if gojo doesn’t win this then it’s proof that all men do is lie bc why tf did you tell me in season one you’d win and have me all cozied up with no worries like “yeah trust. my man got this !!” only to make a fool out of the both of us. i’m never trusting nobody again this is not a game ok my mental health is not a game

The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology Review (or me slowly going from spiraling in excitement to madness to sadness in 1 hour):

The Black Dog-

SO GOOD THIS IS SO GOOD IM YELLING THIS HAS MY FAV PRODUCTIKN THUS FAR I STILL XANT BELIEVE IT EITHER TAYLOR WHAT TGE FUCK | listen 2 cause I was to hype to truly listen, the magic fabric of her dreamin’ 🥺, oh the original father cheated song, DO YOU HATE ME? ooooof the fact that she felt made fun of by him and still went on to do her shit is so strong and I love her, your honor

imgonnagetyouback-

This one is VERY GOLD RUSH and I’m in love (I’m so sorry I’m not gonna be able to be unbiased rn because I’m too fucking excited), the ahh ahhhhs are so GOOOOOOODDDDD

The Albatross-

“One less temptress one less dagger to sharpen” OOF I feel like I’m in terrible danger of a heart attack, Taylor, I-I Love This Song So Much it’s so folklore

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus-

THIS IS SO GOOOOOOOOOD TAYLOR WHAY THE FUCK MAN, Certified Horse Girl, I’m gonna need to be medicated after this

How Did It End?-

I HEREBY CONDUCT THIS POSTMORTEM IS SUCH A HARD LINE TO START A SONG WITH, the amount of piano overall in these pleases me IMMENSELY, SITTING IN A TREE D-Y-I-N-G yeah Taylor that’s what YOU ARE DOING TO ME

So High School-

THIS IS WHAT I WANTED THE WHOLE ALBUM TO BE, 💯 made to vibe like a coming of age story, “YOU GONNA MARRY KISS OR KILL ME” I LOVE HER, bridge goes HARD

I Hate It Here-

scared to go outside, OH MU GOD JUST THE WHOLE SONG I KEEP WANTING TO WRITE LYRICS DOWN, so folklore, this ones it, ITS IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH

thanK you aIMee-

Oh so we cheated okay Joe I see how it is your days are numbered, SING FUCK YOU AIMEE, HELL YEAH TAYLOR, ID WRIT A THOUSAND SONGS THE YOU FIND UNCOOL, ITS ON SIGHT, OH ITS HAPPY NOW YAY

I Look in People’s Windows-

Okay stalker much lol, this one is sad :(, very pretty though I’m sorry I can’t focus on the lyrics I’m too hype, very folklore so very sad

The Prophecy-

THIS SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER SONG BUT I CANT PLACE IT it’s gonna kill me, “who do I have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy” rip my heart out my god, DONT NEED MONEY JUST SOMEONE WHO WANTS MY COMPANY, also a very sad one

Cassandra-

snake mention 🐍, THE ALTO UNDERLAY OH MY GOD, I normally am not the largest fan of vocal layering when it’s this obviously but this is absolutely lovely, this one tells a VERY GOOD story, “BUT THEY NEVER SPARED A BRICK FOR MY SOUL” OOOOOOF

Peter-

the piano started off this song and I immediately smiled and it ends up being such a bittersweet song, “promises oceans deep but never to keep” these songs rip my heart more and more and more, CAUSE LOVES NEVER LOST WHEN PERSPECTIVE IS EARNED this really hurt me, this longing hurts me

The Bolter-

She’s a runner she’s a track star! THE CHORUS ugh I love it Taylor why do you have to be so good, yeah this one was very good and I relate to being scared of commitment after heartache SOOO MUCH

Robin-

“Strings tied to lovers” IM CRYING, “ALL THIS SHOWMANSHIP TO KEEP IT” JOSEPH YOU FUMBLED SO HARD, THE INVISIBLE STRING RIFF IM ALREADY CRYING YOU DIDNT NEED TO DO THAT TO ME, i will never be able to listen to this song and invisible string in the same day I think it’s genuinely break me

The Manuscript-

the opening piano made me close my eyes and take a deep breath in, New Year’s Day vibes BUT SAD, oh god you know what I’ll kill him, I’ll take the hit, she knew what the agony had been for 🥹 fuck

