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opticfile · 11 months

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝

✧ super long wait i know :( i ended up rewriting the entire think 2k words in </3 i hope its worth it i didn't expect to get 500 votes in that poll!!

—✦ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 // you were childhood friends with Alhaitham, but what went wrong along the way? after you having a falling out and move away, you reunite in adulthood and conflicting feelings envelop your life

—✦ 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 // Alhaitham

—✦ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 // use of she/her pronouns, parental issues, divorce, unrequited love, weak attempt at angst, jealousy, alcohol, alhaitham being a jerk

5.9k words

You were seven when you met Alhaitham.

You stuck out your hand to him with a wide grin, bandages over your knees and bruises littering your shins from playing a little too rough. You were bright-eyed and excited to meet a new friend.

Alhaitham was different.

You didn’t know what to think of him. Perhaps the word for it is reserved, but in your little seven-year-old mind you just thought he was plain weird. He tilted his head at you and analyzed you before returning the handshake, and maybe he didn't know what to think of you either. You were only befriending him because he looked lonely reading that silly-looking book of his, you were doing him a favor.

“I’m Y/n!”

“I’m Alhaitham.” He furrowed his brows, “You’re a bit loud.”

You huffed, “I’m just me.”

He seemed to like your answer, and little eight-year-old Alhaitham smiled just the slightest bit.

“Well, then I guess that’s good.”

“Yup! So do you wanna play?” You rocked on your feet.

“I’m busy.” He gestured to his book.

“But books are boring,” You scrunched your nose, “we can play hide and seek instead.”

“...Okay, sure.”

You were hooked. Your interest was piqued and all of a sudden this weird boy was fascinating to you, you wanted to know everything about him. You trailed behind him and giggled at the things he said when he sounded funny and asked him stacks of questions that made him sigh. You were irreversibly obsessed with the boy.

You followed him around when he was on walks and dragged him along with you when he wasn’t. Alhaitham let you, too, he tolerated your noisiness and enjoyed your silliness, and was happy with it. You were thick as thieves, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m taller than you, ya know.” You snickered, using your hand to measure your height but maybe your hand was a little unstable and made you think you were 4 inches taller than you were.

“What? No way, I’m definitely taller.” Alhaitham did his best to look down on you, or at least as far down as someone can look on a person the same height as them.

“Nuh-uh!” You said, “I bet I’m faster too!”

You raced Alhaitham and you don't remember who won. But you do remember the way you laid down in the grass and your chest heaved, and the way that sweat beaded at Alhaitham’s hairline as he grinned at you. Maybe another silly argument ensued about who won, a childish one that had no right or wrong, just the contrary nature of two kids being kids.

You remember poking around in rivers and little caves—the ones you were always too scared to go into but would shout into and listen for the echo—with him by your side. Perhaps he wasn’t the same as you, or maybe your interests didn't quite align, but that kind of thing doesn’t stop kids from being kids together. So while he read his books and pondered the biggest question a child can comprehend, you played in the mud and made bracelets out of flowers.

That year, you brought Alhaitham to your home for dinner one night. You had made this mud pie in the river and it was getting late, you asked him if he wanted to come eat at your house, and he nodded without hesitation. You ran up the path to your father who was sitting on the steps outside your house and handed him your mud pie with a smile, and he beamed down at you.

“Aren’t you quite the baker?” Your father kissed your hairline.

“Yup!”

“Who’s this little boy?” Your mother asked warmly, leaning the broom she was using against the house.

“He’s my friend! His name is Alhaitham.” You sat on the stairs by your father.

“Hello.” Alhaitham smiled shyly, “It’s nice to meet you.”

You remember that day and perhaps it's the memory that’s most sunbathed and joy-covered and dear to your heart.

You were ten when playing in the mud turned into something else.

It’s turned into making little cups out of the wild clay you found in the rivers near your home. You were an artist, and you know how Sumeru sees artists. Your mother supported you, she enjoyed you bringing her your little sun-dried pots and plates and she thought it was the cutest thing.

To your father, your little hobby seemed to be losing its charm. Were you really serious about this? Why were you spending your time doing something like this? Maybe he tried to hide it but maybe he also failed, because even if his words are kind, his face is not. Even if it’s past your bedtime that doesn’t always mean you’re asleep. Even if your door is closed doesn’t mean words don’t echo.

“Why can't she be more like Alhaitham? So naturally intelligent and he barely has to study…” He sighed, “We should’ve been harder on her from the start.”

Your mother pleaded with him, that you’re just ten. But your father only retorted cruelly.

