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#If you do Freud at me I will Kill you

chicago-geniza · 1 month

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There are many reasons I've sworn myself to a celibate monkish life but one of them is that objectively my taste in women would lead me to terrible horrible no good very bad places should I pursue it in earnest lmao

#I got kink-shamed by a coworker in leather with a hickey #Lmfaoooo #And he was right to do it!!!!!!#I love when a woman is Older married straight and has objectionable politics #If you do Freud at me I will Kill you

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gamejoypod · 7 months

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IDK about you guys but V.1 Freud's AC has the most intimidating name on the roster in my opinion

There are other confrontational AC names but even the most aggressive ones are still a little showy. Makes sense, you wanna gas up your AC & how well you fight. They're almost sporting in an "all's fair in love, war and mercenary work" kind of way

But LOCKSMITH instantly made me feel like I was in a different kind of danger.

LOCKSMITH isn't going to do a dogfight-dance and pelt my AC with explosives until its functions fail

LOCKSMITH is going to open up my AC's core, rip me out of the cockpit and smear me like a grape on the pavement

The other Mercs are here to Engage With Enemy Combatants As Needed, Freud is here to Kill People

#armored core 6 #ac6 #armored core #joywrite

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emberfrostlovesloki · 6 months

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Freud Said We Should Fuck [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left and Right (@shakespearesdaughters) Center (@hotchs-big-hands)

Prompt: When Aaron makes a Freudian slip on the jet, he and the reader get flushed, and later, once the case is finished, the reader finds him in his office on a lonely Saturday and teases him about it. Aka, when the reader and Hotch do something in his office other than paperwork.

Pairing: Aaron x fem BAU-reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: Fluff/angst/smut

Word Count: 9.9K

A/N: Hi loves! First off, this story is 18+, minors DNI. Please respect this boundary. I’m finally back writing again and I’m so happy about it. However, I feel like it’s going to take me a bit to get back into the swing of things. I had a lot of my AU written and then I just thought it was moving too slow. So I’ve put that on hold for a bit and gone back to what I love smut. I don’t think the sex here is the best I’ve ever written, but I still like it. This idea came about because @silk-spun and I were chatting about Aaron and office sex and I couldn’t stop thinking about it - so naturally I wrote it. Please have a look at the notes before reading as there are some things that some plot points that some readers might want to avoid. I hope you like this and if you do, likes, comments, and replies are appreciated! Content Warnings under the cut. I hope you are having a good week. Love Levi - ❤️

Content Warnings: There are two unsubs mentioned in this fic: The one most talked about is a family annihilator [There are mentions of wives and children being killed, depiction of dead bodies, description of a bloody room, mention of suicide via gun (unsub)] The second unsub kills at random [There are mentions of poisoning, falling to one’s death and drowning (the body is briefly described)] Mention of past trauma and abuse [Hotch] and the mention of an absent father. There is also sex: touching over the clothes, sex in a semi-public setting [Hotch’s office] fellatio, p in v (unprotected] Very slight dom vibes from the reader and Hotch and the slightest mention of a size kink. If I missed any, please let me know.

List with all stories

_y/n_ = your name

_c/t_ = coffee or tea (whichever you prefer)

_u/sf/d_ = up/straight forward/down (depending on height).

_s/l_ = short or long

_kl/s/m_ = knee length/short/mini (pick your favorite skirt length)

_y/f/c/s_ = your favorite color and style (bra)

_y/f/t/f_= your favorite type of food

The team sat in the jet as they moved toward Evansville Indiana. The skilled agents were bantering ideas off of each other, as they normally did. This unsub was very blatant with their modus operandi. As Aaron had debriefed in the conference room an hour earlier with the team and Garcia, he said, “The unsub we’re dealing with allegedly has three distinct personalities. Although I would be hesitant to diagnose anyone with a split personality disorder or DID. Many people with this condition are stigmatized due to the negative stereotypes associated with that name. If our unsub does have this condition, then we work from there. But with what we know now, this might just be a part of the ritual and pattern. The police are adamant that it’s a suspect from a mental hospital, but be wary of this. J.J. I want you to cut this off at the bud as soon as we get to the station. The media liaison nodded and replied, “You got it Hotch. I’ll clear that up and make sure they haven’t come up with any nicknames either. That always gets the press in a stir.” Aaron nodded. There wasn’t time for that kind of coverage right now. The team needed to jump in immediately once they touched down. This unsub had a swift turnaround time, killing in heinous and various ways almost every other night. His signature was that at the body of each victim, the unsub left a note from either the Id, the Ego, or the Superego, and by how killing his victims, the unsub had ‘cured them,’ and how the cure had worked. The killer's notes were reminiscent of Freud’s case notes, detailed and a bit deranged. The methods of death had been drowning, poisoning, being drowned, and most recently a fatal fall from a high cliff on a popular walking trail. _y/n_ had cringed at the sight of the drowned victim’s bloated body. It was blue and purple from its extended time in the water. The poisoned victim didn’t look any better. As was usual with BAU cases, the victims had suffered significantly before their deaths. _y/n_ had asked the group as a whole once the note element came out, “Is this guy serious? I mean, Freud is more infamous than famous at this point. His clients were all wealthy Swiss members of society, and he was ridiculed later in life for changing his theories all the time. I mean, how many Fruedians are still honestly out there?” Spencer happily replied, “In terms of clinical, licensed therapists? I’d say very few. Probably around 0.5 percent at this point. But that doesn’t mean that psychoanalysis isn’t still used in a good deal of therapeutic systems. I mean ‘Talk Therapy’ is the norm in most EBT therapy systems. So although Freud and Heidegger might have faded to obscurity, their theories remain.” Hotch had nodded and said stoically, “Wheels up in thirty. We can continue this discussion on the plane. If the unsub sticks to his pattern. They might have a new victim already.”

Thus the team, plus Penelope were on the plane like normal. Once the jet hit cruising altitude, the team seemed to relax a bit They all fell into their usual clusters, and Hotch observed them. _y/n_, Rossi, and Spencer were continuing the psychological aspect of the case with _y/n_, while Em, Derek, and Garcia talked about the victimology and methods of the murders. Lastly, JJ was writing up a short press brief for the police and the public. Aaron knew we could never be thankful enough for the work that JJ did for the team. She covered their backs more than he could ever imagine. It was hard enough doing the job they did, but having JJ backing them up meant they weren’t smeared in the press even more. Hotch made his way to her. He sat on the seat next to hers and looked over her work. The blond woman handed him a notebook page with her statement from the police force. She said, “This is what I’ve got so far. If you have any more legal or profiler things you’d like me to add, just note them in the margins.” The woman handed him a blue ballpoint pen, and Hotch did his best to look carefully and thoroughly over the short blurb. He added a few police procedural things, but otherwise, it looked good. Aaron pushed the paper back on the small table and said, “Looks good J. I just added a few notes. Let me know when you have the one for the public done, and look it over too.” JJ looked up at him as he stood and said, “You got it Hotch. And I’ll make those corrections after I’m done with this.” Aaron then moved to Em, Morgan, and Garcia. They were looking at a map both on the seat and on Penelope's computer. Derek and Em were pinpointing the sites of the victim's body on the physical map while Garcia did the same on her laptop. The trio was trying to make a geographic profile and also see if the sites were linked to a road, river, or some natural feature. All three victims had been found in parks or locations adjacent to parks. As Hotch looked over the map, Emily said, “Given the natural locations of the dump sites and how well-versed the unsub seems to be with local and national parks in the area, this person may be a game warden or resource officer or something like that. Those positions are often isolating and not well-paid. Maybe the unsub has emotions tied to their work. That they’re not achieving enough, or making enough of an impact?” Hotch nodded at the logic of her statement and said to Garcia, “Once you’ve done that work, Garcia, look up the databases for Park Service workers and Game Wardens and make a preliminary risk. Target those who work in the parks where the victims were found and those that have been having problems at work or have had problems at work in the last two months.” Garcia loved getting directions from Aaron. She always thought that his brain was close to hers, except that he was just the quiet version of her. She smiled and said, “Aye, aye captain. Coming right up.” Aaron gave Garcia a small smile and said, “Thanks Penelope.”

Aaron got up again. Before he moved to the last group, he was going to get a cup of coffee for himself _c/t_ for _y/n_. It was their ritual on the plane now. When they were in the office, _y/n_ got him coffee from the breakroom, and when they were on the jet, he got her drink. Aaron’s and _y/n_ relationship had moved from a strong friendship to a light romance, to, in the last six months, a much more heated and sexual affair. Of course, neither of them could say, and much less do anything while they were at work but show small gestures of affection for the other. Aaron and _y/n_ were both professional and could easily keep their relationship work-coded. That didn’t however, mean that Hotch didn’t think about the things they did off the clock. The sound of _y/n_’s bright laugh had his mind reeling back to last weekend. It had been a lazy Saturday morning at his place. She had mentioned getting a snack from the coffee shop down the street before going on a walk in the park or going to get a new book for Jack, who was currently at Haley’s. Aaron had sleepily said something like, “I think you’re enough of a snack as it is, _y/n_” as he rolled onto his back.

There was a moment of silence before _y/n_ started softly laughing. Hotch moved his eyes to her. He expected her to stop laughing after a minute, but his gaze only had her laughing more loudly. She was nearly in stitches as her mirth overflowed. Hotch, not quite sure what had caused her to be so joyful, poked her side and said, “Alright, I give up. What’s so funny? Is my breath bad or something?” Even as Hotch asked, he couldn’t stop himself from starting to laugh too. This was something unique with _y/n_. She allowed him to open up emotionally in ways that he rarely even had. After _y/n_ had caught her breath she said, “Is that your attempt at dirty talk Hotch? If so you need to take a course.” Aaron scoffed at that and said teasingly, “I’ll make you eat those words _y/n_.” As he finished that sentence, he leaned over her and kissed her. He started lightly but became more intense as _y/n_ ran her tongue over his bottom lip. Soon enough, he was undoing the buttons of her night shift and moving his mouth lazily downward with _y/n_ saying his name breathily every time he nipped her skin lightly with his mouth. His breath was hot on the cool expanse of her body. Aaron realized as he started to make the encounter more intimate and relished in how her body responded to his.

Hotch knew that apart from being with _y/n_, he was about as closed off as human could be, and he knew it. His past as a child had inherently shown him that weakness meant pain and suffering and as hard as he had tried to grow out of that, he still had some of those mental barriers up, and they often rose when he was in situations that dealt with lots of emotions. Often he found himself unable to reciprocate. That was part of the reason that he assumed that he was so good at being a prosecutor and a profiler. People’s emotions, whether they be the unsub’s or the victim’s didn’t cause him to bluster, or lose sight of the bigger picture. He was sympathetic to the victims and listened to them with sincerity, but their pain often didn’t affect him the way it did _y/n_. This was the reason that after he spoke to the various victims, he would direct them over to _y/n_ to talk further. So they could cry unabashedly and have someone to hold them tight as they did so. Often Aaron would catch her eyes as they made the silent trade-off. There was always a silent conversation that happened in these looks. It was Aaron saying, ‘Thank you,’ and _y/n_ responded, ‘I got you.’ With time Aaron had slowly started dropping those barriers with _y/n_. She made him feel more human. More intact with his emotions such as joy and the ability to do the unexpected. Things and emotions which he had hidden inside himself a long time ago. The first time that Aaron had been very open to _y/n_ was the first time that he realized that he might have deeper feelings for _y/n_ than respect or camaraderie.

