Ok so this is another gravity falls au

In this au it takes place in bills old dimension. Tad, kill, will, bill, and maybe Jill are siblings ( if you want you can't imagine tad being the cousin) also the age kinda matters depends. Tad is the oldest then kill, after kill is Bill then will a few minutes after(twins) and finally Jill but Jill acts more mature than her age. So tad since he is the oldest and smart he helps his parents kill is also older than the rest and has anger issues. Jill is the youngest and only girl in the family so she gets decent amount of attention from her parents while will is extroverted(your social bar is filler by being around people but you don't have to be super social and out going to be a extrovert. Think of having 0 coins but when you socialize with people you gain coins while being a introvert you start will coins and lose them when you socialize. Will still has a less outgoing, awkward personality.) So his parents pay him attention cause they don't want him to be depressed cause his social bar(happy bar?) Is empty but they don't want him to also interact awhole lot and have a panic attack. For bill he doesn't get that much attention though cause he isn't the oldest(most mature) and he doesn't have any problems (everybody doesn't think he does but he just hides it) Bill is attention starved and when he gets a tastes of being in charged maybe he formed a group or took over a small world so this leads to him forming a plan and attempting the take over of his world but during the process he destroys it. Since this was an accident and didn't mean it to turn out the way he fled and decided to act like he did it on purpose and take over other dimensions/worlds and form friends/allies. After multiple times taking over worlds successfully he lost most of his sanity and tried taking over dippers world(in this au Bill did meet Ford and Ford still hates bill but not as much cause he knew bill just lacked a parental figure and was attention starved. Basically Ford saw bill as maybe his own kid or something similar to that even though bill is still old at least in human years in demon years he is around teenage/young adult age) most suff that happened in the show happened in this au. So that means weirdmeggadon(is that how you spell it?) Happened and bill got kinda killed. His magic got really low so he stayed in axolotl's dimension until he got his memory back, a good bit of his power and woke up(?) He lost so much magic he didn't have a conscious. After he left he visited a place that was just a void that barely anybody went to so he could regain more magic. Finally he started making deals to regain even more magic and during him regaining magic he got bigger closer to his original size.(he was about the size of a ant when he was in axolotl's dimension. After a few thousand years(unless whoever is reading wants some billdip then I guess it could be a lot shorter or imr being different where he is) Then bill comes into contact with his family(parents died) obviously the family won't be very happy to see bill..The family heard of bills journey and maybe saw a few glimpses of him. While bill lost a lot of his magic and consciousness and had to remake one( restart his brain but still with his memories?) He got back most of his sanity so he felt a lot of guilt and sadness for destroying his dimension and killing his parents and other demons. But he still had his memories and was upset, angry, confused, and disappointed for having theses emotions. He then tries to fight but quickly realizes he is to weak and tries to flee but got knocked out or got captured and gave up for the time being and went into his mind/dreamscape. He then woke up or came to when he was placed in a demon cage. The film film start asking him questions and yelling at him. Stuff happen and then they start forming a relationship that is stronger than their old relationship since they never interacted with Bill. Oh also two last things they apologize for ignoring him and it's up to you if you want to imagine them as a human or shape firm. I'm imagining them as both shape

and human at different times.

I've finally finished the first set! It's the same kids again tho, lol. But next time will be never before seen characters! So I wanted to get everyone drawn in the Omniverse style so I could visualize it all properly and it also made for a good opportunity to tweak designs as needed. They're all heavily referenced from official art so I could get it perfect and it made for great practice too! Of course I added some personal touches to the art style too cuz if I didn't it would have bothered me too much, lol.

Anyway, below the cut are finally proper profiles for all the kids and some additional info as well!

M'kay, so before we get started on the kids' bios, it's important to specify this is an alternate universe. And I don't mean it's an AU of the Prime Dimension. This is quite literally another universe within the omniverse. It's a mostly untouched one that even Paradox, Eon, and Maltruant have never been to and therefore a lot of things are different while a lot of things are still the same tho. It's unofficially called the Feniverse cuz Fen is the main character, but it does have a more official name. I'm just, uh… not aware of what that name is yet, lol!

Anyway, the Ben in this dimension branches off from the development of Prime Ben. Anybody remember the fact that the very first Ben 10K episode said Ben became the way he did in the future cuz he killed Vilgax by ripping him to pieces? Yep! That's what this Ben did too! But obviously he doesn't end up exactly like that Ben 10K. But so this dimension's Ben is therefore officially labelled Slayer Ben since some people refer to him as 'The Vilgax Slayer'. And that experience did definitely screw him up pretty bad, which is why he's so different from both Prime and 10K.

So from left to right:

Name: Fenrick Fih Rook-Tennyson

Age: 13

Height: 5'1

Voice: Todd Haberkorn

Bio: Fen is Ben and Rook's son. He has always been known for being quiet, surprisingly wise for his age, and quite the troublemaker. In actuality, only two of these things are true. Fen is more calm than he seems and as a young child he wasn't much of a talker, giving people the perception that he's quiet. Unfortunately, Fen also has many great ideas that end up badly. However, his ideas always come from the desire to help someone or solve a problem, but he always gets caught when his plans fall apart, making it look like he causes trouble. Some people even accuse him of trouble he didn't start, not helping his reputation. And as the son of Ben 10 of all people, he tends to be held to higher expectations. His wisdom never ceases to amaze people either. Even Ben and Rook get surprised at the wisdom he recites, wondering where exactly he learned it all. Due to that, he tends to put up a fight whenever himself or someone else gets wronged. He especially defends his friends and fellow alien kids in town. Although his only true friends seem to consist of his childhood friend, Millie, and his cousin, Sven.

At the age of 13, Fen discovered his ability to transform into a couple dozen of Ben's aliens. He quickly aspired to become a hero like his parents, much to Ben's disapproval, who worries about his safety. Despite that, Fen wants to form a hero trio with Sven and Millie and become the next generation of heroes in the galaxy.

Developer's Notes:

Fen's almost always been the same since I first created him, with just a few design and character tweaks done to him. He used to have a talent for jewelry making but that was switched out for him being wise for his age. He was also a bit more generic as far as the upbeat and reckless young male protagonist with famous parents archetype goes, but he's been adjusted enough that he now stands out from that archetype. Or, at least I hope, lol. Also, funny thing to note, Fenrick is not a real name! The closest name there is is Fenwick and iirc, that's a last name! I considered changing it to Fenwick or even Fenick but Fenrick is too special to me. His, uh, unfortunate name even has an impact in-universe with him being embarrassed by it and some using it to make fun of him. Also in-universe, I chalk it up to Ben having a dumb moment by misremembering the name Fenwick and Rook not knowing any better to catch Ben's mistake. Also, if you think his hair style is stupid, good. That's the point. He wanted it like that when he was seven and Ben and Rook were like 'sure' and it's been like that ever since.

Name: Millicent

Age: 13

Height: 5'0

Voice: Jennifer Paz

Bio: Millie is Ester's daughter. Her biological father is a human who decided he didn't want to be a father and Antonio soon stepped up to fill the father role when he and Ester got married. She has been friends with Fen and Sven since they were all babies. Millie is the level-headed one of the group and has been noted as being oddly emotionless. Her tone of voice is almost always flat and she usually keeps a straight face when not looking nervous. She never intends to be rude, but she will bluntly say whatever comes to her mind to her peers. At the same time, she can be nervous about making bold decisions and hates being a part of any decision making. She either refuses to do anything, or apologizes profusely for making a decision even when nothing bad happens.

Due to being more human than Kraaho, Millie is perfectly capable of handling the temperatures of Bellwood. However, she is still a bit sensitive to cold temperatures and needs to bundle up more than others during the winter. She sadly cannot handle the heat in the Hot Spot for very long either. Much to Millie's dismay, she was not born with the Kraaho's stretching ability. No one can figure out why, but it's simply something she can't do. As a result, she considers herself a normal human and has resigned herself to the fact that 'normal' is simply all she will ever be. Despite this, she has taken up quite a big secret that contradicts her decision and expresses who she wishes she really was.

Developer's Notes:

Millie only ever had one design change with her outfit and slight adjustment to the way her hair works and she's been the same ever since. Since the beginning she was always calm and stoic and I've always worried that she doesn't have much of a presence or purpose, but now I feel like she plays off Fen and Sven well enough that she stands out thanks to them. I've always flipped back and forth between Fen and/or Millie having a crush on each other, but I've finally settled on them both just seeing each other as near and dear loyal friends. It ultimately works out better that way and doesn't cause conflict with Millie's personal story or Fen's real love interest(and the one other character with feelings for him). Her name also used to be Mina, but since I've now taken that as one of my own names, it felt really awkward to keep her as that. I used to have a habit of naming characters with names I wanted before realizing I could change my name in the future, lol.

Name: Sven Elijah Levin

Age: 12

Height: 4'8

Voice: Wally Wingert

Bio: Sven is Gwendolyn and Kevin's son and Jenny's older brother. Sven is a rather unfortunate boy. He is constantly terrified of everything to the point of running millions of 'bad ends' through his head. He can barely talk most of the time without being a stuttering mess and always thinks he's going to be in trouble for anything and everything he does. Everyone is certain he either has severe anxiety or paranoia, or likely both. Perhaps even more. Who knows. Sven tends to cling to his cousin, Fen, who he looks to for guidance and advice, most of which isn't anything Sven should actually be following. Because he is a grade below Fen and Millie, he's often left alone to deal with problems in his own classes, or really just panic about them. He does, however, have a close relationship with Zed and likes to be the one to take her out on walks in the afternoon. And not many people know it, but he's actually a pretty decent artist.

Even though he is an Osmosian thanks to being Kevin's son, no one knows what ability he may have. It doesn't really matter though, since he wants to stay out of any potential trouble that having powers could bring him. Regardless of that, he has an interest in magic thanks to Gwendolyn's expertise in it. He even sneaks peeks at her spellbook and the strange bag she keeps in her office that he can hear a voice coming from at night.

Developer's Notes:

Now Sven is a character whose personality has always been pretty much the same while his design was never consistent until reaching his current one. He was originally very anime looking and in a gaudy orange outfit that I regret even thinking about, lol. He looks much better in neutral colors. I guess there's not much to say on him though, which makes me worry he's a tad unremarkable, but perhaps it's just since I'm leaving out the things about him that are better left discovering on your own… if I ever get to finishing that fic that is… ahaha.

Name: Saki Boulais

Age: 13

Height: 4'11

Voice: Stephanie Sheh

Bio: Julie and Hervé's daughter, one of the more popular girls in school, and the most deceptive in town. Saki has gone her whole life, since the first time she told a successful lie, tricking people into thinking she's a completely innocent little girl who's never done anything wrong. This allows her to get away with anything she wants, and she especially enjoys getting Fen in trouble when they butt heads with each other. The two have even been enemies since they first met at age three and Saki pulled Fen's tail, he pulled her hair in return, and she managed to get away with claiming he started it. Their feud has even turned into murderous intent, which Saki refuses to hide.

On a lighter note, Saki always has the company of her two best friends, Rachel and Diane, who will gladly join her in her tormenting of others. Saki even greatly admires the most popular girl in school, Fiona, and whoever the mysterious new hero girl, Miracle-M, is.

Developer's Notes:

Yes, Saki was always meant to be That Bitch in the cast. I feel like it's unrealistic to have all next gen kids be friends and get along with each other. It's perfectly believable to have some of them dislike, and in Saki and Fen's case, even hate each other. It makes it more interesting with them being Ben and Julie's kids respectively too. Adds good drama, lol. But anyway, really the only thing that's changed about Saki is her hairstyle and some other slight design tweaks like her necklace, shorts, and shoes. I also just recently changed her colors from purple and blue-ish purple to just blue so that isn't not all three girls here wearing purple. She also looks better in blue and it contrasts nicely with Julie's pink imo. I suppose I do worry about her being disliked since she's so antagonistic and with her being Julie's daughter, I really hope her character doesn't send the wrong message since I genuinely love Julie a lot. It really is just For The Drama Of It All. I think it's really fun to watch her go into full 'Murder Fen' mode too. Very fun to write, lol. Oh right, also Boulais is my headcanon last name for Herve. I just wanted her to have his last name but he doesn’t have one! So I had to pick one for myself.

Name: Jennifer Elizabeth Levin

Age: 10

Height: 4'6

Voice: Brina Palencia

Bio: Jenny is Gwendolyn and Kevin's daughter and Sven's younger sister. She is surprisingly serious and stoic for her age. She gets annoyed by her family's constant 'abnormal' status and wishes everyone could just act normal with no weird events happening. She throws herself into school work as a means to keep herself out of it and tries to keep her personal life at school with friends far away from her life involving family. She seems to have a quick temper, but really she just acts that way to get what she wants since she knows it works and in the hopes that she can use it as an opportunity to vent her frustrations. She hates getting involved in her brother and cousin Fen's antics, but sometimes her no nonsense attitude is needed to resolve a situation. She has a strange obsession with eating bread, finding it the perfect food and almost always exclusively eating something with bread involved. Gwendolyn definitely worries about her diet, but Kevin finds it harmless.

She may not have the spark like her mother, but she doesn't dare confess that her status as an Osmosian became very apparent just recently. As a result, she has a stash of broken objects stuffed under her bed and cracked floorboards that she covers with her rug.

Developer's Notes:

Jenny went through a decent redesign. Character wise I feel like I still don't have some things etched in stone for her as I still haven't gotten to the point in my writing where she does anything of interest. She could honestly probably end up pretty different from her bio here if I'm not careful, lol. The characters write themselves as they say after all! But I definitely prefer the newer Jenny compared to the previous way I envisioned her character, which was designed to fit a character type I actually hate just cuz I felt it worked for her. Thankfully I can avoid it tho with the big overhaul I did after returning to these characters. And I do like Jenny cuz I like writing her dialogue, but it still feels like her character is still that of a person I would not wanna be around, lol.

Name: Bevel Tennyson

Age: 20

Height: 5'9

Voice: Dee Bradley Baker/Yuri Lowenthal

Bio: Bevel is the youngest of the Big Chill offspring born twenty years ago. They were in an accident involving a passing spaceship on their way to Kylmyys that damaged their right wing to the point they could no longer fly. It's suspected the wing has severe nerve damage, making Bevel unable to unfold it as well. Their siblings helped them make it the rest of the way to Kylmyys, but over the years, the dangers of Kylmyys left the siblings with only Bevel and the eldest two, Emboss and Curve, remaining. As they got older, Bevel could never forget their only memory of their parent, who the others didn't remember. A desire to reunite with their parent caused Bevel to make the lone decision to explore the universe in search of their parent.

Bevel is a very cheerful and sweet person, but their secluded upbringing and lack of knowledge about Earth makes them very naive. They will believe anything they are told and have a very black and white moral view due to not understanding nuance. They have strange habits that appear unnatural in their attempt to act human and have an intense craving for Earth candy. They have also taken up being a mercenary to get by after leaving Kylmyys and once they join the Tennyson family, Rook suggests they use the skills they've picked up to become a Plumber, but that's an idea Ben isn't fully onboard with.