First Listen Overall- 10/10

I have no notes it was everything I dreamed the actual album would be Taylor please let me buy this on vinyl I need to have it in my grasp also please give me the lyrics written out so I can analyze it plz

I don’t have a favorite they are all my favorite you could pay me to choose

this is such a contrast to my last confession but erm

honestly, wish my yfm phase ended like idk, around the same time most people's yfm phase ended (which was around idfk mid 2023?) cause now its a pretty dead fandom (shoutout to that one twt oomf of mine who let me ramble about yfm to them, ily dude/p) with the possibility of ray cancelling yfm 50/50. i do hope i don't sound like im begging that guy to release songs everyday but my point is, idk man, kinda miss tht kinda short-lasted hype around yfm in 2022-early 2023. like i was so excited because i discovered this dumbass (/lh) band in like 2021 and i was so sad it was retired because i loved their songs so only god could describe my excitement when june 1 came, and to be honest, dont wanna sound like a bitch but some of their gen 2 songs disappointed me but i was happy otherwise. and the talent this fandom has like GOD YOU ALL ARE SO TALENTED (except for some of you, you know what im talking about). i dont even know why it hasn't ended yet, perhaps because yfmblr has cool shit and some of the "lore" you guys found out about puff and your hcs and all made me go "he kinda just like me ??" that and i gotta talk about ray's content too. like yeah, welcome to part 10 of "wow smth i liked is now bad! fuck me!" dude, that guy has sm potential in comedy, loved his old shorts and videos. like who tf told that guy to, idk, make those types of crime videos ??? like im serious, where and how. HE'S EVEN COLLABORATING WITH DHAR MANN GOD HAS TO BE KIDDIGN MEEEE. ray please do you need some life-changing video to convince you to do those shorts again. because i can do it bro please i miss the silly shorts. like does he not realize how his views dropped or how most of us dont like the new content or?? like what prompted this man to do these crime videos with shit ai art anyways thanks for listening to my rant, you, yfm-confessions and featheredcartoonist are my favs on yfmblr, and one of my favs on tumblr. i feel like you guys bring that old feeling of the hellyeahyourfavoritemartian blog :3 i didn't have tumblr that early to read them but based off the wayback machine, it looked really cool and fun actually. like ray noticed it whay the hell. anyways wish both of the admins a great day ! take care <3 - ❄️🎀

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!! i still have a lot of faith in things turning around cuz thats just me being me. if theres a dead fandom, its chance of resurgence is running on my hope LMAO

HONESTLY THE YFM FANDOM KINDA COMES ALIVE AGAIN WITH EVERY NEW SONG THAT'S RELEASED.

AND YEAH. I TRULY GENUINELY HOLE RAY OPENS HIS EYES AND REALIZES THAT COMEDY IS WHAT HE DOES BEST AND WHAT EVERYONE ENJOYS!!!!

