#I was scared shitless and thought about quitting but then I decided I'd try | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chimchiri · 2 years

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Hi! So, i know this is not the kind of question you wanted or something like that, but i really need some advice from someone out of the buble i currently live in.

I always liked writing, just that, and always liked the feelling of sharing a message through the words. It's been about a week since my friend introuduced me some tools to start writing profissionally, his aunt has already written a lot and earned money with that at home, he started writing too, writing a book, and he did pretty well. His story is about to be published and he is so happy wirh that.

He made me feel confident enough to write my story too, he inspired me and said i have the ability to write a really good book. But i'm nervous. I want to write, but i don't know if it is the right thing to do or if my story will be good enough as his. What if they don't like it? Is it the end of my life? (I'm too dramatic sorry)

What do i do? Can you answer me?

I thank you so much just by reading this, sorry for wasting youe time.

Thanks.

I'm answering publicly because maybe any of my followers have some uplifting words for you as well? Maybe even someone who has experience? Any followers who have other recommendations, help, or would like to reach out? ***

No problem, don't worry about it. People are free to send me non-fandom related questions as well. You're not wasting my time either.

I mean, I'm not a writer but it sounds like there are two issues here. 1) process-related: getting good at writing and publishing a book and 2) emotion based: becoming more confident, accepting failure/mistakes and improving

(Just to preface this, I'm answering this from my own perspective and how I would probably handle this and pep-talk myself if I was in this position)

For 1) there's little advice I can give you myself, seeing as I'm not a writer. But if I was in your position I'd probably use the resources I have and do further research. Ask your friends aunt for advice and her experience. What do you need to do to publish a book? What's the process? Anything you need to prepare, etc? Anything your friend can help with? Are there any websites (tumblr? reddit? other forums?) where people could help you out? Anything to answer these hard facts/questions. And if you've got your answers, you can start working towards them.

But from your ask it sounds like 2) is your bigger issue. If you want to publish a book (and not just write as a hobby for yourself) then fact is, you will not grow efficiently either as a person (getting more confident) or as a writer (getting better at writing) if you don't take risks. No one is born exceptional (ok maybe like 0,1% but for us peasants it doesn't work like that lmao). A person doesn't grow when they're in their comfort zone. You improve when you take risks, try new things, make yourself vulnerable, and make mistakes.

Everyone starts out shitty (I did bad anime fanart as well when I started out drawing). But when you accept this, and start accepting criticism, you can start to take what's bad and improve it. Show your work to people (your friend? your friend's aunt? other writers? beta readers? an agent?). Actively ask for criticism and prepare yourself for things people may not like - only if you know what is not good can you improve it.

Always remember that no one is born perfect. Imagine that most likely even someone like Stephen King started out writing shittily. You will only get better if you open yourself up for the possibility of improvement. Take a deep breath and tell yourself "maybe it's bad, maybe even really bad - but this means it can only get better".

Lastly, it probably won't hurt to reach out to other writers in a similar position. People who are uncertain, who share the same fears. Check on tumblr, reddit, and other places. I know it helps myself to ramble to people in a similar position, so maybe it will help you as well.

#My two cents #I don't think I have more advice #I've always grown the most when I took the biggest risks #and in hindsight I was always glad I did it #fun fact: I accidentally signed up as a TA in a first semester chemistry lab thinking I'd just be the assistant #I was in my master's studies then #turns out I signed up for LEADING the whole lab #like college chem lab not just innocent school chem experiments #as in giving lections and being responsible for 20+ people and their chem experiments #like there was no one above me in the lab #I was scared shitless and thought about quitting but then I decided I'd try #I made some mistakes but it all went well and I learned SO much #and I came out much more confident knowing I could do something like this #anyway that's a short story of how you should take opportunities to improve #Like as a writer I'd definitely use that aunt for my advantage and ask her if maybe she knows an agent or has someone who could go over #my manuscript - or just in general give advice to best improve #USE the resources you have! If you already know someone who published definitely go to them #ask chim

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lepusrufus · 3 years

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Double edged scalpel ch.10

Ch1 ch2 ch3 ch4 ch5 ch6 ch7 ch8 ch9

Summary: scary moms are scary

---

Nicole stilled.

Moms.

Well this just got a million times worse.

Surprisingly enough, Nicole could count on her fingers the times she had crossed paths with either of the Ladies. Lady Dimitrescu was often busy and not bothering with the staff. Most things that needed communicated went through the Steward. Mistress Esteria was, as some would call her, a ghost. She preferred her solitude or time with family so it wasn't unheard of for new staff members to take months before they even see her around the castle. Paired with Nicole's job that had her in the dungeons almost all the time, she never got an actual introduction to either of them.

