Hi! Congratulations on your milestone 😊
I would really like to see something with Spencer x Reader and Blinding Lights by The Weeknd! ❤️
Hello my love! I’ve wanted to write a fic based on this song for so long! Set in place of 3.16 Elephant’s Memory.
Send me a song lyric from my list to celebrate my follower milestone 🎵
Blinding Lights
Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
Summary - Spencer is ten months sober and struggling to ward off his cravings. When a case takes the team to his hometown, he knows there’s only one face that can keep him from falling off the wagon.
CW - heavy angst, hopeful ending, past drug use, thoughts of relapse, Spencer is just really sad, brief mention of a bad past relationship, tears.
WC - 3.8k
The golden medallion watched him thoughtfully from the dresser, the way any inanimate object could. He could feel the judgement rolling of it in waves, hearing its sickly sweet commentary as he stared unblinking at the opposite wall.
You’re not strong enough, it goaded him. You can’t do this alone. Relapse is inevitable.
Of course he knew a piece of metal couldn’t think, couldn’t chastise him, didn’t have its own voice to vocalise these vicious words. It wasn’t sentient. It was a coin, a simple gold chip. And anyway, the taunting voice following him around like a rain cloud sounded too much like his own for it to be anything other than his own intrusive thoughts.
His cell phone was next to him, tucked against his stomach as he lay in the foetal position atop the scratchy hotel bed sheet.
Since having to cut his meeting at Beltway short and joining the team for the case less than twelve hours ago, he’d tried calling the same number fifty two times.
Fifty two times he’d called and fifty two times he’d gotten the same monotonous voice in response.
The number you dialled has been disconnected.
Yet it didn’t stop him from calling the same number over and over until his thumb was numb and the beeping continued to sound in his ears long after he’d hung up.
It was said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Did he really think that after fifty two phone calls the line would become magically reconnected just because he was so persistent?
He wasn’t surprised exactly, but he was disappointed. It had been more years than he could count since he’d last tried to call that number.
No, that wasn’t true, Spencer knew exactly how many years it had been, he knew how many minutes it had been since he last heard your voice.
Five years, two months, sixteen days.
He’d been standing in your doorway bidding you his final goodbye before he flew to Virginia to start work at the BAU. You’d said you’d stay in touch and you had. For a time at least. And then life simply got in the way.
But today of all days when he was, as the literature put it, craving, for the first time in ten months of sobriety he needed to hear your voice. He needed to hear your dulcet tones on the other end of his phone telling him it would be alright.
And to make even more signs point towards you, the case had taken them to his hometown of Las Vegas.
He didn’t know for a fact that you still lived here but there was something in his gut that told him you were close by. He could feel your aura, sense you were within his grasp but just out of reach.
Without so much as blinking, he blindly reached for the dresser next to the bed and felt around until his fingers brushed over that taunting gold medallion.
He tucked it into his palm, squeezing so tightly it would surely leave indentations in his hand. It was meant to be a token to aid him, to keep him focused for the next two months when he got his own.
But it was simply serving as a reminder of his addiction and how much he would give to get high right now.
The dilaudid didn’t just allow for his escape from reality but it also offered him a reprieve from his perpetual loneliness. Spencer had been on his own for so long, fighting battles solo against demons who always seemed to win as of late.
Sin City had never felt as cold and lonely as it did right now.
Still clutching the chip in one hand he used his other to pick up his phone. He pulled up his call history whilst moving as little as humanly possible.
But this time he didn’t call your disconnected line.
He put the device on speaker and held it in his hand, finally closing his sore and tired eyes as he listened to it ring.
He counted four dial tones until his call was answered.
“Boy wonder?” Garcia’s tone didn’t hide her confusion. “It’s late, I thought you’d all called it a night?”
“It’s not about the case.” He barely recognised the sound coming out of his lips and judging by the long pause down the line, Penelope didn’t either.
“Ok. What’s up?” She sounded concerned, it was nothing new.
Since the team discovered his addiction it was the same tone they’d all used on him. It was growing tiresome.
“Can you find someone for me? Like if I gave you a name could you find out where they live?”
Another stretch of silence met his ears but he knew Garcia was still there. He exhaled through his nose and forced his exhausted limbs to straighten out, hearing the clicking of joints that shouldn’t be as worn down at his age.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed, holding in a groan deep in his lungs as he got himself into a sitting position.
