Discord server 🦋

So I doodled the Mod Squad of the Carmeo/Promeo/Lies of P discord server Im a part of as "P" (Carlo, Pino und Rise of P "P") and it turned out too cute to not share it.

@xbraveheartx @dreamcatcher-ktm

Also if you wanna talk about the boys or the game in general- feel free to come on over!

Its super chill and fun- we share art, music and our writing and we tend to theorise about all kind of stuff (and bully a little the Gemini bot)...

We would be happy to see you there!

Quick doodle of a magazine pose I found on Pinterest because it's so JJBA

I thought I was gonna start staggering my Tumblr posts more but now I wanna share stuff xD I draw a ton and it's kinda embarrassing💀💀 eeek

This is extremely messy and the final product will be a ton better, but I figured I could share what messy brainstorm doodles look like too, considering I mostly post finished artwork.

So regarding what this is, pretty much I have this headcanon that Preacher Belos had a caravan to go from town to town (if he moved around a lot and already had grimwalkers I figured he’d need some kind of portable housing of some kind, even if he can most likely just teleport back to the man cave xD)

It’ll look a lot better when I’m finished because I’m still at the brainstorming stages, but I was thinking of including some elements of the EC logo but maybe it doesn’t look quite like the EC logo yet. I wanna keep the antlers on the front because it looks cool xD

I might also do my own design of a Snorse, since I love to headcanon Philip as a horse boy and this is the perfect opportunity to use that. But considering it had to pull that huge thing, maybe I’ll make it some kind of snow breed that’s a mix between a Buffalo type creature and a horse and a snake, I don’t know I haven’t decided yet xD

I’m also gonna design the inside eventually too.

So I was thinking about my oc Blueeye

I started working on her around 2016 and in August 2016 I made her very first ref sheet in MSPaint that I haven't uploaded anywhere so I think it's time to share it now

So this is her. Very simple.

And that's what I loved about her and still do. I just managed to give her very simple jet recognizable design

Some time later, I just changed her color shade a little bit but other than that I haven't change her design since then because I simply loved how she looked because she was "perfect" I even made a little doodle about it, just making fun of myself for keep redesigning all my other character while Blueeye was untouched XD

Her very sipmle design makes her very quick and fun to draw, I have tons of doodles with her, like all my sketchbooks from my school era have at least one doodle with her

But recently, I got an idea. How would she looked like if she had markings? The thing is I wanted to update her ref becaust it was already old so why not experiment a little bit right? Blueeye was partially inspired by Toothless from httyd and Toothles in the first movie had some rather cool markings so I made some variations just to see how it goes with her

and to be honest after that I wasn't really sure about the markings, like I'd like her to have some but these I made weren't what I'd like and I just didn't know what markings woud suit her so I thought if I don't manage to come up with some nice looking markings I'll just keep her the way she is because as I said, I like simple

And today I actually managed to come up with some nice looking markings and now I hate myself for that because I have dilemma XD

I like those markings but I still love Blueeye with no markings. So I guess that those markings will be optional, because they're not very visible anyway so yeah, compromise it is XD

So here it is

So Tumblr huh?

Sup nerds, I have no idea how this place works, but I'm happy to have yall. I'll be posting some of my old art on here soon, but ill also attempt to share more sketchy doodles and looser works. Even if twitter doesn't burn down, putting all my eggs in one basket isn't too smart if I'm trying to freelance professionally XD To those that haven't seen me around before and are taking a peep, hey! Welcome, I'm glad to have you. I draw my furry OCs, my fursona, and more, as well as developing my own stories! I hope you enjoy!! anyways I love you all, thanks a ton for your love and support, and ill cya arround!~ <3 <3 <3

Dfebruary Daily Doodle!

Day 1 (pretend it's yesterday 😅😅)

SO I DREW SORA’S MOM A LOT FOR NO GOTDAMN REASON AT ALL IDK I JUST WANTED TO SHUT UP OK 

So anyway some of you all might remember the design I came up with for Sora’s mom, Himari (of course I kinda had to invent both that name and her design seeing as how we’ll likely never see her in canon and if we do then I’m boutta look stupid as fuck for this but whatever). Some of you might also remember that little drabble I wrote a few weeks back bout a Keys to the Kingdom AU of a fucking AU in which Sora’s dad, Tsuki, survives Terranort’s attempt at killing him. Long story short in that AU is that Sora’s parents end up heavily involved in the events of KH1, KH2, and Keys as a result and I thought it would be cute/cool if in that AU, Himari traveled with the Trinity Trio for the events of KH2 because I’m a sap for some mother/son sweetness. We were talking about all this over on the Discord when I realized Himari would get to take part in all the cool world transformations in Keys and I was like “Welp I gotta draw the mom a ton” soooo here we are. 