Developer's Notes:

Right off the bat I want to shout out that his old human design used to keep the Necrofriggian antennae. I still think it's a cute design even tho it wasn't canon compliant with the antennae. The only things that have changed about him too are just that, his hair style, and his shoes. Plus I stuck bunny ears on his hoodie recently as a shout out to those antennae he used to have. Otherwise he's always been the same. And I guess I haven't explained why he has a human form, but that's also an answer to discover later. I didn't draw his Necrofriggian form tho cuz we should all know what the UAF design looks like(and yes I am screwing with art style difference bullshit cuz OV Big Chill is not real and you cannot convince me otherwise). And I also just realized his pronouns aren't matching up in this section so I should add his official pronouns are he/they, but characters refer to him by he/him and narration uses they/them. He is still a Necrofriggian and therefore doesn't do the whole gender thing after all. Which is why he's fine with anyone viewing him as whatever they want to too. He just goes with it. That's also why he doesn't get what's weird about him calling Ben 'Mother' after he learned the word, lol.

If you dont mind, I'm gonna spam you guys with Hakuryuu requests, I just love that boy so much I'm sorry >.

 asklhasdhf, forgive me! I was trying to write for this for so long but couldn’t fine the brain cells needed to write xS Hope you enjoy it.

Time was a very odd thing to consider. Never did you think that it would bring you to where you are now, that’s for sure.

You had known Hakuryuu the whole of his life. You knew him as the third prince of Kou before the fire that almost took his whole family. You were that constant person with him that helped him get through after his uncle and cousins took the place his father and brothers had. You had known his hatred for his mother—something he had confided in you—and how he wanted nothing more than to avenge his family. You had never been in agreement on that matter. Though you wanted her to pay for her part in the fires, you didn’t want hatred to fill his heart.

Hatred you couldn’t hope to cure. Not with the precious little thing that was growing inside of you—the little bit that grew out of the love you had for him and one that you hoped he still had for you. But in this frenzy and with Judar by his side with both anger and hatred corroding him, you didn’t know what to do. You just knew that staying wasn’t an option. 

So you left. It turned out to be the hardest decision you ever made. You didn’t leave a note, nor did you bother talking. He wasn’t the Hakuryuu you knew anymore. You could only hope that the precious boy and caring man you came to know would surface once he realized how what he was doing would only hurt one person.

You escaped to Kina before the civil war engulfed everything, hiding from were you originated rather easily. The island was quite friendly. King Takeruhiko was kind to you as well despite you being pretty sure that he figured out you were from Kou the instant he laid eyes on you. He didn’t bother asking questions. He instructed his people to give you a warm welcome; you supposed that as part of the Seven Seas Alliance, they were honor bound to take in refugees too. 

It was after you settled into your new home that would eventually house two that you heard from the Kinans about what became of the civil war. Hakuryuu had won and as punishment his brother, Kouen, would be executed. The others exiled, and his sister Kougyoku pardoned. Your heart ached knowing deep down that this would only leave his heart hollow. The hatred he harbored for so many years finally had done what you had fought so hard to avoid. It left him utterly alone.

You wanted to run to him. To assure him that, despite what he had done and that you didn’t agree with how he had approach things, that you still loved him. Hakuryuu would hear you out after all. He always did. And you would have had it not been for the child growing in you. After witnessing what he’d been capable of when overtaken like that, you couldn’t chance it. Not with the child.

So you kept your distance for three long years.

Until the day one rogue magi found you. Aladdin, now much older than the young magi you once knew, came to you out of the blue, you couldn’t believe it. He had been missing the past three years according to rumors along with a young Fanalis, Miss Morgiana, and Hakuryuu. That tad bit didn’t hit you until Aladdin mentioned that they would be staying in Kina and help it escape the reign that would come down on the world after Sinbad formed the International Alliance. Curiously enough, he had heard about you from Hakuryuu himself from the many stories he would tell them. 

After hearing of what became of Hakuryuu you breathed a sigh relief. He had undone the cycle of hatred on his own. He liberated his heart of it all. 

“He always spoke fondly of you,” he told you kindly. “And about how much he regretted never searching for you after you left Kou. Which is why I searched for you here when Uncle Takeru told me about a young Kou citizen that fled to his island before the civil war was waged. If you’d like, I would like for you to meet Hakuryuu again. The two of you.”

But now, given the chance to finally, finally meet him again, you faltered. Looking over to your little boy, just three years of age, playing about the expand of your home, you faltered. Questions rushed through your head like crazy. Would he be mad? Would he accept you? Would he love him?

Aladdin—bless his soul and kind heart—calmed all your worries.

“I’m sure he will love to see you again and meet him.”

You don’t know how those simple words convinced you, but they did. 

Aladdin took you to the palace and left you both in an empty room that the king had provided. There you waited and waited and waited until finally the door opened once more, this time to let in the one person you had loved the whole of your life.

You couldn’t believe how much he had changed in the span of three years and just how much he hadn’t at all. Almost instantly after recognizing you, without missing a beat, he rushed towards you and held you closely. It shocked you, honestly, to be taken so suddenly but when you felt his arms around you, the distinct smell of him, his warm breath against your cheek, you broke down crying. Despite having imagined this reunion so many times you never thought that the first thing you would do would be to cry. But you did, not out of sadness but from joy. Holding him closer for a moment longer, he finally separated from you long enough to take in your expression before pressing his lips against yours. You fell in tandem, rejoicing at how this still felt the same even after so many years.  

“No, mama, no!”

You sprung back at the hands of your little boy pulling you back. Both of you stood surprised at the little boy, a spitting image of his father, pouting and red-faced at the attention that his mother was getting from the strange man. 

He was as mad as Hakuryuu was confused. You decided this was as good a time as any to explain. Picking him, you cradled your boy in your arms and tried to explain one rather simple thing to the both of them at once. 

“It’s alright, my love. You see, this man is your papa.”

“My papa?”

“I’m his what?”

“You're his father, Ryuu.” Tears welled up again in yours eyes as you turned to Hakuryuu and smiled. “Yuu’s our son.”

One Love || part II

➵ SF9: Youngbin x fem. reader / series, werewolf AU / fluff

➵ warnings: slight cursing, slight mentions of alcohol

➵ word count: 2.6k

previous. | next.

Youngbin stood in the middle of his office, blood rushing to his head. He was shaking, heart beating way too fast and breath coming out in shallow, quick huffs.

He had just met his mate. 

You were his mate. 

His knees buckled and he had to lean against the wall behind him for support. 

He had just met his mate for the first time and like a complete idiot, he had run away from you. 

But he'd simply been unable to cope in that moment - he never would have thought that he’d ever meet his mate, never would have dreamed of meeting you here, in his shop... Inseong had said you smelled different to him, but that you definitely wasn't his mate - well, the slightly older man had been right, you smelled differently to wolves, because you were his, Youngbin’s mate.

He took in a shaky breath and let out a small, humorless laugh.

Inseong’s scientific assistant was his mate. Of course his and Inseong’s lives had to be intertwined even more. That was just his luck - the relationship he had with the slightly older man was rocky to say the least, thanks to their past. But they had finally begun to work together again these last few months, sharing the burden of being oldest of their pack and having to care for the younger wolves. He knew Inseong wouldn't be happy about yet another person - which whom he had to spend a lot of time with - being "seized" by Youngbin. First his beloved cousin, now his scientific assistant - who Inseong liked, that much was obvious, even though he had been working with you for only two days so far. He had been practically gushing about you yesterday!

"What a mess.", Youngbin murmured and closed his eyes, taking another deep breath to calm himself. 

"Hey... Uhm, are you okay?" your soft voice suddenly asked from beside him, making him jump. He opened his eyes, blinking down at you.

God, you were beautiful. 

He just wanted to bury his nose in the soft waves of your hair. 

You just... smelled so good, how was he ever supposed to concentrate around you? 

And your eyes... those eyes! 

He stared at you in wonder. 

"Uhm… Mr. Kim?" You sounded nervous and drew your eyebrows together, "Are you okay? You look a bit pale." 

"Youngbin. Please... just call me Youngbin.", he finally answered, trying to smile. Your face immediately softened and you returned his smile. You were even more radiant than before and he gulped. "Uh, Hwi is looking at your car right now, I hope?" 

You nodded. "He is indeed - he said I could wait in the office and that you would make some coffee or tea." Now, you full on grinned, "So, I thought I should take you up on his offer." 

Youngbin rolled his eyes, but his bright grin betrayed his real emotions. 

He is even more handsome when he smiles, you thought to yourself, trying to ignore your fast beating heart. 

"Well, I guess I’ll have to show you my hospitality now, won't I? We don't want you to be disappointed.", Youngbin joked and you nodded grimly, though your eyes were sparkling with hidden humor. Youngbin gestured towards one of the chairs inside the office, before turning towards the coffee machine. "Espresso, Latte Macchiato, Cappuccino?", he asked, face turned away from you. He was still trying to get his facial expressions in order as he didn't think it would be wise to show you his apparent wonder and admiration - that would surely just scare you away. 

"Cappuccino please." Your voice... he could listen to your voice for forever. 

"So... you're Inseong’s new scientific assistant, I heard?" God, he was truly horrible at small talk. 

"I am indeed." You sounded amused. When he turned around again, the two cups of freshly made coffee in his hands, you had crossed your legs and were observing him with a watchful expression on your face. He felt a bit helpless - something not often accomplished as he was an alpha and therefore a born leader. 

"Thank you.", you said when he placed one of the mugs in front of you, taking a seat behind his desk - the table providing a much appreciated barrier between you two.

"So, what's it like to work with Inseong?" 

"Well, I've only had the pleasure of working with him for two days so far - but he is very kind and I'm sure we’ll get along just perfectly. You have known him for a long time, right?", you asked and raised the cup to you lips, gently blowing on the hot beverage, before taking a careful sip. 

"Yes. One could even say we grew up together - so we share a lot of history.", Youngbin answered, voice rather tight. 

"You don't sound too pleased about that." 

"He's like family to me. But as so often, one doesn't always see eye to eye in a family." 

"You argue, you mean." 

Youngbin smiled, humorless. "Some would probably say too much." 

You sighed. "It's the same with me and my brother.", you confessed, "We are very different people - and whenever we see each other, we begin to argue." Youngbin took a sip of coffee as well, before asking: "About what?" 

"Oh, you know..." You lazily waved one hand, shrugging, "About this and that. Sometimes about stupid, unimportant stuff, but mostly about his perception of the world or how it should be - at least in his eyes... let's just say, he's not very open-minded." 

"Other than you?" 

"I would like to think so, yes. What about you, would you consider yourself to be an open-minded person, Youngbin?" You fixated him with glinting eyes, the corners of your lip curling into a slight smile.

It was the first time you said his name - and he wanted you to repeat it over and over again, never before had his name sounded so beautifully. "I would like to think so, yes. But there are boundaries to my tolerance." 

At this, you nodded thoughtfully. "That's not a bad thing per se. It depends on what you tolerate or don't - everything should be within reason." 

"We see eye to eye, then." 

You smiled at him and he swore, his heart stopped for a few seconds. 

You talked about this and that for the next half an hour and time simply flew by - way too soon, Hwiyoung entered the office, telling you about finishing the check up on your car. "There's a minor damage concerning the steering mechanism, but it's not too bad. You can make another appointment to have it fixed next week. Other than that, you're good to go.", the young man explained, wiping his grimy hands on an even grimier towel. You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God, you had me scared for a second. Can I make that appointment now?" 

Hwiyoung looked at Youngbin, who nodded. "Of course." With that, he opened his MacBook and clicked on his calendar. "What time and day suits you best?", he asked, trying not to look at you with too much admiration in his eyes - just so Hwiyoung wouldn't notice anything being amiss with his alpha.

"Uh, well... to be honest, I'm free most of the time. I have to work Monday till Friday from 9 to 6 or 6.30pm latest, but that's about it..." You smiled, a tad embarrassed, "I don't really know anyone around town just yet - well, except for Inseong of course - so I don't have any plans next week. What day would suit you guys the best?" 

Youngbin thought about it for a second. "What about next Tuesday, 7pm?" 

"But you'll be alone at that time!", Hwiyoung immediately protested, but Youngbin just shrugged. "I don't have any other appointment that day and I think I can repair the damage on my own." He looked at you and you nodded in confirmation: "Tuesday, 7pm it is, then."

"Perfect. See you on Tuesday.", Youngbin tried to sound nonchalantly, which earned him another smile from you. 

He would never get used to your beautiful smile - not in a thousand years. 

"Thank you for having a look at my car, Hwiyoung. See you guys!" With that, you waved at them, took your car keys from Hwiyoung and left the office - not before giving one last look and smile to Youngbin, who couldn't help but softly smile back at you. 

When you were gone, Hwiyoung turned around to look at his alpha. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile this much in such a short amount of time.", he commented, raising an eyebrow suspiciously, "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, don't get on my nerves.", Youngbin just grumbled, rolling his eyes and closing his MacBook again, "Let's pack things up and go home.“

The rest of Youngbin’s week was spent thinking about his mate way too often. He knew he should talk to the rest of the pack - or at least to Inseong - but he hadn’t been ready for that yet. He was still digesting that he had really, finally found his mate. 

“Youngbin!“ 

He looked up, surprise written all over his face. “What?“, he asked, gazing at the rest of the pack. “It’s your turn to draw out our new routes for running.“, Chani said, raising one eyebrow, “Where the hell are you with your thoughts? Is everything alright? You’ve been acting strange these last few days.“ 

Youngbin sighed deeply and rubbed his face, tiredness washing over him. He should really try to concentrate, the youngest pack member was right. “Yes, sorry. I’m just... tired, that’s all. I’ll tell you guys about your new routes tonight, I promise.“ With that, he abruptly stood up and left the living room - leaving the rest of the pack somewhat bewildered behind. 

“What’s up with him?“, Taeyang asked, confused, and looked at his older brothers. „I don’t know, but something’s up. He’s been acting very strange for a few days now.“, Hwiyoung murmured, drawing his eyebrows together and thinking hard, “I think it started on Tuesday?“ 

“Did something happen at the shop? Something out of the ordinary?“, Zuho inquired and Hwiyoung shook his head. “Not that I know of. We had a few cars to repair and late in the evening, Inseong’s new scientific assistant came by, but that was about it…“ 

“Y/N was at the shop?“, Rowoon asked, earning himself a few surprised looks. 

“Do you know her?“ 

He nodded. “Yeah, Inseong introduced me yesterday. I like her, she’s really nice!“ 

“Huh... Well, I think she should come over sometime soon, so that we all get to finally meet her.“, Jaeyoon suggested, sounding a bit jealous. Dawon nodded. “Yes, especially as she’s going to be around Inseong so often - it’s only logical.“ 

Taeyang frowned at his older brothers. “Not really. It’s not as if both will be hanging around each other all the time during their free time.“, he tried to reason, but the other two just threw him dirty looks.

Meanwhile, Youngbin listened in on their conversation, hiding on top of the staircase. 

So, the others had noticed he was behaving a bit more strange after all. 

Damn it. 

He definitely had to do better in the future - or at least until he had decided what to do about his mate.

The rest of your week passed in a blur - you got some stuff for your apartment, finally unpacked the last boxes, went out for drinks with Inseong and spent a relaxed weekend at home with a Lord of the Rings marathon and a bottle of your favorite red wine. 

You felt very content and relaxed when you entered the office on Monday morning, but to your surprise, Inseong was nowhere to be found. Instead, a handsome stranger sat in his chair, fiddling his thumbs and seemingly waiting for him as well.