The medallion was still pressuring aggressively into his palm.
“You know I can, Reid.” Garcia finally spoke. “But you’ve got to tell me what this is about. If I’m going to help you, you have to be honest with me.”
The truth was that Spencer felt like he was drowning. During daylight hours he was just about capable of keeping his head above water but in the night was when he started slipping beneath the surface.
The whole team was worried about him, hadn’t stopped worrying about him relapsing, worrying about his monsters out running him.
If Garcia wouldn’t give him the information he needed, it was likely ten months was where his sobriety ended.
“I need to see an old…friend.” Now was not the time to be going into detail. “It’s important.”
It wasn’t as though he deliberately kept you a secret from his team, he just never felt like talking about it. If he talked about you then all the pain would come flooding back to him, the waves of heartbreak likely to wash him away to sea for good.
But still, in the midst of undoubtedly the worst time of his life, you were the only person that had a hope of making it better. You’d been there holding his hand when he’d made the decision to have his mother committed, you’d been his rock in that horrible time of his life.
He knew when he was like this, you were the only one he trusted enough. You were the only person who had ever seen him, all of him, both metaphorically and physically.
“Reid,” Garcia sighed as she spoke his name and he knew exactly what words would leave her mouth next before she vocalised them. “Are you ok?”
Are you ok?
Such a flippant and vague question, but one in which he’d been asked more times than he cared to count over the past year.
And it wasn’t just the question, it was the tone that went along with it. The pity veiled in a cloak of concern, the kind of concern you only had for a person on the brink.
“No.” He confessed, loosening his grip on the chip maybe in the same way he was steadily loosening his grip on reality. “But that’s why I need you to do this for me.”
The desperation, the agony of his fractured mental state must have come through in his voice because it was only a second or two before Garcia replied.
“Ok.” She agreed and he heard the distinctive clicking of keys down the phone line. “Give me a name.”
***
It failed to register with Spencer that it was gone midnight when he emerged like a shadow from his hotel room, creeping down the corridors as if he were nothing more than an apparition. Limbs moved of their own accord with the address Garcia had given him burnt into his memory.
He found himself behind the wheel of one of the hired SUV’s, foot hugging the gas pedal as he sped in the direction of your home. The gold medallion sat on the dashboard almost like a reminder that this wasn’t a venture to buy drugs.
As much as he wished it was.
He knew the roads in Vegas like the back of his hand and he traversed them on autopilot. One road blurred into another, his focus waning.
All he could really make out through his tired and heavy eyes was the assault of light around every turn, seemingly getting brighter with each new street he drove down.
It soon became blinding, piercing his retinas as somehow he continued to drive, but all he could see was light. It all felt like some kind of fever dream, the haze that shrouded his brain was so familiar somehow.
It was almost as if he was high. But that wasn’t possible, was it? He’d remember if he’d used, wouldn’t he?
No, he couldn’t be high, he was simply fatigued. He was exhausted from work, drained from the constant internal battle he was fighting over his abstinence.
He just needed to see your face, to rid his vision of these damn lights that seemed determined to impede his vision.
He never could see clearly since you’d been gone.
Somehow he ended up parking the SUV on a quiet and sleepy road and then once again, his limbs moving without his brain telling them to do so, he was climbing out of the vehicle, up the front steps of a building, and knocking on the door.
He didn’t know what he planned on saying when, or if you opened the door. He hadn’t exactly stopped to think this through, if he had done there was no way he would have just shown up at your door after five years. He had more sense than that. At least he usually did.
All he knew was that if he didn’t see your face he had absolutely no doubt he would relapse. It was an incredible amount of pressure to put on one person, his sobriety rested on your shoulders and you were none the wiser.
He rubbed his palm aggressively against his left eye socket while he waited, still someone seeing those blinding lights long after they’d disappeared.
Time had ceased to be relevant to Spencer long ago and so he had no idea how long it was he was standing in your stoop, rubbing his eye as if to somehow erase any trace of light still poisoning his retinas.
But eventually the door creaked open, slowly, cautiously; it was the middle of the night and of course you would be sceptical about someone knocking on your door.
He dropped his hand back to his side as you appeared from behind the door, your hands clutching the wood, ready to slam it closed again if you perceived a threat.
