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electrasev5nwrites · 8 months

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Ninja Daily: AIC 36

She used hiraishin to return to her office in Kirigakure. She sat the rug down and unrolled it enough that Orochimaru's pale face could be seen. Then she pulsed her chakra and cleared her throat. "Security," Aiko called. Her voice was still a bit off, but much closer to her usual pitch. Her throat was quickly healing. "If you don't mind, can someone come in here?"

The black operative who answered her call was clearly about 70% certain that he was walking into a trap, but he obediently entered the office. She could tell that he was looking at the body on the floor.

"I would like someone from T&I," Aiko said. "Asai-san. And a medic." She cast a dispassionate glance at Orochimaru. "He seems quite dead, but you never know. It's good to check." She set the stolen knife on her desk.

The operative hesitated. "Mizukage-sama," they said. "It is protocol-"

"Not to leave me alone with a prospective threat, I know," Aiko agreed. She used her bare toes to push Orochimaru's face over. "I think it's fine. Go."

While she was alone, she tossed the sheets to the floor near a wall. That was all the time she had before a chuunin hurried in. Their vest marked them as a tower guard- ah, they must have been alerted by one of the proximity alarms.

"Good evening," she said.

"Good evening," the man parroted back. He couldn't meet her eye. He, too, was looking at the body on the floor. "I- how can I help you, Mizukage-sama?"

Aiko hummed. "I could use a set of clothes from my house," she said. "Body sheets, I don't have time for a shower but I don't feel clean. Oh, coffee and something light to eat would be good. And is there a 24-hour coin laundry nearby?" She jerked her head at Orochimaru's silk sheets. "I don't trust those, but I love them."

The chuunin bowed. "I'll have a wet washcloth sent up from downstairs, then take the fabric to a laundromat on my way to retrieve clothes, wipes, and food from your home."

"Acceptable,"' Aiko said. "Thank you."

He was barely out the door when two more black ops agents flashed in. They seemed to want to stand menacingly at either side of the door waiting for orders, so she let them at it and sat down at her desk.

Orochimaru remained still and dead, as he had been doing for the last ten minutes or so. It was the most agreeable she'd ever seen him. She hoped that he would continue the good work.

A different chuunin came in and offered her a plastic box with two warm, wet towels. She edged a little conspicuously away from Orochimaru. Aiko dismissed the woman and then tried to wipe off the smell of antiseptics and death. It didn't really work, but it took the edge off.

For lack of anything else to do, she began to look through the notes waiting from Nishikawa-san. He had listed the paperwork awaiting her attention. A pile that just needed to be signed off on could be immediately addressed, so she searched those out in the orange folder the note described and went to work with a pen and her seal of office. Pay bump, approved. New regulations for hallway width in clinics to accommodate stretchers, approved. Planning permit for an outpost on Wave, approved. Adjustment to the tax code-

"Mizukage-sama." The first Black Operative was back, with Asai-san and an elderly woman who Aiko did not recognize. "Asai-san, and the medic recommended by the current Head of Affairs on-shift at the hospital, Okuno-sensei."

"Thank you," Aiko said. She glanced down and stamped once more. "Okuno-sensei, please confirm that Orochimaru-san is sufficiently dead. Asai-san, oversee and verify."

They were professionals who didn't need her peering over their shoulders, so she went back to her paperwork.

"Deceased," Okuno-sensei reported after a time. She stood up to her full height, a towering 148cm. Aiko realized that, for once, she was not the shortest adult in the room. "Cause of death was a stopped heart. Traces of poison in system."

"Poison? That wasn't me," Aiko said idly. "I wonder how often people try to kill him."

"It's possible that it was his poison, given the subject," Okuno-sensei allowed. "Is there anything in specific you would like me to look for?"

She thought about it. Orochimaru had wanted to look at her, and look where that had gotten him. He hadn't killed her quite dead enough, and then she'd gotten up and killed him. But he had gotten all sorts of bodily enhancements that would be quite interesting to her intelligence departments. Waste not, want not. "I think that I would like him beheaded," she said. "The body can be examined in a secure location. I'll keep the head."

Maybe on her wall.

