#Javi P 🤎
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you, my golden hour
Rancher!Javier Peña x Cowgirl!Reader
summary: 1997. as a fallen rodeo star, you can handle anything - except maybe your city’s hometown hero
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, Post Season 3 Javi works on his family’s ranch AU, unspecified age gap (only age mention is reader can drink and Javi is older), major pining & yearning, emotional hurt & comfort, light angst with tender fluff, reader has a backstory and family, no physical description of reader but gendered language is used and reader can ride a horse, use of pet/nicknames, mention/description of rodeo accident, themes of dealing with burnout, small texas town toxicity, light Spanish use, reader & javi having insecurities they bond/heal over, bar scene with alcohol consumption, spicy moments with allusions to smut, intense makeout where Javi gets handsy, soft!Javi, dreamy & protective!Javi
word count: 10.2k (I’m sorry)
a/n: the second installment of ‘let’s rodeo’ and my love letter to Javi & Texas, the heart of this series - this fic is near & dear to me and I just appreciate getting the chance to write this, so to @lowlights @ahauntedcowboy & @perotovar for giving me the courage to post this know I’m so grateful… and to you reading this thank you, so dearly appreciate you too ♡
You haven’t thought of Javier Peña in years.
Older than you, he was handsome and had a smile that rivaled the Texas Friday night lights. He eventually hooked up with the number one town sweetheart who was even rumored to have won a local state beauty contest.
By the time you heard of their engagement, you already had started your plans for the circuits, for the road. You didn’t mourn or even feel heartbroken over the news.
Even after that, the rodeo consumed you. It kept you in a tornado like whirl for years until that fateful day it spat you out.
When that ride stopped, Javier Peña came back into your mind with a strange fog-like entrance.
While still on bed rest, the news on the TV had been showing a small special on the War on Drugs and the lull of it filled the room.
Your grandmother was the one who brought him up.
“That’s what Chucho’s son is involved in.”
“Wait, Javier Peña’s into drugs?” You asked a bit confused even without the pain killers.
“No. He’s going after the people who sell drugs.” She clarified.
Oh.
“He also didn’t get married either. Do you remember?” She had added.
You did. You heard he left the little Miss Homecoming Queen at the altar. Quite a scandal that made him the talk of the town for a while.
Then he became a big shot drug enforcer who took down one of the largest drug cartels in history and he again became the talk of the town.
It’s been a few years since your accident and now Javier Peña is back home.
Now driving into the Peña ranch you feel both so young, yet so aged at the same time, like you’re stuck between two realities.
Your sister bounces out of the truck with uncontainable glee and you’re grateful she’s excited.
Chucho Peña comes to greet everyone. His classic cream cowboy hat and gentle smile are all a beautiful welcome. It’s also adorable seeing your grandpa reunite with his old friend.
Señor Peña’s kind eyes eventually land on you with a sweet twinkle.
“It’s good to see you, mija.”
You’ve always adored Chucho Peña.
His son on the other hand…
You never knew Javier enough to fully know him. Even with his dad and your grandpa being pals, the years between you and Javier didn’t help. He existed outside your orbit, a figure almost out of reach.
“And that son of yours!?” Your grandpa of course perks up asking about him.
“Ah sí Javi’s here, just out in the stables.” Chucho explains casually.
The last time you physically saw Javier Peña he was walking out of the bank. You’d been waiting in your family truck when he stepped out. By that point, a small bit of shadow was forming against his jaw and upper lip as his facial hair began to grow thick. He was a young man on the verge of stepping into the threshold of being grown.
Now before you he’s a fully grown man.
For a minute you think the man in the barn is someone else because it doesn’t seem like Javier.
Yet when he turns, you see his eyes.
Rich soil of the earth stunning eyes and you know it’s him.
His body has filled out and his shoulders even look broader. He sports a similar mustache like his father’s and it adds to his older appearance. There’s a weathered weariness on his face evident in the wrinkles carved out by his eyes and on his forehead.
The button up shirt he’s wearing allows a peek at his chest and his skin shines with sweat from the Texas sun already shining its warmth.
He’s breathtakingly stunning and you can’t take your eyes off him.
He warmly greets your grandpa with a wide smile that touches his eyes and brightens his face. He’s still that charming young man you saw, a brilliant comet out of your galaxy.
But then his gaze lands on you and his eyes narrow. A conflicting recognition and confusion swirl in his eyes. He knows you, seems to remember you, but not fully.
His dad clarifies your name and you deflate a bit. Then Javier’s eyes go wide and his eyebrows shoot into his hairline.
So, he does remember you.
“Oh, yeah. Good to see you.” He nods fully realizing who you are.
“Guess the horse must be for you then?” Javier adds and your heart sinks a bit.
A grimace tugs on your face but you try recovering quickly.
“No mijo,” Chucho thankfully answers quick and gentle. “I told you, it’s for her hermanita.”
You grin small and tight in agreement.
“Oh…yeah of course.” He nods.
Your little sister immediately jumps in bright and eager to share her excitement. Thankfully the focus effortlessly shifts to her and the reason why you’re all here.
The horse is beautiful, playful and eager for attention. This first meeting already feels good. Of course, everyone holds their breaths when your sister goes for the ride.
And it couldn’t have gone more smoothly.
You even exhale relieved.
“You seemed nervous.” A smooth warm voice comes out besides you.
As you lean against the ring’s fence you discover Javier Peña moving to rest beside you.
“Just like the first day of school kinda nerves. Want to make sure everything goes smoothly.” You answer as your sister effortlessly trots around the ring with ease.
“Yeah, I bet. They already seem to be clicking.” Javier notes genuine and you’re grateful too.
Your grandfather now calls out to you.
Both you and Javier turn towards where the older men stand close to each other like conspiring headaches.
“To celebrate, we’re having dinner here!” Your grandpa cheers happily and a dread drop kicks your heart.
Immediately you stammer out panicked about how you all can’t impose.
“No pasa nada, mija.” Senor Peña gently reassures you saying not to worry. “Besides, you’re all more than welcome here. It’s been a while since Javi and I had guests.”
You don’t miss the unashamed hum Javier makes.
“And grandma?” You reply, trying to reach for more excuses not to stay.
“She can walk.” Your sister teases suddenly and you give her a sharp look.
“Will you go pick her up, please?” Your grandpa gives you his best pleading face before simply throwing the truck keys to you
Stubborn old man.
“Hijo,” Señor Peña calls out again, but this time to his son. “You should go too.”
Shit.
“No Pop, it’s okay!” Javi politely declines and you want to second that.
“Aye,” His dad chides and then he pointedly gives Javier a look that screams - Don’t be rude, go with her.
Damn.
The walk to the truck is quiet, awkward as hell, feels like two parents shoving their kids together to play nice.
Heading into the main part of town, silence fills most of the drive. You're also mentally kicking yourself for not getting the radio fixed last week like you should’ve.
“So uh, your grandma…still volunteering at the women’s shelter?” Until Javier offers a small branch of conversation.
“Yup.” You nod.
“Oh good, that’s good.” He replies.
But silence returns.
“So, you taking a break from the rodeo then? Pop used to tell me about you all the time.” Javier comments light, casual.
You feel like a cat with its hairs standing up. But even with that sensation, knowing Señor Peña spoke so fondly of you does simmer the sting.
“Sort of.” You decide to rip this off like a bandaid, get it over with now. “Had a bad accident a while back. Still haven’t decided if I wanna return.”
It’s been two years since you’ve been home.
“Oh…” Javier’s voice drops, the same way everyone does when you tell them.
“I’m sorry.” Except you’re surprise at how sincerely soft his voice is. “I thought I heard something about it. I should’ve fucking remembered… Sorry.”
He apologizes again, surprising you once more as genuine repentance floats off his voice.
You thank him understandingly. After all, it's one of the better responses you’ve been given. But you don’t want to dig into this, especially with him, so you quickly change the conversation.
“So how long are you here for? I’m sure there must be other drug cartels waiting for you to take them down.” You offer casual.
Not only had he taken down Pablo Escobar a while back, you briefly heard of his very recent grand move against the other cartel in Columbia.
He’s impressive, the town’s hero and golden boy.
“Uh actually, I’m retired. Gonna take a step back for a bit.” Javier answers just as polite and calm as you had answered him.
Oh. You hadn’t heard that. Or maybe you did and forgot.
You now feel like the foolish one and genuinely congratulate him.
“It takes a lot to decide when to step away. Besides, you deserve a break after all you did.” You mean those words.
After all, they were the same comforting words his father told you when you came back home.
A pause fills the truck and you worry you’ve maybe overstepped.
“I…yeah.” Javier breathes out. “Thanks. Appreciate that.”
Your heart flutters at how small and genuine he sounds.
“So…how about them Dallas Cowboys, huh?” Javier offers light and for some reason you laugh.
It’s not much, but it feels like a lifeline.
When you arrive to pick up your grandmother she gasps so giddy when she sees the surprise guest with you. Her excitement lights up the drive while she talks about her day taking full advantage of having Javier listening to her.
“Oh I’m so glad you’re back home safe Javi!” She gushes and then says your name.
You’re already panicking.
“With so many of your friends living out of town, maybe you’ll get to spend more time back in the city with Javier!?” She offers to you brightly and absolute horror seizes your heart.
Shooting a petrified face at her you silently plead for this discussion to die.
Javier in the back seat weakly laughs. Because of course Javier, ever the gentleman, had your grams sitting up front.
“Oh don’t give me that look.” Your grandma playfully teases back at you. “At least go rent a movie with him.”
The thought crosses your mind about turning around and dropping her back off.
“Did you know,” Javier innocently jumps in. “The first ever blockbuster was opened in Dallas?”
Your grandma coos in awe as if he’s just explained a miracle.
“See! Now you have to go with him to one!” She urges.
A horrified indignant noise escapes you. While behind you, Javier snickers even more and you’re tempted to drop him off on the side of the road to let the coyotes feast on him.
The minute you arrive at the Peña’s home you can’t get out of the truck fast enough.
Dinner fortunately goes smooth and you’re surprised at how eased the rest of the time unfolds. You do hate how many times your eyes flicker towards Javier like if you’re still trying to soak him in.
Then, from across the table, Javier’s gaze flickers to you fast catching you staring red handed. Your heart transforms into a jackrabbit, petrified and thumping fast, almost making you flee right then and there.
Until your grandpa addresses you. His warm eyes dance with a surprise in his gaze.
“We’ve decided to have some of your sister's training here.”
Your heart now skips over itself.
Your gramps and sister both explain the plan hatched while you were on the road. In order to get used to competing in different spaces, your sister decided to train here at the Peña’s.
You’re hesitant, but understand the logic. You’re even impressed. But you can’t pinpoint why you’re so nervous about this.
Señor Peña now calls to you, sensing your hesitation, and tenderly grins.
“Don’t worry mija,” his kind eyes crinkle with understanding. “It’s no trouble at all.”
His reassurance is grace and you smile back relieved while thanking him deeply.
“Seems like you’re the boss here.” Javier suddenly joins in with a casual tone and you freeze.
“Well yeah, that’s my coach you’re talking to.” Your sister proudly declares.
“Coach?” Javier’s voice perks up curious.
“Yeah.” You answer with a small smile. “That’s me.”
“Been barking orders at me all these years so why not put her in charge.” Your sister innocently adds and in pure sobbing annoyance you want to shove her face into her plate.
Thankfully everyone laughs, illuminating the room.
But you’re faced with a new reality. You’re going to be here more, seeing Javier Peña more.
And you don’t know how you feel about that yet.
-
The Peña ranch in the morning sits tranquil and the peace gives you the focus on training.
You’re surprised at how good your sister and the mare already bond. You explain a few drills and have your sister run a few repetitions of them.
“You sound like a tough one.” Javier’s voice surprises you and you almost jump over the fence.
Glancing back, he approaches you with two thermoses.
“Pop and I thought you might need an extra pick me up.” He offers and you can’t help but greedily grab at it.
“Tell your dad thanks and that he’s a saint.”
Javier snorts at your reply.
Now your focus returns to your sister. You recommend a type of turning drill vividly remember doing yourself. Your sister playfully salutes you and begins.
