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smilingperformer · 5 years

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Eeeeeeh I’ll have to wait for tomorrow when subtitles drop for SM134. The dialogue is so advanced, I have no idea what the most interesting bits are saying.

But damn, Guzma is an antagonist in a way that he’s not in the league to have fun, but he’s out there to destroy the competitors and..... I kinda got the vibe that he feels the need to prove himself the strongest, from this scene alone:

Like, a little after he’s got Ashirene beaten up real bad with constant poisonings and such, he looks at Kukui and I think he’s sort of asking him ‘did you see that, Kukui?‘. Like, he wants Kukui to acknowledge his strenght here. But then, Kukui’s action seems to throw him off.

Kukui first glances at Guzma, but then changes his view to Suiren instead, as if to ignore him. And the face Guzma has after this is like...

How should I read this face? It kinda looks like he didn’t expect that reaction from him as is in mild shock?

And when Ashirene gets up? Oh now I get it, Guzma thought he had KO’d Ashirene already, but Kukui knew it’s not over, and that’s why he’s in mild shock. He thought he had finished his student already. Ooooooh I like this!

He even kicks the ground the moment he realises he hasn’t KO’d Ashirene yet. Oh boi Guzma is so good in Pokeani! He even gives off this kind of face when Ashirene manages to nullify his Gusokumusha/Golisopod’s Pin Missile attack with Surf.

He didn’t expect that. :D He also kinda shows anger and impatience when the match isn’t over as fast as he thought it’d be, shouting at his Golisopod during some points of their match as well. Oh boi he got anger issues.

Also, his Golisopod is badass, cutting Ashirene’s signature Z-move in half.

With Liquidation move. Holy cow. And Suiren’s face tells it all, she wasn’t expecting that, and she was so shocked by it she didn’t have to command Ashirene at all.

She’s just standing there..... I was hoping for more, but at least she’s shown to be in a shock stance, and she does sound like it too.

What feels very unleague-like, is that Guzma is announced the winner of the round, but no one is cheering! The whole audience is silent. Then Skull Gang breaks the silence but you get my gist. This is why Guzma is a villain. He’s not there to have a good time. He’s there to make the league’s atmosphere the absolute worst. And if he won the league, that would mean the end of the Alola League. Forever. Because letting a un-sporty person win the league wouldn’t feel very sporty, now would it?

Y’know what intriques me about Suiren’s dialogue afterwards thou? She seems calm and all but.... she seems to also acknowledge that despite Guzma’s tactics being brute, cruel and ruthless, he’s not breaking any rules? Mao and Lilie seemed to accuse him of it but, Suiren and Kaki say otherwise? (I actually just got a confirm on this being the actual dialogue on twitter. Glad to have understood it.) Suiren also acknowledged Guzma as a stronger trainer than her, that’s... actually really mature of her. She’s fine with the loss, because she knows she did her best. Y’know... that’s actually what we should expect from her, since she is sorta similar to Satoshi in that regard. Seeing the actual loss scene again, she did show shock in losing the battle. And her voice said so as well. I think the main problem I had with her loss scene was that her face didn’t say it enough.

ANYWHO, some thoughts on their battle. I enjoyed it a ton, as I expected to. I was terrified, due to Golisopod’s gruesome tactics (and being a bugfobic so a bug-type doing something so gruesome just doesn’t help it lol), but I’m also real impressed with the level of strategies Guzma and Golisopod are using. It.... reminds me of both Satoshi and Shinji. Heh. Also impressed with the level of strats Suiren used with Ashirene.

So, what’s up next? Kaki vs Gladion, so the theme there is big brothers. Then Guzma vs Satoshi, theme revolving around the Alola League’s future. I have no doubt in my mind, that Satoshi will beat the crap out of him. Mao did tell Satoshi to revenge Suiren’s loss. :D

#aleira watches sumo #pokemon #pokeani #pokemon sumo #mythical arc #alola league arc #sm134 #discussions #lana #suiren #guzma #team skull #skull gang #golisopod #gusokumusha #ashirene #primarina #kukui #long post

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myname-isnia · 3 months

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I’ve been so completely out of it all day bc of last night’s revelation, it’s literally been the only thing I could think about, and the deeper I get in analysing my life experiences the more realisations I come to, and each one feels more horrific than the last.