"Yes, Mizukage-sama," Okuno-sensei said. "Would you like me to do that here, or in my lab?"

Aiko winced. "I don't want anything on my rug," she said. "It's nice, isn't it?"

Okuno-sensei paused. "Yes," she agreed. "Very soft."

"Thank you," Aiko said, even though she'd prompted the compliment. "I stole it from Orochimaru. I don't think he needs it anymore, and I hate to waste."

"Ah."

She couldn't see what Okuno-sensei thought of that, because Aiko was in the process of approving shipping contract renegotiations.

"Perhaps you should have it steam-cleaned," Okuno-sensei suggested. Her tone was very mild.

"I think that would be a good idea as well," Asai-san spoke up for the first time.

Aiko nodded indulgently. "Fair enough. Although he kept a much cleaner house than I would have expected," she allowed. She remembered the long, empty hallways and antiseptic smell. "Aside from all the venom, it was nearly a hospital."

"The venom is an important exception to the cleanliness," Okuno-sensei said. "Shall I take the body away by myself?"

"No, no." Aiko finished the paper she was on and stood. "It would be a little irresponsible to let him out of my sight. Where in the hospital would you like to work?"

"The west ward, on the third floor," came the prompt response. Asai-san watched with a rather ambiguous expression as Aiko came around her desk and began lifting Orochimaru's feet. One of her security guards rushed to lift his arms, and then another gently inserted himself to take Orochimaru's feet out of Aiko's grip. She let him do it and stood to the side. She placed one hand on Orochimaru's stomach, deliberately feeling to extend her connection to the two people holding him. "Okuno-sensei, Asai-san," she said. "If you don't mind, please touch my arm." She held out her left hand. When they did, she took the whole party to the hospital.

Okuno-sensei blinked at the third floor reception desk. The nurse behind it stood so fast that her curls bounced.

Her aim was a little off. "My mistake," Aiko said. "This is the central area, isn't it?"

"Yes, but it's quite fine," Okuno-sensei said calmly. "We can walk from here. Nakata-san, would you let the Head doctor know that I am back in the hospital and will be using operation room 2?"

The nurse nodded. Her eyes were very wide as she watched the odd procession take off towards the west wing of the hospital. Daylight was beginning to pour through the windows as they set the body on a table and the doctor quite clinically separated the head from the body with a chakra scalpel. It made a mess. Aiko was glad that the mess was not on her rug, especially since Orochimaru's blood sizzled when it made contact with oxygen.

"Hm." Okuno-sensei observed this from a safe distance. She leaned forward, but did not touch the blood. "Perhaps… May I put the head into a plastic bag for you, Mizukage-sama? And may I assume that the body is to be released into Asai-san's custody?"

"That's probably a good idea," Aiko agreed. "Thank you. And yes, I'd like that examined, Asai-san. Carefully." When she had her prize in hand, she returned to her office. The chuunin was nervously waiting with a small bag in his left hand and two larger ones in his right. He watched as she put Orochimaru's head on a shelf between some books. "Karin-san chose the clothing," he said. "She informed me that I should make you an omelet in your kitchen and enclose a salad. I hope that is acceptable." He held out the small bag.

"Thank you," Aiko said. "That's fine." She accepted the bag of food and peered inside to see sesame seed salad dressing cheerily perched on top of two plastic containers. There was also a bottle of milk, a box of juice, and an apple. "Clothes, please." The man stiffly handed her the bags- one only held her black ankle boots. "The sanitary sheets?"

"On your desk." He bowed. "By your leave, Mizukage-sama."

"A coffee, please," Aiko said as he left. She was already stripping off Orochimaru's shirt and reaching for the body wipes. She wiped off the lingering sensation of fear and antiseptic and pulled on the clothes that Karin had picked out. Apparently, Karin thought that Aiko might need the confidence boost from an expensive set of glittery underwear today. She had paired it with slim-fitting grey pants and a low-cut blue shirt. There was a plastic baggie with coverup, mascara, and a bold red lipstick.

Karin, Aiko thought, was a very clever little girl. The last thing in the bag was her dark blue jacket with her title embroidered on the back. It was a perfectly acceptable outfit for meeting with someone fairly important, as well as comfortable and practical.

