Chapter Five Interlude - Previous // Chapter Six // Beginning

Mentioned from Fallen Angel:

Tomax does the unthinkable

So he was punished for it

Peso's journal

Something strange

It was a quiet night on the octopod everyone was a sleep expect for one. Peso sat in his room looking at a journal that he brought he been sitting there for hours looking at it. In this journal was this day-to-day thoughts and feelings and he sometimes draws in it too but recently he been having lot of trouble writing in it it’s not that he have nothing to write about he have lots, but this feeling was not he can’t understand it he can’t pin point this feeling. Was it worry, fear? he doesn't know but that the only reason why he refuse write in it started few weeks ago when these feeling started happening it was late last night, and Peso wasn’t feeling tired, so he decided to write into his journal but when he opened it and about to put the pen to the paper a feeling overcame him. He stopped looking at it like something was going to jump out at him after that night he been hesitant to write in it. He didn’t get this feeling when he brought the book well it was more like it gotten it for free it happened about months ago Captain had asked him dashi and kwazii to go to the surface to shop for some supplies for the octopod. They were all talking about what they should get for themselves after they finish shopping for the needed supplies when Peso spotted it a blue journal with a beautiful design on it. He stopped going into small store window looking at it his awe turn into sadness when an elderly female penguin came to the window and took the book he sighed. Thinking that some had brought it Dashi and Kwazii looked at him than Kwazii walked up to him “ya want it matey?" Kwazii asked with a raised bow peso nodded “but it looks like someone brought it” Kwazii looked at the door to see anyone was walking out no one did than he turns back to Peso “it looks like no one brought it because I don’t see anyone walking out. go on and get it peso!” “yeah, I don’t think the captain would not mind at all." Dashi said walking to where Peso and Kwazii was Peso hesitated but nodded walking into the store. Looking into the store it don’t look like it didn’t had much in it but it’s a hold different story when walking into it had some much clutter in it, he could barely walk though anything, but he was no a mission to look for that journal or the old lady penguin to ask about it "well hello dear."

Peso jumped turning quickly to be face the voice it was the elderly penguin he saw removing the journal she give a weak smile " oh h-hello um I am sorry, but I was wondering if I could get that book that was in the window easier?" Peso asked shyly the elderly penguin looked at Peso her brow furrowed than it clicked “oh dear hold on a sec dearies.” She turned and walked to the far side of the store “Mabel dear sister could you bring that book back down someone wants to buy it! She called Peso heard footsteps coming above him he turned to see other elderly penguin that looked the same as the one he was speaking to twins maybe. The elderly penguin named Mabel looked at her sister “someone wants the book? Who?” the first elderly penguin pointed to Peso Mabel turn to look at Peso she walked to him and handed him the book “here!” Peso took it “t-thank you…” she nodded she turn to walk away but she stopped and turned back to face Peso “this is a special book young man be sure to take care of it or you be like the others who brought it before you…” she continued her way back up the stairs. Peso looked confused what does she mean like the others? Did something bad happened to other people who brought the book? The elderly lady giggled Peso faced her worry in his eyes “oh my sister is such a kidder! She was joking dear.” Peso nodded looking at the book " how much do I own you?" Peso asked taking out his wallet the elderly penguin held up her flipper peso looked at her confused " no money all I asked if you talk care of it."

Peso smiled thanking the elderly penguin and walking to the front of the store he turned back the elderly penguin waving Peso waved back exiting the store.

Now a month later and he still can’t write in it! Peso was now getting frustrated it was just a book! There nothing wrong with it! Getting up walking to his desk he opened it pulling out his pen the feeling came back but it was strong Peso had to keep himself from shaking as he wrote in it. He took a long deep breath the feeling had went away from a few minute which was long shaking his head he looked at the book nothing was happening he nodded yawning getting up from the deck he walked to his bed not even bothering to close the book he got into bed and went to sleep as he slept the pages of the book slowly started to turn it self as if someone or something was reading it…

Now Peso was fully freaking out when he woke up this morning, he did his normal routine play on his xylophone, taking off his sleeping hat, doing his hair, making up his bed and getting ready for the day. he was humming to himself when his eyes landed on the book it was only for a second, but it was enough to see what was on its Peso slowly walked closer to his deck he has to be going crazy, but the writing was there as pure as day… someone or something had wrote in his book as he slept, he read the word ‘I am so glad you wrote to me again. Peso I was starting to get worried… please write more today I love it when you talk about the missions you go on…’ then he screamed.