Not that she complained. It didn't take a genius to realize that both women were to be feared.

I think I'd like to bleed out now.

"What about?" Her voice was barely audible, due to fear or pain was anyone's guess.

"... I don't know." Cassandra's quiet voice mimicked her own.

"Should I assume it is about your um… choice of partners?"

The realization that, to anyone outside Cassandra, she was little more than a maid turned butcher hit Nicole almost as much as the bullet that until not long ago was wedged into her flesh. Would they forbid Cassandra from seeing her? Or perhaps decide that Nicole has committed an unspeakable offense to their family and punish her? She gulped and Cassandra's reply wasn't of much help either.

"I don't know," she repeated.

Nicole sighed, a slow drawn out exhale, all too aware of the pain it would cause otherwise. "When?"

"Soon. They told me to let them know when you wake up."

Nicole just nodded and laid back into the cushions. May as well be comfortable before facing death. But Cassandra didn't move. Instead, she interlocked their fingers and brought Nicole's hand to her lips, leaving a kiss on bony knuckles. They stayed like that, silently, for a full minute before Cassandra got up and, with a be right back, exited the room.

Left alone, Nicole looked down at herself once more. To say she looked awful was an understatement. Definitely not going to rely on appearance to make a good impression. The painkiller was also yet to do its job and any movement still shot jolts of pain through her body. Wonderful.

It wasn't long before the door opened again and Cassandra came in followed by Lady Dimitrescu, her trademark hat making her look even taller and more intimidating than she already was. Immediately behind, Mistress Esteria took light steps, her long white hair flowing behind her like a silky mantle.

They looked so in contrast with each other, and it went beyond the almost opposite color schemes. While the Lady had the expression of a mother about to scold her child for carelessly running up the stairs and scraping a knee, the Mistress looked about to take out the bandaids. Her eyes, blue and gray, looked at her with something akin to kindness.

"What's your name dear?"

God her voice sounded like rivers deep in the forest. Flowing and ancient and just as powerful as she probably was.

"Nicole," she gulped.

The Mistress came to a stop right by the bed, tall frame bending down and grabbing Nicole's chin between two fingers. She moved her head from one side to the other and hummed.

"My my, what a pretty face. You've always had quite the taste in women, love." She looked at Cassandra who only nodded stiffly.

Then, she was up again and moving towards the other matriarch, who by now was sitting in an armchair. The Mistress leaned on the armrest, opting to ignore the many other places to sit and Nicole had to wonder for a moment if they were the clingy type. What an oddly human trait.

A long drag of a cigarette was drawn out before golden eyes finally fell on Nicole and the Lady spoke.

"I was actually surprised to learn about how… deeply Cassandra cares about you. To actually come to me and ask for help saving your life." She narrowed her eyes slightly, just enough for it to be a clear warning. "I sure hope such kindness was not wasted on you."

Sensing where this conversation was going, Nicole groaned internally. Of all things, she would rather not have the break my daughter's heart and I'll break your legs conversation with Cassandra's mothers while a damn hole in her abdomen was still sending waves of pain through her body if she didn't move just right. In her defense, the painkiller was yet to kick in and there's only so much holding her tongue she can do while in pain.

"With all due respect my Ladies, I'd rather throw myself off the highest tower in this castle than pretend to love Cassandra. Have you met her."

That got a snort from the brunette, who quickly masked it with a cough. The Mistress however laughed. A melodic laugh that, in another situation, would be the most soothing thing.

"Oh dear. While the reassurance is appreciated, we do trust Cassandra's judgement."

"For the most part," Lady Dimitrescu added, eyes still narrowed.

"And we would love to have you for dinner soon," the Mistress went on, ignoring the small glare from her wife.

Another drag of the cigarette. "Well anyways. We didn't come here for a welcoming party. We'd like to make you a proposal."

Judging by Cassandra's furrowed brows, she probably knew as little about this as Nicole did. A proposal from Lady Dimitrescu could either be wonderful news or a death sentence. She couldn't help a gulp when the Lady continued.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do care about my staff. At least those who prove themselves useful." The cigarette was finally done and now Nicole had the luck of having her full attention. "And, as you may have guessed, medical training is not particularly common around here. I do happen to want a castle physician, a position that could be filled by someone skilled that also has a good reason to do a good job and be loyal to my family."