She sat down at her desk and ate. Orochimaru glared dolefully at the doorway and slowly leaked venom into the bag. The chuunin returned with a cup of coffee in shaking hands. "What's the time?" she asked.

He checked his watch. "5:42."

Aiko nodded slowly. "Thank you. That will be all. Oh, take these out to Nishikawa-san's desk on your way out." He accepted the papers that she gave him and closed her office door behind him.

Because she was not an absolute lunatic who was willing to bother someone at this hour for a meeting, Aiko worked quietly and got ahead on the day's work. The sun fully rose, so she shut off the office light to conserve electricity. Staff began trickling in. The office hummed with soft movement- the flutter of paper as they took turns stamping the attendance book, the trickle of coffee percolating, the sound of windows being opened to let in the cool morning air.

Nishikawa knocked at her door and came inside just enough to make eye contact. "Good morning," he greeted. He held up several envelopes that probably held the paperwork she'd already finished and had put on his desk. "Is there anything else that I should send with the morning mail?"

"Yes, here." She gestured to the appropriate pile on her desk. It included two complete folders. "Thank you. I don't have any meeting scheduled for the morning, do it?"

"You do not," he politely confirmed as he crossed the room to retrieve the paperwork. "Should I write anything down?"

Aiko nodded and leaned back. "Yes, I'm going to go on an errand," she said. "Please put on my schedule that I'll be in a meeting with the Hokage from about 9am."

Nishikawa glanced at the clock, which said 8am. "Does the Hokage know?" he asked. The question was only a little cheeky- he wanted to know if he had missed some communications.

"He does not know," Aiko confirmed. "It's a surprise meeting. I hope that I'm not interrupting anything important." She did not bother to sound particularly sincere. The Hokage would make time for a visit from the Mizukage, especially when the Mizukage chose to ask for a meeting by waiting in line at the first-floor reception area of Hokage tower.

After a break for tea and a snack, that was exactly what she did. She was pleased but not terribly surprised that the waiting line in the lobby was very quiet. She nodded a 'good morning' to anyone who made eye contact, but most people were looking at the plastic bag idling and twisting near her thigh. It was secured by a handle of thick pink yarn around her wrist. A purple logo against Orochimaru's ear declared that the bag had come from a cake shop.

...It was hard to find a bag large enough for a human head on short notice.

It didn't take long for someone to come to fetch her. Raidou cleared his throat.

She nodded at him. Didn't think about near-murders in other timelines. Death was such a funny and impermanent thing. No consequences, no relief. She took a moment to tap Orochimaru's head, looking for a reaction. Nothing.

"Good morning, Mizukage-sama." His tone was perfectly even and polite. "Actually, you don't need to wait in line. Please follow me."

"Are you certain?" Aiko asked. "I'm nearly to the front of the line. I don't want to be rude."

"It's fine," he confirmed. He led her up the stairs.

Sarutobi was waiting in his office for her. So were his advisors, Nara Shikaku, and Danzou. Everyone murmured a polite good morning. Nara-san held out a chair for her and gestured that she could put her bag on the side table. She did so delicately.

The third Hokage was staring at it. Conscientiously, Aiko reached out again and readjusted the bag so that the face was pointing towards the Hokage. He did not wince, but he might have wanted to.

"I thought that you might like to know that this issue has been resolved," Aiko said. She kept her tone quite mild. "I'm sorry that I did not schedule a meeting in advance, but I am glad to see that such an august body could meet on short notice."

"Of course," Homura said weakly. "It was no trouble."

Nara bowed as well. The Hokage did not make a move to speak, so he asked, "What can we do for you, Mizukage-sama?"

Aiko crossed her ankles and tilted her head. "Well, I believe that Konoha and the Fire Daimyo jointly offered a bounty for Orochimaru-san," she said. "That can be sent to Kirigakure's general account through the post office bank. You have the routing numbers, I believe. And if you would get out a map, I can mark the locations of Orochimaru-san's former bases, so that you can investigate them. As they are mostly in Fire Nation, I wouldn't presume to step on any toes."

