2/10-Extreme Political TV from Nevada
Outside the Arena
The crisp Nevada air crackled with an electrifying tension, charged by the sold-out arena and the frenzy of fans stampeding at the gates. It was a spectacle unlike any other – PCW Extreme Political TV, where the worlds of politics and wrestling collided in a chaos-fueled show. The crowd roared with anticipation, their chants and chaotic sign-waving creating a deafening cacophony.
But beyond the reach of the floodlights, a strange standoff unfolded. A group of supporters, ticketless but determined, had gathered at the entrance, clamoring to be let in.
Progressive Alliance leader Hakeem Jeffries pleaded with passion to PCW Owner Dawn McGill, gesturing towards the hopeful crowd behind him.
Hakeem Jeffries (PA-NY): “Let them in! This is the people’s event,”
Beside him stood Dick Durbin, nodding fervently in agreement.
Dick Durbin (PA-IL): It’s about inclusion, Dawn. We can’t turn away our supporters.
Dawn McGill, the statuesque figure with medium-length blonde hair that glinted under the security lights, remained unmoved. Her no-nonsense gaze swept over the Progressive Alliance duo before settling on the throng of ticketless enthusiasts.
PCW Owner Dawn McGill: Gentlemen, I understand your concerns, but rules are rules. We’re at capacity. Fire codes, safety – you know how this works.
Mike Johnson (AP-LA) Absolutely not!
Johnson’s voice cut through the conversation like a steel chair to the back.
Mike Johnson: If they wanted in, they should’ve bought tickets like everyone else.
Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell (AP-KY) watched from a distance with his signature thin smile plastered on his face. Ever the calculated strategist, he unrolled a parchment-like document and pointed to a section highlighted in compromise yellow.
Mitch McConnell: Perhaps there’s a middle ground. We let a few in, give them standing room by the concession stands. It’ll look good for PR, and we avoid a riot.
Mike Johnson: That’s a terrible idea.
Dawn considered the offer, weighing the potential chaos against the goodwill gesture. As the standoff continued, tension thickened in the air and all eyes turned to the heart of the arena, where the video screen flickered to life with a replay of past events. The mood was tense, and no one knew what would happen next in this high-stakes game of politics and entertainment.
Political Championship Wrestling
Carson City Carnage
Carson City, Nevada
Saturday February 10th, 2024
Announcers:
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave
AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA
HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee
DRESS: Brown suit without tie
Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’
AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY
HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE:Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows.
DRESS: Black pants suit
Opening:
The raucous cheers of the audience echoed through the arena, building to a deafening crescendo.
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave: Welcome, viewers, to PCW Extreme Political TV! We are live from Carson City, Nevada, where earlier tonight we witnessed Joe Biden’s ruthless take-down of his two challengers in a show of sheer force and power.
Cameras panned over the roaring crowd, their faces lit up with anticipation as they waited for the video screen to come on. Suddenly, the picture appeared showing figure on stage, shrouded in a black cloak, his dark presence casting a mysterious aura over the entire arena. It was Joe Biden himself, his intense gaze fixed on his opponents as he stepped into the ring.
Marianne Williamson, known for her fiery spirit and unwavering determination, squared off against Biden, but even her passion was no match for what came next. With a fierce intensity in his eyes, Biden unleashed beams of pure incendiary force, reducing Williamson’s challenge to ashes.
Johnny Suave: Unbelievable!
The crowd gasped and cheered in disbelief at Biden’s newfound powers.
Johnny Suave: It seems like there’s no one who can stand up to him tonight!
But just as all hope seemed lost for Biden’s opponents, Dean Phillips made a split-second decision and bolted from the ring with survival overtaking valor. The audience watched in shock and exhilaration as Phillips ducked and weaved through the backstage area, narrowly escaping the wrath of Biden’s laser-eyed onslaught.
Johnny Suave: Phillips may have saved his skin tonight, folks. But this political ring is far from forgiving.
As tensions continued to rise in the arena, the video screen shifted.
Johnny Suave: Also tonight, we had another high-stakes bout on the American Patriot’s side featuring Donald Trump and Nikki Haley. Trump loomed over the screen like a colossus, delivering blow after relentless blow to his opponent, his every move met with roars of approval from his die-hard supporters.