“I will not have my daughter be a failure.”

You sniffled into your little nightgown while you hid in your closet and tears rolled down your eyes and you wondered if you could be more like him, you could gain your father’s praise and love. But in your little brain, you hated Alhaitham for stealing away the love your father would extend when you were little, but such conflicting feelings of affection and resentment are hard for a child to process, and you didn’t know what to make of it.

In the morning when you woke up your eyes were puffy and dry, your stuffed animal had fallen into the crack between your bed and the wall and you wondered if your father was still home. You peeked out of your door and were greeted by a quiet house and your mother drinking tea at the dinner table. Had she always looked this tired?

You were ten and a half when you started to copy him.

Everything he did, you imitated. Everything he said, you questioned him on. You just wanted to know and understand because you wanted to make your parents proud, what little kid wouldn't? But maybe your questions weren't as intelligent as you thought they sounded and maybe common sense and rational thinking could've answered your questions.

But you saw the world in color and art and not numbers and letters, how do you understand a world you do not see?

Yet you tried—and Alhaitham could tell.

He wasn’t sure if he was proud of you for advancing into intellectual spaces, or if he was tired of being your guide. Sometimes you’d peek over his shoulder at his book and he wondered if you could read the pages—you could, your father taught you how—and when he realized you could he waited a little longer to turn the pages. But slowing himself down to accommodate you was unpleasant. Alhaitham firmly believes in the pursuit of knowledge, yet he also believes in worrying about himself before he worries about others. And yet Alhaitham could not simply focus on himself when he was worrying about you.

He tried to push down the disdain because you were his friend. Three years strong, why should he let this dampen it?

(but his feelings and irritation only built and it was only a matter of time before you would notice it in the way he acted)

“Hey, ‘Haitham.” You chirped, “Can I borrow some of your books?”

“Maybe, which ones?” He looked over at you.

“I dunno, good ones. Maybe some that will make me smarter!”

He smiled, “Sure, but only if you promise you’ll take care of them.”

You tried to, really.

You had held them with care the first day you got them and turned the pages slowly so you wouldn't rip them. You made sure that no liquids would be around when you were reading so you didn’t spill anything on the pages. Your eyes traced the loops of the letters and you burned the facts into your head.

But on day two you accidentally ripped the corner of pg 54 and splashed some of your drink on pg 67. No amount of patting dry or rubbing clean would lift the stain, you only managed to lift the top layer of paper and make this uneven circle of damp, pink, peeling paper. You were afraid of the fact you broke your promise and afraid of how Alhaitham may react.

When you returned the books which now each had their own imperfections due to your clumsiness, you felt that sting in your nose that you feel when you’re about to cry. The look in Alhaithams eyes—that disappointment he didn’t know what to do with—was hurting your heart.

“It’s… It’s fine.”

You wonder if he was trying to be kind at that moment.

You were thirteen when your father smashed your dreams.

You made a vase for your mother, you painted it and put flowers in it and she put it in the dining table. But your father was a hard man, inside and out, and the vase wasn’t. The hardened clay proved to be softer than your father’s anger. Your heart wailed and you sobbed into your mother's shoulder as she soothed you, rubbing circles into your back.

“I think you should work towards academics like Alhaitham.” She whispered, “I will help you study.”

What could you do when your only talent was of no use to anyone around you?

Perhaps not even your closest friend is able to be charmed by your talents, maybe that's why he was looking at you with such disinterest. It seemed that your childishness was no longer something he can smile at, maybe it's because he’s fourteen and he thinks he’s too cool to play hide and seek with you now, but you couldn’t help but think no, something else is going on.

Yet every time you were with him, you noticed the way Alhaithams hair framed his face and the way his brows knit together when he was focused. You watched his hands as he flipped the pages. You brushed your pencil over your paper in the shape of his face and you tucked it away because it's your little secret and your crush will die out soon enough.

But every time you were with him you also realized how much smarter he was than you and how much you hated it. You saw the way he had changed and you wondered if you were changing too and if this was going to be good for your friendship or bad for your feelings.

You still resented him because your father liked him more. But then you looked in his eyes and you saw why.

Maybe you liked him more too.

You remember sneaking out of your room a few nights later, after another one of your parent’s fights, and wobbling over to Alhaitham’s. You tapped on his window relentlessly until his drapes were pulled back and he was left scowling down at you. You smiled in return.

Alhaitham opened his window, “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“I can’t- I can’t sleep.” You pouted, “You know how that is.”

“I might end up knowing if you keep me awake like this.” He rubbed his eyes.

