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#Joseph stern X barclay
modistress · 2 years
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Saw this merch and knew what I had to do.
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prim-moth · 2 years
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Love is Love, Babey
ID: digital art of the adventure zone amnesty characters. Top left are Minerva & Duck, the former is laughing & the latter is looking adoringly at her. Minerva has dark brown skin, bald head with blue stripes on her forehead to he neck, around both eyes & a long stipe goes down from the eyes to the chin. Duck has tan skin, choppy dark hair, stubble & freckles. They’re both wearing ranger outfits and ranger hats. Top right are Agent Stern & Barclay, stern is grinning at him with a blush and holding a cup while barclay is looking away shyly. Stern has light tan skin & dark short hair with glasses, wears a grey shirt. Barclay has medium brown, long dark brown hair with a half tied knot, full beard, wears a red flannel & glasses. Bottom left ar Dani & Aubrey, both are embracing each other and smiling. Dani has light skin, pointy ear, blonde shaved mullet hair, wears a light purple jacket over a white shirt, earrings & a choker. Aubrey has medium brown skin, short curly dyed red hair with a half-shaved head, multiple piercings on the brows, nose, ears and lips. She wears fingerless gloves, a thick collar necklace, the emblem necklace & a denim jacket with a bisexual & a ghost pin. Bottom right is a small Ned, he has one thumbs up and another on his hip. A speech bubble next to him says “I see no difference. Love is love.” Ned has light skin, blond medium hair and beard, wears a blue flannel over a dark shirt & camera around his neck. The background is light pink with stripes. End ID.
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gay-spaceman · 5 years
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tfw you spend your life trying to find big foot then you get married to him
(id under read more)
[id: the series of three images of joseph stern at different ages. agent stern is a light skinned man with brown hair and a strong facial structure. he has a birthmark under his left eye.
image one has stern as a nine year old, showing off a drawing of him and big foot and saying “Mom! look at my drawing!” he has a red shirt and tooth gap. beside him is sixteen year old stern with long hair in a ponytail tucked into a black beanie. he is wearing a grey hoodie with a red shirt unerneath. he is saying “i’m going to find Big Foot, even if it kills me.”
image two is stern at age 30, he is wearing a black suit with a green tie and his hair is slicked back. someone off screen is asking him “why did you join the fbi?” to which stern replies “i’m getting paid to dress nicely and hunt cryptids.” next to that, there is stern at 46. he looks deshelved and huddled over a laptop with the lable “ned’s video” and he says “it’s beautiful.” the next image is him looking ahead saying “i’ve looked at this for five hours now.”
image three is stern and barclay. stern has his arms wrapped around barclay’s shoulder and has head leaned on his head. barclay is a fat with brown skin and dark brown hair and beard. he is wearing plaid with drown suspenders. he has a hand placed on stern’s arm. they have hearts all around them
end id]
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mthevlamister · 4 years
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I want to see Barclay turn into Bigfoot, and when Stern walks into the kitchen, Barclay goes “I’m a furry that’s why I’m wearing this suit haha” as a last minute attempt and Stern has to accept his boyfriend’s weird habit even though he’s not a fan.
Barclay has to deal with everyone including Mama making fun of him for a month before he loses it.
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jayblue-rebloob · 5 years
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Stern and Barclay, before they get together, hanging out, watching X files:
Barclay: Man, mulder is my exact type.
Stern: *chokes on his coffee*
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absolxguardian · 5 years
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Agent Stern, trying to make it up to his boyfriend for betraying him: Let me help you carry that crate
Barclay, picking it up with one hand: we’ll talk about this later okay
Agent Stern, in his head: Oh shit oh right my sorta boyfriend is bigfoot. That’s like a normal thing to have. I’ve banged bigfoot. Holy shit.
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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years
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For mermay, could you do 11 for sternclay? sfw please :) I love your prompt fills!
Thank you so much! Here you go. The prompt was “royalty” and I based Barclay on a basking shark and Joseph on a mimic octopus.
For the last two weeks, Joseph has been hearing what a difficult assignment he’s taken, and how most bodyguards wouldn’t take it even with the handsome pay. That the princes of Sylvain are impossible to guard, that they’ve gone through more security staff than sharks go through teeth (this part he knows to be true from the records he’s found). 