“How she looking, coach?” Him calling you ‘coach’ draws a dangerous electricity that snaps up your spine.
“Don’t call me coach.” You dryly tell him trying to keep yourself composed.
“Well isn’t that what you are?” He teases casually.
Your face scrunches up annoyed while his eyes crinkle amused.
“Don’t you have things to do, Javier Peña?” You sigh, already exhausted of this man.
“Javi…you can just call me Javi, coach.”
You’re tempted to childishly scoot away from him. Younger you would have never imagined he was this annoying.
“Don’t call me coach.” You dully repeat.
“Okay, coach.”
Now you contemplate just shoving him away.
But all the annoyance washes away when commotion hits. The horse makes a disgruntled whinny and immediately both you and Javier whip your attention towards the ring. Your sister calmly stays on the saddle, gently soothing down her companion.
After asking if she’s good, her eased thumbs up reassures you. She does a few trots to calm everyone down. You even exhale relieved.
“You lost in thought?” Javier comments.
“Yeah.” You answer him with a mutter. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
You almost don’t tell him. But you surprise yourself and do.
You explain the type of pace that comes with training in barrel racing. There’s a pattern and method to it all. You don’t realize you’ve rambled until you blink and realize Javier stares so directly at you. His eyebrows furrow slightly as if he’s focused hard listening to your words.
Embarrassed, you’re about to stammer out an apology when Javier whistles low.
“You know your fucking shit.” He nods appreciatively and hearing his pride ignites something dangerous in your chest.
Another surprise sharp whistle comes. Out from the barn, a further ways away, Chucho stands staring out. He even waves at you and you wave back.
“You gonna work today, hijo?” He calls out.
Javier curses under his breath.
“Busted.” You joke and now he’s the one side eying you.
“Please you’re the one slacking off here!” Your baby sister suddenly complains loud and cheeky “You’re not getting paid by the hour, coach!”
“Guess we’re both in trouble.” Javier snickers.
You roll your eyes but quickly sneer at your smiling sister.
“Alright then. See ya later…bandita.” Javier already walks away by the time you hear his goodbye.
But it hits you.
He thankfully stopped calling you coach. But now, what replaced it…
Little Bandit.
The nickname rips through you with a barbed fierceness you’re not prepared for.
The rest of the month follows this same routine.
On training days Javier shows up with something for you to drink. Once he even came with a few goods from the bakery across town.
No matter what, he watches practice with you for as long as he can before getting called back to the ranch.
During these moments together, he asks about how the turns are made or why you correct your sister when you do. It’s friendly. You actually start enjoying his company especially when your grandfather so eagerly leaves to hang out with Chucho instead.
The greetings and thanks are always the same.
“Thanks, Peña.”
“Javi,” he patiently corrects you everytime.
You can’t bring yourself to call him that just yet.
At the start of the new month everyone sleeps in and arrives later to the Peña’s ranch.
This time you’ve brought more barrels. Thankfully you can move them with the help of your sister. Suddenly besides you, boots clamor onto the truck and rapidly you snap your attention to the source of the sound.
Javier Peña smoothly climbs up to help you with the rest of the barrels.
He’s in a striking soft purple button up shirt. Sweat already shines against his bare arms. Thick worn in working gloves cover his hands. His hair seems a bit curlier today and he wears aviator sunglasses that suit his face.
Effortlessly Javier grabs onto one and lifts it by himself.
You’re stunned. Even your sister stops and stares just as surprised.
Javier is strong. Doesn’t seem like the muscular type but he’s built and radiates a type of seasoned strength of a well grown man, a rancher man.
His arms firmly hold the barrel, sturdy and toned, and you can’t look away.
“Where d’ya want me to put it?” Javier yells and you trip out of your thoughts to dumbly point where the barrel needs to be placed.
Your grandfather whistles proudly seeing Javier.
“If this rancher thing doesn’t work out for you Jav, you got the makings of a fine rodeo man.” Your grandpa teases.
Javier chuckles, with his eyes averted a bit bashful.
“Could add him to the team.” Your grandpa notes with a twinkling gleam of something mischievous.
You reply a dry no as you move to get off the truck.
In a flash, Javier jogs over and immediately reaches his hand out to help you get down. Placing your hand in his, Javier helps you down and you thank him.
He’s wearing gloves. This shouldn’t feel so significant. Yet the way he firmly holds your hand makes your heart sprout wings.
Even back on the solid dirt ground your legs don’t feel as if they’re under you.
Javier doesn’t stick around after that and you’re allowed to focus.
It’s later in the day, later than the usual practice times, and the Texas sun beats down with a fierceness. You call for more water breaks to keep everyone hydrated.
During a break, a rustling catches your attention. There towards the barn, Javi moves in and around the place.
You just catch the smallest glimpse of him with a hammer in his hand as he heads into the smaller enclosure. Curiosity gets the best of you.
Grabbing another water bottle you justify it as wanting to be polite, but curiosity gnaws at you.
The clang of hammering approaches louder and louder until you spot him in a goat pen. He hammers in a reinforced slab, probably fixing a hole. His back to you allows a glorious full sight of his broad shoulders at work.
He even switches to a drill and watching him casually use power tools, you never thought you’d find this so attractive.
One of the goats nearby makes a blep of a noise at your appearance and you almost want to shush them.
Javier glances over his shoulders spotting you.
“Hey there, bandita. Qué pasó?” he nods at you as the nickname flares up your heart.
“Just…knew how hot it was getting and gramps told me just to check up on you.” You lie waving the water bottle.
Javier turns to face you and you’re greeted with the sight of his full sweaty glory. You should be turned off seeing how bad his shirt sticks to him, how he smells of hay and dirt, but it’s incredibly hot.
The hard work of his day evident on every inch of him brews a dark cloud of desire in you.
“Oh well, tell your gramps thanks.” He replies snagging the water bottle from you.
His plus lips, the glorious sight of his thick slick neck, and the movement of the sweat just covering him as he drinks from the water bottle…
Getting this weak over the sight of him just drinking a water bottler you now think is the lowest you can go. You wonder about walking down by the river nearby and just jumping in to cool down.
From a distance, your sister yells out for you.
“Duty calls.” Javier smirks. With a sheepish smile you shrug then wave a quick goodbye.
You practically run out of that barn like a fleeing field mouse.
Later that night, alone in your room, your fingers slip under your sheets to slide under your sleep shorts. You imagine licking the sweat off Javier’s neck, picture his thick strong fingers, that fix up barns, hoist up barrels, and wonder how thick they would feel inside you.
You fall into desire’s blissful sticky release.
When you shower the next morning, you rationalize that those thoughts of Javier simply come from needing to scratch an itch.
Besides, you couldn’t get tangled with Javier. He’s older. He’s Laredo’s golden boy. He doesn’t go after broken cowgirls like you.
In the shower you turn the heat up more. A part of you hopes it will scorch off the building desire in your heart.
-
The morning is muggy, a soupy cloudy early day begging you to curl back into bed. Soft chirping echoes of the mockingbirds fill the air. You opted for earlier practices this week so your sister could prepare for a trip with her friends coming up. You agreed, wanting her to still enjoy moments outside of this.
“You out here all alone, bandita?” Javier.
He breaks the morning’s stillness. Holding his routine two drinks, he approaches you bundled up in a nice jacket that flatters him.
Thanking him, you greedily grab the drink and savor its warmth.
You explain that your sister is free roaming around the ranch this morning and it’s why you’re all alone. You stare at the empty riding area where the dirt sits holy and untouched.
“Do you miss it?” Javier asks. His voice is quietly probing, gentle as the morning mist.
That question holds a million answers all tied up in a messy knot.
“Sometimes.” You answer truthfully because you did. You missed the adrenaline, the wind blowing past you, speeding around a barrel so fast it was like you were out running the wind.
“Can I ask…” Javier and his soft, kind voice presses on. “What happened?”
Might as well. You’re now sort of friends with Javier even though the word feels sticky in your heart.
“You know that saying about how you just gotta get back on the horse? Well it's easier said than done.” You mutter.
It happened during a ride in Arizona. You’ve fallen and wrecked before. But this one just felt different. You took a barrel close and then everything slipped away. You remember being on the saddle, remember feeling your body float. Then the world went dark.
You woke up to a nasty concussion, a broken arm, and a couple of rowdy scrapes. You don’t remember your foot getting caught in the stirrup, but that’s what had happened.
“Holy fuck...” Javier breathes out, the weight of your words hang in his. “Shit I’m sorry.”
You thank him earnestly and reassure him it’s fine, just unfortunate shit like that happens. Everyone knew how dangerous the sport could get. The rodeo was a rough ride and every cowboy knew that.
But for you, you just couldn’t shake it off.
“I’m glad you made it out.” Sincerity blooms in his voice and your lips tug grateful at how considerate he is as you thank him again.
“You haven’t gone back?” Now he dances on a tight line.
“Nope. I tried after getting the clearance from the doctors but… it just didn’t go well.” You truthfully tell him.
You didn’t want to ride anymore, didn’t want to face everyone or the pressure of the race or the terror swallowing you whole. It felt as if you were burnt dry and exhausted from the inside out.
Your grandma gently embraced you and held you for what felt like hours.
“Then don’t go. You don’t have to do anything that makes you this worried and sick. Nothing is worth you being this scared, not even the damn rodeo.” She told you tenderly and with the most profoundly kind smile. You cried out of relief.
“It’s brave,” Javier says so firmly understanding. “Making a decision like that is really fucking brave, hard as fuck too.”
You gently grin and thank him again while blinking away a few tears.
“Same goes for you too.” You tell him.
From your gramps, who had gotten the full story from Chucho, you learned more about what happened with Javier and his final days in Columbia.
“I don’t know much but, what you did was brave too.” Your voice comes out softer than you expected.
He barks a laugh now. It’s dry, bitter, and can catch fire.
“Doesn't feel like it.”
You understand maybe more than he even knows. So you think about maybe what you would’ve told yourself.
“You did what was right.” You begin. “Everyone else might judge you or say shit but it doesn't matter. You’re not meant to please everyone or do what everyone expects you to do. And if that’s seen as a bad thing then…I don’t know, fuck them and fuck that.”
You say it so simply Javier busts out laughing. It’s a true blue laugh, so sweet it crinkles his beautiful dirt road eyes.
You’ve never seen him laugh like this before. And he’s beautiful.
You join in snickering as well but try to ignore the butterflies suddenly nesting in your stomach.
He’s really such a dream. A carved out Texas man so seasoned from the world, yet he still stays so kind and devoted to his family.
You get why many in the town, especially the girls during your time in high school, are all over him. Now you’re afraid you might’ve fallen into the same pit traps they did.
You’re falling under the spell of Javier Peña.
“So you’re really not going back to catching drug dealers and what not?” You ask when the laughter settles.
“I could’ve.” Javi answers. “Damn DEA would’ve taken me back. But…I just couldn’t see a future with it anymore.”
“And now here I am.” He says with a boyish soft grin.
“Now here you are”. You repeat with a nod.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” You truthfully tell him. You knew his dad worried about him. But the quiet truth is that you’re grateful for this time getting to know him now.
His eyes soften and your heat bursts.
“Thanks, glad I’m here. Glad you’re here too, bandita.” Then he softly nudges you. It’s playfully, friendly but it’s his words that almost take you out by the knees.
“Anyway, the government’s dumb. They don't deserve you.” You nod and Javier snorts amused.
“Guess I should listen to a cowgirl like you.” He teases.
You shrug. “Some people say I’m not one anymore.”
Especially because you didn’t ride anymore.
“Fuck them and fuck that.” He repeats your words and your lips twitch with a bubbling giggle.
Right now, it feels like you and him are two lonely birds sitting on a wire. Yet there’s something comforting about it, knowing it’s with him.
Then it dawns on you. You enjoy spending time with him. You know there’s desire already trickling in for him. But now he’s becoming someone precious to you.
You can’t even deny that anymore.
“Thanks, Javi.”
You don’t miss the way his eyebrows shoot up high.
Thunder roars suddenly clashing into the air interrupting the moment.
