It's bedtime and I'm being very sappy, but I just came across a joke that my ex taught me, way back when, and it was good to have a reason to think of her and smile.

There's a great nothing where we used to be, and I feel like I recall the broad strokes and the bad details whenever I think of her. Her trauma and my unassuming arrogance in trying to help her, the nights she wouldn't reply to my texts because she knew I would stay awake terrified she'd hurt herself, the way the only thing she knew how to do with someone who cared for her was to manipulate them just to feel in control of something, and all I knew to do when I knew someone was trying to be better, when they wanted to be good and wanted me, was to stay with them - more importantly, to never give up being wanted by someone I wanted in return.

But the bad is never the whole story. And it's not excusing the fucked up little ball of issues we made together, but we wouldn't have fought so hard for us without the good. And she did teach me jokes and I did get her to sleep at my house that one time, early on, and I smiled up at my ceiling feeling floaty and warm while she slept because I was safe enough to fall asleep around when nobody else was, and she tried as hard as she knew how no matter what anyone else said. Of course she sucked at it. Of course I should've stood up for myself, of course it shouldn't have gone on for as long as it did. Neither of us even knew we were together until it was over and didn't find out we were lesbians for another five years after the end.

But she brought me to her dorm before I ever really understood the risk she was opening herself up to by having someone in a small and empty room alone, I clearly remember the first time she touched me (head on my shoulder) after months of me being careful not to touch her lest she jump out of her skin or start trembling, the paint speckled up her arms the first day of our class together, and the way it felt to have earned every morsel of her stunted and spiky affection. The nights we lingered in my driveway after she got in her car to leave, the cramps in my muscles after leaning for so long and how bright the stars always looked for all of those extra, stolen minutes. Her body weight across my lap while I threaded my fingers through her fine, fine hair (which I could probably still find attached to something, somewhere, even after 8 years). It was like becoming friends with a feral cat and I got scratched plenty. It's much healthier to read about than to live, I promise.

But it's okay to acknowledge that our explosive and often terrible attempts to care for each other were rooted in the earnest attempt to be good to and for the other, whatever our personal reasons why. And sometimes, many times, certainly more as the years went on, we succeeded. There's still nobody I would rather haunt that town with. Those moments of joy snatched from two conflicting kinds of broken shine all the brighter for the confusing mess of hormones and feelings and pasts we snatched them from. How it felt to be safety for someone who had never known it, to feel that sense of purpose before I was old enough to really understand why that was such a problem. I could go on until the sun comes up, but that's okay. Maybe one day I will. But for now I read that dumb little joke and, just for a second, I can remember how she smelled and the way the light that filtered through the old library windows poured over us like beams of honeyed time unspooling around us, the way I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh lest I break the hush of the third floor - the wicked pride in her eyes, the surprise in them at discovering how much she liked that she made me laugh... and the smile it brings to me isn't bittersweet anymore.

Can Bill tell Soos anything about Soos's father just to piss off Abuelita? After all, he likes to piss.

Axolotl, I hope this joke isn't too stupid.

Anon, I am eyeing you with the deepest suspicion.

Anyway—

Bill can tell Soos tons about his father.

Bill would never piss off Abuelita.

After Mabel, Abuelita is the one person in the house Bill least wants to piss off. His first full day in the shack, she tried to poison him with a genial, inscrutable calm; and remained genially inscrutably calm when he called her out on it. That's a stone-cold killer. She wasn't afraid to try to kill Bill Cipher and she wasn't afraid when she was caught trying to kill Bill Cipher. He respects her and slightly fears her. So far, she's the only human who's outright tried to kill him since his reincarnation, and he feels there's very little keeping her from trying again.

If that weren't a concern though, he might occasionally make jabs about Soos's dad to him—and why stop there, his mom is a sore spot too—not to piss off Abuelita but just to bully Soos.

Rudy with a jealous s/o? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED THISS

Hello! Here you go!

Rodolfo with a Jealous!S/O

The moment he sees you’re jealous he’ll chuckle a bit but also be a bit worried. It’s nice to see that you like his attention enough to want it most of the time, but would he really be able to calm you down from your frenzy? He most likely could, but the worry is still there. At first he’d be a bit apprehensive about approaching you, especially if you’re being snappish and keep hinting at you being mad at him for spending time with someone that wasn’t you. If this doesn’t happen very often he wouldn’t know what to do, but if you’re a very jealous person and it keeps happening then he’ll have a talk with you. It’s not particularly fair to him that you always snap at him whenever he spends time with his teammates or friends, so he’ll sit you down and discuss your behavior and how you can both improve yourselves. Communication is very important to him.

If you don’t get jealous as often, then he’ll approach you after a bit and ask you what’s wrong. It’s up to you whether or not you honestly respond to him, but he’d much prefer you being upfront and honest with him. He won’t really know too well what to do if you just keep lying to him, pretending that you’re alright. Rodolfo will, however, take you to a secluded place if you’re out somewhere together and just talk to you. While he may not be the biggest fan of PDA, he would give you a small kiss, either on your lips or your cheeks, maybe even a hug if you’re especially mad, and apologize to you. He knows it likely isn’t his fault, but maybe an apology could calm you down. If it’s late and he’s been with his friends for a while now anyway then he could make time to just leave, especially if nothing important is going on anymore and the main events and conversation topics are over. However, if he has to stay for a bit longer, then he’ll apologize again, but promises you that you’ll be going back home soon enough.

