hey fay!!💗💗

am i back w greg thoughts? ofc. (hes on my mind constantly 🫡)

I JUST WANT TO SLOW DANCE W MY BABY IN A KITCHEN AT 2AM IN OUR SOCKS AHHHH!!!

like imagine him going through his big ass record collection and picking some cute records w love songs and then he js comes up behind you and starts swaying to the music UHHGGG AHHHH i love greg my BABY also then he puts u on the counter after and fucks ur brains our but👀👀🫢🫢🫢

🫶 anon :)))

hiii my love!! 💞💗💕

that’s so cute and romantic <333

okay remember that episode where he’s showing dharma his moves for when girls would come over and he played some music? yeahhhhh he does that with you too 🤭🤭 he’s sooooo cute!!!!

he plays the sweetest love songs that are perfect for slow dancing in the kitchen in the middle of the night 🥹🥹🥹 he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your middle 🥹🥹 after swaying like this for a bit you’re craving a huuuge kiss so you turn around and kiss him deeply 🥹

once that’s done, he holds you close against his chest, hums along with the tune in your ear, whispers that he loves you, leaves sweet kisses on the top of your head and on the side of your neck <333

and it’s simply heaven in his arms 🥺🥺 and he smells sooooo good and he’s warm and perfect!!

and yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh maybe after that he turns you around again, pulls your panties down, traps you against the counter and takes you from behind 🤭💕💞🤭💗💕

Imagine if you sat for 8 hours straight watching movies or like knitting or baking a cake or something everyone would be like “damn that’s a long time to spend on a particular activity!” Like I thinj it’s pretty crazy. OKAY SO TELL ME WHY ITS NORMAL TO GO TO YOUR JOB 5 DAYS A WEEK AND SIT FOR 8 HOURS STRAIGHT ON THE COMPUTER DOING WHATEVER BULLSHIT. ITS NOT RIGHT. ITS UNNATURAL. ITS NOT WHAT GOD INTENDED US TO DO. I BELIEVE TO THE CORE OF MY HEART ITS NOT GOOD FOR US AS A HUMAN RACE. ITS KILLING US AND ITS NORMAL AND ITS KILLING USSSS!!!

Am I supposed to believe anyone who says Emma doesn't love Sekiro WHEN THE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF HER MOUTH, ONE DIALOGUE NOT EVEN WHILE HE WAS AROUND, WERE:

''If I give this to him... he's going to die.''

''I don't want to lose Lord Kuro... or you.''

''So please, take care...''

I need to NOT absorb stories with a queer reading in my head despite the fact that yeah no. I know it’s not queer and that it’s about other things. Because then my heart gets broken and I know fully well that I should’ve expected that DJFJKDF

I claimed Bloodhound when the track list dropped and I was so right for that.

the way my body feels when i have a crush should be considered body horror

I didn't a fucking otome game would make me go sweaty gamer mode WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK

Thoughts on Uprising ep13 “The Stranger”

- cold open: welp, it wouldn’t be an episode of Uprising if Beck didn’t make a Bad Decision, now would it? (also I’m more interested in the city names than the actual beats of the cold open!!! my basic go-to for Grid city names has been using the noble gases; in my fic The Outpost a Xenon City is mentioned, for instance. interesting that they decided to use other elements as well. love the choice of Gallium, tho; it’s a cool metal with a low melting point—if you hold it in your hand, it’ll start to melt from a solid!!) (new headcanon: all the big cities—excepting Tron City—are named after noble gases; maybe the smaller cities are named after other elements?)

- and then under the energy whirlpool Beck finds a weird mirror that HE SHOULD HAVE LEFT ALONE. like, if I found my hand was able to go into a weird mirror I found in the middle of nowhere, I would simply pull my hand out and walk the opposite direction. that is what I would do, but Beck does not! and he gets fucking choked out and dragged away by a mysterious figure!! THAT’S NOT HORRIFIC AT ALL.

