#I'M SHOUTING THIS IS HILARIOUS
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Mr. Bateman saw a gay pride and immediately spiraled, had to go home in taxi to calm down, torture a puppy as self soothing, before he could go to work (late because of his gay panic)
#american psycho#moss reads ap#I'M SHOUTING THIS IS HILARIOUS#like#sorry for the violence but he's SO FUCKING MUCH#moss reads#I mean#he's hyper violent but it's such a misdirected coping mechanism that like#BRO#your continuous existence is a fucking joke#like 'I used to think my life was a tragedy but it's a comedy'#that is the book for me#idk#maybe it0s my own mental illness that finds him so incredibly ironic and funny#HE JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#moss text
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hear me out, beast goosamu
mafia boss goosamu would be so unstoppable
who framed Dazai Goosamu?
#happy new year this is my gift to you all#shout out to videogamelover99 for suggesting the roger rabbit approach when i was simply going to do photo edits#and thank you to kyouka-supremacy without whom I would not have had access to screenshots of the movie#i had to replace dazai's entire chair because it was unsalvageable so yes his chair does change from one screenshot to the other#those are the only screenshots i'm willing to edit beast hurts me too much i refuse to directly look at it for too long#this was hilarious and far easier to do than i expected though askjdhsdjfg#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd beast#dazai goosamu#bsd dazai#bsd dazai osamu#nawy's edits
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absolutely love that the bonus episodes of the sandman quite literally gave us dream as a poor little meow meow
#the sandman#the sandman spoilers#dream#morpheus#dream of the endless#dream of a thousand cats#i like to think i'm hilarious#i hope neil gaiman sees this#but please don't summon him to my post i don't think i could handle that as a fan#naming a cat after dream of the endless is now on my list of goals to achieve in life#can you imagine addressing a cat as lord morpheus it's iconic#ara shouts into the void
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finished gossip girl.... who am I now
#I knew the dan reveal from the beginning which made it hilarious to watch bc it obviously wasn't planned#so so often I'd just be shouting BUT IF HES- NEVER MIND. I DONT CARE#but anyway. great show for binge watching in the bg I'm glad I finally watched it lmao#now at some point I need to finish glee....
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okay but robin's first instinct in the rr:stud au being to yoink whoever's in danger to get them to safety is Pure Comedy if you bring the S5 apocalypse thing into account.
nancy's shooting demogorgons and demobats and demodogs and demo-creatures left and right and then robin grabs onto the back of her jacket and just YOINKS and throws her over her shoulder and just starts GUNNING IT outta there
"ROBIN DIANE BUCKLEY IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW—"
i love that we as a fandom have just decided robin's middle name (same with nancy shkdjh) robin diane buckley you are so real.
no but actually rr:stud au version of robin trying to yoink nancy from the danger she keeps throwing herself into trying to keep everyone safe. nancy's trying to shoot at anything and everything but robin knows when the demo-creatures are too overpowering and they don't have enough ammo for this!!! so robin's just like "yeah. no. we're outta here." and just. grabs nancy and bolts.
#got mail! 📩#solarsleepless#ronance#cue the inevitable: 'what the hell was that for?' vs robin's 'i'm not gonna let you be the self-sacrificial hero you think you are!'#etc etc the argument that leads up to someone shouting 'bc i love you!'#you know?#rebel robin: surviving the upside down#also solid choice i love robin diane buckley#tho i think giving robin a 'hippie' middle name is also hilarious
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Chloe and Jake's relationship is like when you're in elementary school and trying to pull out a tooth by twisting it and it hurts a lot but you keep twisting it in the middle of class and the you hear the first little snap and taste a little blood and you let go of the tooth but then you start again and keep twisting and as you keep twisting it you stop feeling the pain of it and you hear it snap twice this time and there's bit more blood but you don't stop this time and you keep twisting it until it finally snaps with a gush of blood. And when the bleeding has stopped and the tooth is in a little purple plastic chest from the nurse's the spot where the tooth was is a little bruised and sore and you keep poking it with your tongue even though it feels weird and just a little painful but you keep doing just because you can. Yeah it's like that.
#came up with this metaphor in the middle of ballet#shout out to ms jeanie's degase combo that i zoned out during the explanation#bmc#royal pains#get it PAINS#i'm hilarious#jake dillinger#chloe valentine
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oh wow that is a fascinating interaction
#merry shadowheart and astarion about gale: we can make him worse#he's sitting in camp 'hm. i think i'm gonna text my ex' and in unison they shout HOE DON'T DO IT#merry has no interest in shar either way but if shadowheart sees a convert in him she's for sure going to encourage that bc it's hilarious#chi plays bg3#chi liveblogs#bg3 spoilers
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Toddler: IT'S THE HULK!
Me: Yup!!
Toddler: I'M THE HULK!