With that long-winded explanation out of the way, lemme run through each of these beautiful ladies! Up top we have what would be her standard adventuring outfit for KH2, then ya got a good Lion Mom carrying her incredibly embarrassed cub who swears he’s too old to be babied like that but Himari does not care in the slightest ahaha, then you got a BEAUTIFUL Mermaid Mom who is 100% here for Musical Time in Atlantica (Himari would have a LOVELY singing voice, I imagine, she’s nowhere near as unfortunately tone deaf as Sora sort of is XD), and then a cute Cartoon Mom for Timeless River!

After that, we get ourselves a Hot Witch Mom for Halloween Town, as well as a bonus doodle of her hanging with an awfully familiar looking bat... hm... wonder who that could be...? ;3, followed by an adorable Elf Mom for Christmas Town. I didn’t feel like doing a Space Paranoids design because hhhhh who cares so instead I decided to do some fun Prom Shenanigans from the Castle of Dreams chapter of Keys. Himari looks absolutely lovely, thinks her son looks soooo cute in his little suit (she’s embarrassing him again but he allows it this time ahaha) and she gets to share a nice dance or two with her dashing husband. Anyway this fuckin description is way too long, hopefully you all enjoy these INCREDIBLY self indulgent drawings I did that are so stupidly niche like why did I waste two days on this oh well it was fun and I liked it so whatever bye

5 Things to Know About VR (Virtual Reality) Gaming

Several people I’ve talked to are wary of trying out VR. I asked them why, and decided to address the concerns that popped up the most!

1. I’m worried about falling over (like I’ve seen in videos of first time vr users).

Most games you can sit down and play!

A lot of games have a “sitting” mode that is just as playable as standing. Don’t think all of them you have to walk around playing (and you aren’t really supposed to stand your first time XD you gotta get your VR legs first. Not a rule, but a good tip! Most of those videos are done to get a comedic reaction for views and turn people off of VR~ but it isn’t like this at all.

2. I’m just a beginner in VR and some of the games I’ve seen available look overwhelming/scary!

There are a ton of first time VR games! I was surprised by this, but there are literally games that just teach you how to use your controllers (and your hands for those kind of systems) to interact with objects and get used to that before you jump into the big social or intense games. And there are a ton of options for other types of games these days! When I first started, I spent most my time looking at the cool video apps and apps that were more for watching a story around you than really interacting. You’d be surprised how immersive those still are!

3. I’m wary of playing with others right now/want stuff I can do on my own while I’m starting out.

I have a load of fun puzzle games I play solo! It isn’t all Beat Saber and VR Chat~ (though I love those too and both of those don’t have to be social experiences either!) there’s something for every type of gamer and also apps where you can just talk to people in interesting settings or watch movies/tv while u doodle with others or alone~ I have a lot of exploring games, one that reminds me of Zelda where I’m just some hero slaying monsters and saving villagers with my cool bird-god powers, or frantically cooking in a fairy tale world kitchen for some various monster patrons~ you could also spend hours just looking at all the immersive 360 videos/movies there are while you get used to having a head set ^^

4. I do wanna play the cool social games with people, but I’m not comfortable talking.

That’s totally fine! I played VR Chat silently for the longest time until I grew more confident/ comfortable~ sometimes you just live with other people and don’t wanna be too loud. People understand that and many don’t care/will accept that anyways. It’s easy and fun to figure out how to get across what you mean to people just with your hands and gestures. It’s a valid way to play!

5. I get motion sickness easily, so is there still stuff I can do?

Yes! A lot of the more intense games have loads of settings to help you not get dizzy. When you’re starting out, I do not recommend immediately jumping into the rollercoaster videos and games or the ones with a lot of movement. Those will turn people off vr very quickly if that’s your first experience with it. I do not recommend the scary games or ones about facing fears either. Stick to those games made for starting out and don’t stay in too long (no more than 60-90 minutes) at a time to avoid headaches! You’ll grow used to it over time. Look in the settings of games for motion sickness reduction options and remember there is no harm in sitting! Almost all games do not require you to physically walk or turn around at all- that’s what your controllers are for!

If you all have any other questions or concerns, I’d be happy to address them to the best of my ability! I’m no veteran at this, I’ve barely had VR for 10 months, but I like to share info I have. Feel free to add any other tips too! If you want, I can name some of the specific games I mentioned here!

Hi! I found out you were accepting more people into this group so I am interested in joining if that’s okay. I sometimes comment on your work on AO3 by the name FS_Uni if you recognize that. There’s a shit ton of doodles in my notebook that’s been screaming at me to share to the whole quietus world and I can’t argue with that XD My username is Rei#7837. I’m 18 by the way

Hello. Thanks for your message. Please message me directly from your actual Tumblr account here, not on Anonymous.

OFUHSDAJHGFSDJHGJSH THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAAA!!! I’m sorry I didn’t see this ask until now, I don’t know when you sent this XD 

I’m super flattered you wanna see my babies, thank you!!! I just get really nervous when it comes to sharing them. I haven’t had a whole lot of time to think about OC’s what with school and such, but here’s a doodle that I’ve had sitting in my files after listening to a shit ton of Daft Punk.