The dark clouds now loom on the horizon and coat the morning in an impending murkiness.
“Guess a storm’s coming in.” Javi mumbles.
Thankfully your sister rides back in quick and Javi decides to do some final things around the ranch before the storm rolls in. Before the rain comes, you and your sister pack up quickly. But it’s too late.
The rain pours down in a blink, almost like a hole in the sky popped to let a faucet drain out. The wind even picks up dangerously quick. It’s chaotic trying to wrangle the hose back to the stables but you and your sister manage.
“Come inside!” Gramps yells from the Peña’s porch and you and your sister scurry to the shaded sanctuary.
“You coming in?” Your sister asks while drying herself off with a towel. You don’t move from your spot by the steps.
“I’ll be in a bit.” You reassure her. She glares suspiciously and you shoo her away.
Javi hasn’t come back yet.
Noises clang out from the barn. A poisonous worry erupts through you and immediately you rush back out into the rain.
Inside the barn Javi tries yanking up a barn ladder that’s fallen over. It’s sturdy, wooden, and stuck in a hard position.
You move to help. Without any words or having to explain anything you both, as a team, work to yank the ladder out. Patiently and slowly the ladder gets moved to a spot the wind won’t knock it over.
The rush of it all has you breathing heavy.
“Thanks bandita.”
You breathlessly laugh and turn to maybe make a joke about now becoming a ranch hand and stealing his job. But all words, all thoughts, die instantly.
Having to work together to push the ladder, you now notice how close you are to him.
The sight of Javi soaked to the bone from the rain is corruptible. His clothes stick to him showing off his thick frame and shoulders. His drenched hair now seems darker with the curls more pounced.
He’s also heavily breathing too.
Now his lips, how soft and wet they look, have you hypnotized.
The pattering rain pours down hard on the roof, the only noise in the barn. You notice a shift in Javier. His eyes ever so slightly soften, almost hazing over. You might just be imaging it, but his face gradually seems to lean closer. Or maybe, you’re the one leaning towards him.
You’re possessed with an ache to kiss him, to see how the rain tastes on his lips.
It’s just you and him, soaked to the bone. You probably look like a drenched mess of a creature, but you’ve never wanted someone this much.
“Aye!”
Chucho suddenly shouts out from outside the barn and your heart stops.
Like a skittish roadrunner, you scramble away fast from Javier and just in time. His dad walks in from the other side of the barn holding an umbrella with an extra in his hand.
“You kids okay?” He calls out.
Both you and Javi yell back, quickly moving towards the elder Peña.
“You two look like a couple of soaked barn cats.” Chucho teases.
You weakly laugh and thank him for the umbrella.
Javi grumbles at his dad while he grabs the umbrella to open it up. Ever chivalrous, Javier holds it above you and him. Yet the entire walk to the house is quiet.
Fuck. Did you ruin this tentative whatever was forming between you and him? Or were you just imagining things?
You stay quiet the rest of the time waiting out the storm.
“You okay?” Your sister, keen as always, notices.
You lie with a smile saying the weather’s getting to you. When in reality, it’s a man that has.
Because you can’t stop thinking about Javier Peña now.
-
The rain stays for the rest of the week and everyone takes the schedule changes with stride. Your sister even heads out earlier on her trip earlier during a lighter drizzle.
By Saturday night the storm settles down.
Your closest friend from high school, now back in town for the month, even calls your home phone begging you to take advantage of the better weather.
“Look, before I go back to Florida let’s enjoy a nice night out, yeah? Maybe play some pool?” She pleads.
It’s how you now find yourself at the bar. You haven’t gotten dressed up in a while and you’re reminded of how nice it feels.
As much as you jokingly fussed about going out, being with your best friend laughing at the bar is lovely.
Ricky, one of the bartenders, actually was in the same grade as you two and it’s nice reminiscing, snickering over a nice drink.
“So how’s it been hanging out with Mr. Hero of the town himself?” Your friend smirks.
You make an unamused face at her while Ricky perks up.
“Wait, who are you hanging out with?” He whispers excitedly.
“Javier Peña.” Excitedly, she spills and you roll your eyes when Ricky gasps.
“You’ve fallen for the guy half the county is in love with!?” He hisses. You hate it, but it’s true and tastes soberly cold.
“Okay but practically all of our class was and maybe still is in love with him.” Your best friend adds.
“Well y’all do remember, he left Lorraine Wilson at the altar right?” Ricky reminds everyone and your mouth turns acidic.
“Oh fuck you’re right.” Your friend whispers.
“Might be bad news.” Ricky tensely tells you.
You want to hiss that he’s not like that. He’s kind, a bit annoying, but with a good heart.
“Shit, speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Ricky says in a low awed tone.
Worried you whip around to see what caught his attention. Absolute horror drowns you.
Javi and another man step into the bar and you want to run.
Your best friend squeals excited beside you, but you can’t comprehend what she says. Javier has stolen your attention.
Ricky called him the devil and he does seem like an angel dipped in temptation.
The sleek blazer he wears is dressed down by his nice button up shirt and jeans. His hair is styled nice, seeming so soft and begging for someone’s fingers to run through it. A buzz swarms in your head seeing him outside the ranch looking this gorgeous.
That’s when he spots you. For a split moment you two see each other. His eyes widen and before anyone can react you whip back towards the bar.
“Looks like you’re about to fall outta your seat.” Ricky snickers and you death glare at him.
“Okay,” your friend nudges you. “The guy he’s with, I think that’s David Martinez. He was in Peña’s class right? He’s so hot now, what the fuck?” She breathes out.
You almost toast to that because you felt the same about Javier.
So you keep your head down, enjoy your drink and maybe wonder about suggesting that game of pool your best friend advertised.
“Would you two beauties be alright with a bit of company?” A sweet male voice comes out and immediately draws the attention to him.
Behind you stands Javier Peña and his friend.
David has always been kind to your family and his mom even worked with your grandma at the shelter. You appreciate that Javi still hangs out with him.
“Yes of course. We’d love some company, right?” Your friend brightly asks you and you smile polite.
Your heart however rages like it’s a wild bucking bronco trying to break free.
The guys buy a round of drinks. Everyone laughs reminiscing about that one famous senior prank where the class managed to get two cows into the school.
The atmosphere is friendly, light. But your eyes constantly flicker nervously to Javi. You can’t stop staring at him, can’t stop thinking about him. Now here he is a Texas dream, or maybe your nightmare.
You turn back to take another sip and in that shift, your best friend turns to direct all her attention to David who moves to sit beside her.
But now Javier smoothly slides into the barstool next to you.
“Nice to see you outside the ranch.” His voice comes out smooth and rich.
You agree. But the air turns awkward, as if neither of you know how to tackle this new situation.
Suddenly heels clicking fast arrive. Standing to the side is a girl you recognize from your sister’s class that just graduated high school.
“Hi,” she smiles, staring at Javi with obvious hearts in her eyes.
He politely but cautiously greets her back.
“I was, um, wondering if you wanted to maybe dance with me?” She’s bold. You can at least appreciate that.
“My friends all dared me to ask you since it’s, ya know, you.” She gushes and giggles.
“Uh, appreciate the thought but I’ll have to pass, sorry.” He turns her down gently.
As if she finally realizes you even existed her eyes blink to you.
“Oh hey!” She recognizes you as an older sister to one of her classmates. And then for something else.
“Yeah didn’t you like, used to be a rodeo cowgirl or something and then something happened so now you’re not doing anything anymore?”
She’s being underlyingly mean. Her misleading chipper tone, vapid smile, are all soaked in venom meant to shake you or even scare Javi away from you.
But you’re used to it by now. You’re about to comment how she shouldn’t even be here.
Javier however speaks first and fast.
“Hey,” Javier’s voice jumps shockingly sharply, almost reprimanding. Your eyes go wide at how fast he reacts. He even glares at the girl.
Besides you, your best friend immediately turns around.
“Oh hey!” She greets the young newcomer. “Weren’t you that girl caught buying weed only for the cops to figure out you were actually buying oregano?”
Her cheerful tone makes you bust out a snort because yeah, she’s right.
The girl’s face falls absolutely mortified.
“Now get the fuck out of here.” Your dear friend finishes sweet but the undercurrent of her voice looms threatening. The disgraced girl rushes away before she can even reply.
You wheeze into your hand and fondly lean against your dearest sweet friend.
“If she or any of her little punk ass friends try anything again, I’ll shove my heel so far up their asses.” She reassures.
“Don’t worry,” Ricky now jumps in. “I’m definitely telling our bouncer those little shits managed to sneak in.”
Gratitude carves out an ocean in you and you’re thankful for those who understand.
David whistles appreciatively and your friend, with a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder, returns to her discussion with him.
You feel Javier’s eyes burning on you.
“Does shit like that happen often?” His concerned and low voice floats out among the music.
You shrug.
“Back when I first came back it did, but it's dying down.”
You were supposed to be a big rodeo star. You even had an official big name brand sponsorship lined up. But, after the accident, not returning to the rodeo painted you a failure in the eyes of the town.
Especially compared to its bright shining star you sit beside.
Suddenly a warmth slides over your hand resting on the bar. Javier squeezes your hand gently, a reassuring comfort.
“I’m sorry.” He mutters deeply sad. “S’fucking awful.”
You thank him, even make a dry joke about small town bullshit which earns you a small dry chuckle.
“The shit I got after Lorraine…” he sighs and now you find his hand doesn’t leave yours. You don’t want it to.
“I get it. Shit’s brutal.” He finishes, a steeled hardness lingering in his tone.
Now your hand squeezes his.
His eyes, gleaming tiger’s eyes gemstones, flicker up to you and you smile softly.
Javi’s hand feels so lovely. It's rough, a bit callous but cozy. Just like him.
“Hey!” Your best friend suddenly cheers. “Let’s dance!”
She interrupts the moment but you can’t blame her. A hesitant scrunched up reaction tugs at your face though.
“It’s a slow dance.” You waver.
“That’s the best kind! Come on!” She urges and you spot her hand already intertwining with the guy’s.
“You go,” you urge with a beaming grin. “I wanna finish my drink.”
“Aw, come on now bandita,” now Javi slides off his seat.
Standing up straight, he extends his hand out to you.
“You gotta at least get one dance in.” He smirks.
It’s just one dance and you don’t know if you’ll ever get another chance to dance with him. That thought alone outweighs the hesitation. Placing your hand in his, Javier leads you out to the dance floor.
Javi maintains a polite distance from you. Yet the faintest scent of his cologne floats off him, a siren’s song pure of temptation. His hand keeps yours in its protective hold while he gently guides you to the beat of the music.
Being this close to him clouds your focus in a tantalizing haze begging you to get lost in. But you can’t. You can’t even stare into his eyes. So your focus flickers out to the rest of the bar.
David and your best friend dance close, already getting cozy with each other. Then your eyes move to the door.
The bar’s bouncer sternly starts throwing the three girls out and the one you recognize stares at you with disgusted hatred.
You snort.
“What?” Javi mutters, his voice silky against the low music.
You nudge your head towards the bar’s entrance and Javi follows your gaze.
“Oh hey.” He comments, noticing the scene.
“Good riddance. Poor girl must be pissed seeing you dance with someone me though.” You mutter a bit gleeful at the thought.
“Wait, what?” Javi sounds insulted.
“Uh yeah,” you reply, confused. “I mean, it’s kinda funny. You’re Mr. hometown hero here with the town’s nobody.”
“No.” Javier snaps fast. “Anyone who says or believes that’s a pinché cabrón.”
They’re a fucking asshole and the way he speaks with a conviction refuses to allow any doubt to refute him.
“And besides…I’m not a hero.” That’s when Javi’s voice drops, transforming into a whisper tangled among the slow country ballad playing.
“I’m not that golden bullshit guy everyone thinks I am.” His voice contains a stinging rawness you recognize.
Now you’re the one snapping back at him.
“Yeah you are. You’re good, Javi.” You begin firm.
“You’re noble and kind. Brave.” The words flow from your heart and you don’t even stop them. “You’ve worked hard to help people. I’m sure there’s shit you regret and you might not think you’re good because of it, but you are.”
