A TOAST TO THE NEW YEAR -- GOBLETS OF WINE FROM THE HYBORIAN AGE.

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on promotional shots of Queen Taramis (portrayed by English actress Sarah Douglas), dark sorceress and primary antagonist of American epic sword & sorcery/fantasy film, "Conan the Destroyer" (1984), directed by Richard Fleischer.

EXTRA INFO: Taramis is the Queen of the City of Shadizar and a prime worshiper of the Dreaming God, Dagoth.

Costume design by John Bloomfield

Sources: https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Queen_Taramis, X, Pinterest, various, etc...

Conan the Destroyer from 1984, directed by Richard Fleischer, screenplay by Stanley Mann and story by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway.

Conan and his companion, Malak, are confronted by Queen Taramis of Shadizar, who tells Conan that she has a quest for him, promising to resurrect his lost love, Valeria. He is to escort the Queen's niece, Princess Jehnna, who is destined to restore the jeweled horn of the dreaming god Dagoth. The only problem is a magic gem, in the possession of Thoth-Amon, is the key to locating the horn, and the princess’s bodyguard is to kill Conan once he has obtained the jewel.

The ensemble cast with Arnold, Grace Jones, Wilt Chanberlain, Tracy Walter, and Mako do a great job, despite the movie being nominated for two Razzies. While a bit more comedic and cheesy than its predecessor, Conan the Destroyer stands on its own as a great sword and sorcery movie.

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Though Conan the Barbarian has presence and memorable moments, I wouldn't call it "a great film". It's the end-all-be-all of sword and sorcery stories compared to the sequel, however. Conan the Destroyer has none of the charms of its predecessor. This new adventure feels like a D&D campaign with Arnold Schwarzenegger thrown in the middle.

Set some time after the first story, Conan and his companion, a thief named Malak (Tracey Walter), are forcefully summoned by Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) to the city of Shadizar. The Queen will bring Conan's beloved Valeria back to life. In exchange, he must help the Queen’s niece, Princess Jehnna (Olivia d’Abo) as she retrieves a mystical key that will help bring the dreaming god Dagoth to their world.

The toning down of the violence, gore, and nudity is immediately noticeable. Conan the Barbarian isn’t just an “R” picture; it’s a heavy “R”. To go from crucifixions, topless women and buckets of gore to a “PG” rating, just to get more potential butts in the seats is a betrayal. What separates Schwarzenegger's brutal barbarian from the kinder, gentler imitators like He-Man or the Beastmaster are scenes where he decapitates his archenemy and throws his head down a flight of stairs for all to see. Without this, there's no reason to show up.

Instead of the badassness, we get a big pile of useless characters and a whole lotta unfunny humor. Conan assembles a team of allies you don't care about: the Wizard (Mako as Akiro), the Amazon (Grace Jones as Zula), and a paladin (Wilt Chamberlain as Bombaata). See what I mean about this feeling like a plot from Dungeons & Dragons? Along with the princess, the titular barbarian, and his buddy the thief there are simply too many characters. If at least they were integral to the plot. Thief Malak is a coward through-and-through that doesn’t even have any useful lock-picking skills or character development. The same applies to Zula. While I like the idea of a badass female warrior to add to the group, all she does is fight in a style that’s different from Conan’s.

This more kid-friendly picture attempts to make you laugh and never succeeds. Comic relief Malak (picking on him again) is essentially the dollar-bin version of Gerry Lopez's character from the first movie. Your dislike for him increases as you realize he's only there to repeat the same joke over and over. He’s a coward. I get it!

The picture picks up towards the end. There's a sequence with a big monster that's pretty cool. For the most part, it fails to grab your attention. The story is not engaging and with the performances being only slightly better than last time (at least Schwarzenegger is more convincing here), it desperately needed dynamic action scenes to make up for the lack of everything else. When you’ve got an ineffective wizard for an opponent and a lot of scenes where characters stick around frozen while the plot moves around them, I throw my hands in the air and give up.

Conan the Destroyer can’t even get Arnold punching a camel in the face right. It's a mix of disappointment and embarrassment that isn't even worthy of hatred. (On DVD, July 5, 2015)

Conan the Destroyer Playing on a Curtis Mathes Model K1370RW 16” Television from Glenn Edward Waters on Vimeo.

Conan the Destroyer Playing on a Curtis Mathes Model K1370RW 16” Television. Curtis Mathes Model K1370RW 16” Television with Remote, this was Damaged in shipping, I was able to get the cabinet put back together. Looks like they dropped it or something. Rugged, and tough, the vintage color TV was made in Japan. The VCR is Vintage Curtis Mathes VCR With Remote Model 731VHA Tested Made in Japan, it also was damaged in shipping, I just got it back from the repair shop ... The good news is the television still worked, amazingly, and the hard to find remote also worked with my larger Curtis Mathes console television from the same year. Made in Japan, Curtis Mathes, year1985. Conan and his companion, the thief Malak, are confronted by Queen Taramis of Shadizar, who tests their combat ability with several of her guards. Satisfied, she tells Conan that she has a quest for him. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan. #curtismathes #vintagetv #conan #conanthedestroyer #curtismathesK1370RW