Doodles of the Week:

I know it's just tons of similar heads, they're fun to sketch and I like sharing them tho xD

🐻☕🙃🌈🙌🦋

Yeeee, thank you Anon!

🐻 Your go-to things to draw when you need comfort?

I’ll either draw a bunch of Pokemon or some other favorite fictional character of mine (mostly Ludwig and K. Rool XD).

☕ Do you do warmup sketches before drawing? (Bonus: do you have any to share?)

Technically yes. I draw a TON of sketches before I make some sketch that I’ll actually finish. Here’s an example from today:

🙃 Which is easier: faces facing left, right, or front view?

Facing left👍

🌈 Do you use more warm or cold colors?

I think I use more warm colors. Most of my stuff includes shades of red and yellow, soooo.

🙌 Draw a doodle with your non-dominant hand

Every time I draw with my right hand, a Ludwig suffers.

🦋 Do your drawings resemble you?

In real life, I try to look cute based on my style. I try to do the same for my drawings, so yeah I guess you could say that ^^;

Novel Prep Tag!

I was tagged by @indecentpause to do this, so thank you! I get a bit distracted yesterday watching a certain music video and looking for pictures, hence why it’s a little late~ :D

Rules: Answer the questions and then tag as many writers as there are questions answered (or as many as you can) to spread the positivity! Even if these questions are not explicitly brought up in the novel, they are still good to keep in mind when writing.

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

Three twentysomething year old insomniacs attend an informal late night support group to deal with their magical trauma, or maybe become gods? The wording is pretty unclear.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

I'm still not honestly sure. When I think about it, I always personally break it into Act 1, Act 2, Act 3 but I'm still not sure if those will be just acts with a single book or something more. o:

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Modern magic, mundane magic, runes and signals littered as graffiti in subways, redcap blood drives on the weekend in the park, friendships are rad, failure as a positive, that good old city night life, curling up in diner booths at 3am because why the heck not, found families and getting better

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater, definitely! I had this hazy vibe and the character for Icarus before reading those books but seeing how ...matter of fact and mundane magic was described in the books just clicked something in my head. I ended up tossing out the old half-plot it had, and by the end of month, I had this new one and much much happier with it. :D

Also, the Serenity Rose comic book series. I have a thing for near-god characters that still have really relatable issues and just want to live their mundane life. It's one of favorite ...tropes, I guess, and that series does it great. It also deals with growing past your trauma (working through your negativity, so to speak~) so, yeah! It's free online too and I'd highly recommend it. Fair warning though, second book is a fair bit bloody at times. 

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

I will always love this gif and the whole scene in MIKA’s Make You Happy video (the whole video really) but the playful vibes of dipshit friends is like, Icarus’s core to me. ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ )

Also, just... a lot of Hydrae’s art especially her old Teen Wolf fanart (like the bottom left picture). Fun fact! I first created the concepts of Oleander and Daed when I was watching the first season of Teen Wolf, so seems pretty fitting I still draw inspiration from one of my favorite artists from that time. Her DnD art is amazing too! :D

MAIN CHARACTER

6. Who is your protagonist?

Oleander Thistle is the main-main protagonist~.

7. Who is their closest ally?

While he dearly loves Kingcup and Thyme, his closest ally is Daed and he will always be. They're known each other the longest at this point and Daed does have Oleander's best interest at heart and can look out for him without overstepping his boundaries either.

8. Who is their enemy?

I want to say Lund because it's Lund. But he doesn't really feature in the story outside of mentions and flashbacks, so it's probably easiest to say shitty societal stigmas and shitty coping mechanisms on a whole?? 

9. What do they want more than anything?

Oleander ...wants to know more about himself and his past especially how he survived losing his heart back when he was like six. He has some theories that make sense, but he's lacking some good hard facts about that. Not knowing actually causes him a fair amount of internal conflict that he can’t seem to rationalize away like he can with most other things.

10. Why can’t they have it?

The easiest to swallow answer is he simply lacks any way of knowing or finding out. Both of his parents are gone and Lund wouldn't know so unless someone has a time machine, his hands are pretty much tied.

The harder one is that Oleander is honestly terrified of finding out that he's not who or even what he thinks he is, so he doesn't try and lets his fears fester inside of him. Like, what even is he? Who can honestly survive having their heart ripped out of their chest still beating and live on without it being much of an issue? It's fucking weird. One of the ideas that refuses to leave him alone is that he's nothing more than a confused spirit possessing the corpse of a dead six year old, and what if that's true? He spent years trying to get his life back. What was all that for if he's even not himself?