It had been a difficult case. One of the worst. The unsub had been a family annihilator. The man, Mr. Platheville, was targeting young families with only one child. The madman had killed two mothers and their children leaving the fathers to watch in horror and live with the site of the massacre they had witnessed. The first man they had found was shell-shocked and unable to move. An ambulance and mental health experts had been called for him. The next man had been so angry that Hotch and Derek had to hold the man back from hitting and punching himself or the wall or anyone within striking distance. _y/n_ had watched on with apprehension, trying to calm the man down with her words. Although those two cases had been horrible, it was nothing compared to the last. The unsub had called and said where he was and that he had another family hostage. There were audible screams on the other side of the phone. Mr. Plathville had said, “Come quickly. Please. I can’t stop myself anymore.” At first, the team felt like this was a good step. A great step even. The man was giving himself up and asking for help. However, as the tapped line was about to be disconnected, a child’s voice cut in. It sounded scared and small as it said, “Daddy? What’s wrong with Mommy?” That had the whole team freeze. The realization that Plathville had his own family captive now had the team feel like the floor was dropping out from under them -- everyone’s stomach sinking into knots. Hotch dropped the phone first and softly said, “Everyone, move, now.” After a second, he found his voice and said loudly, authoritatively, “Move. Now.” Aaron started running to the van, and he watched as his team followed him to both his car and the other SUV. _y/n_ and Rossi piled into Hotch’s car and hurriedly buckled as Hotch hit the gas pedal. The rubber tires squealed and burned on the concrete. _y/n_ had snatched the passenger seat in the front. Hotch’s jaw was set in a tight grimace as he sped down the road. His driving was close to erratic. It wasn’t something _y/n_ had seen in him before. _y/n_’s eyes found Rossi’s in the review mirror. The older man also looked a bit concerned as well. Gently, _y/n_ placed a hand on Aaron’s upper arm. She could feel the muscle tight under his sleeve as his hands gripped the wheel. At her touch, Hotch’s eyes briefly left the road and met hers. Whatever expression she had on her face was enough to slow his driving speed. For him to pay closer attention to the road.

Hotch was making her nervous. He didn’t seem like himself, but she didn’t say anything. There would be time for that later. The vans came to a raging halt outside the address that Plathville had disclosed. The house seemed quiet. Eerily so. Derek and Hotch approached the door softly. Derek breached the door and the team rushed inside. The front foyer was dark and there was no sound reverberating around the open area. The team fanned out in the ranch-style house. Derek and Spencer moved to the left side of the house toward the kitchen and guest bedroom. Rossi and Emily took the upstairs, and Hotch and _y/n_ moved left toward the living room and master bedroom. The other families had been found in the living room, and _y/n_ braced herself for a similar scene. Hotch’s shoulders tensed as he moved into the entryway of the living room. It meant that this family was already dead too. _y/n_ felt a part of her break inside, but she pulled the pieces back together for the team. For those who had passed. Both agents stepped into the room. The fact that the walls, carpet, and sofa were cream-colored only highlighted the dark splatters marring the walls, couch, and carpet which was soaked with a dark stain. _y/n_ pointed to the light switch and mouthed, “Should I turn it on?” Hotch nodded his head no and inclined this head toward the bedroom door, indicating that Mr. Plathville might still be in the bedroom. It was the only space they hadn’t breached. If Plathville was still in the house either alive or dead, it was in that room. As the calls of Spencer and Emily echoed through the house stating, “Clear,” a small sound came from behind the closed door. Both agents' eyes snapped to the door, and they moved forward. Once they got to the door. Aaron held out a hand to stop her. He shook his head no. He leaned forward and whispered, “Go look at the bodies. And then stop the rest of the team from entering the living room.” _y/n_ met his dark eyes. They seemed to go on forever. He had the look he had before when the child had spoken on the phone. The same look he had had in the car. _y/n_ desperately wanted to know what was going on in his head, but again, now wasn’t the time. _y/n_ nodded and moved back from the door. She moved to the two bodies on the floor but continued to watch as Aaron opened the door, stepped inside, and said, “Mr. Plathville. Don’t do this. Do you think this is the ending your wife and daughter would have wanted for you?” Hotch closed the door behind him, leaving the room in semi-darkness. Hotch could hear soft movement from the other side of the door. It was _y/n_ and it sounded like she was crying. Aaron pushed aside the soft sounds and focused only on Plathville. The cold metal weapon the unsub was holding in his dominant hand wasn’t pointed in any direction, but it could be in an instant. Hotch didn’t want _y/n_ in the room. Because Aaron knew family annihilators, he knew them because he lived with one of them as a child. As an adult, once he learned the proper terms for killers and sadists, he realized that if he hadn’t taken the brunt of what his father doled out, his own father might have been a Plathville as well. Aaron didn’t want _y/n_ to see what might happen. He didn’t want her to see this. Hotch put up his hands and said, “Put down the gun Mr. Plathville. You’ve been a coward with how you’ve treated others because they didn’t do what you liked. Don’t be a coward now, at the end. Face what you’ve done and prove that you’re actually a man.”

The unsub, eyes dark and glazed looked like he was about to set the gun on the bed. Aaron hoped that was what he was doing, but he didn’t trust the man either. Just as the gun seemed to be safe, Plathville turned the weapon on himself. Outside the closed door, _y/n_ heard a very loud bang. A deafening sound. At this point, _y/n was standing by the hallway with Derek. Em, and Rossi. She was doing her best to keep the three other agents at bay. When the BAU team heard the gunshot, they all rushed back into the room. Derek drew his sidearm as they all did and breached the door. _y/n_’s heart pounded in her chest because she had left him alone. Alone with an unsub who they knew had a gun; and if Aaron was dead, she would never be able to forgive herself. Not for all time. As the team rushed into the room. Hotch’s strong profile stood out against the window. His nose and jawline were distinct against the streetlight that seeped light into the room through the casement window. Aaron seemed frozen on the spot and the still and bloodied body of Mr. Plathville was slumped on the bed. _y/n_ moved forward and avoided her gaze from the new body. She took Aaron’s arm and pulled him out of the room. Not just the room but the house as well. She sensed that he needed the space away from the darkness emanating from the home. The graveyard.

When they were at the side of the house opposite the bedroom, _y/n_ stopped. She looked down at his shoes, they had blood splatters on the toe. She looked _u/sf/d_ at him. His face was also splattered with blood. _y/n_ reached over, pulling the cuff of her white sleeve over her palm; she started wiping away the viscous red fluid from his sharp facial features. _y/n_ reflected for a moment on how attractive Aaron really was, with his stoicism and strong jaw, and how terrible a time it was for such thoughts to surface. _y/n_ pushed them away as Hotch seemed to come to himself, as she moved her hand to the other side of his face. The blood smears here were larger. There was other matter that _y/n_ would rather not speculate on. Aaron’s left hand raised and pushed her own dirtied sleeve away from his face. Hotch seemed to take a small breath, and he looked like a child who had been caught doing something wrong. _y/n_ wondered if it was his showing emotion out in the open that he perceived as being bad. She looked back at him before he seemingly crumpled into _y/n_’s arms. Low sobs reverberated on her shoulder. Tears staining _y/n_’s already soiled shirt. _y/n_ was grateful the police cruisers were on the other side of the house. Parked on the gravel drive. _y/n_knew that they would have to move soon or else the team would come looking for them. She was sure Hotch would not want to be found in such a compromised state.

_y/n_ didn’t know what else to say than, “I’m sorry Hotch. I know it’s sick and fucked up, but at least there’s no one else he can hurt. Not even himself.” And it was true. It burned _y/n_ that Mr. Plathville would face no consequences for his crimes of passion, but when an unsub took the end into their own hands, there was a certain finality to the matter. There would be fewer interviews and less press. There wouldn’t be a trial or the need for written testimony from everyone involved. It felt like a twisted prize for a game no one had asked to play. After a moment, Aaron replied softly, “It’s not that. Or it is that and some other stuff. I don’t know why I’m like this. I’m sorry.” _y/n_ frowned and pulled away a bit. Hotch looked at her with eyes asking, begging for her to stay. She took his right hand which was hanging limply at his side and said, “Let’s just walk down the drive and back. It will give you a moment to compose yourself. Get your thoughts in order. “Aaron seemed to hesitate and said, “But the police… the team, they might.” _y/n_ cut him off gently saying, “They can wait. The cops have plenty of people to interview and material to bag and tag. They can wait while we take a five-minute walk.

_y/n_ found that walking got people talking. Particularly if the people were not wanting to open up. The movement and change of scenery seemed to give whomever she was walking with a breather and a chance to let out some thoughts if they wanted. If they didn’t, then at least they’d both gotten some fresh air. This technique had worked with Morgan, JJ, and Em. I had not worked with Spencer, but Spencer spoke so freely all the time that if he had something he didn’t want to share, then he didn’t want to share, and she understood that. This was the first time she was trying this method on Aaron. As they made it halfway up the drive, and not so much to her shock, Hotch let out a sigh and said, “It was Jack’s birthday yesterday…” _y/n_ looked over to him briefly. His eyes were on the ground, Glued to it. She knew that wasn’t the whole issue, but _y/n_ replied, “I’m sorry you had to miss that for this mess.”

They kept walking. and Aaron let out another breath and continued, “When I see people like Plathville, I see my father. I see a bit of myself in him as well.” _y/n_ furrowed her brow and turned to look at him, walking backward, matching his pace. She didn’t know a lot about Hotch’s father apart from the fact that he was dead and had hurt Aaron very badly. Perhaps she could see a correlation there between the unsub and Hotchner Sr., but she couldn’t see how Hotch was at all like either man. She asked for clarity saying, “What do you mean? I don’t see how you’re like either of those monsters. You’re tied to your father by blood, but he’s gone.” Aaron looked at her and then back down the dark path they were on. A lone streetlamp shone at the end of the road. They reached it and turned back before Aaron said, “It’s a pattern. They were both absent fathers. They both lashed out at things and people. And look at me. I hardly see Jack. It feels like once in a blue moon. And I might not be lashing out at people because my job takes out that stress. But look at me in the office, I’m still anal about things. I just see these patterns. I don’t want to fail as a father, and I feel like I am.” And there it was. There was the crux of his emotions and _y/n_ ached for his pain, for his fear, even if it seemed unfounded to her. It certainly wasn’t unfounded to him, and she’d never say that. As they moved back toward the house. _y/n_ was wording and rewording her response again and again in her head; she couldn’t quite seem to come up with the perfect response. It all sounded too close to “I love you and other people love you too, can’t you see that?” She felt the hairs picked up on the back of her neck and she looked over to Aaron. He was staring at her, Asking for some kind of reply. They were near the house again and she stopped, and he stopped too. Now _y/n_ gave a sigh, her breath making a little cloud in front of her face. She finally replied, “Aaron, I don’t know what this is going to sound like to you, but here it is. I think you’re tired. I haven’t seen you sleep in three days straight because this case is so close to you. It’s close because it involves a group of people who can’t protect themselves, or their children. And I think in some ways after Haley filed, you think that you can’t protect her or Jack either. But Aaron, you’ve handled everything there with as much grace and compassion as you could. You did what Haley wanted and you still try and look after them. And maybe you don’t see Jack as often as you like, but you try. I hear you call him at night when the team’s away. And the stories you tell about when he spends the weekends over make it sound like you don’t just shower him with gifts or love bomb him. You’re trying to have a relationship with him. And I never hear you badmouth Haley, ever, which means your son can know that not all relationships work out but there can still be a kind of love and respect. A lot of kids don’t get that.” _y/n_ took a breath and she saw in his eyes that he was coming more to himself, as she finished stating, “And about you being like your father, yeah, genes are passed down, but I don’t believe that people are born bad. I think something bad happens to them and you either continue the cycle or break it. And you’re far too kind of a person, even if you don’t show it, to keep doing what you’re father did. You’d never do those things to another person. You’re not him Hotch. You never will be.”

_y/n_ looked at him to see what his reaction to her words would be. Aaron looked like he might cry again, but was holding back those emotions. She hoped she hadn’t overstepped some emotional or professional line, but she didn’t have time to ask as Hotch stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. His warm body enveloped her in the cold night. His breath fanned the _s/l_ hair at the nape of her neck. He whispered, “Thank you for that, _y/n_. I needed to hear that.” When Aaron pulled back, he was himself again. He nodded and motioned his head toward the house. As he attempted to move forward, _y/n_ grabbed his coat sleeve, and he looked at her confused. _y/n_ said, “Wipe the left side of your face Hotch. It’s still bloody.” Aaron rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. They both started walking back to the house, and he wiped off his face. As they walked back, there was an understanding that something deeper had happened between them. As Aaron moved past the cruisers with red and blue lights still flashing, he raised the caution tape for _y/n_, and as she stepped under it. Aaron looked at her and felt a warmth seep through him. It bit through the cold outside, and he didn’t mind it.