Me: *getting pummeled by the toddler on my back* Yup!!
Toddler: *sees Hulk getting angry and smashing the Helicarrier and Thor* That’s not good.
Me: Nope!! 😆😆😆😆😆
#her reactions are hilarious lololol#she's basically running around the living room just shouting HULK! IRON MAN! CAPTAIN AMERICA!#interspersed with I'M THE HULK!!#indoctrinating a new generation to the Avengers lololol#avengers#hulk#toddler#mom life
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. . . miles is back
#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP#I'M VIBRATING I'M SHOUTING I'M HEAVING I'M SNIFFLING I'M GROWLING I'M BITING I'M BITING I'M BITING I'M BITI#sometimes i wish i could privately pish things to mutuals only because the snaps i sent evan about this are hilarious#if only because of how ridiculous it is how i am aghast and at a loss for words and just whimpering like a dog#literally keyboard smashing orally because miles is back AWWOOOOOOOOO#cas.txt#cas.aa#*post. not “pish” wtf phone typo alert
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I think I'm at the point in my life where I will give up trying to converse candidly and sincerely with anyone who is too jaded and whose first reaction to any creative project that is a risk is "haha it's gonna fail" congratulations not only have you just firmly shut down the conversation, I am never going to try and share any hopeful piece of news or creative project (mine or a friend's) with you ever again.
tried to tell my brother about a friend's final year project (theyre doing an audio tech course and their fyp is a concert), I was legit just trying to share a part of my day but i only got one sentence out (explaining that my friend was in an audio tech course) before my brother went "oh hes gonna regret that". Was genuinely shocked by how incandescently angry I immediately fucking got. Like speechless rage. Ruined the whole fucking grocery run that I had to go on with my brother and he still kept asking why I was so mad. Had a really similar reaction when my friend's dad asked me what I wanted to do as a job and I mentioned that a real dream would be to potentially be involved with education policy planning or smth similar and hopefully be able to better the system and that friend's father immediately went like "hah good luck" in a snide kind of tone. I almost wanted to get up and throw hands in the middle of my friend's living room.
The thing is I get it, the world is a fucking dumpster fire and anyone who has lived long enough in it is aware of how bleak everything really is. And for many people the response to this seeming hopelessness is to be cynical and scornful and acknowledge it and keep going regardless. I have a very easy life in comparison but idk the only way I can find this world worth living in is to be aggressively hopeful. Being cynical about the abject bleakness never helped me and honestly if I had kept with it I probably would have committed to just getting the fuck out of life way back in secondary school because I cannot find a legitimate and logical reason to continue existing. So I can't ever get too mad at people for reacting to any hopeful thing I try to talk about with immediate disdain/cynicism/laugh at it because that's what works for them but it fucks me up So Bad. It's like everything something like that happens I just want to kill myself on the spot all over again very viscerally. But also most people arent worth the time and effort it would take for me to communicate why exactly I would prefer for them to never react to something I'm trying to share like that ever again, so I guess I'll just take note of ppl who react like that and never bring up that kind of topic ever again bc I know I won't get the optimism and support I want from them, which is fine. It's not a big deal when I have other people in my life who will be able to be happy and hopeful with me. Whatever works for everyone individually and all that.
But yea I guess I just needed to shout this into the void somewhere god being alive is such a chore but I'm happy I can still try and find happiness for myself whenever and wherever I can
#rant#tw suicide#just shouting into the void here otherwise I would work myself up too much and get a bigger headache my jaw already hurts from clenching#and I'm behind schedule on the job applications I was supposed to be doing#so many regrets and upsets rn which is hilarious bc I objectively don't have much to worry about#I'm the fucking chihuahua drowning in the mud puddle of my own making while everyone else is a great dane dirtying their paws in it
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johnny truant is yet another cringefail bisexual man i'm adding to my evergrowing collection
#stormy shouts#i've stopped on ch6 of house of leaves so i'm not all that far in but my goodness#the way he talks about thumper is so hilariously helpless like my god dude
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Football is soooo funny how can these men watch it with a straight face
#telling me to act normal when i laugh & that you dont laugh at normal things 😭😭#what's normal? 3 men failing to hit the ball back to back while the ball keeps bouncing in the air? that's hilarious come ooonnn#if i'm made to watch football sitting in the living room the least thing i'll do is shout the names of those i recognize & also laugh#nesi rants
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Danny the tiktok star
DPxDC au
So Danny, as any high school teen would do, makes videos on the latest video sharing social media site. In this case that's tiktok, although if we look at the time that Danny Phantom came out Vine might be more appropriate...
Either way, he makes silly little videos that range from funny jokes, A Day in the Life at Casper High, Space Fact Friday, POV: You live in Amity Park, roasting whatever ghost happens to be attacking that day, ect. He gains a small following of people who like his content but it's nowhere near being able at call himself tiktok famous. Until one post...
