Please, gup. I love you. I’ve missed you and your siblings. Where are they? Can you tell them I love them too?” Teagan reached out for Patricia, gripping her hand tightly as she listened to Alys. “She said she loves me.” She spoke to her partner, fresh hot tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t help but squeeze tighter when she saw that Alys had disappeared the instant after she finished talking.

Digesting the scene, she finally choked out, “She's gone again.”

Though Patricia only understood what Teagan told her of the conversation, the heart wrenching emotions that were being exchanged were enough to draw tears from her eyes. She didn’t yet understand why, after all, she hadn’t really fully cried in a while, but seeing such an intense and truly loving reunion made her heart ache. “That’s good, I’m glad I managed to make a good first impression.” She tried to joke through the tears, both to try to mask her vulnerability and try to raise the mood as much as she possibly could given the situation, before giving a halfhearted chuckle that was interrupted somewhat by the weight of the knot in her throat.

Patricia’s hand held Teagan’s in return, her eyes not leaving the nix’s whatsoever, even as her own began to follow along in being obstructed by a flood of tears. She felt like a big vulnerable baby, so she used her free hand to try to wipe away the stream that stained her tears. That stopped when she noticed the silence that had suddenly returned to the car, and the pressure of Teagan’s grip steadily increasing.

It felt like the air had been sucked from the car while Patricia waited for Teagan to speak, to say what had happened next, but instead she was greeted with three simple words in a tone that she couldn’t decipher. “I’m sorry, Teagan. Did you say everything you needed to say?” She cleared her throat in an attempt to clear the phantom blockage that made her feel like her heart was attempting to escape. Her heart ached for Teagan. She deserved more time with her mother, even if it wasn’t possible. “I may not have gotten to actually meet her, but I think I would’ve liked your mom. She raised an amazing woman.”

Teagan’s hands felt like they were failing, as if her whole body wanted to reject the very idea that she had somehow lost her mother again. She’d learned how to live without her, raised herself and her siblings ever since she passed. Having lost so much, one had to just adjust and accept, move on and use veins as a thread and sew their heart back together with the hurt. All that knowledge, and Teagan couldn’t help but let the stitches come apart as she crawled over the center console to get to Patricia. She didn’t care how pathetic it was to sit in her lap, she needed to be held. Needed to hold her partner close so she could be protected for once, and relinquish the role she had an iron grip on for so long.

“I’ll never be able to say everything I need to. Never.” Teagan sobbed, finding her face planted in the crook of Patricia’s neck. “It hurts,” Her pain was in every breath, in every nerve, and she sank further. Placing a gentle kiss to Patricia’s skin, Teagan cried softly, the warmth doing well to keep her from completely falling apart. She was safe with Patricia, always. “You would’ve loved her. I’m not as lovable, but I hope I can be one day.”

Once Teagan had crawled into her lap, Patricia held her close, gently rubbing her side while she let out the intense and sudden grief into the crook of her neck. “No, most of the time you can’t, but she knows you’re in a place where you can be happy now at the very least.” That was all she knew to say, all of the words of sympathy she could think to utter. She couldn’t think of anything else that could possibly soothe Teagan’s pain, so she believed that it would be best to just be present while she processed that pain. Her heart wept for her, but right now she needed to be strong, so she held Teagan tighter to hide her own tears.

“She seemed like a great mother.” Patricia turned her head to place a gentle kiss on Teagan’s cheek, feeling the soft tears dripping onto her neck. “I don’t think it’s possible for her to be more lovable than you, my darling.” Though she spoke with a soft whisper, almost like a cooing bird, her voice cracked and wavered slightly, showing she was less strong than the facade she was trying to put on. A strange part of Patricia was upset with herself, because she couldn’t help more, because she couldn’t make the pain and sadness stop. She’d grieved in the past, but never for somebody so close to her heart as Teagan’s mother was to hers. “It’ll be okay, you’ll be okay.”

As the two sat there together, the heavy dust of Teagan’s pain began to settle, the bleeding in her chest halted, and she managed to take in a deep breath. All she had were her wounds to wear like decorations on her heart, and she could see that the shrapnel from the impact of her mother’s appearance took more than one victim. In the wake of her suffering, Patricia found herself in the same state, wearing similar wounds. “You don’t have to hide,” Teagan muttered, pulling Patricia’s face toward her own, looking her in the eyes. They were both met with tear-stained faces. “It’s actually nice to not cry alone.” She laid a gentle kiss onto Patricia’s forehead, caressing her cheek, each move a whisper against her skin.