“Can you come out?”

“Y/n-”

“Just for a bit, I need to tire out I guess.”

He looked at you with a severely irritated facial expression, taking a deep breath before admitting defeat. He turned from the window and threw on a shirt—you only realized he was shirtless when he stepped back, and perhaps it was more embarrassment than respect that made you turn your eyes away. Alhaitham climbed out of his bedroom window and shot you a glare, you were troubling him so and for no good reason.

Still, he entertained you. Maybe he did like you more than he thought, or at least cared about you to an extent. He thought of you as this annoying distraction, and yet he was letting you distract him in the middle of the night because he just felt kind of bad. It's unnatural, really.

“Do you think that-” You looked up—up—at him, “-we move or the sky moves?”

“What?” He looked down—down—at you, “Are you a philosopher now?”

“I’m just bored and you’re not talking.” You pouted.

“Sorry,” He looked away, “I just don't have much to say at this hour.”

Do you not have much to say at this hour? Or do you not have much to say to me?

“It’s fine.”

And you sat in silence. And the contrast between then and just a few years before made you cringe.

You were fifteen when you and Alhaitham stopped hanging out as much.

The decline between you and Alhaitham was a slow, painful one. It matched the decline of your and your father’s relationship, and his and your mother’s too. It seemed like every happy relationship in your life was fading into something sad and lonely.

He snapped at you for the first time, you think he was a bit harsh, really. But you only blamed yourself because he’s right, you’ve probably been clingy and annoying. You latched onto him for comfort and ignored the way he scowled at you and groaned. You didn't want to accept the fact he doesn’t like you anymore because you still really liked him, you admired him in every way.

“Y/n- Y/n, can you stop following me around like a lost puppy?”

“What? I’m just-”

“You’re just being annoying.”

“...How could you say that to me?” You frowned.

“Because you won't listen to anything else.”

The last time you saw him, you were sixteen.

Your parents separated and you moved away with your mother, you never really saw Alhaitham again after that. Maybe it was a good thing since after that day it was just awkward and uncomfortable. Part of you wonders if Alhaitham ever felt bad or thought of you. You imagined one of those classic rom-com moments. He found out you were moving away and had so much regret and guilt in his heart that he ran through the rain and mud to catch you before you left. Running up and waving his arms to get your attention before you left for good, and you would run to him and hug him and he’d apologize and-

And none of that happened.

So you tried to focus on yourself and your life and doing what you wanted to do with it. You pretended to be over him and never even mentioned his name out loud, and after a year or two you found new friends and people to hang out with. People who were like you, who enjoyed you, and who you matured with.

But your forever-teenage heart was still broken, and your sniffles echoed through the house to your mother, and she had to come into your room gently and hold you in her arms. Your mother ran her fingers through your hair, comforting you in the only way she knew how.

“I know that I shouldn’t be hung up on him-” You hiccupped, “-he was a complete dick to me but I just… I still love him, Mom, it hurts.”

She let you stain her shirt with your tears and snot.

“It’s okay, I know…” She hushed you, “It’s normal to feel this way, it’ll get better though, I promise.”

“But what if it doesn't? What if it doesn’t go away?”

“It’ll be okay. Just trust me.”

You hated having to move away from her, she was your rock and she stabilized you. But you left and ended up in Sumeru City, and that’s when you met Kaveh.

You giggled at his jokes and you enjoyed long talks with him, ones that didn't turn into arguments. The two of you would go out to lunch occasionally—and you paid since he was a bit… lacking in that area—with him. You learned about his job as an architect and you told him about your little pottery hobbies. Kaveh was the one to encourage you to pursue it as a career, you could sell your work or- or maybe teach it to others even! You were moved by his enthusiasm, maybe you would get into it.

You had invited Kaveh to your home a few times that year, but you had never been to his. Maybe it was a good thing, anyway, he always said he had a roommate that he argued with quite a bit. If this roommate disagreed with Kaveh, they’d also probably disagree with you. And you weren’t fond of intellectual arguments, just discussions. Arguments made you want to cry, really.

You often popped open a bottle of wine with Kaveh when he came over after a long day. You poured two glasses—and many refills—and sat at your countertop with him.

“You know,” Kaveh was tipsy already, “Tomorrow you ought to come over to my place.”

“Are you sure? You keep telling me about that roommate of yours.”

“He should be busy,” Kaveh smiled, “We’d have the place to ourselves.”

“Maybe then, why the sudden change of heart?” You tilted your head, Kaveh usually voted against you coming over.