also feathered cartoonist whos that

(monologuing in the park with the birds) you see, well, im actually the most tortured man alive bc frankly one of the few things i ever really wanted to explore f*nfiction for - which i must censor not to keep my tongue clean, but lest i call upon demons on this here website as i type it up - was star trek tos, and listen my loves, i dont rlly care that much for aos at all and i just stay away from it bc i know i would hate it and it'd make me angry so bad so why on earth would i watch it you know, my loves, like simply in the "oh heavens this just isnt for me... this just isnt at all is it sniff sniff sniff" manner, and im not so fussy since i KNOW its some people's cup of tea you know and i do terribly respect that, i have loved and admired and respected aos fans and theres nothing wrong love is love, but also allow me the fact that oh christ alive on the + and oh the late christ on the + too (lets cover our bases) it just- oh we cant get into that now, as people will think im positively loopy, but oh... oh goodness me. oh goodness me. the fleeting fanbase it had (still has, but it boomed and fizzled you know) because of COURSE it came out at a time when fanficcers were particularly feral in, likw, 2009-mid 2010s im not sure... well it did awful numbers on the kirk/spock selection of RECENT fanfiction (as we all know, there are archives stretching back yonks- but forgive me, i do want more recent works) and you see, the plague it unleashed perhaps it did save me in that regard, perhaps it did carry my soul from damnation, because every time i read about aos kirk/spock dynamic i get onto all fours and start wretching like a cat with hairballs stuck in its gullet and yet that characterisation is somehow what dominates the dreaded a-triple-o site that also shalt not be named directly lest i, again, put out the flypaper for the flies so to speak, where even ayy ohhh essss fics are just tagged as "tos too!" like you can SAY that! it isnt TRUE. and its all the very worstly types, and all: why the dickens does my star trek fanfiction smell like a teen wolf fanfiction here? hard to quite describe what i mean, but listen my girls aos already ripped of twok WHY must you go ahead and cannibalise tos for the tarsus plot and load that also on james t kirk (aos) who oh. oh im so angry i hate james t kirk (aos) i'll get him you see oh my goodness me... aos contributing to all the misconceptions abt spock and kirk in popular culture, even canonising them in the new timeline which okay dokay sniff sniff, if thats whay you want to do but you're making me a little sad, a little miserable, and mister jayjee abrams you didnt NEED to tell us you barely watched tos i could tell bc even if you did justify it within the plot i can tell you werent a tos fan with the direction you took this all in, and for all these silly little fics to be like its like aos and its like tos babe when you know damn well that simply is not the case my beloved.... charged enemies to lovie dovies (eek) is fine have fun with that elsewhere, which i feel a little ill calling it THAT, you know, i hate saying terms like that with my heart and not as a silly little joke but well thats what it is and the thing is saying this but i dont uhm. mindddd that dynamic between two characters i guess in other cases, but oh oh oh (shakes like a pathetic wet dog) whys it in my house? in my kirk and spock? as kirk dreamily gazes into mister spocks eyes and says why you almost make me believe in miracles, i assure you there was never a bone in his body that held disregard for my bestie babe mister spock. and all the characterisation for kirk in particular, aos kirk in particular- its just the worst, most agonising thing ive ever seen, and my dear thomes who bless their heart has only seen aos was rather shocked when i informed him "no my love it isnt like this at all in tos" like oh dear oh dear my dears if you follow me you must know i dont at all like aos kirk/spock which fine if you do but cries softly .... dont mischaracterise me, it simply isnt ME- and back to the point

because you see, on the dreaded red and white webbed site, i used the filters... wahh... i used the filters so many times its like a coffee in here, baby! its like a fish tank in here, baby! <- choose whichever one of those sentences takes your pleasure and your fancy. but i used oh so many of them. and you know what? i still god the damn greek alphabet soup porn too an all! WOE is me, WOE is me! (digs my own grave and sniffles quite a bit whilst i do so) i cant even wail for i am spent on coke zeros in the vending machine

Brainstorming about my yokai watch ocs: Dimmy and Gorgeous Ambassador, the most cutest family

* My Dimmy's name is Blythe and they are nonbinary. Gorgeous Ambassador is male and i dont have a name for him yet. I was thinking maybe try and make up a dub name for kageusuo (anime exclusive pre evolution) that sounds like it could have been his nickname as a human? Cos his story is that he used to be a wandering mercenary in ye olde ninja times, i feel like itd be fitting.

* Blythe is the main partner of my protagonist in my yokai watch lp, basically the jibanyan of the anime of my heart. Their personality is mostly similar to the Dimmy in the anime, but i feel like theyre maybe older and more powerful than the average Dimmy? Like a weak low evolution yokai thats stayed unevolved for centuries and is actually more skilled and world weary than you'd assume. Protag just got lucky that she bumped into this one super magikarp, lol! Also i like to draw them looking more teenage age by just taking the regular Dimmy design and making the tail extra super long. They stand roughly twice as tall as the protagonist and can wrap around her shoulders like a scarf :3 Blythe is however totally unaware of their super powerful mega skill and is very self depreciating and low confidence. But Mallory totally sees them as a cool older sibling mentor figure and is always trying to figure out ways to make their tol squiggle friend feel included and valued :3

* the way Gorgeous Ambassador comes into the picture is that he was actually the same sort of figure to Blythe! Back in the ninja era Blythe was partners with another human, but he passed away in tragic circumstances and it led to their current depressed self. However he actually reincarnated as a yokai and has been trying to find his lil sibling ever since! I feel like he was a failure samurai who tried to protect people but was so weak he never could. And he was always broke and starving and begging to do any sort of miscellaneous jobs for anyone or even let them punch him in the stomach for a few coins. And he had just as much self confidence issues as Blythe but he coped with it by becoming a compulsive liar instead, always boasting and trying to sell himself as some legendary hero to keep from facing the truth. Since Blythe was a cute lil babby yokai at the time, they always believed their human master's tall tales and looked up to him, which made him feel really guilty and try harder to work on becoming someone this kid could be genuinely proud of.