He stays silent. Only the tune of the slow jam settles between you and him. You’re worried you’ve maybe said something to upset him.
Then Javier exhales your name and it has never sounded so tender.
Your throat tightens and when you finally look at him, you’re greeted by a galaxy.
The lights of the bar dance in his dark road eyes that stare directly at you as if the rest of the bar has melted away. Javi’s hand gingerly against your back now slides down gently. In that same motion, he slowly begins drawing you to him.
You don’t resist and catch his eyes flickering to your lips.
A sudden clamoring collision erupts and startled, you clutch onto Javi.
The cause of the commotion is a man who tripped into some chairs. He effortlessly laughs it off. The group he’s with helps him up and you’re thankful it’s not a bar fight.
You sigh relaxed.
That’s when you notice Javier shifted to draw you closer to him. In an almost protective hold, he has you now close against his broad chest. His cologne smells divine, makes your mouth water.
Like a bolt of electricity striking you, you’re galvanized and scramble immediately out of his hold.
“Wait, bandita, what’s wrong? You okay?” He’s so concerned and you dare not look at him.
“Just need some air.” You reply moving away from Javi towards the door leading to the small patio outside.
Your best friend swiftly rushes to you.
“Hey, you okay?!”
You rapidly reassure her that you’re fine and just need air. You even joke about not being able to handle your drinks anymore.
“That fucker didn’t try anything, right?” She asks low and deadly.
You shake your head and squeeze her hand. It’s enough for her to let you leave. Your body operates on autopilot until you stumble into the night air.
It feels like you’re resurfacing. You move to lean against the railing and simply gather yourself.
You feel possessed again needing to kiss him.
And it’s not just that. You want all of him all the time now and it’s infesting you. You’re barely keeping your head above water or maybe you’re this far gone under the waves.
For a moment you think it might be drizzling again. Until you blink and realize the water against your eyes are tears threatening to spill.
You’re so afraid of how badly you want Javier, and how badly it might shatter right before your eyes.
Someone says your name cautiously.
Embarrassed, you turn towards the door.
Javi stands a few steps away from you. His handsome face crumbles instantly seeing you. Quickly he rushes to your side, as if on instinct wanting to help, until he stops.
“Bandita, are you okay!? Fuck… did I do this?” He stammers out worried.
“Did I overstep?” His voice is wrecked. He’s so apologetic already.
You shake your head trying to pathetically dab away the tears. Unable to look at Javier, your attention stays on the dark stretch of parking lot.
“I promise it’s not you. It’s me.” Maybe it will always just be you.
“Querida…”
Darling…he’s never called you that.
“Whatever it is, please let me help.” His voice pleads unbearably tender and you want to cry even more.
He really is so good, too good.
“I just…I just can’t take it...” you begin with a watery cough.
You finally look at him. The furrowed brows, his worried soaked eyes, concern paints him so young. You’re reminded of the young man you saw walking out of a bank all those years ago and how a piece of him stands before you now.
“I like you so much Javi.” Through the heartache, you finally admit it out loud. “Maybe even more than I wanna admit and I don't know if I can’t keep fighting it.”
His face scrunches up and his eyes rapidly scan over you.
“Fight it?” He mutters out. “Why fight it?”
Now you stare at him a bit confused. You have nothing to lose now. So you hold your heart out to him. You reveal it all…the fears and worries sprouting in your heart like uncomfortably cacti about how he deserves someone just as refined and established as him, that he'll eventually get bored of someone like you.
All your words come out hollow, especially thinking about how he can have anyone he wants.
Javier, suddenly in the middle of your ramble, interrupts, upset, snapping your name fiercely that any other words you want to say vanish.
“You’re the only one in this town who actually understands, who maybe even really fucking sees me.” He growls.
Your heart even jumps hearing how determined and raised his voice got.
“You…” Javi now chokes out and suddenly runs a hand over his face. Then his hands go to his hips. His eyes fall to the floor as if he’s taking a moment to gather himself.
“Fuck… you don’t even know what you do to me, how much you fucking mean to me.” Javier breathes and the words get caught in your ribs.
“Whenever you’re not around I can’t stand it. I just wanna be with you….all the damn time.” He coughs out as if he can’t even believe his words.
Those earth pool eyes of his flicker to you.
Under the watch of the clouded Texas deep night sky, it’s just you and him.
You don't know who moves first. Instead it feels like two magnets finally flinging together so fast the collision knocks you awake.
Because in a blink Javi’s hand holds face while his other yanks at your hips. Then he kisses you.
It’s all encompassing.
Immediately your hands scramble to claw at him, begging to get him as close as possible.
His mustache scrapes beautifully against your lips. You taste the beer lingering on his tongue and he’s divine. The wall of the bar suddenly hits your back.
Now you’re flush against him, fully pinned under all of Javier, and you moan. His tongue with hungered finesse licks into your mouth. One hand stays firmly holding your face while his other runs across your body trying to map you out.
His hips rut against yours and you go dizzy with aching raw need.
“Mi pretty bebita, so good to me.” He whispers out thick and heavy. You whine wanting him more, wanting him inside you every way possible. Everything feels molten.
Javi playfully bites your bottom lip and your knees almost buckle. Your mind simply chants for him.
A clash of teeth, a burning heat devours you while you chase every taste of Javier that he gives. It’s an unleashing of something raw and aching, as if finally you can breathe against him while something inside you whispers yes, yes you and I are here and you don’t want to ever leave.
A sudden droplet plops onto your head. You ignore it especially when your tongue swipes against Javi’s and he groans out the most heavenly noise.
A few more large obvious water drops come.
You and Javi freeze, halting mid make out like a paused VHS tape.
Then the rain arrives.
“Shit!” Javi coughs out immediately pulling away. He quickly shrugs off his blazer and drapes it over you, a makeshift umbrella.
Filled by the most buoyant bliss, you laugh.
Javier snorts, shaking his head but he must sense it too, all of it amongst the rain.
And it’s beautiful.
-
“I’m surprised you don’t wear this as much.” Javier comments as he picks up your Stetson cowboy hat.
He’s shirtless, only wearing his jeans. You’re treated to his bare broad shoulders and wonderfully sweet ass in his jeans. It’s an utterly devastating combo.
Sitting on your bed waiting to settle in for the night with him, you shrug.
You didn’t expect him to be so curious and constantly snooping around anytime he’s in your bedroom. Then again, you still can’t believe he’s even in your bedroom.
Sneaking away that the first weekend after the bar didn’t last long though.
Your grandma caught him a few Sunday mornings later trying to sneak out and she ran to you screaming excitedly when she could start planning the wedding. You still haven’t recovered from that.
Even with the blessings from both sides, including Chucho and your gramps, you still wanted to just enjoy being with Javi in these intimate carved out spaces.
His presence already is crystallizing here. His wallet and packs of nicotine gum clutter the night stand. His extra pair of sunglasses sit beside yours on the dresser. His faded worn Texas A&M University t-shirt is tossed by the bed and his boots are by the door. You treasure it all.
Javi, now standing in front of you, places the cowboy hat on top of your head.
The familiar presence of wearing it is like greeting an old friend. You bashfully grin at your handsome rancher. Javier’s eyes gloss over you, taking in the sight. His hand moves to tenderly hold your face.
“You look good, like a true damn cowgirl.” He mutters and your heart flutters against its cage.
“Know you can ride like one now too,” his voice dips with a magnetic undertone as his words hold the heavily sexual double meaning.
You playfully smack his shoulder and he smirks.
“I’m still surprised you don’t call me cowgirl instead of bandita.” You note gently.
“Do you mind that I call you that?” One of his eyebrows lifts up curiously.
No, you didn’t mind at all. You were just curious and you even tell him that.
Javi snorts and his thumb now strokes your cheek.
“The way Pop used to talk about you and how you’d race made you sound like some wild bandit trying to outrun outlaws or something.”
You snort now and your fondness for Chucho Peña triples.
“And then,” Javier continues. “When I met you, I knew I was fucked.”
Now your face scrunches up confused and you ask why. A small charming grin tugs his lips.
“Cause the minute I saw you glaring at me in the barn you stole every fucking inch of me.”
Javi’s thumb now moves to run over your lip and desire bubbles in you. You kiss his thumb, delicate and reverent.
“My pretty little bandit.” His voice is low, a fond rumble in his chest that you want to drown in as much as you can.
You think of all the awards you’ve won, the tournaments you’ve faced. Yet they all seem to fall so short to those words, to this man you so endlessly adore.
In your cowboy hat, you yank Javi close and kiss him. Quickly you and him both tumble into your bed sheets, melting against each other in pure bliss.
In the afterglow, you snatch up the cowboy hat again and now place it on Javi’s head. Your gruff rancher's face twists into a grumpy frown and you grin giddy.
“You look good, a classic Texas man.” You compliment him, almost mirroring the words he told you.
His face scrunches up more.
“Always thought I looked stupid wearing these.” He huffs taking off the Stetson.
“Everybody looks good in a cowboy hat.” You reply truthfully and place the hat back on him.
“Especially you.” You add letting your hand slide across his bare chest. The sight of him in the cowboy hat, your cowboy hat, flickers to life the simmering heat from earlier. He’s already so beautiful and now a cowboy hat on, shirtless, with the dimming post sex glow radiating from him, he’s personified sin.
“Cowboy hat doing it for ya, huh?” Javi’s little cocky smirk has you glaring playfully at him.
“Shut up.” You huff but then swiftly kiss him. Soon enough you become one again with the man taking root in your heart.
Early the next morning, when he thinks you’re asleep, Javier’s fingertips trace over your face with butterfly wing delicateness.
“So fuckin’ crazy about you, baby.” He whispers to your unknowing sleeping form. You feel your heart blossom, a morning bloom wanting to keep him tangled in your soul for as long as he’ll stay.
You think again of two lonely birds on the wire, maybe not so lonely anymore.
With a soft kiss goodbye against your forehead Javi heads out and you soak molten in his words.
You end up not seeing him for a few days. Over the phone he explains, annoyed, of having to run around trying to find a specific fence wire and how it’s kept him away.
Even with how much you miss him, it does allow you space.
Earlier this month, you decided on a new training schedule. Each week would alternate between practice at the Peña’s ranch and yours.
Currently practice is at your family’s ranch.
“Next time you talk to that boyfriend of yours, tell him to get tacos from that place he got us lunch from last time.” Your sister yells as she finishes up a few drills around the ring.
You roll your eyes. “He isn’t a food delivery service.”
She simply shrugs.
The day is winding down. Early evening approaches and the Texas sun starts to bathe everything in a golden glaze straight out of a George Strait song.
“You know…I’m happy for you.” As you and her start putting everything away for the day, your sister casually drops that line.
“About what?” You smirk.
“You and Javi.” She clarifies. Her face is messy with sweat but she beams bright. “You deserve someone like him.”
Your sister, always so kind, maybe too kind for a world this harsh sometimes.
“What? Someone who always manages to steal the last biscuit or flirts with grandma more and more everyday?” You tease and your little sister snickers.
“Well yeah. But what I mean is…you deserve someone who sees how great you are.”
Her words crash into you with a tidal wave of emotions. Her attention rests with her horse, getting in a few final brushes before she turns in for the day.
“I know you… think you’re some sort of failure or that you’re not good. But you are. You’re actually the fucking best.” She says so simply. “And I’m happy Javi sees it too.”
Tears clog your eyes and dry out your throat.
“You sound like a bad hallmark card.” You laugh watery but the gratitude flows out.
Your sister glares then throws the grooming brush at you. You laugh harder when she misses and once she’s out of the stable you playfully shove her.
“You heading back?” She notices your slow pace that hangs back.
You reassure her you’ll be home in a minute and just need a few minutes to yourself. With an understanding nod she walks back to the house.
Now alone you head to the very last stable and head to your ace. You miss your old companion and seeing this sweet creature nudge his muzzle against your hand conjures a sad nostalgic tug in your heart.
Grabbing the saddle, and untangling the reign, you head out to the ring.
You’ve been talking about your old rodeo days with Javi a lot recently. You ask him about Columbia as well. In the sacred soft space of pillow talk. you and him gently unravel more memories, more secrets to each other. It’s made you nostalgic, even a bit wistful.