Johnny Suave: Donald Trump once again proved why he’s a heavy hitter in this arena.
The footage showed Trump landing a decisive final strike that sent Haley crashing to the mat, defeated but not broken. The audience erupted into cheers and chants, their fervor fueled by the intense competition unfolding before their eyes.
Johnny Suave: Trump secures the win, but folks, let’s not count Haley out just yet,” Johnny concluded, the crowd buzzing with anticipation for what promised to be an ongoing saga of power, pride, and politics in the squared circle.
With the replays setting the stage for more extreme action, the excitement reached a fever pitch. PCW Extreme Political TV was off to a roaring start, and the night had only just begun. The camera zoomed in on the flashy broadcast desk where ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave slicked back his hair with a confident flair before addressing the camera. Beside him, Colleen Crowder adjusted her glasses with an air of intellectual superiority, her eyes flicking to the prompter as she prepared to spar with words and interjected with a smirk.
Colleen Crowder of ‘That Big New York Newspaper that Pushes Narrative as News’: Indeed, Johnny. And tonight, we’ve seen the Supreme CEO of PCW—”
Johnny Suave: CEO of PCW,”
Suave corrected her and rolled his eyes.
Colleen Crowder: Supreme CEO.
Colleen tapped her notes for dramatic effect and emphasis.
Johnny Suave: Mark your calendars because in two weeks, at Columbia Clash Part 2 in South Carolina, we’ll see if Donald Trump can keep his momentum or if Nikki Haley can turn the tides.
Colleen Crowder: Ah, but we the media crafts the saga, Johnny. Haley has more than a puncher’s chance; she’s got the backing of many in the Progressive Alliance. They believe she can dethrone Trump.
Johnny Suave: Sure, until Trump drops out. Then they’ll flip on Haley faster than a pancake on Sunday morning.
The corner of Suave’s mouth twitched upwards to signal the playful yet pointed nature of their banter.
Colleen Crowder: Charming analogy.
Colleen shook her head as they moved on.
Johnny Suave: Anyway, let’s get down to brass tacks! Tonight’s main event is going to be wild one, a slobberknocker of political proportions – we’ve got the Progressive Alliance’s own ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, the American Patriots’s Wall Street wonder Kirk Walstreit, and from the American Heartland Coalition, the everyman’s champion, Charlie Blackwell!
Colleen Crowder: Please, Johnny. The American Heartland Coalition is like a third-party candidate in a two-horse race. They have no business in this match.
Colleen crossed her arms with an air of finality.
Johnny Suave: Disagree there, Colleen. Blackwell’s the wild card that could upset the whole apple cart.
Colleen Crowder: An apple cart that should never have been in the aisle to begin with.
Their good-natured squabbling continued, the tension crackling between them like static before a storm, setting the stage for a night of political pandemonium that would unfold within the squared circle. The PCW faithful roared in the background, ready for the extreme action only PCW could deliver.
Johnny Suave: Let’s cut to the ramp. Here comes ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, decked out like he’s about to walk the red carpet instead of the wrestling mat!
Kevin Daniels/Progressive Alliance Segment
The spotlight hit the top of the ramp with the precision of a sniper’s laser as ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels emerged from behind the curtain. His steps were a choreographed strut, each footfall echoing with the calculated arrogance of a man who believed the universe revolved around his tanned and chiseled physique. He was flanked by an entourage that looked plucked from the glossy pages of tabloids—Hollywood elites on loan from their hillside mansions, and the stoic faces of Progressive Alliance leaders, Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer, nodding along to a silent but palpable beat of political clout.
Daniels, slipping into the ring with the ease of a man who’d never known a barrier in his life, snatched a microphone from the corner, his eyes sparkling under the stage lights.
‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels: Let’s get one thing straight. This isn’t just a match; it’s a foregone conclusion. With my star power…
Daniels paused to flash a megawatt smile at the camera- his voice was so smooth it could sell ice to Eskimos.
Kevin Daniels: I bring the kind of prestige to the PCW Championship that money can’t buy. I’m not just fighting for a title; I’m elevating it.