* Blythe was first born as a household spirit. Cos i was thinking about what Dimmy would be before it became a ninja, since the medallium description says it 'got a job as a ninja to put its powers to use', so like it isnt really a ninja yokai but just a yokai thats a ninja? I guess?? I figured that the idea of being an invisible shadow supporter fit with household spirits/domovoi/zakishi warishi (probably mispelled that) and the various other similar creatures in mythologies all over the world. Just the idea that theres some sort of being that protects your house and if you give it offerings and take good care of the place it will protect you and your family. So yeah its my headcanon that thats how Dimmys are born, and that theres probably many variants wearing different outfits inspired by whatever type of humans they guarded. Tho yeh ninja is a job that works really well with their abilities so it makes sense itd be the primary representative of the species in the games.

* Human-dude-who-would-become-gorgeous-ambassador first met Blythe when one of his various failed attempts to get a job happened to cross paths with the family Blythe was guarding. This family didnt believe in such old suspicions and never gave offerings to their household spirit, so it stayed small and weak and was almost fading away. Baby blythe didnt know why their humans didnt love them, even though they tried so hard to bring good luck and clean the fireplace and stuff. So they felt a sense of kinship with this poor failure samurai who was begging for food on their doorstep. The humans of the household spat in his face and turned him away empty handed, but the tiny yokai snuck some rice from the pantry and gave it to him. They were surprised that he was able to see them, and he gave them the first thank you they'd ever had!

* Addendum note: i feel like gorgeous samurai was cursed with being able to see yokai from a young age and its part of whay made him so determined to become strong enough to protect people. Perhaps his biological family was killed by an evil yokai and nobody ever believed what he saw? And he wandered japan trying to save other people and always failing and being blamed for what happened, since nobody could see the real culprit. This reputation of being a liar when he wasnt = he ended up actually lying about how he was totally fine and not sad and also great and not hating himself. Its not really something he can control anymore, its like a stress response and it keeps getting him in trouble but he cant stop. "Yes sure i can save the day, i'm awesome!" only makes things worse when he inevitably loses again, whic only makes his self confidence worse and traps him further in the lies...

* so anyway, he became friends with this lil babby yokai and kept coming back to visit them and tell more tall tales of his grand adventures. And eventually he managed to help Blythe come out of their shell a little and agree to leave this house where they were only fading away. Haunting him instead, the lil shadow soon flourished back to full health from being loved for the first time. And their new big bro would always give them the biggest share of all the food even when he was starving, and always wasted his money buying things for them, and knitted them lil scarfs and just HE WAS A GOODEST BIG BRO! They also made a great team, and he was finally able to fight evil yokai with a yokai of his own helping him out. Things were good for a few years!

* Eventually though, they faced a foe too strong for them to defeat. (Not sure yet who it is, cos it could be cool if they faced it again in the present day for a rematch?) Blythe's human friend ran into a burning building to save the people being attacked by this yokai, but because he was already gravely injured he didnt manage to make it out in time. And blythe was just a tiny bab who wasnt strong enough to carry his unconcious body to safety. So their last memories of him are of crying and begging him to wake up as the house fell apart all around them, and eventually the flames swallowed him up. the tiny yokai just ran and ran away from their shame, and never saw an ashy figure rising from the ruins and calling their name...

* eventually after years of struggling alone and lacking meaning in life, Blythe had a chance meeting with our protagonist and thus begins my yokai watch 1 lets play! At the same time their yokaified big bro is still out there searching for them, and maybe one day theyll meet again...

