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cemetery-drive-sys · 1 month

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I'm anon who asked you about how you came to find out about your system and how they sound like. I have another thing to ask as well. There is one of the things that keeps me in denial about all of the research I've done despite particularly relating to a lot of OSDD/P-DID systems experiences (i.e: passive influence, thought insertion kinda like we discussed about different things to say to outter world friends, feeling like a different version of yourself over time like as if it's like putting a costume on, etc) but whenever I do that i am zoned out having a scenario in my head and they're like I have these convos with non existent people but at the same time it feels like someone "metaphorically" there. I would say we/us and there were two times that I found that I was doing it without subconsciously aware of it and it bothered me but I just continued doing it as I couldn't stop referring myself that way even though i did it interchangeably. I can't really just "force" a conversation or ask them anything. The conversation will just come out of no where and we engage but I have no control in that so I guess that's one way? It's hard to go by the tips people give on increasing communication because how is that like? Is it like spewing out words that you didn't even think for a second to formulate and it just comes out? I've had that sometimes and it questions about certain situations during conversations I had with people because two weeks ago I felt like I was present in my own world (being in my head) but being present in the real world as I was talking to my psych nurse about my dissociation and still feeling denial about not resonating on some things of the "over all" picture of plurality because it isn't what is commonly presented in most systems.

You don't have to answer this ofc, I've been asking a lot of systems on their experiences while I'm still researching. I am looking into the haunted self and coping with trauma related dissociation books and the examples they give relates to a lot about myself.

That happens to us a lot as well, insys communication can be hard for a lot of systems, especially those in denial. With thing like this, I've learned that the "overall picture" isn't usually the most common experience, everyone's is gonna be different and not everyone will fit into those boxes. Weve experienced a lot of the same things you're describing so from what I think you could definitely be a sys, but then again I don't know you personally. I'm proud of you for doing research and asking questions to multiple systems, because like I said everyone's experience is different.

Sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense I'm kind of eepy and my brain isn't really braining

-🕸️, ???

(ps. if you wanna have more actual like conversations about this then feel free to dm me on discord (@.labyrinthine.) or on here :3 /nf/sug)

#endos dni #anti endo #did osdd #osddid #dissociative identity disorder #pdid #pdid system #dissociative system #did plurality #pdid plurality #osdd plurality #anon ask #system stuff #traumagenic system

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lcs-library · 8 months

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This fic is. Really weird. But in my defense I am eepy and this is a day late and I can do whatever I want forever.

Safeshiptember Day 16: Apology

Taglist: @dango-daydreams

“Come on, just one? Please?” Lu begged, running ahead of Masumi so she could face him as the walked.

“Not worth it,” he responded, adjusting his school bag on his shoulder.

“You’re so boring! It would be good practice, you know it!”

“And?”

“I don’t know, maybe the director would like it if you did? We’ve got a show coming up? Promoting the company?”

“Fine,” Masumi sighed, knowing full well she would keep this up if he didn’t agree to just one.

“Yay! C’mon, let’s go find a spot,” she said with a smile, dragging him into the plaza of Veludo Way.

It wasn’t often that Lu asked to do a street act with Masumi, but, when she did, it would mean a lot of pestering for Masumi, and a longer walk home from school for the both of them. Even then, she knew that, despite his silly tsundere tendencies, he couldn’t help but enjoy it too, no matter how he felt about her.

They finally settled on a spot in front of the Veludo Library, setting their bags down to begin discussing the content of the street act.

“Masu, you got any ideas?”

“Not really.”

“I should’ve guessed… how about a couple?”

“Seriously? Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I don’t know, it was the first thing that came to mind!”

“Fine, whatever, let’s do it.”

“What?”

“So, where should we go today, dear?” Masumi asked, slipping into character quicker than Lu had anticipated. She sighed, realizing she should have known better than to suggest this, but started speaking a little louder and clearer regardless.

“Well, I was hoping you’d take me for parfaits!”

“Parfaits? You realize how expensive those are, right?”

A fight ought to liven things up, she thought, noting the small crowd gathering around the two of them.

“Well, maybe you can be a good boyfriend and pay for me once in a while!”

Unfortunately, that was the moment Sakuya decided to step out of the library, clutching a few new scripts close his chest with a smile on his face. His eyes lit up as he saw the small crowd, and when he saw that it was some of his favorite people performing, he felt his smile push up even further.

However, his eyes met Lu’s right as the word “boyfriend” left her lips.

Lu gave him a blank stare. Uh-oh.

Sakuya set his books on the ground near the library’s door, storming up to the two of them.

“What the hell is going on here?!”

“Saku, it’s not what you think, I swear, it’s a-“

“I don’t wanna hear it!” He shouted, glaring angrily at Lu, shoving her aside to make his way towards Masumi. “What do you think you’re doing?! That’s my girlfriend, man! I thought we were friends!”

“She was the one who wanted it, I swear!” He replied meekly, shrinking away from Sakuya’s now imposing presence.

That was when it finally clicked for Lu, as she sat on the ground teary-eyed. Sakuya wanted to make things more interesting. To gather a crowd. Man, his acting had improved.

Lu summoned her courage, and let her tears roll down her cheeks as she let out a sob. Sakuya rushed to her side, kneeling down to where he had knocked her. He stared firmly at her, his back facing the audience so he could give her a small smile, before cheating out and grimacing.

“Why did you do this? What’s wrong with you!?”

“I- I don’t know!” She blubbered, cowering away.

“Why?” he continued to press on, Lu keeping an eye on the crowd to notice more people appearing at the dramatic scene.

“Because you’re like this!”

“Like what?”

“Like- like, this!”

“And you thought this was okay?”

“I’m sorry! I really am!”

“Sure, fine. You’re sorry. And?”

“I won’t do it again! I won’t!”

“You better.”

The two exchanged a look that simply said “we should end this before it gets serious.”

They stood up, Lu with Sakuya’s help, and bowed.

“Thank you for watching! We’re with Mankai Comapny, please come to see us sometime!” Sakuya shouted promptly, making sure to throw the extra ad in so as not to get murdered by Sakyo.

The audience clapped, some still a little uneasy, before dispersing to continue on with their activities, and the trio turned to each other.

“Sorry for just coming onto the scene! I probably should’ve stayed out of it, huh?” Sakuya apologized, going to pick up his books.

“You’re fine, it wasn’t really going anywhere, but you did scare me, so that’s what you should be apologizing for more,” Lu replied, giving him a light punch.

Sakuya laughed.

“I’m sorry about that, too! It’s fine if you fake-cheat on me! It’s not like I really care, it’s in the job description.”

“Same here.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, happy to get to see the other after a long day, even if it took a fake cheating scandal to let it happen.

“Can we go home now?” Masumi interrupted, ruining the moment.

“Oh, we should! Izumi’ll kill us, huh?” Lu replied, grabbing her own things to walk with Masumi as he almost left the couple behind.

Even then, it wasn’t like it mattered if they were late, it was nice to spend extra time together, no matter how strange it was.

#I was at a dance last night so my body hurts and I’m tired and I want to go hug my friends again but alas. gotta stay loyal🫡#fanfiction #yume time #acting angels #Safeshiptember #Safeshiptember 2023 #my fics

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