I know we all hate bitch ass Calvin and his pre-determination, but I just learned the term Arminian and think we should show homeboys Jacobus Arminius and John Wesley some hate too <3

            (  1  /  2  )  not  me  being  late  because  i  was  washing  dishes  and  making  dog  food  ...  yikes  .  at  this  rate  ,  i’ll  be  late  to  my  own  funeral  .  nonetheless  ,  i’m  kofi  ,  in  my  jordan  year  ,  reside  in  the  est  tz  ,  and  prefer  either  she  /  her  or  they  /  them  pronouns  !  here  is  my  sweet  (  lie  )  boy  saint  ,  and  he’s  an  updated  version  of  a  muse  i  played  for  a  little  while  i  believe  about  a  year  ago  ,  and  he’s  truly  the  loml  !  that  being  said  ,  here’s  everything  to  know  about  saint  and  i  promise  to  try  and  keep  it  short  !

            ✼:♡*ﾟ✿ ↝  hwang  hyunjin  .  cis  man  .  he  /  him  .  ／  seungho  ‘saint’  yoon  is  blasting  pink  +  white  by  frank  ocean  again  …  ugh  ,  i  swear  they  play  that  song  every  single  day  !  you’d  think  they’d  learn  how  to  pipe  down  .  oh  ,  you  don’t  know  them  ?  they  live  in  apartment  3D  .  i  haven’t  talked  to  them  much  ,  but  i  know  that  they’re  twenty  one  years  old  ,  and  that  they’ve  been  living  in  the  complex  for  three  years  .  i  always  run  into  them  when  they’re  coming  back  home  from  sweet  stems  ,  and  they  seem  really  beguiling  and  timorous  .  maybe  you’ll  have  better  luck  with  the  gemini  than  i  do  .

trigger  warnings  :  detailed  talk  of  religion  ,  minor  mentions  of  death  ,  and  sugaring  .

001  .  STATISTICS  . 

            name  :  seongho  ‘  saint  ’  yoon  .  nicknames  :  none  ,  unless  given  by  someone  else  .  date  of  birth  :  june  9th,  1999  .  zodiac  :  gemini  .  birthplace  :   montreal  ,  québec  ,  canada  .  current  location  :  vancouver  ,  british  columbia  .  languages  spoken  (  in  order  of  learning  )  :  korean  ,  french  &  english  .  love  language  :  words  of  affirmation  &  quality  time  .  height  :  5′10″  .  father  :  yoon  han - gyeol  (  university  professor  ,  first  ‘ man  ’  of  songbird  church  )  .  mother  :  yoon  baram  (  lead  pastor  at  songbird  church  )  .  occupation  :  student  at  ucb  &  florist  at  sweet  stems  .  orientation  :  bisexual  &  biromantic  .  markings  :  standard  lobes  ,  flat  (  left  )  ,  mid  helix  (  right  )  ,  daith  (  left  )  ,  and  tragus  (  left  )  .  a  scar  on  his  left  arm  from  falling  into  broken  glass  as  a  child  .  

002  .  BACKSTORY  .

            the  yoon  family  ,  comprised  of  mother   ,  father  &  son  ,  nestled  within  the  city  of  montreal  ,  fueled  with  love  &  patience  .  the  yoon  family  is  one  of  religious  background  ,  but  not  to  the  extreme ,  as  wedensday  night  bible  studies  &  evening  services  on  sundays  were  expected  .  in  the  late  1960s  ,  the  yoon  family  became  known  throughout  their  small  neighborhood  when  saint’s  grandparents  decided  to  open  songbird  church  .  baram  ,  saint’s  mother  ,  encountered  her  future  husband  within  the  small  congregation  of  songbird  .  soon  enough  ,  the  two  had  gone  through  the  stages  of  dating  ,  engagement  ,  &  marriage  ;  sadly  ,  this  didn’t  come  without  a  sudden  change  in  their  lives  .  three  years  after  their  marriage  ,  baram’s  father  suddenly  passed  away  .

            han - gyeol  and  baram  welcome  their  son  ,  seongho  ,  into  the  world  in  1999  ,  and  it’s  in  2008  when  they  expand  songbird  from  a  decently  sized  community  church  into  a  megachurch  in  its  own  right  .  thanks  to  the  expansion  ,  the  yoon  family  saw  a  surge  in  income  ,  &  ultimately  began  to  spoil  their  little  saint  with  everything  he  could  have  ever  wanted  .  however  ,  despite  being  the  only  child  ,  saint  was  often  overlooked  and  ignored  by  his  busy  parents  .  not  only  were  they  running  songbird  ,  but  his  father  also  worked  as  a  professor  at  a  local  university  .  through  his  parents’  spoiling  ,  saint  had  been  sent  off  to  france  to  ‘  find  himself  ’  shortly  after  graduating  from  college  .  

            it  was  then  that  saint  encountered  a  man  a  few  years  older  than  him  ,  only  twenty  six  at  the  time  ,  but  the  man  was  rich  &  liked  to  brag  about  it  ,  especially  with  a  wide - eyed  saint  .  in  essence  ,  saint  becomes  a  sugar  baby  in  less  than  two  months  in  france  ;  he  finds  that  it’s  not  love  he’s  seeking  ,  but  the  thrill  of  knowing  batting  his  lashes  will  get  what  he  desires  .  their  ‘  relationship  ’  continues  even  once  his  year  in  france  is  over  ,  &  he  returns  to  canada  to  start  his  first  year  at  ucb  .  it’s  then  that  saint  finds  another  ,  this  time  a  woman  in  her  thirties  who  became  trapped  under  his  thumb  .  their  ‘  relationship  ’  ends  after  only  a  couple  of  months  ,  and  he  has  since  found  another  to  bide  his  time  with  .  

            as  for  personality  ,  a  pretty  boy  with  a  layer  of  insecurities  that  he  can’t  ignore  .  tends  to  provide  incredible  advice  for  his  friends  ,  but  can’t  seem  to  take  that  same  advice  when  he  needs  it  .  very  independent  despite  his  sugaring  ,  &  likes  doing  things  on  his  own  .  don’t  interrupt  him  on  his  laundry  days  or  he’ll  whine  about  it  for  a  week  .  very  childish  ,  but  more  on  the  bratty  side  .  likes  to  do  a  face  mask  with  his  hair  pulled  back  in  a  lil  ponytail  because  #selfcaresundays  .  avoids  confrontation  because  he  simply  can’t  deal  with  it  &  he overthinks  entirely  too  much  .  lies  about  his  parents  /  sweet  stems  being  his  source  of  income  when  we  know  that’s  not  true  .

003  .  CONNECTIONS  .

honestmeme  ...  i’d  love  to  see  the  drama  of  someone  figuring  out  that  he’s  a  sugar  baby  &  holds  it  over  his  head  ,  but  not  in  a  bad  way  !

someone  he  has  a  crush  on  ?  the  crush  doesn’t  have  to  be  reciprocated  ,  but  when  he  sees  someone  pretty  he  can’t  help  himself  !  

i’m  desperate  for  an  angsty  friends  with  benefits  or  ex  friends  with  benefits  because  i’m  such  trash  for  these  plots  like  ...  hand  it  over  .

an  angsty  ex  boyf  PLS  i  promise  i’ll  make  u  cry  :D

a  best  friend  !  someone  who  sees  right  through  his  bullshit  &  whom  he  trusts  with  his  whole  life  !

something  soft  ?  make  my  teeth  rot  &  give  me  cavities  !  could  either  be  a  boyf  or  girlf  thing  ,  i  don’t  really  mind  but  i’ll  take  ANYTHING  soft  .

a  plot  where  they  hate  each  other  .  full  on  HATE  .  no  lingering  feelings  ,  no  soft  moments  .  just  give  me  a  full  bred  spicy  hate  ship  .

SKINNY  LOVE  DO  NOT  PLAY  WITH  ME

anything  based  on  chemistry  or  if  there’s  anything  you’d  like  filled  !

JUSTICE FOR JESUS — Misconceptions & Prejudices about the Faith in the Biblical Jesus Christ.

INTRO

Jesus put it on my heart to write about one of the main factors that keep people away from Him nowadays and I feel qualified to do that since I was in exactly that peer group before Christ knocked on my door (the second time) and showered me with His Love. As some maybe have read in my first testimony, at first I had violently pushed Him away (and I was extremely rude, I remember how I sent a ten minutes audio voice message to a friend [i mean, who does that...??], and philosophized about how the God of the Bible could be the Devil Himself and that maybe it‘s a trap for the weak people who need Religion to cope in this life; looking back that was just entirely bonkers and also very wrong, and now that I know Jesus, I am ashamed that I‘ve ever thought something evil like this, but gladly He has a heart probably bigger than the Universe itself and will always forgive)

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. — Matthew 18:21-22

and among all the outrageously horrible things I‘ve done in my life, this was probably the most bad error ever. God thought that by now I sure was humble enough to be approached (you know after my Mama died, I‘ve had 2 strokes, I‘ve been in a terribly traumatic violent relationship for over 2 years, I‘ve lost my apartment and almost lost my mind as well clearing out the apartment, was homeless for several months and received multiple thousands of Euros debts in my name because of the situation that was going on in my living community and with my Ex, people who have been following this blog know what I am talking about) but I was sooooo stubborn and DUMB. and not humble at all. I‘ve thought I had all the answers because „Spirituality“ is so much better than „Religion“ and because esoteric and occult knowledge is the Truth and that I would be „enlightened“ someday when I just kept „working“ to „spiritually grow“, meditate, doing divination about „my soul“ and my „past lives“ and „my future“, and „manifest“ my life however I wanted it to be.

A month after I‘ve pushed Jesus away and blasphemed His intentions, well, I was laying on my (new apartment) floor, having the worst seizure one can imagine, my brain was flooded in blood, the pressure and pain on me was extreme, my whole body clenched, the paramedics spoke to me very alarmed and dramatically, and I could hear and understand them but I was entirely paralyzed within my body, I could not speak, I could not move, I sweated so hard that my entire clothes were soaked from only 20 minutes of laying there, then I‘ve had to vomit twice, almost drifted off to unconsciousness, was freezing cold, got transported as fast as possible to the hospital... had a 6 hour brain surgery, was in a coma for 2-3 days and when I woke up I‘ve lived through almost an entire month of hospital „terror“ (I am very sure that I‘ve had something like an almost-psychosis in the first 2 weeks because really weird things happened in my mind back then that I cannot even explain) and it was already the Covid-19 panic, so I was literally alone all day, every day until I was stabilized and was allowed to leave the hospital at the end of April.

I‘m not saying that God punished me, not at all. But what He indeed does is disciplining the ones that He has chosen to be His child, just like an actual Father has to sometimes discipline his child for the sake of proper parenting. When I was stubborn and pushed Jesus away, Satan had legitimate authority to do whatever he wanted, except that I die. We see a similar situation in the book of Job 1:6-12

After I got home, I was still in horrible shape, I could barely walk (I‘ve used a rollator and later on I‘ve used crutches), I‘ve had a bad headache pretty much all the time (I still do, not all of the time, but very often), I‘ve done my daily rehab until first week of July, and now I am on weekly rehab. People would say I‘ve had enormous „luck“ or a „guardian angel“ but I know now that it was God who protected me. He needed to make sure that I meet Jesus AND accept Him before I truly die because death without Jesus means death eternal.

And so, Jesus approached me another time and I‘ve wrestled with Him and I‘ve almost pushed Him away again but THANK GOD, to the exact same time, an old friend from TUMBLR found me on Twitter (she was @spirit-mouse back on here) and also at the same time I‘ve heard of Courtney (@powerpriestess) turning to Christ, and at first I was like „?????“ and it was a huge struggle back and forth for days and I‘ve ALMOST pushed Jesus away again but ... talking with this old friend, who also felt a pull towards Jesus, I let it happen, because she let it happen, like a few days before me, and now I am just eternally grateful that my pride, stubbornness and idiocy didn‘t get a hold of me again and that I just let it happen and it was the best decision in my ENTIRE life. I am just filled with love and eternal gratitude for God and Jesus for not giving up on me, for humbling me enough to make it happen, and I literally don‘t go more than 15 minutes of my day without thinking of them, every single day, since July. It‘s just NOT possible to be born-again and to not think of God all the time *lol* - I have never been more satisfied, happy and peaceful in my entire existence and I could literally drop dead right now and I know it would be okay! (well okay, I really want to be baptized first..)