“I’ll be okay,” Teagan wanted it to be true, and really it was a fact she knew deep down. She had been okay before, and with Patricia, her partner, it all didn’t seem so scary. So powerful and sturdy like the best made boat that could traverse through the toughest of waves. She didn’t leak. ‘Less one counted the crying she was doing then. And Teagan knew she worried that she wasn’t being strong enough when she shed tears, but in that moment, she truly believed no one else could be stronger. She had to sit there and watch someone she cared about ache and experience loss all over again, silently. Life was a constant battle, and Teagan never wanted to let Patricia count her pride amongst the casualties.

She laid another kiss onto her partner’s cheek and traced careful patterns across her skin to soothe her. “I…” Teagan trailed off, unsure, “I lo–I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Damn it… you know just how to make me melt.” Patricia’s genuine chuckle sounded intermingled with the sound of quiet crying as the floodgates broke open, releasing what she’d previously tried to hold back. After Teagan’s kind words and gentle touch, she was unable to hold herself together. She was embarrassed, but it was only natural that she’d be upset having to watch her partner deal with losing her mom, somebody that clearly meant everything to her. “I know you’ll be okay. You’re tough as nails.”

Slowly, Patricia’s emotional release subsided, though she still hadn’t let go of Teagan or moved an inch. She felt soothed by her touch, so she returned to gently rubbing up and down her side affectionately in response, hoping to return the affection. When Teagan spoke, she turned her head to look into her eyes, a warm grin returning to her face, before she suddenly leaned down for a kiss. The silence of the car was broken for the time being, until the passionate embrace was broken off so Patricia could speak. “I love you too, goofball, and I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for coming on this date with me, even if it was a rollercoaster.”

The blood left Teagan’s face at Patricia’s words, taken aback by the declaration. She was too scared, too worried that she was never meant to be a part of anyone’s plan that she stopped herself from taking the leap. But based on the way Patricia had responded, she thought maybe leaping and not having enough power behind it still counted. After all, she understood, and she knew what Teagan had wanted to say. Before she touched on what the two shared though, she needed to reprimand her partner for being so reckless…once again. “Patty, we’ve talked about this. Countless times. I must release you again. Will you please just say you appreciate things instead? Goodness. I…I love a heedless wolf.” Teagan chuckled, leaving a trail of kisses up Patricia’s neck before she nipped at her ear, growing quiet as she laid her head against her shoulder with a swallow.

“Are you sure though? About loving me? I’m not…” She paused, furrowing her brows in worry as she thought of all the ways she’d never be good enough. How she’d never been good enough to begin with, so really, how could Teagan ever be good at all? “You can back out at any time. I’d understand.” As if to express her hope that she wouldn’t, she sank into Patricia and laid a gentle hand to her neck, dancing her fingers against her skin.

Red cheeks and a sheepish grin painted Patricia’s face at Teagan’s affectionate actions and words. She’d said what they were both thinking for a while, and she knew it. She may have been ‘heedless’ at times, but she was no fool. She’d felt her feelings begin to intensify as they spent more time with one another, and it wasn’t long after that realization that she came to know that Teagan’s feelings were progressing in a similar manner. She placed a long, soft kiss to the top of her head as she listened in silence, before using a hand to brush some of Teagan’s hair behind her ear.

“I normally don’t do or say things this serious without being sure. You are…” Patricia paused to think for a moment, selecting her words as artfully as she could. Teagan always spoke in such a soft, poetic way, one that always made her feel special. To her, it seemed like her partner needed and deserved to feel special, especially right now, during her moment of self-doubt. “-an awe-inspiring girlfriend, and by far the most unique, magnificent person I’ve had the pleasure to spend time with. I won’t be backing out, love. I’m all in.”

Patricia then put the car in drive, and started to drive home. Sure, in the current circumstances and position she was in, it was far from safe or road legal, but they managed to get to her house in a few minutes without seeing a single car on the way, so all was well. With Teagan’s company and affection, she felt truly safe in every sense of the word, and she hoped that her date felt the same way.

#Ready Now #Teagan #Patricia #tw: parental death #writings #interactions

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