Two days in, he’s starting to wonder if there’s been some sort of mistake. 
Now, had he received Duck’s assignment, he’d understand the warnings. Prince Indrid, seer to the court of Sylvain, has already shown himself to be a strange mixture of aloof, demanding, and spoiled.
But Prince Barclay?
When Joseph was shown into his chambers and introduced, the instant the servants left Barclay swam over to him with a nervous smile. He asked if there was anything he could get him, was he hungry, would he like something to drink? Joseph accepted that last offer, curious to see how the prince would react if called upon to perform hospitality rather than simply offer it. 
What happened was Barclay swam into an anteroom and came back with a carved coral platter with mother of pearl pitcher and goblets, pouring Joseph’s first before taking a glass for himself. 
That set the tone for his behavior, and it hasn’t changed in the week since he’s arrived. The prince, charcoal tailed and a little shy, seems to view Joseph as just another mer to talk to. When in the castle, Barclay will ask him his thoughts on the historical and political scrolls his tutors assign him as part of his preparation to one day inherit the kingdom. Out in public, Joseph shifts into the background, watches everything with care while the prince swims behind his parents or, more often, their advisors. 
“Do you think there was some kind of misunderstanding with his previous guard?” Joseph asks Duck over a late night dinner in the hall, which allows them to keep their eyes on their charges rooms. 
“I mean, he seems like a nice enough fella to me. But nice fellas can still be sneaky; from what Ned told me, Barclay’s an escape artist. Think he might be lurin you into a false sense of security.”
“And I think trusting what Ned Chicane tells you is a terrible way to gather intel.”
Movement from Indrid’s room and Duck stiffens, listening, then relaxes.
“Shouldn’t you go check on that?”
“Nah, he’s just pacin, does that a lot, especially at night.”
“He really should get some sleep.”
Duck shrugs, “He should. But treatin him like a child is the wrong way to go. He knows he oughta rest, my remindin him will just annoy him. Besides,” Duck raises an eyebrow, “maybe you better be more focused on your prince.”
“He turned in an hour ago.”
“You sure?”
Something in Duck’s voice sends worry bubbling through his guts, “I’ll check now, just to be positive.”
The bed is empty, the prince nowhere to be found. 
“Shit!” He darts back into the dim hallway, “he’s gone, I’ve got to find him and fast. How, how in name of the deep did you know?”
“Call it a hunch. Indrid likes to play the ‘I know somethin you don’t’ game, but if I let ‘im play it long enough, he let’s somethin important slip out.”
“Shit” Joseph says again, “I, if anyone asks-” 
“I’ll say I ain’t seen you or Barclay since dinner. Ain’t a lie.” Duck winks and Joseph flashes him a quick smile before swimming back into the prince’s rooms. There’s only one door and no secret passageways, (he checked for those himself), so the windows it is. His tentacles can sense Barclay’s trail, faint but unmistakable, and he follows it until he’s almost at the shore. Then it’s gone. 
He spends the next three hours feverishly tracing and retracing his path and keeping his panic to a minimum. When he spies a figure swimming towards him, he backs against a rock, planning to hide until they pass. 
This plan changes the instant he registers who it is. 
“Gaahfuck” Barclay catches his yell quickly and muffles it down to a hiss, “what the hell Joseph, you scared me.”
“And you just made me spend three hours swimming around and wondering if my charge had been abducted. I’d say that makes us even.”
“Didn’t make you do anything.” Barclay grumbles as Joseph turns them towards the palace. 
He sighs, “No, I guess technically you didn’t. But I take my job very, very seriously. If this past week hasn’t demonstrated that sufficiently, maybe tonight has. When you disappear into the night, it’s my duty to follow.” He catches brown eyes studying him warily and adds, “I’m not doing it to be punitive or steal your freedom, or even because their majesties told me to; I’m doing it because you’re under my protection.”
The prince nods but says nothing else until they return to his rooms. 
“Joseph? I’m uh, I’m sorry. For scaring you. You got farther than anyone else did, none of them ever tracked me that well, if they noticed I was gone at all. I figured you wouldn’t notice, so you wouldn’t worry. So, yeah. I’m sorry.” 