HOWEVER, - this was a long intro - the misconceptions about the Faith in the Biblical Jesus Christ are severe (!) and since I, myself, had aaaall the evil prejudices that one can have, I want to clear them aaaall up in this post series. My prayer is that people who feel a pull towards Jesus won‘t do the same mistake that I did and that maybe I can help to clear away the stigma and confusion about the faith in Jesus and following Him.

If anyone needs help along the way, you can contact me on Instagram @ noony.newborn - I know just how confusing EVERYTHING is when you start your relationship with Christ and how utterly confusing the Bible is, and sadly, these days, you can literally not trust a SINGLE pastor because Satan has infiltrated the institutional Church around 300 A.D. and ever since then, it just got worse and worse and worse with the blasphemy and deception.

I don‘t have an exact outline but some of the things I‘d like to talk about are the things you most definitely do NOT need to know, love, follow and obey Jesus Christ: Institutional Church, a Pastor, Religion, Creeds and man-made Doctrines, the Pope, Catholic Catechism, Rules, Bible Commentaries of religious Authors, nothing of that. The literally only thing you need is a Bible, Prayer and JESUS and that‘s all that you need. Of course a congregation is a nice thing to have but trust me, you rather want to be alone with Jesus than to be at your local Sunday Service and be entirely devoid of the presence of Christ, His Holy Spirit.

I will include a handful of testimonies of real people who met Jesus, were born-again and are absolutely in Love with Him, on each of these posts. The variety of people who come to Jesus is just incredible and I cry every time when I see such testimonies because I can so much relate to the emotional atmosphere and how everyone is just so grateful. I have been crying pretty much daily since July just because His love is so overwhelming and a human can not possibly hold it inside without shaking and wanting to burst, tears are the only suitable reaction for me (and as far as I’ve seen in the testimonies, every born-again believer feels the same way, it’s beautiful beyond anything).

I pray that you are open to this series of posts and that maybe God can reach you through them, so that you, too, can be born-again and just joyful and at peace with your life forever and ever.

May Jesus bless you ♡

TESTIMONIES

Melody Alisa -  From New Age to Jesus | My Testimony

Kyle -  Suicidal Atheist Finds Jesus | Testimony

Ayelet -  I am Jewish and I Believe in Yeshua - Jesus!

Shokit Ali -  A Muslim gets saved by Jesus Christ! Powerful Testimony!

Samuel A. Perez -  Gay Stripper Saved By Jesus | Christian Testimony

Dear Dad.

*tw for just about everything*

It's kinda weird.

My dad found my photography Instagram this morning.

I haven't seen his face in like a decade.

He can't see anything about my actual life or even my face on there. Just my name and nature photography from my hikes.

We sent about three texts back and forth a year or two ago when he was diagnosed with cancer.

The last time I heard his voice was senior year of high school, he tried getting my sister kicked out of the Navy, had an insane and immensely abusive wife who was screaming the whole time, he ended up calling my mom a whore and I ended up fracturing my hand from punching my car.

A couple years later his wife died. She OD'd in their house after they had a fight. He left for a few days and her body was just there for three days until the neighbor dog was barking at their house and someone saw her on the ground.

I can imagine that putting a toll on him too. I hate to say it and I would never ever ever about anyone but when it comes to that woman, karma taught her a valuable lesson.

I was the last one in the immediate family to keep visiting him before all that happened. Once I stepped out completely he just lost it.

He looks healthier now, despite the cancer. You can see his smile, and the kind eyes that he had in all of the pictures before his military service. Last time he reached out he said he was getting therapy, anger management, and had a really positive outlook on his fight with cancer.

I want to reach out. Say hi. Start over. I miss him, I really do. I think about the times we'd go to the beach and he'd play smashball (basically beach tennis/volleyball without a net) we even almost got 100 volleys one summer and we were laughing so hard cause we both ate shit right around 93 or 94 trying to make it. The pool barbecues. Going to dumbass movies where we're the only people there so we can be as loud and dumb as we want.

But-

Then there's the hurt. The overwhelming amount of things you've done and said to this family when me and my sister were just kids. Violent, loud, angry, judgemental as fuck. You broke the goddamn window in the kitchen by throwing bread at it my dude. Because we only left the end pieces. I was 6.

My sister told you I was molested. While we were at the dinner table. I was maybe 8 or 9. It had been going on for a couple years. She explained to you what was happening. You could have told Mom, the cops, talked to me, gotten a therapist, or at the very least completely bar that person from stepping close to the family. You brushed it off, you asked her to repeat what she said, she must have been 10, not stupid. Yet you still just brushed it off. Like a boy can't be molested by a female. I'm still all messed up, finally growing and healing. It took until I was 24 years old (this year) to be mildly comfortable with sex and sexuality.

The fights with Mom out in the open, and behind closed doors. I remember eating frosted flakes. Out of that white bowl; it was a wide bowl, not super deep. It had a base of ceramic white and around the rim of the bowl was a deep golden/brown color and painted in black was the sihlloette of a German village. Mom wanted to go back. Get away from the abuse. She wanted to take us with her. I remember walking upstairs with my cereal because I heard loud noises coming from your bedroom. I couldn't have been older than 5 or 6 at this point. I still see my tiny feet taking one stair at a time; concerned about the noises but also trying to not spill the milk because I knew that would send you over the edge. The one part of this extremely vivid memory I can't remember is actually opening the door. I just flash pictures through my brain. Doors open. You one one side of the bedroom; screaming. I can't even remember what you were saying. Mom on the other side, frantically trying to fill a suitcase. You keep throwing everything out of it. The first suitcase you through across the room and then the full laundry hamper right at Mom's face. She fell. Her eyes met mine in the doorway. That look. Her eyes full of fear, hurt, and shame yet only wanting to protect me. She just calmly walked up to me, walked me to my room. She was crying. But still managed to tell me everything was okay, kissed my forehead and told me to finish my frosted flakes before they were soggy. Then she went right back into battle.

She was an illegal immigrant until I was about 12 or 13. You used that to your advantage knowing you could say one thing on our way to the airport to keep her there.

After the big fight Mom finally left you, got an apartment but let us choose if we still wanted to see you.

Despite everything, we did. You're our dad. For every single shit thing you've done, there's been times where your true self shined through and you're fucking awesome. You're funny and kind and caring. You're just sick. Call it PTSD, bipolar, shit just anger?

My sister didn't last long. Reasonably so. You literally threw her across a room into wooden furniture over a burnt pizza that you left in the oven. The funniest part? You always yelled at us when we would let you know timers for the oven went off so that time we didn't tell you. I was a kid and didn't know much so I just turned off the oven and thought that was enough. The pizza burned and you flipped shit. Broke apart the entire kitchen. Mom even sent us over with dinner that night in tupperware containers just in case we needed it. I had to call Mom to get a friend and come over as soon as possible because you had my sister in the kitchen. You didn't even see me run to my phone and make the call you were just so angry you were basically blind.

You told us to hand you our keys to your house if we were actually going back to mom that night. With no hesitation or sadness I just threw the keys to you like you were my homie needing to unlock the garage or something. We left. You never had her back in your life after that. Mom gone. Sister gone. Me? Stupid. I gave it six months to a year. You moved away, got a girlfriend, got a stable job and seemed okay.

You called me, I was 13 or 14, and just wanted to get Starbucks and sit and talk.

So we did. I cried a lot, you apologized a lot and for the first time in my life I saw you cry too. I figured what the hell?

Then I agreed to see you on the weekends again. You brought me into another fucked up situation. Your girlfriend was crazier than you were. So many fights with her and she was the abusive one. You guys ended up getting married. You had such a small circle of people that you had to ask me to be your best man. And I fucking did it.

Then things with her got worse, I had to stop seeing you as much because she was insane, you guys got into a huge fucking fight in public while I was there, then that night you ended up in jail after I was home with Mom because you broke your wife's fuckin arm and jaw. You were both insane and she didn't want to press charges. After that I really had to cut it off with you. You weren't gonna change, nothing was.

Then a decade later here we are.

Your wife has passed away.

You have cancer.

Your ex wife and mother of your children has not spoken to you in years and will never.

Same for your daughter.

Your own brother, my Uncle will barley talk to you and he's a pastor so he kind of has to.

You have your parents and that's about it.

And after EVERYTHING. The emotional and physical abuse, the years of repetitive garbage.

Somehow I still want to reach out. I want to say hi and start over because I miss you. I really do.

I just don't know if I can.

So many empty promises.

So many times we've danced this dance.

It always ends with one of us breaking an ankle.

so I’m watching Louis Theroux Most Hated Family and honestly cannot believe what i am hearing........ reactions down below because w ow this is a parody right???

tl;dr: the Westboro Baptist Church is the most anti-Christian Christianity to ever Christian

im genuinely concerned for the westboro baptist chruch.... are these ppl ok.... do they eat enough..... all their time seems to be dedicated to hating other ppl so like. im just concerned

"Fags eat feces. It's a fact, hun." SDKFDSKFKDSFFKSDKAKJAKJSDJKFKJA the only feces we seem to be encountering in any way is the ones coming out of this woman’s mouth

The guy just looks so done in every. single. shot. I’m so sorry for him 

"but that's not one of the ten commandments" "-5 second pause- ......................... yes it is" LEGENDARY. IM CACKLING THIS IS SO FUNNY 

HOW DOES ADULTERY = BEING GAY IM LAUGHIN 

"you think it's our job to win souls to Christ" uh yeah that's.... that's kinda in the bible. but then again im not sure these people read the bible? all they probably know is that one leviticus quote and the ten commandments

gosh I’m so sorry for those kids...... can i adopt them? I’m their mom now

i’m the old guy giving the finger. relatable

actually i’m all the people yelling at them from the intersection

this is just so funny to me because these soldiers are literally the reason these people are able to protest... that america has the freedoms it does.... oh the irony

the pastor’s wife is wearing trans flag colors.... coincidence? i think not

I know I said this a few points ago but have these people even actually read the Bible? I mean--

I’m so glad Megan left the church, gosh

I’m sure this journalist is an actual angel in disguise because a human just cannot have that much patience. We just can’t

“God’s standard” which standard? i mean i’m guessing it isn’t “love thy neighbour as thyself”

i swear this guy looks in so much physical pain.... Free Him. how far are we willing to go for knowledge? vote now on your phones

“has been excluded” hoping one of the ex-members is gay

OH NO IT’S THE BOOK COVER FROM STRUCK BY LIGHTNING..... i hated reading that book

i mean. if none of the daughters in the church get married the family line actively in the church will eventually die off so like.... u know...... the circle of bigotry has been broken

man i wish i could be on one of the signs of the westboro baptist church.... that’s how u know u made it. that’s how u know u really pissed off the homophobes. a true achievement

“no tears for queers” well that would be nice... u know, not having to cry over ur identity at any point in time. thanks WBC

“jews killed Christ” Jesus was Jewish....................... He was literally a rabbi........

U TELL HIM LOUIS (reporter guy)

there are so many funny things in this vid and abt these people’s beliefs but the funniest is probably the notion that you’re going to hell even if you repent or whatever. like, fam, sorry to rain on ur parade but......... we got a whole journal abt this (St. Faustyna’s journal)..... Jesus himself came down and literally said “hey my Mercy is available to all if they believe in me”...... sorry u had to find out like this

 ANTS ON A BANANA

sorry but a kid with one (1) Saturday school lesson about Jesus has more knowledge abt the bible than Fred Phelps

no friends? no romantic relationships? these kids are being literally emotionally abused, where are the child services?