Plus, you haven’t done this in a while. You frequently rode at a leisurely place along the trails by the river from time to time. But getting into the ring is still so sacred.
With your horse all set, you hoist yourself up and onto the saddle.
Just a few laps is all you do. You focus on the sound of the dirt under the hooves, the light breeze on your face, the feel of riding again.
Then, after gaining more confidence, you speed up.
It’s not even close to the speeds you used to hit, but it’s quick. You even make a lap around the ring going this speed.
One rotation, one good lap and you’re soaring.
It’s nothing. It’s not even an attempt to get back into the rhythm of racing. But it’s a ride and home in its own way.
You slow down, let the horse trot out of his groove to calm down. The entire time, your chest feels so light.
Your eyes glance out and then your heart drops.
Javi, with his flat out jaw dropped, stares at you as if you’ve spouted wings. You didn’t even hear him approach.
He breathes out your name.
Scrambling, a bit embarrassed, you quickly dismount, and after guiding the horse to the side you rush towards him.
You’re about to apologize for not noticing him when Javier ends up speaking first.
“You’re incredible.” He exhales in awe and it knocks the wind from you.
He must see whatever emotion colors your face because he repeats himself again firmer.
“You’re amazing, bandita.”
You weakly laugh thanking him.
“Does that mean-”
“Nah,” you gently cut him off and explain how you just enjoy a ride like that from time to time.
“It’s like just taking a casual drive type thing.” You shrug.
Suddenly Javi’s hand moves to rest on your arm leaning against the fence. He rubs so soft and comfortingly.
“Thank you,” he says gently. “For letting me know you.”
You want him to know every inch of you. The same way you want to know Javier in every way that you can. You want to carve out a home in your heart for him.
The hand that was on your arm moves to your cheek tilting your face towards his. He wears his classic aviator sunglasses you’ve grown fond of stealing from him.
He’s so gorgeous. It’s like the Texas sun was made to bask Javi in its glow. He’s a modern Helios, beautifully crafted with his deep earthy eyes and golden face.
“Proud of you, mi bandita.” He mutters with words soaked in adoration.
You swallow hard and let the truth sink into you.
“Thank you Javi… I’m proud of you too.” You earnestly tell him.
He snorts bashfully and you think you might be doomed to think about this man forever now, but it’s alright.
There’s something foreign in your chest growing so bright you feel as if you’ve swallowed a sun and maybe you have. Because Javier is bright, so unexpectedly warm.
A man crafted right out of the Texas golden magic hour.
And as Javi leans forward to kiss you so tenderly, you step forward into the sun, into his kaleidoscopic glow and it’s beautiful.
#hi hello howdy I’m so sorry this got so long but know Javi and I are baking you cowboy cookies as we speak#if you read thank you so much and know it really means the world to me#let’s rodeo fic series#rancher!javier Peña#Javier Peña x reader#javier pena x reader#javier peña x f!reader#javier pena fanfiction#narcos fanfiction#Javi P 🤎
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jana hi me again 🫣 could i have the prompt 28 "No one ever cared about me like you."
with either javi p or joel 🫠❤️🤎
take my hand, wreck my plans
pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader
word count: 557
summary: Javi seeks out your company after a rough day.
tags/warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, alcohol consumption, mention of food, able-bodied reader, no use of y/n, idiots in love because of who i am as a person (let me know if i missed something!)
a/n: i have once again been possessed by angsty thoughts and somehow, this came out of it. i hope you like this eden @reddedmiller and i’m sorry that it took three months lol. thank you @catchallfangirl for beta reading 🫶🏻
dividers by @saradika-graphics as always because they’re the best <3
find my full masterlist here & follow @janaispunknotifs for fic updates :)
He knocks on your door at 2 in the morning, all but collapses into your arms as soon as you swing it open, tired eyes and heavy limbs that melt into your embrace.
Your colleagues had warned you when he started coming over to your desk, inviting you out for lunch, about how he would chew you up and spit you out, like he did with half of the female staff at the embassy. You hadn’t listened, waving them off and going out with him anyway. First for a quick lunch break, then for after work drinks, then for dinner.
It was fun, a distraction, something to do and someone to know in this city where everything was foreign to you and where you felt more alone than ever before in your life.
It’s more, now. It doesn’t have a definition exactly, but you both know it. You’re the person he turns to when he needs somebody, and you’ll gladly be that for him.
“Do you have something to drink?” His face is sullen as he slumps down on your couch, like the weight of the world crushed him today. You furrow your brow.
“When was the last time you ate something, Javi?”
“‘M not hungry,” he grumbles, confirming your suspicion that he most likely survived the day solely on cigarettes and coffee.
You lean over the couch, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders from behind. His head falls back against you like he can’t help himself.
“I’m gonna make you a sandwich and get you some whiskey, okay?” Inching closer, you press a gentle kiss against his neck, just below his ear.
He sits up a little straighter and turns to you, reluctance in his eyes.
“Querida, it’s the middle of the night, you don’t have to-”
You shake your head and kiss him again, on his cheek this time. “It’s okay. I want to.”
He leans back hesitantly but doesn’t seem to have the energy to fight you on it, so your lips find his face once more before you head for the kitchen.
Watching him all but devour the food has you hiding your smile behind your own glass of whiskey. He already looks a little better.
“Not hungry, huh?” you tease, your voice light.
“Shut up,” comes his short reply, but his lips are twitching.
He has half a mind to stumble out of your flat again afterwards, but you convince him to stay, that it’s really no problem.
He takes a quick shower, mumbling about washing the day away, and you wait in bed, the warm light from your bedside lamp illuminating the room, until he slips under the covers beside you.
You wrap your arms around him again and hold him close, your fingers drawing shapes on his chest. He clears his throat, shifting awkwardly.
“Thank you,” he eventually mumbles, his voice low in the darkness.
“Of course, Javi.” He tends to get like that, struggling to receive any kind of affection or care when he feels like he has nothing to give back.
He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “No, seriously. No one ever cared about me like you. I- thank you.”
You sigh and pull him tighter into you, your face buried in his hair. You’ll care for him as long as he lets you.
thank you so much for reading! if you liked this, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment because they make me really happy 🤍
#janas fics#javier peña#narcos#narcos fanfiction#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena narcos#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedrostories#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier pena fic#javier pena fluff#javier pena angst#javier pena x f!reader#javier pena x female reader
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SEND ME REQUESTS!!!
ive been getting stuck in my head lately and i really need to get my eyes on something fresh before returning to my mountain of other wips. this is just something for me to distract myself with this weekend, so don’t be offended if i don’t fulfill your request. hand to god, i have a flea’s commitment.
+ a note on palestine: i won’t be posting any of these fics until after the strike ends, which is the bare minimum. i am looking for trustworthy places to find links to inform and donate that i can add to my masterlist asap. ❤️🍉
rules below —
who i write — i write for joel mostly. BUT would happily try writing din, javi p, dieter, jack (whiskey) daniels, or marcus pike
rules are pretty basic — nothing involving ageplay, incest (stepcest is not a HARD no itd just have to be a worthy enough request), scat, rape, or breeding/pregnancy. pls respect these boundaries! otherwise ill let you know if anything i am sent makes me uncomfortable 🤎 as far as things that don’t make me uncomfortable but i wouldn’t excel at writing include male readers.
specific kinks i gravitate to include — daddy kink & dd/lg, bondage, spanking, body writing, degradation, praise, manhandling, dom/sub, anal, ass eating/rimming (m or f receiving), cnc*, pet play, boot kink/boot riding & licking, thigh riding, nipple play, exhibitionism, sadomasochism, marking, dumbification, feet*, and piss*
fyi — i typically do better with things that lend themselves to any kind of plot! it lets me figure out the dynamics between characters. i love a good forbidden relationship or enemies to lovers
* — kinks id like to dabble in but might not excel at writing
#🫀 vetty’s musings#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller smut#javier peña smut#din djarin smut#dieter bravo smut#marcus pike smut#agent whiskey smut
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IM LIVING FOR ALL THE JAVI P CONTENT YOU GOT COMING UP 😳😳 the best friends to lovers????? Please give it to me I’ll eat it up 🤩 and I LOVE to do research on things to write about them, as you mentioned you got a req coming up, may I ask what’s it about? 🤭 I completely agree on the other hand about what you said with fandoms and COD, it’s normal to feel burned by a fandom you’ve written for exclusively for so long, take your time and please don’t hesitate to talk to us if you feel like you need to. We love you and love your fics that you bless us with 🤎
omg well I think you’ll like the best friends one cause they start not friends > then best friends who flirt (and they set like a codeword) > and then more than friends. it’s been different to write as I don’t do a lot of best friends stuff — and I haven’t done it with him. so it’s so fun!
of course, the request is for a hearing impaired reader, and I wanna make sure I’ve done my research as it came from anon, and make sure I’m considering things from all angles and being sensitive etc. but I have a plot, and a very nice Javi paired with them, just need to do a bit more of my research!
aww thank you! I don’t feel burned out as much as just not finding the creative juices flowing as much - which is likely burn out hahaha. but I’m not saying I’m not gonna write for cod, just not for that pairing for a while. thank you for loving my work, and being so kind and appreciative, it’s really nice to hear!
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Bendecido
pairing: Javier Peña x Fem!Reader
summary: Javier and the terrible, no good, very bad day (and how you now might be his reminder of better days)
word count: 4.8k
warnings & tags: post season 3 and lovestruck Javi, fluff, just extreme sweet goodness, light sexual allusions but even with that my work is 18+ only mdni
a/n: I’ve been having a tough time & just needed to write something sweet and tender and thought Javi deserves some of that too or maybe we all just do. the title of this is from the juanes song of the same name that inspired this. thank you so much for reading! also a sweet thank you to @skeletoncowboys & @lowlights for everything always
For a Friday, Javi thinks it has to be one of the shittiest he’s seen in a while.
He’s already wondering if he might be fucking cursed.
First he spilled coffee all over himself this morning. After that his trip to the hardware store to just get one item for his dad turned into an hour long hunt with the piece of shit hardware store owner Javier swears is the devil incarnate. Then once he returned home to finish up some last minute chores, Javi caught his finger on the fence gate latch and it hurt so damn bad.
And the only thing that has been getting him through this damn ridiculous day?
Knowing he finally is going on a date with you tonight.
And not just any type of date, he’s doing this one right because it’s with you.
Jesus, you’re special. Javier knew it from the first time he saw you at the bar here in Laredo and you snorted at his corny joke. You rolled your eyes of course, already seeing right through him like he was a damn crystal glass.
But he likes that about you.
There’s honestly so much he likes about you.
It’s why he wants to do this first date right. Because shit, he can’t even remember the last time he had a true first date.
“Don’t forget to pick up flowers.” Pop repeats for the third time and Javi sighs annoyed.
“I know Pop, I know.”
Chucho now sighs understanding to step back. Yes Javi knows he might be letting the nerves get to him, but he does appreciate his dad’s well meant support. Before he leaves, Pop pats his shoulder firmly with a fond warm smile.
“Enjoy tonight mijo, you deserve it.” Then Chucho adds-
“You deserve to be happy again.”
The words weight more than Javi can put his finger on. He can’t help but nod appreciatively at his dad.
“Thanks Pop.”
His Friday can only get better now.
When he arrives at the flower shop by the ranch, Javi can’t even be upset it’s closed. Because he proudly says fuck it and simply drives to your place. And the minute he shows up to your place and you greet him at the door, you brighten his day ten fold.
You’re beautiful, looking so pretty and dressed up that his heart skips over itself. 
Javier has to stop from leaning down and kissing you as if it’s the most natural way to greet you, as if he’s always been doing this. Him showing up to take you out, admire how gorgeous you are, and just get knocked out at how lucky he is to be by your side.
Or maybe that’s just what Javier hopes for. That this is the consecration, the start of many more dates with so many sweet moments in between.
“You ready to go?” Javi calmly asks, trying to hide how giddy he truly is. He’s here, with you, and he doesn’t wanna fuck it up.