"Hello, my name is Danny, and this is my Official Application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me"
He jokes about how he is a young teen male with black hair, blue eyes, and a questionable home life which makes him the perfect candidate for a Bruce Wayne adoptee. The video goes viral so Danny leans into the bit and starts making more of that content. Photoshoping myself into a Wayne family photo, What I would wear to a Wayne gala, Taking a 'Which Wayne Are You' quiz.
When the Wayne kids find his account they think it's hilarious and keep an eye for new posts from him. One day Tim is stuck in a boring WE meeting so when he gets a notification that Danny posted a new video he will gladly take the distraction. He wasn't expect what he would find...
The video opens with the camera facing Danny, but he's not in any of his usual filming locations. It's hard to tell what exactly is happening around him but there's shouting in the distance and the sound of sirens. In fact, it looks as if Danny is leaning against an ambulance. Danny looks unusually pale and has what looks like a shock blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The camera is shakey and when he speaks his voice comes out weak.
"Hey guys... It's Danny. You know how I joke a lot about being adopted by Bruce Wayne?..."
Danny pauses and takes a shakey breath. It seems like he loses his grip on the phone for a moment because the camera fumbles before being held upright again. It's not a great view, but viewers can catch a glimpse of a destroyed building in the background, firefighters still working to get all the flames doused. When Danny starts speaking again he seems to choke on the words.
"W-Well, something happened and.. I'm k-kinda and orphan now? So uh..." Danny gives a small sad sounding chuckle that fades into a light cough, "this is my official application for Bruce Wayne to adopt me. Internet, do your thing..."
The video ends.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#fic prompt#danny makes tiktoks#they're pretty funny#the nasty burger explosion#his family is dead now#hes sad#dannys an orphan#you thought it was gonna be cute and silly but it was sad
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Can you feed me a fic?
Reader being Landos/Oscars gf and she wears something w big boobage so the boobs are unmissable and the bf eyes just don’t leave her cleavage for a damn time and he gently touches them and goes oink oink
Or he gets turned on and they have a spicy time in his drivers room
Or both
Stay hydrated love
One each II LN4 x Reader x OP81 ⓈⒽ
SUMMARY: Your boyfriends were so different to each other but when it came to you they were both a menace.
WARNINGS: Suggestive content...18+? First non smut fic here wow!
A/N: I know the request said one or the other but why limit ourselves like that you know I'm a sucker for poly fics anyways ;) This is short but open to making a part 2 if requested 👀
"You're going to dinner in that?" Oscar asked utter shock audible in his voice as he stared unashamedly at your chest.
"Well yeah, I-" You were about to explain when your other boyfriend walked out of the bathroom.
"WOAH!" His eyes opened wide, a smile forming on his face as he stared right at your boobs.
You'd bought yourself what you thought was a nice fancy dress for the end-of-year McLaren dinner they were going to with your boys, yes it was a little more revealing than usual but you didn't expect the boys to be this shocked about it.
"Come to Daddy." Lando giggled as he approached you with his pointer finger before poking one boob and then the other. "oink oink." He poked each one as he said so.
Lando giggled while Oscar simply rolled his eyes at his man's antics unable to hold back the smile. Oscar was often more serious and reserved while Lando was as immature as they came often saying the first thing that came to mind something that frequently got him in trouble.
"Why are you showing everyone our babies?" Oscar asked this time as he cupped your breasts on each side squeezing them together creating even more cleavage between the slit of your dress.
You weren't even surprised with the boys touching you so much often having a hard time with keeping their hands to themselves but you still found their behavior right now hilarious.
"It's a dinner dress you muppets. Now be sensible and keep your hands off...and eyes up here." You stepped back causing Oscar's hands to fall at his sides yet you still saw how both their eyes kept staring straight at your boobs.
"BOYS!" You clapped in front of their faces making them snap out of their trance.
"aww, but baby." Lando pouted at the fact that you wouldn't let him stare.
"Right, I'm gonna change." You sighed defeated as you noticed even Oscar was having a hard time not staring and he was normally the one with a little more self-control.
"NO!" They both shouted at the same time, Oscar grabbing your hand to stop you.
"No, don't...we'll behave." Oscar tried to remain serious but you saw the little smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Can we at least give you a kiss? One each?" Lando asked, a smirk visible in his face which you knew meant he was up to something.
"Yeah..." You replied unsure of what he had planned.
"Kay." He chirped happily leaning forward, you puckered your lips ready for the kiss but jumped slightly when you felt his lips against your left boob and then your right.
"Lando!" you yelled when you felt his teeth on your right boob.
"My turn." Oscar leaned down kissing your right boob and then your left as you also felt his teeth on your left boob this time.