Aaron pulled his mind out of the haze that was focused on the sounds that _y/n_ had made last Saturday morning. Her moans and whimpers rang in his ears for a second longer. He was thankfully snapped back to the interior of the jet as a bit of turbulence rocked the aircraft. Aaron cleared his throat and moved to the coffee maker. He made himself a cup of black coffee first. He shot a prayer up to any possible deity up there that his body and mind had not synced enough for him to be aroused by his mind's inappropriate wandering. Having to hide an erection wasn’t his idea of a fun time. It had happened once or twice before and he had to rush to the bathroom and splash cold water on his face and neck. When Hotch’s cup was done, he moved another clean styrofoam cup under the dispenser and started making _y/n_’s _t/c_. He stifled a yawn. He had spent much of the last two days working on field reports and revising the FBI’s security training. It was woefully behind the times. He had coordinated with Penelope and as helpful as Garcia was in terms of the technological aspects of cyber security, the lingo and Pen’s energy had worn him out a bit. The Keurig beeped, indicating _y/n_’s drink was done. He doctored the beverage as she liked. Aaron half blamed his wandering mind on his lack of sleep and the case. Spencer’s clear voice cut through all the others and he was talking about the more interesting sexual elements of Freud’s theories including the more lurid Oedipus and Xena complexes. Reid was going on about how the notes from the unsub seemed to really dive into those theories even though there was no sexual aspect to the case yet. Hotch grabbed _y/n_’s cup and moved back to the final group he had not spoken with yet.

He sat next to _y/n_ and handed her her cup. _y/n_ looked at Hotch and gave him a small smile before taking a sip of her drink. _y/n_ had a random thought, as she mulled over the bizarre nature of the case. She said aloud, “What do you think Freud would think about people using his theories like this? I mean he was odd and problematic, but not that odd.” Aaron had his eyes closed, and he replied without even thinking said, “I think Freud would say we should fuck.” _y/n_ nearly spat out her drink. The liquid burned her throat as it went down. Hotch caught his mistake and flushed, quickly amending his statement saying, “I mean if Freud were still here, he would probably think the unsub would want to have intercourse with his victims. It could either be latent sexual attraction or transference of sexual desire for an authority figure like a parent or teacher. An attraction that shouldn’t be acted out.” Hotch could feel his ears burning, and he hid his face by taking a long drink of his coffee. The dark liquid burned his mouth but this pain was better than having to face to look of utter shock of his friends. Thankfully the awkwardness only lasted a second longer as Spencer picked up on his hurried line of thinking saying, “You could be right. This unsub might be impotent and killing as a means of sexual release. Or they could be killing as a displacement tactic for unwanted feelings.” Reid jumped into that conversation with a fervor and _y/n_ added her thoughts in too along with taking some notes on the comments Spence made.

Although Spencer didn’t choose to comment on what Hotch had said, when the Unit Chief looked over at Rossi, his friend had an eyebrow raised and an expression that said, “Really, Aaron?” Hotch closed his eyes, sighed, and rubbed a hand over his eyelids as if saying, “I’m tired. Alright?” When Aaron opened his eyes again, Rossi just gave a little shrug as if saying, “Hey. I have three ex-wives. I’m not one to judge.” The older man ever so slightly looked over to _y/n_ and gave a small smile. The team knew that Hotch was seeing _y/n_. They were all too perceptive not to tell. But what he had just said was more personal than the team needed to know. At least not yet. Aaron liked keeping his private life private, and he would have to apologize to _y/n_ for putting their personal business out there like that. He was just thankful that he had made that slip of the tongue in front of Spencer and Dave and not Morgan and Garcia. There would be no end to the gossip if that had been the case. Aaron sat back in his seat and did his best to put back on the Unit Chief facade. One great thing was that he was able to compartmentalize his emotions and what had just happened was just a blunder. He fell easily back into the conversation and made himself useful to the team.

The case was a wild one with the team being kept on their feet, as the unsub devolved into crazier and more complex kills. Thankfully the unsub, one Kathy Kittery got sloppy as her mind crumbled under the weight of her own brain. Thus, only one other victim was lost, the others, though traumatized would make it through the ordeal. Ms. Kittery was a therapist who had had her license revoked after having an affair with a client. Once she had taken that blow, she had moved to a second career that had always interested her. Being a Ranger in a State Park. However, as it turned out, the mental isolation did not help with her already troubled state and she had slipped into acting on her delusions, thus the need for the team to come in the first place. After the unsub had been arrested, the team, as normal, was assured that she wouldn’t be seeing freedom for a good long while. On the jet home, Aaron’s sexual comment was almost forgotten by everyone, including himself, but _y/n_ remembered and as she closed her eyes to sleep on the short flight back, her brain played out certain scenarios that she also wouldn’t want to be voiced in front of the others. When the jet touched down, the team disembarked and _y/n_ asked Aaron as they walked back to the main office, “So, what are you doing tomorrow?” Tomorrow was Saturday and she hoped that they could spend the day together or with Jack if he was staying over at Hotch’s that weekend. It felt like a while since they had had a good day to themselves. Work had piled up, and she longed for just a few solid hours with Aaron. Hotch, however, didn’t seem to pick up on her tone as he was tired. He replied in a monotone, “Probably filling out paperwork in the office I’m behind on like three cases worth and this makes a fourth.” _y/n_ pouted slightly. She knew she was being silly, but sometimes Aaron needed a break for his own good, and an idea started brewing in the back of her mind. If she had the nerve to do even half of what her head was cooking up, she would have done something she had been imagining for a long time. Longer than was appropriate probably. For the moment she just said, “Mhm. Sounds productive.” Hotch scoffed as they both entered the sliding glass door. Even he knew his life, and particularly weekends sounded miserable sometimes. After all, he was the one that put him through them.

The next afternoon, _y/n_ pulled up to the Quantico field office. She parked her car next to Aaron’s and set her employee parking pass on the dash so it could be seen by security. _y/n_ chuckled remembering the one time that Derek had forgotten his pass and had his Corvette towed on a Saturday. Her athletic friend had been so flustered, saying, “Oh come on! I work at the freaking FBI you’d think there would be some camera’s in this lot and they’d know I work here!” _y/n_ had laughed, patted his shoulder, and offered him a ride to the impound lot to pick up his flashy car. As _y/n_ moved through the mostly empty lot she smiled. Not that she expected there to be a lot of people at the office on a Saturday afternoon, but it boded well for what she had in mind. As entered the office and was waived through security quickly, she hadn’t brought her gun or anything important with her. She entered the bullpen and looked up at Hotch’s office. His lights were on and she could see him looking at something on his desk. It was most likely a field report. The bullpen was empty and most of the lamps on the desks were off. One or two burned brightly in the soft space. One or two of the agents must have forgotten to turn them off in the rush to get home on Friday. She turned off the lamps as she texted Aaron, “Hey, you at the office?” She looked up at his office window and his head turned to the side. Clearly, he had just received her message. His left hand raised and a second later her phone beeped. Hotch had sent back a simple “Yes.” He was never one to be overly elaborate over text. If he was forced to type more than one full paragraph he would just give up and call instead. _y/n_ always chalked it up to his hands being too big for the small phone screen. He probably made a lot of accidental typos with his thumbs and had to go back and correct them which seemed like a thing that would annoy him to no end, even if he did have autocorrect on his phone. _y/n_ took a breath as she looked at Aaron again. He was back to his paper. _y/n_ had jokingly said she would do this if the spirit led her, but somehow seemed like the dirty things she was picturing in her head were driving her up the stairs and not ‘the spirit.’ Outside Hotch’s door, she knocked once and then turned the knob. She stepped into the dimly lit room and closed the door behind her. She softly said, “Hey Hotch, how are the papers going?” Aaron looked up from his desk. He did a bit of a double take as his eyes flicked to his phone and then back to her. His eyes held a hint of surprise, warmth, and general confusion as he said, “_y/n_. What are you doing here? Do you need something?” _y/n_ couldn’t help but flush already. Hotch was just too cute sometimes; especially when he wasn’t trying.

_y/n_ smiled at him and took a seat across from him at his desk. _y/n_ sighed and said, “I was just bored I guess. I had nothing better to do, so why not give you a hand with your paperwork? Maybe I can get you out of here earlier than five p.m. on a Saturday?” Aaron raised a brow. He highly doubted that that was _y/n_’s only reason for being here, but he wouldn’t question her. Instead, he picked up a case file, and set it in front of her saying, “Suit yourself, love.” _y/n_ flushed again and pulled one of Aaron’s ballpoint pens out of the cup he kept a stash in. _y/n_ wondered how many pens he dried up per year, but wasn’t in the mood for calculus problems right now. Instead, she opened the file and started working on the first page. She had to take it for at least ten minutes before she made a move. _y/n_ assumed if she outright said, “Hey wanna have sex in your office there would be two simultaneous outcomes. The first was that she would no longer be Aaron Hotchner’s partner and that she would be a former FBI Behavioral Analyst. Neither of which sounded very appealing. So she took her time.

When Aaron seemed absorbed in his work again, she slipped off her shoe and moved her foot across the space between her side of the desk and his. It was a bit of a reach, but she managed to brush Aaron’s ankle and the inside of his trouser leg. That did it and Aaron’s eyes snapped to hers. They were dark, hiding emotions that he often kept at bay. He cleared his throat and said, “_y/n_, really?” You chuckled and said, “Sorry. I just like to see you flustered.” _y/n_ pulled her leg back and Aaron watched as she flushed but returned to her papers. _y/n_ knew he liked it when she was a tease sometimes and that was her plan for this potentially risky act she was trying to have with Hotch. After another ten minutes, _y/n_ repeated the same action, except this time she moved her foot higher up his leg She applied gentle pressure to the inside of his leg. His grey trousers were cool under her foot as they moved up past the knee and onto his inner thigh. Her dark stockings were the only barrier between her skin and the fabric of his pants. _y/n_ looked up at him and he let out a soft breath as if his brain hadn’t caught up with his body yet. When the two entities of mind of body did collide his brows furrowed trying to reconcile the pleasure coursing through his body and the fact that this shouldn’t be happening in his office.

Before he could make any protestation, _y/n_ cut him off saying, “So, ‘Freud said we should fuck’ did he?” This reminder of his slip of the tongue gagged Aaron momentarily. It gave _y/n_ enough time to shift lower in her chair and slip her foot high enough to press over his crotch. Aaron let out a little grunt at the contact. _y/n_ continued to run her foot over his zipper, up and down in a rhythmic pattern. _y/n_ smiled as his eyes grew hazy with desire. A look she’d seen on him often, just not in his office. Never in his office. But she had dreamed about it plenty. She’d woken soaked on occasions with the notion of Aaron having her in his office, blinds drawn tight as they made love in the enclosed space. Aaron stuttered trying to make a coherent sentence, but his cock slowly hardening in his pants was not helping him at all. _y/n_ could feel it under her foot and continued to tease him saying, “You know you really shouldn’t make comments about our sex lives in front of a team of profilers. I think you owe me an apology?” _y/n_ pulled her foot away and Aaron groaned at the loss of contact, but suddenly his mind was more clear. Half of Aaron’s brain cursed _y/n_ for knowing just the right way to turn him on. The other half was already imagining her splayed out on his desk as he ate her out, or pounded into her so hard that the desk left marks on her hips. Those thoughts alone had his member twitch against his belt and fly. To consumed in his thoughts, Aaron slipped off his own left shoe, and perhaps more gently than _y/n_ had, he moved his foot up her leg and to her cunt. _y/n_ opened her legs for him slightly pushing her _kl/s/m_ length skirt up a bit. Even wearing socks, Aaron could tell that _y/n_ was wet. The moan she made as he just brushed over her sex and him realize that he couldn’t wait. That he needed her, now. Hotch took away his foot and reveled in the needy noise _y/n_ also made at the lack of contact. Hotch moved quickly to his door, locking it from the inside before closing the shades to the office. His movements were hasty, jerky even. _y/n_ watched him, knowing the sexual tension must have built up since the last time they had been intimate.