Wait what-

Nicole blinked in confusion, an expression mimicked by Cassandra. Did she mean…?

Lady Dimitrescu raised an eyebrow. "Do you accept?"

"Y- yes." The words spilled from her mouth without a second thought. And why would she have second thoughts after all?

Lady Dimitrescu watched her for a long moment. Then, when she seemed pleased with her findings, she rose to her feet.

"Very well. We will discuss the technicalities once you're in a better state. Now try not to bleed out before you even start your job. And," she sighed, "you are expected at dinner as soon as you're able to join us."

The last part caused her wife's lips to turn into a warm smile. The Lady simply turned around and ducked out of the room while Mistress Esteria lingered by Cassandra. She whispered something only the brunette could hear and then leaned in to kiss her forehead. The Mistress had a couple inches on Cassandra, which meant she was towering over Nicole. Then, with a smile in her direction, she too was out of the room, leaving only the two of them to stare at the door in disbelief.

"Well that went… well."

"Oh for the love of Mother Miranda," Cassandra sighed in relief, hands running through her hair.

Her shoulders lost their tension when she came to sit by Nicole's side, a smile now present on thin black lips.

"Your mothers seem… lovely women."

"Shut up you were scared shitless."

There goes Nicole's attempt at being polite. Not that Cassandra was wrong by all means, but part of her wanted to be on good terms with her lover's family. Maybe it was simply due to her relationship with the brunette, maybe it was due to how her own family never seemed to care much for each other. Not the way the Dimitrescus did, despite how they were seen as monsters by most outside eyes. She didn't let herself dwell on it, instead she took one of Cassandra's hands and started to play with slender fingers.

"Are you hungry? I can ask Cynthia to fix something for you."

Nicole smiled at the effort to make her feel better. She would never get tired of seeing Cassandra's caring and gentle side, especially when she knew how ruthless she could be otherwise.

"In a bit. I'm waiting for the painkiller to fully kick in so I can actually sit up."

Cassandra nodded and looked to the side, seemingly lost in some kind of thought. Nicole wanted to ask what got the brunette pensive all of a sudden, but before she could, golden eyes snapped back to her.

"Also. Don't you dare jump in front of a bullet for me ever again. It wouldn't have hurt me anywhere near as much as it hurt you."

There was a subtle growl in her voice that would have scared any other person. But Nicole recognized how the anger was just veiled worry at how much worse their situation could’ve gotten.

"Sorry. I just saw him with the gun and panicked." There was a reason she didn't pursue her father's idea of becoming a surgeon after all, and pissing him off was only part of it. "And I'm glad you didn't get hurt at all."

Cassandra narrowed her eyes, but her expression quickly softened. The big bad sadist couldn’t stay mad at her lover and Nicole almost teased her about it, but a gloved hand slowly caressing her cheek stopped her.

“I’m just happy you’re alive.”

#cassandra dimitrescu x maiden #unhinged maiden™ my beloved #lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x maiden #fanfic #double edged scalpel

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leviathans-normie · 4 years

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So, hi again! I didn't think I'd do this request but- aha Basically, can you do the bros with a MC that almost passed out for the first time in the Devildom? (Basically they don't pass out easily) it happened this morning to me and it was my first time so I didn't know what to do- I'm fine now btw

Holy- I'm sorry this took forever! And I'm sorry you went through that, hope you're better now. I've almost passed out quite a few times and it's awful. For everyone who hasn't gone through it, in case you're alone, sit down in the nearest place (preferable with shade/not a lot of sun) and when you can, drink some cold water.

I hope y'all are well and healthy and you won't need to go through that alone!

If it happens regularly/it was too severe/feel like there's a need, tell your doctor! I am no expert!!

I didn't have much inspiration for Satan ;-;

Warning: Depiction of fainting

THE BROTHERS SEEING MC PASSING OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN DEVILDOM

LUCIFER

→He isn't new to passing out because of work.

→In all honesty, he was so jealous that MC could handle everything while remaining perfectly healthy.

→So, you can imagine he was more than just shocked when MC just. Fell.

→Panik

→He dragged them on a couch and tried to put a bottle of cold water on their cheek.

→Their eyes were open, yet drowsy, and they were obviously unable to function.

→Their fingers lazily wrapped around the bottle.

→"Lucifer, I'm fine…"

→"Sure, and I'm best friends with Michael."

→He tried not to show how worried he was, but he basically did whatever he could.

→"How often has this happened MC? What am I supposed to do?"