“Yeah, let’s go.” You smile and it illuminates him from the inside out.
With that he drives you to the restaurant.
He picked this place the same day you agreed to go on a date with him a week ago. He made the reservation that night because he knew how stupidly lavish it was.
The most elegant and fanciest restaurant in town was a daunting one. It’s why he’s in a stuffy blazer and too tight dress shoes. But for you? He wants this. He wants to wine and dine you like the lovely treat you are. Besides, a fancy first day is classic. This feels like it’s the best way to start whatever this is on the right path. He knew it couldn’t go wrong.
Except apparently when it can.
“I’m sorry sir,” the hostess sighs sadly for the second time. “But we’ve checked twice and there isn’t a reservation for Peña anywhere.”
“Are you sure?” Javi is about to scream, maybe even beg. He can’t believe this.
“Is there even a spot at the bar open?” He’s getting desperate. Panic leaks out of his voice like a broken dam he can’t stop.
The hostess frowns, shaking her head. “I’m afraid not. We’re a packed house tonight.”
On a Friday night of course they’d be packed as hell. And of course this would happen.
“Javi, it’s okay.” Suddenly your hand gently rests against his back and your voice floats out a comforting balm. You effortlessly become a steady lifeline.
“Come on, let’s try and figure something else out.”
Javier lets you guide him out of the restaurant like a deflated balloon.
Back in his truck, the most bone aching defeated sigh leaves him as he rubs his face in his hands. There’s no way any of the other upscale restaurants Javi has in mind will have availability this late.
Something inside him starts crumbling. He should’ve known this day was cursed to crap and just rescheduled.
A piece of him wonders if this is the universe telling him he doesn’t deserve an actual sweet normal relationship. Like all the bad shit he’s done finally has cultivated into this bad cloud of some twisted form of karmic punishment and Javi can’t even argue with its arrival.
You’re too good, too dang smart and lovely for him.
This might be the universe just reminding him of that.
“Javier,” your voice floats out a concerned whisper. “Javi, please talk to me.”
When he turns to look at you, he’s mentally kicking himself for making you this upset. Even if you do look adorable with your soft endearing eyes, he doesn’t want to worry you this much.
“I’m sorry cariño,” he reassures you as his hand moves to rest on top of yours. “This night…this day has just been shit. You deserve better.”
“Better?” You ask a bit confused.
“Yeah. You deserve a good first date. Not this.” Javi mutters disappointed.
A moment passes in the stillness of his truck.
“Do you…want to take me home?” Your voice comes out small and Javi swears he catches an underlying thread of disappointment.
“If you want.” He leaves the final decision up to you.
“Javi,” you squeeze his hand and now stare directly at him. A delicate seriousness settles among your lovely features. “I’m sorry this day was hard for you. And I understand if you’re tired and want to reschedule. But…”
But?
“I’m still open to see if we can figure something out tonight.” Your voice floats hopeful and light, a delicate olive branch reaching out to him. Javi swears he feels his mouth drop open a bit in surprise.
“You still wanna go out tonight?” He doesn’t even recognize his own stunned voice.
“Of course! And with you, definitely.” You grin playfully and it sparks a crawl of something warm against his neck.
“Are you sure?” He offers you one final out, like he’s trying to bargain with a damn narco.
“Yes Javi I’m sure!” You laugh. “Now come on, I’m hungry. Let’s get something to eat!”
His heart flutters at how warm your voice is and he squeezes your hand.
“Alright grumpy pants. Let’s get you some food before you chew off my arm.” He teases playful and you cry out without any malice as a smile tugs at your lips.
God he’s already down so bad.
It’s why he’s only thinking about how good your perfume smells in his car, how his hand still feels so warm from holding yours. Javi is so caught up in your presence that he doesn’t even let his nerves get to him.
Except when he arrives at the spot.
The parking lot stretches out among a small cluster of closed shops. Cars are already parked in various spots and in the distance, his plan for tonight glows.
“Okay,” he begins cautiously taking off his seat belt. “I can argue how I think this place is honestly one of the best damn places in town. But, I get if this… might not be your thing or what you had in mind for a first date.”
His eyes rapidly whip to your face to gauge your reaction.
Your eyes stare out from the window and Javi holds his breath. He waits for this day to hit the final nail in the coffin with you wanting to go home.
“You brought me to a food truck?” Your voice sounds intrigued and Javi wonders if maybe you’re staying this composed for his sake.
“…yes.” He hesitantly replies.
“Oh hell yeah!” That’s when you answer so effervescent, so excited, that it colors your voice and dances across your face. Javi swears you’ve never looked more beautiful.
Your eyes sparkling flicker to his. “Alright, let’s go!”
His heart flies out of his ass but in the best damn way. He scrambles out of his seat and rushes to open the door for you. He even slides his blazer off to keep you warm in the cool late Laredo evening air.
The music swirls to greet you and him with buoyant rhythm. Javi tells you about how he and Pop have been coming here for years, that’s it’s a favorite spot of theirs.
Javi holds your hand in line the entire time.
“Oo, Peñita! Who’s your cute new friend?” Marco, the man who runs the window, wiggles his eyebrows curiously and Javier wants to shut the window on the old man’s face.
“Did you bring a date here?!” Marco's curiosity spikes even more as he soaks in yours and Javi’s fancy attire.
Before Javi can bark at Marco to shut up, you surprisingly jump in and answer.
“He did!” You sound proud, so proud that your voice clutches Javi’s heart. Marco cackles an amused laugh and winks at you. Then he tunes to Javi and grins wide.
“I like this one.”
Me too, Javi thinks. Maybe more than he can admit even to himself.
Now Javi can’t help but watch you take the first bite. It might be weird. He knows this. But shit, he's nervous.
Sauce pools by your cheek. Your eyes light up and you beam brighter than all the damn neon lights illuminating the parking lot.
“Holy fuck, this is amazing.” You cover your mouth from the last bit of chewing but he honestly wouldn’t even care if you spoke with your mouth full. Because right now? You really are the most beautiful force on this damn earth.
On the hood of his truck, with his blazer around your shoulders, bathed in the fluorescent glow, Javi thinks his world melts to focus simply on you.
You and him stay in that parking lot for hours. Laughing and exchanging stories that range from the funniest holiday memories to worst date experiences.
“This…isn’t one of those bad dates right?” Javier can’t help but ask, nervous again like a damn school boy praying his crush likes him back.
You hum playfully and even pretend to be in deep thought.
“Well, so far it’s going great.” You admit light and Javi’s heart drops a bit.
“So far?” He asks as casual as he can.
“Yeah,” you begin. “I mean, just between you and me, it’s actually one of the best. Might be a top five actually. But you know what will make it the best ever?”
“What?” Javi hates how quickly he asks. You grin so big it crinkles your eyes. You nudge your face to the truck.
“If we split one of those ice cream sundaes I’ve been seeing everyone walk around with.”
Javi laughs, so warm and true that he feels it in his damn chest. He doesn’t hesitate to push himself off the truck he’s been leaning on.
“For you cariño, I’ll get you two.”
Your laughter carries Javier all the way to order at the window and even all the way back to your place. Your hand stays in his the entire time he walks you to the door. Something echoes in him, a small ache of a thing, upset that he has to leave you.
In the quiet space of your apartment door, Javi whispers out your name.
“Thanks…for making tonight great. Sorry if it wasn’t what you thought it to be.” He adds still feeling a bit of shame for not giving you the elegant first date he had in mind.
“I get it and it’s okay. But honestly, I think it turned out way better than expected.” You beam.
“Yeah?” Javi asks soft.
“Yeah.” You smile back beautifully.
Javi can’t help it. His hand gently cradles your face and his thumb strokes your cheek.
He hasn’t felt this way about anyone in so long. He hasn’t been caught up in someone’s orbit this fast.
So when he watches your eyes soften as they flicker to his lips, he leans down and kisses you like you’ll float away. Because he’s worried you will. You’re just so good and he doesn’t know how much time he will have with you. So he wants to stay caught up in your atmosphere for as long as he can.
Immediately he tastes the lingering sweetness on your lips of the ice cream you kept playfully stealing scoops away from him. Then he realizes, underneath that, that delicious sweetness is just you. And you taste so good, like the delicate hope of something special and Javi wants to let it consume him. Your lips are so soft and Javi continues to chase their plush warmth.
“Thank you for tonight Javi.” You whisper soft and genuine against his lips. He kisses you again.
“You too baby.” After that Javi floats back home on cloud nine.
When he goes to grab the drink he kept from dinner, he finds a receipt from tonight tucked into the other cup holder.
His name is scribbled on it and Javi’s heart jumps.
When he opens the receipt he finds a note.
“Thanks again for tonight! I really did have so much fun, can't wait to see more of your secret food spots!”
Javi knew he was falling for you so bad. But now here he is getting tripped up over how much he likes your handwriting. He's even getting weak over the sweet little heart you drew.
Yeah, you really did taste like a sweeter tomorrow…
“Whoever said you don’t get to eat at your wedding I hate that they were right and I want to fight them.”
Javi snorts amused at your huffy comment then kisses your bare shoulder.
“I’m being serious Javier! We should’ve taken a plate or something to go!” You try to sound aghast but it’s hard, especially when your new husband continues kissing up your neck. You giggle in his arms.
After running around the reception hall the entire night earlier, to Javier deciding to celebrate the minute you and him stepped into the hotel room, your legs are practically jello. However, you welcome this exhaustion with a coy pleased grin.
“We could order room service.” Your husband offers while he tenderly kisses your jaw. The two of you are tangled in the afterglow of exhaustion and pure newlywed marital bliss.
“It’s one in the morning my love, you know it’s too late.” You sigh defeated as you pray maybe there’s a bag of chips or something in your travel bag.
“I can go get us something.” Javi suggests. Although the temptation of a delicious late night drive through dinner sounds heavenly, you don’t want to get out of this bed or see him leave.
You twist in Javi’s arms and cling to him as if to lock him to you.
“No, I’m fine. You know I’m just being…a little grumpy.” You mutter out and Javi smirks against your forehead.
“A brat. You’re being a brat.” Javi clarifies with a bright tone.
“No!” You argue back. “I’m just grumpy from being hungry.”
“Uh huh.” Javi says unconvinced.
“Hey, I’m a Peña now. That means I have to work on my cute grumpy pout so I can compete with yours.” You tease, leaning back in Javi’s arms to grin up at him.
You expect a semi classic Javi complaint about him not being grumpy, about him not wanting you to be grumpy. But instead his molten eyes stare down at you with something achingly tender that sweeps you up in a landslide.
“Damn right you’re a Peña now.” His voice croaks, thick and beautifully weighted down by unwavering adoration.
He swoops down and kisses you, passionate and so loving it seeps into your soul. You think this might spark another round until Javi sighs against your lips. Your poor husband, he is tired too and you know it.
It’s why he kisses you soft now once, twice, until he draws you into his chest again.
“You know,” Javier begins lightly. “I like it when you act like a brat sometimes.” He lightly squeezes your bare ass making you squeak.
“Naughty, naughty.” You teasingly chide him.
“I just state the facts baby.” Javi simply shrugs casual, unbothered, and you laugh.
That ignites him to pepper playful kisses all across your face and your laughs bubble louder.
“Besides, I’m your husband.” Javier’s voice almost comes out a low growl. “I’m always gonna take care of you, especially when you wanna act like a brat.”
His voice is rich, begging you to drown in him. You pull your handsome husband’s face to yours and kiss him again. It’s all you can do and you find it’s all you want to do. You discover there is something simple, unwaveringly strong, that knocks you breathless just knowing you’re kissing the love of your life, your husband.
You can’t even stay grumpy even with how hungry you are.
“Wait here.” Javi mutters your lips. Then suddenly he untangles himself from you and slides out of bed.
Curiously from the warm sheets you watch him slip on his pants. He walks over to the side of the hotel room where all his bags and other things clutter together.
He simply grabs the brown bag folded and sitting unsuspectingly on the counter. Now you sit up, intrigued at what’s inside. Javi places the mysterious bag beside you as he takes a seat on the plush mattress.
“Are there snacks inside?” You can’t help but sound hopeful.