_y/n_ wasn’t sure what Aaron had in mind but she did have to ask, “There aren’t any hidden cameras in here, right?” Hotch chuckled, the sound was throaty, and he replied, “Not that I know of. And if they are, then at least we’ll both be fired.” _y/n_ laughed at this and took his hand; she led him back to his office chair. _y/n_ appreciated that he had a sense of humor in these moments that were new to him. _y/n_ knew that she pushed him to do things he hadn’t before both in and out of the bedroom, but he never complained and the bulge in his pants told her that he was already looking forward to what she was about to do for him. Aaron looked up at her a bit amazed at the things she could make him do. Never in his life had he thought he would be able to act out his fantasy. _y/n_ leaned down and kissed him softly at first and then with more hunger and ferocity. Aaron reciprocated in turn. As their lips looked in a passionate heated kiss, _y/n_ moved her hands to the belt that kept his trousers in place over his trim hips. It wasn’t as hard as _y/n_ had imagined taking off his belt without looking. The cool metal of the clasp heated against your skin. You moved to his pant’s button and zipper next. _y/n_ didn’t want to wait around anymore and once his grey briefs and thick arousal were freed, _y/n_ started palming his erection with a steady hand. Once her hand started stroking him, Aaron let out a gasp. He opened his mouth enough for her to slip her tongue into his mouth. He breathed in her throat and had her make a small contented noise as she explored the well-known concaves of his mouth. _y/n_ would never consider herself a sex expert, but when it came to new positions or scenarios with intimacy and Hotch, she often found it helpful if she took the lead. Warming him up to the idea. Making him feel comfortable and safe before they kept doing whatever it was they were trying. Oftentimes Aaron would jump on board and take the reigns, which she adored. She loved it when he told her what to do, how to lie. Everything. It was one of Aaron’s most attractive traits.

_y/n_ pulled her mouth away from his and wrapped her hand around his cock, more steadily pumping his length. Aaron said her name as he started moving his hips to meet her pace. His body responded to her touch. _y/n_ smiled at him and moved away for a moment, pushing his chair back enough for her to kneel under his desk. Aaron pushed his hips up and let _y/n_ pull his pants down, exposing his cock to the cold air. Hotch took a few steadying breaths. He knew what was to come, _y/n_ gave some of the best head that he had ever had and the anticipation of her lips on her member had him panting already. He said, “Can you not kneel all the way down like that, love? I want to touch you while you’re dining me?” _y/n_ smiled, relishing the fact that he was already taking a small amount of control of the situation. She nodded and said, “Of course Aaron, anything you ask.” With his request in mind, _y/n_ got up on her knees. It was helpful because she needed the reach to be able to lean over and take his tip in her mouth. She swirled her tongue over the top and slit, sucking at it like some rare candy. Hotch groaned as she moved her head down his length slightly. _y/n_ took in his width and length with surprising ease. He was always surprised by her ability to take him. It only made her more attractive to him. As his head swam with pleasure and endorphins, he moved his own body forward and down a little. His head almost rested on her shoulder as he moved his long arm to feel between her legs and upper thighs. He slid his hand down and over between her skirt. As he started rubbing her clothed sex, _y/n_ moaned over his cock. She took a second before she kept moving her head further down him. Her mouth and tongue doing things to him that almost made him see stars. His left hand kept massaging her wet, clothed folds while his right pushed up her shift and kneaded her breasts in turn over her _y/f/c/a/s_ bra. Aaron could feel her nipples grow rigid under her bra and he moved his hand under the intimate article of clothing that covered her chest. He squeezed her right breast and squeezed her nipple. As _y/n_ started moving her head up and down his whole length, Aaron matched her pace with his hand on her clit, pushing and pulling sensations out of her. It turned out Hotch was so aroused, so excited that he kept moving his hand faster over her sex and clit, and _y/n_ kept up her own pace. Aaron panted and tipped his head back as he released some precome and she moved off him sucking it off of him. As she moved to take him in her mouth again, Aaron stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. _y/n_’s mind and body were also hazy with desire. Her entrance ached to be filled by Hotch more fully. His hand was amazing, but nothing beat him seating himself in her fully and then fucking her to the heavens.

Aaron could see this desire in her. A desire for him alone. Aaron pulled her onto shaky feet. He stood as well. He kissed her again, the beginning of stubble running over her chin and jaw. He pushed his pants and briefs fully off his legs and undid the side zipper of her skirt. He let it fall onto the beige carpet. He pulled back from her mouth and slipped his hands at the elastic of her stockings. He was too impatient to pull them down gingerly. Instead, he used just a bit of his strength to rip them down the center seam. _y/n_ let out an exhalation of breath. She knew it was going to get good now. Not that it hadn’t been good before, but she knew that it could get even better than his thumb and middle finger rubbing against her sex and clit. Aaron looked at her panties and noticed how they matched her bra. He murmured, “You had this all planned, didn’t you, you little devil?” _y/n_ gave him a wink and said, “Maybe just a little. You mad about it?” Hotch let out a little throaty growl and slipped his fingers under the band of her underwear. When they were on the floor, he moved to the desk. He pushed his files to the side along with the batch that _y/n_ had been working so diligently on a few minutes ago. He might desperately want to bend her over his desk, but he wasn’t so stupid to waste three good hours of work by having his files fly all over the place while he fucked _y/n_.

Once the forms were safely on the other side of the desk, Aaron grabbed her hips, turned her body 180 degrees, and then pressed her upper body flush to the hard dark wood of his desk. Hotch had unbuttoned her shirt and her skin felt cool against Hotch’s desk. She anticipated Aaron’s next move as he moved behind her slowly. Hotch pumped his throbbing length once or twice to ready himself. Another bead of precum moved to his tip and he wet his member with it. Even if he was ready and _y/n_ was ready, some of her wetness was even dripping down her thigh, Hotch was going to tease her still, as she had teased him. Aaron moved right next to her and slid his cock up and down her entrance, slightly pressing at the space that was begging for him. Aaron used his left hand to stroke over her weeping sex and _y/n_ moaned saying, “A-aron. Please. Please fuck me. Oh god.” Aaron looked at his length now coated in his and _y/n_’s excitement. It didn’t take more than her words for him to press himself into her fully with a measured thrust. _y/n_ let her out a breath and Hotch could feel her body press into the side of the desk. Aaron pulled out and pressed in again. _y/n_ let out a whimper and there was a slight squelching sound and he began to move in and out of her more quickly. Aaron's thick cock filled her fully and Hotch watched as he pushed in and out of her building his speed. The veins of his length ribbed her insides and _y/n_ almost let her feet go from under her, the desk and Aaron holding up her weight as he kept pressing into her with a relentless pace. _y/n_ could feel him fill her fully, pressing his whole member deep inside her. Aaron knew just how to move his hips to hit her sweet spot and she was panting and babbling in under a minute. Aaron moved one hand to her mouth whispering, “Shhh, now. We wouldn’t want to get caught, now would we?” _y/n_ wanted to protest and say, ‘You know no one is out there, Hotch,’ but her head was so full of lust, desire, and longing to let go. Aaron’s movements had her desire building and she knew Aaron could feel it too. Hotch picked up the pace, rapidly thrusting into her. He moved his left hand to her clit and let go of her mouth so she could let out a litany of sounds. As he kept his fast pace and circled her clit, her body pushed roughly against his desk with every thrust, she whimpered, “I...I’m gonna come, Aaron.” Hotch smiled and leaned down so his chest was flush with her back. His hand on her outer erogenous zone moved quickly and _y/n_’s walls fluttered and then contracted against his cock. _y/n_ cried out and let go of everything, letting the pure bliss of her orgasm overcome her. The sounds of her release had Aaron climax as well. He groaned as he pushed into her a few more times as he let his spent his ejaculation into her. Their shared sounds of pleasure filled the room and Aaron considered how this was better than he could have ever imagined. _y/n_ though spent, felt the same way.

Hotch took a moment to catch his breath and after a minute he let out a contented sigh. He pulled out of _y/n_ gently. As _y/n_ similarly let out a hum of happiness. She loved the way he was so gentle with her at the end of their intimate encounters. Aaron helped her stand and led her to the couch at the side of the room. Neither exactly felt like saying anything in the soft afterglow of their shared experience. Aaron had her sit on the couch and pulled moved back to his desk. He opened the left drawer and pulled out a pocket square that he rarely wore. He found the linen handkerchiefs too formal and stuffy. And as someone who came off as formal and stuffy already, he didn’t need a fashion accessory to add to the impression. But now, the fabric would come in handy. Aaron walked back to the couch with the confidence of a man who had performed very well. _y/n_ would have laughed at his cockiness if he wasn’t so damn good at sex. The first they had done it, she was so tight that it would have hurt if he hadn’t helped prep her very well. Now he fit her perfectly and he knew it.

She smiled lazily at him as he knelt down and gently cleaned her up. He loved her, but if his or her release started staging his furniture, it might lead to awkward conversations later. When he was done cleaning her body, he wiped himself. He raised his head and said, “Was that everything you wanted darling? You did very well by the way. You felt so good for me. I hope I was the same for you?” _y/n_ beamed and said, “It was everything I wanted and more. Thanks for indulging me. Aar. But I do think you should get out of this office. Being cramped up in here isn’t good for you mentally, sexually, or physically. So what do you say we get out of here and get an early dinner and watch a Christmas movie at my place, huh?” Aaron chuckled and folded the soiled handkerchief to the clean side facing out. He put it in his pocket and smoothed down his now very crumpled shirt. He grabbed his pants and underwear along with _y/n_’s skirt and panties. He tossed them over to her and they both changed. As Aaron zipped up his pants, he said, “Sounds like I good plan. These papers can wait till Monday morning.” Somehow _y/n_ always seemed to know what he needed, and he wasn’t going to fight her on it now. Not after what they’d just done. As _y/n_ put her clothes back on, he paced his briefcase and packed _y/n_’s ripped tights inside with his other work. He wouldn’t just throw those away in the trash by the door. As he did this, _y/n_ moved behind him and gave him a hug saying softly, “You know I really liked those tights, so I expect a replacement stat, mister.” Hotch chuckled and said, “You got it, _y/n_, but you know I couldn’t help myself. Not when you tease me like that.” There was a shared laughter as Aaron turned off his lamp, grabbed his and _y/n_’s bag, and opened the door for both of them. He locked the door to his office behind him and trailed _y/n_. He had suddenly grown an appetite and asked, “So, what type of food are you feeling.” _y/n_ thought about it as they descended the stairs. She took his hand and said, “How about _y/f/t/f_?” Aaron smiled and said, “Sounds great!” _y/n_ rested her head against Aaorn’s shoulder and contemplated how lucky she was for him, and for Freudian slips.

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spacesapphic770 · 9 months

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I'm high key obsessed with the ways Armored Core 6 gives us multiple characters that are a mirrors to 621 and/or you as a player

What follows will be spoilers that include stuff all the way up to the New Game++ ending. Don't click if you're not okay with spoilers:

There are a couple that immediately jumped out to me.

The first is V.I Freud. The first sign you get that he is a mirror to the player is that he is ranked number 1 in the arena, and his bio says people speculate that he is heavily augmented and gets unethical "updates" like snail does. But the truth is that he's not augmented and he's just someone who really fucking loves being an AC pilot. Like us as players, he's just here for the love of the experience. This is further displayed by the fact that even though he is technically commander of the Vespers, he's absent from the story until it's time to fight him. Because he has no interest in doing what Snail does, engaging in logistics and command and subterfuge. He just wants to pilot his mech. And then you finally meet him in the Fires of Raven ending... and his first action is to kill Chatty and complain about the lack of challenge. And you get this chilling mirror into what your devastation across Rubicon has been like. Every AC pilot you've taken on was loved by someone. The way Carla loved Chatty (the way I loved Chatty too). And the rest of the fight is filled with great moments, like Freud silencing Snail on the radio and him revelling in your fight... but the tone has been irreversibly changed by his cold blooded killing of Chatty. To Freud, I'm sure Chatty felt like just another side objective or Loghunt. Freud's fight is an amazing way to make the player reflect in my opinion.

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO AVOID NG++ SPOILERS

The next one is more of a reflection to 621 in world than the player. Gun 5 Iguazu. I loved this dude and his shitty attitude from the moment I met him. He was such a perfect dickhead. Just a sassy dude. And then you read his arena bio and you realise he sasses you because he gets shit from the other redguns all the time and is scraping for any control in his life. It doesn't make him less of an ass, but you get it on some level.