Joseph knows a false apology when he hears it, and this is as far from one as a desert is from the deep sea. 
“Apology accepted, my prince. But Barclay” he levels the other mer with a stern gaze, tries not to notice his cheeks tinging pink the longer he holds it, “don’t do it again.”
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“Are you certain we cannot trade?” Indrid’s fin ripples with agitation as he draws. 
“Nope, Joseph is a good bodyguard.”
“And your crush on him is not governing your answer in the slightest?” Indrid smirks but doesn’t look up. 
“No idea what you’re talking about. Besides, Duck seems nice.” Barclay stretches his other arm, then pauses, “wait, fuck, is he hurting you or something?”
“No. On the contrary, he is annoyingly concerned with my wellbeing.”
“That’s his job.”
“It was the job of all his predecessors as well, but all it took was ordering them around or demanding things in the right tone before they were letting me do as I pleased. I wanted to go to that bar on the edge of town last night and do you know what he did? He told me no, because word had gotten around that it was a spot I frequented and someone there might try to take me hostage.”
“...And?”
“And, and then when I tried to leave anyway he blocked the door with that blasted muscular tail and obnoxiously charming face and wouldn’t move! Then he told me he would if I looked at the future told him we’d both be safe if we went. It turns out he was right, the chances of violence were high.”
“I mean, you don’t like places that loud anyway-”
“It’s the principle of the thing.” Indrid sighs, “so we stayed in and I made him read to me as penance but he was very good at it and I fell asleep within a half hour.”
Barclay is trying hard not to laugh, only because he knows how hard it is for his brother to admit such things. And because, given what else he knows of Duck, the mer might be exactly what his brother needs. If nothing else, Barclay hopes Duck might be observant enough to notice what’s there, not just what his brother tries to toss up like so much sand in hopes of obscuring the truth. 
Indrid goes back to his drawings. Barclay can remember the first time their ministers caught Indrid capturing the futures this way and scolded him, saying the futures to look at were only those the court asked him to, nothing else. Indrid had explained, in a number of different ways, that this was how he could keep the images from overwhelming him, but still they insisted he stop. It wasn’t until he drew on his status and threw a near fit that they relented. That was a lesson he never forgot. 
Barclay hopes todays lessons will be more enjoyable. One of the jobs of a royal bodyguard is to train the princes in self-defense. When Joseph and Duck enter the gym through kelp curtains, Barclay can’t help but be mesmerized by the poise with which his tentacles move across the ground. 
“Good morning, your highness. And to you as well, your highness.” Joseph bows to them each in turn, “Barclay, today you and I will be working with swords while Duck and Prince Indrid work on hand to hand combat.”
“What?” Indrid looks up, red eyes wide, “Barclay is the one who trains hand to hand, not me.”
“Which is exactly why we gotta mix things up. You need all the modes of defense you can get. Unless of course you’re, uh, afraid you can’t take me.” Duck raises an eyebrow at Indrid. 
His brother says nothing, simply grabs his bodyguard and pulls him towards the designated room, calling, “I’ll see you after lunch!”
He and Joseph trade an amused look, then swim to the shelf of blunted training weapons. They’re still bone or sharks tooth, but they’ve been sanded down so no one can get hurt. 
“Now, you mentioned you’ve done some sword work, so am I right that you know how to hold this safely?”
“Yep.” Barclay takes the sword, swimming over to one of the Xs on the floor. 
“Good. To keep things fair for now, I won’t use my tentacles for anything other than swimming.” Joseph takes his position on the opposite X and lifts his sword, “ready?”
Barclay nods and then immediately parries as Joseph lunges with a burst of speed. He recovers quickly, and they begin an elegant back and forth, bubbles and stray sand swirling through the air as they spin and dodge around one another. Joseph keeps up a steady stream of commentary, either positive or instructive, and Barclay is having a hard time ignoring the the thrill he gets every time Joseph pulls off a graceful maneuver. 
When they break, both a little winded, there’s a crash from the next room. 
“Fuck! You okay, your highness?” Duck sounds concerned. 