“Uh… Good morning.“, you said, raising both eyebrows, „Not to be rude - but who are you and what are you doing in my office?“ 

A dimpled smile lit up the stranger’s face and he immediately jumped up from the chair, walking around Inseong’s desk. He was tall and broad, with brown wavy hair and large, dark eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry! I was just waiting for Inseong, because I have to ask him something personal. You must be Y/N, his new scientific assistant, right?“ 

You nodded, shaking his offered hand. “And you are…?“ 

“Oh, sorry!“ His laugh was infectious. “I’m Jaeyoon, I’m part of the same pac- uh, we’re roommates!“, he finally explained, scratching his head and smiling down at you. 

“Ahh, right! He told me about his living conditions - you’re nine in total, right? Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jaeyoon.“, you smiled back at him, “But I have to say - I can’t help you. I actually thought Inseong would be here by now. He’s never been late so far.“ You frowned, gnawing on your lower lip. “I hope nothing has happened to him...“

“To whom? To me?“, an amused voice behind you suddenly asked and you whirled around. And there, just stepping through the door and into the office, was no other than your missing boss - two cups of steaming hot coffee in his hands. “I’m late one time and you immediately think something must have happened to me. I don't know if I should be flattered or offended.“ With that, he grinned at you and handed you one of the cups. “Hi Jaeyoon. What are you doing here?“, he then asked the other man, raising both eyebrows in a questioning manner. 

“Oh, I… uh, actually forgot.“ Jaeyoon frowned, thinking hard. “I wanted to ask you something, but it must have slipped my mind… I’ll just text you later if I can think of it again. See you! Bye Y/N - it was nice meeting you.“ He quickly smiled at you before hurrying out of the office. 

“Well, he seems nice.“, you said, before taking your place behind the desk. 

“Mostly… But he’s one half of the chaos line, so he can be quite… challenging at times.“, Inseong agreed, seating himself behind his desk as well. 

“The chaos line?“, you asked, confused, and Inseong laughed. “That’s what I call him and another one of my broth- uh, roommates, Dawon. They can be quite a handful - very mischievously, especially together.“ 

“Sounds exhausting.“ 

“Well, they can be. But they’re also real moodmakers. You’ll probably meet Dawon soon enough, if I know him at all. And to be quite honest, I think that was Jaeyoon’s plan all along as well - I don’t think he wanted to see me, but to finally see you.“ 

You laughed at that and shook your head. “Cheeky.“ 

“Oh, he is. But come to speak of it... Would you want to come over for dinner some time this week? Then you’ll finally meet my whole pac- I mean, my whole family.“, Inseong looked quite nervous upon asking you, which made you smile. He truly was just such a sweet guy.

“Oh, I would love that - I can make dessert, if you like!“ 

Inseong clapped his hand together, excitement written all over his face. “Oh, that’ll make Rowoon very happy - he loves cooking, but he’s not that much into making desserts. I’ll ask the others which day suits them best and confirm with you again?“, he said, obviously pleased with your response. 

“That sounds perfect, thank you.“, you agreed and returned his smile.

With that, you both finally began to concentrate on your work for the day.

[next chapter] | [all chapters]

AU Prompt: Emma pushed Killian away when he confessed his feelings to her. He’s finally returned home, a bit broken by the world. Will she finally have the guts to tell him what she always regretted not saying? (Can be smutty or not)

Sorry this took a few weeks but here it is! Thank you for my first ever prompt! I don’t know if this is what you wanted but this is what it turned into... nearly 10000 words of friends to lovers angst.

You can read it on Ao3

Send me your prompts!

Emma met Killian Jones when she was seventeen years old and she hadn’t liked him one bit. From the moment he’d first said hello to her she’d read him as a cocky, smooth talking broody type who probably liked to win over girls with his accent and his Edward Cullen like aloofness. She had not been a fan. She’d let him know too, on multiple occasions. 

She’d spent most of her time avoiding him for the first month of the semester and she was doing a pretty good job of it actually. That is, until she got detention. For being late. How unfair was that? It wasn’t her fault that Ruth’s car wouldn’t start in the morning and so she and David had had to walk to school. David got away with it, he always did. He was sweet and friendly and he could charm teachers like it was nobody’s business. 

Emma had scowled and defended her innocence and had ended up with detention. She loved the guy, really. Ever since he and Ruth had taken her in a year ago she was nothing but grateful for their kindness and love. She’d even started referring to him as her brother. She just hated how much better he was at being a person than she was sometimes. 

That was the second time she met Killian Jones. She was shocked to find him there. Despite her first impression she had managed to discover that he was, at his core, a nerd. He may dress like the love interest in a teen movie but he spent most of his time in the library or sitting under trees reading or doing homework. He even wore glasses sometimes, these big, awful square things that took over half his face. So what was he doing in detention?

“Afternoon, Swan,” he said when she walked in. He was immediately shushed by the teacher who had gotten the unfortunate role of supervising them. “I’m just being friendly,” she heard him mutter under his breath. 

They were the only two in there today. They had to stay for an hour after school. She guessed the punishment for being late to class was being late to dinner. They were told to sit silently and to either do homework or read. Emma figured she might as well try to get through some of her English homework. She was crap at it and it was the one subject that David couldn’t help her with. She’d rather do it here then at home. 

She started working through the questions for Act 1. Why the hell did they still study Shakespeare? The guy was dead four hundred years now. Give it up already - let him rest in peace. She was working on the third question - guessing the answer to the third question was more like it - when she heard a small cough beside her. She looked up to find Killian leaning over in his seat, his own homework in front of him.

“That’s the wrong answer,” he said quietly and she raised a brow at him.

“What?”

“Your answer, Mercutio isn’t Romeo’s cousin. Benvolio is. Mercutio is just his friend.” Her eyes widened in surprise. He wasn’t being condescending or self-righteous. He was just… letting her know. Trying to help her, she realised. He looked nervous as he glanced at her and then back at his book. 

“How do you know that?” she asked.

“I’m in your English class,” he said, looking down, ears turning red. Right. And she was a jerk. She felt bad, he looked a little dejected and it was her fault. She hadn’t seen him hanging around with many people, he was usually alone. Like her. She wondered then, a bit sadly, if maybe he wasn’t alone because he wanted to be. Maybe he was alone because he didn’t have anyone - like her. 

“Thanks,” she said with a smile and he gave her a small one in return. “Um, do you know who the hell Tybalt is?” 

His smile widened and he nodded as he leaned over to help her. The teacher told them to knock it off but he insisted that they were trying to help each other complete the same homework. He even argued that it was more character building than just sitting in silence. He was damn lucky that he seemed to have some of that same charm that David had when it came to teachers. The teacher waved them away, letting them continue to work together. 

She finished her homework a lot faster than she would have without him. And she understood the story a little better than she had coming in to detention. She was reminded then that that was where they were and as she looked at Killian, with his red ears and his shy smile and hunched shoulders and his dumb glasses, she had to ask. 

“What did you do to get in here?” His smile faltered just a tad. He scratched behind his ear nervously. 

“I, um, I punched Eric.”

“You what?” she demanded, loud enough that the teacher glared. Of all the things she’d expected - that was not one of them. 

“He was picking on Belle. He threw her book in the snow and made fun of her for liking to read - I mean, who the hell makes fun of someone for reading?” 

Emma felt her lips curling up a bit at his incredulous tone. “What, is Belle your girlfriend or something,” she teased. He frowned at her, looking confused.

“No,” he said. “She’s with that strange Scottish exchange student who’s name I can’t pronounce. But she’s a person and she’s sweet and Eric is an asshole and well, Belle is only about yea big,” he said, bringing his thumb and index finger close together. “I couldn’t do nothing,” he insisted. Emma laughed. 

Two things changed that day. One, Emma understood Shakespeare for the first (and last) time in her life. And two, she decided to make Killian Jones her friend. 

They were inseparable after that. At school  they spent almost all of their time together. In class they sat next to each other, they chatted in the halls between bells, they ate lunch together, and Killian ate dinner at their house regularly. Emma learned fairly quickly that his own home wasn’t a place he liked to be when he could avoid it. 

His mother had died when he was young and his father had raised him and his brother for a few years but finally decided that he couldn’t handle raising his sons on his own so when Killian’s brother went off to university, he had sent him to live with his aunt Cora in Boston. She was, in Killian’s own words, not a very nice woman. 

It was then that Emma realised how similar she and Killian were. They’d both been abandoned and left behind by the people who were supposed to care about them more than anyone. His father had sent him away. Her parents had abandoned her by the side of the road. Both their parents had chosen to give them up. And so she invited him for dinner, because Ruth and David were the best thing that had ever happened to her and she thought he could use a little bit of the Nolans in his life. 

He and David got along like a house on fire. She was surprised considering how David was such a jock, and Killian revealed dorkier and dorkier interests with every day that she knew him. But they were similar, she could see that, in their friendliness and openness and their humor. Killian told her that David reminded him of his brother and that made him miss him less. 

David also quickly became the bane of her existence, insisting that she and Killian were secretly in love with each other and getting on her case to just admit it already so that they could get married and have lots of babies like they both clearly wanted. Emma usually punched him for that. 

She and Killian were friends. That was all. She’d had few real friends in her life and she wasn’t going to screw this one up by developing feelings for him. No matter how cute he looked when his hair fell onto his forehead despite his best efforts to push it back. No matter how much he made her laugh or how much she enjoyed when they watched a movie late on the weekend and he let her fall asleep with her head in his lap. No matter how she thought he looked kind of hot when he got mad every time she beat him at Scrabble - which was all the time. They were friends. 

Emma had tried love once. She was sixteen, just when Ruth and David had first taken her in. There had been a guy. He had been in one of her group homes a while back, before he aged out and they had stayed in touch. They’d reunited when they found themselves both in the same city. 

He was older but she didn’t think that mattered. What was five years when they’d lived so many of the same experiences? Ruth hadn’t approved of the situation but she’d stayed mostly quiet about it - their relationship not strong enough for her to impose her views yet. 

She’d thought Neal was the love of her life. But then, she’d had a pregnancy scare and he’d run away faster than a bat outta hell. She’d never heard from him since. She hadn’t been pregnant, thank god. She was not ready to be a mother. But to see how little she meant to him, how despite all his pretty words and promises he had left her so easily the second he was faced with her being in his life forever… it had hurt. It had destroyed her, really. So she figured love wasn’t really worth it in the end. 

She’d met Killian less than a year later and at first she’d hated him because that easy charisma and confidence and air of a damaged soul had reminded her so strongly of Neal that she’d headed for the hills. But after she’d gotten to know him she realised how different they were, and so she did love him - not in that way, maybe in that way- but in the way she loved David. She trusted him and liked being around him. 

He was her friend - even if she had had that weird dream about him one time… several times… too many times. It wasn’t her fault that she thought about him when she woke up and before she went to sleep. He was usually texting her at that time - what else could she think about? They were friends. He was her best friend and he had been for nearly a year when everything changed. 

“I um, I got in,” he told her when they were sitting at the kitchen table one weekend near the end of their senior year. They’d decided to open their letters together. Emma had applied to a few colleges nearby and the local community college. She had her sights set on becoming a police officer or a social worker. She wasn’t sure which yet. Killian wanted to be an English professor. He’d told her so one of the first days they’d hung out. She’d called him a nerd but gave him credit for at least finding a way to make money off of it. 

“Got in where?” she asked. She’d missed which envelope he’d opened. He had a lot - they were all the big envelopes too. 

“Oxford,” he said, his eyes wide in disbelief and amazement. 

“Holy shit, Killian!” she shouted, standing up and throwing her arms around him, nearly knocking him right off his chair. “That’s amazing! Isn’t that where your brother studies? That’s an amazing school! Oh my god, professor Jones here you come!” 

She was beaming, so proud of him, so happy for him. She knew this was his dream school. But there was something off. He didn’t look as thrilled as she expected him to. Maybe it was just shock but she thought he could at least smile about it. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, nudging his shoulder. “I thought this was what you wanted?” 

“It is - sort of. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“It’s in England,” he said and for the first time since he’d opened that letter it hit her. Oh. Oh. That meant… that meant he’d be leaving. Moving hundreds of miles away. 

“I don’t have to go there,” he said, giving her an awkward, embarrassed smile. “I got into Harvard too.” 

“You what?” she practically screamed. She punched his arm. “You weren’t supposed to open letters without me!” 

“It was Harvard, Emma,” he deadpanned and she couldn’t really be mad at him. She wouldn’t have been able to wait either. 

“Where do you want to go?” she asked and he looked at her hesitantly. She tried not to think about the way her heart was racing in her chest. Or about how blue his eyes were. Or about how she might not get to see them every day if he went to Oxford. 

“I don’t know,” he started and she knew he was lying. 

“Yes you do.” He looked away, not meeting her eye. “Killian, I know you hate it here,” he opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off. “I know you like me and David and Belle and some of the others but… I know you miss home. I know you miss your brother. I also know it’s the better program because you’ve told me so. Multiple times.” She held her breath for a moment, surprised at how much it hurt to encourage him to follow his dream. “Oxford is everything you’ve ever wanted.” 

“Not everything,” he said and she tried to meet his eye. He wouldn’t look at her. 

“What do you mean? What’s missing.” 

“You,” he answered, finally looking at her and her breath caught in her throat. Not just at his words, but at the way he was looking at her, like he’d been holding something back a long time and now the floodgates had opened and it was rushing out, plain on his face. “Oxford doesn’t have you,” he said. 

“If I stay here,” he continued, “we could go to school in the same city. We could keep hanging out between classes and on the weekends - we could even get a flat together!” he said a little excitedly and Emma’s chest hurt because she wanted all of those things, so badly. But she couldn’t have them. She couldn’t let him choose her over his future. They were friends. They were seventeen. He would regret it and resent her for the rest of his life. 

“But Oxford is your dream, everything you said you wanted,” she reminded him. “Oxford is where your family is, your brother and your old friends.” Her argument sounded weak to her own ears. 

“Maybe I have other dreams, other things I want more,” he said, looking at her that way again. It scared her. 

“What dreams,” she asked, barely whispering. 

“Emma,” he said, taking her hand and her heart started racing. “Emma you have to know, there’s no way you couldn’t. The whole school knows, your brother knows.” Her breath was coming quickly now, all of her senses on high alert and her blood rushing in her ears as he leaned in.

He pressed his lips to hers, tentatively, nervously, but with a passion that Killian always had for anything he did, anything he cared about. She shouldn’t let him kiss her, she thought. She couldn’t. She couldn’t because she wanted him to and if she wanted that then she had to admit to everything she wanted, to how much she wanted him. 

Of course she knew. She’d always known and… he knew too. But this was his life. His future. She couldn't let him throw it away for her. She loved him, regardless of which way, and so she had to let him go. So she did let him kiss her, for a moment, let her lips slide over his own, let herself enjoy how natural it felt, how right it felt - because she knew she’d never get to again. She pulled away first. 

“Killian -” she started and he must have heard it in her voice because he raised his hand, cupped her cheek.

“No,” he said, pressing his forehead to hers. His words were frantic, desperate, like he was trying to hold on to something he knew was slipping away. “I love you, Emma. Ask me not to go. Ask me to stay.” 

She couldn’t. She couldn’t ask him that. It was selfish and she couldn’t let him give up his dreams for her. She wasn’t worth it. She knew he wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t let her convince him to leave just like that. She’d have to hurt him - for his own sake. And it would hurt her just as much. 

“I can’t,” she said and she felt his hand tighten slightly in her hair. She pulled back. “Killian. Don’t stay for me. Whatever it is you feel for me… I don’t,” she lied. “I’m sorry. But you can’t stay in Boston for me. Not if you’re staying because you hope something will happen because… it’s never going to happen.”