Then the NG+ missions start happening, and you keep having these fights with Iguazu. It's almost funny how mad he gets and how relentless he is in trying to kill you. And he might take you down once or twice, but you can reload saves and he can't so he's doomed to fail. And he just gets angrier. He even sends a full on assassin to kill you, just to feel in control. In another world the game would be about Iguazu trying to finally beat his rival 621.

He gets more and more desperate. As you take the Coral Release ending he shows up when you ambush Snail, and he's more desparate. A few times he's mentioned a noise in his head he can't get rid of. It's a little unsettling. You continue down the path, get to the final boss, and... it's Iguazu. Sort of. He's joined with Allmind and is serving as its pilot to take you down. It's funny at first, at least I found it so. "No way! Iguazu is the final boss? Hilarious!"

Then you hear his dialogue. I had forgotten by this point that his arena bio says he's also a gen 4 augmented human. And it clicks.

In another world he really *could* have been the protagonist. He's a gen 4 like you. That noise he's been hearing? It was Allmind (And in the same way Iguazu is your reflection, Allmind is Ayre's reflection. Listen to the way Allmind talks to Iguazu. It's more manipulative than Ayre, but when Iguazu overloads your ACS Allmind tells him to take advantage of it the same way Ayre tells you to take advantage when Iguazu's ACS is overloaded). He wants to have the agency 621 has, he wants to have the skills 621 has, when he hears voices he doesn't want it to be painful... he wants a friend like 621 has. Walter says gen 4's can have trouble with their augmentations and we don't really see that with 621, but I get the impression Iguazu DOES struggle and he looks at 621 and says "Why? Why do they get to be free while I suffer?" Which becomes even more painful when you pick a fight with him at the Galia Dam.

As he says with his dying breath... he was envious of 621. And if you're anything like me it makes you reflect on things. Look into the mirror that Iguazu is and was. Think about the life 621 might have led if they weren't the chosen one who gets to be player character. This is not to say 621 does not suffer throughout AC6, because they are often treated like an object, a tool, or an animal. But it does make you think about how things would be if they weren't such a good pilot.

Anyway, yeah AC6 is good.

#armored core 6 #armored core #armored core 6 spoilers #armored core spoilers #This game makes me feel a lot of things

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slocumjoe · 1 year

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ways people write the companions that make me go hmmm

Gage excluded because I haven't seen enough portrayals of him

Cait; Poor Cait has such confusing, odd writing choices that I can’t blame anyone for doing this, but...when she’s boiled down to either Tough Irish Gal or Traumatized, with little dimension. Again, Bethesda does this themselves in text, depending on ??? so it’s not, like, a big deal. My advice for writing Cait is to remember that she exists outside of being Irish or Traumatized. She’s read/read about Freud, for example. So, she presumably learned to read, likely self-taught. If she read something psychology related, she must have taken an interest in it. That sort of thing. The best way to write Cait is to not take the obvious answer, because Cait’s depth itself isn’t obvious.

Curie; When people write Curie as a stupid, horny, smol bean 2 gud 4 dis world, i throw up in my mouth. Same as Cait, this is Bethesda’s fault. They have a habit of going for funny dialogue instead of sensible. There is no reason for Curie to say half the shit she does, she says it because someone thought it was funny, or worse, sexy. I’d recommend going through Curie’s likes/dislikes and dialogue even more so than I do other companions. Curie has a lot of edges if you go looking for them. Y’know Covenant? Curie supports Covenant. Also, she’s literally a robot in a human body. She’s 200+ years old, too. Make her fucking weird. Y’know how elves/fae are? Like that. Bonus if you make her friendliness off-putting. Being friends with a doctor gets annoying, speaking from personal experience. Also, being a doctor, she knows all about sex and sexual pleasure. She’s not confused what a dick is

Hancock; please acknowledge other aspects of his character beyond horny, sad, or high. He has them, I swear. Do you even know his parents’ names? No. You care only about ghoul dick or stoner jokes. He’s not even a stoner, he does the Fallout equivalent of meth/adderall. Much like Deacon, he does and thinks about other shit. I joke with Hancock as well, but you might notice that none of my actual reacts/headcanons open and close with shit like “he huffs some jet with one hand, fingers you with the other, and thinks about how he sucks”

Danse; i promise you, Paladin Danse is not hypervigilant of people’s asses/tits/dicks/whatevers. He’s not imagining having sex with your busty Sole every time he looks at them. That’s not just not Danse, it’s also very creepy and dehumanizing to both Danse and Sole. Is Sole not more than their tits? Other companions get the too-horny treatment as well, but I see Danse getting it worse of all. Sometimes he’s written as absolute manchild regarding sex, knowing literally nothing, same as Curie. I say Danse doesn’t know what jerking off is as a joke, but he probably knows. But Chronic Virgin Danse is usually a light-hearted joke, Hypersexual Danse is just fucking weird. It gets into unhealthy territory. Like...Danse wouldn’t want to fight people flirting with his crush. He wouldn’t even get aggressive if he was dating Sole. He’s not a hotheaded asshole. Annoyed at best, rude at worst. It’s giving Fifty shades/Twilight/After.

Deacon; You guys know that when Deacon takes a shit, he isn’t dedicating it to Barbara, right? He isn’t dedicating it to his own redemption, or saving synths? He isn’t thinking up a cool lie to make about the shit-taking? When he has a drink of water, he isn’t like, “Barb used to drink water.” or “The U.P Deathclaws drank water” or “I’m gonna say I killed a behemoth with a water bottle!” Deacon has other thoughts and motivations beyond the meme or the sad. I can’t judge too much, because Deacon himself would approve of being thought of like this, but good god. Just let the dude be a dude sometimes. Let him shit in peace.

MacCready; might be because he’s the most solidly written, but very few complaints with most MacCready stuff. Him being a little perverted is in character, he’s 22. However, I have seen people straight up forget Duncan and Lucy. It’s okay, though. So did Bethesda.

Nick; Also usually solid, the most common crime is that aforementioned After Shades of Twilight writing. Nick is not a possessive dude. He’s even less likely than Danse to get aggressive over his partner. Yeah, sure, he’s a cop, but is that really the fantasy you want? Really?

Piper; I have...famously strong opinions on Piper, but good god. Blue this, Blue that, I’m gonna write about this, this’ll look good in my paper, I’m putting this in the news. Oh my God. You’d think Sole was a fucking SMURF with how many writers call them Blue. You’d think Piper dragged her writing press behind her like Sisyphus heaving his boulder along. Same as Deacon and Hancock, SHE DOES OTHER SHIT. People bend over backwards trying to work in the fact she’s a reporter. Same as Cait, the obvious is not interesting.

Preston; fuck the settlement jokes, I hate it when Preston is turned into an UwU soft boy baby cinnamon roll 2 gud 4 dis world UwU sunshine sweetie pie cutie. Whenever someone does this, they don’t actually like Preston. They have no thoughts, no feelings, they just...I don’t know, want to be contrarion to Preston haters? “Imagine not liking Preston, couldn’t be me ;333″ you realize this is racist, right? Like, you know infantilizing black men is racist? Oh my God you don't know this is racist

X6-88; SPEAKING OF FUCKING RACISM. The highest discourse I’ve seen around X6 is calling it ableist to HC him as autistic, but that is NOT the biggest issue with X6 writing. X6-88 is best described as, like, a very expensive, very spoiled cat of a rich, Old Money asshole. You know the Evil Stepmother’s cat in Cinderella? That bitch. That’s X6 in a nutshell. That’s how you write X6. I’m not even going to get into the racist ass portrayals of X6 because fuck is it tiring, just gonna leave you with this; X6 is best when you see his character for the humor and genuinely interesting philosophies in it, and not when you see him as a BDSM hardcore porn big dick sex god dominant daddy who likes spanking.

#fallout 4 #fo4 #paladin danse #preston garvey #piper wright #nick valentine #x6-88 #robert joseph maccready #x6 discourse makes me so tired #its also Bethesdas fault like with everything else but omg #the coldest takes. yall have the coldest takes with this man

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calliesmemes · 3 months

Text

JAMES CAMERON’S TITANIC (1997)

ROLEPLAY SENTENCE STARTERS PULLED FROM THE SCRIPT FOR THE ICONIC FILM TITANIC (1997). DELETED SCENES INCLUDED.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“ You’re a treasure hunter. So what is the treasure you’re hunting? ”

“ She’s a goddamned liar! A nutcase! ”

“ ls there anything you'd like? ”

“ Well, here it is, the moment of truth. ”

“ I know how hard it is for people who care greatly for money to give some away. ”

“ This was mine. How extraordinary! It looks the same as the last time I saw it. ”

“ Just tell us what you can-- ”

“ I don't see what all the fuss is about. ”

“ Your daughter is much too hard to impress. ”

“ You act as if you're going to your execution. ”

“ Outwardly I was everything a well brought up girl should be. Inside, I was screaming. ”

“ You lost our money. I'm just trying to get it back. ”

“ Somebody's life's about to change. ”

“ We are the luckiest sons of bitches in the world! ”

“ Just another example of the men settin' the rules their way. ”

“ Do you know of Dr. Freud? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you. ”

“ She’s a pistol. I hope you can handle her. ”

“ Stay back! Don't come any closer! ”

“ Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do. ”

“ You're distracting me. Go away. ”

“ Don't be absurd. You'll be killed. ”

“ Come on. You don't want to do this. Give me your hand. ”

“ I've got you. I won't let go. ”

“ Women and machinery do not mix. ”

“ Good for you son, well done! ”

“ Perhaps you could join us for dinner tomorrow, to regale our group with your heroic tale? ”

“ I know you've been melancholy, and I don't pretend to know why. ”

“ It's for royalty. And we are royalty. ”

“ Open your heart to me. ”

“ I’m afraid I'm feeling a little tired. ”

“ Look, I'm running out of time. I need your help. ”

“ Maybe she wants to make peace with the past. ”

“ Could I speak to you in private? ”

“ So, you got a name by the way? ”

“ That's quite a moniker. I may have to get you to write that down. ”

“ I feel like such an idiot. It took me all morning to get up the nerve to face you. ”

“ Look, I know what you must be thinking! Poor little rich girl. What does she know about misery? ”

“ I was trapped in it, like an insect in amber. ”

“ Oh God, I am such an utter fool. ”

“ Please don't judge me until you've seen my world. ”

“ You have a gift — you see people. ”

“ I was hoping I'd catch you at tea. ”

“ Why can’t I be like you? ”

“ They didn't teach you that in finishing school? ”

“ Do you have the slightest comprehension of what you're doing? ”

“ You're about to go into the snakepit. I hope you're ready. ”

“ What are you planning to wear? ”

“ My, my, my... you shine up like a new penny. ”

“ I didn't recognize you. ”

“ Amazing! You could almost pass for a gentleman! ”

“ Remember, the only thing they respect is money, so just act like you've got a lot of it and you're in the club. ”

“ It’s a pity we’re both spoken for, isn’t it? ”

“ Where exactly do you live? ”

“ You find that sort of rootless existence appealing, do you? ”

“ It’s a big world, and I want to see it all before I go ”

“ Something like that teaches you to take life as it comes at you. To make each day count. ”

“ All life is a game of luck. ”

“ A real man makes his own luck. ”

“ What are you doing? I see you everywhere writing in this little book. ”

“ It'll be all business and politics, that sort of thing. ”

“ So you want to go to a real party? ”

“ You're not one of them. There's been a mistake. ”

“ Look! A shooting star. ”

“ My father used to say that whenever you saw a shooting star, it was a soul going to heaven. ”

“ What would you wish for? ”

“ I had hoped you would come to me last night. ”

“ You will never behave like that again! Do you understand? ”

“ I will not be made out to be a fool! Is this in any way unclear? ”

“ You are not to see that boy again, do you understand me? ”

“ Oh, stop it. You'll give yourself a nosebleed. ”

“ This is not a game! Our situation is precarious! ”

“ How can you put this on my shoulders? ”

“ How can you be so selfish? ”

“ We're women. Our choices are never easy. ”

“ Look, you're not supposed to be in here. ”

“ She's a goddess amongst mortal men. ”

“ You're a spoiled little brat! ”

“ You're the most amazingly astounding girl I've ever known. ”

“ You're amazing... and I know I have nothing to offer you. ”