Your brow was furrowed and you were rolling your bottom lip between your teeth. But a fraction of a second later he saw the realisation flood your features, the recognition of the man on the other side of your door in the middle of the night.
Your frown faded at the same time your eyes widened in an animated fashion. Your jaw fell, leaving your mouth agape while you sucked in a thick breath. The hands that had been clutching the doorframe fell to your sides and you simply stared at him unblinking.
“Uh, hi Y/N.” He offered you a meek shrug which told you without the use of his words that he had no idea why he was here.
He stuffed his hands inside of his pockets and brushed his fingertips across the chip in an attempt to keep him grounded but it failed.
You remained silent, taking him in. He’d aged, of course he had, so had you. But in your mind he was still the twenty-one year old saying his goodbyes as he left you forever in pursuit of his own dreams, in the process destroying your own.
But it wasn’t just the fact he’d aged, he almost seemed like a completely different person from the one you remembered; a ghost of his former self.
The dark circles he always wore under his eyes were blacker than you recalled, a stark contrast again his sallow, alabaster skin. His eyes always held so much emotion, like his heart lived through his pupils but right now they were vacant, staring through you rather than at you.
His lips were cracked and split from profuse chewing, something you knew he only did when he was nervous or upset. His shoulders drooped, his neck retreated inside his sweater as though he just wanted to disappear inside it all together.
You took a few breaths, trying to hurriedly reconcile all the emotions running rampant within you so you could move past them and focus on this broken man on your doorstep.
“Spencer,” you swallowed as you spoke. “What are you…why are you…?”
“I’ve been trying to call. I’ve been…” his voice was trembling and trailed off to try and correct it, whilst also trying to clutch at the right words. “I’ve been on my own for long enough.”
The last part of his sentence was whispered, so quiet you had to strain your ears to hear him.
He hung his head, looking down at his feet as he didn’t want to see your reaction to his pathetic words. He grasped the medallion tightly, it still didn’t help him to feel rooted.
But then he felt your delicate fingers brushing against the underside of his jaw, gently guiding his face back up until your eyes met. Even when they did, you kept your hand on him and your simple touch was everything he needed to feel tethered again.
It was as if you realised this too, as your lip started curling into a soft smile and when you removed your hand from under his chin you were quick to place it instead on his wrist.
“You wanna come in?” You tapped his arm, causing him to dislodge his hand from his pocket.
He nodded a little too frantically, sending his messy curls bouncing into his eyes. But he didn’t seem to care.
With his hand free out of his pocket he hurriedly caught your own hand and the grip in which he held you showed off his desperation.
You offered him another smile before leading him inside by his hand. And somehow just thanks to your touch, he felt whole once more.
***
You made some chamomile tea while Spencer sat on your couch, eyes scouring the room, taking in every inch of your life. He committed everything to memory, drew a map of your home on his heart.
By the time you returned Spencer had made himself comfortable, his converse tucked neatly next to the couch and he sat with legs criss crossed, a big plush sofa cushion resting in his lap. He was toying with something shiny between his fingers but he quickly pocketed it when he saw you coming back.
You handed Spencer one of the mugs which he took with a small, tight lipped smile of thanks. You sat down on the other end of the couch, leaving ample space between the two of you.
Spencer took a sip and if he noticed it was scalding hot it didn’t even seem to register with him. He cradled the mug in his hands and sighed.
“I don’t know.” He croaked, barely able to maintain eye contact with you for more than half a second.
“You don’t know what?” You replied, giving him a slightly curious look.
“You want to know why I’m here. You were inevitably going to ask. And the answer is: I don’t know.” He sipped more of the tea.
“Ok.” There was no point in following that up, no use reminding him of how many years it had been because he knew that better than you did.
“I tried to call.” He said for the second time. “A lot.”
“I had to change my number a while back. I had some issues with an ex-boyfriend. He got…obsessed after the break up. It’s ok now though.” You shrugged.
Spencer noticeably winced, hating himself for not being able to be there for you during that time. It also had a little to do with the idea of you being with someone who wasn’t him.
He’d asked you to go with him. When he moved to Virginia, he’d asked you to go with him. But you had a life in Vegas, you had dreams of your own that you weren’t willing to give up in order to chase his.