“how old are you?” “seven” im about to cry, this is horrifying? these people should not be raising these children

THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE SIGN MEANS IM LEGIT ABT TO CRY

“what else do you have to be to be in trouble with god?” “swedish?” FAVE

“according to the Mosaic code--” my longest deep sigh ever

now i really don’t like WBC but hitting a kid is p messed up... homeboy probably doesn’t even know what he’s doing

“they’re such cowards, who would hit a child” the one thing i agree on

“dyke liberty” wait how is that negative? like hell yea i want dyke liberty!!!! justice for my dykes

“God duped you into fighting a war” but wait what were the Crusades if not a war......... kinda getting a mixed message here

“i don’t know how to deal with a question like that” maybe because you don’t know how to answer it... because everything that comes out of that church is so anti-Bible and incorrect......

“no, to go and preach the Gospel” u mean the Gospel of Jesus Christ, right? the human Son of God who loves everyone and spent most of his ministry helping the poor, aiding the oppressed, and healing the sick? ok just checking, it’s definitely not that Gospel they’re preaching

“not a chance, poopy pants” who takes these people seriously???

a random thought but has the Vatican recognized the WBC as a cult yet?

“i’m preaching what the Bible says” where?? where is it?????

“what you’re trying to turn yourself into God” again, ironic, because that’s what they’re doing

“it’s the righteous judgement of God Almighty” i’m just thinkin abt that one passage in the New Testament where one of the disciples asks Jesus what crimes a blind man or his parents have committed to make him blind, and Jesus responding that it was neither his parents nor the man

wow that was..... a ride all the way through

Alright well, today was overall pretty good. Alarm went off at 9 and had to fight with myself a little bit, but forced myself to get up. At some point during the service I think my eyes were getting really heavy again but that's just kind of been happening lately. But yeah, make it to church and I chill in the volunteer lounge for a few minutes (they have food) while they're clearing the sanctuary for the next service (they have a 15 minute turnover time between services, which is pretty damn impressive). So then we go to church, and the female lead pastor is speaking and I guess I was a bit more sleepier than I thought because I can't think of a single thing she said right now, though I'm sure something will come back to me later on it. But once that was over I headed up to the nursery, and soon suspected we were gonna be short staffed again because my other helper was nowhere in sight. The lady who's over the whole nursery texted her and she responded that she didn't think she was on this week, but like, if you check the online schedule she's signed up for every week this month. Like if that was an accident it's fine but let us know so we can actually figure out how many people we'll need. We had a good number of younger babies, which of course require more attention to keep from not crying generally, so thankfully the lady in charge stayed with me and we mostly managed, though it was pretty rough at some points. There was one little girl I ended up holding for most of the time and feeding her her bottle on and off. She for fussy every so often, but for the most part wasn't too bad, just didn't want to be put down lol. Then there was a younger one, about 3 months old, and she was good for maybe the first 10 minutes, then just lost it and was inconsolable. We tried a bunch of different things to try and help, probably for a solid 20 minutes (our general cry policy is 10 minutes) before texting her mom who came and got her. The third baby was a bigger one, probably somewhere between 1 and 1 1/2, and she was so funny. No cry at all, just running around and making these shrieks of delight in the ball pit and I was just very glad she wasn't crying haha. Then the last one was a little boy, about 4 months I think, who cried a bit on and off but was fine for most of the time, then towards the end just lost it and we had to wait for his mom to get him. So yeah, not the best week but we made it through. Next weekend is gonna be real busy because of Easter services on Saturday and Sunday, so that's gonna be fun. Took the train and ended my lucky streak of just catching buses, because as I ran out of the train station I saw the bus pulling away from the other side of the street. Well dammit. So I got a donut and some tea and waited, which certainly isn't the worst predicament, lol. The next one was only like ten minutes later, so I ended up getting home not too late, and then pretty much immediately it was time to work on my appellate brief, so I dove into that for my solid 5 hour chunks I usually work in, and I actually made a lot more progress than I thought I would, and I think I might actually be done??? There's just like, a lot of little things that need to be done but they don't actually take that long collectively. I'm sure I'll proofread it more, but I'm under the word limit for once which I'm not sad about because the word limit is so fucking high it really doesn't matter at this point (the limit is 8750, I currently have around 8200). But most of the substance is there, I'll just have to scour it for smaller errors. It was definitely hard work for the hours in, and just making myself concentrate on this stuff tends to just hurt my brain when I have to follow a formula I know is bullshit and I know I can make my point just fine in way less words and not waste anyone's time. Sigh. But thankfully I finished it by 7:15 or so, so I had a little extra time (since I scheduled myself to finish at 8:00 as usual). I talked to my trial ad partner earlier in the day and told him I was swamped with appellate brief so he said he would take care of the motions we had to tender to the other side today, which was a huge help being that it's just one more thing I don't have to work about. In bit overly worried about that class. So yeah, I settled in and watched a little crazy ex-girlfriend before watching Chicago Justice because it happened to be on, and God this show just continues to piss me off more and more each episode. Like I'm seriously considering stopping watching the show because I'm getting so fed up with their bs. Like, yes the good wife made legal mistakes, but it was at least obvious they were consulting actual lawyers on these matters. Chicago Justice makes it very clear they have done no research on anything. Like, just in tonight's episode they lied about the process of getting an order of protection/no stalking order and made huge and complete misrepresentations about how the DCFS hotline call systems works. Also, I highly doubt the judge would let the child of a dead mother be called as a witness in the murder trial against his father, at least not in open court. That poor kid is definitely gonna be traumatized for that, sorry. I was kind of surprised by the way they did end it, just because I didn't expect them to do that, but the judge was totally right the law was just not there to support a first degree murder charge on those facts. I'd love to see the laws changed like they show him attempting to in the end, but idk how likely that is. But anyway. More crazy ex-girlfriend after that, the second season of which has become quite entertaining between the gurl group and all the Paula going for law school stuff that I appreciate of course. Okay, that rounds up my day and I'd like to to sleep now so I'll be doing that. Goodnight sweethearts. Stay golden.

Chapter 3

     The he in question was not the pastoral Wentworth, but his brother. To most of the world, this variety of Wentworth was a diplomat. To Anne, he was an ex almost-fiance. He had come to stay with Pastor Wentworth the year of Anne’s senior year in college. Even then he was a remarkable young man - he was fresh out of college and pushing hard for a job with the international diplomatic corps. He was intelligent, serious, exuding a happy confidence. When Anne met him, she was still in her first bloom; her eyes sparked with life, and she was one of the few people who can embody both common sense and deep feeling. 

Only half the attraction they both felt would have been necessary to bring them together - he had nothing to do all summer other than wait for his contacts to respond, and she had almost no one to love. Meeting under such prime conditions meant they could hardly help but fall in love. A deep friendship and compatibility were the cherries on top, which seemed to put them on a path towards a lasting relationship. Although they had gotten to know each other slowly (Anne could not put a point of time when she had first seen or spoken to him), once they knew each other, they were completely sold out. They quickly came to the point of knowing each other through and through, from family history to current mood based on a raised eyebrow. He learned about Anne’s mother, and the effect her death had had on the entire family. She discovered how he had gotten the nickname Captain (it had to do with signing up to captain a soccer team when he was ten, and then never showing up for a single practice), and heard stories of all the Wentworth siblings - where they had been adopted from, their personalities, and how all of them had eventually moved east for work. Every detail was part of a sculpture of their past, present, and future -  a future which they speedily assumed would be intertwined. 

     What they had was a mutual affection between equals, and no one looking on could say who was happier. Not that many people were looking on; Mary was busy with summer school and out most of the time, so that only left Pastor Wentworth, Senator Walter, Liz, and Mrs. Russell. Pastor Wentworth was ecstatic to see his brother living outside of his vocational pursuits, Liz was indifferent, and the Senator (although not outright condemning the relationship) refused to give it any serious thought or comment. The year that Anne was in the relationship, he gave it the silent treatment. In Senator Walter’s well-documented opinion, diplomats were politicians who weren’t good enough to get elected and stay on U.S. soil. Particularly diplomats who were raised in Wyoming and looked Middle-Eastern (Anne found both of these things to be attractive qualities, but they repelled the senator away from anything close to approval). Since the topic was not a popular one with the senator, Anne did not keep him in the loop with how things were going, even when Cap first started talking about marriage. Anne had been curled up on the floor of her dorm room, doodling around her spring finals notes and talking to him on the phone when he had first broached the subject.

    “Anne, what would you think about getting married?” Her busily sketching pen stopped abruptly.

    “Getting married in general, or…?”

    “You and me. Getting married.”

    “Oh, well, I didn’t want to assume that is what you were asking. I didn’t want to misunderstand you, then have you cornered into marrying me or something.”

    “Anne, you are the least presumptuous person I know. And do I seem like the kind of person who is going to let myself get cornered into getting married?”

    “Your politeness is one of your finer points,” she defended herself.

    “Well, I am not thinking about marrying you to be polite, I promise. You’d be the one doing me a favor. And I don’t need an answer right away, I know this came a little out of left field.”

    “I mean, a little - I knew things were going well, and I kinda assumed we would get here eventually. What made it less eventual for you?”

    “You know the diplomatic assignment I was hoping for?”

    “Yes.”

    “You know how people in Washington say they work for the government, but can’t go into a lot of detail about what they do?”

    “Yeah, as a D.C. kid I met a handful of people like that over the years. You just learn what questions not to ask”

    “Well, I have been accepted into...one of those positions.”

    “You’re a spook?”

    “I’m about to be in a government position I can’t talk about.” He said carefully. Anne leaned back against the wall.

    “Okay, so how does not communicating work with a relationship?”

    “Well, that’s why I was thinking about marriage. If we were married, I could tell you more. Not everything, but more. You would have a right to know at least generally where I am, and what I’m up to. I do want you to know what’s going on, and I do want you in as much of my life as possible. Like I said, you can take some time to think about it - but my assignments will start in August.”

    “Well, everything is figure-outable, right?”

    “If we put our heads together, I think we can make anything work.”

     After this discussion, Anne approached both her father and Mrs. Russell - not with the CIA side of things, of course, but with the general situation. The senator continued to not actually forbid the relationship, but also to withhold his approval. Mrs. Russell also saw it all in a dim light - but her views were far less influenced by the fact he was a Washington outsider. She saw this as a chance for Anne to throw her future away for a somewhat unknown person. Anne was young; she had the world before her, she had just been offered a scholarship towards a master’s degree. All he had to offer was himself; no established career, no guarantees other than his leaving the country shortly after marriage. Although he said he wanted Anne to continue her education, Mrs. Russell saw marriage as Anne’s chances of completing her education plummeting. To her, this was young Anne (full of life and potential) being snatched away by a stranger. To be allied with someone who must also be married to his duty, to share the anxieties and rootlessness that came with his career, it broke her motherly heart to see a bright future degraded into - well, what Anne’s mother had experienced, more or less.

    Cap was aware that he was not offering much, but he was sure - so sure - that he could make a viable career (and more than that a happy, loving life for Anne). His confidence was enough for Anne, and his strength fed her own. She thought that they were enough for one another, but Mrs. Russell saw things differently. She saw his confidence as reckless blind faith. To Mrs. Russell, risk was a thing to be entirely avoided - and Captain Wentworth represented nothing but risk. Anne could have withstood her father’s reasoning (or lack thereof) and disapproval. On the other hand, Mrs. Russell’s advice was harder to overlook. Her counsel was grounded in love, and certainly seemed sound. It was not spontaneous or giddy or overwhelmingly happy like Anne’s love, but it was certainly more pragmatic. After countless late night phone calls and sleepless nights, Anne was convinced within her own mind that it was best to end the relationship. She was persuaded that getting married was not only a bad idea, it was a wrong one. Of course she was not just swayed by seemingly selfish caution; the only thing that gave her the resolve she needed to end the relationship was thinking that it was for his good, as well of hers. She felt that it would be morally wrong for her to accept him. Her own mind had echoed for days with ways being unmarried would help advance his career, how she could be used against him, how for his own safety he needed to be 100% focused, without distraction. The belief that she was acting in his interests was her only consolation - and Anne needed every shred of comfort she could get, since she endured not only the pain of a bad breakup, but also knowing his bad opinion of her. He thought she had caved in to the snobbish tendencies of her family, that Mrs. Russell’s (and later Anne’s) concerns were rooted in a distrust of him. He had disappeared into the service with these thoughts, and had remained entirely out of her life.