Before the crowd could digest his words, a familiar pop tune blared through the speakers, eliciting a mixture of cheers (from the blue seats) and eye-rolls (from the red seats). Sauntering down the ramp with a grace that rivaled royalty was none other than Taylor Switt, her presence commanding the arena like a queen surveying her kingdom.
Johnny Suave: Wowza! If it isn’t Taylor Switt. The latest chart-topping trophy on Mr. Hollywood’s arm.
Colleen Crowder: A future king needs his queen. Kevin Daniels will be the next PCW Champion! And doesn’t Taylor Switt look great?
As she reached the ring, Daniels extended a hand, helping her up with the flourish of a gentleman in a bygone era. They stood together, the epitome of celebrity excess, basking in the flash of camera phones and the roar of the crowd. Daniels wrapped an arm around her slender waist.
Kevin Daniels: Taylor Switt, everyone! Take a good look, because this…
He gestured between them.
Kevin Daniels: … this is what winning looks like. Together, we’re more than just a power couple; we’re the embodiment of victory. And tonight, that victory will be immortalized when I become your undisputed PCW Champion!
Suave chuckled. The Progressive Alliance made their way back up the ramp to the cheers from the blue seats.
Johnny Suave: Kevin Daniels appears confident tonight. But I’m sure the other two wrestlers have something to say about this.
Backstage
The crowd’s buzz from the display of ostentatious showmanship by ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels and pop icon Taylor Switt still hung in the air when the mood abruptly shifted. Cutting back stage, Dawn McGill sat exuding a very different kind of confidence—one forged in the fires of small business battles and not the glitzy forges of fame.
In her hand was – a document, its significance clear from the furrowed brow that accompanied her scrutinous gaze… the compromise solution put forth by the American Patriots’s Mitch McConnell with the support of the Progressive Alliance leaders.
She shook her head reading the document as we move forward in the show…
Kirk Walstreit/American Patriots
After the exit of the Progressive Alliance, the arena’s energy shifted as the bombastic strains of a money-themed anthem blasted through the speakers. A shower of dollar bills fluttered down from the rafters, each one adorned with the smug grin of ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street’ Kirk Walstreit. He emerged from backstage, flanked by his financial manager Gordon Guyko, throwing air punches with the confidence only obscene wealth could buy.
Johnny Suave: Money talks and bull-walks, ladies and gentlemen!” Johnny Suave’s voice crackled with excitement. “And here comes a man who’s made a career out of that very motto!”
Walstreit sauntered down the ramp, his pinstripe trunks shimmering under the lights, epitomizing the excess of both Wall Street and professional wrestling. Behind him, an underling—a young intern with more ambition than sense—paraded around with a large portrait of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit… Walstreit was also known for his man crush on the ESPN college football analyst.
Johnny Suave: Kirk Walstreit is a PCW original and part of the Corporate World group.
Reaching the squared circle, Walstreit leapt onto the apron, wiping his Italian leather boots on the mat as if to cleanse himself of the common touch. With a flourish, he climbed between the ropes, snatching a microphone from the ring announcer with the same greed he purportedly despised.
“The New Wolf of Wall Street” Kirk Walstreit: PCW Universe! You see before you the epitome of success, the embodiment of the American Dream! I, ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street,’ am not just your next champion by right—I’m your champion by the almighty dollar.
Once again, the crowd erupted into a cacophony of cheers and boos depending on if they sat in the blue seats or the red seats. The polarized reaction fueling Walstreit’s fervor.
Kirk Walstreit: Every stock I touch turns to gold, every investment nets millions, and come tonight, the PCW Championship will be the crown jewel in my portfolio!
He gestured towards the sea of fans.
Kirk Walstreit: I stand with the American Patriots, the true backbone of this country, and with their support, I will clinch the title and usher in an era of unparalleled prosperity!
Gordon Guyko stepped forward, his slick hair reflecting like polished silver, repeating his catchphrase with a sardonic smirk.
Gordon Guyko: And remember, folks. Greed is good. It’s really, really good.
Flashing lights, roaring chants, and the unmistakable scent of adrenaline filled the arena as Johnny Suave adjusted his headset.