It would take time for any Konoha shinobi to reach even the closest base. She'd go there on her way home and clear out anything particularly valuable. But it was polite to tell them about their holes in security.

"Of course," Danzo said stiffly.

Since she was already in Konoha-

"Oh, and I'd like to speak with Namikaze-san on my students' behalves. I believe that he was the point of contact when they were questioned after Orochimaru-san's chuunin-exams aggression." She flipped her braid back over her shoulder.

"…Is this about that apology letter?" Sanbi asked her.

Yes. How would she know the letter was sufficiently sincere if she didn't see him write it?

Slowly, the Sandaime looked past her to make eye contact with his advisors. She was polite enough not to turn her head to watch whatever they were silently communicating. "Fine," the Sandaime said. "Would someone fetch Namikaze-sama, please?"

Ah. Sama. Perhaps she ought to have been a little politer. She contemplated that as an ANBU fucked off to whatever office they'd stashed the zombie in.

"No, I don't think it's necessary," Sanbi said. "His manners are not particularly nice, and he is no friend of ours."

'I should be better, though. I'm representing something bigger than myself.'

"About the head," Sandaime-sama began warily.

"Do you want it?" Aiko asked. She blinked and uncrossed her legs under the table. "I- Hmm. I suppose I thought that I would keep it, but it's more than reasonable that you'd want to make sure it's authentic." She frowned, a little disquieted by her own impulse to keep it as a trophy. It was just gonna get hella yucky, fast. Maybe she was getting a little weird. "You can have it," she decided. She tapped her fingers on the table. "Be careful, though. I wouldn't touch that without gloves. Did you know he was venomous? Like, sizzling on contact with oxygen, I guess that's an acidic property, really... Was that a new thing? Ah, I suppose you wouldn't tell me either way."

Everyone leaned back from the table. It was slight, but it definitely happened.

Probably had happened since Orochimaru had left Konoha, then.

"Thank you." The Sandaime defintely sounded strained. "As you say..." He coughed. "The bounty, yes. We will of course make good on our promises. I will send a delegate to the Daimyo as well. And we ought to make a public announcement."

"Announce what?" Namikaze's voice was annoyingly cheerful.

She turned and caught the instant he saw the head on the table, and then her a moment later. He brightened. It was, she thought, truly obnoxious.

"False," Sanbi hissed.

"I did not," Sanbi said. He sounded affronted. "I do not hiss. What are- what are you referring to?"

Aiko frowned. 'You just said-'

"I did not say anything."

...She tried really, really hard not to contemplate what a second voice in her head might indicate. A mental break seemed like the best option.

This is fine. Everything is fine. It's just great.

"Mizukage-sama," her estranged, deceased, and annoying father said. He dipped his head toward her. "As expected."

"As expected?" The Sandaime said sharply.

Namikaze blinked and focused on the living. "We haven't talked," he pre-emptively denied. "I just meant that it was inevitable that she would kill Orochimaru."

Homura's eyes slid to the head. "Inevitable," he repeated.

Her muscles were very tense. She was not thinking about waking up in a room full of corpses and a relentless march toward a fight she really hadn't felt prepared for. She was- she was-

"More importantly," she said. Her voice came out a bit sharper than she intended. "Namikaze-san, has anyone updated you on international law regarding the treatment of non-hostiles?"

He blinked.

"Your behavior toward my students was inappropriate," she said. And ah, she was feeling more like herself. She leaned into the feeling and an aggressive tone. "Solo interrogation of a genin by a Kage is so far beyond the bounds of acceptable treatment of, I will stress, an ally only asked to remain in custody in order to provide information about his actions against aggressors."

He seemed pretty lost.

Aiko bared her teeth and gestured at the nook where an ANBU would be hiding. "Get nice stationary," she commanded. "I promised Yuusaku-kun that he would be receiving an apology."

Namikaze ran a hand through his hair. "Okay," he said.

She got the feeling that he might not be aware he was talking aloud.