“ I can’t turn away without knowing that you’ll be safe. ”

“ They've got you in a glass jar like some butterfly, and you're going to die if you don't break out. ”

“ Sooner or later the fire in you is going to go out. ”

“ It's not up to you to save me ”

“ I changed my mind. ”

“ I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. ”

“ I expect to get what I want. ”

“ I want to always remember this night. ”

“ You’re trembling. ”

“ I can feel your heart beating. ”

“ It doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it. ”

“ There’s no cause for alarm. ”

“ Say, did I miss the fun? ”

“ Something serious has happened. ”

“ You can't be serious! We're in the middle of an emergency! ”

“ Don't listen to them... I didn't do this! You know I didn't! You know it! ”

“ I believe you may get your headlines. ”

“ Please dress warmly; it's quite cold tonight. ”

“ Please tell me the truth. ”

“ Tell only who you must. I don't want to be responsible for a panic. ”

“ Do you know who I am? ”

“ I'd rather be his whore than your wife. ”

“ That man tried to take advantage of me! ”

“ Help!! Somebody!! Can anybody hear me?! ”

“ I'll do this with or without your help. But without will take longer. ”

“ I'm through with being polite, goddamnit! I may never be polite the rest of my life! ”

“ So... how did you find out I didn't do it? ”

“ Where you go, I go. ”

“ Don’t argue with me; you know it does no good. ”

“ I will never forget you. ”

“ It seems we've been dealt a bad hand this time. ”

“ You're a good liar. ”

“ I always win. One way or another. ”

“ You're so stupid, you're such an idiot— ”

“ You jump, I jump, right? ”

“ What could possibly be funny? ”

“ Won't you even make a try for it? ”

“ We can't expect God to do all the work for us. ”

“ Shhh. Don't cry. It'll be over soon. It'll all be over soon. ”

“ No... don't say your good-byes. Don't you give up. Don't do it. ”

“ You're going to die an old lady, warm in your bed. Not here. Not this night. Do you understand me? ”

“ You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise. ”

#askbox meme #askbox prompt #rp ask meme #ask box #roleplay sentence meme #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay sentence starters #* sentence meme #rpc help #historical rp #bridgerton rp #indie disney rp #disney rp #disney rpc #titanic rp

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ambyandony · 14 days

Text

heres the limbo fusions with the rest of the vento aureo main protags

Limbo + Mista

Mimbo - any pronouns

"Are u lost bbygrl? :)"

(They give a weird stare if asked for a full name. They only use Mimbo, even though it’s a combination of Limbo’s forename and Mista’s surname.)

most stable Limbo fusion merely by virtue of Mista’s simple ability to just not give a fuck.

GET YOUR GUN OUT OF YOUR CLEAVAGE!

bitch gon step on my fuckin toe bitch with them fuckin cowgirl fuckin boots

VITALLY important that you know that despite being easily mistaken as fem on first glance, Mimbo also has the deepest voice of any Limbo fusion for literally no reason other than it’s funny to me. They also have sideburns

Stand: Mighty Wings - Redirects Signals. Still a colony Stand, looks like tiny little pastel fighter jets!

Limbo + Abbacchio

Lio Adkio - they/them

“Don’t say SHIT about my mascara or my eyeliner.”

“In fact, don’t fucking look at me or I’ll have to kill you or myselves.”

stable only because when Limbo started panicking in the mindspace, Abbacchio simply pointed and snapped at her to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. and she did so immediately.

nicer than Abbacchio. not by that much, though… but weirdly apologetic about it.

the eyeliner doesn’t appear to be due to crying, it seems that it just looks like that.

bazongas?

Stand: Keeping The Faith? Never Too Late? Shawty like a melody-

“rewinds” signals to previous states or connections and/or can do a “replay” of those signals’ succeeded actions (i.e. having a phone replay a prior conversation) Unfortunately, it’s pretty useless in combat.

Limbo + Giorno

Glimbo Giovadkins - she(?)/they/them

“Wouldn’t you like to hear one of my 765 fun facts about aerodynamics, animals or Air Bud?”

“I also have a few facts about botany, blood and birds.”

stable, until they’re not. they’re incredibly calm and delightful, but when they think someone’s mad at them they panic and start excessively apologising.

genuinely the softest cutest sweetest lil bitch you’ve ever seen. also traumatised with a guilty conscience and can flip on a dime in a terrifying way.

shortest Limbo fusion for no clear reason? shorter than both Limbo and Giorno.

Squalo’s worst fear.

sounds pretty much how you would expect.

Stand: Crystal Dolphin - can transform signals into life—by taking the signals out of something, typically disabling it, they can create life like Gold Experience can. The more complex the device, the bigger its potential creation.

Limbo + Buccellati

Bimbo Luno Adkellati - they/them

"...I've lost the conversation. I'm gonna go make pizza!"

Megan Thee Stallion?!

has no idea what’s going on for some reason? always looks a little confused and loses track of conversations very quickly.

very good with kids! practically unable to have a coherent conversation with Abbacchio. They don’t seem too distressed, but they just stop making much sense and seem to confuse themselves.

Stand: When Doves Cry? Perhaps Freewill? Uhm… I don’t know? Maybe it can sort of, ‘zip’ signals together, combining two or more functions into one sent signal? Bruno's ability is just so specific... I can't think of many ideas.

Limbo + Fugo

Fimbo (Pannalimbo Adkigo) - they/them

"STOP TALKING ABOUT FREUD BEFORE I KILL YOU WITH MY FUCKING BRACELETS!!!"

( Note: all currently depicted instances of Fimbo seem to be post-PHF, as Fimbo is almost always seen with the mouth scars hidden by the tattoo.)

enemy of the state. punches fascists. lovecore punk goth. in terms of authority figures they only respect Buccellati and Limbo’s dad.

AuDHD trauma poster child. Short fuse but very friendly until something sets them off and they start screaming and or burst into fucking tears.

Self-love in the sense that the fusionmates care about each other deeply and both sides are trying to look out for the other knowing the other won't look out for themself.

Stand: Cabin Fever - Terrifying deathly virus that, rather than being airborne like Purple Haze, is passed though signal transmission. Fimbo doesn’t know if the virus is the same as Purple Haze, a different strain of it, or something entirely different. It spreads most quickly through vocal communication between two people.

Limbo + Narancia

Nimbus Ghirgins - he/they/she

"tummyache... :("

Libby why does my stomach feel like it’s going to fucking collapse in on itself and why are my knuckles torn? aren’t they supposed to bruise when you punch?

bad relationship with food. Hanahaki disease, what are you doing here? (/ij)

sometimes they find Mista sitting around, sit next to him and fall asleep on him immediately

incredibly bad with emotions and doesn’t even get angry they just get overwhelmed instantly at any presence of significant emotion

Stand: Falling in Love/Hard on the Knees - who the fuck let this kid control CO2 emissions?? They can barely control themselves???

#jjba #back on my fusion bullshit #i think they are goiung to take me away soon applejack #vento aureo #pannacotta fugo #narancia ghirga #guido mista #bruno buccellati #bruno bucciarati #team buccellati #leone abbacchio #giorno giovanna #jjba oc #jojo oc #Limbo Adkins #fanstands #amby draws #my art #cw: ed #tw ed implied #see limbos got an ED but all other components are able to handle or 'alleviate' that in a semi-casual way #Mistas carefree attitude comes with a lot less insecurity and mista loves to cook while limbo will eat anything he cooks if shes offered it #in the case of Lio Abbacchio actually has most of the control because limbo is scared of/respects him (for some reason)#but they're mentally unstable and generally concerning for other reasons #namely lacking a will to live #glimbo sort of does a whole steven universe here-comes-a-thought type business to address the problems directly as much as they can #lunos parental instincts override everything else so anytime they dont know what to do theyre like #mm im gonna go cook. and then as a result they end up eating just because That's The Way Things Work #fimbo is (as mentioned) a fusion where the two sides know the other won't care for themself. So both sides are caring for each other instea #also fugo establishes a routine and both of these audhd bitches know if they deviate from the routine they will explode

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itsbungatime · 8 months

Text

The NG++ variant for Reach the Convergence is so funny to me when i think about it from snail's perspective. Like, you're waiting in the sewers to ambush this shitheel merc that thinks they're outsmarting you. Your useless simp of a subordinate and the idiot defector have both died, as planned, and the dog is soon to clean up the last of the dirty work. Your brain is so big. And then the comms go out. Sure. Fine. Whatever. Not like anyone other than you and MAYBE Freud can do anything right in this company anyway. Now you'll just have to wait a few minutes to poke out and make sure they're in prime position for you to throw a rail accelerated toaster into the bathtub. No big deal. And then something from your 2-o'clock, high, fucking slags your entire MT squad and (probably) just about throws you on your ass. Lo and behold it's the very same bastard you're here to muzzle. You don't know how they found you and it really doesn't matter because now you can just fucking kill them. You'll get answers from the wreck. So you're about a minute or so into this fight and you're not all that worried because You Are Arquebus and then another one? seriously? the fuck????? Not only was your interception intercepted, that interception got intercepted by a different guy, who you also hate, who is here to do pretty much the exact same thing you are. And in the end, this is the death of you, because you have been unwittingly led into the exact position you never wanted to be in; in a pit, between two bloodthirsty hounds. I like to think ALLMIND took one look at Snail and said "oh no, there's only room for one smug intellectual in this blasted hellscape and it does not get to be you, meatbag".

#armored core 6 #spoilers for NG++#armored core 6 spoilers #i love ayre even though she has nothing to do with this

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whumblr · 11 months

Text

Bookish

The call of her name made her stop in her tracks, just a few paces beyond his open office door. Cautiously, she took the two steps backwards and arched her back to glance inside.

He sat at his desk, a soft scowl on his face as if she’d actively interrupted him. He’d probably looked up when he noticed her walk past. With a callous gesture of his hand he waved her in.

“What are you doing?”

“Just walking.” She stood rigid in front of his desk, forcing herself to make eye contact. As if she was trying to hide some form of guilt. Was she? Had she been caught doing something she shouldn’t? There was no rule for walking around this stupid house and if there was it was worth to pick a fight over. Maintaining eye contact, she silently dared him to start one.

A sly smirk started forming at his lips and he sat back, the leather chair creaking under his weight. “If you’re bored or otherwise unhappy with your time, I can think of some ways to spend it.”

“That’s not necessary. I’m not bored,” she said stone-faced, now knowing that there were 1185 bricks covering the bare walls of her room, 1054 tiles in the bathroom, and 86 ways to kill him in the cutlery drawer. 86 recipes for disaster. 86 ways for him to return the compliment. Whatever you wanted to call it.

He hummed and she could hear that he didn’t believe her.

Then, abruptly, he shoved his chair backwards and stood. “Come with me.”

She froze. “To the basement?”

“No,” he said, tone lightly exasperated and with a soft tsk.

To her surprise, his hand merely brushed over her elbow as he walked past, a soft incentive to follow, instead of his usual death grip while dragging her along. She turned and cautiously went after him.

“I’d rather not have you clawing up the walls out of boredom,” he said, feeling around in his pocket and pulling out a key.

“Funny, I’d rather claw up something else.”

“My point...” They didn’t walk far. He opened the door next to his office, led her inside, and flicked on the light.

She couldn’t help a small gasp.

And for once during her extended stay here, it wasn’t in fear or dread.

With a soft “Oh” her eyes roamed over the absolutely stacked walls. Rows and rows of bookshelves crossed over the walls, from floor to ceiling, all filled to their utmost capacity but still neatly packed without clutter or stacked up books on top of each other. There wasn’t a bare speck of wall left.

In the middle of the room stood a large table to work on, but near the window in a little niche was a nice comfy leather armchair.

Who knew he was hiding a personal little library inside this prison he called a mansion…

“Most are on psychology and psychiatry, some physiology,” he said, letting his fingers slide over the spines absentmindedly, “but I gather you have an interest in that...” He glanced over his shoulder, eyes following her as she roamed about, her lips still parted in pleasant surprise.

Even if they were on bricklaying or motorbikes, this still beat sitting in a room staring at the wall and waiting for the next bout of pain. But yes, she had to admit, they had a common interest here.

“All these books,” she couldn’t help herself, “and you still haven’t found the one that explains what’s wrong with you.”