Johnny Suave: Ladies and gentlemen, strap yourselves in for a main event that promises to be more explosive than a filibuster in a Senate debate!
Colleen Crowder: Johnny, this isn’t just a match. In one corner, you have ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels, strutting down the ramp like he’s on a red carpet, flanked by the creme de la creme of liberal elites, presenting his case to become the new PCW champion and mesmerizing the PCW fans.
Johnny Suave: Daniels has promised to bring progressive change to PCW, one piledriver at a time. He also thinks his chiseled jawline and box-office charm entitle him to the gold.
Colleen Crowder: Entitlement? Is that what we’re calling it now?
Colleen’s eyes rolling so hard they could’ve generated their own news cycle.
Colleen Crowder: I’d say it’s confidence, Johnny. And with good reason. Kevin Daniels is the next PCW champion because he is a star. Now, speaking of entitlement, how about ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street’ Kirk Walstreit? Flaunting his portfolio like it’s the Constitution itself!
Johnny Suave: Ah, Walstreit.
Suave chuckled and reveledg in the discord as much as the action to come.
Johnny Suave: The man who turns everything he touches into cold, hard cash. He believes every pin is a transaction that enriches his legacy and fattens his wallet.
Colleen Crowder: Johnny, let’s not ignore the fact that Walstreit’s manager, Gordon Guyko, epitomizes the greed that’s corroding the pillars of our society!
Johnny Suave: To Guyko, his mantra ‘Greed is good. It’s really, really good,’ is a stock ticker marching across the screen of the American Dream!
Colleen Crowder: Or the American Nightmare.
Colleen was clearly unamused by the glibness of her co-commentator. “Tonight, it’s not just flesh and bone colliding in that ring. It’s two diametrically opposed philosophies grappling for supremacy while the whole world watches.”
Johnny Suave: Will it be the glitz and governance of ‘Mr. Hollywood’ or the bullish market brutality of ‘The New Wolf of Wall Street’?
Suave posed dramatically as the crowd’s anticipation reached a fever pitch.
Johnny Suave: Or will it be the wrestler we haven’t heard from yet… the American Heartland Coalition’s Charlie Blackwell.
The Compromise
The fluorescent lights of the backstage area cast a harsh glow on the tense faces gathered in a tight circle. Mike Johnson’s jaw was set, his eyes narrow slits of determination as he faced off against the political titans of Mitch McConnell, Hakeem Jeffries, and Dick Durbin. The air was thick with the scent of sweat and anticipation, the kind that precedes a brawl more than a discussion.
Mike Johnson: Now, folks, I’ve got here the so-called ‘compromise’ shoved down our throats—letting unticketed people flood into our shows.
He held the paper aloft, and it fluttered like a flag of defiance.
Mike Johnson: This isn’t just about numbers; it’s about chaos waiting to happen! Security risks that put each and every one of you, and our wrestlers, in harm’s way.
He tore the compromise document in half, letting the pieces fall like confetti of conviction.
Mike Johnson: This sham of a ‘compromise’ won’t stand!
Cheers erupted, a cacophony of support for the woman who was their champion out of the ring—their bastion of order in a world of extreme uncertainties.
McConnell’s lips pressed into a thin line, a visible twitch in his jowls betraying the simmering anger beneath his stoic exterior. Jeffries shook his head, his expression one of exasperation, while Durbin merely crossed his arms, a silent sentinel among the discontent.
Mitch McConnell: Damn it, Johnson. This isn’t some back alley fight; it’s politics. We need to—”
But Johnson cut him off with a sharp wave of his hand, his stance unyielding.
Mike Johnson: No. You want to play politics? Do it without me.
Cut back to Johnny Suave and Colleen Crowder at the broadcast desk.
Johnny Suave: Well now. The American Patriot’s Mike Johnson rejects the McConnell compromise on allowing unticketed people into PCW shows.
Colleen Crowder: This is all Donald Trump’s fault. They’re doing this because Trump doesn’t want a compromise solution because it doesn’t help his bid to become the PCW CEO again.
Johnny Suave: Let’s see how that narrative plays, Colleen.
Colleen Crowder: It’s not a narrative. It’s the truth!