    They had known each other for a year, but anyone who has been lucky enough to find someone their soul loves knows the impact one short year can have. Overshadowing any happier times, the reverberations of the relationship impacted Anne for all the years following. More than five years had gone by, and there wasn’t one day when she had not thought of him, or felt the ache of regret. All of the butterflies that had once filled her whenever she heard his voice had turned to stone, and it was almost like they were still inside of her, weighing her down, and mocking her for ever having thrown herself into love. She got to the point where she could not remember a time when his name was not synonymous with the pain in her heart. Probably part of the problem was that she had added no variety to her life other than time, which passed without her permission. Anne went to work, she read, and she enjoyed watching quiz shows at night. She went on vacation only when her family insisted that she should come along (knowing the Elliots, can you really blame her?). No one who came into their circles could ever compare with her memories of Cap. A new love is the quickest cure for an old, pining one - but Anne could not find it. Charles Musgrove had taken her out a couple of times when she had come home to take care of her father, but she just could not generate the feelings she knew should be around for a long-term relationship. Mrs. Russell had been dissatisfied this turn of events; she had liked steady, thirty-year-career-path Charles, but (to her credit) she kept her disappointment to herself. After Anne ended her relationship with Cap, she and Mrs. Russell never discussed it. Anne never so much as alluded to it in all of their time spent together. Although she did not blame Mrs. Russell for the outcome, or her younger self for taking her advice, at twenty-seven she thought very differently of the whole situation. Anne knew that if a younger girl in the same situation asked for her counsel, she would not give them advice that would lead to such immediate misery, with only a 50/50 (maybe less) shot at happiness in the future. Comparatively, the life she had chosen to give up (even with all of the uncertainty, all the worry and secrecy involved in his work) would have been bliss compared to the last stretch of years.

    Despite having limited resources of finding out how he had been, Anne gleaned that Cap’s confidence had paid off. Law enforcement agencies really ought to tap into the intelligence resource that is ex love interests searching (with no-traces-left meticulousness) through all of the social media accounts of said love interest, their friends, and their family. FBI research hath no fervor like a woman in pursuit of information on her ex-boyfriend. From her extensive reconnaissance, Anne knew he had been all over the world, that his career had been treating him relatively well, and that he had never remarried - his family had never even posted photographs of him with another girl. This research happened in Anne’s moments of weakness - most of the time, Anne thought it beneath her dignity, but about once a year, on a very lonely Friday night, she gave in. Not that it made her feel any better - most of the time she walked away vowing never to check on him again with a familiar, cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. Anne had been forced to be wise and practical in her younger years, and so it was only as she got older that she learned romance. This is the reverse of typical experience, but learning to appreciate reckless abandon was a natural, reasonable consequence of her careful caution.

    With all of these circumstances, thoughts, and feelings floating around in Anne’s mind, she could not think of Captain/Frederick Wentworth visiting her home without a twinge of distress. Try as she might to tell herself it was ridiculous, that if she just tried hard enough she could ignore awkwardness and discomfort of it all, she could not be completely comfortable with the idea. Considering the fact that the Crofts, their relations, and their business were all that her family talked about for the next couple of weeks, she had to at least reconcile herself to the idea of the Crofts themselves. Her father, Mrs. Russell, and her sister acted like they had no memory of a little detail like her almost marrying Mrs. Croft’s brother-in-law. The oblivion (or feigned mindlessness, whatever it was) was almost a relief to her. She knew none of them would even think to breath a word to the rest of the world, since they could not be bothered to remember it with Anne around. Because Mrs. Croft had been on base near her husband during the entire year of Anne and Cap’s relationship, Anne thought that she would be safe from her realizing who she was. With all of this, she steeled herself for the eventual (inevitable) acquaintance with the assurance of all the awkwardness existing only inside of her own head.

Here ye, here ye! The author would like you to know that the decision to have Wentworth called Captain or Cap has nothing to do with Captain America of late popular acclaim, and everything to do with the fact the author could not bear the idea of a protagonist named Frederick or Fred. That is all, carry on.

Chapter 4: http://bit.ly/2hXEKgL

Guilty verdict: Dallas ex-cop Amber Guyger convicted of murder in neighbor's shooting

New Post has been published on https://newsprofixpro.com/moxie/2019/10/01/guilty-verdict-dallas-ex-cop-amber-guyger-convicted-of-murder-in-neighbors-shooting/

Guilty verdict: Dallas ex-cop Amber Guyger convicted of murder in neighbor's shooting

CLOSE A former Dallas police officer has been found guilty of murder after fatally shooting a neighbor she thought was an intruder. WochitA former Dallas police officer who fatally shot a black neighbor she mistook for an intruder was convicted of murder Tuesday and could face life in prison.Amber Guyger, who is white, had testified that she was exhausted from an extended shift when she walked into the apartment of Botham Jean thinking it was her own. Guyger said she believed Jean, 26, was a burglar and shot him in self-defense.But prosecutor Jason Hermus said Guyger should have known she was in the wrong apartment and was distracted by a phone call with a lover. Jean, an accountant from St. Lucia, never posed a threat to Guyger and was eating a bowl of ice cream in his living room when she walked in on Sept. 6, 2018, Hermus said. Guyger, 31, is facing five to 99 years in prison. The jury, which took only hours to render the verdict after six days of testimony, went into the punishment phase of the trial Tuesday afternoon. It’s not clear how long it will take the jurors to decide on the sentence. The trial has recessed for the day.Allison Jean, Botham Jean’s mother, was among those who testified at the punishment phase, telling the jury about the impact of losing her son shortly before he was to turn 27.“My life has not been the same,” she said. “It’s just been like a roller coaster. I can’t sleep, I cannot eat. It’s just been the most terrible time for me.”Guyger’s defense lawyers may argue that she deserves a light sentence because she acted out of sudden fear and confusion. However, their case might become harder to make after prosecutors in the afternoon session showed the jury text messages from Guyger’s cellphone that hint at insensitivity toward black people.The messages, accepted as evidence over defense objections, include an exchange from Jan. 15, 2018, when she was working security during the Martin Luther King Jr. Day parade in Dallas.Guyger complained about the parade possibly taking three hours, suggested participants could be pushed or pepper sprayed, and when asked when the parade would be over, texted back, “When MLK is dead … Oh, wait …”Cheers erupted in the courthouse as the verdict was announced, while Jean’s relatives and others embraced and someone yelled “Thank you, Jesus!”In the hallway outside the courtroom, a crowd celebrated and exclaimed, “Black lives matter.”Guyger sat alone, weeping, at the defense table.The case, one in a string of episodes of white police officers killing unarmed black men, drew national attention and was closely followed in the Dallas area, where some feared mass protests if Guyger had been acquitted.The Rev. Frederick Haynes, senior pastor at Friendship-West Baptist Church and a longtime African American leader in Dallas, told the Dallas Morning News he was relieved and surprised when he heard the verdict.“Given the history in this country it is surprising,” Haynes said. “I would have been shocked if she’d been found not guilty. The message here is ‘justice for all’ and not just for some.”The Morning News reported that city officials expected demonstrations regardless of the verdict. “I have watched our city become divided in this conversation over the past year, and I’m really hopeful that this verdict and justice will help us … move forward as a united city,” Dallas City Council member Adam Bazaldua told the newspaper.The jury that convicted Guyger was largely made up of women and people of color.Lee Merritt, one of the lawyers representing Jean’s family, said the guilty verdict will have implications well beyond Dallas, helping change policing culture globally.Wake Forest University law professor Kami Chavis, a former assistant U.S. attorney who specializes in police accountability, is not so sure. She said the unique circumstances of the case and other factors make it difficult to conclude this will be a turning point in the relationship between police and communities of color.”While there is certainly a victory in this case and justice for the Jean family, the confluence of racial stereotypes, racial profiling and police use of aggressive tactics is a challenge in confronting police brutality,” Chavis said.The jury began deliberations Monday afternoon and reached the verdict shortly after returning to court on Tuesday morning.Guyger said she had parked on the wrong level of her apartment building’s parking garage by mistake and walked down a corridor to the apartment directly above hers, thinking it was her own. She became worried when she noticed the door was unlocked, she said.Hermus said that was when Guyger should have called for backup. Instead, Guyger testified that she feared for her safety when she spotted Jean in the dark apartment, thinking he was a burglar. She said she shot him with her service gun when he failed to obey her command to put his hands up.Defense lawyer Toby Shook told the jury that Guyger had to make a split-second decision and that Jean’s death was the result of “a series of horrible mistakes.’’Guyger called 911 after the shooting. She can be heard apologizing to Jean – and saying  “I’m gonna lose my job” and “I am going to need a supervisor” in the six-minute recording. Guyger was arrested days after the shooting and subsequently fired by the Dallas Police Department. The jury was asked to decide whether Guyger was guilty of murder, a lesser crime such as manslaughter or whether she should be acquitted.During her testimony last week, the first time she spoke publicly about that night, Guyger wept as she expressed remorse for the killing.“I hate that I have to live with this every single day of my life and I ask God for forgiveness, and I hate myself every single day,” Guyger said as she looked across the courtroom at Jean’s family. “I wish he was the one with the gun and he killed me.”Contributing: The Associated PressRead or Share this story: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/10/01/dallas-jury-deliberating-fate-cop-who-mistakenly-killed-neighbor/3828562002/ Read More

Hi, I'm an 18 year old ex-Christian, and I was raised within a variety of a cultish communities in the evangelical south. AMA. via /r/atheism

Submitted August 26, 2019 at 07:26PM by DJSpook (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2U2zfg6) Hi, I'm an 18 year old ex-Christian, and I was raised within a variety of a cultish communities in the evangelical south. AMA.

I think it's safe to say I've more-or-less seen it all. My parents attempted to perform exorcisms on me and my older brother, who they refused enrollment into an Ivy League school into which he was enthusiastically admitted for fear of the "liberal indoctrination" he would have experienced there.

I spent almost a decade attending a megachurch with a multi-millionaire pastor with multiple luxury houses who masterfully manipulated my barely-literate father into donating several hundred thousand dollars worth of free construction services and charitable monetary infusions to said church.

I was enrolled against my consent into an infamous, headline-making, supreme-court-appearing Christian high-school, which has privately held mass student body meetings for speeches that compared homosexuals to "ticking time bombs" and "the splattering guts of roadkill possums," and which dramatically denied entry to a gay couple at a school dance (One of whom became the subject of CNN coverage interest, and was subsequently approached by several syndicated journalists. However, her parents coerced her into silence and committed her into a "remedial therapy center" for several weeks, known also as a gay conversion camp).

I was sent to a two-week Christian apologetics camp known as "Summit Ministries" in Dayton Tennessee (progenitor of the infamous Scopes Monkey Trial), where public speakers and evangelical attorneys regaled us with tales of that holy ground and preached evolution-denial ad nauseam for hours a day. There, I met Frank Turek, who, while conversing with him about his famous debate with Christopher Hitchens, privately confided in me that he secretly had no idea what his opponent was saying and for minutes at a time "experienced my mind going blank" against a torrent of literary references and scholarly pronouncements. At the time I was still a Christian and thought to myself, "Oh, thank *God* Frank has kept this to himself, it's really fortunate for him no one's recording this, because this might be the single most insecure, self-incriminating rant I've ever had the displeasure of enduring."