“please Kwazii tell me you know who to get rid of it?!” Peso bagged Kwazii looked at Peso with an apologetic look “I am so sorry matey I don’t know anything about getting rid of curse object. I never been near one. Or my grandfather he knew a guy that had a curse map that would lead a poor sailor to their deaths.”

“does he ever see the guy again?” Peso said hopefully but it died when Kwazii shook his head.

“he saw again but not in one piece though he was skinned, and his body turned into that map. And my grandfather just nope out and left the damn thing there. He didn’t even tell me what island he found it at.”

“voy a morir!”

“you’re not going to die Peso you’re over reacting.”

“than what should I do?!”

Kwazii shrugged “have you tried talking to it?”

“no??”

“than talk to it?” with that kwazii left leaving a distraught Peso behind

Peso was in his room taking deep breaths he was panicking a little bit okay maybe not a little bit but a lot. He decided to follow Kwazii advice and just talk to the book maybe he wouldn’t die in the next five minutes! He walked over to his deck and sit down in his chair pick up his pen and wrote in it ‘hello you seen to already know my name so… what is your name?’ Peso pulled the pen back as he did words started showing up ‘name? I really don’t remember my own name, but you can give me one… if you want to?”

Peso looked at the words a name? give it a name he had no idea what to give it maybe… ‘how about Adelina?’ Peso waited for about a second when ‘Adelina’ wrote back ‘oh I love that name Adelina it sounds beautiful!’

Peso sighed ‘glad you like it!’ Peso and Adelina talked throughout the day it really wasn’t much to talk about they didn’t have any mission today he talked about his friends ‘can I see them? Your friends I mean…’ Peso blinked than wrote ‘I can draw them if you like…’ ‘yes please!’ with that Peso started to draw his friends ‘you have a lots of friends’ ‘yeah they’re all great! I love them.’ Peso looked up and didn’t realized it was night time ‘I have to go to bed now night Adelina!’ ‘oh, good night Peso see you in the morning…’

With that Peso got ready for bed when his head hit the pillow, he didn’t realized how tired he was he yawned closing his eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

The book laid opened the pages slowly turned it stopped on one page where there a portrait drawing of a bunny your hair was coving one of her eyes and she wasn’t smiling.

done with chapter one of Peso's Journal hope ya like it next would be a drawing for this stay tone for that!

proofread and made some changes feedback is always needed!

translation: voy a morir-I'm going to die

box of memories - nicky/lorna

an angsty post series one shot (1500+ words), also on ao3

what i imagine could happen to lorna and nicky if they don’t end up together - somewhat of a what not to do for the writers

Lorna promises herself that when she gets out, she will lock Nicky up in a box in her mind and let it sit on one of the very back selves, gathering dust. The box will get lost so that she can’t even find it anymore, can’t open it up or pull things out of it. It will be easy, things often get lost in the corners and traps of her mind, especially when she wants them to. And it almost works.

Lorna is scheduled to be released six months before Nicky. On her last day she clings to Nicky, kissing her heatedly on the mouth despite the guard that stands watching, trying to suck out all the bits of Nicky, the wild hair that she loved to run her fingers through as Nicky made love to her (here, right now, she can admit that what they have--had was so much more than sex), the tattoos that she loved to pay special attention to when she kissed her body, the rough voice, and the sense of peace and comfort and truth that only Nicky can give her. She breathes deep, inhaling all she can. This is her last chance.

They don’t promise each other anything. Their lips part and they gaze into each other’s eyes for just a moment. Lorna whispers, “...Nicky,” one last time. Then Lorna is walking towards and out the front door, towards freedom and happiness and her perfect life. Nicky has probably gone off to cry in the shower or pummel her mattress or—no, Lorna isn’t thinking about her. She lives in the box, remember?

As soon as the door shuts behind her, Lorna reaches up to wipe away a single, mysterious tear that has escaped—because why would she be crying?--and lets a smile spread across her face. She runs towards her new husband, who picks her up and twirls her around, making her hair fly.

*

She has her baby, a beautiful brunette girl she names Adelina Nicole Morello-Muccio. She doesn’t think about why she chooses that name, she just does. She goes back to trusting her feelings and trying to figure it out later (or never). Vinnie approves of her choice; he lets her have her way most of the time. He just wants her to be happy.

Lorna spends her time trying to tidy up their apartment (and usually ending up watching her soaps instead), actually tidying, and caring for and playing games with her daughter. Her beautiful daughter, who she loves more than anything. The way she giggles when they play peekaboo warms her heart with the kind of motherly love she’d only dreamed about until now.