And along the way you’d met someone else, of course you had. Just because he hadn’t even so much as looked at another person in the last five years, it didn’t mean you had to do the same.
But secretly, he’d wished you had.
He sipped his tea, his heart constricting inside of his chest at the thought of you with another man. You were each other's firsts; you were Spencer’s only.
When he didn’t speak again you put your mug down on the coffee table and scooted a little closer to him. He could feel the heat radiating off of you.
Spencer hadn’t been able to see clearly since you’d been gone, but now as he looked at you it was like a thick fog had lifted from in front of his eyes.
“Spence?” You brought him back to the present, eyes blinking at you several times. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
He copied you and put his own mug next to yours on the coffee table before lacing his hands together on the cushion in his lap.
“I’ve been…unwell.” He mused, remembering the terminology Ethan had used to describe his addiction. “I mean, I was unwell but I got better. And recently I guess I’ve been feeling…sick again.”
You tentatively reached out and placed your hand on top of his and he felt so instantly relaxed at the feeling of your skin on his.
“And you came here because…”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I just knew if I didn’t see you I would have done something stupid tonight. I…I’ve missed you.”
Of course he’d known he missed you before this moment, but Spencer had long ago compartmentalised those emotions. He tried not to dwell on them because if he did he probably wouldn’t make it out of bed most mornings.
Your absence had left a hole in his life. He’d tried filling it with work, and for the most part it had been effective.
But being beaten to death and back again in Hankel’s cabin, all those emotions managed to break free of the cage in which he’d held them captive.
Dilaudid helped mute them, helped him escape from the loneliness he’d harboured for five years. Being sober again, he’d been forced to feel everything.
You briefly squeezed his hands before softening your grip, unaware of just how much your touch was soothing him.
“It’s been so long, Spencer.” You breathed out, thumb caressing his knuckles. “I missed you so much and now you’re here…” Now you’re here I never want to be apart from you again.
“I know.” He nodded, knowing what you weren’t saying. “Me too.”
A quiet understanding passed between the two of you while you unlaced his hands so you could entwine your fingers with his.
All the pent up emotions clung to the walls of the room like stale cigarette smoke. Everything that had ever been left unsaid between the two of you being spoken without the use of words.
You sat like this for some time until, still keeping your hands interlaced, you stood up, tugging Spencer to do the same.
He let you lead him by the hand towards your bedroom where you let go of him so you could lie down on top of the made bed. He took a few seconds of contemplation before an encouraging smile from you convinced him to do the same.
You laid on your backs but your hand soon found his again and he held on so tightly as if afraid you might float away.
His other hand slipped inside of his pocket and he pulled out the medallion which he cupped inside of his palm.
With you there by his side, holding his hand, the chip was much less taunting of him than it had been earlier in the night.
It was never supposed to be an omen, but a talisman, and now he was seeing it for what it really was.
He had two months until he would receive his own, and laying next to you in your bed he finally believed he could achieve that.
He rolled his head to the side on the pillow and you did the same, a soft smile cloying to your lips.
“What…what happens tomorrow?” He couldn’t help but ask, always in need of answers to questions that didn’t always need asking.
You gently squeezed his hand as a small exhale left your parted lips.
“Let’s worry about that in the morning, ok?”
“I wish I could.” He rolled his lip between his teeth. “Maybe coming here was a bad idea. I don’t know if I can just leave again this time.”
“Spence,” you shuffled a little closer to him. “We’ll figure it out, ok? But if you think for a second I’m just going to be able to let you walk away again, well for a genius, that’s just dumb.”
Spencer couldn’t help the chuckle that left his lips as his heart soared at your words. He brushed his fingers over yours whilst doing the same to his chip.
He exhaled a slightly shaky breath whilst turning completely onto his side and opening his palm so you could see the coin.
“It’s not mine.” He was quick to say. “I still have two more months to make my year.”
He didn’t need to say more than that. You mirrored his position and took the medallion from his open palm.
He wanted you to have all the facts, to have total transparency between you so you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into. But he underestimated just how much you still knew him.
“I figured.” You whispered. “You’ll get there. And if you’ll let me, I’d like to help you.”
Once again his heart soared, his whole body feeling lighter than air. Tears he didn’t know had sprung to his eyes, started rolling down his cheeks but yet, he was smiling.