In the course of this camp I was socially coerced into participating in what might be the single most fucking insane, borderline scandalous thing I have ever experienced, a cultist ritual in which all the male camp attendees were shepherded into an open field late at night (the overwhelming majority of us being legal minors), bound together by rope, and approached in a strange pattern by the camp supervisors with knives while they muttered ancient latin ("Imago Dei") and ceremoniously cut each of our ropes while we bowed our heads in prayer.

During a mandatory class on Christian theology and apologetics required during my senior year of high school, I publicly apostatized from the Christian faith, calling into question the moral defensibility of the doctrine of Hell, and immediately hurtled to lows of social isolation and stigma that caused me a clinically significant anxiety disorder. After that point, teachers began to approach me in private and ask me to stay after class or in their offices to address me in insultingly solemn tones, speaking to me as if I had just received a terminal diagnosis of brain cancer.

My father caught me with a copy of The God Delusion and, I swear it to God the God I don't believe in, actually threatened to perform a Nazi-style book burning in our house over it. I managed to convince him that I was only researching "the other side" to improve my "evangelistic prowess," but he's since become increasingly skeptical. After my brother professed his atheism, my parents proceeded to viciously emotionally abuse him as tears came in sheets down their faces, and since then they have aggressively attempted to coax him back into the fold at every available opportunity, performed exorcisms on him and myself, attempted to monitor and regulate all communications he has had with me and my younger brother (who they have taken great pains to poison against him), and in the succeeding weeks my mother threatened to commit me into a psychiatric hospital on several occasions for not wanting to go to a Christian youth ministry for social outings.

I am honestly at the point where I don't know what to do. I feel incredibly alone and voiceless and I just want someone to hear my story. I have considered making YouTube videos about it but I realize how hard it is to get exposure there now with all the vying commentators. For what it's worth, Tara Westover's memoir Educated made me finally summon the will to write this, and if anyone ever reads this I hope they'll know how much her story changed my life and showed me that it's possible to be saved from all of this.

Edit:

After writing this my brother reminded me to include this chilling anecdote: at a prayer meeting with a few of the more prominent men in our church, one of the deacons explained to grunts of approval and several solemn "amen"'s that he was currently struggling to convince his daughter to give up her aspirations to go to college because "I firmly believe it is not a woman's place to be the most educated person in the house!" According to him there was some enthusiastic nodding and a few of the men even gave a hearty laugh at that comment. Worse still, as far as we can tell that man got his way, and quite successfully quashed his daughter's satanic ambitions to have a brain of her own.

Thanksgiving!

What is Thanksgiving really about?

     Thanksgiving should be a day to share a meal with loved ones and be a little more thankful. I spend my Thanksgiving being thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to share a meal with my family. This important for us to know so we are able to have a great Thanksgiving day that can be filled love and happiness.

The History

     According Graham Woodlief and Barbara Ramos gave a lecture at the Virginia Museum of History and Culture uncovering the misconceptions of the history of The first thanksgiving. In their lecture, they talk how most Americans are usually taught that the first thanksgiving has to with the Pilgrims in Massachusetts in 1621. But in their research the first Thanksgiving was a year earlier by a group of Englishmen landed at Berkeley Hundred on the James River in Virginia. The ship Margaret was sailed by Captain John Woodlief and thirty-seven men sailed from Bristol, England. They reached Berkeley Hundred in December 4, 1619. They were were grateful they had found a land in which they could grow their crops. So, they decided to make it a day to give thanks to God. In the lecture, Woodlief explains how the Berkeley celebration was more religious. They were most focused on prayer than the festival of food in Massachusetts by Plymouth Pilgrims in Massachusetts. 

Today, most people celebrate Thanksgiving by sharing a meal with their family. In the traditional meals I have seen, have included things like turkey, stuffing, potatoes, corn, pumpkin and apples. According to a ‘New York Times’ article The American Thanksgiving asked 15 families across the country to show them their holiday dishes that can show their heritage and traditions. Diane Yang from Junction city, Wisconsin makes a Egg roll filling, used to stuff the turkey for her thanksgiving dinner. Her parents found asylum in the U.S. after fleeing Laos and says, “In November it is time of new rice which causes feasting. By happy coincidence, Americans, too, celebrate the fall harvest.”

Thanksgiving 2018 

   Thanksgiving for me has always been an happy time of year. Since, I was a child I have always spend every single thanksgiving day at church with my family. I have always been taught that it should celebrated as a day to give thanks to our Lord, Jesus Christ. In the Bible, Psalm 95:2-3 says, “Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods.” I had always played my flute with my brother accompanying on piano with traditional christian songs. But this year, due to the passing of my pastor  earlier this year, we have a new pastor and he decided not to have a thanksgiving service. So, my family decided to make a thanksgiving lunch. I had a “Caldo de Pabo” which translates to Turkey Soup. I was able to catch up with all my  family updates and laugh. 

In the afternoon, I went to dinner to my boyfriends’ grandparents house to have even more food and talk. It was really fun being able to hear all the stories they had of my boyfriend Zac. His grandpa had made his own whip cream and added to the pie. It was an amazing dinner. 

The last four years I have participated in the ‘Cincinnati Fall Feast’ as a spanish translator. This is my favorite memory of thanksgiving because I am able to volunteer and help people who are in need in the Cincinnati area. The event offers free services for those in need.

Many services include:

Free Coats

Free Haircuts

Free Health Clinic

Free Vision Screenings

Free Pediatric Dental Checkups

Free Flu Shots

Free Books for All Ages

Live Music - Great local bands entertain throughout the day

Kidzone - Games, Puzzles, Crafts, Inflatable Play Areas, A Petting Zoo and more

Big Screen TVs - Watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade and Football Games

     I am able to help people who don’t usually speak english receive benefits that would cost them a lot of money for free. The thanksgiving of 2017, I had met a lady about 50 years old who wasn’t able to speak english receive a vision screening. She got a pair glasses that she said she thought had needed but for last 10 years had been avoiding because she didn’t have insurance and money. It truly was an amazing and memorable moment. She was incredibly happy and so grateful.

What Thanksgiving Means to Me

     Thanksgiving should be a day to share a meal with loved ones and to be a little more thankful for everything. I spend my Thanksgiving being thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to share a meal with my family. Many people believe the same thing or like to think it’s a day you get to eat a lot of food, which can also be the case. But we need to understand the importance of Thanksgiving because we never know when will be the next time we get to spend time with them. Many people don’t have privilege to share a meal with their loved ones due to financial status, sickness or even death. So, it is important to cherish the meal we get to spend with our loved ones.

Works Cited

“Cincy Event.” Fall Feast, fallfeast.org/fallfeast-event/.

Desantis, Produced Alicia, et al. “The American Thanksgiving.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 16 Nov. 2016, www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/11/16/dining/thanksgiving-dinner-in-america.html.

“Psalm 95:2-3 - Let Us Come before Him with Thanksgiving and Ex...” Bible Study Tools, Salem Web Network, www.biblestudytools.com/psalms/passage/?q=psalm+95:2-3.

“Virginia Museum of History & Culture.” Thomas Jefferson and the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom | Virginia Museum of History & Culture Thomas Jefferson and the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom, www.virginiahistory.org/read-watch-listen/video-and-audio/first-thanksgiving.

They Blinded Me Without Science

It was another crazy week in what feels like the fifth year of the Trump administration, and I’m just trying to keep up with the insanity. You know, people told me after the election, “Look at the bright side, with Trump in the White House, the comedy will just write itself!” I wish that were the case. I’m finding out that the comedy does not just write itself. That would be really cool if it did, I could just get on stage and read from the newspaper and look like a latter day, fatter-day Mort Sahl, or I could just cut and paste from the Washington Post and send my column in, then get back to arguing with my cat. But no, I actually have to write the comedy myself.

President Donnie Darko turned the crazy up to eleven this week. This week’s politics was crazier than a shoeshine in a shitstorm. This week was crazier than a Klansman at a White Sale. This week was crazier than a Nickelback fan club.

Trump declared war on Nordstrom for dropping his daughter Ivanka’s clothing line, which caused their company stock price to rise overnight. See, people? He’s making the economy better already! Maybe if he attacks a few more American businesses, he might just make this place great again after all. And isn’t he the guy who said he was going to bring businesses back to America? So why attack companies that didn’t leave the country? Maybe he wants to chase them out first, so he can then bring them back. I have no idea. And such a shame for Ivanka, her fall ‘Back to Parochial School’ collection reflects the sense of Oscar De la Renta, and the non-sense of Betsy DeVos. And her summer swimwear ‘Beach Clothes for the Beach Closed!’ collection is made of coal and oil stain-resistant fabrics, since now the coal companies can legally pollute the rivers again and the Dakota Access Pipeline is being built. No matter what sludge you swim in, you’ll get out looking dapper. And DAPL.

Trump tweeted on Wednesday: “My daughter Ivanka has been treated so unfairly by @Nordstrom. She is a great person -- always pushing me to do the right thing! Terrible!” Trump was so upset, he was barely able to get back to work and deport the mother of two American children that same day. Yep, Mr. President, it sure is unfair and terrible when a family member gets kicked out of someplace. Alas, I’m afraid we are living in a land without irony.

What else. Oh yes, Trump referred to a federal judge as a “so-called judge.” Always a good move. I know a guy who called a judge a “so-called judge” once, and I’ll see him again in 3-5 years. And that was just in traffic court. Trump was angry that the judge ruled against him over his travel ban, and his executive order will not be followed. Man, this world has changed. When I was young, the only travel ban we followed was the Grateful Dead. Preferably in a 1983 VW bus covered with bumper stickers of dancing bears and lightning-bolt skulls. Ah, youth!

So Trump appealed the ruling, and now a three-judge panel on the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled unanimously against him as well. Trump accepted the ruling with all the quiet dignity of Charles Manson being denied parole. Trump tweeted: “SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE!” First of all, anyone who tweets in all caps is clinically insane. We all know that. That right there should be an impeachable offence, way higher on the list than an adulterous intern blowjob. But to tell a judge “SEE YOU IN COURT”? Is that supposed to sound intimidating? That line only works on all the small-business independent contractors that he has refused to pay for their services. That doesn’t work on judges, they’re already in court. That’s their home, court, and they rule in court. Literally. That’s like trying to intimidate LeBron James by saying “SEE YOU ON THE BASKETBALL COURT!” That’s like telling a Great White Shark “SEE YOU IN THE OCEAN!” They aren’t scared, and you’re gonna need a bigger boat. His reaction reminds me of the Carl Sandburg quote, “If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell.” And tweet it, in all caps.

But here’s what I really want to talk about, people are beginning to push back against the Trump agenda. Maybe the Borg and the Daleks were wrong when they said “Resistance is futile!” In cities all across the country, protesters are showing up at town hall meetings, private homes of Senators, and they even blocked Betsy DeVos from entering a public school. She thought she could count on public support, but it turns out she just plain can’t count. The best argument for funding our public schools is the fact that Betsy DeVos is the result of attending private schools. Republicans were on the run, scurrying away from scheduled media events and public appearances as they found crowds of ornery woke people waiting for them. As for me, I’m trying to be woke, but I keep hitting the snooze button. I’m sure I’ll do better when we return to daylight savings time.

At a town hall meeting in Salt Lake City, Utah, that hotbed of liberal activism, GOP Congressman Jason Chaffetz was booed and shouted at continuously by an audience chanting “Do you job!”, demanding he investigate national security adviser Michael Flynn or step aside. Flynn may have violated the Logan Act in his repeated contact with the Russian government. I, for one, was surprised to learn that the Logan act actually has nothing to do with adamantium claws. Hmph. Live and learn. Chaffetz may not believe in global warming, but he was feeling the heat, bigly. Chaffetz was sweating like a Nixon debating in a steamroom. Chaffetz was sweating like a German trying to tell a joke. Chaffetz was sweating like your balls in Bahrain. Chaffetz was sweating like the guy in the red shirt on the original Star Trek. He knows the minute they beam down he’ll be killed by a Horta or the Gorn. That’s why he’s there, because somebody has to die to advance the plot, and it sure as hell can’t be Shatner and Nimoy! But that doesn’t make dying on an alien planet any easier.