"I can roll with this punch." He blinked and straightened a little bit. His tone changed. "I can write a letter. No, I was not aware of changes in international law, and I suppose that I had also not really considered that this peacetime environment might call for a different approach." He tilted his head. "I was also not primed to consider that this is, in fact, a peacetime environment, given my arrival."

She made a face. "That's fair," Aiko admitted. "Put that in your letter, that's mitigating."

"He's not entirely approaching normal, but competent," Sanbi commented.

Yeah, she kinda respected that for some reason.

Namikaze looked at the super-secret ANBU hiding nook. "Get the paper," he said, as if baffled that no one had leapt to follow her orders.

Danzou cleared his throat.

Aiko glanced at him and then immediately back to the more important people in the room, which really wasn't saying much.

"What, exactly, should I be considering as I draft this?" Namikaze asked. He leaned against the wall. "I can see that a genin would have been intimidated, is that the largest issue to address?" He frowned. "Power harassment?" he said, trying the thought out. "Is that what that was? I suppose it would be over-"

Danzou tapped his cane on the floor.

"whelming, given the different in rank and that, oh, a foreign military leader is..." Namikaze frowned. He glanced at her. "Probably feeling guilty or inadequate for failing to live up to what he thinks you or Kirigakure would expect?''

"That's exactly it," Aiko said. She was relieved that someone was getting it. "And getting- an entirely warranted- promotion to chuunin after probably exacerbated the situation-"

"Because he was feeling doubt that he deserved it, and like he is a fraud as well as a failure," Namikaze nodded.

"There is a similarity in your thought processes." Sanbi seemed a little warmer.

'I don't see it.'

"Another time, perhaps." The Sandaime was standing with his hands folded. "Please excuse me, Mizukage-sama. It seems that I have correspondence and other work to attend to. Unless you have further need of consultation, that is?"

She thought about it for a second. "I'm fine," Aiko said. She stood to bow. "Thank you for your time and this very timely meeting. I'll get that information about Orochimaru's bases to you by fax. I have a couple of errands to do first, but it should be relatively soon." She made eye contract. "I suppose it'll get to you around the time you send that transfer."

"I suppose it will," The Sandaime said, the ghost of amusement in his tone at her unsubtle ploy. "Namikaze-sama, perhaps your work would best be completed in your office?"

Ah. That was a dismissal.

'Can't very well linger in the Hokage's office if he's going to do errands.'

And so the group dissipated, without the Konoha contingent saying much of value at all. Granted, they'd been surprised by the meeting so they hadn't come in with a strategy. They'd probably expected the meeting to go very differently.

Aiko followed her father to the corner office where he had apparently been banished. He bustled to his desk and set down the nice letterhead he had been writing on.

She stuck her hands in her pockets and scrutinized the office. It certainly didn't show a lot of signs of inhabitance.

"How long do you have?" Minato asked.

"For you to write?" Aiko pursed her lips. "I'd hope you'd finish that within the hour."

"I meant before the Death God drags you back," Minato said absently. "He doesn't care for bending of the rules of life and death. Perversion and theft and all that. But that's good information, too." He pulled the cap off of his pen with his teeth and leaned forward to concentrate on the document.

He glanced up at her and let the pen cap fall to his desk. "Unless he has something else for you to do, I can't see why you'd linger for long. Once he's done sorting out what chaos Orochimaru left, he'll remember you." Then he shrugged. "But what do I know. I assume that the reason I'm still around is that you are. So I have a personal interest in this topic. But it's somewhat academic, since I'm not expecting to go back to where I have been."

There was something about the detached way he said that that made her flinch.

Aiko opened her mouth to say, "I'm not dead," but she couldn't put the lie out into the air. So she just stared at him, feeling far closer to her father than she had ever expected to. Despair kept a tight knot around her heart. "I'm not ready to be dead," she said instead.

"Accept it or fight it," Minato said. He blinked, and his blue eyes were the clearest she'd ever seen. "If you don't do something drastically different, your denials won't save you. Fighting it is probably futile, but if you're not ready to die with dignity..."

She wasn't ready. She didn't answer. She waited in silence until he finished the letter. She went back to Kirigakure and then back to work, because she didn't know what else to do.

"That's great news, I'll get Yuusaku in here for that after lunch." Nishikawa tapped his clipboard.