His lips tugged in a smile. He stepped forward and pulled out a book, casually handing it to her. “I thought we’d agreed on sadism.”

She accepted the book – Freud – turning it over and scanning the blurb. “Maybe I can find out by myself...”

“You’re welcome to spend your time in here. Just don’t make a mess, put everything back where it belongs. You can do that?”

She’d noticed everything was in alphabetic order and nodded absentmindedly, head tilted as her eyes roaming over the titles. “I can count to K.” She pulled out a book on physiology (always convenient to learn about some weak spots) and stacked it on the book he gave her.

“Know that this is a privilege,” he droned on. “It can be taken away again.”

"Yes, yes…” She didn’t ask what she’d done to deserve this. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Probably there was something in it for him – her not clawing his eyes out due to boredom, for example. Or maybe it was a good leverage point if she just refused to do as he said (again). Violence didn’t work (yet), but taking away something she loved… Well, she’d cross that bridge when they got there…

“And when I call for you, you will answer. I have a schedule to keep, after all.”

“What, you have a schedule for your torture times?”

“It’s more when the mood strikes. And I’m starting to get in the mood,” he finished in a dark tone.

She got the hint and remained silent, walking away from him and putting her stack of books down on the table with a heavy satisfying thud.

“No 'thank you'?” he murmured, but she ignored him, keeping her eyes and focus on the pages in front of her. “Well, I can always wring one out later…”

Continued here

Tagging: @firewheeesky @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @hold-back-on-the-comfort @whumpawink @painsandconfusion @scribbelle

#just a lil something lady angsty #lady whump #something a lil different #I could almost call this 'comfort'... almost #captivity #whumpers can be nice #angst #implied torture #snarky whumpee #defiant whumpee #my writing #whump drabble #need to write more lady stuff

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iamumbra195 · 2 months

Text

Tomura's Psyche

So while Chapter 419 was absolutely devastating, I find a lot of what AfO said in this chapter kind of enlightening. Most of his monologues tend to go over my head but this one was really interesting to me because he used the terms 'superego' and 'id'.

(I'm really obsessed with psychology rn but I've still only taken one course and read a bunch of articles so forgive me if I get anything wrong)

According to Sigmund Freud, a personality is composed of three elements known as the id, ego, and superego.

The id is essentially your basic desires, needs, and impulses and is not affected by reality, logic, or the everyday world, as it operates within the unconscious part of the mind. It operates on a pleasure principle in which every impulse must be satisfied immediately and when the impulse is denied, a person experiences displeasure. Think of it like the devil whispering in your ear for you to do whatever you want. The id is split into two base instincts known as the Eros (life instinct) and Thanatos (death instinct). Eros helps the individual survive, directing life-sustaining activities such as respiration, eating, and sex (Freud was obsessed with sex, don't look at me he was weird af). Thanatos is essentially the destructive forces everyone has access to and when directed outwards, it is often expressed as aggression and violence. Freud believed that Eros was stronger than Thanatos, thus enabling people to survive rather than self-destruct.

However, when we look at this panel

I don't think AfO fully suppressed his id because that would make no sense since Tomura's whole thing was his hatred and desire to destroy everything stemming from 'that house'. Rather, AfO suppressed his life instinct or Eros, making it so that he was driven by his death instinct and would self-destruct and react with violence and aggression to things that he didn't like.

This is essentially what Tomura was like at the beginning when he was still being 'mentored' by AfO. He was impulsive and rash, destroying whatever he wanted without any thought for the consequences. He was also incredibly self-destructive, scratching at his skin until it bled and not taking care of his body the way he should.

But he changed, didn't he? After AfO was locked in Tartarus, he changed and matured as a person.

Which brings us to the second part of someone's personality, known as the ego. The ego develops during infancy to mediate between the unrealistic id and the real external world by finding reasonable ways to achieve the id's demands. It is the decision-making component of personality. Ideally, the ego works by reason, whereas the id is chaotic and unreasonable. Freud describes the ego as "part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world.”

This pretty much perfectly summarizes what happens to Tomura when AfO is detained and he's forced to mature and act as a true leader to their ragtag group of broke villains. He's willing to do things differently, to delay the satisfaction of doing what he wants in exchange for a more favourable outcome (which is known as delayed gratification in psychology). Like when he was working with Overhaul, he didn't particularly want to work with him and most definitely wanted to kill him but that wouldn't benefit the league in any way so he went about it in a smarter way, using the heroes' invasion to get what he wanted, which was to hurt Overhaul, and what benefited the league, which was the quirk destroying drug.

And now finally, the third element of someone's personality, is known as the superego. The superego develops during the ages of 3 to 5, incorporating the values and morals of society, which are commonly learned from one’s parents. It motivates us to behave in socially acceptable manners and is essentially there to control the id's impulses that society forbids such as violence.

In this panel

AfO calls Tenko Tomura's superego but until recently, Tenko's been caged in Tomura's head. The beliefs he'd picked up from his parents were still in his unconscious, still embedded in his actions and decisions with him being none the wiser.

Especially when you compare these two scenes.

Despite losing his hatred and grief, he's still fighting because he knows the league, his chosen family, was relying on him.

A family that looks out for one another because the heroes failed them all.

So in conclusion, AfO has been manipulating Tomura's life and personality to fit his needs and because of this, Tomura has been unstable as fuck since he was a kid and desperately needs help that I doubt he's going to be able to get before he dies.

#my hero academia #mha #boku no hero academia #bnha #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #all for one #FUCK HIM #I hate him so much #GOD #he ruined a perfectly normal little boy #he ruined a family that was trying to do it's best #mha 419 #tomura cares about the league so much #they're his family #I'm gonna cry #psychology

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thecaptainoutoftime · 3 months

Text

"You amaze me."

"Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in... or are you out?"

Happy 25th Anniversary to Cruel Intentions

March 5th 1999-March 5th 2024

#Cruel Intentions #Kathryn Merteuil #Sebastian Valmont #Cecil Hardgrove #Annette Hargrove #Sarah Michelle Gellar #Ryan Phillippe #Reese Witherspoon #Selma Blair

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zeldasnotes · 2 years

Text

Some quotes that reminded me of some placements.📝

Lilith aspecting Sun/Ascendant:

”Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud.” -Cruel Intenions

Sun in the 8th house:

”Im not happy and bubbly, Im dark and cloudy. Because im the type of crazy person who feels bad for serial killers. ” -Greys Anatomy

Saturn 2nd house:

”Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.” -10 things I hate about you

Asteroid Maniac(228029) in the 1st house/conjunct Sun:

”Did you know Im utterly insane?” -American Psycho

Scorpio Midheaven/Pluto 10th house:

”Don't get too cocky, my boy. No matter how good you are, don't ever let them see you coming. That's the gaffe, my friend. You gotta keep yourself small. Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... sh*t-kickin' serf. Look at me. Underestimated from day one. You'd never think I was a master of the universe, now would ya?” -The Devils Advocate

Libra Rising:

”Vanity is definitely my favorite sin”-The Devils Advocate

Venus aspecting Pluto:

”The Opposite of love isnt hate. Its indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we’re still connected.” -Desperate Housewives

Moon Square Pluto/Saturn:

”My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone”-American Psycho

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astronotes #ascendant #lilith #lilith aspects #lilith in the houses #asteroids

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borathae · 2 days

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Chapter 20

oh what happened to her parents and cookie? when did the fire happen? it says years but years could 2 to 20 but she feels like someone who wont say 2 years sooo ancient, uk? so im going to guess 5+ years ago to 19 years max wait how old is our baby?

And who is that shadow sitting in the dark? WHOS THAT SHADOW HOLDING ME HOSTAGE IVE BEEN HERE FOR DAYS (stockholm syndrome by 1d)

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

yay 2seok 😭we are hurt again 💀 honestly how do they put up with her? (no hate to her), like where is the mom mode? the i told you so? like why are you such caring besties? also why am i feeling like oc is a character themself and me at the same time??? like i dont want her to be scolded, heck she didnt know shit but i wanna be scolded???

“They didn’t, she is just being dramatic. I fed her my blood before she could die, she’ll heal”, Yoongi answers him dryly. wow so normal, and good news

also rip dogecoin dog

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

I am tired of vampires messing with my brain.” mood

oh somebody crying on ur chest and u cant do anything other than tell them "they are strong and was just a child, was never their fault" you know it does nothing much for them, but some comfort for the night, a little amount of time until the pain and demons are back again, that shit hurts a lot, eat me away but i have to strong and fine for her cuz she deserves it fuck im rambling bye lol

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

I don’t want to be the one doing the finishing blow.” .. “How are you so sure?” CUZ U DID THIS TO URSELF INSTEAD OF HURTING HER KOOK, U STILL HATE URSELF, filled with guilt and self loath, it shows ur humanity and the fact that its better you than anyone else heal please, let yourself heal. you did whatever you could, everything is not in your control and hence is not your fault

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

I feel like a bitch, but fuck it’s getting so exhausting to pretend that their sweet gestures are working.” ... “Because I don’t want to hurt them. They are doing so much for me”.. "I don’t want to hurt them by telling them that what they are doing is working shit.” wow somebody really decided to call me out

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

YES SHE CONNECTED THE DOTS MY SMART BABY I LOVE U I smelled orange blossoms and cedarwood ooh thats what they smell like

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?" changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me." NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

Jungkook watches you as you blow your nose and wipe your eyes ... you force down a new wave of sobs... you hit your own chest to get rid of the pain. fuck that pain, that hurts a lot

He knows that gesture, he had done it a million times before in his lonely, isolated life. And it rips him apart to see you having to do it too. You should never have had to feel so broken. fuck i feel the same, knowing how much that hurts and never want them to feel, but kook and her are hurt and nothing can change it

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

“You’re cute Kook”, you tell him fondly, pinching his cheek. He lowers his eyes and scrunches his nose up UWUW THEY ARE SO CUTE SHUT UP PLS

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

“___ stay away, I’m dangerous again”, he squeaks. u were fine just now

right, we cant change his mind, and she cant change her mind either and taehyung just idk ah

You just never should have chatted up Alpha." true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

I got broken up by my boyfriend in the rudest way possible and almost died. fr

“Hey”, Jungkook says, waving his hand shyly. HE IS UP AGAIN YAY

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

“I can’t decide if I like this dude or not” fr hobi

“What did you do in your room yesterday?” she danced to itzy, thats all

“I didn’t slip on the pillow, I tried to kick the pillow and slipped on the carpet which resulted in my twisting my ankle and then falling on my tailbone” beautiful, i can totally see it. cuz i did fall similarly once

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

Jungkook drags himself into the room, plotting down next to you with a loud yawn that exposes the back of his throat to all of you. wow that too in those pink briefs and socks THAT ARE PULLED UP ALL THE WAY worse than what we wear when delivery guy comes

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

He seems to be proud, watching Jungkook with a fond smile. So he did it on purpose. Make him chuckle with a funny story and lessen the anxiety he feels. He is so sweet sometimes. irl its jin the ice breaker and its soo good uknow??

“Stop talking to him like that!” you speak up. PERIODT UR SCARING THE BABY

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

Protection. You think I’ll let you drive without it?”

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

“I don’t like the fucking games you are playing today, you hear me?” “Yoongi pull your knee away this instant” He pulls away immediately and steps back, fixing the heavy rings on his fingers. what a rude but cute distinguished gentleman

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

“you are literally such a good person and I fucking hate it.”yup figured that “You made him good. Taehyung, you gave him back his humanity, made him vulnerable, reminded him what happiness feels like and I hate you for doing this to him.” there, asshole said it

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

“….did you get it?” his voice slowly comes back again, as if you were finally submerging from water, “Save. Him.” bruh, leave his alone for that

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

damn this was long anyways feelings were feelings, emotional as fuck now

in Sanguis Alpha she is around 23-24 and the thing with Cookie happened when she was around 10 😭

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

that would actually be so hot nfdnasf 🥵

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

SCARY SHIT LIKE HELLOO

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

gaah these are the right questions indeed 👀

also rip dogecoin dog

THE DOG DIED??? why would you just drop that so casually noo omfg I'm genuinely so sad right now 😭😭

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

JFAJDSF he gives no fucks and I admire him for that <3

no but I love that she has Hobi to comfort her :( he is such a good person and amazing friend 😭

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

him him him him him !!!!!!!