Not horrific as in terrible, but as in it feels like whatever remains of my sense of self is completely falling apart. I thought I was bi for so long, didn’t even spend a single second questioning it. Never did I even think that I may be wrong, it seemingly made too much sense for me to be wrong. But the sense it made was the fact I was attracted to both male and female characters in animated shows, not real people.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a crush on a real person before. Not on someone I knew irl, nor on some actor/celebrity, nor on someone I saw on tiktok or wherever. And it’s like, I can acknowledge someone is attractive, even that someone is beautiful or hot, but it’s never personal when I do. Pretty girls I see don’t linger in my mind at all. I can’t picture myself dating them or getting intimate or kissing them or anything. It’s a purely aesthetic attraction with no feelings behind it. With animated/drawn characters it’s different, I can actually feel all the physical side-effects of looking at someone you’re romantically attracted to. But when the scale of a drawing slides too far towards realism, like with museum paintings or even that one Suiren portrait I drew once, the attraction fades again. I’m just not and have never been attracted to real people.

At my old school the topic of which celebrities you found hot came up often and I never knew what to say. Naming the ones I knew were conventionally beautiful but I wasn’t personally attracted to felt like lying, so eventually I started naming people my mom found hot. She’d tell me which actors she had a crush on when we watched movies or shows together and I pretended to see her point. After a while I managed to convince myself that it wasn’t pretending and that I really agreed with her. I realise now it all boiled down to purely aesthetic attraction again, I had no genuine interest in them. And one could assume it was just my preference for women showing, but female celebrities faced the exact same treatment from me.

I started reevaluating a lot of sexuality-related feelings and life moments. My dad’s SIL often laments how I’m 17 and don’t have a boyfriend yet, and when I say I don’t want one she goes “Why? It’s not like you have to sleep with him, wouldn’t it be nice to be gifted flowers and taken on dates and the like?” I usually just shrug but my internal answer was always a resounding no. I once again thought I just liked girls more, but when I actually thought about what if dad’s SIL wasn’t homophobic and posed the question in a sapphic way, I realised that my answer wouldn’t change. I don’t want a partner of any gender or to be taken out on dates or anything like that.

It was here that things really started to go downhill for me last night bc then, once I realised I didn’t want a girlfriend, I turned my attention to the more sexual side of things. It’s possible to be aromantic and allosexual, right? But I’ve known for a while that a lot of sex-related things are a very big ick for me, penetration of any kind being on top of the list. Forget dicks and toys, I don’t want fingers or tongues inside me either, not have I ever used a tampon. But not everyone likes penetration, that’s fine, there are other things. But the thought of someone lavishing my tits with affection just makes me way too hyper aware of them which triggers my dysphoria, and I’ve always found kissing to be extremely gross, and… pretty much every sexual act I can think of causes some kind of rejection in me. Fantasies are fine, fics/writing are fine, even watching porn is fine for the most part (even then, I can only get off to it if I imagine 2d characters in place of the people), but the second I think of something actually being done to me? It makes my toes curl in a very much bad way.

I’m by no means a completely non-sexual being, quite the opposite actually. I’m horny a lot of the time and it’s completely normal for me to get off at least once almost every day, but again, it’s all only in fantasies (which never feature me, only characters). I’m so averse to the idea of fucking or being fucked that I don’t even touch myself, ever. I accidentally discovered that rubbing my thighs together in a specific way feels good when I was younger and have just been doing that ever since. I’ve tried using my hands but it’s just not pleasurable in any way. I really don’t want anything or anyone touching me, ever, at all. And it’s so weird to realise because it seems natural for someone with as high of a libido as mine to want to be fucked, right? But the mere thought disgusts me and causes insane anxiety to overtake my entire body, and idk if there’s a clearer way for my mind to tell me that no, you don’t want any of that, trust me.

That’s another thing. Maybe I’m just scared. I have debilitating anxiety, I’m terrified of literally everything, of course that, added to my body image issues and complete inexperience in all manners romantic or sexual, would result in these types of feelings. Maybe I just haven’t met the right person yet who will awaken my attraction to real people and cause me to want a partner and romance and sex and whatever else. Maybe I’ve convinced myself that I’m too much of a mess for anyone to love me so it’s better to label myself as aroace before I get my heart broken. I don’t know. But writing it off on all that doesn’t feel right, and while I’m not exactly the best judge of my own feelings, my gut is telling me that I’m wrong. It’s not anxiety and inexperience, it’s my very real borderline aromantic and asexual feelings finally being acknowledged.