“Maybe its the wine,” He groaned, “Maybe I just feel bad that I’m always coming over and eating your food and drinking your wine.”

“Oh, no, it's fine.” You reassured him, “You’ve done so much for me already, without you I would’ve never started teaching classes. I don’t mind you drinking my wine, I poured it after all.”

“I insist!”

The man who opened the door was not Kaveh, it was not even a stranger.

“...Y/n?” Alhaitham furrowed his brows at you, “What are you doing here?”

“Alhaitham-!” You said, startled, “I um-”

“I’m sorry but right now I don’t really feel like talking.”

“No, Alhaitham, I’m-”

“I’m sorry to disappoint after you’ve come all this way but-”

“I’m not here for you.” You glared. Come all this way? You walked for maybe ten minutes! Did he really think he was worth coming all the way to Sumeru city if you didn’t live here? The nerve of him…

“She’s here for me.” Kaveh grumbled behind him, “And you’re not supposed to be.”

“Kaveh, hey!” You smiled past Alhaitham.

“Sorry, Y/n, I tried to send a message that my roommate was still home but I suppose it didn’t make it in time…”

“Oh, no, that’s fine.”

“Come in, come in!”

Alhaitham simply stood in his place at the door staring at you, and there was this look in his eyes you couldn't decipher. You pushed past him gently and hugged Kaveh in greeting. How does it feel now, Alhaitham?

✧ A SCHOLAR’S MONOLOGUE

Alhaitham was twenty-five when he ran into you again.

He didn’t know what to think at first. You show up on his door—how you got his address he’s unsure—and look just as shocked as he does. The last time you two spoke must have been when he was sixteen, no, seventeen? An eight-year gap left much of your life unknown. Just looking at you now you were far more intriguing. Though perhaps you were always cute to him in a way, if only you were as cute once you opened your mouth.

But when you did open your mouth and he heard your voice his ears tingled at this familiarly unfamiliar sound, and then you said you were there for Kaveh and it clicked for him. Kaveh always did remind Alhaitham of you, that might be why he found himself so irritated by him. You pushed past Alhaitham and headed into Kaveh’s arms and that left Alhaitham wondering the extent of your relationship with him. It’s odd, really, his thought process right now.

Then he listened in on your conversation with Kaveh and as each question he had was answered he came up with three more. When did you start giving lectures? When did you move to Sumeru City? When did you meet Kaveh?

“My classes went so well today, I really can’t thank you enough for encouraging me to start.” You chirped at Kaveh with this smile that was so much softer than your goofy grin when you were kids.

(maybe you were only mentioning this because you want Alhaitham to hear how good you're doing)

“You always had it in you, I don’t deserve that much credit!”

So Kaveh is the one who encouraged you to start. Encouraging you is something Alhaitham rarely did now that he thinks about it. Maybe Kaveh’s friendship is a much better fit for you, then. But why does he long to get to know you as if he hasn’t known you from the age of eight?

You were so far from the sixteen-year-old neighbor he once had. You were mature, physically and mentally, you spoke with grace and confidence and your conversations with Kaveh were undeniably intellectual. This is different from the person who asked him “How come you’re taller than me?” at the age of eleven. He was captivated, enamored even, despite not wanting to admit it to himself.

So he kept eavesdropping, he kept learning about your life indirectly. Suddenly this memory of you—the one tainted by irritation and annoyance of having you follow him around for eight years—was replaced by this new longing to get to know you as if you were a stranger.

It’s odd, he thinks, this feeling.

✧ END OF A SCHOLAR’S MONOLOGUE

It’s really awkward to hang out with your new friend in front of your childhood ex-friend.

You were laughing at inside jokes with Kaveh and talking about your lives with Alhaitham just across the room holding a book in his lap. You knew he was listening, you noticed. You would glance at him, then away, but your eyes always wondered over again in curiosity.

Alhaitham was so different, yet exactly the same. He was taller, you noticed that when you walked in. His face was mature with this feeling that he’s been through a thousand challenges and overcome every one. He seemed just as intelligent as ever, obviously, and just as bland.

(that was just you being mean, though, you didn't really think of him like that)

Every time you looked over Kaveh noticed, and there was this knowing smile lingering on his lips. Maybe he thought you found Alhaitham cute, or maybe he had overheard everything that Alhaitham said and he was being nosey about your past.

Either way, he asked.

“So, are you going to explain what’s going on here?” Kaveh whispered a certain glint in his eyes.

“Kaveh! He’s right there,” You whispered through clenched teeth, “It’s not even that big of a deal.”