She felt him tense. His hand still in her hair, her hand still clasped in his. Then he pulled back all at once, looked down, and then back at her. He was hurt, but there was guilt there too. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Emma, I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine.”

“Will you still be my friend?” he asked. “Even after…”

“Yes,” she promised. 

“You really want me to go?” he asked. She nodded, hoped he didn’t see the tears she was struggling to hold off. 

“Yeah. I really want you to go,” she said. 

When Killian went home that night, earlier than usual, Emma let herself cry. 

Killian left in the summer. Their goodbye was awkward, as had most of their interactions been since his confession. They’d tried not to make it awkward, to go back to how they’d been but now he had this huge vulnerability hanging between them and she had this huge lie hanging between them. It tore at the fabric that made them what they were, that made their friendship what it had been. It stained it. 

“Keep in touch,” she said as she hugged him outside his aunt’s house, the cab waiting behind them. 

“Aye,” he promised. He got in the cab and David’s arm was around her suddenly. 

“You okay?” he asked. 

“Fine,” she lied again. She was getting good at it. 

***

They were still sort of friends, for the first year they kept in touch - really made an effort. Killian told her about the residence and the people he had met and his professors and Emma told him about her forensics courses. She’d decided on becoming a police officer - but she wanted to be a detective. David was in the same program. It was nice to do it with someone else. 

But slowly, unavoidably, life got in the way. The phone calls were few and farther between, he didn’t have the money to go to Boston for Thanksgiving and she didn’t have the money to go to England for Christmas. Plans were broken, texts went unanswered, new friends were made, new interests developed and slowly, they drifted. 

It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just one of those sad, unavoidable realities of life. Only, he and David still talked, still texted and emailed and spoke on the phone. So maybe it wasn’t so unavoidable. Maybe they’d both needed it. 

She still had him on Facebook, still checked in on his profile despite the years that passed, trying to stay aware of the things that were happening in his life. She learned about his brother’s death from David. She sent him a card with her condolences but she didn’t go to the funeral. It had been three years since he left, two since they’d spoken. He probably wouldn’t have wanted her there anyway. He hadn’t come down for David and Mary Margaret’s wedding a year later, despite having known both of them since high school. He’d had exams and had sent his apologies and a gift by mail. 

She saw online that he was in a long-term relationship, someone called Milah, a pretty dark haired woman who looked a few years older than him, a professor at his school she discovered after a little bit of snooping. He was with her for two years during which Emma was accosted with pictures of the two of them, until finally, one day they just stopped. She wondered what had happened there. 

She smiled when she learned that he got his PhD. He’d posted a picture of himself with a beer in one hand and his diploma in the other. He’d captioned it ‘that’s DOCTOR Killian Jones to you’. She hit the like button. He changed his job status to ‘employed’ at one of the smaller nearby colleges shortly after and she was proud of him. He’d done it. He’d gotten everything he wanted. It had taken ten years, but he was exactly who he’d hoped to be. 

So was she. She had made detective a few years ago, alongside David. They were even allowed to be partners since technically they weren’t related. She was happy, she had a job she loved, a nice apartment that was all her own, good friends, family… but she still checked his Facebook. She still spent evenings sometimes with a glass of wine looking up the boy who had told her he loved her when she was seventeen. 

She and David were sitting in their patrol car, staking out a coffee shop of all places that they’d been told their perp liked to use to make his drops, when he told her Killian was moving back. 

“What?” she demanded, her voice practically squeaking. 

“He got a job at Harvard,” David said dismissively, as though he hadn’t just turned her world upside down. “He’s got a one year teaching contract. I guess they liked the idea of a Brit teaching British lit,” he smirked a little at his own joke. 

Emma was reeling. She wasn’t prepared for this. She didn’t know how to handle the guy that she’d loved in high school and then stalked on Facebook for ten years suddenly coming back into her life. 

“You okay?” David asked, looking at her strangely. 

“Fine,” she said quickly and he rolled his eyes, not buying it. 

“Whatever,” he said, picking his battles. “We’re having a party at our house to welcome him home,” he told her. “You should come.” Emma forgot sometimes that David and Killian were still friends, even after all these years. He and Mary Margaret had even taken the time to visit him when they’d gone to Europe for their anniversary last year.

“Maybe,” she said dismissively. 

“He still asks about you, you know,” David said after a moment. Emma stayed silent, pretending to look through her binoculars at the front door of the cafe. Pretending her heart wasn’t racing in her chest at the idea of seeing the man whose heart she’d broken a decade ago. 

She’d debated not going to the party. Had walked to her front door and back into her kitchen a few times, had hesitated at her car, but she’d finally told herself to snap out of it. It had been ten years ago. They’d been teenagers. He was surely over it by now and she should be too. So she went. 

She hadn’t been prepared. She thought she was but when she walked in and saw him standing with David and Mary Margaret, smiling at something one of them was saying… it was brutal. It was brutal because he was different. She’d expected him to be different of course, but not like this. 

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. He looked sadder and older. He held himself more confidently than he had in high school, but something about it told her it was a facade. Maybe she just knew him, she thought. But she didn’t anymore, did she, she was reminded. Her heart stopped when he looked over, met her eyes. He smiled a little but it wasn’t the easy smile she’d loved so much. He raised his bottle at her and she gave an awkward wave. 

“Long time no see, stranger,” he said later, coming up behind her to say hello and honestly scaring the absolute shit out of her.

“Jesus, Killian,” she said, hand to her chest. “Don’t you know not to sneak up on a cop like that?”

He smiled, that teasing smile she remembered. “I think I could take David if we’re honest.” She laughed. “I heard you made detective,” he said. “Congratulations.” 

“Thanks. I hear you’re finally Professor Jones.”

“Aye. It seems we both got what we wanted in the end,” he said and there was a bit of sadness in the way he said it, the kind that she could tell was unintentional. 

“So,” she started awkwardly when the silence dragged on. “How have you been?”

“Good, good,” he said. “You?” This was brutal. They continued the small talk for a while. She missed how easy things used to be between them. She missed all the stupid, fun things they did when they were kids and they didn’t have all this baggage hanging between them. 

“You know what I miss?” she said out loud and he raised a brow at her. 

“No, Swan, what do you miss?” 

“I miss when we used to steal Ruth’s whiskey and climb up onto the roof and drink it there,” she smiled, remembering how many long, slightly drunken conversations they’d had as kids on the roof of Ruth’s house. 

Killian smiled, fondly and then a little mischievously. He leaned in a little and Emma couldn’t help but notice the way his face had changed. His jaw was sharper, some of the roundness of his cheeks having faded with age, and he’d grown into his nose. He was sporting a short beard now too, something he’d always wanted to complete his professor look but hadn’t been able to grow. He dressed better too, no more jeans and band tshirts. Now he wore… well, jeans and a tshirt but nicer ones with a jacket and boots instead of converse. It was pretty unfair, Emma thought, that he'd gotten better looking with age. He’d been good-looking enough to begin with. 

“I think I spy a bottle of whiskey in the kitchen there,” he hinted and Emma smirked. 

“This place does have a roof,” she said, matching his tone. 

“I’ll get the bottle, you distract Dave,” he said, winking - well, trying to. He’d never mastered that one and it made her smile a bit to see that some things hadn’t changed. 

They successfully managed to steal the bottle and hurry their way up to the guest room that Emma knew had a window they could walk out onto the roof from. They sat there, knees pulled up, passing the bottle between them as they looked out at the slowly darkening sky. Emma let the liquor warm her, let it make her a little looser, a little braver. 

“How are you really, Killian?” she asked eventually. He sighed, reaching for the bottle and taking a sip. 

“Tired,” he said. “It’s been a rough few years.” 

“I saw, about your brother,” she said. “I’m sorry.” 

He nodded. “Thank you. I’ve learned to live with it.”

“There was a woman too,” she said, not quick enough to catch the words before they slipped out. He raised an eyebrow at her teasingly.

“Been stalking my facebook, have you, Swan?”

She shrugged, deciding to be honest. “Only a little.” He looked surprised at her confession, a small smile breaking out on his face. 

“Aye, there was a woman,” he said and she wanted to roll her eyes at the fact that he sounded like some old dandy poet, lamenting over a lost love. “Milah. She went back to her husband.” Emma’s eyes shot up to her hairline. Husband? Wow. That was not what she’d expected. “There was a child involved,” he said, not turning to see her surprised look. “It was for the best.” 

He didn’t sound like he totally believed what he said, but he sounded like he’d made peace with it. Emma felt for him. His life had continued on the way it had been when they met. He’d lost more people, been left behind by more people he cared about, loved. She’d managed to avoid that. But she hadn’t let herself love anyone new. Not since him. 

“And what about you?” he asked, turning to hand her back the bottle. “What great loves have you lived and lost? Or is there a great love now?” he asked with a cheeky smile. She laughed.

“Nah, not for me,” she said. “My love affairs usually only last until the next morning.” He huffed out a laugh as she took another drink from the bottle. 

“Ah, you’ll find it someday,” he said. “One day there will be a man that you can’t dream of living without and that one will last a long time.”

“Two nights?” she joked and he laughed again. His laugh was the same, she thought with a small smile. 

“Aye, two nights.” 

They sat in silence for a while, continuing to share the bottle and Emma decided to blame that for what she said next. “I’ve missed you,” she told him and he turned his head to face her, away from the stars they’d been gazing up at. 

“I’ve missed you too, Swan,” he told her. He lay back, stretched his arm out and she took the invitation, snuggled up next to him like they had when they were teenagers watching scary movies and she lay her head on his shoulder. 

They stayed out there for another hour before David came to find them, scolding Killian for sneaking out of his own party. But he smiled at them as they climbed back through the window and Emma knew he was happy they’d found their way back to each other - that they were finding their way back to the friendship she’d once valued more than anything.

The next night, Emma invited him out for a drink with her and some of her friends from college. He’d made a comment about going out two nights in a row and she’d mocked him for being an old man - ‘I’m sorry, has it been ten years or fifty since we last saw each other?’ - and he agreed to join her. 

Emma was surprised, tough not really, at how well he fit in with her friends. They all loved him, loved his stories from teaching and the fact that he had dirt on Emma from before any of them knew her. He and Will and Robin hit it off immediately and she figured it was probably a brit thing. They spent over an hour talking about soccer. 

He fit in well here. Emma tried not to think about the fact that he fit so well into her life. Or about how much she liked that he fit there, how much she’d missed having him there. She also, really tried to ignore the way that his shirt clung to his biceps. He hadn’t had those in high school. It was difficult when Ruby seemed so intent on pointing it out. Ruby was being herself, pretending to be more salacious than she really was for a laugh, making comments about how she could just spread him on a cracker, when she looked at Emma and her face changed. 

“Oh,” she said and Emma didn’t like the knowing tone of her voice.

“What?” Emma asked, realising that her arms were crossed over her chest. She let them fall, tried to strike a more casual pose. 

“I didn’t realise… you like him,” she said with a sly smile. Emma scoffed.

“We’re friends,” she said flatly. 

“Mhm,” Ruby smirked. “You don’t look at me like that,” she pointed out. “Or Will, or Robin, or even Graham.” 

“Shut up,” Emma said, crossing her arms again as Killian looked over and she accidentally, automatically smiled at him. Ruby only laughed. 

They were friends. They’d only just started being friends again. She wasn’t going to ruin it now. She’d been the one to ensure that they would always, only be friends. ‘It’s never going to happen’, she’d told him. She’d made her bed. Now she had to lie in it - alone. 

She still couldn’t help wondering though if he still kissed the same way. She’d only kissed him once but she’d had yet to have another that lived up to it. And he’d been a teenager then, she was pretty sure she was the second girl he’d ever kissed. She wondered what it would be like now. 

She pushed the thought away. She’d thrown that possibility out the window a long time ago. She’d done it for his own good. And look who he was now, a professor, he had a goddamn PhD. He’d gotten everything he wanted. So why did he look so sad most of the time? Why was she so sad most of the time? She hadn’t noticed that she was before - it had only been since he came back and she had become aware of the gaping hole where something had been missing from her life. 

Having him back helped a bit. Like a bandaid over an open wound. She just hoped that the awkwardness would fade and they would find their way back to the friendship she had mourned for so long, had never really gotten over. She hoped he would let her earn it back. She looked at him laughing at something Robin said and she realised that regardless of time, her life was a little better with him in it. 

The awkwardness did fade. It wasn’t instant and it wasn’t necessarily easy - there was a lot between them, a lot of years and disappointments and broken trust, but soon, they found their way back to what they’d had as kids. It wasn’t long before they were spending evenings in each other's apartments, curling up on the couch and watching bad movies. She found herself smiling a lot throughout the day when he would text her a funny message or a stupid meme.

He was there for Christmas, only the second they’d gotten to celebrate together. They’d both spent the night at David and Mary Margaret’s and Emma had only been disappointed for a second that there were two guest rooms. She’d been looking forward to staying up late talking with him and laughing… and flirting. She’d noticed that there had been a bit more flirting, more than there used to be. On second thought, having to share a bed might not have been a good thing. Not if she wanted to keep him as a friend. She bought him a tweed jacket with leather patches on the shoulders that year. It was meant to be a joke but he’d worn it every day for a month. 

He was there for New Years and Emma felt her heart skip a beat when he kissed her at midnight. It was a small thing, a peck on the lips, barely a second, and he’d smiled at her in a way that made her feel that she shouldn’t read into it - no matter how much she wanted to. It was just a European thing, she insisted, weird boundaries. 

There had been a moment, once, when they’d been sitting on her couch in her apartment, watching another terrible movie. Nothing had happened, nothing specifically, but suddenly she found herself looking at him and he was watching her too, something heavy hanging in the air between them. 

Their hands were close and he moved his little finger, brushed it over hers and it made her breath stop. It was ridiculous, considering her legs were thrown over his and they were already sitting so close, but her breath stopped anyway. It was the way he was looking at her, the uncertainty and the affection and just a tiny bit of longing - there was no other word for it. She recognized it because she’d felt it every day since he’d come home - every day since he’d left ten years ago. 

His fingers had continued, collecting more of hers and slowly intertwining them. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted him to kiss her. She was pretty sure that he would for a moment. He held their hands up between them, looked at them and then at her, pulled her a little closer. And then a loud noise had come from the TV and he’d jumped, dropping her hands and scratching at his ear. They didn’t bring it up again. 

He was there for St Patty’s Day and Easter and the Fourth of July and birthdays, and before she knew it a year had passed. Well, nearly a year, eleven months to be exact. She knew that because it was August and he was complaining about having to go back to teaching the ‘little entitled shit’s’ as he called them. 

“Weren't you one of those students a few years ago?” she reminded him, flicking at his ear as she walked around him into her kitchen to grab them a snack. He was sitting on her sofa a few feet away. Her apartment was small, but it was cozy.

“I was a little shit,” he allowed, batting at her hand. “But I was never entitled. It’s the entiledness that really gets to me.”

“I don’t think that’s a word,” she taunted, as she put the popcorn in the microwave and turned it on. 

He turned, throwing his arm over the back of the couch and looking over his shoulder at her. “You really want to question an English Literature professor?” 

“Being a professor doesn’t mean you get to make up words,” she told him. “Besides, I still beat you in Scrabble so I’m pretty sure I’m the expert.” 