I think back on my life. I thought I had serious crushes before, I even had a girlfriend for a few months, but that was all initiated by someone else. The other person showed interest first and I thought “Okay, they’re pretty enough, maybe I can do this, maybe I just need to get into it and the feelings will come later”. Nothing ever went anywhere beyond hand holding or brief hugs, and I was okay with that. I enjoyed spending time with them and lit up whenever they showed up and thought that’s what loving someone felt like. But now that I have real friends that I’m 100% sure I’m not attracted to, I realised I feel the exact same way towards them. I just like being with people who want to spend time with me and who I share common interests with, and I like being paid attention to. Nothing romantic to it. When it comes to my good friends I always had a position of “Well I don’t find them particularly attractive but if they were romantically interested in me then I’d go for it” and thought that was a crush. It’s no wonder anything vaguely romantic in my life ended before it could properly start. Really hard to be in love with or build a relationship with someone who clearly doesn’t feel romantically interested in you, even if they’re trying very hard to be.

And that’s the center of the whole issue. There’s nothing wrong with being aroace, nor with being wrong about the label you chose when you were 12. What makes be sob for hours is this feeling as if a knife was driven through my heart. All these years I’ve been subconsciously lying to myself and I didn’t even know. I can’t blame myself for that, I’m aware, I had no way of realising I was wrong because I never had any experience. But the pain and confusion and sense of being lost are still there, beyond all rationalisation. And all those times I said I wanted to be railed by a pretty girl and other similar things to that? Also not true. I said those things because it felt like what a horny queer girl should say. It wasn’t a conscious lie, I really believed it when I said it, it never even registered as false until now. Until I dug deep inside myself and realised I don’t want to be railed by anyone in any way ever. For the longest time I genuinely thought I wanted what’s normal for queer allosexual women to want. It’s hard coming to terms with that I really, really don’t. I’ll definitely need some time to process everything properly,

Honestly, this revelation isn’t too surprising, all things considered. I once had a conversation with someone who talked about those younger years of every queer girl, staring at other girls in the changing rooms, wanting to date them, wanting to be a boy so it’d be possible before they knew gay people existed and becoming sneakier with their glances after they found out. And I really couldn’t relate to that. I’ve never felt attracted enough to someone to experience any of that. Back then I thought I couldn’t relate bc I never had a sexuality crisis nor did I hide my sexuality from the other girls in my class, almost all of whom were queer too. Turns out I just genuinely don’t experience attraction like that. Or at least I think I don’t. I don’t know. Now that I’ve got most of my thoughts regarding all this on ‘paper’, hopefully I’ll have a clearer mind and can come to a more concrete conclusion. And for now… let’s just put me very firmly in the ‘questioning’ box.

#maybe I am wrong. maybe it is my inexperience talking for me and once I lose my virginity I’ll realise it feels good and start wanting it #but that most likely won’t happen anytime soon. if ever #that’s another point. in any other circumstance there would be no rush to figure it out #I could make it to college or whatever and maybe try dating around a little to see if it really does cause such an aversion in me #but I don’t have that time guaranteed #I don’t know how long I could go on for. I don’t know if I’ll even reach my 18th birthday #what if I lose myself in my darkest thoughts and snap. give up. end it all #wouldn’t really matter what I identify as then. would it #but I’m trying hard not to think about that #just… if I were to go. I’d prefer to do it with at least some certainty gained in life #out of all possible things. sexuality feels like the most realistic one #I’d like to know that about myself #but that’s all hypothetical. I’m not planning anything. I’m too much of a coward to even be capable of it #for now. at least #and currently I just… feel so weird about all this #and how could I not? it’s like I said. my entire sense of self is falling apart #I’m pulled in so many different directions. am I aroace or just scared or traumatised??#does it even matter? should it matter? why do I care so much?#the cognitive dissonance between saying I would consider immigrating to be railed by a hot girl #and then realising I don’t want to be railed at all withing like. an hour of each other #is driving me absolutely mad #who even am I anymore #I still enjoy reading smut. nothing’s changed. I’ve just became acutely aware that idk what any of what’s described would feel like #nor do I really want to find out #and all of the kinks I’ve labelled as mine are actually just things I like reading about. not what I want to experience #god.. I almost wish I never stared thinking about this. life is hard enough already #I don’t want to feel like I’ve been lying to myself for the last five years even if it wasn’t intentional #I don’t want to have to reassess my entire being #I was comfortable and confident in calling myself bi. but after today and last night that label just doesn’t fit anymore #I just feel so lost… fuck. I spent 2 hours typing all this out. I need a nap. and perhaps a long cry too

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smilingperformer · 6 years

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SM082 - Thoughts, shorter ver!