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

That he's not him, but that's less wrongly believed and more his worst fear, you know?? Wrongly believed is honestly more Kingcup and Thyme's areas, and that's part of why they like Oleander. The kid is pretty matter of fact and reasonable with his opinions especially about himself (or so it seems on the outside, and even then it’s the what ifs that drag him down). He's like their unflappable little rock! :D

Until, of course, he isn't. :’D

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

I really love doodling Olly so thank you. ^o^! Fun fact, his natural hair is like a dark auburn brown. His original plan was to screw around with his hair for funsies for a bit while he was traveling with Daed, only for someone to tell him blonde was a really bad look for him one day in a grocery store. He’s spitefully kept it blonde ever since because fuck you too, lady.

PLOT POINTS

13. What is the internal conflict?

Outside of his ‘what am I’ conundrum which is his main internal conflict, he’s also figuring out how to better navigate the bitter raging sea of anger inside of him. He may want to know more about himself, but that doesn’t mean he’s completely a-okay with the years he spent under Lund’s control. The trauma is still real.

14. What is the external conflict?

They've all been burned and traumatized by magic, and instead of doing the more rational approach to healing like talk to a therapist, they ...do other things that are less helpful. There's also a massive social stigma to having been burned by magic so it's not like they actually have a lot of options at hand. :/ Starting Icarus is actually helpful in that regard because at the minimum, it builds a nice little support system.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Oleander is screaming the worst already happened, what could be worse than his past?! But off the top of my head, losing his heart again would been such a devastation to him. Or, just giving up completely.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

That's a good question. o:

17. Do you know how it ends?

There's plenty of bits and pieces that I know happen, but it's not absolute yet.

BITS AND BOBS

18. What is the theme?

Mistakes don’t have to define you. Recovery isn't a straight line, but it's possible. Found families are neat.

19. What is a reoccurring symbol?

We will see. I’m sure they’ll pop up at times. xD

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description)

Most of the story takes places in a small port city named Dead Leaves. Less of it takes place in the Inbetween and The Romneya Backwoods too, but Dead Leaves is the main spot. Like I said, it's smaller city but still thriving and lively. The Icarus verse has a slight solarpunky vibe to it so despite the name, it's very green with lots of parks and trees and plants. It's common to see ivy climbing up old buildings and rooftops to have their own little gardens. There's plenty to do with an ton of shops and venues and museums and old historical spots too. Its home to the ever famous Clove Archives that's a massive tourist spot for all to visit, and because of that, there's a few universities and colleges within the city too.

I definitely write it with Boston in mind too, so yes~ c:

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

I'm a super visual person so, oh god yes! Do I ever! So many scenes! One of my favorites involves Kingcup punching a wall and Oleander throwing up a wall. :D

22. What excited you about this story?

I just really like these characters, this concepts and the story I have so far. It honestly feels me with joy when I doodle and write about them and it's one of the first stories I've worked on that doesn’t really ever frustrate me either. I also just want to write a story about queer kids finding friendships, falling in love, dealing with the shit and learning from the lesser mistakes you make in your youth. Failure isn’t a death sentence, you know?

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

I beat my ADHD down every so often and just write write write until it regains its strength? o: I’m gonna look into seeing a specialist this year to learn a better way because it doesn’t work well enough anymore. :l

Tagging: Mhmm. It said lots of people so @elliot-orion @loopyhoopydrabbles @mirror-of-too-many-books If y’all don’t want too, that’s totally cool too! :D And anyone else who would like to do it, please do it! I loved to see it! <3

Could I get Shinsou headcanons for an s/o with pathokinesis? (The ability to sense and manipulate other people's emotions) like, they're kind of ashamed of their quirk because of what it could be used to do. I just kinda figured they're both picked on because of their stuff and I wanted to see your take on it...if that's ok with you! Either way I hope you have a lovely day!! ^_^

Heya Anon!

I hope my work was worth the wait! XD

Turned it into a scenario because it came off easier to me, hope that’s all right! Shinsou fans have way too less content about him so I hope this long text will satisfy you guys! :3

Loved the request btw! That’s a pretty nice idea for a quirk!

Okay, I like to imagine the kind of scenery of a new person stepping into Shinsou’s life, turning his world upside down and “saving” him in a certain way. And I just love the “new one in town” cliché.

Have fun!

It was a day like anyone else. As always, Shinsou sat alone at his desk  and doodled something in his notebook, while trying to ignore the usual, susupicious stares his classmates directed at him.

How long has he kept on telling himself that it doesn’t bother him at all? Or that having friends is overrated anyway? Yet how everyone was treating him him even though he never did something wrong in his life was just too damn discouraging.

The only glimmer of hope was to finally meet some decent persons after graduation, even though he almost gave up on the thought of people ever treating him elseway.

As the bell rang, his homeroom teacher entered the class - accompanied by you. His explanation was short, and he asked you to introduce yourself. You stepped forwards, seemingly trembling from excitement. “H-hello! My name is [___]. I just moved here, but I hope we’ll get along well!”

Looking around, you were seeing many friendly expressions directed at you, making your nervousness slowly fading away. Only one boy didn’t seem to care much, since he was looking out of the window, his face leaned on his hand. Seemed like he’s daydreaming.