I SOB BECUASE OF HIM HE IS SO 😭😭😭😭

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

jfjadjf I feel like no matter he would have prepared him, Kookie would have hated them fnadsnf

I feel that, I'm sorry you have to feel this way :(

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT?????

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?" changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me." NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

PLEASE SOMEONE HOLD HER

I feel so sad for them please 😭😭😭😭

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

YES 100% that's me for real

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

hoihihiihihih <3 him <3

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

I LOVE THIS ENERGY FNNF

You just never should have chatted up Alpha." true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

yes 100% it would have happened regardless, especially because Tae clearly had an interest in her (in whatever way) from the beginning, so it would have definitely happened

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

he is so kind and sweet and loving <33 :)

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

he is just a lil pookie :( <3

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

he would probably throw you if you said that to him at this point of the story fjasdjf

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

lmaooao I meaaan

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

HE JUST A LIDDOL BABY (he is meant to be a dangerous killer)

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

LETS GOOOO

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

lmaooaoa me for real

NO BUT HE IS SO CUTE LIKE I NEED HIM

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

thiiss or maybe Yoongi's training is starting to work ohohooh

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

I love him :')

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

yes gaaah I jujst ufcking locve him

yes gosh I miss him </3

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

I love protective Yoongi fnfnf

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

GIRL I FORGOT I WROTE THIS AND LOST MY FUCKING MIND UFKCKCKCKCKKCKC

the meme is me for sanguis Yoongi for fucking real

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

ngnnfadnfn THEM THEM THEM fuck they were so exiciting

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

an i oop-

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

honestly? 100%

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

FUKCCKKC I LOVE THEM FUCKKC I WANT THEM TO HATE FUC-

he is all like "i may be a cunt but i ain't about that sexual harassment" JAHHAHA

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

THEY WERE SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER GAAH

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

fajdsjfajds

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

whooo does he mean helloo??

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

no but what if he isn't lying then waht?? hellooo???

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

HAHAHAH you're like "good thing we almost died"

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #minusback #tw: long post

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myechoecho · 7 months

Text

Moon in the Day, ep 4

This episode was amazing. We got a better idea of their history (and their names, Kim Do Ha and Han Ri Ta.

We went from "no one can kill you but me" to

Initially I thought he didn't think she could do it but no, he genuinely believes that she will and is in fact counting on it.

Do Ha is deeply traumatized by the war and the killing. He has a bad relationship with his adoptive father (understatement). He is in his own personal hell and wants to be released from it.

I do love how he tries to atone to those he's killed and recognizes that even if he asks for forgiveness, it does not mean that he is forgiven. He accepts that.

Ri Ta is interesting in that she does not give an inch when she sees this. Him asking for forgiveness does not change anything or he need to avenge her family. The fact that she demands he live, find meaning in life so that it is more painful for him when she does kill him is just an additional level of fucked up I was not expecting.

I'm also pretty sure that his father is the one chasing them when they die. Maybe his father is the being who is trying to kill them in the present? At the very least whomever that being may be, they are closely tied to the past.

I wonder if the purpose of the car accident was to get Yeong Hwa to remember her previous life. Before she would dream but not remember. Now she remembers the dream and it is very vivid. We also see that Ri Ta was not as unaffected by Do Ha as she seemed, even from the start. Her heart fluttered.

Things look like they will get messier, because Yeong Hwa called him "my lord". In all her previous lives, she has remembered nothing but now she's remembering even if it is a dream. I think she may genuinely be Ri Ta.

For Do Ha, the present is overlapping with the past. This is the first time he's been in a physically body after1500 years, instead of a ghost tied to her. Yeong Hwa looks like Ri Ta and she is saying the same/similar things as before, down to her demanding that he live. "As long as I exist, you will never die" has a different meaning for Do Ha. This is why he's hesitating - he needs to know if she is actually Ri Ta

Despite everything, I think Do Ha would make the same choices if given a chance. He knew the risks keeping his enemy's daughter alive in secret, even if he wanted to die. But she also gave him some peace and happiness in life. Do Ha at this point is just tired and wants release after 1500. Plus he misses Ri Ta.

As for him asking who she is, talking about 1500 years ago I suspect she will chalk it up to the Oxy.

Look as his face in that preview:

The little interaction before is the most playful we've seen Do Ha. Though I'm not sure why Yeong Hwa is so concerned over a book about Sigmund Freud.

#moon in the day #kdrama

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carefulfears · 9 months

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How do you think it played out between Mulder and Diana? I picture him as being very vulnerable after Phoebe, so to go into another relationship with someone who's also quite manipulative and actually trust them enough to get married... I'd be interested to know your thoughts on what that marriage was like, and the divorce

honestly i think the pipeline from phoebe to diana was just wideeee open like…i don’t see him as having been closed off after phoebe. even though he clearly recognizes things between them as having been bad (he jokes about her having “driven a stake” through him, he jokes about her cheating, he refers to her mind games and the way she just wants to hurt him as “classic phoebe greene”)

but he still….calls her “brilliant” and puts himself in a position of blame (“i got in over my head”) and helps her when she asks. he is still open to her. and he’s open to diana, when she comes back, after having left him. they’re kind and civil to each other. in the end, when she keeps pressing him about scully, he says “i’ve done okay without you,” and it’s not harsh. it’s a reassurance. i’m alright. it’s okay.

all to say that…i don’t think it was a matter of trust, or trusting someone again after phoebe. mulder never really struggles with trust, for all his talk. he’s always walking into the world with a hand out, no matter how many times it’s bitten. and no matter how aware he is of people’s true selves or behavior.

that’s what fucking kills me about mulder in relation to abuse, it’s that he knows. he doesn’t try to convince himself or anyone else that it’s not that bad, that it’s not on purpose, that they’re not hurting him. he knows. he knows that phoebe just wants to watch him walk through fire, and he walks. and for as much as he defends diana and doesn’t want to believe that she was involved in syndicate work, i think he knows that their relationship wasn’t healthy.

(children weaned on poison consider harm a comfort etc etc. children weaned on blame string themselves up on the cross)

so i think you’re right that he was vulnerable after phoebe, in the sense that he’s already been so burned, and is so aware, and he all but goes back for more. but…diana isn’t phoebe. phoebe was college affairs and trysts in graveyards and red hot fire. diana is established. diana is older. diana is…cold.

where phoebe would look away until he was apologizing and begging, diana stares him down. she never backs away. she never wavers, even in her most egregious lies.

i’m sure we’re all tired of me affirming freud, but diana is so much like his mother you guys. they both have that same quietly understated bite. they both know so much more than they let on. they both respond the exact same way to his questioning. (“fox, please. don’t do this.” / “nothing could be further from the truth, fox. nothing.”)

there’s a great post here on what draws mulder to diana, that touches on the difference between her and phoebe:

Mulder, who has never been loved properly by anyone since his little sister, flourishes in her company. She is evidently attracted to him, and he’s attracted to her, a slightly older, slow-moving woman. What does he have to compare her with? Phoebe, who belittled and gaslighted him? Compared to Phoebe, Diana is stable, level-headed, understanding, present, dedicated, encouraging, and admiring of his talents.

they’re both manipulative, and abusive, but diana knows what she’s doing. diana knows what moves to make.

the way she speaks to him is just so purposeful, you guys. her first line on the series is telling a room full of people that she thinks he’s right. that she believes him. she “takes his side” to scully. (and she belittles scully to him, like phoebe did. tells him that she just wonders how far he could go, with someone who really believed him). “fox, i’m going to get out of the car now. i’m alone, okay?”

she knows him. and he responds exactly as she knows he will: the very first script note about her character is that she’s anticipating mulder’s reactions. she addresses his fears and insecurities. (in the end when she tells him that she was impressed with him for his “good catch” on the videotape, he can’t even look at her. he turns his whole body away from her before shaking his head and responding: “oh. you would’ve caught it eventually.”)

a lot of this is learned over years (if they were together from when he graduated the academy, until the discovery of the x-files in 1991, that puts their relationship at around 5 years. from ‘86 to ‘91) but a lot of this is just…..them. just their dynamic.

i said this in my first post on the topic, but, he would’ve married her. if he’d walk through fire, he’d get married. if he’d search for family in extraterrestrial life, he’d get married. he’s a legacy government employee from martha’s vineyard. and he eats out of the palm of her hand, even a decade after she left him. (which isn’t even to say that she would’ve had to initiate marriage. but there’s also a certain level of….it’s just what you do. especially in upper class new england circles.)

he was young, and he was the FBI’s golden boy. he was “the best analyst in the violent crime section.” he was writing monographs that would catch the biggest serial killers. he was being talked about in the academy. that sort of thing matters to diana. even after she comes back, she speaks of following his work. having “an interest” in it. wanting him to be successful.

she looks genuinely concerned in one son, when he says that he feels like he should just give up. it seems like it throws her off, where she usually has the upper hand.

as far as how the marriage went, i think it was short, and cold, and lonely. in the flashbacks of travelers, it’s 1990, he’s wearing a ring, he tells arthur dales that he does not speak to his father.

as far as the divorce, i think she just left. i think it’s implied in her line: “sometimes i hear about you…and i think how it might’ve been if i’d stayed.”

1991: the x-files are discovered, diana gets a job in europe. i love that they worked cases together, in the beginning. she’s the original x-files partner, and she never lets go of that. there’s almost a threat in her voice, every time she throws it in both mulder and scully’s faces. (especially: “hey. you and i found the x-files together. don’t forget that.” …everything that he has, she helped build.)

i really love this fic that goes through mulder and diana’s relationship, it’s completely in line with how i view her character and their dynamic. but i especially come back to the chapter where mulder opens a file on samantha. and diana realizes, after all their adventures looking for psychics in hospitals, that this is going to be something very different, very quickly.

“spooky mulder” wasn’t always crazy and basement dwelling. he used to be the best analyst in the violent crime section. he used to be revered, and respected, for how “scary” quickly his mind works. that’s diana’s husband.

but so quickly, he becomes so enmeshed in so much trauma, and loss. the way he talks in the pilot, he tells scully that he just went to oxford and then went to the fbi, and when she asks what he did after samantha disappeared, he says that he was….good at profiling. that he was successful, and that allowed him room to pursue other interests. he finds the x-files. he spends 2 years trying to get the unit opened. and very quickly, he’s alone in the basement.

as far as the syndicate plays in, i go back and forth. sometimes i think they had hands in diana the whole time, and just pulled her out when the x-files were established. but mostly, i think they probably recruited her in ‘91. they wouldn’t really have much cause to have someone on mulder, before then.

so i think, most likely, the x-files are discovered. at first, it’s interesting, it’s in line with her own personal work in parapsychology, it’s something she’s into. something she believes in. but mulder is so myopic, and his obsessive tendencies are not progressing him anymore. he’s not advancing or respected anymore. things start to fall apart. the syndicate approach her, recruit her out to europe.

diana wants to be doing the work. i don’t think she perceives it as being opposite sides.

y’all remember that week where mulder could read minds? this is what diana says:

I know you know. I know you know about me... That my loyalties aren't just to you... but to a man you've grown to despise. You have your reasons but, as you look inside me now you know that I have mine. Fox... Fox, I love you. I've loved you for so long. You know that, too.

she has her reasons. and, the way she sees it, so does he. the way she sees it, she has loyalties to them both.

and diana does love him, she dies for him. “you know that, too.”

doesn’t it mean something, to know? to not be playing games? not be walking through fire? to be looked in the eye, even when it’s nothing but lies?

doesn’t it mean something, to be committed? i’ve said this before, but mulder and diana are grandfathered in. no one is allowed to speak on or to either of them, in the other’s eyes. even after nearly a decade apart, they still have a place with each other. they stand on each other’s ground. (everything he has, she built.)

there’s a lot of convoluted complexities between them that i could go on forever and ever about, and there’s so much purposeful maneuvering. it’s not just diana’s gaslighting and manipulation, it’s so much above and below her. ultimately, they are little more than pawns in a game. but mostly, i just think she was there, and she was knowledgeable and controlling and respectful in a time where he didn’t have much direction. and that goes a long way.

#?#asks #diana

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