Because it’s way too hot to write full-on thoughts but I really want to talk about two events of the episode specifically: Amamaiko’s journey to Amajo and our beloved Rocket Gang! Let’s get started with newest episode:

Won’t You Give Us a Dance Dance Evolution?

When we first saw previews, the episode seemed to not really focus on one character, but throughout the episode, it was clear Mao and Amamaiko were the focus of the day. The theme being PokeDance, the episode consisted of fun scenes with different kinds of PokeDances (and with Satoshi not understanding the concept of Dance... hey, he never did, even if he tried doing it in XY, it makes sense he did what he did!), one being Alola Hula, which is pretty much Pokemon version of Hula Hula Dance! The Old Lady from the Market is finally named as Moani, as Mao and Amamaiko are apparently regular customers at her stop.

But the two sure get inspired by the dance, as they are now practising it for the little Competition at Pokemon School! Even Mao’s Papa lets her off from work early to practice for the dance. Alola Hula seems so fitting for Amamaiko. Shame they can’t showcase their dance in the end, thou Amamaiko being so tranced with the dance sure helped them out of Rocket Gang’s latest scheme! Speaking of Rocket Gang!

They heard Mao and Moani talking about the PokeDance competition while selling Malasada Donuts, and thus started planning on kidnapping all of the Pokemon at Pokemon School. All because Musashi wanted Back Dancers for her show, Kojiro and Nyarth agreeing! First time they do a scheme on School land. I sure hope Kukui does some preparations to improve security. But their scheme, ah!

Their scenes were so lovely to watch, it’s also fitting for Musashi to be so entranced with dancing, considering her career as Performer Musavie! She danced a lot during her Kalos journey!

I want to quickly mentioned how I loved Suiren’s PokeDance performance, and I think she’d do great in Contests/Showcases! Maybe a lil foreshadowing. Or maybe I’m overreading. Tehee.

Back to Rocket Gang thou! Ohmygod I never thought I’d be so happy to see their old days of crossdressing return! I now realise I truly missed it!

Kojiro looks absolutely stunning and Musashi looks absolutely amazing in her suit! I keep thinking about Smooth Criminal when seeing her in that outfit and just... ah. Nyarth’s outfit is a reference to some japanese puppet play of sorts, apparently. Saw it linked on twitter.

Their scheme was kind of a typical one, but considering Satoshi hadn’t been trapped liked that since well, long time ago (I think XY had similar ‘Pokemon here and Trainers there’ scheme but I don’t remember clearly), I don’t blame him for not remembering about such occurance. Amamaiko being in a Alola Hula trance of kind thou, she didn’t listen to their instructions and is actually free! So she’s their only hope! Sort of similar to SM018 where Amamaiko evolved from Amakaji! This time Amamaiko is a threat to the plan thou, when last time they didn’t think Amakaji could do anything, until it evolved and double slapped the hell out of them lol.

Some may find it lazy, but it’s sort of a nice touch to make Amamaiko’s evolution episodes have similarities with each other, with added scenarios like Amamaiko’s actually being capable of doing something. Althou, it seems like they prepared for a flaw in their flawless plan (8D), and welp.

Amamaiko gets trapped in Basketball net. Which by the way... was very poorly animated? It literarily had three frames when coming down from ceiling like they usually do. Wonder if this episode’s animation production somehow had trouble? Because some scenes were gourgeus, but this bothered the hell out of me.

But y’know, Rocket Gang obviously thinks Amamaiko’s no longer a threat with her slapper hair trapped. But her legs are still free. :)))) Nyarth, you done goofed. Even more when he tells them exactly how to break the cages. I think he’s been too used to saying his thoughts out loud lol.