Your husband simply shrugs casual, almost bored. You narrow your eyes at him but then greedily scramble to open the bag up.
What’s inside greets you like the warmest friend. A few plates, plenty of napkins, a small bag filled with various to go items and then a couple of hearty rolled up aluminum treats, all get poured out onto the bed.
“What’s this?!” You can’t help but exclaim in both confusion and adoration at your husband now helping you set up your makeshift table on the sheets.
“Just grabbed us something earlier.” Javi says casually.
He continues to be so casual about this, not even meeting your eyes.
But you know your husband.
This is a response to being so overwhelmed by all the emotions swirling around that he doesn’t want anyone to see how greatly it affects him. Because what your sweet husband sometimes doesn’t want the world to know is how deeply he does feel. But you understand just how much Javi loves, how much he can get swept up in his true golden heart.
And right now, that is evident in the meal laid out before you.
“You got us food for later.” You say the words so gently as Javi grabs a few drinks from the mini fridge.
“Knew we might be hungry.” Now he grins so boyish as he shrugs again.
“Well thank you.” You tell him earnestly as you slide out of bed to slip on your robe. Of course you scurry over to kiss all over your wonderful husband’s face who soaks it up with an amused grin.
“Come on cariño, let’s eat.” Javi softly kisses your forehead and pats your ass softly.
There on the hotel bed you sit down to enjoy your first true meal with your husband.
Then you take the first bite and your eyes go wide.
You snap your face towards Javier who simply pours out a whole salsa cup on his torta.
“Javi…”
“Hm?” He doesn’t even look up at you as he looks for a lime slice.
“Did you get us food from our truck?”
Our truck. You can say that because it has become yours and Javier’s.
Anytime you didn’t feel like cooking or even after bad days at work, the truck was the first place offered to go to. Of course the food was delicious every time and you loved becoming friendly with all the workers who relentlessly joined you in teasing poor Javier.
But if you think about it, the food truck had transformed into something more. It now stands a strange but beautiful concrete evidence of you and Javi growing with each other since that very first date all those years ago.
“Well yeah. Like you said, it’s our place.” Javi says simply. Your throat tightens heavy with adoration.
“And besides,” he suddenly adds. “It’s the spot we went to on our first day. Had to get it for tonight.”
Earlier, when the exact moment came when you were officially announced as husband and wife, you thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest into millions of bright confetti pieces.
Now you don’t know why, but this moment overwhelms your heart just as much.
Maybe even a bit more if you were being honest. Mainly it’s because it feels so much in so little. It’s Javier wanting to take care of you that he got food for later. It’s a visual representation of just how far you and Javier have come wrapped up in the most simple to go bag.
That first date, you were so worried and heartbroken seeing him so upset. Now here you were, married to the man who on that same first date playfully joked about fighting you for the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae
You can’t help but blink back tears before you wipe them away.
Of course your dear wonderful husband notices as he slides closer to you on the bed.
“Honey, what’s wrong?! I can go get you something else if you want. I won’t be upset I promise-”
“No.” You laugh through the tears as you wipe more away.
“No baby, this is perfect.” You mean every word as you finally turn to look at your handsome man, your Texas sunrise who’s brought so much tenderness and love into your life.
“I love you.” You croak happily.
“Love you too, mi amor. You sure you’re okay?” Javi thankfully draws you into his arms and presses a kiss to the top of your head.
This sweetly grumpy heart of gold man you can’t believe is yours.
“I am. Thank you.” With one extra thank you kiss, you readily jump in to feast. You consume the late night meal through drying tears and the most tender warmth blooming through your chest.
As you start to clean up you spot the folded receipt tapped to the other side of the brown bag.
Your name is scribbled in the familiar handwriting of your husband. With greedy fast hands, you happily scramble to open it.
“To my wife,
Thank you for making me the happiest man every day but especially today. Here’s to more food truck dates
I love you”
You remember when you had left a note for him on that first date.
You had done it because Javi had seemed so upset about the restaurant cancellation. You just wanted to reassure him that the new route your date took only seemed to make you fall for him more. You even had written the note in secret when Javi went to grab you more napkins.
Now here he is leaving you a note just as sneaky and twice as sweet.
You don’t care that you’re exhausted or that you and Javi might fall asleep any moment now.
Quickly sliding off the bed you rush to Javier’s side as he cleans up in the bathroom. You embrace him tight.
“Honey?” His voice even weary and tired more than ever still sounds so comforting.
“Thanks for taking me to that food truck.” You kiss his bare arm as you snuggle into him as close as you can.
“Nah, I’m the one who needs to thank you. You were the one who agreed to go with me. Can’t even believe you even agreed to marry my stupid ass today.” Javi snickers a soft tired chuckle and you reverently kiss his warm skin.
“Easiest decision ever.” It was. It is and will always be the easiest decision to pick Javi every and any time.
Javier abandons whatever he’s doing to completely wrap you in his arms, holding you tight, strong and true.
In your husband’s embrace, exhaustion finally catches up to you. Your mind melts under the whirlwind of the day, and from the overwhelming love you have. You don’t even realize you’re being tucked into bed until Javier turns off the light by his nightstand.
“Night baby.” You slur half asleep barely staying awake.
“G’night cariño, get some sleep.” Javi kisses you goodnight. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
And every day after that.
The promise of getting to greet every day with Javier by your side eases you into the most peaceful and beautiful sleep.
You’re still knocked out cold when Javi wakes up the next morning.
He can’t help but snicker at the sight of you. Practically hogging all the covers, lightly snoring, and now curled on his pillow, you’re his favorite sight to wake up to.
As he starts going through all the shit he brought back from the wedding a soft knock comes at the hotel door. Freezing with every caution he would’ve used at a drug raid, Javi stares at you waiting and worried you’ll move.
You barely make a sound and that again makes him almost snicker.
At the door stands a hotel worker with a small and beautiful bouquet of flowers.
“They were sent in for you and your new bride.” He warmly explains and Javi smirks.
That first date he forgot the flowers, but this time he knew he wouldn’t. It’s why he ordered these in before to make sure.
When Javi pulls out a few bills from his wallet to leave a tip, he cant help but spot the white paper still folded in his wallet. His lips already twitch wanting to grin like the lovesick husband he is now.
He quietly places the flowers on your nightstand so you’ll be surprised to see them when you wake. Then he pulls out the white paper.
It’s faintly faded and he refuses to throw it away. Just like how he didn’t want to throw it away those few years ago when you first left the receipt in his truck’s cup holder.
Javi unfolds it with a delicate touch. The message is still the same. Your little heart still knocks him breathless. It still brings the goofiest smile on his face and fills his body with an incredible amount of love he never knew he could have for another.
As if on cue, the sheets start to rustle. Then comes the softest sigh from you almost like a siren’s song luring him to your side. And who is he to deny you?
Besides, he’s already excited about celebrating your first morning together as husband and wife.
As he slides back into the sheets, into the warmth that radiates beautifully from you, Javi thinks that even on the worst day, it will never truly be a bad day because of you.
He can’t help but think of that first date and how awful that day had been. Then you just effortlessly transformed it into something damn magical he still can’t believe he witnessed.
His mind always goes to the image of you in his blazer, looking so gorgeous in that elegant outfit, leaning against his truck as you giggled.
Javi might not have known it, might not have fully processed it, but in that moment his life became tied to yours. To find someone as understanding as you, who even back then was so eager to face whatever changes, whatever stupid hiccups life threw at him, he can’t believe how lucky he is that he found you.
Maybe it’s because some part of him is still in that parking lot. He’s still in his truck under the neon lights waiting for you to leave him any minute. He’s done so many terrible things, probably doesn’t even deserve you, yet you never left.
You simply stayed by his side, firmly even told him that’s where you felt you were always meant to be.
His sweet stubborn little love, his wife.
Javi knows he’s the lucky one who gets to stay by your side. You’re not just his good luck charm to beat any kind of awful as fuck bad days, but you’re his sunrise. You’re his tomorrow and forever.
And for that, he can’t help but thank that fateful shitty Friday that led him here. 
"bendecido" en inglés: blessed
#he is…truly my forever beloved and this narcos rewatch has reminded me I should never doubt my Javi P heart 😭#anyway I’m terrified this is too soft and not typical for Javi but I just needed to write this…maybe even just for my sake#Javier Peña x reader#javi peña#javi p 🤎
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ok but this is newlywed Javier Peña on an evening date during yours & his tropical honeymoon
#this is the sneaky picture you take of him when he’s talking about the hotel or something and he just looks so good#Javi P 🤎
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oooh hi my friend, could I please ask about Javi P mermaid ? 👀💖🧜♂️
Dear J!!! Omg im so sorry im just getting back to this now 😭 so im just gonna keep the WIP Wednesday vibes going up on a ✨Thursday ☺️✨LOL
Also thank you so much for asking about this strange and sweet little Javi P fic 🥹💕🐠✨
Javi P and Mermaid!Reader or aka some good old fashioned forbidden love with a large side of Javi having a existential crisis about loving this mythical being he didn’t even believed existed while we simply are just swimming around this handsome human with stars in our eyes ✨
So it’s mainly inspired by my trips to the Texas coastline and thinking how murky the water was sometimes i imagined there just HAD to be mermaids hiding in there lol plus I’ve never done a mermaid fic and for mer-may approaching I thought why not dip my toes in the water (sorry I had to make the pun)
And also - Javi P isn’t a Pedro boy we often see in supernatural situations yet I really one do believe he’s one of the best to explore in more fantasy/magical/supernatural elements and this smacks him face to face with that!
There’s a part of me that wanted to go a more angsty and tragic route with this but I think ultimately us and Javi deserve the sweet fantasy fairy tale of your dreams sometimes ya know??
But thank you again my dear J I’m leaving you sweet seashell trinkets and hope you have a beautiful rest of your day!! 🪼🐬🐚🪸🦀💕✨
#I hope this made sense omg bshxgsysjsos im sorry i ramble so much 😭#thank you again!!#J’s tag 🎮✨#Javi P 🤎#asks and such things 💌
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*stomps my little foot* I WANNA HEAR ABOUT HUSBAND JAVI P AND WHY HE MAKES THE BEST HUSBAND
ERI!!! ITS BECAUSE HE IS AND WE DESERVE TO DISCUSS IT!!
There’s a reason why he is tied for first in my heart against Din as my favorite pedro boy and it’s because he’s just…so good and is peak husband material and I am here to proclaim it with my entire heart!!
So I’ve been holding onto this ask because the perfect timing of you asking about husband Javi P even before I event sent you my one shot that includes husband Javi P??? Like?? We are on an IMMACULATE WAVELENGTH I SWEAR!!!
Also because I feel so dang serious about this I am going to full depth like it’s one of my dissertation papers and I apologize SO MUCH for how long this got lmaooo so…let’s get into it lol
(yes I’m using a pic of Pedro at the golden globes but I wanted to start off with this off because this look…this is Javi on his wedding day. I don’t know why but I feel it in my soul)
In Defense of Husband Javier Peña
When that lovely poll was making its rounds around on which Pedro boy has the biggest want for a housewife I had to vote for him… I just had to. And yeah it might be because I’m a Javi Girl at heart but it really is because I feel Javi would just be the most lovesick man in the world knowing he’s married, knowing he’s someone’s husband. He would treasure and cherish his spouse with his very last breath.
I imagine the possible base of how he views marriage comes from seeing his parents. Knowing how much love he witnessed built between them I feel is what Javi strives to have. But, he possibly just believes he doesn’t deserve that because he views himself as this unworthy corrupt guy who’s done bad things.
And while yes he’s made mistakes that doesn’t make him bad or evil or even a bad husband!!
When he rescues Helena the first thing he does is take off his vest to cover her. He’s tender and speaks to her with such compassion. Then later when they rescue Christina, there’s this moment when he touches her arm and then pulls her closer in the helicopter to almost protect her that just says so much!
He’s comforting and tender, probably even more than he lets on! Heck there’s even that small moment during that tense scene at the checkpoint with los pepes when he fondly pats Hugo Jr’s cheek in a reassuring manner. There’s just so many moments we see how soft he is!