Aiko nodded and tried to manage a smile. It was a victory. She was happy for her student. Everything was going well.

"I think the biggest priority for the day, obviously, is the press release about your defeat of Orochimaru. We want to control that narrative and ensure that it gets out as soon as possible."

"Stress the cooperation with Konoha, I don't want anyone to accuse me of being places where I wasn't meant to be," Aiko directed. "But also the roles that our people played- leave it ambiguous about whether or not I was alone when I fought him, we won't actually lie. But our people reacted quickly and confirmed the kill. This is a big PR win for Kirigakure, I don't want it misread as just my actions. Kirigakure being responsible for eliminating one of the biggest missing nin in the world could go a long way towards mitigating our reputation for being easy on crime and making clear that we are going in a new direction."

Nishikawa's lips quirked as he furiously took notes. "I'll have a statement written up. We want to announce this internally- maybe over the loudspeaker system, that's worth a public celebration of some sort. Can we do something to make it a big event?"

"We can make tomorrow a paid public holiday…?" Aiko said, feeling uncertain. "Or make today a half-day, we should focus on today since it was today. But that only benefits government workers. How do we make up for that with the service industry and other types of workers?"

"Have people come here for some reason," Nishikawa suggested. He frowned. "Let's workshop this. We need someone fun."

"Alright, please schedule me a meeting with someone who is fun," Aiko agreed, grateful. She was starting to feel a bit better about this. "Maybe a couple of people. We need something fast. But it's also got to be workable, and not going to break the bank. Get someone in here right after my 10 o'clock meeting, if possible."

"Find...someone...fun…," Nishikawa wrote, forehead crinkled. "Before I do that- there is one more thing." He hesitated.

"Am I not going to like this thing?" Aiko asked.

"Aside from sending out the news, I think we also need to make sure you meet in person with the Fire Daimyo as soon as possible, since he needs to pay us a lot of money."

"Ohhh," Aiko said. She blinked. "I can do that."

"Do you have time to meet with the Fire Daimyo on Thursday?" Nishikawa looked pained, flipping between two pages of the master schedule book. "I think we need to block off the entire day for that, really… You'll have to enter at the closest border the conventional way and be escorted to the palace, they won't appreciate you-" he shot a glance at her. "Arriving at the gate directly," he finished diplomatically.

Aiko bit her lip and leaned back, thinking through what she had to do. "I need some morning time for fundraising work, but… I think that if we meet at the border at 8:30, I can be received at the palace and go through all the niceties. I think we will have to stay the night, it would be rude to rush out the same night. I'll need to step out in the evening but we can say I'm taking a long bath, and have our sentries ensure privacy."

"And that errand would be…?"

"Checking in with the pencil queen," Aiko said. She was trying to remember the woman's name. She needed to check that before the meeting, clearly. "I'm going to need her support to make sure our name stays golden currency in Wave, so I need to keep our appointments." She grimaced. "It'll be tight. I can probably give her 20 minutes. She's a business woman, she'll understand if I give her enough notice."

"Alright. And as for the team for this venture. We can spare…" Nishikawa pulled a pale yellow binder out from the shelf and flipped it open. He flipped pages, expression a little pained. "We need to be appropriate," he murmured.

"Not our strong suit." Aiko surreptitiously took off her socks underneath her desk.

He ignored her. "We want to bring enough big names that we look like we are a powerful force, but no one controversial… We don't want to look aggressive…"

"Oh no, we don't want them to think we are mean and scary," Aiko said mildly. She flexed her feet, thinking of all the people she had kicked to death across the span of her career.

"Or maybe we should just impress, as we are in near-enemy territory and it would not be at all surprising if this was a trap. Plenty of people would like to get rid of you."

"Hey," Aiko said. She frowned. "What did I do?"

He looked at her. He sighed. He looked back down at the binder. "Terumi-san, certainly," he said.

"Oh. I already know she wants me dead." Aiko waved that away. "Do you know about someone else?"

Nishikawa frowned. "What? No- no, I meant that she should attend this meeting. Is there- is there a problem with Terumi-san?" The pitch of his voice rose a bit at the end.