Mao and Lilie take action right away, Nyarth trying to fix his mess-up by catching Amamaiko before reaching the top of the cage. Considering Amamaiko cannot use any of her moves atm (her moves involve hands and her hair pretty much!), Lilie helping her out by causing Nyarth slip with Shiron’s Powder Snow was good thinking.

But oh boy, the scene we’ve been waiting for! Since Amamaiko only has her legs free, she’s using them to break the cage! And each time she’s kicking, she’s actually learning Stomp, confirmed by Kukui! You guys know what that means!

HERE WE GO!!!!

OH!

MY!

GOSH!

This whole sequence! ;____;

I told you guys Amajo is happening the moment we had the title Dance Dance Evolution! This was the very first evolution episode I watched without being spoiled, only having speculated of her happening, being super anxious, and then crying out of happiness when it happened ;v; And this is most definitely my favourite evolution sequence in Pokeani up to date! Why? Because it actually shows what’s being changed when evolving, and in what way. It’s not just blue aura changing form. This is something that is extreme norm for Digimon and love it a lot there, and I think I like this evolution scene even more! Sure, quite Magical Girl inspired, but I don’t mind one bit!

I do hate how my mind keeps thinking Waifumon because of watching Vinesauce Vinny’s Pokemon Moon playthrough. God damn it.

Anyway, I love Amajo’s design, and her voice changed exactly how I pictured it to be! And I freaking love how Nyarth is self-aware of the fact that once again, Mao’s partner evolved under their watch, and is gonna screw them up! And oh boy. Amajo’s legs are strong!

Also freaking love how Kojiro says that Amamaiko evolved into a Queen Pokemon! That is beautiful! Oh! I just realised Amajo means Queen of Fruit! Niiiice that explains the Berry Tiara!

Let’s try to end this post thou: Amajo Trop Kicks Nyarth into the other Basketball net in the room, and breaks the cages, letting everyone free! While it looks like there’s gonna be a Alola Squad VS Rocket Gang battle, Kiteruguma comes and grabs the naughty kids back home :)))

Episode finishes with an upgraded MokuShot combo ending up being Amajo’s PokeDance performance, and considering how strong her legs are now, it’s a nice showcase of how much more powerful MokuShot is now as well! Just look what it did to Satoshi:

Cracks on the floor..... someone needs to renovate the place. That was one powerful MokuShot.

End of the episode! Erm. Amajo caused me to talk for a bit long apparently. I just really started adoring Amajo when I finally evolved my Amamaiko in Ultra Moon. She’s so badass!

The episode as a whole was a bit on the weaker side. While I truly enjoyed it, animation was lacking in some places compared to the quality we’ve had throughout the series. I can’t help but be bothered by it. I can definitely see the people who watch Pokemon for battles not enjoying this episode but eh. I’m not one of those. I watch for characters, and their interactions. And this episode did that to me!

But it was nice for Mao to debut the full Amakaji evolution line, and I’m extremely happy for her! Next step for her journey would be either getting Z-ring, or something happening with the Aina Cafeteria that could be devastating, or a step-back. I’m not sure. Catching another Pokemon is a possibility as well, thou I wouldn’t bet on it, considering the big cast of characters!

The episode as a whole kinda seems like it could work as a basis for future Contest/Showcase debut in Sun & Moon series. This is definitely me being wishful, but considering how they introduced Gyms, it’d be approriate for Kukui to arrange an introduction to Contests at least!

When it comes to next one to evolve.... Ashimari? Mokuroh? Those are my two guesses!

Pokeproblem post-segment shows Amajo looking sad with her apron being too small now, to which Mao respondes by promising to fix it to fit her again. It’s a nice nice scene <3

Next week, Sauboh is back, and accidentally minimizes Satoshi, Lilie and Mamane, who end up going on an adventure outside the School Yard with giant-sized Pokemon around them! And apparently Sauboh trying to capture them in a clear pokeball as well!

Also with a return of Ganbalilie hairstyle, with Lilie’s usual outfit! That is wonderful combo! Also...

I can imagine this Persian being the same one from Nyabby’s episode, SM007! I could be wrong, but it would be a nice callback!

SM083 - Satoshi Minimizes

Looking so forward to this episode! Cya all next week!

#aleira watches sumo #pokemon #pokeani #pokemon sumo #ub arc #long post #'it's too hot to write #proceeds to write lots anyway #i'm hopeless #i loved this episode even with the flaws i wrote about ok?

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