“Yes, now try that again, I am going to get this right.” 
Joseph glances at him, “Should we-”
“Nah. He kinda sounds like he’s enjoying himself.”
The other mer studies him, “Are you?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Then I’m going to ask you to stop holding back. I can’t train you effectively if I don’t know what your skill level actually is.”
He’s learned not to insist Joseph is mis-observing things when he’s actually observing them perfectly; the other mer is too sharp for that. 
“I...I just don’t want to hurt you.”
Joseph swims close, sets a hand on his shoulder, “For starters, these are fake swords, and I’m not a bad fighter. But more than that, I suspect there’s a very impressive swordsman under those scales.”
They take their positions and when Joseph gives the signal Barclay attacks with all the force his tail can muster. Joseph dodges easily but makes an approving noise. Then he grins, the expression downright rakish, and attacks with such precision and speed that Barclay barely manages to counter him. 
His focus narrows down to the fight, to watching Joseph’s body for every sign of movement, every twitch of muscle and tentacle. Finally, he sees his opening and drives the other mer backwards until he’s trapped, back to the rocky grey wall. 
“Well” Barclay pants, images of finishing the fight with a kiss banging about his mind, “what do you think of that, Joseph?”
Two tentacles rise, plucking both swords from their fighters hands as his bodyguard murmurs, “I’m impressed.”
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It’s been a month and a half since Barclay slipped out of his room, and while he’s tried twice more, Joseph has been ready each time. Tonight, however, he’s opting for a new strategy.
He bids the prince goodnight, well aware he’ll swim out the window around moonrise. Then he waits just across from the window, skin and tentacles camouflaged with the rocks. Right on time, Barclay emerges, swimming quickly and quietly towards the shore. Joseph follows at a safe distance, forces himself to focus on the prince’s likely path rather than on how handsome he looks in the moonlight. 
When they reach the shallows Barclay pauses, slips a woven bracelet onto his wrist, and kicks towards the surface. 
Who in the name of the wide ocean gave him legs?
Joseph’s physiology allows him to crawl across the tidepools, keeping his eyes on Barclay as the prince retrieves a set of clothes hidden behind a rock and walks into the small town of Kepler, turning towards a restaurant on the pier. 
Someone had to enchant that bracelet for him, has to know where he’s going while using it. And that someone has to be a mer he trusts. 
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“Yes. I made him the bracelet. What of it?” Indrid says coolly. 
“Indrid, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?” Joseph throws his arms and several tentacles in the air. 
“Hold up” Duck turns to his prince, “Indrid, I’m guessin Barclay probably asked for a reason, right?”
“Indeed, but if I say what it was, you will reveal it to our parents and ministers and take it away from him.”
“I won’t. I promise. I, I just want to help.”
Indrid narrows his eyes. Then, remarkably, he turns to Duck and cocks his head. Duck nods. 
“Very well. And yes, I will grant you that favor you’re about to ask for…”
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How do humans manage with these things? His tentacles tell him so much more than these useless feet do. 
Joseph makes his wobbly way into Kepler, following Barclay’s trail down the pier, the one he’s walked the last two weeks while Joseph intermittently clung to the nearby wooden supports or fencing to make sure his prince wasn’t in danger. 
Even with Indrid’s explanation, the room he enters is a surprise. Several counters with what he knows humans call “stoves” sitting on them, each manned by one or two people. 
“Hello there” An affable older man in a multi-colored shirt approaches him, “you here for the class?”
“Yes.”
“Great! Hmmm, since you’re new, better pair you with someone, just to be safe. Follow me.”
Joseph isn’t afraid of much. But when he sees who the man intends to pair him with, he almost jumps out the window and flees back to the sea.
“You’re in luck, gonna pair you with my best student. Barclay, this is…”
“Joseph”
“Joseph’s first class with us, so I’m handin him over to you. Make me proud.”
Barclay isn’t blinking, but he manages to say, “sure thing, Thacker.” 
The older man nods, pleased, and makes his way towards the kitchen set-up at the front of the room, greeting people as he goes. 
“What the fuck, Joseph?” Barclay keeps his voice low, “did Janelle give you legs just so you could come drag me out of class?”