"BOYS!" You pushed Oscar back quickly running to the bathroom to see the quickly forming mark on each of your boobs.
"What is your problem?" You called out to them coming back out to see them both proudly smirking at each other.
"C, mon let's go to dinner we don't wanna be late." Oscar reached his hand out to you.
"I can't go to dinner with a hickie on each boob!" You huffed annoyed.
"Sure you can." Lando shrugged.
"We have to make sure everyone knows what's ours," Oscar replied.
You felt tingles run through your body in between your legs as Oscar said so, suddenly finding yourself speechless.
"C, mon darling." Oscar walked to you placing his hand around your waist before he pulled you to him giving you a quick yet passionate kiss, feeling as his tongue traced your lips before pulling away.
You didn't even have time to catch your breath before you were pulled to your other side where Lando did the same kissing you as if he was trying to collect the spit Oscar had just left on your lips.
"mhm." You moaned/whined as you felt Lando pulling away.
Your lips were glistening with the spit of both your boys as you stood breathless between them.
"Off we go then." Lando took your other hand while Oscar still held your other as they walked you out, their plan of getting you hot and bothered off to a great start.
Part 2
#f1 x reader#f1#f1 imagine#f1 one shot#f1 smut#f1fic#formula 1#changetyre#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri#lando norris smut#lando norris#lando norris x reader x oscar piastri#polyfic#f1polyfic#f1 poly#oscar piastri x lando norris#op81 x reader#ln4
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Would each book have only one good ending? By "dead end", do you mean a dead-end path where getting said goos ending is a possibility no more?
More or less, I wasn't sure how else to describe the branching paths. As for whether it's impossible or not to get a good ending, I suppose it depends on how you want to structure the book, on how forgiving you want to be to readers, and how complex you're willing to make the theoretical story!
Goosebumps were my favourite flavour of CYOA books as a kid, and those ones had a tendency to have like... maaaaybe two or three good endings? And the rest was quite a lot of unfortunate death. When I think of CYOA, I tend to think of stories with one or two "true" happy endings, maybe a few neutral endings, and then a number of death endings, which is why I was refering to the other paths as "dead ends".
That's just me though, you may prefer a different style of CYOA! I suppose another example one could potentially draw from, if you're willing to branch away from children's media for examples, would be visual novels. Those often have a number different viable happy endings (often different romance options), and only a few failure endings. Some may or may not have a single "true" ending, but they're often made so that you can choose quite a number of different choices that still result in a positive ending. So a CYOA definitely doesn't have to be predominantly failure, that's just what I tend to think of.
The new printings of the official Choose Your Own Adventure books are actually really helpful for visualizing common CYOA pathing, because they actually print "roadmaps" on the back of the book! :
Here's a very simple example from Blood On The Handle by R. A Montgomery. This is one of the less complex ones: it only has only 13 endings, and once choose a route you're pretty much stuck on it. There's no opportunity to get to other tracks, except by restarting.
This book (as far as I recall) has one "true" ending that really wraps everything up perfectly, one other "good" ending, a few neutral endings where you don't die but don't really resolve the whole story, and then a number of bad endings. So if you first choice takes you down a branch that doesn't have the "true" ending then you're essentially on a "dead end" path. You might get an okay ending, but you won't get The Best Ending, and more likely you'll just die. And so you restart and play again!
In my opinion that is one of the best features of these books: they're very, very re-readable! I had a copy of Goosebumps: Trapped In Batwing Hall by R. L. Stine as a kid, and me, my brother, and our friend would sit and reread it together every few weeks because we kept hoping to figure out how to get one of the good endings! That being said though, some of the better made CYOA stories actually really encourage you to read ALL the different endings if you want the COMPLETE lore. Often even the "true" ending won't tell you everything unless you've read a number of the failure paths too!
Here's the set up for Eighth Grade Witch by C. E. Simpson. This one is significantly more complex! Not only does it have 28 endings instead of thirteen, but this one actually has the possibility of redirecting you back to different paths and endings you might have otherwise missed. So choosing one path doesn't automatically mean you'll be locked out of the ending you want because you have another chance to direct down that route.
So the possibilities really are endless here! It all depends on how much planning you want to put into a CYOA, and whether you prioritize giving your reader pleasant endings or scary endings. All valid options!
#also i feel like i need to give a shout out to You Are Asexual by A. C. Evermore#it's a queer parody CYOA book that i found HILARIOUS it really embraced the best parts of the genre#lots of weird horrid failures some neutrals and a few different good endings#i'm pretty sure i still have't found the ''true'' ending but i've enjoyed reading different endings and learning more of the books lore#definitely not a kids book this one involves a lot of sexuality and sex talk but still#it's enough of an interesting odd ball that i feel like i need to mention it#book talk#choose your own adventure#anon
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