But besides her daughter, Lorna sometimes feels like she’s in a rut. The vacuuming, the diaper changing, the ordering takeout—it all becomes a rhythm, a routine. Much like the one she had in prison, actually, but this time it’s different. She doesn’t have the thing...the person who could light a spark in her, a flame, who could wake her up, make her feel things, make her see the routine for what it is. Lorna thinks all these things, until she remembers that she’s happy. She feels ungrateful when she has these unwanted thoughts. Few people are lucky enough to win the lottery in life, and Lorna has. Still, without the fire, Lorna lets herself retreat into the fog.

*

They have another kid, a baby boy. They name him Vince Jr.. He was born weighing only five pounds, but he’s happy and healthy now. Adelina is seven.

Lorna spends a lot of time in front of the television. The soaps, with their sweeping romances and high drama, have accompanied her through the years. She still cleans, but dust has crept up in a few of the corners. She makes sure to play with her children whenever they all have free time—Adelina is in school now, and Lorna misses her during those hours every day. She cried when she first dropped her off. When she’s with her children the fog is less thick, her mind more clear.

As hard as she tries, sometimes things still remind her of Ni—of prison. Wild haired women on the street. Cigarette smoke, crude jokes. When Lorna laughs at a silly commercial on TV or bird fluttering on a tree outside her window, her mind flashes to Nicky. Happiness reminds her of Nicky.

Sometimes she lies in bed crying, and she knows why she’s crying and what she wants, she knows who and what would make her feel better, but it’s so far away now, a distant memory. Was she ever really that calm, that content? Surely not, another delusion. It’s impossible for Lorna to feel that way.

A few times Lorna could have sworn that Nicky was there while Vinnie was fucking her, that she just replaced him. It felt so real. Each time she feels more right than she has in a long, long time.

Sometimes she wants to reach out, maybe call, just to check on how everyone she knew in there is doing, but it’s been so long and she would feel awkward, so she doesn’t.

So she imagines taking the secret box out of it’s hiding spot and burning it. Because she knows, with a flash of clarity, that if she lets it out that box of memories could send this house of cards she’s built crashing down around her.

Vinnie worries about her. He asks if she’s happy, does she want something, is there something he can do for her? Is there something she’s not telling him? Lorna smiles and says, “Of course not, husband,” and gives him a kiss.

He’s confused, but a good man, and frustrated that he can’t help. He tries to come home from work immediately to be with her, but sometimes he sits in a bar and drinks a few drinks, and tries not to think about what’s wrong with his wife.

Franny visits, when she can take time to ride the subway twenty minutes out of her way. Her brow crinkles and not for the first time she brings up doctors and medicine. Lorna nods along. She doesn’t tell them that she can’t get her real medicine. She never told them about any of it. Why can’t she ever tell the truth?

*

Sometimes Lorna thinks she hears the phone ringing, but people tell her that it’s not. Sometimes she picks it up and no one’s there. Occasionally it’s someone from the local library, wanting the kid’s books back. It’s never who she wants it to be.

One day Lorna comes home loaded down with groceries to find a letter sitting alone on the counter, waiting for her. It’s addressed to Miss Lorna Morello-Muccio from Galina Rez...Red. Lorna drops the groceries on the ground and bounds over to the counter. She grabs the crisp white envelope and rips it open. She starts to read, certain sentences catching her eyes.

Nicky….in the hospital again…misses you…why didn’t you answer our calls? Here’s the address...come visit you owe it to me little girl. Remember that lipstick I got you, huh? Every two weeks for years...She needs you...Don’t tell her I said that though....

Lorna stifles a gasp and stiffens, the letter crumpling slightly in her shaking hand. Tears brim to the edges of her eyes and spill over. Is this real?

No, no, no, it can’t be. Nicky wouldn’t...she’s fine now. This is just Lorna’s mind coming up with an excuse for her to have to see Nicky.

Lorna crunches up the letter, and brushes her tears away. She’s not going to get caught up in a fantasy again.

But that night Lorna ponders the possibility that maybe the letter was real, and she cries. She cries for her husband, who deserves a whole person to love him. She cries for her children, who have to see her sad more often than they ever should. She cries for her sister, who loves her, and who isn’t enough to make a difference all on her own. And most of all she cries for herself and for Nicky, two people who know what they’re doing to themselves god damn it, but they can’t seem to fucking stop. Two self destructive messes running on parallel tracks instead of the same, too afraid to ever try for more, determined to keep going until they run out of steam and the boiler explodes.

Lorna hugs a pillow, and she cries and cries and cries.

*

The next morning she burns the letter. (Real? An artifact from a particular fantasy? She doesn’t know, and she’s not asking anymore.) She goes to make Vinnie his eggs and toast, and smiles when he kisses her on the cheek.