Johnny Suave: As you see it.
American Heartland Coalition Segment
Transition to the raucous energy of the main stage, where Charlie Blackwell stood tall, a lone cowboy in a ring of political turmoil. His hat cast a shadow over his steely gaze, which swept across the sea of cheering fans. ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay’s Toby Keith button… worn in tribute to the country star who passed away earlier in the week… shimmered under the spotlight beside him, while the ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan nodded sagely, his presence an anchor in the choppy waters of political dissent.
Charlie Blackwell: Good people of the Heartland!
Each word delivered with the fervor of a revivalist preacher.
Charlie Blackwell: They’ll tell ya they’re for the little guy, but look at ’em—puppets dancing on strings pulled by the fat cats and lobbyists!
The crowd roared in approval, a tidal wave of support crashing against the stage. Blackwell tipped his hat back, revealing a grim smile, the mark of a man who knew the power of his words.
Charlie Blackwell: Unlike the Progressive Alliance and those turncoat American Patriots, the American Heartland Coalition is the true voice of you—the plumber, the waitress, the farmer, the ones who keep America runnin’! We don’t bow to special interest groups; we stand tall for freedom, for rights, for the real American dream!
McAvay let out a whoop of agreement, the sound echoing like a battle cry. Bryan raised a fist, his eyes ablaze with the fire of justice. Blackwell paced the stage like a general surveying his troops.
Charlie Blackwell: Y’all know the truth. We’re the beating heart of this country, and we won’t be silenced by slick suits and empty promises. We are the coalition of the free, and tonight, we’re gonna show ’em what that means!
As Blackwell’s speech reached its crescendo, the audience leapt to their feet, chanting and stomping in solidarity.
Johnny Suave: There you have it. The stage is set, the players ready, and the battle lines drawn.
Colleen Crowder: Johnny, having a minor third-party faction in the PCW title match dilutes the match and makes it harder for the legitimate wrestlers to win. This should be between the Progressive Alliance and the American Patriots.
Voice: Enough!
Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy emerged like a specter from behind the curtain, flanked by a motley assembly of followers: Codee Pink, Emily S. List, as well as…
Green World Order
-Valet: Peta from PETA, GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick
The Young Jerks
-MGR: Anna- the foul-mouthed sidekick, Zenk Cryger and James Idahola
Legion of Anti-Fascists (LOAF)-Ted and Chaz
Their signs were a colorful collage of dissent: “Down with the Coalition” and “The People Should Vote the Right Way and Sit Down and Shut Up!” scrawled across cardboard in bold, angry letters.
Professor McCarthy: Your so-called ‘Coalition’ is nothing but a farce!
Blackwell tipped his cowboy hat back with a defiant tilt of his head,
Charlie Blackwell: Professor McCarthy, seems to me you’ve confused this wrestling ring for your classroom. Around here, we don’t dictate; we debate.
Professor McCarthy: Debate? You’re merely puppets of the disillusioned! Real change comes from us, the enlightened few!
Ray McAvay: Enlightened? More like self-righteous.
Professor McCarthy: The American Heartland Coalition can’t speak for the people because only us… the enlightened… tell the people what they should say, think, and believe.
McCarthy waved the ‘good book’ in his hand- the book that stated what people should say, believe, and think, act.
Professor McCarthy: Any thought, speech, acts that doesn’t conform to what this book says you should think, speak, and do must be shouted down!
Charlie Blackwell: The American Heartland Coalition stands for free speech, Professor. For the right for folks to think for themselves. We don’t shout down—we stand up, we rise up!
Professor McCarthy: YOU CAN’T SAY THAT-
The chanting from the stands drowned out McCarthy’s protests. The people had spoken, their voices a chorus of rugged individualism and unity.
Johnny Suave: Now we’ve heard from all three wrestlers-
Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe Professor McCarthy was prevented from speaking. This is not right.
Johnny Suave: Just like it’s wrong when he does it to other people.
Colleen Crowder: That’s not our narrative. Professor McCarty speaks with wisdom and truth.
Suave rolled his eyes.
Johnny Suave: Let’s send it backstage where PCW reporter Woodward Bernstein is.