“Let’s take a walk then,” Kaveh announces aloud, Alhaithams head tilting towards the sound. “Come, Y/n.”

You stood with Kaveh, shooting him this playfully irritated glance and took his outstretched hand in yours.

“See you, Alhaitham.” Kaveh bid farewell.

“Bye.” Alhaitham spoke without looking back at you this time.

You only were allowed fifteen minutes of peace before Kaveh jumped on you again.

“How do you know him? Did you guys date?”

“What? No, archons no, we were neighbors as kids.” You scrunched your face.

(but your heart sped up and those feeling you buried were scratching at the lid of their coffin)

“Oh? Then why did you look at him like that? You almost started drooling~.” Kaveh teased, nudging you.

“Oh quit it.” You nudged him back, “I haven’t seen him in almost a decade. That’s all.”

“It sounds like you ended on bad terms,” He mused, “Ahem ‘I don't feel like talking right now’ and all.”

You giggled at his imitation, “Well, he called me annoying and told me to leave him alone before I moved away. I’d say those terms are pretty bad.”

“Wow, what a dick move.” Kaveh laughed lightly, “And you’re still looking at him with hearts in your eyes?”

“I am not, and you know it!”

“Aww, are you embarrassed?” Kaveh grinned, throwing an arm around your shoulder, “Hmm, perhaps you should look at me like that instead next time.”

You rolled your eyes.

You saw Alhaitham everywhere after that.

You learned from Kaveh that Alhaitham was the current Acting Grand Sage—a fact that blew your mind completely because wow, he’s really made it far hasn't he? You could almost imagine your father comparing you to him again, it made you laugh a little bit. Maybe that’s why you kept seeing him around, in the streets, in the corner of your eye when you were at the tavern, and (obviously) in Kaveh’s home.

It was like you were strangers who knew too much about each other to be comfortable in the same room. If Kaveh excused himself for a single moment you and Alhaitham would just sit in silence, glancing at one another and away when you get caught. For months, not a single word was shared between the two of you, and if it weren’t so awkward you might have enjoyed the silence.

The silence was broken on a cold morning when you were meeting Kaveh at his place to go out to lunch. Once again, it was not Kaveh who opened the door, it was Alhaitham.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” You mustered a smile, “Is Kaveh ready?”

From afar, you heard Kaveh shout, “I’ll be ready soon!”

Alhaitham stood in the doorway and you stood outside of it. Your arms were getting goosebumps from the unusually cold air and Alhaitham took notice.

“Come in while you wait.” Alhaitham stepped to the side and closed the door behind you when you entered.

You awkwardly thanked him and sat down on the couch, him sitting on the one across from you.

…

“So…” You murmured.

“Hm?” Alhaitham glanced up.

“How has the position of Acting Grand Sage been treating you?”

“I intend to resign as soon as possible.” He stated.

“Oh! Um…” You didn’t know what to say, such an odd response that you probably would never get from anyone but Alhaitham.

(it hurt to remember that you really do know this man, and at the same time you know nothing about him anymore either)

“I heard you’re teaching art classes now,” Alhaitham said, “How has that been?”

“It’s great! I love my students, really, they’re all so creative. They’re like little sponges, too, they soak up anything I tell them.” You giggled, and Alhaitham's lips twitched up.

“Y/n, I-”

“I’m ready now!” Kaveh chirped, walking out of his room, “Aplogies, I had some hair troubles.”

“Ah, no problem!” You stood from your spot, “Let’s head out then.”

You glanced at Alhaitham, and he met your eyes for a moment.

“Um, see you, Alhaitham.”

“See you.”

✧ TWO ROOMMATES DISPUTE

“I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.” Kaveh sighed.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Alhaitham flipped the page in his book.

“Don’t give me that.” Kaveh glared at Alhaitham, “You know very well what I mean. I know we have our disagreements but ever since Y/n has been around more you’ve been-”

Alhaitham abruptly closed his book with a loud clap.

“I am not concerned with Y/n.”

“Oh really? Because you seem to be.”

“What of it.” Alhaitham glared.

“You act as if it's wrong for me to be friends with her just because you used to be friends,” Kaveh spoke irritatedly, “Like it or not me and Y/n are close friends.”

“What would you know about our friendship?” Alhaitham crossed his arms.

“I know what she tells me, that’s what.” Kaveh huffed, “Just because you ruined your own relationship with her does not mean that I have to end mine because you’re jealous.”

Alhaitham was silent.

“You have made no attempt to reconcile or get to know her and that is not my fault. I cannot argue with you over something so stupid!” Kaveh was nearly yelling about this.