Things got really bad for Chaffetz when he faced tough questions from a member of the audience with superior intelligence, a 9 year old girl. She stood up and asked Chaffetz what he would do when it comes to protecting the environment. When he started stammering a non-answer, the girl hit him with a follow up question that left Chaffetz looking for a fire alarm to pull. “Do you believe in science?” she asked. “Because I do!” Boom. Crowd roars. Mic drop. One and done, son. It must be embarrassing to be schooled by someone actually in grade-school.

He couldn’t give a straight answer. All she asked him was if he believed in science. Yet a Congressman in the 21st Century couldn’t answer “Yes.” WTF? I haven’t seen anything this pathetic since a drunk David Hasselhoff ate a cheeseburger off a bathroom floor. Who the hell won’t say they believe in science? The Mujahideen? Snake-Handling Pentecostal Pastors who speak in tongues? The Pope who locked up Galileo? I grew up in an era when people knew knowledge is power, and every single member of Congress would have answered yes to that question in a heartbeat. You would have to go all the way back to 1925 to the Scopes Monkey Trial to find a public official actively and openly dodging science. Sadly, people are so uninformed today they think the Scopes Monkey Trial involved Dr. Zaius and Harambe. Hey, you know what the difference is between Dr. Zaius and Donald Trump? One is a hateful, orange, science-denying orangutan, and the other one has a medical degree.

Every Congressman since before my grandfather was born has believed in science. Especially since science gave us the atom bombs we dropped on Imperial Japan and won the damn war in three days. Ask the Japanese if they believe in science. They know that our atomic detonations awakened Godzilla from his frozen slumber, and Tokyo paid the price for a dozen movies or more.  “History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of men. Go go Godzilla.” Then Godzilla went back to sleep for a couple of decades when he stopped selling tickets. Hmm, I wonder if it was radiation from the Fukushima reactor core meltdown that brought Godzilla back to life for the 2015 reboot? Although the movie may have been a bigger disaster than Fukushima. I mean, they had a red-hot Brian Cranston in his first movie since winning three best actor Emmys for the greatest television show ever, ‘Breaking Bad’, and what do they do? They kill him in the first ten minutes of the movie. He went from ‘Breaking Bad’ on television to ‘Making Bad’ movies.

Anyway, after entering the Atomic Age, all our politicians believed in science, because it put us at the top of the food chain. We were running this world for decades after the war, and we blinded them with science. And because our politicians believed in science, they put a lot of funding into science, investing in the space program, bringing in the Space Age, and putting America on the Moon. The only men ever on the Moon. Just us, and science. But now the Republican right has decided to reject facts, and reject science.

You know who does believe in science? Iran. They launched a missile test just two weeks ago, which US officials sharply condemned as "provocative" and "irresponsible." Call it what it is, man, “science.” Not believing in science doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, it won’t go away if you ignore it. Unlike your ex. You can say you don’t believe in trains, but I wouldn’t recommend laying on railroad tracks to test your theory. You know who else believes in science? North Korea. They just fired a ballistic missile over 300 miles into the sea of Japan, while in this country Donald Trump just goes ballistic on Twitter. Do we really live in a world where Kim Jong-un, a wobbling weebil of a dictator with a haircut that looks like a matador’s hat,  is more scientific than U.S. Congressmen? Where’s Seth Rogen and James Franco when you need them.

But we know why Jason Chaffetz is running away from science. Because his corporate owners are Climate Change deniers, so he is too, if he wants to get re-elected. In fact, in answer to the girl’s question, he started talking about burning more coal. Clean coal. Clean coal? That’s like saying Clean Aids. That’s like saying Clean Shit. “Nah, I didn’t need to wash my hands, it was Clean Shit. Now let me get start making your dinner.” Then you’ll have Clean Dysentery.

I have the TV on as I write this column, I left it on TMC, half-watching a Fellini movie I didn’t understand a word of, but I like listening to people speak Italian. It makes me feel cultured for some reason. But as I mentioned climate change, I looked up and noticed that the movie had ended and a new movie started. Ice Station Zebra is on right now, where Rock “I swear I’m straight” Hudson races the Russians to a north pole weather station to recover a Soviet spy satellite, with the help of affable idiot Ernest Borgnine, and running back Jim Brown. This was 1968, and they’re walking on foot to the North Pole base, with gunfights, fistfights, and a whole lot of solid ice. That was 1968. Today, they’d be swimming to the North Pole. The only standing they’d be doing at the North Pole now would be on the floating bodies of drowned polar bears. That’s how real climate change is, and the science behind it. But not to Jason Chaffetz. Half his base are greedy corporate bastards who don’t want to stop polluting and risk cutting into their obscene profits, and the other half his base want the world to end so Jesus can come take them all to heaven. Not a lot of incentive for him to embrace reality.

When the crowd chanted at Chaffetz, “Do your job!”, what they don’t realize is he is doing his job, for his real bosses, not for us. He is removing protections for the environment, for workers, for labor unions, basically dismantling society until Americans live a type of unhealthy, impoverished, uninsured existence we haven’t seen since Bob Cratchit’s evil boss had a Christmas nightmare. And you know the ending to a Christmas Carol is bullshit, right? You know that new-found benevolence Scrooge acquired from his visions or visitations or whatever they were wore off pretty quickly in the cold light of day. I bet a week after Christmas, Scrooge was back to his old greedy self, and sent the Cratchits a bill for the turkey he brought them. And he probably sold Tiny Tim to a coal mine, he’s small, and in those tunnels his bad leg doesn’t matter, there’s no room for him to stand up anyway. He probably eliminated Cratchit's job altogether, through downsizing or outsourcing, leaving them destitute. Mrs. Cratchit was probably left with no choice but to walk the cobblestone streets of London as a Victorian prostitute, until she is killed by Jack the Ripper in a gaslit alley.

Hey, speaking of gaslight, anybody remember Gaslight Village? It was a theme park in Lake George village, owned by the same guy who created Frontier Town and Storytown, which is now the Great Escape. Gaslight Village was by far the lamest of the three amusement parks. It was mainly aimed at older adults, who only went because they sold beer and liquor all over the park, so they could put their obnoxious kids on a slow-moving merry go round and toss back a row of boiler makers and maybe this goddamn vacation won’t be a complete waste of time after all. I basically just remember the ads for Gaslight Village, and that barbershop quartet-style jingle. “Gaslight Village, yesterday’s fun today, bo de-oh doe, bo de-oh doe doe doe.”

I went there as a very young kid, it was a 1920’s themed park, so I can’t imagine what ‘yesterday’s fun’ would have been. Not catching tuberculosis? Living through trench warfare on the western front in World War I? That is, if you call surviving trench foot, shell-shock, and mustard gas attacks “living.” You know, I always thought mustard gas sounded delicious. In retrospect, it’s probably a bad idea to name horrible, fatal, chemical nerve-agents after tasty condiments. Thankfully it stopped right there with mustard gas, to my knowledge. I don’t think they ever developed a ketchup virus, or an ebola mayonnaise, or any other killer condiment. Although more than a few people who had the salsa at Chipotle might disagree with me, if they still could. Mustard gas was used on millions of men throughout Germany and France. I wonder, when they fought at Dijon, do you think the mustard gas they used was of a higher quality? Or was it just more expensive? I picture two tanks stopped alongside each other, a man inside one tank asks the other tank, “Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon mustard gas?” But the other tank was German, so they shot him in the face with a Howitzer. Or in Germany, at the battle of Frankfurt, mustard gas sounds like it would be an excellent choice, after all, who doesn't like a frankfurter with mustard? In fact, Italy wanted to get in on the war just so they could get some mustard on Bologna, but the fighting was too far away, so they just went to the store instead.

“It's poetry in motion

And when she turned her eyes to me

As deep as any ocean

As sweet as any harmony

Mm, but she blinded me with science

And failed me in geometry

When she's dancing next to me

"Blinding me with science, science!"

"Science!"

I can hear machinery.”

-Thomas Dolby

Sunday 9/2 11:35pm

friday didn’t have class til noon so i fixed my flat tire. idk i’ve been sleeping terribly (waking up at 5:30/6am and a couple times throughout the night) so i was still kinda tired and didnt want to do much even though i didn’t get up til like 8 or 9. went to linear, katherine’s in that class! not too bad we learned about vectors. then went to design optimization, we talked about like the definition of the phrase pretty much. prof thought it ended half an hour later than it did but realized it when we all started packing up. went to get ice cream at the grad social w kristin since she got done early but then dan was already here so he came too. saw david there giving out bottles! then it was kinda a mess i got more broccoli from kristin, dan and i drove to my apt and i cooked for large group. he stayed home and i went (i knew i’d have to talk to new ppl and wouldn’t really be able to introduce him or talk to him that much so he chose not to go) and apparently emily and jared both asked him like multiple times why he didn’t go and so he wasn’t in the greatest mood which i get, was not ideal. but when i got back we watched some netflix on the couch and i nearly fell asleep, went to bed early so we could get up early. 

left saturday morning at 5 for potsdam, he drove and i tried to sleep in the car. went to crew practice, i sat in the gazebo by the water, it was v nice and sunny out. all the new freshmen were there for the first time. once he was done we went back and got a few groceries and had breakfast then got ready for float fest, what a time. i got to meet his ppl- alex seems v chill, a good guy. steg is a little more out there and energetic, he and devin had constructed the suburu chair w balloons and it actually held up pretty well. they lost their friend matt somewhere on the river he went off with other ppl. there were people smoking weed and cigars which wasn’t pleasant but it was v nice out still and chill to just float down the river. alex, dan, and i swam back up the river a bit to get out at the beach (when we realized there might not be another good stop to get out) and drove back to devin’s for shoes and stuff. dan and i went back and changed, he showed me around campus. when we got back from that they were all back at the apartment, then the other guys were grilling brats and burgers so we ate and then hit the road. i drove, was kind of scared of messing up his car bc its kind of finicky. we switched after like 2.25 hours which was when i saw the text from sage about going on the retreat. also on the way back he told me about how the girl who keeps texting him when she’s drunk/making bad decisions is his ex and it was an inappropriate relationship bc he was 4 years older and now he feels responsible for some of her issues. got back and watched rogue one bc we were both pretty tired, i nearly fell asleep again (definitely missed some parts). 

today we went to the later church service, pastor ed was preaching and i thought he did a good job (and dan was singing). came come and made fajitas for lunch and then we were just sitting and talking a bit until he fell asleep on me for a little while. then he headed out back upstate...it’s never easy saying bye. i tried to get started on hw, got a tiny bit done. after a while jared was like you ready? and i was like for what? so we biked to the turnaround. right before we left i got a text from joe asking if i wanted to play catan so i said yes when i got back i’d come over, told dan and called him quickly on the way there. it was fun, we did 2 games and joe won both. dan had said how he wasn’t thrilled about me going but after we talked some more and he said he knows it’s not healthy and thinks its because hes jealous i’m doing fun things without him. also i was sitting in my room and emily and jared were arguing which was not the most fun to listen to. and earlier jared asked if i wanted to bike to grafton next weekend and i was like idk i’ll see if i can get dan to bring his bike and he was like is he visiting every weekend? and i was like idk? probably a lot? but not every single one? and he’s like okay i was just asking. idk dan was also frustrated bc he’s been sleeping on the sofa and they’re not particularly...quiet ppl like jared slams doors and emily walks really loudly. 

going biking tm with the cycling club, and having dinner w joe and kristin. really should get work done too. 