Once you’re back home all of his attention is on you, if you want that. If you prefer to be left alone then he will let you be, but will check up on you once every hour and ask if you’re doing alright. But if you don’t want that then he’s more than happy to talk with you, or spend time with you in general. You wanna cuddle? Play a video game? Bake some cookies? He’s not opposed to any of those things. Because, truth be told, you being mad but quiet sort of scares him. He has to deal with loud, angry soldiers almost on a daily basis, so he knows how to put someone in their place if they’re being openly aggressive. Therefore you being so quiet is very worrisome and he’ll be on edge this entire time. As soon as you laugh again he knows he did something right, though. That’s the goal: To get you to calm down and smile, maybe laugh even. But he knows that, at the very least, it will likely be over by the time you both wake up again in the morning. If he can, then he’ll spend the next day with you. Or at least as much of it as he can.

i love black women

Appreciation post for 'girly girl' characters and/or shows that celebrate traditionally feminine things that girls and women are shamed for.

Characters on this list that love makeup, fashion, hair, etc. Characters that are still written as strong, intelligent, brave, etc. That told young girls that these interests are valid, they are not lesser interests. Being feminine and liking traditionally feminine things does not make them weak.

i finally have a day off tomorrow, so i will be active then. but for today it's sillies & fun. sorry for no actual writing, but we have been working for the last few days, and then playing games with friends to decompress. i hope that everyone has been having a good day and continues to !!

Look at my figure shelf boy I'm still sick

Highlight of the day is when I was eating at a table with three friends and one of them said "Why would they warn against violence in PL3 ? Sure, people 'die' sometimes, but it's neither tragic nor violent." And I was sitting there grinning like an idiot thinking "She doesn't even know about the mecha", when the only other person who knew slowly raised her head to stare at me with the most TERRIFYING smirk I've ever seen. Full-on evil laugh too, like "Should we show her the video ?" "Oh we definitely should."

Little piece of advice- if you ever show a friend cutscene 29 of Unwound Future, make sure to do it in a crowded room <3 That way you'll get to truly enjoy the pain on their face when they're trying so hard to be quiet and then suddenly yell "Oh SH-"

wait no sorry one last quick immature bitch moment

the more I find out about how this person has behaved in both this relationship and a bunch of other relationships, the funnier it is how much they like to set themselves up as a like. authority on ethical nonmonogamy and consent and conflict management.

when like. they constantly sexually assault people to prove a point, pressure their partners into shit, got into enm by cheating on 3 people concurrently, and literally every time a problem in their orbit is brought up it gets explained away without anything actually changing, or they cry about how hard it is until everyone says OH NO IT'S FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

you know. very "call yourself a Community Organizer even though you're not on speaking terms with your roommates" energies.

fontaines archon quest is probably the first time in genshin that replaying it gives you a new context of how furina acts like its crazy...watching my oomf play when i finished and seeing furina almost on the verge on a breakdown even on the first acts when most people thought she was just the typical chuniibyou ojousama in charge...crazy.

YEAH like... god it's really crazy especially with furina's initial approach at trying to be the archon like... What could have been her own way of doing it if the crowd hadn't immediately shot down her attempt at being genuine . Like how different that was from the way she had to act for the following 500 years... Man.🧍‍♂️

Day 17 (30 Days | Homestuck - Day 3) - Patron Troll (Nepeta Leijon)

*AC creeps clawser and clawser, ready to pawnce on furst sight*

=Thoughts=

I may not have intended it, but it seems I've started aiming to do pieces with more perspective playing into them for these 30 days. I wonder if I'll do stretched proportions as well.

The biggest challenge here was definitely the pose. Why so? Because the idea was to make Nepeta look like she was doing that cat wiggle, except cats have a lot more back to do that with compared to a humanoid, so it looks more awkward on a humanoid. I just had to make do.

Despite the trouble I had last piece with the head shape, this one actually turned out nicely. Part of it was just moving the whole eyes up but the other part was shifting the nose and mouth down more (while making them still visible; earlier parts of this piece had the mouth completely hidden). It looks like her head is indeed facing downwards as she looks at you.

Those hands...that's where my energy left me and I couldn't put in the effort it needed. I've been getting better at more complex hand details, but actually posing some of them isn't so simple, especially that angle. I'll be sure to work on them next time, but it was what the piece called for, energy or not. At least it still provided...some...practice heheh

Kingsley

Spicy mayo!

tell me how you feel about me spicy mayo: I appreciate the vibes you give off

The feeling is mutual for sure!

so one of the girls I met through theatre is this super chill and laid-back punk art major who let her hair grow out and kept it natural through the entire play and then the day after our closing show chopped it into a pixie cut and dyed it bright pink and she's the same age as me and incidentally one of the first people I "met"/became acquainted with when I moved here only we didn't ever actually talk until we were working on the play and honestly I think there's something funny and quite a bit meant to be about that

I have now reached "my mom and I call each other to complain about our shitty days" level of adulthood.