He scoffed, hopping over the back of the couch and joining her in the kitchen. “Scrabble is a game of luck, nothing more,” he told her. “You can’t make words if you don’t get the right letters.” 

“Sounds like something a loser would say,” she shrugged. He looked at her in shock and Emma saw the glint in his eye a second before he moved. “Don’t,” she tried to warn him but he was too fast. He grabbed her and the idiot started tickling her, actually tickling her like he was seven years old. 

“Admit I have a superior mastery of the English language,” he demanded. She shrieked as she laughed, her sides burning, cursing him. He had her trapped against his body, his arm wrapped around her waist, pinning her back to his chest.

“Never!” she saw her opportunity and she took it. She grabbed his arm and spun him around, managed to pin him against the fridge, her arm braced against his chest, holding one of his wrists, she held the other down at his side. 

“Woah,” he said, eyes wide. 

“I keep telling you not to mess with cops,” she pointed out. 

“That was kind of hot,” he admitted, looking more impressed than turned on really. But that was enough for Emma to realise that she had him pushed up against the fridge, her whole body pressed to his. She could feel her face warming, could feel all of her skin warming where she touched his. Oh. She saw it in his eyes when he noticed too. 

She let him go, moved to step back but he caught her, putting his hand on her lower back and pulling her back in. Her heart rate picked up as he pressed her against him, that look in his eyes he’d had that night on her couch back again. He licked his bottom lip and Emma’s eyes darted down to it immediately. 

She saw the way his expression changed a little when she did, curiosity there as he cocked his head, looking her over. He seemed unable to settle on a single part of her face until he stopped at her lips. His own parted, his chin tilting slightly, drawing closer and she couldn’t think of anything except the heat of him against her and her heart running a marathon in her chest. She could feel his breath on her face and that he looked so damn handsome and she just really, really wanted him to kiss her. 

The microwave beeped and Emma cursed the shitty timing that seemed to keep ripping them apart anytime she was given the smallest bit of hope that there could be something more, that they could be something more. Because that was what she wanted. She’d stopped denying it that night on her couch. 

She wanted Killian. She loved Killian. She had since she was seventeen years old. She’d thought it would go away, had almost believed it had at one point. But then he’d come back into her life and that part of her that had been on mute, on pause but never truly gone had reared its head, made sure she knew that she was still, completely and hopelessly in love with the boy she’d met in detention. 

Killian released her, cleared his throat and she stepped back. She held back her sigh, her disappointment. She couldn’t tell him. Not now. Not after all they went through, not now that they were back to who they’d been. She’d turned him down ten years ago. She’d broken his heart. To tell him now that she loved him, that she’d always loved him... She feared his reaction, feared his rejection. 

“I have to tell you something.” He said to her back. She was pouring popcorn into a bowl. 

“If it’s that you don’t want Milkduds in your popcorn you’re shit outta luck,” she said, trying to lighten the heavy mood between them. 

“No, well, yes, but that’s not what I wanted to tell you.” She turned around, recognizing the serious tone of his voice. She leaned back against the counter, waiting for him to say whatever he needed to say. “I’ve been offered a job,” he told her. 

“Killian that’s amazing!” she started but he stopped her. 

“It’s at Oxford.” She felt her heart drop into her stomach. No. Not again. She’d only just gotten him back. “A former professor of mine, Nemo, he pulled some strings when one of the faculty announced her retirement. He says the job is mine if I can get there for the fall semester.” 

It took Emma a moment to speak, trying to process what he was saying, trying to cope with the way it was ripping out her heart. “What about Harvard?” she asked, a little hopefully. 

He scratched that spot behind his ear like he always did when he was nervous. “That position is still up in the air. They’re still reviewing my candidacy.” 

She didn’t say anything, not for a long time. She couldn’t think of what to say. She felt like she was seventeen again, having the exact same conversation they’d had then. Please don’t go, she wanted to beg. Don’t leave. Stay here with me. Be with me. Choose me. But he’d chosen her once before. He’d chosen her and she’d practically thrown it back in his face. 

“It’s a pretty great opportunity,” he continued. “Rare too. It usually takes years to get a position like that.” She could hear him speaking, was aware that he was talking to her, but she couldn’t hear him over the thoughts that were rolling around in her head. She couldn’t lose him again. Not like last time. Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go. 

“The English program there is renowned and-”

“Don’t go.” 

He froze. “What?” 

Shit. Shit, she’d said it out loud. He was looking at her with disbelief and shock and maybe a tiny bit of hope, but maybe she’d imagined that. Well, it was too late now to take it back. 

“Don’t go,” she repeated, stronger this time. She watched the emotions playing over his face, so many that she couldn’t track all of them. But the last one was anger, a desperate kind. 

“What do you mean don’t go?” he reeled on her. “How - How can you ask me that? After all these years?” 

“I know,” she said, hanging her head. “I’m sorry but I just,” she took a deep breath. “I let you leave once and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I was in love with you and when you left I lost you and... Don’t go.” His eyes widened in shock, his jaw dropping. If this moment hadn’t been so serious it would have been almost comical.

“You were in love with me?” he demanded, disbelief clear in his voice. He stepped forward. “Why didn’t you tell me that ten years ago? Why did you push me away?” His voice cracked a little. “I was in love with you, Emma. I’d have done anything for you and you - You broke my heart.” 

“I know,” she could feel tears burning her eyes. “I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought that if you stayed you’d resent me, that you’d hate me eventually. I wanted you to get everything you wanted.”

“You were what I wanted!” he practically shouted at her. She flinched a little. “I wanted to be with you but you turned me down. And then you cut me out of your life.”

“I didn’t-”

“You did, Emma. You stopped answering my calls, my texts, my emails. You didn’t come to the funeral…” She hung her head again. “And now, now we’re finally speaking again, finally back in each other’s lives, finally friends again and now you say you loved me? Now you ask me to stay?”

“Are you not anymore?” she asked and he looked at her in confusion. “In love with me," she clarified. She shouldn’t be asking him. She knew she wouldn’t like the answer. Just because her feelings hadn’t changed in ten years didn’t mean his wouldn’t. He tensed, stood up straighter.

“Are you?” he demanded. 

Emma bit her lip. She was. She was as in love with him now as she was at seventeen but it was different now. She was an adult, she understood the difference between love and infatuation, knew how they were different. Her love had grown from missing him for a decade, had grown more from being with him this last year. It was all consuming, all she thought about. All she wanted was him, if he turned her down now… she didn’t know if she’d recover. 

“Emma, how can you ask me to stay if you can’t even tell me how you feel? What are you asking me to stay for?” She didn’t have an answer. She just stared at her feet. He waited for a while, and she heard as his breath slowed and became a heavy sigh. “I should go,” he said, walking back over to the couch to grab his jacket. 

He was at the door when the panic seized her. The dread and the fear that he was leaving, that he was walking out of her life again, that it was her fault again, that she would surely lose him for good this time, overwhelmed her, reared its head and took over. What are you asking me to stay for? he’d asked. He hadn’t answered her question, hadn’t told her he didn’t love her. He’d just wanted a reason. She’d give him a reason if it meant he would stay. He’d been the one to put his heart on the line last time. Now it was her turn.

“Don’t go,” she said again and he stopped with his hand on the doorknob. “Don’t go. Don’t leave the apartment. Don’t go back to England. Don’t leave again. Please,” she begged.

He didn’t turn around but she heard him speak. “Why not?” 

“Because I love you,” she nearly shouted at him. “Okay? I’ve been in love with you since I was seventeen and I thought I could get over it but I can’t. I lost you once and I can’t lose you again so please,” she paused, a small sob leaving her. He turned around finally, walked back over to where she still stood against the counter. 

“Please just don’t go,” she said again, quieter this time. “I should have said it then but I’m saying it now. I’m being selfish and asking you to pass on your amazing opportunity. I’m asking you to choose me and be with me instead.”

He took her chin between his thumb and his finger dragged her gaze up from where it had been staring at her feet, met her eyes and her heart jumped at the softness there, the anger from earlier gone. “I’ll stay,” he said and she thought her knees would give out with the force of the relief, the hope hitting her all at once.

“What about your job?” she said hesitantly. Shut up, Emma. You got what you wanted. But she still cared - about his success and his dreams, even as she asked him to give them up.

“Fuck my job,” he said before his hand moved to her cheek and he slid his mouth over hers. Emma wanted to cry as she felt his lips move over her own. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, slanting his mouth over hers and she opened beneath him, let him explore her with lips and tongue, and his hands on her body. 

Her hands came up around his neck, tangling in his hair and dragging him closer, pressing herself against him until here was no room left between them at all. He backed her against the counter and she didn’t care even as she felt the hard ridge digging into her back. He groaned when she rolled her hips against the hard ridge digging into her belly. 

“Wait, wait,” he said, breath heavy and ragged as he pulled his lips away from hers.

“What?” she asked, suddenly nervous. That had been the best moment in her entire life and now she feared it would come crashing down, that he’d changed his mind. 

“I forgot to tell you that I love you too,” he said, sounding panicked. She looked at him in disbelief and in that moment he was exactly the boy she’d fallen in love with, awkward and sweet and nervous and just so stupid for such a smart person. “I love you,” he said. “I have for a decade. It never stopped for me either.” Whatever quip she had planned died on her tongue at the sincerity in his voice and on his face. 

She smiled before pulling his lips back to hers, standing on her tiptoes so that she could kiss him properly, the way she’d wanted to for ten years and hadn’t been able to. He kissed her back just as eagerly, lips and teeth and tongue driving her nearly as mad as his hands, which were everywhere at once, stoking the fire that had been burning inside of her since she’d pinned him against the fridge. 

“You’ve gotten better at this,” she teased when they pulled back a moment to catch their breath. He gave her a truly wicked grin. 

“I’ve gotten better at a great many things,” he promised, and she knew where he was going with it, was definitely on board with his plan… but she couldn’t help herself.

“Not Scrabble…” 

He bent down then, grabbing her around the knees and hoisting her up over his shoulder. She shrieked, laughing as he carried her the short distance to her bedroom, dropping her unceremoniously on the mattress. He was such a sore loser. 

He looked at her for a moment, standing at the edge of the bed before leaning down over her, bracing his hands on either side of her head, and lowering his face to hers so their lips nearly brushed as he spoke.

“Not Scrabble,” he conceded before that smile came back. “But a great many things.” 

Quiz: Which Desmond Hall Character Are You?

SPOILER WARNING FOR DESMOND HALL ARCS I AND II

Last week, I was going to work on finishing my next review, but then my muse pulled me aside and ordered me to write a Desmond Hall personality quiz while threatening me with a conjure doll and silver pin. Not every Desmond Hall character is in this quiz, only the ones that I thought would be the funniest to write. Enjoy!

1. You have just arrived at an ancient manor house enveloped in darkness that rests atop a sinister network of haunted caves. When you learn this, how do you react? A. Lie in bed for several days while writhing in agony. B. Accept it and keep myself busy while pining for my voodoo island home. C. Act insufferably smug, because soon the house will belong to me. D. Go search for creatures in the caves to alleviate my boredom and satisfy my compulsion to do random disturbing things. E. Barely react at all because the writers have forgotten that I have a personality. F. Swan around while talking to myself about how the manor looks like something out of a storybook. G. Wish that I could live there again, because I've been trapped in a trippy magical closet for months.

2. The daily newspaper arrives and the headline reads, "GIRL BRUTALLY MURDERED.” What is your response? A. Retreat to my bedchamber and panic loudly about how I hope no one discovers that I’m the murderer. B. Get the body buried and all evidence concealed. C. Observe a moment of silence for my former doxy, then promptly forget she ever existed. D. Cut out the photo of the victim's face, suspend it from a papier-mâché gallows tree, and display it prominently in the foyer. E. Feel moderately concerned for my safety, but not too much. My ghost boyfriend will protect me...maybe. F. Scheme to blackmail the killer into marrying me. G. Wonder, "Was that my brother again?"

3. Your hobbies include: A. Moping around the manor house in fancy suits and contorting my face as though trying unsuccessfully to relieve myself. B. Reciting dramatic monologues with bits of scenery caught between my teeth! C. Plotting murder, robbery, and the corruption of young maidens while sipping sherry. D. I wander. I visit. I'm here and there. I'm a kind of ghost of Desmond Hall. E. I used to enjoy rebelling, flouncing, and bickering, but I've lost my taste for those. Now I prefer hanging out with old people in a cottage that smells of strange spices. F. Talking to and stroking my sweet little snake. (By which I mean "reptile with no legs and a forked tongue." Get your mind out of the gutter.) G. Necromancy.

4. Your favorite foods include: A. Bubbly eggs cooked in champagne. Definitely not kippers. B. The cuisine of my native island, before the evil of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES made all the plants poisonous and killed all the animals! C. My spouse's hors d'oeuvres--but only when I don't have to eat them off the floor. D. Sugar, strawberries and cream, and the very best...*checks Teleprompter*...butter. E. Muffins laced with magical herbs. F. The delicious misery of the man who tried to strangle me and of all the other women who want him. G. I don't eat anymore. I'm a ghost. Food passes right through me--literally.

5. What turns you on? A. A lover who is unpredictable but not murderously crazy, and who likes to wear lacy nighties. B. I would not know! I have not felt those urges in three hundred years! C. Money. D. Anyone from my preferred gender who actually wants to spend time with me. E. A ghost who behaves like Edward Cullen. F. Jean Paul Desmond! He is the sexiest male character in the history of television. G. Submission and unquestioning devotion. Also, lesbians.

6. What is your signature look? A. Highly flattering mod suits combined with an unflattering combover. B. A long black Victorian dress. C. A stodgy gray/green suit, which is probably in desperate need of Febreze after being worn three days in a row. D. Turtlenecks. E. Bleached blonde hair and faddish early ‘70s fashions. F. Long pointed fingernails, false eyelashes, and a creepy grin. G. I once hung from the ceiling with my shirt torn open. Does that count?

7. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. What is yours? A. Although I want to reach out and help the beautiful young women who come to me, instead my hands reach out to kill! B. I single-handedly cursed my employer's family by signing his grandfather’s (misspelled) name on a pledge to the Dark Lord. C. I am a black widower. D. I used to participate in necromancy rituals with my dear cousin. E. I stole a piece of my mother's jewelry and sold it at a pawn shop. F. I am a priestess of the Serpent God. G. Funny you should mention skeletons. My closet has a literal one hanging in it.

8. If you had to guess, which of these personages were you most likely in a past life? A. A freebooter possessed by the Devil. B. Myself. C. Henry Seewald--who looks exactly like a toddler version of me--transported back in time via the 49th hexagram. D. Someone named Claude. E. A young girl sacrificed by a priestess who looked like my mother. F. Ophelia, if she were real. G. My great-uncle with the same first name as me, who was allegedly disowned for being a poet.

9. Your favorite Dark Shadows character is: A. Barnabas Collins. B. Magda Rakosi. C. Nicholas Blair. D. David Collins. E. Carolyn Stoddard. F. Angelique Bouchard. G. Quentin Collins.

10. What from 1970 Dark Shadows do you believe was most likely inspired by Strange Paradise? A. The character of Judah Zachery, who is highly reminiscent of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES. B. The use of a retcon to completely change Angelique's backstory. C. The name Desmond Collins. D. The implied reincarnation in the Summer of '70 arc that (sadly) never got explored as much as it should have been. E. The subplot about Quentin falling in love with Daphne's ghost. F. The Leviathan cult's use of snake iconography. G. The carousel in Tad and Carrie's playroom.