“I’d like that very much.” He nodded against the pillow.
You fell into silence after that and soon Spencer’s tired eyes started to flutter closed.
You’d been the one to show him how to love and along the way he’d forgotten. But now he was starting to remember it all. He’d been on his own for long enough and maybe, just maybe, you could show him how to love all over again.
Being In your presence, the voices in his head were silenced, the lights weren’t quite so blinding. And with your touch, he could finally sleep.
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Wasteland Survival Guide: Travel Talk - The Great American Road Trip (Commonwealth & Capital Wasteland -> New Vegas and Points West)
- Wow, so uh, you all really liked my post on foot travel between Fallout 3 and Fallout 4 locations, so buckle up and get ready for round two. Hello again, and welcome to my second absurdly niche TED talk on realistic travel in the Fallout universe (for fanfiction and tabletop RP purposes)
- Today we will be covering a topic that I have seen several people ask/post about: travel between Eastern and Western US locations in the Fallout universe, i.e., “how do I get my Courier to interact with my east coasters/how do I travel across the US when my last name isn’t Maxson”
- Good news, everyone: I have questionable and way-overthought answers for you – this time with maps
- I’m limiting this to FO:NV for western US areas because this is already a MONSTER post
- There are actually many good routes for this (I’ve driven some of them) but the simplest route takes your party from downtown DC to Las Vegas, NV – a distance of 2,421 miles – while only changing roads four to five times
- Most of that distance is on two highways: one you might know (I-70), and another we all know WAY too well (I-15, or the “Long 15” from FONV – yes it’s real and yes God help me I’ve driven long parts of it in rental cars)
- SO for starters I’d like to introduce those of you who may be unfamiliar to Interstate 70 (I-70), a highway that is the bane of my existence near and dear to my heart
- I-70 is long. VERY long. The “Long 15” in Fallout: NV is an impostor. IRL, the I-15 is 1,433.52 miles long. I-70 is 2,151 miles long. (I-70 isn’t even the longest US highway - I-90 clocks in at 3,020.44 miles, and spans coast to coast, from Seattle, Washington to Boston, Massachusetts. More on that later.) The US Federal Highway Administration gave us a great infographic for how stupidly long I-70 is when they tested new sign fonts in the early 2000s (there’s one of these at either end of I-70)
- This sign shows approximate distances in miles from I-70’s eastern end at the Baltimore Beltway (I-695) to Columbus, Ohio; St. Louis, Missouri; Denver, Colorado and Cove Fort, Utah
- That’s right – you can get most of the way across the mid-latitude continental US via one road (or by following a single post-apocalyptic rubble-and-tarmac pile). Map below (the mileage in the map is actually 30mi. off because Google Maps)
- Good news for your party: it is easy to get to I-70 from FO3 locations
- I-70 is either on, or just north of, the FO3 base game map based upon the locations you can travel to in-game. Why do I say "on or north of”? Well, Todd Howard & co. seem to have combined the continuity-of-government facility called Raven Rock Mountain Complex (in PA, way north of I-70) with another continuity-of-government facility called Mount Weather (in Virginia and way south of I-70) to give us the Enclave base “Raven Rock.” (The stuff we see in in-game Raven Rock seems to combine the publicly stated functions of both IRL facilities). So, it’s possible that I-70 is on the FO3 map and unmarked, or it’s alternatively possible that it falls a very short distance north of the map. Here is a map showing Raven Rock (pink icon north of I-70) and Mt. Weather (pink icon south of I-70) to illustrate the confusion. (Those of you who play FO76 will see some very familiar location names on this map as well)
- All of that said here are suggested routes from the Krispy Kreme outside the Dupont Circle metro stop in DC to the western end of I-70 in Cove Fort, UT -
Be adventurous and follow the Metro tunnels (uhhhh if MacCready isn’t in your party, anyway; please spare him) from Dupont Circle to Shady Grove Station; from there follow the I-370 spur to I-270 northbound to I-70 westbound; continue west until you hit Cove Fort, UT
Follow Connecticut Ave. NW north out of DC until you hit I-495 (DC Beltway); take this to I-270 northbound to I-70; continue westbound
- If coming from points on the Fallout 4 map and heading to points on the Fallout NV map, and you have followed I-95 south to Baltimore, MD – from I-95 southbound, follow the Baltimore beltway (I-695) to I-70.