→MC just shrugged. "it's a first.." they admitted, trying to get up and immediately feeling lightheaded.

→"You are not getting up. That's an order."

→Even after some time of this incident, Lucifer was still looking out for MC, even though he had no idea what to do to a human for this kind of situation.

MAMMON

→It all happened so fast, baby was so scared.

→One moment he was talking about whatever, and the next, MC was shaking and leaning back and forth with their body.

→"oi, MC? What are you-"

→They leaned and put their hands on his shoulders and chest to steady themselves.

→At first he thought they were faking it, as Levi had told him girls do in anime.

→But when he glanced at their face and they were white as a sheet? Boi was scared shitless.

→"MC WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHY ARE YOU WHITE, HUMANS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THAT PALE, ARE THEY, WHAT IS HAPPENING-"

→One of the other brothers heard the screaming and sat down MC. But then said brother left Mammon alone to deal with MC.

→Fucking prick.

→He went to grab some water and just… gave it to them.

→After a while MC was fine, but Mammon wasn't.

→"YOU CAN'T JUST SCARE ME LIKE THAT, HUMAN!"

→But at least he now knows what to do. Sorta.

LEVIATHAN

→He was ranting about his favourite anime in his room.

→he then noticed MC's face getting pale, but thought nothing of it.

→Not until they leaned forward and pressed their head on the crook of his neck for support

→Levithan.exe has stopped working, please restart your computer.

→"W-W-What a-are you d-doing, MC…?"

→"I'm not feeling well…" they mumbled.

→Oh no.png

→He tried to force them into his tank. Water helps in this situation, right?

→Yet again, they were almost unconscious. They would not be able to swim.

→So he just took water with his tail and threw water at them while lightly slapping their face.

→Ayo, Levi, what the fuck?

→MC came to her senses quickly, only to find Levi freaking out.

→"Levi I didn't even fully pass out.."

→"IrReLeVaNt!"

→Please help him, he's so lost.

SATAN

→He knew a fare share of things about it.

→So even if MC had no idea what to do, he gots their back.

→They didn't even manage to say anything, he had already sat them down and pushed a cold towel on their forehead.

→Brining them water, he sat on their side until the room stopped spinning for them.

→We stan.

ASMODEUS

→They were casually walking.

→Window-shopping, shit-talking, all that good stuff Asmo and MC did together.

→As they stopped dead in their tracks, Asmo gave them a worried look.

→"Honey!" he yelled as he saw their fave white as a sheet.

→Stumbling forward and holding onto him, they mumbled incoherent stuff.

→He got them somewhere to sit down.

→"Darling, you okay?!"

→Yeah, he didn't get much of a reply.

→After some agonisingly long minutes, they finally seemed to come back to their senses.

→"Oh, you're not dead!"

→"Water," they just responded.

→All ended well, but now Asmo always carries a water bottle. Just in case.

BEELZEBUB

→He didn't know what was happening.

→It was as sudden for him as it was for MC.

→They were casually eating food, chatting the day away.

→That's until MC put their hand on the counter.

→Their face seemed a bit paler.

→Beel was very concerned. He furrowed his eyebrows.

→"MC?" he called out, some food still in his mouth.

→Neither of them knew how to react, so he just silently panicked, while also texting his brothers.

→After the gave him some info on what was going on, he put the hot food away, and gave them some cold water.

→Everything went smoothly from there, but he was really concerned.

→Even after the whole ordeal, he still was a bit cautious. He wanted to make sure he knew what to do instantly, instead of waiting for his brothers to help like a lost puppy.

BELPHEGOR

→He was actually awake, searching for MC to cuddle.

→He saw them talking to someone, a small spark of jealousy forming in him.

→Yet it disappeared instantly when they saw MC leaning back and forth.

→Going quickly to their aid, he laid them down on a couch.

→Man was this close to cuddling, but decided to give them space.

→He was wondering whether they were dying.

→"I didn't kill them, did I? Oh fuck what if I did?"

→After a while, someone more knowledgeable noticed, and helped them out.

→Soon, MC was back to their normal self, even though a bit dizzy.

→He was so relieved they were actually alive.

→They tried getting up from the couch, but nope.

→That was as far as his kindness went.

→Now, they were obligated to cuddle for worrying him.

→Sorry, hun, I don't make the rules.

→Not that anyone complained

#obey me #obey me swd #om beelzebub #om leviathan #obey me headcanons #om lucifer #om satan #om mammon #om belphegor #om asmodeus #om brothers #obey me one master to rule them all #headcanons

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