He was sick of Alhaitham being cold to him after he hung out with you or when you were around, Kaveh could see the jealousy brewing in Alhaitham’s eyes and he was not going to stand for being glared at over it. Alhaitham’s inability to fix things with you was not Kaveh’s problem. Just because now you were more appealing of a person doesn't mean he gets to act like some overprotective, jealous boyfriend.

For Alhaitham, he was torn. His emotions toward you were all over the place, did he like you? Did he find you irritating? Did he more-than-like you? How does he get these feelings in order, and then how does he get his attitude toward Kaveh in order too? Alhaitham isn’t oblivious to the fact he’s been colder than usual to his roommate, or even outright passive-aggressive, but facing the reason behind it is harder than it seems.

Maybe Kaveh is right. He has to talk to you.

✧ END OF TWO ROOMMATES DISPUTE

You stared blankly at Kaveh.

“What?”

“Alhaitham and I got in a fight about you…” Kaveh explained.

“About me?” You frowned, “What? Why would you two ever do such a thing?”

“Other than the fact he’s a complete jerk,” Kaveh sighed, “I think he has some issues regarding you.”

“Oh, so he just hates me so much that he can’t stand me being around then?” You roll your eyes, “We’re adults now, why can’t he just get over it?”

(but your heart ached at the thought that he truly cant stand you, even now)

“I don't think its hatred, Y/n.” Kaveh sighed, “I think it’s rather the opposite, and I don’t think he knows how to handle it.”

“So, what, he likes me? And that’s why he’s being a dick every time I’m around?” You snorted, “Classy.”

“Yeah,” Kaved rubbed the bridge of his nose, “You know what, forget about Alhaitham. I’d like you to come over for my birthday celebration.”

A warm smile wiggled up your face.

“Of course.”

You were twenty-five when you attended Kaveh’s birthday party.

You brought him a gift all wrapped up—and a bottle of wine, as if there wasn’t going to be enough alcohol already—and hugged him tightly at the door. You were positively beaming, smile stretched from ear to ear.

“Happy birthday!” You cheered.

“Thank you, thank you.” Kaveh laughed, pulling you in and pressing a friendly kiss to your temple, “I’m so happy to have you here.”

“I’m honored to be here.”

You cracked into the alcohol with a jolly smile on your face and downed glass after glass until you were just tipsy enough to not have a filter but not drunk enough to fall over. This is where you’d stop for the night, where you were content staying and giggly. You celebrated Kaveh with all of the other attendees.

But the air was becoming suffocating and there were a few too many people near you right now, maybe you needed some fresh air or maybe you needed to go home but you were only willing to do one of those (and it was not the latter). You stepped out of the party quietly.

And Alhaitham was there.

You were there, and Alhaitham was there, and the night sky above you was the same as it was when you were thirteen and sneaking out of your room to see him.

“Alhaitham…” Perhaps there was a bit of bittersweet longing in your voice, perhaps it was just the waver of the alcohol.

“Y/n.” But the emotion in Alhaitham’s voice could not be mistaken for anything but what it was: emotion.

“How are you?” You asked quietly.

“I’m fine.”

“Just fine?” You let a smile play at your lips, and one tugged at Alhaitham’s too.

“I can’t sleep.” He whispered, “You know how that is.”

(and for a moment you were thirteen again and knocking on Alhaitham’s window)

“I do.” Waves of emotion ran over you, was it grief? Longing? Love?

If there was one thing you could say confidently, it was that unrequited love lasts the longest. The crush that never gets returned and ends up lasting for years. You knew this firsthand. You felt this kind of affection for Alhaitham from the age of, what, eleven? Twelve maybe? And now at twenty-five, you felt like the lovesick teenage girl you were ten years ago because that affection never left you and you wondered if you could make it leave.

“I’ve missed you.” You wanted to slap yourself for saying that, but in your tipsy state, the words forming in your brain were coming out of your mouth faster than you could shut it.

“Oh?” Alhaitham smiled teasingly, “How much?”

You furrowed your brows, “Oh, come on, Alhaitham. You can’t act like that after everything.”

“...” Alhaitham glanced away, “You’re right.”

“I really loved you, you know. And- And the way you treated me was hurtful. I was just a kid, you were cruel.”

“I know.” Alhaitham swallowed hard, his voice coarse, “You loved me?”

“Yeah like it wasn’t obvious?” You snorted, “Of course I did, you were my childhood best friend, the neighbor boy, I looked up to you.”