If you answered mostly A, you are Jean Paul Desmond, richest man in the world and master of Desmond Hall. Tall, dark, and incredibly handsome in spite of his receding hairline, Jean Paul is the victim of two self-imposed curses, one of which causes him to strangle people when the Mark of Death appears on his hand (which is totally not a reflection of some repressed or hidden part of his personality, having formerly displayed megalomania and control freak tendencies on his island). When not under the effects of this curse, he is the living embodiment of charm and sweetness and attracts would-be partners like moths to a flame. Logically, the same must be true about you, because online personality quizzes are never wrong. ;)

If you answered mostly B, you are Raxl, daughter of the Priestess of the Serpent and winner of the Canadian 1969 and 1970 scenery-chewing contests. Far older than she looks, the Desmond family’s housekeeper may not be as loyal as she appears, depending on the whims of whomever wrote the plot outline for the final arc. She is an expert on all things occult and supernatural, from tarot cards to the Egyptian Key. Even after her retcon, she is awesome.

If you answered mostly C, you are Laslo Thaxton, husband of Ada (Desmond) Thaxton and master of Desmond Hall in the absence of Jean Paul and Philip. I would say that you are an unscrupulous, greedy Devil-worshiper like Laslo, but I’ve always hated those personality quizzes that make moral judgments about people just because they share some traits in common with the villain. Therefore, I’m just going to assume that you are most likely a decent person who only got Laslo because you happen to love money and Nicholas Blair.

If you answered mostly D, you are Cort Desmond, twenty-something cousin of Jean Paul and Philip. Eccentric and erratic but oh-so-adorable, Cort is a polarizing character loved by some fans for his good looks and (often unintentionally) funny lines, but hated by others for being somewhat of a spoiled brat. Like Hamlet whom he idolizes, he seeks justice for the death of his father, along with the inheritance his Dear Stepfather Laslo wants to steal from him.

If you answered mostly E, you are Holly Marshall--or, rather, what Holly has become since her creator Ian Martin left the show. Formerly a spitfire with a high IQ, a low boiling point, and a love for outdated slang, Holly has become a shell of her former self under the new writers. She spends more time unconscious and hypnotized than not; when she is conscious, she wastes her time pining after an unsuitable love interest who treats her like Edward treats Bella in Twilight. I hope this doesn’t describe you, because, if it does, you should seek help. Don’t be like Desmond Hall-era Holly!

If you answered mostly F, you are Agatha Pruitt, a young seamstress obsessed with Jean Paul. While the master of Desmond Hall has attracted many suitors, none are as strange or disturbing as Agatha, who blackmails him into letting her live at Desmond Hall after his failed murder attempt and proceeds to wreak havoc there along with the Serpent God (who may or may not be Raxl’s Great Serpent) whom she worships.

Finally, if you answered mostly G, you are Jean Paul’s brother, Philip Desmond (not to be confused with his cousin Philip Desmond, or either of the two Philippes des Mondes). A secretive figure largely mysterious even to his own brother, the handsome Philip dabbles in the dark arts and other mysteries, which ultimately leads to his disappearance into the caves beneath Desmondton and reappearance as a ghost. His character alignment is unclear--he may be evil, or just chaotic neutral--but one thing is clear: whoever messes with Philip has the Devil to pay.

moar phantom au.

You didn’t ask for more of my literary analysis bullshit, but tough luck that’s what you’re getting. Gotta stay on brand, after all.

Ok so Phantom at its core (for me) is about the transcendence of artistry, of the sublime, into monstrosity. It’s about an unwitting Faustian bargain; the protagonist wishes to dabble in the music of the angels and instead finds herself tangled in the obsessions of a very human madman.

However, Phantom isn’t a traditional “escape the murderer” story, (It isn’t a traditional *anything* the original, serialized novel jumps genres like nobody’s business) it’s equal parts beauty and the beast, or rather its older cousin, death and the maiden. There is no book if after the initial disillusionment there isn’t still a draw.

The protagonist (Christine) expects divinity but instead is faced with this overwhelming tragic monstrosity, and amid the devastation of that realization she discovers… she’s still kind of into it?

You can strip away the dressings of theatre and opera and still keep that main premise.

Frankly I was always disappointed with Phantom’s lack of truly supernatural elements, I think a Hellsing AU would actually fit rather nicely.

However some alterations to Alucard’s character and role in the story would be necessary because the titular character is indeed the villain.

The same can be said for Integra too. While I love Christine as a protagonist, she’s inherently the wilting ingenue archetype (her strength is a quiet sort) and Integra is… not that.

Seras would actually be a more obvious choice for the Christine stand in, however I interpret Alucard as being… more decent?? than to form that kind of selfish obsession on someone without their being underlying baggage to their relationship (as is his history with the Hellsing line).

Ironically enough I think Alucard is too scrupulous to put all his tragedies and emotional burdens at someone else’s feet.

Either way, if not music, I’m not certain what their fixation would be. Most likely some form of occult knowledge? Or perhaps successfully running the organization itself.

I wonder how Alucard could deceive Integra though. Perhaps it’s the fact that upon her ascension she realizes that a vampire has been governing the Hellsing organization from the shadows for all those years since Van Helsing died. (Which if we’re swapping out the Opera House for Hellsing, could be a thing that happened)

I don’t know, there’s a lot of ways to go about mashing Phantom and Hellsing together.

Lovecraft + Phantom of the Opera + House of Leaves+ Hellsing = I have no idea what I’m doing anymore.

Here’s some stuff I’d include in a fic:

Arthur lives until Integra is twenty, all that time he is in charge of the organization. Although he is always withdrawn, a little sickly, and white around the eyes.

The catacombs of the opera house can be the Hellsing manor subbasements. Alucard has been locked away for three long decades. The years are incomprehensible at this point, stretching out into something quite close to an eternity.

No he’s never been released from his cell since then, but the many years of silence and solitude have made him powerful in a different way.

He is part of the basements, the mansion, the organization itself. The walls breathe with him, not a soul passes the threshold without his notice. To some extent, he’s forgotten what it is to be a person, instead of simply an extension of the shadows.

Arthur is very secretive about his duties, even as his health declines and it becomes clear they must begin thinking of succession. He mutters about demons, of monsters, and hellfire.

There is a room, on the ground floor, nestled away to the side, with the best view of the gardens. No one is allowed there. This is our box five.

The drapes are tightly drawn, but from a few cracks Integra’s been able to make out a desk and old, worn journals.

Every two weeks, Walter may go in for twenty minutes exactly, to clean without disturbing anything. Only Walter, no other staff.

When Integra asked, he told her it was once Van Helsing’s study. It is where he kept all his arcane knowledge, where he wrote out his correspondences, where he was found dead one early morning. But that was decades ago.

Arthur himself never sets foot in the place. Integra wonders if it’s out of grief. He talks about his father often, with both disdain and reverence.

During the last year, Richard comes to live with them. To be with his brother, he says. To look after his niece. He’d execute his attempted coup a tad more gracefully; after all why kill your opponent when instead you can discredit her?

When she was younger, Integra caught her reflection grinning back at her. She told her father about it, asked him why the deepest recesses of the mansion drum like a beating heart.

Arthur’s smile froze on his face. After a moment he told her, in the forced cheerful tone one uses with children, that there were spirits watching over the house, watching over them.

“Like angels?” Little Integra had said.

And her father nodded indulgently, even as he called Walter in to have every mirror on the property covered.

She is not so naive, by the time Arthur dies. Even through her grief, she sees how Richard is making himself oh so comfortable at the manor. How his smile is sickly sweet, and the way he’s trying to set himself up as her “protector.”

During the viewing, Integra stares at her father’s cold, still body and it’s like the breath’s been stolen from her lungs. She does not weep, but she is empty.

She’s not sure she cares to challenge Richard’s silly games. Let him have the organization and it’s haunted legacy.

Integra dreams she is walking along a beach. Icy water laps at her ankles with each step. There’s a figure amidst the rocks, playing a violin. And when he looks up, he wears her father’s face but his eyes are unfamiliar.

“What are you doing here, little bird?”

“I’d ask you the same thing,” she said. “Who are you?“

“I’m no one.”

She does not remember the rest of that dream.

Richard laughs when Walter explains about the study to him. First when it’s presented as his dead brother’s wishes, then even more so when Walter claims a supernatural bent to the precaution.

However, Integra is the heir, and it is her house. She will not see her father’s wishes disrespected before he’s even cold in the ground— no matter how eccentric those wishes may be.

She gives the study key to Walter and instructs him to continue as before.

Integra is looking over the old ledgers, the first time she hears the voice. No that’s a lie. She’s heard it before, this is the first time she acknowledges it.

Her father had been rather free with government funding, it seems he didn’t see much of a distinction between business and pleasure. (She shudders at the thought of an audit) At least he had been meticulous about recording his expenses.

She goes through years of accounts, and very suddenly the extravagant spending stops. Somehow Walter’s modest budgeting is so much worse.

She’s brushing away silent tears when she hears it. The voice is muted and distant, hardly discernible. She decides to follow it.

Hellsing manor has always been a strange place, where shadows flicker in the periphery and invisible hands claw at the windows.

Integra knows this. She’s been taught to ignore it.

She isn’t sure what compels her— recklessness or grief or anger but she follows the voice, down two flights of stairs and closed off staff quarters, to the forgotten basement door that leads into an even deeper section of the mansion.

There’s a strange indescribable shift, as she senses a consciousness focus on her. Something old and long slumbering, shaking off layers of dust and disuse.

Her father had told her the basement was walled off, that the door was sealed. Bricked shut, never to be opened again

It stands ajar, inviting her inside.

Any other day, Integra thinks she would have turned back. But this time she trails down into the bowels of her home.

Somehow— she thinks there is a trick involved, a few passages did not lead where they should have— she reaches a room that she just knows is a perfect mirror of Van Helsing’s study, even if she never set foot in the place herself.

On some level she knows it probably isn’t real. But she’s determined to figure out what this thing is that slumbers beneath the manor. She’ll indulge these games to see what’s behind it all.

There is someone waiting for her. Maybe something. It’s just a silhouette, with ever shifting edges. Blurred movements, darkness barely given form.

“What are you?” she asks this time. And she knows somehow, this is the man from the dream. This is the voice she’s heard from the shadows.

He doesn’t respond. Just looks at her. When she nears him he seems to reform. To take shape into something more resembling a person. But she realizes she can’t make out a face. Any face at all.

The Bachelors decided to pay Jocasta’s family a visit to introduce their  firstborn child Michael and to get Simis’ parents to know Jocasta’s relatives better, all before the accident on 5 Sim Lane. 

Jocasta’s Side

Grandpa is the patriarch of the family and Jocasta’s father. He is solemn, soft-spoken, and full of wisdom as well as being a lumbering man–but you wouldn’t know it since he’s mostly on his rocking chair. He is the kind of man that believes magic should not be used that often and relies more on good old fashioned headology instead. He is a respected wizard in the community, so Jocasta just tells Simis and his family that Grandpa is a retired professor from SimCity. His familiar is Bathsheba the cat, who sits on his laps and spies on the neighbors for him, just for fun, while Bonehilda is a longtime family heirloom from his side of the family, and Jocasta tells everyone her coffin is just where he keeps his collection of highly allergenic dustbunnies. 

Grandma is a devoted housewife now after spending years as a magician’s assistant in Magic Town. She spends most of her time now tending to her plants and sewing things like blankets and sweaters for her relatives and relations, but she’s always got a trick up her sleeve for those who deserve a little jinx in the noggin’–like socks that keep on slipping and unreachable parts of the back itching. Grandpa looks the other way when his beloved does this.  Her familiar is the crow Bastet–which Jocasta had to explain painstakingly to her in-laws that it was not capable of cursing despite its ability to talk (and they’re lucky it’s not able to magically curse either).

Uncle is Jocasta’s older brother who works as a regular businessman at Maxis and just wants a normal life for his family. Like his father, he is more practical when it comes to magic (but in his case, it’s because of a lack of talent). But what he lacks in wizardry he makes up for it in being a good father and husband, and oftentimes a good brother for Jocasta when she needs something to cover up her bloodline.

Auntie is Uncle’s furtive wife who is filled with mood swings ever since she failed to enchant her beloved pet llama Lulu back into its original form when she mistakenly turned it into a hairy monkey wrench in her youth. She is a talented pianist and thus spends most of her time tickling the ivory keys (making up songs about Lulu, among other things), but that makes her a tad bit absent in terms of being a wife and mother. Her husband doesn’t mind, however, and just wants her to be happy.  Bratty is Uncle and Auntie’s eldest child. She takes after her grandmother in behavior but is unfortunately snooty and prone to being a generally spoiled brat. She appears sugary and sweet but her bark has a lot of bite when she doesn’t get what she wants. Her pale doll Helen is her most favorite thing in the world and her favorite activity is sending Helen to do her bidding to scare her little brother. 

Boy is Uncle and Auntie’s youngest child. He is a studious little lad who is afraid of so many things, and can often be found hiding in random spots around the house with a book in his hand and tear-stained sleeves. Poor boy’s inherited his mother’s frightened nerves and just wants to spend his time peacefully reading fables like The Tales of Toads Who Tattle and The Flamingos of August. 

Vegas is Auntie’s grouchy, pleasure-loving uncle who had spent most of his life trying his luck in casinos across SimCity with a little help from his wand. Unfortunately, the authorities detected his activities and his powers have been suspended until further notice. Now he randomly likes to crash in with this relatives, appearing from the strangest of places–from the freezer to the shower pipe–burdening them with cocktail requests. 

Cousin is Grandma’s distant cousin thrice removed (and he was removed for a reason). Grandma had invited him to stay with her and Grandpa to help care for the house since Grandpa hasn’t been well lately. Cousin means well but often says things too bluntly and isn’t much help with the housekeeping. Even so, his barbed quips entertain everyone and you would want him to help you for a party. 

The Bachelors

Milton Bachelor is a very unpleasant man. He raised Simis in a very strict household and he always expects things to go his way–the old-fashioned way. He does not tolerate tomfoolery of any kind and has a habit of saying the wrong things at the wrong time, not to mention he likes to steal little trinkets he deems interesting wherever he goes. He is a retired city council member who thinks that he’s entitled to the good things in life because he’s comparatively well-off, and looks down on his son’s profession as a writer.

Enriqueta Bachelor loves nothing more than to get on her husband’s nerves. She is downright belligerent–but out of cheerful friendliness to make up for her husband’s ‘shortcomings’. She is a cool mother and woman in general and is always doing something–whether it’s participating in late night fiestas or early morning hikes. Her clumsiness is a constant source of pain for her husband, however, as she would sometimes break the ‘trinkets’ Milton would bring home by accident.

Simis Bachelor is a freelance writer for a newspaper who just wants to make his father happy but at the same time think he’s utterly unbearable. Still, he appreciates and respects his old man despite him being a complete rhinoceros and shares his conservative views on things. Simis is much nicer, however, and keeps things to himself when he can. He was quite the charmer before Jocasta won his heart and had to break several hearts when he decided to marry this strange but endearing girl. He loves Jocasta dearly but tends to be a bit more controlling than Jocasta likes, which is a bummer for Jocasta’s free spirit. He has a lot of expectations for his son Michael and plans to teach him sports the minute he learns how to walk.