* also i wanna go with the pre-evo the anime added of Gorgeous Ambassador evolving from a sad depressed vampire lookin dude. Even if the whole circumstances here are vastly different! But we dont really have any info on what kageusuo's powers or stats would be, so i guess i'm free to mess around with that? I like the idea of it being vampiric just cos i feel it looks like that. But instead of drinking blood maybe its a hunger for shadows? Which is actually beneficial to humans and makes them less overshadowed aka the opposite of Dimmy's power. So if you ever feel that you're radiating charisma with perhaps a slightly lighter shadow, maybe youve been inspirited by this guy! And then the evolution into Gorgeous Ambassador doesnt actually change anything at all, except just looking more fashionable and confident (which is absolutely a lie). His power already made people more fabulous while being unable to affect himself, he just worked a bit harder on himself to try and catch up with everyone else. Self care vampire!

* oh and in this interpretation the way that kageusuo would be integrated into the gameplay is that Gorgeous Ambassador would get a new ability that lets him switch forms in battle, rather than it being a separate yokai. (Tho would still have a separate entry in the medallium just for conveinience of being able to view both character models whenever you want) Stuff that causes low confidence would make him poof between forms, and itd just be something like more attack based vs defense based, or maybe having two separate personality stats so its like his AI is slightly more versatile than the usual frustratingness of most yokai? Srsly im still so annoyed at so many yokai that have two mutually exclusive moves and the ai is stupid about using them at the wrong time to cancel each other out. Like how Dimmy can be given the AI personality to focus on attacking and thus take advantage of its auto-skill to be good at dodging aka a glass cannon. BUT also one of its skills gives that same status to an ally instead, which by definition takes it away from itself cos 'dont target this other guy' means there arent many other options. So you cpuld alternatively play dimmy as a supporter who exclusively protects others with that ability BUT the annoying part is that even when you set an AI profile to one particular move it still only makes it LIKELY to do that and not guaranteed. So every now and again your attacking dimmy will cancel its own buff to protect an enemy, or your supporting dimmy will forget to support abd instead buff itself despite not having the attack stat build to take advantage of it. Plus you cant have both and switch between modes mid battle, so thatd be REALLY useful if one yokai actually could do that, and also could change stats to fit! Im not sure how to give it a trigger condition thatd let you sorta change at will but also not be 100% easy and overpowered. I was thinking tying it to his confidence could mean missed attacks turn him into kageusuo and critical hits turn into gorgeous? But thatd be TOO uncontrollable...

* oh actually i think maybe i'll nickname him Amber! Just cos my brain just mispronounced gorgeous ambassador and It Kinda Works??? Also its a kind of name that sounds very pretty but also has connotations of gentle shyness, i think. Matches the duality of his fake boastfulness vs his true self doubt.

* Oh and i also thought of maybe having Blythe evolve into Casanono, even though you cant do that in canon. I feel like turning into a pretty humanoid would be a good way to symbolize their growing confidence ans casanono/casanuva has a big nonbinary aesthetic in my opinion. Plus of course the fact casanono is a variabt of a confident yokai thats actyally shy. Originally older brother dude was gonna be a casanuva to match, until i heard about Gorgerous Ambassador and decided it fits him better (especially with that new anime form!) So now im thinking maybe have Blythe be both casanono and casanuva at once, similar to their bro's form switching? But itd be more like casanuva is a rare super saiyan esque powerup when they experience rare moments of confidence. Im pretty much just doing this because SADLY casanono is a joke character who is literally mechanically forced to be useless in battle. Its ability makes it harder to catch yokai which ia already goddamn difficult, and it wastes a skill slot too. As opposed to Dimmy who has a similar personality of always being ignored and depressed but its abilities are actually beneficial. Itd suck to go from Blythe being my mvp to being unable to use them at all, so this would be a way to still always draw them as casanono in comics to match their actual personality, but using casanuva in battle cos.. Well.. Yeah its the functional one of the two. Level-5 if youre listening please make casanono useable in future games!! Casanuva is absolutely the worst one personality wise so it sucks that the game agrees with his ego that he's great and also punches his depressed counterpart into the bin of ignoreness DESPITE BEING SUPER SYMPATHETIC AND RELATEABLE AND ALSO CUTER COLOURSCHEME

Anyway thats all the thoughts i have so far. Except oh also itd be funny if throughout the whole story blythe keeps talking about their dead brother as if he was the super best most serious hero and then when the protagobists actually meet him he's this gaudy dork XD