…

“Well say something.” You frowned.

“What do you want me to say?” He turned to you.

“I want you to be honest.”

Say sorry, say you loved me too, say something.

“I did not love you.”

You cringed, heartbreak trickling over your skin like acid rain- no, stinging you like a thousand needles.

“I didn’t.”

You felt your entire inner body cave in on itself as your heart cried because yes, Al Haitham has always been matter of fact as long as you have known him, but damn if it didn't hurt. You knew there was little chance of him returning those feelings, the unrequited ones you’d held onto for so long. Still, hearing him reject you over and over was like the final nail in the coffin, the coffin you laid in alive and well and clawed at to get out of.

“You were irritating, a bit airheaded, and you always distracted me no matter what I was doing.” Al Haitham continued, “So I didn't love you, I hardly tolerated you.”

You felt your face betray you, twisting into something hurt and honest as warm tears slid down your cheeks and your chest shook with rapid sniffles.

“But now… You’re brilliant, you’re witty and kind, and despite everything you’re here. So no, I did not love you, but now I do.”

“You’re such a dick.” You sobbed.

“I just told you I love you, that’s not exactly the best way to respond.” Alhaitham spoke as if he was amused, but the way his hand found your back and rubbed circles into it told you he doesn't want you to cry.

“But you said all that mean stuff,” You wiped your tears, “That was cruel.”

“Well that’s how I used to feel, you wanted to know how I used to feel, didn’t you?” He wiped your hair from your face and tucked it behind your ears.

“I can’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry,” Alhaitham muttered, turning you to face him. “You’re beautiful.”

“You’re a jerk.” You frowned, and he laughed airily and it sounded like music to your ears.

“Y/n, I love you. I mean it.” He rubbed your cheek gently, “If you’ll allow it, I’d like to get to know you much better than I’ve ever known you before.”

“Maybe.” You whispered, staring into his eyes.

“I promise you I’ll never hurt you again.” He murmured, placing a kiss on your hairline.

(and maybe it was a coincidence, but he wiped the spot that Kaveh kissed and you giggled at the thought that he was jealous)

✧ navigation.

#opticfile ✧༺࿐#genshin #genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham gi #alhaitham genshin #kaveh #kaveh gi #kaveh genshin #gi x reader #genshin x you #genshin angst #i hope its not a big fat disappointment guys

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duckymcdoorknob · 1 year

Note

GONNA PUT THESE IN BEFORE I GO TO THE DENTIST

There has been numerous occasions that Alhaitham literally (bluntly) teases Kaveh with the feather he usually has in his hair.

SENSITIVE👏AF👏HIPS👏

Man is SCREECHING over a small squeeze, and it's oh so close to a seagulls cry too lmfao

THIS IS ALL I CAN DO FOR NOW, ILY MUAH MUAH 💖

I’m totally fucking writing a fic off of this brb-

Bear with me, I’ve only met the roomies through their voice lines and the new event

Tickles below the cut in this household

“You’re lucky that I’m too young and pretty to go to prison.” The architect growled as he turned his back to his roommate for the nth time.

For some reason, that Kaveh could not seem to wrap his mind around, Al Haitham had been testing his last nerve all day.

“And yet you’re still older than me.” The scribe deadpanned, plucking the inky paintbrush out of the blonde’s hand.

“Hah! You didn’t deny that I was- wha- hey! Give that back” Kaveh whined, standing up and knocking his chair over.

Al Haitham held the utensil above his head, his expression not changing. “How precious… poor thing can’t keep his mind in order.”

“Will you just- Ugh!” Kaveh jumped and retrieved his paintbrush, glaring at the scribe. He scoffed and sat back down, unrolling the blueprint he was priorly working on.

Al Haitham waited for the architect to return to his work, then carefully removed the feather from the blonde head of hair in front of him.

Unbeknownst to Kaveh, his annoying roommate had gotten hold of something that was going to quickly ruin his plans. All seemed fine, and his focus was back in order, until he felt a foreign feeling brush along his left ear.

A squeak left his mouth as he recoiled and whipped his head around. “AL HAITHAM!” He roared, standing up from his chair once more. “Give me my feather back!”

As he had done earlier, the gray-haired male held the feather above his head, this time sporting a smug grin.

“Do you want my attention or something? You’ve got it right here!” The architect replied, using his roommate’s shoulder for balance and scaling him like a mountain.

The gray-haired male exhaled in amusement as he easily wrapped an arm around the older’s waist, and pulled him close to his face. “You’re so in love with me, it’s painful.”