- meanwhile in the B plot: Tron is basically the Batman of the Grid, I’m calling it now. But like… the older Batman from Batman Beyond, kind of? it’s not a 1:1 fit, okay? ANYWAY. he freaks the fuck out of Able, who is worried about Beck, and they have another Dad fight about Beck, that Able wins again. anyway. apparently Dyson is back in town and up to no fucking good, as usual, and Tron needs someone to look into it. so Able volunteers. cos that won’t go badly at all!!!!!!

- okay, I will say this about Cyrus’s domain: it’s weird as shit and I’m glad the designers and animators were able to sort of go off with it! it’s got more color than most of Argon, and it’s just plan WEIRD and I love it a little bit??? like Cryus makes the whole thing creepy as FUCK, but whatever??? it’s really neat design stuff going on, with gears and clocks and all that, and kind of reminds me of the inside of a computer or watch. it’s quite neat, and I love it.

- that aside: BECK HAS FUCKED THE FUCK UP. DUDE GOT HIS DISC STOLE AND HIS SECRET FOUND OUT AND JUST. FUCK. I’M SORRY KIDDO.

- meanwhile in the B plot, Able’s going undercover at some secret government work project! and there’s Dyson and fuck this isn’t going to end well at all fuck FUCk FUCK FUCK

- meanwhile Cyrus (who I don’t think identifies himself in this episode at all???? I could be wrong; the captions didn’t shy away from his name, tho) is being a goddamn A-grade CREEPAZOID and I DO NOT LIKE HIM. like he is trying so hard to play the “we’re not so different, you and I” card and it’s not really working on Beck at all, which GOOD, but STILL. HE MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. FUCK.

- and the Able goes snooping and DYSON FINDS HIM FUCK FUCK FUCK thankfully Able’s supervisor catches him just in time because god fucking DAMN I WAS ABOUT TO FAINT DEAD AWAY FUCKKKKKKK

- I mean. my experience of this episode is perhaps best summed up as “FUCK FUCK FUCK DO NOT WANT STOP STOP PLEASE STOP HOLY GOD FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK” this was both a delight and a terror, ngl

- and then it turns out Cyrus has a plan! a grand plan to free everyone—from the burden of existence, it turns out!!!!! (tho now I’m suddenly wondering—if his device HAD worked and taken the grid offline…….. what the fuck would have happened to Flynn???????? would the Portal have spat him out even tho it’s not open? would he have just died??? I’m suddenly extremely curious about this!!!!) Cyrus is a bona fide omnicidal maniac, and he thinks he’s figured out fate and all that and he’s gonna use Beck to power his device and “free” everyone by destroying the Grid!!! THAT’S NOT CREEPY AT ALL. FUCK.

- in the B plot, Able gets caught snooping AGAIN and then it turns out he was expecting Tron this whole time, and they beat up a whole bunch of Black Guards while Dyson makes his escape…. in a giant-ass Recognizer??? that apparently Tesler is NOT supposed to know about ???? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE. that said, I love that the show is taking on a slightly more serialized storytelling style, where some things are not fully answered by the end of each episode

- in the main plot, Cyrus and Beck break free of the compressed space and Beck nearly passes out but sees Tron (and Clu??!!? WHAT THE FUCK, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?) and snaps out of it and manages to escape and stop Cyrus’s plan and apparently* trap Cyrus back in his little dimension with the creepy mirror now broken. and then Beck sometime later shows up at Tron’s and SAYS NOTHING ABOUT CYRUS BECAUSE OF COURSE NOT. (I know, I know, there wouldn’t be a show if they just talked about it, but STILL.) also I am MAJORLY freaked out by the circuits still visible on Beck’s wrist(s) when he applies pressure. that’s not creepy at all. holy SHIT.