"It's fine."

He looked at her dubiously. "Wanting one's leader dead is traditionally considered somewhat problematic by administration. At the very least, perhaps she ought to be demoted out of leadership."

Aiko shrugged, disinterested. She'd used to feel a slight sense of relief at the possibility that Mei might kill her and let her rest. But now that she knew she was a creepy fucking monster and could not lay down and die if she wanted to, the issue was even less pressing. "Let's bring Utakata," she said. "He likes me."

Nishikawa outright laughed. He immediately straightened his face when she gave him a sharp look. He cleared his throat. "I believe that bringing a known jinchuuriki to a foreign Daimyo's residence would be provocative," he demurred.

"I see." Aiko bit her lip and thought about that. "Alright. I'll bring Utakata andGaara. It'll be a big show of strength, including our relationship with Suna, and it will make us such unpleasant houseguests that we definitely won't have to stay a second night."

"Your reasoning and manners are as impeccable as ever, Mizukage-sama," Nishikawa said dryly. He closed his books with a soft sound. "I'll ensure that they are assigned no missions in the interim, to prevent any possibility of them becoming unavailable."

"Lovely." She tucked her feet underneath her body, so that she was resting in seize on her chair. "Anything else I can work on while you requisition fun?"

"Fairly standard mission requests," Nishikawa said. He cleared his throat. "But I thought you might want to look at this personally." He avoided eye contact as he handed her a scroll.

Her eyebrows went up, but she accepted it and broke the seal. She read it silently, and then put it down on her desk. She rested her elbows on her desk and folded her hands. She looked at the space where the wall met the ceiling and contemplated her life choices.

There was a long, awkward silence.

"It's a very-well compensated mission," Nishikawa said mildly.

"It sure is," Aiko agreed. She stared into space over his head, wondering why her life was this way. It was definitely her fault, but still, she wanted to complain to someone.

What was the use of having a godly master if he wasn't even a good excuse for the bullshit that happened?

"It would be very odd not to accept it. And if we did reject it, not only would the client wonder why, but they would go to another nation." He paused pointedly. "With the information that we had rejected the mission."

"I would never reject a valuable mission that does not conflict with our morals." She knew she was making an ANBU level blank face. "Very well. Of course we will accept and assign appropriate personnel."

"And do our best to find the woman who is running a very profitable international drug running operation."

"Definitely a bad person," Aiko said, thinking of the money that went directly and ironically into paying for drugs for the hospitals, bought from Iron. "We will apprehend her. Such criminal actions are not to be tolerated anywhere in the Elemental Nations"

"Our jounin can handle nearly anything," Nishikawa said, face and voice perfectly blank. He was definitely laughing at her, on the inside.

She wondered if this would conflict with her Thursday morning plans to deliver a drug shipment. Well. That was entirely up to her, wasn't it?

…In the long term, she would make a lot more money by continuing the operation. In the short term, this payment would be nice. And it also didn't set well to accept a mission, knowing full-well that she wouldn't allow it to be successful. If nothing else, it was unfair to her staff. Failed missions went on records, after all. And it would be embarrassing to lose face with the client.

Aiko sighed, deeply resentful, and resigned herself to retiring that particular fundraising effort. It would just create a vacuum in the market anyway, but whatever. She'd let whoever she assigned run around for a while looking productive while she did one last profitable hurrah and then… have them report that they were successful and killed the criminal. Something like that.

…Who could she assign to this mission who would not ask too many questions? Did she want someone too dim to realize that she was at least connected to the crime, or find someone who she hoped would have a good sense of humor?

"You have a lot more stupid employees than funny employees," Sanbi pointed out.

She wanted to defend them, but… Kiri was not really known for cultivating easy-going personalities.

"Bring me our finest moron," Aiko declared. She spun her chair around. "I need someone with absolutely no deductive reasoning skill whatsoever."

Nishikawa looked like he was in actual pain.

"A real dum-dum," Aiko added., because she was enjoying his facial expressions today. "Like, someone with high enough rank for this mission, because I only want to put one person on it. But just dumb as a box of rocks. I don't want to hear any whispers of this person having made inferences before. Not a whiff of higher reasoning to be sniffed in their vicinity."