It’s too much, real or fake, and she won’t do anything to break her world apart. If it’s fake than better to ignore it. If it’s real she can’t give in. She can’t see her, she can’t hear her voice. The regret of eight years lost and wasted and too many mistakes made to fix would destroy her. So she locks the box up one last time and throws away the key.

Calmly floating on the surface of denial was always better than plunging into the heartbreaking reality anyway. The fog’s familiar softness embraces her, it’s tendrils wrapping around every inch of her and drawing her in deep.

Midnight Star, by Marie Lu

Read review on Goodreads

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

For the super non-spoilery people: This is the third and final book in the series, and it isn't a disappointment. Definitely better than The Rose Society. The book was a fast read, and if I definitely could have finished it in one sitting if I didn't have other things on my hands. 4.3 stars for the finale. For the non-spoilery people: The characters were better, the plot line was better, everything in this book was better. I love how fast-paced it was, and I think that it wrapped up the story wonderfully. I'm so glad it was better than The Rose Society. If you're debating reading this, I say go for it. To me, it's worth it.

For the spoilery people:

At the very beginning, we get a nice view of how heartless Adelina is, and how she finds fun in other people's pain. I love reading from her point of view because it's something I don't see very often in the other books I read. It's as if we're reading from the villain's point of view, but at the same time, she's still our protagonist. I love this. I also love how she seemingly didn't think anything towards Magiano. I'm not a romance person, and if anything, I'd only be able to handle them being close friends. She's on the hunt for Violetta while conquering new lands, and I think that's an interesting way to do it. She's showing her power while also doing what her main goal is. Magiano and Adelina have a conversation about everything Adelina's done, and this conversation is meant for the readers to see everything that has happened in the last year, and how ruthless Adelina has become. I found it interesting how Magiano never said anything about Adelina falling from power. In fact, she was doing fine. Sure, she had a few rebellious inquisitors here and there, and a few people that shot at her from rooftops, but she wasn't falling from power. So often we start a story at someone's fall from power. This difference is fantastic. I'd also like to add that during a Raffaele chapter, there is a point when someone says that Adelina's inquisitors are holding strong. I also thought that was a nice touch because it shows that we're not reading about a fall from power. We're reading about something else--some other story. One thing I had to wonder throughout this series was what does having a missing eye do to everything around it? Do the tear ducts still work? What does her eyelid look like since there's nothing round underneath it? Can she still blink with it? Does it only stay closed? Some of these may have been answered by The Young Elites, but it's been a few years since I read it. Of course, we learn that Adelina's eye was taken out via red, hot knife, so that could have damaged surrounding parts, like the tear duct. She does mention in the beginning she only cries with one eye, but in the end, every time she cries, it sounds like her tears are on both sides of her face. If someone could correct me on this, that would be great. My notes say "Looking for Enzo and I'm disappointed." If I'm being honest, I don't remember that. I also mention that she took Magiano's advice about treating the citizens a little kinder, and she takes the advice and uses it. While this is beneficial, I kind of liked how storm-like she was, and that kind of disappointed me, too. So, in the very early stages of writing The Young Elites, Adelina was the antagonist. Every written out assassination tempt we saw, there was a small part of me wondering if that was a shout out to the original main character. I know it may not be, since the assassination attempts are just the way of painting a picture, but I have to wonder. Violetta's relationship with the daggers, especially Raffaele, never clicked with me. I understand how and why she sought them out, but everyone seemed to love her. Raffaele was truly upset as Violetta began to die. He was upset when she did die. Their relationship grew off the page, and I wish we got a little bit of that, because it was sort of weird to read. I'd like to point out that the switch from first to third person takes me out of the book every time it happens. I have to readjust myself. I'm also not that big of a fan of Maeve's chapters. They're necessary, but they also seem like they're thrown in just for the necessity. She wasn't exactly a main character until every scene she needed to be, and then she got tossed away again. One of my favourite moments in this book is when Adelina is walking through her city, and there are two unmarked people talking about her reign, and she says, "Careful, she's always watching." She scares them to pieces, and I love it. I can't express how fantastic I thought that scene was. I'm going to take this moment to briefly talk about Adelina and Violetta's relationship. Every time Adelina has a breakdown, she starts screaming for Violetta. Despite everything, she still wants Violetta by her side, either to make sure she's alright, or because she knows she can help calm her down. I mention this now because this is when we start seeing Adelina's breakdowns in the book. Now we're in Raffaele's point of view, and we're talking about the