The seat right next to him was still free, so you just sat down there. As he looked over to you, you gave him your most gentle smile, but he looked away as soon as your eyes met. At first you didn’t think much of it, though.

On the other hand, he wasn’t really interested in you in the beginning - but he had to admid that you had a certain aura surrounding you. The “positive vibes”, or how people would call it, you were emitting were making him feel drawn to you - and you were kinda pretty, too. Maybe it was because of your kind eyes? Why is he even thinking so much about that? Anyway, you were way above his league. Another normal, popular child. Soon you’d find out about his quirk, and avoid him like anyone else.

_________

Obviously, at the first short break, everone was already swarming around you - a new student is always interesting. They were nice and all, but you didn’t really like to be the center of attention. May it be rude or not, you couldn’t help but find your attration centered at that weird boy still sitting at the window all alone. For some reason, it was hard to concentrate when he was around. The other pupils often had to bring you back down to earth when you stared at him for a bit too long. After you politely answered the questions of all of your classmates, you decided to get to know him.

Shinsou couldn’t believe when you walked up to his desk, certain the other students already  told you to stay away from him unless you want to get brainwashed. But you like to make your own impressions of people before judging, and also: You were kind of an expert in human nature, and he seemed like a nice person to you.

“Hi! I think we haven’t talked yet. Nice to meet you!” you cheered, reaching out a hand to him. He was hesistant to take it, being left speechless for a while. But he replied to your introduction anyway, silently stuttering “N-nice to meet you, too.”  “I hope I’m not disturbing you or something.” “N-not at all” he answered, trying to hide a soft blushing. You leaned over his notebook, amazed by his art. Like that, a long conversation about many topics came up. Both of you realized you had much in common, and you said you were looking forward to a wonderful friendship.

Yet he was still pretty distrustful. Were you trying to mock him or something? Why would you want to hang out with him of all people, when the other kids liked you? You didn’t seem like an outsider. So he convinced himself he doesn’t care that much, expecting to get disappointed again, and not wanting to rise his hopes - aside from that, your small, single smile somehow managed to brighten up his whole day.

____________

Through all the first lessons, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. At first he didn’t even realize it himself, but at lunch break some of the girls walked up to him and lessoned him about staying away from you. They even went so far to tell him not trying to use his powers to do nasty things or something. It really hurt him, but you interrupted the girls and told him to leave your friend alone. “Did she just call me her friend?”

“I am so sorry!” you said, bowing in apology as the girls went away, probably gossiping. “Because of me you got trouble with those girls! I didn’t want that!” “Huh, it’s not your fault” Shinsou said, trying to hide the crack in his voice. “They’re just stupid. They are doing this since forever. It’s not a big deal.” You realized that Shinsou was on the verge of tears, but didn’t say anything about it to not make him embarassed.

“How about we eat lunch together? The canteen is still open.” “Not interested, sorry” he said - but actually he’d love to. His only concern was about you - those girls already looked very angry, and if you were to be seen with him, maybe you’d get bullied too. “Oh, I get it” you answered, walking out of the classroom. Shinsou felt an ache in his heart when he saw your disappointed face.

But just a few minutes after, you were back in the classrom, which was completely empty - except for Shinsou. On your arms, you carried a whole load of snacks, which you just dropped on his desk. “Here! We’re alone here, the others won’t come back until the break ends. It’s fine, right?” Seemed like he was a little bit too obvious about his concerns.

Looking up, Shinsou saw your bright eyes, shining in expectation. He sighed as he unpacked a chocolate bar, his other hand grabbing a chair and pulling it next to him. “Yay!” you shoutet out as you sat down and started munching a cupcake, too. “How cute…” he thought, examining your facial expressions. When you realized, you asked him “Is something wrong with my face? You’ve been staring at it ever since I got here!” Damn, he was caught staring. But doesn’t this mean that you stared at him, too?

“Well, I just…I just wondered why you’re being so nice to me.” “Huh? Why shouldn’t I?” you chuckled, making him pretty angry. Aren’t you taking him seriously? He didn’t even notice how nervous you were, yourself. “Just to make this clear: I don’t want your help! I don’t need any sympathy!” You gulped while swallowing a bite of the cupcake, looking at him kind of confused. “That’s not what I had in mind, though. I want us to be friends! Really!” you cheered, shamelessly holding his hand. Getting flustered, Shinsou looked down to the table. “Oh…That’s all right, I guess.”

___________

Ever since this day, Shinsou was looking forward going to school - since he was able to meet you there. Thanks to you, the people stopped bullying Shinsou. They still weren’t really nice around him, but they kinda tolerated it.

He was quick to find himself at ease around you, and opened up more than he ever thought he would be. It were only a few weeks, but Shinsou was so happy to finally have someone he can call a true friend. And the fact that it’s someone as wonderful as you only made his happiness rise a thousandfold.