“No, no not at all. Indrid did this.”
“What?”
Joseph takes a deep breath, “Barclay, I told you that first week that I’m here to protect you. The way I see it, I’ll do a much better job if I come with you to something that clearly matters to you, rather than force you to hide it from me. No one knows about this but Indrid and Duck.”
Barclay seems stunned, doesn’t say anything as Thacker opens the class and instructs them on how to make something called “marinara” to go on “pasta.” The prince stays silent until they’re working on the cookies the human is also having them make.
“Here, it’s easier to cut them out like this.” He sets his hand atop Joseph’s, pressing and shaking it so the dough comes away from the stone slab in the shape of a heart. 
“Thank you.”
Barclay smiles at him, and the kitchen grows hotter. 
When everything is done cooking, they sit on stools at their station, eating the fruits of their labor. Barclay is animatedly describing the pie they made last week, occasionally stopping to chat with some of the other students. He looks so happy, and Joseph decides he will not tell their majesties about this even if they torture him. Or fire him. 
As they walk back along the beach, Barclay explaining all the things he’s learned about cooking and how much he wishes they’d let him cook at the palace rather than insist it’s beneath his station, the prince takes his hand.
“Humans do this when they’re waling on the beach together. I think it’s to keep them from getting separated if they get hit by a wave.
Joseph is pretty sure that’s not the reason, but he’s not about to say so now. 
They dive back under the waves, removing their charms and swimming side by side in the dark water. Once they’re safely inside, Barclay turns to him, beaming, “Thank you so much for coming.”
“Even if I wasn’t invited?”
“Yeah. It, uh, it means a lot to me that you wanna learn about the stuff that matters to me. That you wanna know the real me.”
“Of course I do.”
Barclay swims dangerously close, “You, uh, do you wanna know another part?”
He nods. Barclay leans in and presses their lips together. Joseph manages to keep his hands himself, but his tentacles have other ideas, curling protectively around the prince’s tail and waist. The instant Barclay pulls back with the most adorable sigh in the sea, Joseph forces them to return to their normal position. 
The prince gives him a final, shy smile and whispers, “‘Night, Joseph. And thanks for everything.”
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arofili · 4 years
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[image description: a 3x3 moodboard. 1: red flannel. 2: “warning: bigfoot area. stay on marked trails.” 3: sketch of bigfoot captioned “please try to forget that you saw me” 4: white flower against a red wall. 5: deer skeleton. 6: “top secret” typed on a typewriter. 7: red neon sign reading “blow a kiss, fire a gun” 8: trees in a forest. 9: book titled “ghosts and hauntings” end image description.]
moodboards ♡ agent joseph stern x barclay (the bigfoot)
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mikeydoodledandy · 5 years
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Thinkin' About Sternclay Headcanons
I've been having a lot of fun thinking over all my favorite little things I headcanon about Joseph and Barclay, so I thought I'd share.
Joseph Stern
Is Jewish. He grew up in a Jewish Orthodox home, but doesn't particularly agree with a lot of the traditionalist teachings and identifies more with Reform Judaism, but isn't heavily practicing.
Is nearsighted. He wears contacts most of the time, but wears his glasses in the evening after he showers, or when he can't be bothered.
Bites his lip when he's trying to decide if he wants to say something. This tick usually only pops up in emotional and personal situations, he's pretty good at schooling it for his work.
He pulls his feet up into chairs when he gets comfortable enough.
He has a massive sweet tooth and doesn't even try to hide it. It's not an unusual sight at the Lodge to see him just dumping a shitton of sugar into his tea and coffee.
He struggles with opening up about himself. Between his upbringing and his work at the FBI, he feels like he has to suppress his feelings sometimes. Under it all he's a goof and a hopeless romantic and he's found solace in working for the unexplained phenomenon division of the FBI because it's the first time he's gotten to just live for what he loves.
His ears are pierced from back when he was in college and a young gay man on the club scene, but he doesn't wear anything in them anymore. He totally partied his brains out in college because it was the first time he got to explore and be himself.
He's from Ohio.
He's a huge X-Files fan and still can't believe he's living the dream. He has a sister and she mercilessly (but lovingly) teases him about it, and totally sends him cryptid stuff when she can.