- * and of course, the broken mirror DIDN’T FUCKING TAKE and Cyrus has escaped and FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKK this is gonna end BADLY I just KNOW IT

- also Cyrus’s whole thing about fate and things being set in stone and all that got me thinking about a short story I read back in uni called “The Algorithms for Love” by Ken Liu, which is basically about a programmer who creates a speech algorithm for a line of talking dolls. The programmer eventually comes to the (perhaps erroneous) conclusion that human behavior is just an algorithm: “ “What if,” I said, struggling to find the words, “we are just following some algorithm from day to day? What if our brain cells are just looking up signals from other signals? What if we are not thinking at all? What if what I’m saying to you now is just a predetermined response, the result of mindless physics?” “ like, Cyrus seems to be set on the idea that there’s no point in trying to change things or make things better for anyone, because it’s fate that it’s like this, and the best way to deal with a tyrant is to simply destroy the whole world. (the short story is really creepy and really good, btw, highly recommend it)

- all in all: GOOD EP. as I said in my previous post, I haven’t cussed that much at the TV since Hannibal Season One!!

ALSO I MISS THEM FUCKKKKKKKKKKK IM TRYING SO HARD NOT TO GO BACK ON MY WORD ... IK THIS IS WHATS BEST FOR ME IK I DESERVE BETTER THAN A SITUATIONSHIP BUT FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK I JUST WANR THEM SO BADDD UGHHHHHHHHH JUST LET ME WIFE YOU UP DAMN

Yes yes i know love is about accepting and surrendering and releasing it's just like Fuck

It sucks when like understanding and acknowledging and compassion can only go so far ..... like sometimes it does help for me to temper myself and step outside of myself. Other times I'm like Ok salem yes you're allowed to have compassion and grace and completely understand where someone is coming from and why they're choosing what they choose. Simultaneously you are still your own person too and you are a lover that deserves mutual commitment and devotion!!! Like i may be a gemini venus n all but it's in the 8th house babes ... In the beginning yeah idgaf but WHEN I DO... I AM LOCKED DOWN IDK

I don't believe in right person wrong timing like okay kinda i guess i can see that but i also feel like the right person would find a way to want to make the timing right yk? Ik there's no such thing as blanket statements as "right person" but yk. My point is, there is someone out there where they are in a position of life where they feel more willing to overcome their fears, traumas, triggers, and open their heart up more to be able to love me in the committed way i desire. And i'm not in a rush fr. It's not like I need to be in a partnership by tomorrow. I'm also content with being single. Although i am going to miss certain aspects of intimacy that are not as easily found with friendships sigh....

IT JUST FUCKING SUCKSSSS LIKE WHY IS 12H SYNASTRY LIKE THIS IM GOJNG TO KAY MY ESS

But it's fine

It's honestly kinda out of my hands now like I'm not about to convince anyone to surrender for me. It's when they want to. And if they feel like their current wants and desires and needs are more important and valuable than a romantic connection with me then who am i to beg and say to consider otherwise? Ima be like u got it. And just learn to pour all this sappy ass love i have into me. And my loved ones. I mean they're still a loved one, but yk.

Sigh just give me the strength bc i want to give into temptation so baddddd but at the same time i'm trying my best to learn love is discipline it is recognizing to not follow your every whim and desire it is recognizing when you can release certain standards or expectations but also have to be firm about others and it's just FUCKING SIGH. Why did they have to be so lovable and beautiful and just why does love constantly seem to slip from my hands... that poem about love being elusive when it really doesn't have to be but the world and it's dysfunction makes it that way be wanting to BASH MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL BC I HATE THAT THEYRE RIGHT

Like idk what's worse like being in romantic relationships but being treated like shit or constantly being close to being in romantic relationships but something happens and it slips away before you were even able to really revel in the beauty and the joy of it all

I mean i did anyway but also Yes i would've loved to been able to wash the dishes with you and read books with you by a fireplace and gaze under stars with you and maybe a kid Ok im done fr im done sorry my brain is just rambling i gotta release so i can sleep heh

FUCKKKKKKKK SPEAKING OF WHICH. I WANNA GET BETTER BY BLEACHERS.

I DON'T THINK I EVEN HAVE THE WORDS. JUST.