“I still don’t get it” he mumbled as the two of you walked through the city, sharing an ice-cream. “Aren’t you afraid of my quirk?” You poked his forehead, beginning to laugh at his stupid expression. “Do you still only think about this?” you said as you kept him from going any further, hugging him in the middle of the street. Shinsou dropped the ice-cream, blushing heavily. “You’re the nicest person I ever met, Shinsou” you whispered, adding “And I really, really like you!” Shinsou closed his eyes, enjoying this moment as he returned the hug. “Sorry. I shouldn’t doubt you. I’m glad that I got to know you, [___].”

This boy can’t take a hint. Well, he’s not really experienced at how to socialize in general, so you forgive him for being so oblivious to your feelings.

Oh god, the first time you visit his home was so bittersweet. His mom is a big sweetheart, putting some hell of an effort into making a nice dinner. She asked you a ton of questions and was even more excited about you than Shinsou. She kept checking on you guys and asked if you needed something. It made trying to approach him way more difficult as it already is, but you just couldn’t be mad at her. Especially after he tells you that his mom is always so pained and worried about him never having brought home a friend before.

This evening, you watched some old hero movies like “Captain America”, cuddling under a blanket in his bedroom. You admired his wish to become a hero. He never thought badly about you, even though you lied and told him you don’t have a quirk. You loved that about him - he never judges anyone, and is polite towards all people. Actually, you never thought about using your quirk to become a hero. You always wanted to become a psychologist or something like that. But listening to his dreams was very pleasant.

____________

One morning a few days later, Shinsou witnessed how one of the jocks were mocking a small boy in front of the school’s gate. The boy was already crying, and Shinsou saw how that guy shattered the boy’s art project on the ground. He grid his teeth, not able to just silently stand there and watch. Ready to activate his quirk, he stepped through the circle of people surrounding the scene, asking “Hey! Do you think this is funny?”

But in the blink of an eye, before the jock could even answere, he broke out in tears. “What the…” Shinsou thought - and then he saw you, slowly approaching the scene. “It hurts, doesn’t it?” “What did you do to me?!” the jock yelled out, still crying and unable to move due to the overwhelming sadness he felt.

“I just made you feel the way you make others feel. Not really pleasant, isn’t it?” The jock cried more than he ever thought possible, in front of all the people watching. “Stop this!” he yelled desperate. “That’s easy: Just apologize, and I’ll stop!” you cheered with a pleased grin on your face. Shinsou couldn’t believe his eyes when the jock fell onto his knees and apologized. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Just make this feeling stop, please!”

“Of course. Thank you! But make sure I’ll never catch you doing such things ever again!” you said, releasing your quirk. The jock, still terrified of what you just did to him, as well as embarassed about his reaction, ran away as fast as possible. Soon, you found yourself gathered by people whispering about how terrifying your quirk was. The way they looked at you was familiar - it was always the same when people found out about your quirk.

When you looked up and looked at the people, they flinched, and quickly they all fleed. Reading their emotions, you could only feel fear and aversion. Wanting to help the bullied boy back on his feet, you reached out your hands for him - but he yelled “Don’t touch me! You want to do something to me too, don’t you? Leave me alone!” As the boy slapped away your hand and ran for his life, tars filled up in your eyes, and you just stood there, your hands balled to fists as you faced the ground.

“Heya.” A familiar voice got you out of your trance. It was Shinsou, softly touching your shoulder. “That was pretty awesome. But your performance was a bit creepy, don’t you think?” You fell into his arms, crying your heart out. “Shinsou! I’m so sorry for not telling you!” “Understandable, though. But I have to say I’m a bit hurt that you didn’t trust me to keep a secret.”

Shinsou pet your head, helping you to calm down. The two of you sat down, leaning to the wall of the school’s gate. He didn’t quite know what to say, even though he could understand the pinch you’re in pretty well. So you started explaining:

“I don’t really have to tell you what it’s like, right? You’re the same. I think people are like this ever since I can imagine. They’re afraid of my quirk, even though I never use it. Basically, it’s pathokinesis. So I can sense and manipulate other people’s emotions. On my old school, it hurt too much that people treated me like this. I’m not as strong as you, Shinsou. I was ashamed of my abilities. So I wanted to start anew here, telling people I’m quirkless. I know, that’s pretty weak.”

“It’s not. You’re not the one at fault here. The only weak thing is the reaction other people show to our quirks.” You rested your head onto his shoulders. “Please, don’t think I just became friends with you because of our similar quirks. That’s not the case!” He pinched your cheeks. “Sigh. I didn’t think something like that, but-” Suddenly, the realization worried Shinsou. “You didn’t…sense my emotions, right?” he asked, trying to prevent himself from blushing.

“What? No! I’d never do that, Shinsou!” you said, hugging onto him. The boy’s heart raced very fast - as it always does when you’re so affectionate. He embraced you tightly, taking a deep breath before saying. “No matter what other people think of you: I’ll always be there for you, okay? From now on, it’s only the two of us!”