“Y-You-!” Kaveh stuttered as his face flushed red. “J-Just give me my damn- hYAH!”

Both stopped dead in their tracks, the blonde’s face growing even an deeper shade of cherry red.

“Kaveh are you-” The scribe retracted his hand from his roommate’s waist immediately

“S-Shut up, just-“

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just messing around with you.”

Kaveh had never seen his roommate look so guilty in his life. He instantly went on the offense to help Al Haitham feel better. “No, no, I swear you didn’t hurt me. I’m sorry to make you worry. I’m just a bit sensitive around the area near my waist.”

A glint of malice shone like a star in the gray-haired male’s eyes. “Sensitive? What do you mean, Kaveh?”

Al Haitham was closing in fast, and Kaveh felt his embarrassment returning. “N-Nothing. Forget I had said anyt-hihihing. Wahahahait! Ahahahal Hahahaithahaham!” The architect whined.

“Aren’t you just so precious?” Al Haitham teased as his hands squeezed at the blonde’s sides in a calculated tempo.

“Dohohohont tehehease mehehehe!” The architect cried as he pushed against his roommate’s face.

Naturally, Al Haitham is built like a brick shithouse, so Kaveh didn’t do anything besides give the gray-haired male the upper hand. The scribe wasted no time grabbing both of the blonde’s wrists and holding them in one hand.

“Yohohohourehehe suhuhuhuch ahaha bahahastahahard! NGH-“ Kaveh squeezed his eyes shut as his nose scrunched; Al Haitham had just struck gold. “WAITWAITWAHAHAHAIT!”

“Wait for what? An invitation?” Al Haitham quipped in his usual monotone, drilling his right thumb into the architect’s left hip. “Seems like I found a sensitive spot, eh, roomie?”

“PLEHEHEHEHEASE!” Kaveh twisted in vain as he pushed his body against his “assailant”

“Please what?”

“BEHEHE CAHAHAREHEFUHUHUL!”

“Oh? Be careful? You aren’t begging me to stop? How cute…”

“STAHAHAP TEHEHEASIHIHING MEHEHE!”

“But why? Would you rather me focus on tickling you better instead?” With this comment, the gray-haired male released his roommate’s wrists and used both hands to knead circles into Kaveh’s hips.

The blonde squealed incoherently.

The scribe couldn’t help the slight smile that toyed at the edges of his lips. Kaveh was, in all reality, quite lovely when he was letting go and giggling freely.

Truth be told, Al Haitham could listen to the melodious sound all night, but he didn’t want to ruin the fun and turn the sweet action into something torturous. So, as soon as Kaveh started to reach his limit…

“OHOHOKAHAHAY! IHIHIHI GIHIHIVEHE! PLEHEHEHEHEASE! IHIHIM AHAHALL DOHOHONEHE! STAHAHAP!”

The second he heard “stop”, Al Haitham did so. Upon first look at his roommate’s goofy grin and flushed face, the gray-haired male’s stoic facade dropped for a moment. Replacing the ever-present scowl was a pleasant smile of amusement.

“Well,” Kaveh blustered. “I’m glad someone had fun, because I-“

“Don’t you lie to me. You only asked me to stop one time.” Al Haitham shot his roommate a wink, and I return received the gift of the most adorable a look of pure embarrassment.

With a whine, the blonde flopped down onto the couch in their living room. “You suck.”

The scribe exhaled fondly and knelt next to the couch. “Oh don’t be such a baby, it’s okay to enjoy things that make you laugh.” He rested his hand on the architect’s back. “I for one think that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Kaveh went still as he slowly turned his head to look at his roommate. “Y-You don’t think it’s-“

“Not in the least.” Al Haitham didn’t even give the blonde a chance to finish his hidden self-deprecating sentence. “If it makes you laugh, and makes you forget your troubles, then I’ll be happy to oblige in your request any time you need a pick-me-up.”

Kaveh huffed as he hid his head in the couch once more. “Can you do it again?”

Al Haitham smiled as he brought his hands back in position over the architect’s sides.

‘Cute’ he thought. The silence of his mind was interrupted by the precious giggles of the man he most definitely, absolutely, positively, no-way no how, did NOT have a crush on.

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

#Genshin #Genshin impact #Kaveh #Kaveh Genshin #gi #Genshin Kaveh #gi kaveh #alhaitham #Alhaitham Genshin #alhaitham gi #Kaveh gi #Genshin alhaitham #gi alhaitham #genshin tickle #genshin tickling #genshin impact tickle #genshin impact tickling #t content #babygirl kaveh

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