alignments. I thought their purpose in the book was done wonderfully. We were introduced to them in The Young Elites, we built on it in The Rose Society, and now we're putting them to use. It didn't feel rushed or convenient, it felt natural. I felt the same way about Teren. He wasn't a character just so that we could have that last needed alignment. His part in the story also felt natural. "Why are we doing this, anyway? To preserve me own life, and yours--but what has the world every done for us in order to deserve our sacrifice?" -Page 207, hardback I think this is a very interesting moment. A lot of protagonists save the world to save the world. They know they're doing something right. They care that the world and its people live, no matter what those people are. Adelina is different. We've been through two and a half books, and she still thinks only about herself and people close to her, and it still works. She's still angry at everyone, she's still angry at the world. She continues on for herself, which I can view as a good thing, if we say that everyone's first priority should be themselves. I love how consistent Adelina's personality is. I mentioned in my non-spoilery reviews that this book was fast-paced. It really is. It feels like one big scene, or one big ride. There aren't breaks or stops. We don't slow down. It just keeps going. It's nice. It keeps me wanting to read the book without getting bored. The big point in this book is that all Elites are dying due to their own power. The book sets this up as if it's a power usage problem. The more of your powers you use, the faster you die. However, Adelina didn't start using her powers until a couple/few years ago, where everyone else started using them sooner, to my knowledge. It seems like Adelina's death-ness should be coming later than everyone else's. When I was thinking about this, I supposed that death started the minute you gained your powers from the Blood Fever. Since everyone had the Blood Fever around the same time, it makes sense for everyone to be dying at the same time. However, I felt as if the book did not set it up this way. Shout-out to how far we are in the book, and Adelina's still ruthless. Still loving it. When Violetta died, a few things ran through my mind. The first was the obvious: they didn't have the alignments to cover her. I kept reading, and Adelina attacked Teren. My second thought: Wow, these are her true feelings towards him, and it makes sense. Then Adelina has a breakdown. My third thought: This is a moment of weakness for Adelina. Maybe the others will be kinder. Then they have a funeral for her, and Adelina points out that they turned the rocks in the direction of their homeland. First, this makes it sound like the rocks are arrow-shaped, and I have a hard time believing there are that many arrow-shaped rocks. Second, I'd like to know how they knew which direction their homeland was. Lastly, Adelina cuts off a lock of Violetta's hair, and immediately I thought that that would be what got them through to the other realm. If they still have Violetta's DNA, they could get through, right? Maybe? That's what I predicted, anyway. Turns out that wasn't right. Now they're fighting those snow-realm shadow monsters, and my only thoughts are about Lucent. How has she now broken or twisted a bone yet? She's got to be so frail by now. When Adelina's talking to Moritas, Moritas says that she and the rest of the Elites need to give up their powers. It's what they were expecting. It's what we were expecting. Everyone came into this realm knowing what was going to happen. And at first, Adelina vocally said no. I found that interesting. I feel like a lot of protagonists would have an internal monologue to themselves, readying themselves, and then say, "Okay. I am ready." Instead, Adelina says no, looks to Violetta, and decides that the only reason she'd give up her powers is for her. When Violetta doesn't come back, I was excited. So many books have to find ways for everyone to make it out alive. It's more realistic to have deaths, in my opinion. Adelina decides to trade places with her, and I was okay with that, too. There was still a major death, and it was even better that it was the main character. Main characters almost never die. This was a great moment in the book for me. We get this beautifully written, emotional scene between Adelina and Violetta, where you can feel what they're feeling, and that was the moment in the book where I decided that everyone who starts this series needs to end this series, because that moment made it worth it for me. Violetta made it so Adelina was in the stars. That's cool, that's neat. I can accept that. Until she says that that way, they might get to see her again. I'm glad Adelina didn't come back full-blast, but I was disappointed that she didn't stay fully dead. I think that would have been better. Especially in the end when Magiano talks to Violetta about travelling and coming back with Adelina. I'd also like to mention that I appreciate the different feel to Violetta's first-person to Adelina's first-person. Adelina was hard, and Violetta was soft. The difference was there, but I feel as if more could be done to it. And the last thing I want to talk about is Magiano and Adelina's relationship. I'm definitely okay with how it ended. They weren't lovers during the story, and if I wanted to, I could imagine that they were close best friends. Towards the end, while Adelina's dying, she wants Violetta to tell Magiano she loves him. That could still be totally platonic. I love how everything was played out there. I was setting myself up for disappointment, and there was never a moment where I had to be disappointed because of their relationship. 4.3 stars. A fantastic finale.