It pained him that those people would treat you unfair from now on, too. He of all people knows what it’s like when people don’t trust you just because of your quirk. “You know, even without your quirk, you’re always so kind and empathizing, and you really helped me getting out of my shell. To be honest, I was pretty envious of how well you can deal with other people…”

“But you’re amazing, too!” you interrupted him. “You’re polite and calm and so cool! I don’t care what all the others think - I only need you! I…can’t really explain it, but…From the very first moment, I felt kind of…attracted to you.” Realizing what you just said, both of you just stared at each other in awe.

“[___]. I-I’d like you to read my emotions right now.” “Huh? Why?” “Just do it, already!” he shoutet, when you reaized that he was shaking a bit. Blushing yourself, you activated your quirk.

Overwhelmed, you fell backwards. “[___]! Are you okay?” Shinsou yelled, immediately pulling you back to him to help you up. “I-I don’t know what to say…” you stuttered, trying to avoid eye contact. Many different emotions were mixed inside of him when it came to you: Respect, admiration, affection, and many more. But one outweighted the others. It was the first time you ever experienced someone having such a strong feeling of…love. And it was directed towards you.

“It’s okay. You can as well just ignore it. I-I just wasn’t courageous enough to tell you, so -” As quick as you could, you hastily pressed your lips onto his. Both of you closed your eyes, trying to do your best at this first, sloppy kiss. When you opened your eyes again, for the first time, Shinsou smiled from the bottom of his heart. He pressed your body against his, beginning to chuckle.

“Well, the two of us sure are a unique couple!”

Enter Player 5

Got a new character during the second half of the campaign today *confetti*, and hoo man what a Wild Fucking Ride. Wow.

Last session we defeated the Big Bad demon leader of the cult we were investigating, and got sent back to Thraben for two weeks of downtime between missions. The party is staying in a church compound, the characters all have these apartment rooms they’re chillin’ in, and were given an initial week of time to do whatever. 

Sibyl spent the better part of her time decoding The Book she carries; a bible loaded with coded scribbles added in by a party unknown to me. She made some good progress, which the content of is also.... unknown to me. Proud of her though! She also built a flying contraption that makes both Uriel and myself turn green with envy- quit being cool. Mikela took time to write to her family and had a heart to heart with a priest over her moral dilemmas. She also took the time to visit our werewolf Katya, played by the dm, and her younger sister to escort them on the town for a relaxing pub visit (as the church keeps them locked away unless escorted- being werewolves and all). Fun bonding happened over Mikela’s unwillingness to drink, and Katya’s jovial insistence on having a beer. 

The merriment was cut short very abruptly when Katya recognized a group of rangers in the crowd from her Past- and they recognized her. They got in her face about being a werewolf bold enough to come into the city- Mikela got into the ranger’s faces about being pricks- a ranger got into the younger sister’s face wiTH A KNIFE. Things escalated very- Very quickly. Mikela and the younger sister were brought out of the pub, leaving Katya wildly outnumbered in the pub. Mikela was able to overtake the one dude outside. Inside, Katya transformed FULL WOLF (just out of view, awww) and started kicking serious ass. Some thugs left the pub to attack the sister; Mikela decided that Katya had it handled and they fled. While fleeing they ran into a high ranking church knight and a crew of guards, who recognized Mikela’s regalia and they helped end the conflict (barely, Wolf!Katya had it handled and all they really did was get her to a hospital post fight). The knight turned out to be canon character Thalia, the Guardian of Thraben. Mikela and Thalia had a good heart to heart, knight to knight, chat- however the whole ordeal still left Mikela exhausted (probably doubly so with how many ‘I told you so’s were thrown her way over taking the werewolf for a walk :T overall NPCs were understanding tho).

((Per the norm, if Uriel wasn’t involved I was probably zoning in and out, there may be missed events, lmao, I try.))

Uriel started their week by trying to get as many resources from the armory as possible, and making a guard Actually Ill by describing scaberen stuff. Very successful. Couldn’t secure a room with a bathtub though. The better part of their time was building scaabs, and the better part of my time trying to describe them, haha;;; They packaged up a shiny new set of leatherworking tools for the old man she robbed in the cult-ridden town, added a small note, and got dressed in their best clothes as part of a convoluted plan to get Mikela to like them. They explained that they wanted to send a shiny new set of tools (omitting that they STOLE the old dudes regular set) to the man who so kindly housed us during our mission as both a thank you for his kindness, and an apology for our bad behavior (and the unmentioned guilt of ruining the dudes lively hood and sanity)- but they don’t know where the courier is or accurately remember the old man’s address :/ Another huge honkin’ success, the hidden truth stayed hidden and Mikela now thinks Uriel is a far better person than they actually are, PLUS Uriel’s nagging guilt of possibly really ruining this dude is lifted. Uriel was also able to gain access to a private bath through Mikela *confetti emoji* which... although not essential to the plot... is a creature comfort that makes it Way less likely that my character will try and escape for home.