DRIVEN BY FAITH...... DEFINED BY DEATH...... UNSPOKEN MELANCHOLY AS HE JUST GOES ABOUT HIS DAY IN AN EMPTY HOUSE......

DOVE AND OLD MEMORIES AND LOVE AND FEAR AND DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO HOLD ONTO THE ONLY PERSON HE HAS LEFT BUT THE DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE. THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO AND HIS DESPERATION ONLY MAKES IT WORSE AND AKJFAKLSFLAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BECOMING FRIENDS WITH MEL AND ARTIC AND THAT FUZZY MOMENT WHEN YOU'RE HANGIGN OUT WITH PEOPLE THAT CARE AND YOU'RE GRINNING WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT AND AKJSHFKLASJFKLSDFJ!!!!!

HE WANTS TO GET BETTER HE REALIZES HE FUCKED UP HE DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE ANYONE ELSE HE SLEEPS WITH A PILLOW BECAUSE HE NEEDS SOMETHING TO HOLD. HE NEEDS PEOPLE. HE NEEDS PEOPLE!!!!!!!

MISS THE DAYS OF A LIFE STILL PERMANENT..... GOING FROM SCREAMING AT THE WORLD TO AT HIMSELF..... CEDRIC YOU WANT ME DEAD YOU WANT ME DECEASED

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK

OHHHH HE DREAMS. HE DREAMS ABOUT SO MANY PEOPLE. OF DOVE OF HIS MOM OF HIS DEAD UNCLE HE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO KNOW BUT STILL LIVES IN HIS SHADOW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE I ACCIDENTALLY CANCELLED THE DOCTORS APPOINTMENT I NEED TO GET MY HRT PRESCRIPTION REFILLED. no im actually gonna cry. i had to make this appt like 2 weeks out and that already made me a week late to get my script refilled. if i cant get that appointment back it could make me 3+ weeks late to get it. fuck fuck fuck.

what kind of STUPID fucking website has a button that says "click here to reschedule" that IMMEDIATELY cancels your fucking appointment

“you won’t be when i’m done with you….”

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

HOLY SHITTTTT

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

THIS SENTANCE

MAKES ME SO FUCKING HORNY

NO WAY TO SUGARCOAT IT

The act of clicking photographs of you both being intimidate and having to also see those photographs after a while turns me on like yes this mf held my thigh or his hand sliding almost near to my panties or just us making out and him having picture of all over him TURNS ME ON SOO MUCH like yes that breakfast after our morning s*x like fuckkkkkkkkkkkk I wanna fuck you again

.

god im going to CRY!!!!!!!!!

b>xunxjustxjusticex said: ❝ no one’s ever done that to me before. ❞ (Pick your poison)            

@xunxjustxjusticex​

“...Huh?” Tilting her head, Natsuki angled curious little morganites in Makoto’s direction. Those words were... COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED. Hell, the history of their OWN relationship alone would suggest that such a quote be attributed to NATSUKI HERSELF. But then to also factor in her best friend’s historical liaisons with Ann Takamaki and Sae Niijima, well... Maybe the pastel baker’s INSECURITIES were talking too loudly as of late... ”How do you mean? Done what?” She just couldn’t comprehend the idea of having ANYTHING to offer Makoto externally -- That is to say: Beyond the realm of brain chemistry -- That Makoto hadn’t ALREADY sampled elsewhere. Wasn’t even sure what it was she’d done to SURPRISE the student council president. And, all of a sudden, it HIT HER. A wave of ANXIOUS UNCERTAINTY. A thousand questions. Or, rather, a thousand variations on the same fear: “...Y-You... Didn’t... HATE IT... Did you?” Frightful caution boiled over in a flash, panic setting it, causing Natsuki to practically CLIMB up Makoto’s frame. Pink orbs locked intensely with red droplets of blood. Swirling with DREAD & TEARS.

                                              “T-TELL ME YOU DIDN’T HATE IT!!” 

                                                                                     ...........EVEN IF YOU DID.....