Jocasta Bachelor wanted to be an artist and, like her brother, a normal life, too. She didn’t choose to be born into a wizarding family and she certainly didn’t plan to be that talented in it too. She enjoys it, however, and quietly gets her way when Simis is not looking. She is constantly concerned that her husband and her family will find out about the magic, however, so she’s never really at rest. Luckily, she gets along well with her in-laws because they have a lot in common and Milton thinks she’s a great cook. She wonders if she could have had a different life if she had married a wizard, but always puts that thought aside when she looks at her son Michael and how she just wants Michael to be safe and happy. 

Michael Bachelor is the toddler son of Simis and Jocasta as well as Milton and Enriqueta’s first grandchild. All of them are very proud of him and dotes on him terribly. He doesn’t know it yet, but both sides of his parents’ families have high expectations for him that he would have to hurdle over when he grows up. Poor boy’s only had his first birthday and already his family had expected him to be (more or less, in each of their own terms) a success. 

So, this is a thing…

Name: Esme Wayfarer

Nicknames: None

Age: 22

Gender: Nonbinary

Pronouns: They/Them

Sexuality: Asexual

Romantic Orientation: Panromantic

Occupation: Protagonist

Situation: Came to live their cousin, Lex, and her two dads, for the summer after an incident back home. Shortly after many strange occurrences begin to happen at night. Is it real? Or is it pretend?

Appearance:

· Height: 5'7"

· Body type/build: Endomorph, comfortable with chest

· Skin tone: Warm tan

· Hair (style & color): A very dark brown, long and wavy, right side bangs

· Eyes: Round, warm brown with gold flecks

· Facial description: Symmetrical with flat top lips, face is a bit round

· Prominent features or distinguishing marks: Quite moley on back and shoulders, has a faint scar on right temple

· Style of dress: Casual and bohemian style mostly, admires feminine and grunge clothing but doesn't feel it suits them. Wears boy shorts underwear with skirts and likes long shirt pajamas.

· Mannerisms or gestures: Pretends to make eye contact but looks at eyebrows instead, tends to rub neck when flustered, smiles brighly when happy

Speech:

· Tone of voice (loud, quiet, harsh, etc.): Soft and melodic, a tad deep

· Language or accent: English, can roll R's

· Favorite phrases: None

Behavior:

· Personality: Kind and essentially a cinnamon roll; warm, sweet, and too pure for this world. Quite anxious, shy and socially awkward, scary when angry. Diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder.

· Habits: Blushes at compliments, tries making eye contact with crushes, bites their lip when thinking. Tendency to embrace during lovemaking.

· Ambition: To be the best person they can be.

· Greatest fear: Being ridiculed for anything about themself.

· Biggest secret: Wears lingerie instead of plain underwear as a confidence booster. Also, hasn't done vaginal sex but has done anal.

· How does this character get along with other characters?: As long as nobody makes them uncomfortable in any way, they're golden.

Background:

· Where born/grew up: Born and grew up in the suburbs of a big city.

· Important past events: Had been effectively been traumatized by an experience at twelve, frequently coped loneliness by playing videogames & threw themself into their studies. (Became valdictorian in both HS & college.)

· Family: Four parents; two dads, a mom, an older brother and their nibi (who sired them). A large family overall.

· Current home: In a sunny place.

· Finances: Not poor but not rich either.

· Occupation: Recent graduate.

· Education: Bachelor's degree in business and a culinary certificate.

· Health: Does yoga every morning! A bit chubby though, but still very cute.

· Religion: Agnostic theist, believes in "be good, do good."

· Interests or hobbies: Drawing, singing, practicing acoustic guitar, yoga, collecting seashells, daydreaming, listening to music, playing videogames, baking

alrighty, let’s go. I’m currently laying/sitting on a bed in my aunt and uncles house in Michigan. One of my cousins is getting married on Saturday and since I’m way closer to them than my family in New York I was able to come for it, with my mom as well. It’s a fairly complex family situation, my uncle is my mom’s brother, and he married his first wife and had two daughters, who are my biological cousins, and then he got divorced and remarried a woman with two daughters (funny enough, I only have one male cousin), who are technically our “step-cousins” but we pretty much dropped the step part of the years, and with my aunt as well becuase we used to refer to her as our “step-aunt”. Still not crazy about her, but I can see she’s motivated by a lot of insecurities, especially around my nuclear family. My two biological cousins each have two kids, the older has been with the same man for a solid 15 years now but never married, but they actually recently got engaged, but idk what’s happening with them. I know she’s a gymnastics coach and her girls are always at competitions and like always winning because they’re awesome, so I will be looking forward to seeing them again at the wedding, being that it’s been a solid 5 years since I saw them last. My younger biological cousin has always been kind of unstable, she fights a lot with her dad (my uncle) so we tend to not get to see her as much because we’re his side of the family. My mom always said she thought their mother kind of poisoned them against their father, which I would believe. So that relationship has been tumultuous. She has two kids, by the same father, but is now apparently married to some other guy, and apparently said she will not be attending the wedding because the cousin getting married didn’t put her married name on the invitation, just her maiden name, and that was apparently big enough of an issue for her to not want to attend 🙄 just a tad overdramatic. So idk if we’ll be seeing her or the littles on this trip (we somehow starting referring to all four of them as “the grand babies”, which is better than like, second cousin once removed or whatever our technical familial relationship is.  The cousin getting married is the elder of the step-cousins, she’s been with this guy for years, they bought a house together like 5 years ago, but I guess decided to get married now. She’s a certified nurse and I think she teaches classes in a local nursing program, which is pretty cool, she’s very educated and everything. My younger step-cousin is two years younger than me and I’ve bonded with her a lot considering I don’t have any relatives that are actually my own age. She wants to go to law school and is currently studying for the LSAT, so I’ve been talking to her about that a lot. So that’s the background info for all of this, lol, so now I’ll talk about my day. I wanted to leave my house for the airport at 1, so I set my alarm for 11, thinking 2 hours would be plenty of time to finish packing (which was very minimal at this point) and get going. So I did wake up then, had some breakfast, then hopped in the shower since I’m trying to do the whole morning shower thing because my hair looks much better when it’s just been dried than when I wake up in the morning having showered the night before. So I did that, threw some stuff together and was ready to go. Got in an uber, it was nice out, got to the airport faily quickly. The stupid check in kiosk didn’t want to take my card so I had to go get a staff person and they were thinking I was some clueless person who didn’t know what I was doing and I was just like “no, I’ve done this a million times before I swear, it just didn’t want to take my card!!” lol, but it all worked out fine. Line for security wasn’t bad, when I went through the scanner it showed something weird in my “groin” area, which has happened at least once before, and that time was very strange because I was wearing yoga pants and they were like “is there something in your pockets?” and I was like “I don’t even have pockets” but this time I did at least have a metal zipper so. but I got patted down and cleared and that was that. Walked down to the gate, the assessed my nearby food options, and got some food. Waited a bit more, got to board, and we were off. Someone had started the easy sudoku puzzle in the inflight magazine, so I went to the medium which I was able to solve without much trouble. I filled in a few for the hard one but then lost interest, so I went back to the fanfic I had on my phone and read that. It was a short flight so we were touching down pretty soon. Got off the plane, went to baggage claim, got bag, then sat down by the baggage claim waiting for my mom to arrive, who was on a flight from NY that landed a while after mine. It got in a bit early though, so I met up with my mom and it took for-fucking-ever to get her bag, but we did, and then we got picked up by my uncle who took us back to his house where we’re staying (and where I’m typing this from). DId all the hellos and everything, then had some spaghetti for dinner, because you can’t go wrong with spaghetti. I talked and hung out with my younger cousin for a bit while doing some bar prep practice questions, and then I went to sit with my uncle, aunt, and mother, who were watching the atrocious Catwoman movie made way back when, and continued to do questions so I didn’t have to pay full attention to the movie. I managed to get most of the bar prep stuff for the day finished, just not the lectures but there weren’t any 3 hour ones, they were shorter, so that’s good. I guess we’ll see how tomorrow goes, apparently we’re going to the rehearsal dinner but that’s not till later on so idk what the plan for the day is. Guess we’ll see. and yeah, after that I started getting ready for bed and am now here. It’s getting late (in the eastern time zone now so we’re an hour later than Chi) and I’m getting sleeping so I’m going to end this here. Goodnight sweeties. Happy Friday.

I swear to the one -eyed flying dorito in my dreams, that this stuff is my lifeblood. It's the Cipher family out on a "walk"- mum (Mama Cipher- still need a first name for her!), dad (holding the "camera" or whatever it is you young demons use nowadays to capture the moment!), Kill (the older brother- I'm undecided as to whether he's a triplet in this AU), Will (older (?) twin) and Bill (younger (?) twin).

In case you're wondering, yes, there is a reason why Mama Cipher looks a little... Strange-ish. Her brother, is Tad Stange's father, making Tad cousins with Bill, Will and Kill! Mama C.'s shirt is related to her four children (cos the square (like the Strange family) is made of FOUR triangles), and YES, I said FOUR. There's another child, they're just not in the picture for... "tragic backstory" reasons that I haven't entirely come up with (I feel like the fourth child would have an "Elsa situation" where they (probably a she) have some sort of problem or disease or disability, so they have to be locked up or kept inside). Also, I feel like Mama C. is like all four of her children in some way.

She can be quite the bookworm, and is often kind and gentle, like Will.

On the other hand, when she is in her element, she can be really loud and boisterous, often dragging her husband into the "fun" like Bill.

But, she is very defensive about her children, even going so far as to shoot someone who harmed her children (in a drawing I did).

All in all, she is one boss-ass b*tch, who is also a really big nerd :)

If you wanna know anything else, just ask! If you ask a character something, I'll have them respond to you!

(E.g. "Bill, what do you think about doritos?" Or, "Kill, what do you think about being the older brother?")