Joe Biden Press Conference
Woodward Bernstein stood backstage in a rumpled coat and hat.
Woodward Bernstein: Thanks Johnny. PCW CEO Joe Biden commented on the breakdown of the compromise to end the stand off on the unticketed people being let into PCW shows issue. Here’s what he had to say…
(Earlier)
Joe Biden stood at the podium dressed in a black shroud and black robe and looking menacing.
PCW CEO Joe Biden: (mumbling inaudiably)
Then one of his aides turned him around to make sure he was facing the reporters.
PCW CEO Joe Biden: The American Patriots gave in to Donald Trump and his dangerous, extreme MAGA supporters. If they wanted to secure the PCW arenas we wrestle in, they would have supported this plan.
Woodward Bernstein: But then the fireworks flew when a reporter dared to question his mental sharpness and cognitive ability…
(Earlier in the night…)
Biden’s eyes widen and he responds with a sneer.
Joe Biden: Look, here’s the deal—
Woodward Bernstein: …and all hell broke loose.
(Earlier in the night…)
From Biden’s eyes squint and then shoot twin beams of incandescent fury, bursts of laser blasts from his eyes indiscriminately peppering the room as reporters ducked for cover.
Woodward Bernstein: Chaos ensued at the emergency press conference but miraculously, no one was hurt but there were a few singed hairs. Back to you Johnny.
Cut back to the broadcast table. ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave, his hair slicked back and suit as sharp as ever, leaned into the microphone with an intensity that could rival the wrestlers themselves. Beside him, Colleen Crowder adjusted her glasses, her reporter’s notepad brimming with the day’s scandalous events.
Johnny Suave: Not a good moment for the incumbent CEO of PCW.
Colleen Crowder: Supreme CEO of PCW, Johnny! But he was right. It was Donald Trump and his extreme MAGA supporters who didn’t want a compromise on this issue because it benefits Trump.
Johnny Suave: Well, we’ll find out at November’s Extreme Election Night 2024 what the people think.
Colleen Crowder: They’ll believe what we tell them to believe because we, the media, sets the tone and tells people what they should/should not be caring about.
Johnny Suave: Right. Okay. It’s time for our main event.
MAIN EVENT-PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Prog. Alliance) vs. Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition)
In the squared circle stood Kimber Marshall, the ring announcer with poise that could command an army.
Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen, this match will be for the PCW Title!”
Her voice sent the fans erupting into cheers.
Kimber Marshall: Introducing first…
The opening chords of “Do You Hear the People Sing” rumbled over the PA system. Charlie Blackwell emerged, flanked by ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, and a sea of fervent fans.
Kimber Marshall: …and representing the American Heartland Coalition. CHARLIE BLACKWELL!
Blackwell exuded a raw Texan charisma as he led his cohorts over the barricade, rolling into the ring with purposeful swagger.
Kimber continued, unfazed by the uproar.
Kimber Marshall: And representing the American Patriots…
Wall Street suits and conservative banners filled the entrance ramp as Kirk Walstreit strutted out, oozing financial bravado, shaking hands with Republican heavyweights who whispered strategies and stock tips into his ear.
Kimber Marshall: …he is the ‘Real Wolf of Wall Street!’ KIRK WALSTREIT!
Gordon Guyko led Walstreit down the ramp with his aide still brandishing the picture of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit.
Kimber Marshall: Finally, wrestling for the Progressive Alliance. ‘MR. HOLLYWOOD!’ KEVIN DANIELS!”
The spotlight hit Daniels as he sauntered down the aisle, arm-in-arm with pop sensation Taylor Switt, their entourage a who’s who of Democrat influencers and silver screen glitterati.
Back at the desk, Suave leaned forward, his eyes reflecting the drama about to unfold.
Johnny Suave: There you have it, folks. Three warriors, three worldviews, one ring. Who will be the next PCW Champion?
Colleen Crowder: Kevin Daniels.
Johnny Suave: We’ll find out soon enough as this match is underway.
Johnny Suave: Unbelievable! Walstreit rolls Daniels up like a controversial bill on Capitol Hill!