Diocese of Rockville Center Bishop John Barres blesses Pfeifer’s coffin. (Photo by Frank Rizzo)

In one of his last phone calls from the Port Washington hospice where he lived out his final days, Ray Pfeifer of Hicksville dialed Jon Stewart’s cell phone. The retired NYC firefighter had one final request for the comedian: deliver the eulogy at his funeral.

And so it was that on the first Friday in June, at the Holy Family Church in Hicksville, Stewart stood at the lectern and moved and entertained those mourning Pfeifer, 59, who died from 9/11-related cancers on Sunday, May 28. Pfeifer had spent many months at Ground Zero, which we now know was toxic, and has claimed more victims with each passing year.

Pfeifer and the comic had partnered to successfully get an extension of the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act past a recalcitrant U.S. Senate in 2015. The act funds medical treatment for responders and survivors who have and will experience 9/11 health complications. It had passed in 2010 and signed into law by President Obama in 2011, but it had sunset provisions. Stewart, through his Daily Show, was given credit for helping to pass the original law when it stalled in Congress.

Stewart detailed how Pfeifer, in failing health and getting around in a motorized wheelchair, persuaded reluctant politicians to extend the legislation.

“Because it wasn’t about him,” Stewart pointed out. “It was about service to others. Always do the right thing.”

“I remember how at the end of our lobbying efforts I felt beaten and disgusted by what I had witnessed,” Stewart related. “All I was getting [from senators or aides] was business cards. And I said to Ray, ‘If I get another business card, I’m going to scream.’ And Ray said, ‘I’m OK.’ And I said, ‘How, Ray? How do you maintain your cool in all of this?’ He patted his chest. And he reached in and pulled out prayer cards (from 9/11 firefighters’ funerals). Hundreds of them. He said, ‘I got all the cards I need.’ ”

Here, Stewart’s voice broke as he concluded, “And now, Raymond, I got one (pulling out Pfeifer’s Mass card). And it’s going to teach me how to do right. Thank you.”

NYC Mayor Bill DiBlasio and Fire Commissioner Daniel Nigro were among those who joined Pfeifer’s widow Caryn, son Terence and daughter Taylor, sisters Maryellen, Noreen, Patricia and Kathleen, and brothers Joseph and Daniel.

Words of Remembrance were given by Pfeifer’s sister, Maryellen McKee, who noted, “Those who knew Ray well knew he was a pain in the neck—been that way all his life. And yet look around. Look at all of us here. We’re here to celebrate a man who would have done anything to help anyone.”

Former NYC Fire Commissioner Sal Cassano said that Pfeifer spent countless hours at the site, and “when he wasn’t at the site, he was helping take care of the families of the members of the firehouse, Engine 40-Ladder 15. He made sure their holiday season was a little better than it could be,” Cassano said.

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Ray Pfeifer shows off his “Keys” to New York City after a ceremony in January 2016. (Photo courtesy of NYC Mayor’s Office)

Pfeifer standing in his dress uniform. Born in Queens, he grew up in Levittown—graduating from Division High School—and lived in Hicksville. (Photo courtesy of NYC Mayor’s Office)

After the presentation of the Key to the City, Pfeifer poses with, from left, comedian Jon Stewart, son Terrence, wife Caryn, and daughter Taylor. (Photo courtesy of NYC Mayor’s Office)

Pfeifer got to fulfill a bucket list item when he and Caryn laid a wreath at Arlington National Cemetery earlier this year. (Photo via Facebook)

The 27-year firefighter was thrilled when he got to sponsor a van for the FDNY Family Transport. It was put to use at his funeral on June 3, transporting family members to the church and the cemetery. (Photo via Facebook)

Pfifer also found time to be a volunteer with the East Meadow Fire Department, where he once served as a captain. His helmet and jacket are placed on the FDNY antique carrying his coffin to his final resting place, Holy Rood Cemetery. (Photo by Frank Rizzo)

NYC Mayor Bill DiBlasio greets Caryn Pfeifer, center. (Photo by Frank Rizzo)

“When we found out that Ray was stricken with cancer, we were all devastated,” said Cassano. “He was larger than life. The go-to guy. How could this happen with him? Well, Ray handled illness with courage I’d never seen before, much better than we could have. He was always upbeat, and after you talked to him, you were in a better place.”

Cassano noted, “He liked to call himself the ‘Poster Boy’ [for the 9/11 illness movement]. I liked to call him the ‘Ambassador.’ He did what was needed to be done, whether being a bulldog and chase after some elected official—which was a funny site to see—or be a big teddy bear, with that infectious smile to win over some [official].”

“Today, the FDNY family is hurting, the East Meadow Fire Department family is hurting, the entire firefighting community is hurting at Ray’s loss,” Cassano concluded. “Rest in peace, Ray. Your legacy lives on forever.”

For his efforts in aiding fellow 9/11 survivors, Pfeifer was awarded the “Keys” to NYC in 2016.

“I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than Ray Pfeifer,” Mayor DiBlasio said at the Jan. 9 ceremony. “The key to the city was made for people like Ray Pfeifer.”

DiBlasio went on to note, “People asked him why he stayed [at Ground Zero]. His answer was painful but simple—to find his friends. And that determination, that single-mindedness, that was inspiring. It was inspiring to everyone around him and it was a reminder of what commitment looks like and you can see it in the months and years after, as he fought cancer, and you could see it in the halls of Washington. There is a famous saying about Ray, that he walked 140 miles through the halls of Congress—that’s how relentless he was. It didn’t matter if he was in pain, it didn’t matter if it was a difficult task, it was something he felt he had to do for an entire generation of first responders and survivors.”

Pfeifer got good news before he died: His son Terrence, who joined the FDNY as an EMT in 2015, had scored high on the latest FDNY exam and was slated to join the FDNY Academy’s next class of recruits.

His daughter Taylor is slated to join the Suffolk County Police Department.

Day of Infamy

Pfeifer’s helmet and jacket from the FDNY Company 40-Ladder 35. (Photo by Frank Rizzo)

On Sept. 11, 2001, Pfeifer, who joined the FDNY in 1987, was playing a round of golf with fellow firefighters on his day off. When word came that a plane had slammed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center, Pfeifer and the others rushed to the WTC. He was a member of Engine 40-Ladder 35, near Lincoln Center. According to sources, the firehouse lost 12 members at the WTC that day. Pfeifer himself reportedly barely escaping the collapse that afternoon of World Trade Center 7.

Pfeifer spent eight months at Ground Zero, searching for remains. He often slept in a firetruck or at the firehouse. This devotion ultimately cost him his life.

He first developed what was called “9/11 cough,” and in 2009, doctors discovered that a “baseball-sized” tumor had broken his hip and he was diagnosed with Stage IV renal cancer. He had surgery to remove his hip and part of the femur and soon after had one kidney removed. In subsequent years, the cancer spread, and in May 2014, chemotherapy treatments had so weakened his heart that he suffered a heart attack.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that the most common certified cancers suffered by people in the World Trade Center Health Program were non-melanoma skin cancer, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, melanoma and thyroid cancers. Before cancers were added to the list of certified ailments in September 2012, Pfeifer had to go into debt because of the enormous uncovered medical expenses. For him and thousands of others, extending the Zadroga Act was a crucial event. According to one report, 127 NYC firefighters have died of 9/11-related respiratory illnesses and cancers.

The CDC website lists among the top 10 certified conditions reported by WTC first responders as respiratory illnesses (6,627) and cancers (5,618).

After being assigned to desk duty, Pfeifer finally retired from the FDNY in September 2014.

“I’m being poisoned, and I’m dying, every single day, because of terrorism,”  Pfeifer told an interviewer in 2014. But he added, “I’m a very lucky man. My friends were murdered on 9/11, From that day on, I’m still here. I’m very lucky. I got to watch my kids grow up.”

He had, he once said, spent “27 years, 220 days and nine hours” as a member of “The Bravest.”

“Ray Pfeifer was a true fighter who bravely battled fires as a New York City firefighter and fought tirelessly for all first responders who—like him—suffered from World Trade Center-related illness,” FDNY Commissioner Nigro tweeted. “The entire FDNY family deeply mourns his loss.”

New York Senator Chuck Schumer tweeted: “Just learned that Ray Pfeifer has died. You meet very few truly great men in your life. Ray was one of them.”

“With the death of Ray Pfeifer, New York City has lost a hero and an inspiration. My prayers are with his family and all of the FDNY,” tweeted Mayor DiBlasio.

The East Meadow Fire Department hosted a wake for Pfeifer, an ex-captain. His father Joe Sr., who passed away in 2014, was a 52-year member of the department. Born in Queens to Joe and the former Helen McAdam, Pfeifer grew up in Levittown and graduated from Division High School.

Thomas F. Dalton Funeral Homes handled the arrangements. The Mass was led by Reverend Gerard Gentleman, pastor of Holy Family Church. The Prayer of Commendation was given by Diocese of Rockville Center Bishop John Barres. Pfeifer’s goddaughters, Maggie Manusama and Katherine Aspenleiter, did the readings. The Prayer of the Faithful was read by Pfeifer’s father-in-law, Richard Baldassano.

“Make no mistake, Ray Pfeifer died in the line of duty,” Stewart said in his eulogy. “But more importantly, Ray Pfeifer lived in the line of duty. Now and forever. That’s what I remember most about him.”

Feal Remembers

The firetruck carrying Pfeifer’s coffin was part of a long procession on South Broadway in Hicksville. (Photo by Frank Rizzo)

After the funeral Mass, Long Island Weekly spoke with John Feal of the Feal Food Foundation, whose aim is to help responders affected by 9/11 illnesses.

It was Feal who partnered Pfeifer with Stewart during the effort to extend the Zadroga legislation.

“I met Ray nine years ago, and felt an instant bond. Ray had an aura about him,” said Feal. “He made people gravitate towards him because of the way he lived his life, with dignity and class. You couldn’t help falling in love with Ray.”

Feal spent several hours with Pfeifer in his hospice room eight days before he died. Pfeifer was asleep at first, but when he woke up, Feal ordered dinner for his friend.

“He had beef stew,” Feal related. “He ate the whole thing. He ate it quick and he ate it all. And then he had two peanut butter cookies.”

They talked until Pfeifer’s sister Noreen came into the room and then said their goodbyes.

There was one final thing that Feal would do for Pfeifer.

“I gave him Jon Stewart’s phone number,” Feal. “He wanted me to ask Jon to give the eulogy, and I said, ‘No, Ray, here’s Jon’s number. You call him. I want you to do it.’ The most important thing he said to me that day was, ‘Don’t wait to do the bucket list. Don’t wait until the end.’ ”

In addition to getting an extension of the Zadroga Act, other items on Pfeifer’s bucket list included laying a wreath at Arlington Cemetery (which he and wife Caryn did this past spring) and sponsoring a FDNY Family Transport van (used to carry family members at funerals and other events). Feal’s Foundation and the Pfeifer family sponsored a fundraiser at Mulcahy’s in Wantagh. Stewart made a special appearance at this event.

The flier stated: “The FDNY Family Transport has been a lifesaver for Ray and his family. It has been Ray’s vision to provide a handicapped accessible van to the organization that would benefit other families in need.”

But Feal, wanting to make sure that Pfeifer saw something tangible as his illness worsened, went ahead and bought the van before the fundraising effort had been completed.

“To see his face when he saw the van…it was like a kid opening a present on Christmas morning,” related Feal.

The 9/11 survivors advocate saw his friend go from walking with a limp, to walking with a cane, to finally needing a motorized wheelchair, donated to the Feal Good Foundation by a widow of a firefighter who had died from 9/11-related brain cancer.

The foundation was part of the lobbying efforts, and Feal said he, Stewart, Pfeifer and their cohorts walked countless miles as they pounded the halls of Congress.

“And there was Ray asking, ‘What do you want me to do, John? Where do you want me to go?’ ” Feal said.

Pfeifer told his friend he was ready to face death, though he had put up a brave fight against the disease Feal labeled as “the devil.”

“He never complained. He never said, ‘Why me?’ He was always asking about someone else,” said Feal.

