#Jingliu didn't teach Yanqing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

everlastiingiimmortals · 10 months

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There was this tag I read on AO3 a while back that said "Jing Yuan loves too equally and it causes problems" and it hasn't left my mind since.

Because he does love too equally.

He loved Dan Feng and Yingxing with all his heart, both of them. Loves them, I should say (depending on the interaction/dynamic), because he hasn't gotten over them.

He cherished Jingliu and her teachings like nothing else, even though they didn't grow close. I think that'll always be a deep regret of his. He misses her. He misses her a lot.

He adored and admired Baiheng and would ask her to be his wings. He sees her shadow in every newly fledged Foxian pilot that graduates from training in the Sky-Faring Commission.

Yanqing is his son, and I don't really need to say much more there. He worries for him. Worries far more than he lets on. He wants to give Yanqing the best life, help Yanqing reach his highest potential, and it's difficult because he's doing it entirely on his own and can't dedicate his entire being to Yanqing's growth. I don't think it's too bold to say that Yanqing entering his life was one of the best things to happen to him since his world fell apart.

He loves Yukong, too, as his friend and equal, for she reminded him so much of his younger self and of Baiheng as well when they first met, and he mourns with her and for her, as her lifespan is coming to an end within a few short decades and they both know it. Her eventual passing will leave a deep hole in his heart.

He loves Bailu the way a parent would; he sees parts of Dan Feng in her energy and chiding tone. She will never know how important she is to him.

And how does one stay in a position they do not enjoy for centuries upon centuries, if they do not love their people and their home with all their heart?

He could very well retire; Fu Xuan is right there and chomping at the bit to take up his mantle, but Jing Yuan stays right where he is as a pillar of the Luofu out of sheer love; the love he has for the Alliance, the love he has for the people, the love he has for his equals, his child, his friends, his mentor, his beloveds. He stays for them, even if it rips him apart. No matter how tired he is, he stays for them, because he can't bear to watch everything he loves, everything that holds his memories, fall apart if he's not there to guide it, legacy be damned.

Jing Yuan loves too equally, and it causes problems.

There's only so much of your heart you can give away until you have nothing left for yourself, after all.

#personal blogs dni #//immortal; (OOC)#//about; (DIVINE FORESIGHT)#((just some thoughts i had recently. jy makes me sad))#((brain: yknow that's probably how he succumbs to mara. just getting so tired and numb from caring too much and loving too hard #only to lose everything he's loved and built up and cherished))#((me: shut up. shut the fuck up. shut the fuck your mouth))

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