In the stands, faces were painted with the colors of their wrestling allegiances, each one a living emblem of their chosen fighter’s political stance. Some leaped to their feet, fists punching the air in victory as if they themselves had passed legislature, while others slumped back into their seats, disillusioned by the sudden turn of events, their disappointment as palpable as a vetoed amendment.
Johnny Suave: Kirk Walstreit cashes in once more!” Suave continued, his voice reaching fever pitch.
Beside him, Colleen Crowder’s lips pursed with disapproval, her pen poised as though ready to draft a scathing op-ed on the spot. She leaned into her microphone, her voice dripping with satirical edge that could slice through a budget proposal.
Colleen Crowder: Ah yes, the classic American Patriot maneuver. Win at all costs, even if it means rolling up your opponent with the slickness of an offshore tax haven and having the referee fast count to three. It seems the only thing more flexible than Walstreit’s ethics is his spine.
Johnny Suave: Come now, Colleen, that’s just good strategy!”
Colleen scoffed, her eyebrow arched with the finesse of a seasoned debater.
Colleen Crowder: Strategy? If by strategy you mean the kind that gerrymanders the very fabric of our PCW ring, then sure, let’s call it that. But then again, what else can we expect from the American Patriots? Fair play? Please. They’ve been redrawing district lines around the rules since the inception of PCW.
Walstreit lay sprawled, his chest heaving with the shock of defeat. His eyes, wide with the horror of a hostile takeover, stared blankly up at the blinding lights, reflecting a future where his portfolio was in shambles. The crowd erupted, their voices a cacophony of change, heralding the fall of a titan who had believed he was too big to fail.
Johnny Suave: Can you believe it, folks?!”
Suave’s voice crackled with elation, riding the wave of excitement that crashed over the broadcast desk.
Johnny Suave: Charlie Blackwell has done it! The American Heartland Coalition stands tall tonight as Blackwell pins the Wall Street Warrior! What did we just witness, Colleen?
Colleen Crowder’s lips tightened, her journalistic instinct wrestling with her political allegiance.
Colleen Crowder: Joyous as this may seem for some, I must question the regulatory oversights that allowed Blackwell such an advantageous position. Was this match fair? Or was it rigged like a primary in a gerrymandered district?
Suave glanced at her, his brow arched high enough to rival the arena’s rafters.
Johnny Suave: Fair? Rigged? This is PCW, Colleen! It’s about the heart, the fight, the spirit of the people! And tonight, the spirit of the American Heartland Coalition soared higher than corporate tax rates under a progressive administration!
Colleen Crowder: Dawn McGill put the American Heartland Coalition in the match. Why would we not be surprised when they win?
Johnny Suave: Because she doesn’t work like that. The people have spoken, and they’re chanting Blackwell’s name. That’s democracy in action, right here in the squared circle!
Colleen Crowder: Johnny, you’d think they’ve just passed universal health care in the ring.
Colleen Crowder’s tone dripped with irony as she surveyed the jubilant scene.
Colleen Crowder: But let’s not put on rose-colored glasses just yet. This celebration is as choreographed as a campaign rally, and we all know how those promises turn out.
Johnny Suave: Choreographed or not, this is real raw emotion pouring out! These aren’t lobbyists in suits; these are fighters with calluses on their hands and hope in their hearts!
The exchange between Suave and Crowder underscored the divide within the PCW, a microcosm of the wider world where each blow traded in the ring mirrored the jousts of political discourse.
And in this moment, as Charlie Blackwell stood victorious, the PCW champion, the arena was ablaze—not with pyrotechnics, but with the fire of a narrative that would burn its way through the annals of PCW history.
Johnny Suave: That’s going to do it for this week. Don’t forget, in two weeks we’ve got the big match between Donald Trump and Nikki Haley will take place at the Columbia Clash Part Two. We’ll see you next week.
The camera swooped down to the canvas, where the American Heartland Coalition had formed a human dam, breaking against the ring with an unstoppable current. McAvay, Bryan, and their comrades swarmed Charlie Blackwell, lifting him onto their shoulders amidst the cacophony of cheers that engulfed the PCW Arena. The people’s champion, hoisted aloft, was an emblem of heartland perseverance—grit over gloss, plowshares beating swords into wrestling gold.
0 notes