"I'm looking forward to seeing who your subordinate puts forward," Sanbi admitted. She cherished the childlike glee in his tone. She didn't get to hear that often.

"I will see what I can do to subtly locate our highest ranked…. person who fits your criteria, in the next day or two." Nishikawa stood, holding his binders and scrolls against his chest. He managed his poker face again. "If that is all, Mizukage-sama…?"

"Yes, it's fine." She stretched her arms and settled her legs back underneath her desk. "I have 20 minutes until my next meeting, right?"

"That's correct. By your leave, Mizukage-sama." He bowed his way out of her office.

Her 10:00 o'clock meeting was a total bummer. But at least she got them in and out without too many tears.

At 11:00, her door creaked open.

Aiko perked up. It was fun time.

Mei entered, looking supremely uncomfortable. She did not seem surprised at all by the way that Aiko's face fell. "I don't know anything about fun," Mei denied. She let the door shut behind her and then immediately crossed her arms. "I understand luxury, but that isn't quite the same."

'There is something seriously wrong in this country.'

"Have you ever… had… fun?" Aiko tried.

Mei looked a little ill.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We are two intelligent women," Aiko said, trying to pump herself up. "We can think of something financially sound and celebratory in less than an hour."

"If we are focusing on what is financially sound, we can brainstorm with things that are inexpensive or free," Mei suggested, sounding a little more certain. "Things that are free include things that can be acquired in nature, or through jutsu use."

"Or things we can get from a dollar store, or steal," Aiko added.

"There's nothing we could get some a dollar store in large enough quantities for a national celebration, I think," Mei said. "And we don't have much time for theft."

"...Experiences can be free," Aiko said slowly, thinking that over. "The occasion is that Orochimaru is dead. Maybe we can let people see that. Is that kinda ghoulish?"

"No, no," Mei dismissed. Her eyes were sparkling. "We'll lay the body out and let people come in."

"They can take photos with it!" Aiko said, thrilled. "Memorabilia!"

Mei outright laughed. "People would pay for that," she said. She paused. "…Would you be willing to pose in those photos?"

"Yes," Aiko said empathically. "The only problem is that we need a head. His head is in Konoha."

"Ah…" Mei frowned. "We can print a high quality photo and pin it to a squash."

She took a moment to picture that. "It's perfect," she hissed. "Let's make scarecrows, actually. I'll go back and steal more of his clothes to make it authentic. We can let the kids throw things at him. At the end of the day, we can burn the best scarecrow in celebration."

"Let's make a whole festival out of it," Mei suggested. "Games- we don't need a lot of materials. Eggs and spoons, water balloons, rope for 3-legged races…"

"Oh! And since it's Orochimaru, let's do some Orochimaru-themed things! Ah… We can have arts and crafts. Mixed medium, the person who brings in the best snake is the winner. We can do a jutsu competition, and I'll teach the winner something that I stole from his library."

Mei eyed her sideways. "This plan involves a lot of thefts."

"Yes, it is very economical," Aiko agreed. "Also, it's not really stealing if you already killed the owner." She started scribbling out a plan on her open notebook. "I'd say- loudspeaker at 12:00 that there's going to be an announcement, ask people to gather where they can hear me speak. That'll be at 12:30. I'll tell them that all work is cancelled for the rest of the day in order to celebrate." She frowned, thinking about the optimal order to get the party-planning done in. "While that's going on, I want the - Oh! My park is going to pay off!" She grinned, triumphant. "There are so many benches! Anyway. I want the photobooth area to be announced, but not set up until a little later- maybe 3:00. I'll open the park up at 2:00. I'll ask people to bring chairs or picnic blankets to come enjoy a day off in the park, and make tomorrow a half-day so that everyone can sleep in."

"Alright," Mei said, standing up. "We have planned some fun. I'll go find eggs."

"And I'll go steal. Meeting adjourned."

#vapors #uzumaki aiko #electrasev5n #ninja daily #fanfiction #naruto fanfiction #clarity #AIC #Aiko in Canon

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