Barclay
Is a trans guy. I will live and die by me Trans Barclay headcanon, don't test me.
He lives and breaths plaid shirts. The Amnesty crew has considered staging an intervention on multiple occasions.
Even though Sylphs don't need to eat, he learned and loves to cook because it tastes good and if pleasure is the only thing he's gonna get out of it, you can bet he's gonna do it the best he can.
Dad friend.
Has no interest in returning to Sylvain. I like to think he even left willingly, though perhaps when he was young and stupid and went to Earth without actually considering the consequences. Despite the hardships he's experienced, he loves Earth and after the finale would likely only return to visit Sylvain (likely with Joseph in tow), but never to stay.
He picked up the guitar at some point on his travels, but didn't stick with it. After the finale and the threat of the Quell is gone, he picks it back up again.
He loves hiking and camping.
Usually pretty soft spoken, but can be super loud when he needs to be.
Manbun.
Together
Joseph is tall, but Barclay is taller
Joseph makes a lot of eye contact and Barclay usually doesn't, but man if he doesn't get lost in Stern's eyes a lot.
They were both immediately attracted to each other on a physical level, but fell in love because they're both just absolutely giant dorks.
Joseph would never admit it out loud in company, but Barclay being Bigfoot is absolutely not a hardship, and he finds his Slyph form just as attractive, and maybe thinks a little too hard about being between the sheets while Barclay has his bracelet off.
Barclay helps Joseph a lot with opening up and being himself. He's so used to being laughed at for his job or otherwise having to hide himself, but Barclay helps him let go of that (and the fact that Barclay literally proves that his work isn't bullshit definitely helps)
Barclay's the big spoon
Barclay's love language is spending quality time with Stern and Stern's love language is romantic actions with Barclay (gifts, dates, making each other tea, tender touches, etc.) It took them a while to learn what the other liked, but they mesh really well now that they figured it out.
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modistress · 2 years
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How I imagine all of their interactions go
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modistress · 2 years
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Hot Coffee and Ruined Suits
Barclay X Joseph Stern: normal!AU
Summary:
Barclay, a young, aspiring chef, is struggling through his life in New York city, making ends meet barely, working at the busiest cafe in the world, and now he's spilled coffee all over some stuck up dude in a suit. Joseph Stern was already having a bad day, reports due, superiors barking in his ears, and he was sure that he was getting arthritis with how much he was sitting hunched over at his desk. The last thing he needs is for coffee to be spilled all over his new suit. In short, sternclay gets it on.
Rating: mad kinky spicy🌶
Heavily inspired by ThisWasInevitable’s fic Let Me Be Good To You so go and read it or perish. 
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modistress · 2 years
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Barclay Cannot Hold Normal Things In His Big Hands
He’s like Shaq
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Plus:
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modistress · 2 years
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Masterlist
Arcane
I Love Her as I Fall Asleep (jinx/reader)
Sleeping in the Bed She’s Made (jinx/reader)
I Will Learn to Love You (jinx/reader)
NSFW Alphabet (jinx/reader)
The Adventure Zone
Rainy Summers and Warm Winters (sternclay)
Barclay vs The Crippling Reality of His Situation (sternclay)
Hot Coffee and Ruined Suits (sternclay)
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modistress · 2 years
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Barclay vs The Crippling Reality of His Situation
Barclay x Joseph Stern
Summary: Barclay hasn’t been eating, sleeping, thinking, cooking, or doing anything that is relatively normal since Joseph Stern has decided to actively ignore him. He demands answers, and in more ways than one, he gets them.
Rating: Mild spice 🌶
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modistress · 2 years
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I- I- me when. Me. Me when I. When. When I open the computer. Me when-when I write. When I write sternclay.
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modistress · 2 years
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Rainy Summers and Warm Winters
Joseph Stern x Barclay
Summary: Joseph Stern and Barclay had been engaged for little over a year now. And they were safe within their relationship, yet… when a certain time of year comes around, Barclay always seems to disappear on a “camping trip.” Joseph, always the curious, is eager to investigate why.
Rating: MEGA sexy spicy 🌶
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