So when you apply to the idea of him as a husband, can you imagine just how generous and wonderfully tender he’d be?
He probably couldn’t keep his hands off you!!! From playful winks (which we see him do so many times and they make my heart flutter every damn time) to simply wanting you in his arms, he’s a physical touch as a love language husband for sure.
Yeah he might miss a few anniversary dates or might forget to pick up a some items from the grocery store but he would extraordinarily caring and tender. And he’d be your rock in the storm and I stand by this.
(And yes I’m going to put this under a read more because I just…I have so many thoughts on this)
He’s seen so much, yet stays so kind. He would be by your side through thick and thin because that’s the type of man he is.
Alongside that, i feel having that unwavering loyal love again comes from his parents. I sadly imagine his mom passed away from an illness. And with that in mind, for Javi to see his dad stay by his mama’s side even if it got bad…I believe that became the cornerstone of how he views not just a marriage but a true deep kind of love.
He would be the exact same way with his spouse.
For better or for worse just as those vows say. And even if they didn’t Javi would just be there for you because that’s love, that’s what it is at its purest form for him.
Then I think about this one line Murphy says when Javi is about to leave back to the states. I can’t quote it exactly but it’s along the lines of “no American had given more” than Javi. He was there from the start, stayed in when it got bad and even showed how much he was willing to give of himself to fight. I know this can be argued of him being a possible workaholic but instead I think it goes back to my theory that he’s just truly so loyal.
He’s unwavering and sticks with it because that’s the type of man he is, that’s the type of husband he would be. He’s the type of husband who holds you as long as you need to when you cry, who would probably move heaven and hell for you because you’re it for him.
Javi was almost someone’s husband (which is a whole other tangent I could get on) and he probably might think maybe that time for him has passed. Or maybe he thinks because he’s done so much shit, seen so much, Javier again views himself as damaged goods who just isn’t husband material.
There’s that moment when he looks at Lorraine and her family that he pauses. He stares at them for just a second but it’s enough that we see him take this moment. I know it can be argued that it’s him just taking in the path Lorraine’s life has taken, but to me the look in his eyes is one of longing. Like he’s staring at something just out of his reach or that he’s not meant to have.
With that yearning, Javi seems like the type longing to be with someone who says yes Javier I pick you every time, I will stand by your side and be with you through it all the same way you would be for me, I see you, your scars, the darkness you hold onto, and your pure golden heart that means well and I will love you…
So when he finds you, realizes he’s gets to have that, gets to be your husband - he’s yours for life!!!! He would just get so overwhelmed at finally having that true companionship.
Yeah he would be grumpy and maybe tease you from time to time but he would be the husband who drives at midnight to go pick you up fries and a shake because you mentioned you had the munchies. He would face any of your demons with you by your side.
He’s the man who wears his wedding ring proud and probably sees you as his best friend. He’s loyal, kind, bit grumpy but tender with the biggest heart and he would hold your hand even when the sky is falling.
Just…Husband Javier Peña forever
#eri thank you for letting me ramble about this man#i just really love Javi so much#javi p 🤎#Eri’s tag 🐝✨#asks and such things 💌#javier peña x reader#long post
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MORE SPOOKY QUESTIONS BECAUSE IM UNHINGED
im really really digging your hc about javi p being respectful towards spirits and lighting candles and having his house cleanse. i just LOVE it. i think his mama was probably very superstitious and he grew up hearing all the stories from her.
OKAY but imagine javi dating a bruja !!!! and he gets to refamiliarize himself with the culture and even joins in with you whenever you're doing witchy stuff <3
This ask came for my throat and you know what you are DOING!!! This is gonna get long so I am already apologizing before hand omg I’m so sorry…
So I think about this photo all the damn time and it used to be my phone background for the longest time and it’s because there’s so much here
But for this ask I wanna point out the rosary and the saint card beside it, I’ve tried so many times to zoom in and see who’s on the card but I think it’s a simple card of La Virgen which would match with the rosary
But okay…I know this isn’t for everyone but for me, especially with the Mexican/Tejano culture I was raised with, there’s this blend of folk traditions and the actual religious belief that I saw first hand like…having a specific Saint you turn to for headaches, my grandma teaching me how to do a egg limpia cleanse when I was little and how you pray over it
I love to think Javi maybe experienced the same too!! Like having his mama pray to St Anthony for lost items around the house or kissing him and Chucho goodbye three times cause that’s the lucky number
And then…seeing the rosary and the prayer card I can see Papa Chucho or mainly Mama Peña maybe falling into that folk type of beliefs and passing it onto Javi
Javi would understand a lot of the little traditions like not sweeping with the broom you use outside because bringing it inside is bad luck or having a certain candle you light when you need extra help with a tough situation
And, I don’t wanna speak too much on a specific type of bruja reader because brujeria is such a wide and variety filled beautiful craft some of it I know might not even fall in this type of folk category but mainly…
There’s so much Javi would just simply respect and that alone is so attractive. He’s a man who might not full understand or even believe but Javi (I feel) believes in love and believes in people and to him that’s where he puts his faith - so whatever his family showed him, or whatever you believe or practice, he’s believing in that, in love and in you
(That maybe didn’t make any sense and I really did ramble omfg I hate my ass)
#I’m sorry if this isn’t too spooky but I think it’s bcs this is the everyday for me!#like lighting candles in the morning or calling my grandma to hear what kind of dreams she had and we both discuss them over morning coffee#there’s just a beautiful range of how the craft is practiced and manifest and I think whatever way it comes Javi is like#yup I’m accepting it whatever you want bb#this ask got away from me again I hate my ass so much#Javi P 🤎#asks and such things 💌
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okay so this ISN'T spooky...but...but would love a drabble or literally ANYTHING about sweaty javi p in that pink shirt because that scene lives rent free in my head
ME RUNNING TO ANSWER THIS ASK
ERI!! YOU ARE SO TRUE!! SWEATY PINK SHIRT JAVI P! HE DESERVES ALL THE THOUGHTS!!! 📢
Because goodness…look at him?
First off the color compliments his skin tone and undertones so beautifully? Like Javi needs to be in more pinks/magentas cause he looks so romantic and also damn gorgeous
And okay…I’m exposing my ass but that shirt is what I picture when I think of how of our first time you run into him at a Laredo festival or even a farmers market?
He’s just sweaty and even sort of casual in his shirt that it feels so Texas I can’t explain it but it is.
This is the shirt he wears when offering you his sunglasses because it’s hot as hell and our Javi is a Texas gentleman! He jokes how his eyes are already shot to hell so he’d rather you to wear them.
He’d be sweaty and a little self conscious but endearing about it and make jokes the entire time like-
“Shit with this heat, I’m gonna be turning into Texas BBQ out here!”
He’d split an agua fresca with you and guess your favorite flavor the entire time. He even manages to steal some ice cold watermelon for you and you joke he’s your sweaty knight in shining armor.
And when the warm sunset has melted into a warm night sky, you have to bid him goodbye. You decide to hug him and yeah he’s self conscious cause he’s thinking he’s maybe not at his best but it’s a memory you’ll always remember because it is his best.
Because yeah he is sweaty but he smells like a man. He smells like pure Javi and it’s attractive as hell to see a man not hidden behind his cologne and simply existing in the Texas heat. It’s raw and beautiful in its own way you never thought you’d appreciate.
And when he kisses you a soft sweet goodbye? That taste of him, pure salty and pure Javi goodness lingers on your lips for days and you never want it to leave..
Or maybe that’s just me but okay that’s all
Anyway TEAM SWEATY TEE JAVI!!!
#eri eri eri I want to carve my soul out and have it spell your name#IM GONNA GO FERAL NOW BRB#Javi P 🤎#Eri’s tag 🐝✨#asks and such things 💌
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🎶 baby boy, you stay on my mind fulfill my fantasies
I think about you all the time I see you in my dreams 🎶
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in my mind this is young college freshman Javier Peña & I wish I could explain more but it just is
#a young kid pursuing criminal psychology at a&m and he’s so charming and sweet and gets homesick often#but he apparently heads home and gets engaged and you lose track of each other until 10 years later#like that’s what this photo conjures up for me I’m SORRY#Erika shut up tag#Javi P 🤎
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I need to know more about this: javier peña x mermaid!reader
👀👀👀 please
KATE!! 🥹 omg I’m trying to keep it cool over here but you asking about this little WIP AHHHH im so thankful 🥹💕😭
NOW!!! … javi p x mermaid!reader 👀
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“So uh…you really don’t have, like, an adorable sea creature companion or some shit?” He asks hesitantly but human or not you sense the humor there and you flat out splash him.
Javier snickers out an absolutely magical noise that crinkles his eyes beautifully and you think you’re seeing one of the world’s hidden treasures.
He’s too handsome for his own good, the surface world’s handcrafted temptation for you.
All you can do is sink halfway back into the water by the pier hoping the cool waves bring you back to reality.
-
This is idea is honestly inspired by all my trips heading to the Texas gulf and thinking how murky the water looked sometimes & that just there HAD to be mermaids in there (or maybe I just hoped there would be 😭)
But okay…I’m gonna sound so lame right now..
But our sweet grumpy boy deserves his prince moment! 🌹🥺
Like Marcus P is of course very perfect classic fairy tale prince type man and we love him for that and even Din is very princely in his own ways too but in my heart SO IS JAVI!! And he needs his time to shine 😭
OMFG pls ignore me im so embarrassing RIP
Kate you dear wonder thank you so much again for coming by to ask about this strange little AU I appreciate you so so very much!! 💖💕💗✨
#also this is for all of us babes who played mermaids and now we get to embrace it#Kate thank you again!!! sending you so many air kisses 💋#Javi P 🤎#Kate’s tag 🪁✨#asks and such things 💌
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HIIII LOVELY <33
😇🧸🎶❤️🔥💄 for our beloved angsty grump javier!! if you're not feeling him, then maybe ezra? 🥰
ERIN MY MOON AND STARS HI!! You know I am the weakest Javi girlie so I see his name and I am running back to him without hesitation LOL 😭♥️💕
Javi P Headcanons
😇 A headcanon about their religion/lack thereof
Javi to me is an agnostic, sure he was raised catholic and knows the traditions, knows the prayers, has his late mother’s rosary still but doesn’t believe
one of my favorite headcanons I’ve ever written is this still one that talks about his relationship with religion, specifically with more spiritual/magical aspects of it and I FIRM HOLD ONTO IT!! 🫡
🧸 A headcanon about their childhood
He is an only child but I picture him being raised with many cousins! I also like to think he made friends with all the animals at the ranch and is a secret horse boy lol … also as a Texan boy probably tried football when he was younger but instead enjoyed baseball better and I imagine him playing throughout his high school years (baseball is more of a long game, relies on strategy and a good system which just screams Javi)
🎶 A headcanon about music
A Selena fan who sings No Me Queda Más at the top of his lungs when he’s driving on the dirt roads back home - also his go to karaoke song (if he is forced to sing one) is Hungry Heart by Bruce Springsteen
❤️🔥 A romantic headcanon
Yes he’s big on trying to bring you flowers and your favorite sweet cakes from the local bakery but pure Javi romance is when he shows you the side of the family barn where everyone’s handprints are against the wood, his great grand parents started the tradition and he points out where your hand and name should go and it’s a quietly simple yet immensely deep show of his love and how he sees you a firm set part of his life and family now
💄 An appearance headcanon
Javi once he sees the way your eyes are drawn to his arms and his neck when he wears his short sleeved button up shirts he starts wearing them all the time and it makes him feel so damn good because yeah he knows you admire the way he looks in his suits but to see it’s just this nice short sleeved button up doing it for you? He’s over the moon
#Erin you’re going to drag me back to Javi P and I can’t even be that upset lol 🤡#thank you again beloved I appreciate you so so much 🥺💝#Javi P 🤎#Erin’s tag 🥀✨#asks and such things 💌
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this is modern & no apocalypse Joel, like him on his third date with you after he got a haircut for the big date
#sure I might be back on my Javi p sillies but this photo came up on my Insta and I gasped#bc to me this just screams Joel#Joel 🤎
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