FUCKING READ THIS MY GIRL IS FUCKING TALENTED OMG

Katie Chapman Mr. Price 3rd hour 6/3/15 The REAL Last Chapter Now you may think that The Adventures of Huck Finn is over, seeing as the chapter was called “Last” and all, but it ain’t yet. If you’re willin’ to hear it, I gots a few more details to say that good ol’ Mr. Twain couldn’t get outta me. When me and Jim was floatin’ on down the Mississippi, we ran into a little trouble that I w’rnt ready to talk about yet when I was asked to talk long before that book came out, but Jim’s been tellin’ me I outta just come out with it. He says it’s bad luck for a young boy to be keepin’ secrets from all you people, or somethin’ like that. “Jus’ come on, Huck. Tell ‘em ‘bout tha story, ain’t nobody gon’ think diff’ntly o’ve yah. Yah wanna keep’n good wit dah spirits don’ yah?” So this one’s for Jim, I s’pose, and ‘cuz I’m goin’ crazy here in Aunt Sally’s house a “sivilization” and I need somethin’ to keep me from goin’ barkin’ mad. It was just after we’d left the Grangerford massacre, Jim and I went down the river just a short ways. Seein’ the murderin’ of Buck and his kin was a lot for me to handle at the time, but I was gettin’ over it pretty quick. We was just maybe thirty mere minutes off the land where i left the bodies when i decided to start looking around for somewhere new to go. All’ve a’sudden my eyes got themselves set on something over on the island that we had just done left. At first I was sure it was just a strange lookin’ bush, but as we got closer it got all clear; it was a girl. Now I done been around plenty of girls, but she was a diff’nt kinda sight. Her long brown hair was nice and breezy in the wind, and her face was like a little angel from that heavan that Aunt Sally been talkin’ ‘bout; she was the purdiest thing I’d ever seen. “Jim,” I says, “do you see that too?” “See what mistah Huck? Ain’t nothin but a little girl wadin’ in dah watah.” “Isn’t she purdy, Jim? Isn’t she a rare such sight?” “Why mistah Huck, I hain’t nevah seen yah like this evah be-foe. I think a little boy is tuhnin’ intah a man.” I sat there on the raft, tryin’ to look away from this girl. I didn’t wanna become a man yet, I’m happy bein’ a boy, well in the respect of bein’ with girls n’such. I looked over to Jim and he was givin’ me this strange kinda grin. “Now, what’s that face for Jim? You thinkin’ of a funny joke or somethin?” “Nah mistah Jim. I thinks you’s in love. You’s fallin’ intah feelins’ for a little girl.” “No Jim, you gots it all wrong. I just ain’t never seen somethin’ like this before, and we’re gonna go check it out.” Then i told him to steer us over back to the island, and towards the girl we headed. When we got to the island, the girl was gone. I had been so focused on trying to get the raft to the island that I done forgot to make sure she was still there. The night was comin’ close and I didn’t want to get caught in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night by a Sheperdson who had seen me with Buck and end the same way he did so me an’ Jim found a place to tie up the raft and slept out under a tree for the night. “Jim,” I says. “You think she’ll be back tomorrow?” “Well, mistah Huck, seems to me tha if she comin’ ‘round today theys a sr’ng pos-bilty tha she gon’ be back tm’row.” I don’t know why, but for some reason I sure hoped he was right. Sure ‘nough, Jim was right. We woke up when the sun was right up high in the middle of the sky and river was just a’shimmerin’ in the daylight. I got up and no sooner had I rubbed my eyes, they set their sights on that purdy little thing same as before. She was walkin towards me and Jim and had a curious look on her face, like she was tryin’ to figure out if we was real or not. “Hi there,” she calls out. “Well hello ma’am,” I replied real polite-like. “What’s your name? I’m Deliah but everyone calls me Delly.” Gosh, even her voice was mighty purdy. I found myself stutterin’ a deal and gettin’ all choked up. “The name’s Frank Hill, this here’s my nigger Julius. We live up the river a ways, or really lived. These men showed up one day while we were tending to our horses and without no warning shot my poor old Pa dead and my momma died a shock a just seein’ her husband bein’ killed and all. I woulda been shot too i s’pose but Julius here hid me behind a tree and blocked me from the men. I guess the men didn’t have no need for killin’ a nigger cause they just pranced right on by without a word to be said. With my Ma and Pa both dead and no one but a nigger left in the world, i built this raft here and we went a sailin’, and that’s how we come to be here.” She looked at me real concerned and opened her mouth to speak, but shut it before making a sound. “My Ma and Pa are lookin for a new nigger to help with the animals and the house and we have an extra room. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind at all havin’ a few more people ‘round the house.” “That’s mighty kind of ya ma’am. I’ll talk to Julius and see what he thinks.” I looked to Jim with a smile. For some reason, the idea of going to stay with Delly and her family seemed so nice and i was sure hoping Jim would agree. “Now I don’ know ‘bout-” I had to interrupt. “Oh Jim it’ll only be for a little while,” I whisper so only Jim can hear me, “and then we can sneak away and keep goin’.” “Well I s’pose.” I turned back to Delly and gave her the biggest smile i could muster and said, “We’d be honored to have a place in your home.” She smiled real big and pretty and motioned for us to follow her. I was nervous goin’ to her house, especially ‘cause no one was sayin’ nothin’. I don’t know why but I really wanted her to like me, so that meant her family had to like me too. Finally, we were at the gate of her house and the walk of silence was over. Delly ran up to the door, “Mama, Papa, we have some people who need to stay with us!” All at once, a million similar lookin’ folks came hustlin’ out the huge fancy lookin’ door and on to the huge porch which easily fit them all. “Who you got there Delly,” says a big man who i figure to be the head of the house. “This is Frank Hill and his nigger Julius. They lived down the island a ways but some men killed his Ma and Pa and now all he’s all alone with only his nigger, so i told him they could live here.” Then she smiled really purdy-like at the crowd of people all together on the porch and the mood seemed to lighten. The big man smiled. “That’s mighty good of ya, Delly.” He turned to me and says, “Now tell me boy, you sure you want tah settle yourself with this big, mad family?” “Why, yes sir I would. Long as it’s okay that my nigger Julius here can stay right along with me. He’s the only thing close to kin I got left, and after the way he saved me from those men and I feel it’s my duty to keep him with me.” The man thought for a second, looked to me, then looked to Jim and said, “You willing to do some work?” “Yes suh I am,” Jim says back. Boy was I grateful for how willing Jim was in all this, I still haven’t paid him back properly for that. But anyways, the man’s face softened and he smiled real big. “Then it looks like we’ve added two new members to the clan,” he says and the whole porch cheered and laughed. An older woman, who we found out later was Delly’s Ma named Paula, led us inside and told us where was fixin’ to stay. She told us all about the people in the house and lemme tell ya, they’re sure an interestin’ bunch. Delly’s Pa’s name was Bill, they call him Big Papa Bill, i think its just to make his head a tad bigger than it is already but i don’t know for sure. He once wrestled a bear with only the two fists his mama borned him with and beat the poor bear so bad it ain’t even had the sense to stand up no more, he’s a real tough kinda man. Delly’s got a brother named Harney, gosh that name sounds familiar but i just can’t place it, probably my head messin’ with me I s’pose. They had some other cousins or somethin’ in the house before too but they went off and found their own lives’ somewhere in the gun makin’ business. “They had a job here and they finished it and now the problem is gone so they’s got no more business here,” Miss Paula explained. I almost asked what their business here was but somethin’ told me i didn’t wanna know. Miss Paula led me an’ Jim up a big staircase and down a hall filled with what seemed to be a thousand doors goin’ in every direction. When we got to the end of the big hall, she unlocked a door and told me that i was to stay here and it was mine until i didn’t wanna call it mine anymore and that there was some shirts and britches in there for me to wear. Then she told me to go find Delly and she will show me more a the house, and she took Jim out back to a separate house where I saw some more niggers hangin’ around. I wanted to go with her and Jim but I figured it best to do as she said so I set off to find Delly, that wasn’t so hard to do since it wasn’t hard to spot somethin’ so nice and pretty in a group a people, and ‘cause she was waiting for me just at the bottom of the steps. “Come on Frank,” Delly insisted, “it’s almost dark and there’s still so much i wanna show ya!” So I followed as she took me and showed me their kitchen that was bigger than ma and Pa’s place by double. “This is where Mama cooks dinner for all of us. I’ll tell ya, you’re gonna love her cookin’. She used to let our house maid Patrice do all the cookin’ but we all had a talk and agreed that Mama’s cookin’ was too good not to have her cook, so Patrice just tends to the gardenin’ and stuff now.” That made me wonder what Jim’ll be doin’ and if he’ll be happy here or not. I know he really don’t wanna be here but atleast we have a roof over our heads and some good food to eat along the way. Delly took me into the sittin’ room after that and there was a woman in a chair that I hadn’t yet been told about. I couldn’t see her face ‘cause she was turned away from the door but she looked mighty similar to a woman I had seen before. This time I had to let my curiousness get the best of me. “Who’s that girl there in the chair?” “Oh dear me, I almost forgot to tell you all about Sophia! She came to be with Harney, see she was a Grangerford.” Delly said the name Grangerford with such disgustedness that it made me a bit suspicious. At the sound of hearing her name, the girl Sophia turned around, and there it was plain as day. Sittin’ in that big ‘ol fancy chair across from me was Sophia Grangerford, Buck’s sister, the sister that ran away with a Sheperdson. I was tryin’ to figure out why on earth she was here and not with the Shepardsen boy when another thought hit me, Harney was Delly’s brother, Harney Sheperdson. Delly was a Sheperdson and I was livin’ with her. Oh how glad I was Buck was dead right then ‘cause he woulda shot me dead for bein’ held up by a Sheperdson, but I had to know for sure. “Delly?” “Yes,Frank?” “What’s your last name?” “Why, Sheperdson of course. I figured you’d have just assumed that. Everybody knows who we are, especially after we got rid of those rotten Grangerfords once and for all.” “Dell,” Sophia warned. “Sorry, Soph,” Delly apologized, “I forgot, no Grangerford talk around you.” “Say Dell, I know this boy. Name’s George Jackson, he stayed with us back at the old home. He was real good friends with my brother Buck.” “No no Soph, you must be tired. This here’s Frank Hill, and he’s just from down the river. Go get some rest before dinner, you look mighty pale.” “I s’pose you’re right Dell, I must’ve worked myself to hard today.” Sophia gave me one last questioning look before goin’ back to her spot on the chair she was in when we came. I had to get outta there. “Hey, I’m not feelin’ too good all of a sudden,” I gagged, “I’m gonna go talk to Julius. He always know how to handle me in this kinda situation.” “Okay Frank, feel better. Dinner is in a few hours so be back and ready by then, I’m going to go freshen up myself.” She turned and walked up the big staircase and disappeared into one of the million doors. I had to hurry, I didn’t wanna be stayin’ there any longer than I had too. I ran out back to the nigger house and found Jim right away. He was out laughin’ and jokin’ with all the rest of them slaves, he seemed to be enjoyin’ himself a mighty deal. I almost felt bad takin’ him out just as soon as he got all comfortable there, but we had to go. “Jim, we gotta go. These folks, they’re the Sheperdsons’. They find out who I really am and they gonna shoot me dead and you too for comin with me. I’ll tell ya Jim, first and last time I ever follow a girl anywhere. I done learned my lesson so you ain’t gotta say I told you so or nothin. Let’s just go.” And boy was I grateful in that moment for Jim not sayin’ nothin’. We just got up and ran. We ran to find our raft and sailed off into that mighty big river an’ never looked back.

Lucius Trevelyan: Character Profile

I might as well admit this character’s not going away, so he’ll get a little profile

(this one’s a tad bit shorter than Cadash & Adaar’s cos I never really intended to go anywhere with him, but I‘m still jamming it under a read more. For tradition.)

History: 

Lucius Trevelyan is the youngest son in his family, having one older sister and two older brothers, making him basically surplus to requirement as far as House Trevelyan goes.

He was trained in martial skills in his youth in addition to having a private tutor in the normal subjects (history, theology, natural sciences, mathematics, a little diplomacy that only partially stuck).

In his late teens he went through his ‘rebellious” phase and joined the city guard at Ostwick for a few years, although he was never allowed to participate in the more dangerous patrols (although he didn’t know that until much later, when he happened to overhear the guard captain laughing about it with one of the lieutenants - he’d been allowed to join and stay because his father had given the guard captain permission, with some limitations, thinking Lucius would ‘get it out of his system”).

His father had considered giving him to the chantry to become a Templar when he was a child, but his mother was quite attached to him and doted on him, and protested at the idea. She didn’t want him to be separated from his family for such lengths of time.

For the most part, Lucius had a very privileged and insulated upbringing. His family spent their time split between a country estate several miles outside of Ostwick and a large manor house in the city, and he saw little else of the world. He had some considerable skill with a greatsword and had participated in the Grand Tourney on a few occasions in his twenties and thirties. He never brought home the top prize, but he always ranked respectably.

His family were participants in the proceedings at the Conclave, as they were well-connected with the Templars, many Trevelyans over the generations having joined the order. Several of Lucius’s cousins were also present with the Templars. He was not a Templar himself, but being a devout Andrastean and one interested in combat in general, he’d always been fascinated by the order.

That he later reaches out to the remaining Templars, and indeed chooses to take up the Templar’s training, if not formally join their order, is hardly surprising.

Personality/orientations: 

Lucius Trevelyan grew up on a steady diet of history (not exactly unbiased, though) and tales of chivalry and adventure. He had something of an overactive imagination as a child and dreamed of making a name for himself with feats of arms.

His eldest brother was the one who was groomed as his father’s successor, and his middle brother was the one who took up the day-to-day running of the estate and the family’s finances. That left Lucius with a great deal of freedom in some ways, but in other ways he was sheltered and cosseted - mostly by his mother, who doted on him and kept him close. His father loved his mother deeply and did not have the heart to take her “pet” away, but tried to balance her influence by making sure Lucius had opportunities for more vigorous pursuits. He made sure Lucius learned how to handle a sword and encouraged his enthusiasm for the warrior’s arts.

On the whole, the end result was a somewhat fanciful and sentimental personality, although it would be foolish to assume that Lucius is stupid. He’s a bit ignorant of the ways of the world and kind of dense in some ways, his ideas about the “little people” are a bit backward, to say the least. He hasn’t seen the worst of the world and doesn’t quite believe it.

He does have an intense loyalty to those who aid him as well as a strong sense of honor. He wants to see justice done, even if he doesn’t always have the wisdom to know what justice really is. He’s not afraid to spill blood, either, and is perfectly capable of being quite spiteful toward those he feels have done him wrong, or have hurt those he believes were defenseless.

It is shortly after his 42nd birthday that the Conclave’s disastrous events occur and he is declared the “Herald of Andraste” and he embraces the title enthusiastically. It’s as though he’s finally the main character in one of his childhood storybooks and he couldn’t be more pleased. He truly believes he is the Maker’s chosen and that he was appointed to save the world from the Breach, and, later, Corypheus himself. Nothing ever quite completely divests him of this belief, even after his memories return and he learns the “mark” was given to him accidentally. He still believes the hand of providence spared his life, somehow.  it’s all a bit silly, but good luck getting him to see sense.

Oh, and he’s very, very gay. He has zero interest in women. He’s friendly with them, but does not connect with them deeply, with few exceptions, and definitely does not want to climb into bed with any of them.

Relationships:

Lucius has had a few boyfriends over the years, but none of them really worked out in the long run. Some he parted on good terms, a couple ended quite dramatically, but them’s the breaks I guess.

Once he’s the Inquisitor, he takes quite an interest in a few of his new comrades, although his success is... mixed. He flirted shamelessly with Cullen until the other man finally cottoned onto what he was doing and turned him down flat (alas!) and Blackwall was clearly uninterested from the start (tragedy!). Dorian seemed interested in him, but the Tevinter mage was a bit young. And a little clean-cut for Lucius’s taste - he likes a lover who isn’t afraid to get dirty (in oh so many ways).

Then they recruit the Iron Bull and Lucius is basically dribbling down his shirt on a regular basis. Took ages for him to get any real response out of Bull, but apparently a bit of dragon-slaying is the way to a freshly-minted Tal-Vashoth’s heart, and Lucius couldn’t be more pleased.

Lucius is fairly outgoing, not completely extroverted but hardly reserved either. He enjoys socializing and is found in the Herald’s Rest frequently. He gets along well with the warriors in the group, and finds himself agreeing with Cullen and Cassandra most of the time. Blackwall’s a bit harder for him to read, and he sees less of the Grey Warden than the others, as the man tends to keep himself to himself. He appreciates Josephine’s insight although sometimes he feels she is too kind. He enjoys Varric’s stories (and pretty much everyone likes Varric anyway). He and Vivienne have some interesting conversations. Solas confuses the hell out of him but is.... cordial. Sera confuses the hell out of him and is.... less than cordial. Although he finds her kind of amusing in her own way. Lucius is rather attached to Cole despite not really being keen on spirits. He knows he would have been demon chow at Therinfal if Cole had not intervened, and he feels he owes the strange boy a life debt and intends to defend Cole so long as he chooses to remain with the Inquisition.

Colors: gold, white and blue

Song: (to be determined, prob something silly by Vampire Weekend idk)

ABCs of M-E!

Tagged! By @insanitysbloomings

A - Age: 29. Is that considered old around here?

B - Biggest Fear: Failing when it matters. It wasn’t until I was put in a position of some authority that this really became clear to me. I’m so scared of screwing up and failing something big when it’s someone else that feels the repercussions.

C - Current time: 2:08 am. Hahaha, whoops…

D - Drink you last had: Water. I keep my water bottle handy AT ALL TIMES.

E - Everyday starts with: Snoozing my alarm at least three times, then reading something on my phone (Facebook, Tumblr, fics, whatever) to wake my brain up. On good days, I manage to remember to pray before getting ready to go.

F - Favorite Song: Aaaaaaauuuuugh! Um…I am actually way into We Are by One OK Rock right now, which is my favorite band. (I also really super badly want to make a Voltron music video to it because CAN’T YOU JUST HEAR IT?? But I’m a crap video editor, even though I have so many IDEAS. Hmu if you wanna try it yourself!)

G - Ghosts, are they real?: Yes, I believe they are, though I don’t think they are all wicked and dangerous. They are just as varied as the people they were in life.

H - Hometown: I claim Lumberton, NC, where I lived from the time I was 5-16. Those were my development years, even though I moved to Utah and lived there way longer after that.

I - In love with: the idea of being in love. *shrug* I can’t say that I’ve ever experienced it, though. This makes one just a tad bitter towards chick flicks, I must say…

J - Jealous of: My older sister’s hair. She’s a natural redhead and I’ve always considered her to be the most beautiful woman I know. Even when I dyed my own it didn’t last very long.

K - Killed Someone: Um, do video games count? Or fictional characters? Because have mercy, is this really the only question you could think to ask for K? Jeez…

L - Last time you cried: Literally looking at my student loan debt.

M - Middle Name: My grandmother’s first name! Though funny story, she doesn’t like it and prefers to go by HER middle name, but when my mom named me after her, she was all “Great, now I have to like it.” XD My cousins didn’t believe me when I told them it was her first name and that she goes by her middle.

N - Number of Siblings: Five! Three older brothers, one older sister and one younger sister. Yes, we got a lot of strange looks when my parents trooped us out in public, but I wouldn’t trade them for ANYTHING! I love my family.

O - One Wish: Financial stability for all of my loved ones and me. For real.

P - Person you last called/text: My friend, to let her know I had arrived to help decorate for a dance tomorrow.

Q - Question you’re always asked: I feel like this is supposed to be a question that’s easy to answer, but I don’t think there’s really a question that I get all the time. I often heard “I wish I could draw like that!” when I was studying art in college, but that’s mostly dropped off now that I don’t draw as much anymore.

R - Reason to smile: Most things! I am very easily entertained and have a really hard time keeping a straight face. XD And when I’m in the mood for a laugh, there’s always a few thoughts and memories I keep handy for just such an occasion. :D

S - Song You Last sang: Hahaha, see Favorite Song above. I looked it up to link it, then listened to it and couldn’t help but sing along.

T - Time you woke up: 8 am. When I had to leave at 8:30, haha!

U - Underwear color: White. *shrug* So I’m boring.

V - Vacation Destination: Japan, with about a thousand more dollars available to me. Other countries, though, would be New Zealand and parts of western Europe.

W - Worst Habit:  Picking at scabs. I have COUNTLESS small scars all over my arms and face because of this, in conjunction with bad acne.

X - X-rays: Um…heck I dunno. I had X-rays when I broke my ankle, but that was, like, six years ago. I’ve been in a couple car wrecks since, so I think I must have had X-rays done then…

Y - Your favorite foods: Cheesecake! Miso ramen, rich hot chocolate, grilled salmon, I could go on and on…

Z - Zodiac Sign: Aquarius!

Tag! You’re it! Except not really. I don’t much like tagging people for some reason. *shrug* Reblog and fill out if you want!