If taking this route use the Baltimore Beltway’s outer loop/head westbound – if you take the inner loop/go eastbound around the Baltimore beltway you’re risking the Key Bridge being washed out.
Also, definitely start following I-695 when your party hits it the first time, not the second. I know it’s tempting to just barrel over the north side of the beltway/stay on I-95 south until you hit downtown and then try to take the Beltway’s inner loop north to I-70. There must be all kinds of phat lewts in downtown Baltimore, right, and this route would let your party investigate on the way? But to do this you’d have to get off I-95 and onto I-895 to go through the Harbor Tunnel which probably would have flooded in the intervening 210 years. End result? Your party is now stranded on the wrong side of the Harbor. No bueno
But hey, if you do hit up Baltimore’s Inner Harbor and survive, you can go see the USS Constellation, sister ship to the USS Constitution - that’s the rocket-powered tall ship crewed by robots in Fallout 4 - so that’s fun
- Once you get to Cove Fort, UT, your party will discover the best part about I-70: the road it dead-ends into. Everyone please welcome back the highway you spent half your #$!*ing life on as Courier 6 in Fallout NV
- That’s right: I-70 takes you all the way across the US from the Fallout 3 map and plunks you directly onto the I-15, FONV’s main north-south thoroughfare
- Bonus: I-15 takes you from Cove Fort, UT to Las Vegas, NV by way of Mount Zion National Park, UT (Honest Hearts map area in NV) – that area of the NV map is just a slight detour from I-15 onto State Roads 17 and 9
- Second Bonus: guess what else I-15 runs past? Big Mountain. Abbreviation: Big Mt. Bastardization: The Big Empty
- The takeaway here is that you literally only have to change which road your party follows four (4) times to get from Dupont Circle’s Metro stop to Las Vegas. I have to imagine that any cross-country caravans might follow old I-15 and old I-70 for this reason
- I mentioned I-90 as leaving Boston and heading due west. Like I-70, I-90 intersects I-15, but much farther north . I’m not recommending that route because it is MUCH easier to go on foot down the East Coast than to go on foot from I-90 in Montana due south all the way through the Rocky Mountains to reach Las Vegas. Nevertheless it is a viable alternate route from the Fallout 4 map to points west, so I’ve included this info
- I headcanon Kellogg got to Boston from NCR territory by following a portion of this route as well
- Here’s the travel itinerary/mileage breakdown:
Provided you are able to vaguely follow these routes, it’s 2,421 miles from the Dupont Circle Metro Station in DC to the Strip in Las Vegas
Traveling at a rate of 2.5 mph on foot for 8hrs./day (with no breaks) the absolute MINIMUM foot distance travel time is 121.05 days
That’s about FOUR MONTHS one-way with no breaks
And that is very optimistic: this route crosses through BOTH the Appalachian AND (more relevantly) the Rocky Mountains. I have driven the Rockies. Those grades are STEEP
There are forest fires and plains fires and tornados and dust devils and, uh, just deserts, as well as heavy snowfall areas, plus rockfall/mudslide/avalanche risk areas, on this route
God help your party if you go past Nevada into FO1 and FO2 territory – then you’re also liable to get tule fog, Santa Ana winds, more forest and brush fires (on a HUGE scale) and earthquakes - I have driven in/through these in the southwest and central Cali and they were not super fun, definitely would not appreciate on foot nope nope nope
Your party will also have to rest/fight/hunt/gather/maintain weapons/heal from injuries in addition to avoiding all the natural disaster risks and weather issues
My estimation? Leave five to six months just for foot travel between DC and NV, and figure that a caravan is only going to do this round trip MAXIMUM once per year
- Also as an FYI in some parts of the US people put “the” in front of interstate names. In others, you will be looked at as An Outsider if you do this. Don’t ask me why. In the words of Drew Carey, “the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.” So - it’s sometimes “the I-15” when you’re talking about the Long 15 and pretty much always “the I-5” when you’re in California but it’s definitely NOT “the I-70” or “the I-695.” There is no logic here welcome to America
- Thank you for coming to my TED talk
EDIT: here’s the link to the first in this series https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/edaworks/686101227706138624?source=share
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