Feal got Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand to fly a flag over the capital the day after Pfeifer’s death. Then he had her office deliver it overnight so he could present it to the family.

“Ray didn’t invent patriotism, he perfected it,” Feal pronounced. “But I think it belittles Ray, because there’s not a word yet invented that best describes that man. He’s everything that’s great about this country, and everything that’s best about humanity.”

Asked what he thought Pfeifer’s legacy would be, Feal responded, “That he touched so many lives. Those who knew him? They were spoiled. And those who didn’t? They should be jealous, because they did not get to know him.”

Retired East Meadow Fire Department firefighter Ray Pfeifer, who passed away on May 28 from 9/11-related cancer, left an enduring legacy behind. The Hicksville man spent his last days at a Port Washington hospice. Jon Stewart gave his eulogy at Holy Family Church on June 2. In one of his last phone calls from the Port Washington hospice where he lived out his final days, Ray Pfeifer of Hicksville dialed Jon Stewart’s cell phone.

RE: Gender roles in the new economy

I had many thoughts on the New York Time Magazine 9/3/12 article on changing gender roles in the new economy.  Here are my two cents from a Roman Catholic female civil engineer from SD who had Edith Bunker from All in the Family as a hero growing up.  Agree or disagree, I think the pastor in the article could get at least a half dozen sermons from this letter.

These role reversals are not as new to the economy as you seem to think.  The beginnings of feminism started in the "wild west" of the gold rush days when women were the legal property of their husbands.  The 'ADD' husbands would pack up families to strike it rich in the west and it was often up to the women to make things work. (RE Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman)  It seems that more than one male pioneer was surprised that manna did not fall from heaven.  Men would travel miles to buy a loaf of bread "baked by a woman" at $5 a loaf.  It was the western states that first gave women the right to vote for these reasons.  (The fact that the Wyoming bill granting women the right to vote was 'lost' between the legislature and the Governor's office is another story altogether.)

On the husband who told his wife to either drop out of college or he would not marry her.  I'm glad that it worked out for them, but I would advise any young woman told the same thing today that she would be much better off dropping the boyfriend.  Partners who try to emotionally blackmail their significant others in that manner are often abusive.

My ex-husband had a Masters degree in education, yet never did get around to getting a teaching position.  I was always the sole source of income for both my children from before they were born.  He was the one who stayed home with the children full time.  As long as he was providing for his children in that manner, I did not mind 'differing' to him.  It was when he stopped to 'open a hobby' store that produced negative income, caused our children to be neglected, and left me with two full time jobs, that I reduced my work load in half and my stress level by 3/4 by moving out and becoming a single parent.  Unable to care for himself, he was dead within three years.

(I found Father's sermon on God drop kicking you out of your complacency and periodically providing 'excitement' in your life non-applicable.  My two year old daughter spent the service trying to scale the holy water fount, while I was worried about my ex going postal or giving me a custody battle and my new job.  I told Father I had more than enough excitement in my life, thank you very much.)

I asked my current husband who he thought was head of our household.  He said that he didn't think that applied to our family.  He thinks we defer to each other based on who has the better skills in the area under question.  That was also often the case when he was aboard ship in the navy. A single person in charge structure is really not as common as thought either in human or animal societies.  It seems more a 'male ego' fairy tale than reality.  Herd societies are more often democratic.  The herd heads to water when the majority of the herd gets thirsty, often leaving the head stallion wondering where everyone went.  I remember driving cattle from one pasture to another while growing up on a farm.  The bulls would stand in the gate, blocking the cows from going from their territory to another bulls.  We had to bring the dog to help drive.  The cows were not about to defer to the bulls when that 'wolf' thing' was barking at them and pushed the bulls aside.  Once past the gate, the cows led the way back to the home pasture.  Primate groups normally have a titular alpha male, as long as he puts the welfare of the group above his own.  A bully is only tolerated for a short time before the rest of the group gangs up on him and beats sense into him.  Another alpha male is then chosen.  

In human society, archeologists have determined that early societies gave equal status to both men and women until men figured out they had a part to play in the reproductive process.  Then they decided they were better than the women.  The leadership classes I have taken show that the big executive top down structure is not the best.  The best is usually someone coming up from the ranks who rely on the expertise of the entire group.  This is often a more 'feminine' group structure. (I found out that my employers were often paying large fees for information that most people could get for free by going to church if they bother to pay attention.)

It is more comforting to have the paternalistic employer in a company town.  Human history is full of the divine king who can magically take care of his people.  It is often frightening to think of the ruler as just another human being and democracy is a great deal more work.  You can find religious parallels with the Protestant Reformation and the declining percentage of people who believe in God.  Many 'believers' miss the point that religion isn't a magic formula to wealth.  I am sorry to say that my faith is more Jeffersonian in that I recognize that religion is often a 'magic feather' that allows those that can fly by themselves the illusion of a safety net.  I also recognize that religious faith often does result in material wealth, as even the Communist Chinese acknowledged, not because that God rewards you for your belief, but that the basic tenant of at least Christianity and most of the other major religions stress that to look to the welfare of your neighbor above that of yourself is holy.  This stability benefits all and allows for wealth to accumulate.  Sin does not hurt me.  All of the Ten Commandments are harm to your neighbor. If I have the time scales right, Buddhism was the first 'religion' (It has no deity and is therefore more a philosophy.) to result in a massive population jump.  I don't think we can count the animal sacrifices leading to the discovery of soap and that subsequent population jump as religious.  Note that both must be properly applied to work.

The true believers also need to recognize that faith is a gift from God and that agnostics and atheists aren't evil people thumbing their noses at God.  I think most agnostics and atheists would be the first to agree that they would be happier if they could believe in God.  (See last week's New York Times Magazine's Article on the Agnostics.) You will not be effective missionaries if you don't recognize that and scream at them for their 'wrong doing.'  (I find religious debates with Jehovah Witness entertaining, they so seldom think through their beliefs.  My husband entertains himself by harassing telemarketers.  My daughter entertains herself harassing televangelists.  "The Bible says …"  "No, it doesn't."  "You READ the Bible?!"  Yes.  Unfortunately, I am pretty sure she doesn't believe in God. )

I can relate to the English teacher in the article re-reading the Bible with new interpretations.  I cannot understand the Protestant horror of the annotated Catholic Bible.  A lot of the meaning in the politically driven (and most beautiful) King James translation is lost without the translators' notes.  I am frightened by what I see as Biblical interpretations by the functionally illiterate.  Some of the most bizarre are that the Bible says that men have two less ribs than women.  No, it doesn't.  The Bible is not Rudyard Kipling's "Just So Stories."  The Bible says that God removed ONE rib from ONE man ONCE.  For all men to be short two ribs is NOT how the world works or a lot a Jewish and Muslim men would be jumping for joy at not having to be circumcised.  My father would have been pleased not to have to dehorn cattle every year either.

The movie, Master and Commander, the Far Side of the World is another example.  To the sailor's, the book of Jonah is all about bad luck and God punishing Jonah and sinners.  It is not.  Jonah was singing for joy at being safely in the belly of the whale and given a second chance after disobeying a direct order and doing the opposite of what God wanted.  It is also about God's forgiveness.  It is mankind that is unforgiving in the story. The story is funny and my 16 year old daughter loves to have me read it to her and laugh her head off.  The officer in question was a Jonah, not because of his bringing the crew bad luck, but in his sacrificing himself for what he thought was the good of the ship.  The Captain's eulogy at his funeral was straight from the ending of Job.

The husband at the gate mentioned in the article, is NOT goofing off with his friends.  The elders at the gate are the JUDGES and witnesses (notaries), see the book of Ruth.  Note that is a group, not one magic individual dispensing wisdom and justice, though they are probably too old for hard physical work.  I think the book of Judges has women as well as men as judges.  With death in child birth, I think that women were not as statistically likely to live to be old enough to be judges.

This passage is also about men wise enough to be judges being wise enough to pick good wives.  In that regard, it is the wisdom of the wife conferring status on her husband.  Not once is the physical beauty of the wife praised.

It is a big difference in stay at home mothers who stay home for the 'silk pillows' of one the first feminist detractors, so they can goof off, get their hair done and let their husbands do all the work and the farm wives who are equal business partners with their husbands, the PTA presidents, volunteers, artisans, church pastors, and community leaders, etc.

The incidence of domestic violence usually goes up during economic downturns as men try to 'prove they are men' by beating up their wives.  The real men are those who put themselves at risk to protect their wives and children.  I would ask the mother who wants her daughter to find a boyfriend and settle down in order to get protection, who it is that she thinks her daughter needs protection from?  No doubt it would be irresponsible men.  The New York Times recently did an article on the economic and emotional benefits of two parent versus one person households.  A crucial factor was the number of "marriageable" men; i.e. those who would be responsible for their offspring.  I would like to know how many of the young men her daughter knows who are happy to spend their twenties hanging with their friends in the parking lots she considers marriageable.  If Mom is worried about the physical safety of her daughter she would be better off enrolling her daughter in a self defense and/or gun class than trusting to the maturity/mental stability of a random young man.

(The gun class may not even be necessary.  I heard of one study that determined an enraged woman with no firearms training can put 6 shots in a six inch diameter area at 20 paces.  The marines in the South Pacific during WWII trained both men and women to defend their islands from the Japanese.  The men, male dominance mode, broke and ran.  The women, protect my children mode' held, fought, and won.  The alpha gorilla or chimpanzee does not even think of messing with the mothers or using the juveniles as shields in dominance battles.  The females will drive them out of the group.)

Note to all you he men, taking care of a family is not limited to taking up arms or bringing home a paycheck.  Sometimes taking care of a family is Hank from King of the Hill or Tommy Lee Jones in Man of the House going down the dreaded "Aisle 13" in the grocery store to take care of a teen age girl having her first period or shopping for a group of co-eds who can't leave their witness protection house.  Or "Major Dad" learning how to do a mean French Braid or Archie Bunker buying a Star of David for his orphaned Jewish niece.  The feminists could have a field day with two adult males being needed to replace one dead mother in Full House.  It could also be Franc filling in for Steve Martin in "Father of the Bride Part 2" doing prenatal aerobics.  It was the father though who stayed with both during the time of delivery.  (Ladies, if you go by James Herriot of All Creatures fame, it is a smaller percentage of men who can handle this.  You may be better off with a less squeamish substitute, traditionally more often female.)

One study of what women really want showed that; forget the washboard abs, handsome face, huge arms or other physical attributes, showed that women pick the men who are best with children.  The study showed they are right the majority of the time.

How much of the angst the men in the article were going through related to the stress on their families and how much what the other men would think of them if they moved into feminine positions?  Men often seem more concerned with their ranking among their male peers and their social status than their family status. The serial killer in most criminal shows is often the middle aged white male with the sense of wounded entitlement.  The best parable I have seen is the book, "Who Moved My Cheese?" It was enjoyed by both my children and my mother recovering from a broken hip in the nursing home. I have seen more men who are Hems and Haws than women. They more often concentrate on what they are losing rather than looking for new opportunities.  Maybe it is just that they more often have more to lose.  I think I am less likely to look for a position paying less than I make now than my husband is who has always made less than I have in the time that I have known him. I think we should all consider how this relates to the new global economy.

It could be similar to the statement about the women in the town shutting the men out of the last paying positions.  At the last Women in Business luncheon I went to, only one other woman at the table wasn't in a banking position.  So much for women not being good in math.  I can also see the women preferring not to have to deal with the male ego at work.  My college agricultural engineering classes and the last ASABE magazine issue I last read dealt with the need to design around the male ego when working for the Peace Corp.  A fully automated system will be confiscated by the men, leaving the women to starve.  Manually steps must be left in place in order to provide a means of survival for widows and single mothers.

Even in the 50's though, my cousin the nurse, said that male nurses were preferred by the patients on the prostate ward.

Women moving to the cities is a nationwide trend as they look for more opportunity.  It is the rural areas in which single men outnumber the single women.