Mikela used her and Uriel’s time together to try and figure out something about what the Lunarch had told the group out of her earshot last session. Uriel wasn’t able to lie as efficiently as normal after all the kindness Mikela had shown, and when caught lying Mikela offered even MORE kindness that... honestly caused a short circuit in my character’s self preservation and deceitfulness centers ((or in dice terms, I rolled a nat 1 on deception)). Uriel said that, although Mikela is the person she would want to tell the most, that they’re not in a safe enough place to talk about it. I’m pretty sure this set off every red flag and alarm in Mikela’s head- oops- but the characters are now closer for it :’) The awkwardness and seriousness of the situation entirely left Uriel’s mind the moment she saw how Nice the rooms for the traveling diplomats and higher ups were, and although Mikela still had concerns the two parted because personal hygiene and space are top priority for my dumb child.

At the end of week one, the Grand Lunarch Mikeaus called the “Investigative Squad” (as we seem to have started calling ourselves) to a meeting over the werewolf fiasco, and to introduce a new member to the group. The new member wasn’t the Lunarch’s idea, but the idea of many other Very Concerned church figures who just aren’t totally sure about all this- having someone Mikeaus didn’t pick himself added some security? We didn’t get much time to ask because the new member back flipped (literally) into the room, followed by magical glitter and fireworks. She tried, awkwardly, to get some laughs or applause from our Totally Stunned party, but eventually resigned to just introducing herself. Aurelia, former humble street performer, claims to have joined the church to “better the world” and sees the Investigative Squad as the perfect opportunity... you know... to better things. The scientists were amused, but Mikela was... not. At all. She took it as a personal slight and got Sassy. Introductions went... strangely. Uriel did a damn good job at creeping Aurelia the hell out, especially so when the word ‘scaberen’ was used (it was dodged many times prior to Mikeaus getting sick of us chatting). Aurelia also got anxious learning that Sibyl works in nerco-alchemy. I’d say every other sentence from this girl caused an insight check to happen, but we didn’t get much out of it immediately. Everyone except Aurelia was dismissed, Mikeaus had one final thing to share with her in private.

All together, Mikela began filling in Aurelia on the previous victories of the squad- less out of kindness and more as like,,, a petty accomplishment thing xD Aurelia took interest in the slain demons and Uriel eagerly offered to show off the work she did with the parts. Uriel had a full... maybe ten max minutes... of glory in which she thought the Whole Party was interested in seeing the upgrades she did to Ugly, and the new sculptures she was able to put together, before shit started hitting the fan. Aurelia managed to slip past both Uriel and Ugly and into Uriel’s totally trashed room to steal some unguarded demon parts. While Uriel struggled to get Aurelia back Out Of Their Space, the door fell off the hinges (thanks Ugly) and EVERYONE entered their disdainfully messy apartment. :( Sibyl and Mikela did some checks on Ugly to determine if the parts were safe. They aren’t. :(. One of the checks involved a spell that was able to detect demonic energies and Mikela detected the stolen part. 

Its... hard to describe how many /just barely successful/ deception checks Aurelia had made up to this point and HOW on edge everyone else was... but it was intense- and right here is where it started really going wrong really fast. Mikela grabs Aurelia’s bag and demands to know what the hell is going on, why there’s demonic energy in her bag, and what shes ACTUALLY here for. Aurelia tries a few more lies that fail horribly. “Demon parts that’s SILLY why would anyone want THAT” was said to the faces of both a scaberen and a necro-alchemist. She slips that shes from Nephalia as well and Uriel recognizes her. They call her out as a parts dealer they bought angel blood from once, which sets Mikela OFF. Aurelia tries to flee and combat starts. Shes slippery enough to avoid getting caught by Uriel’s whip AND grabbed by Ugly, but with great effort Mikela is able to grapple her- in the process knocking a ton of highly volatile scaberen chemicals onto the ground and lighting the damn apartment on fire. Sibyl uses her attack to try and put out the flames, fails. Aurelia casts a spell that frees her from Mikela’s grapple, and the shockwave from which blows out the fire. She makes a run for it and leaps out the window. Uriel lays on the ground and checks out from this chase b/c ughhhhhfuck this I almost lost all my work and supplies I’m out.

Sibyl peruses with a flight spell, and Mikela grabs the attention of some church guards from the window to join in the chase. Aurelia casts hideous laughter on Sibyl, who falls out of the sky onto Aurelia, leaving them both prone with a chance for the guards to catch up- they don’t though. Sibyl casts charm person on Aurelia, which keeps her from attacking, but not from escaping as she casts an illusion and vanishes (?). Mikela leaves Aurelia’s stuff with Uriel in the room and rushes to the combat. 

The session ended and the DM advised on thinking up a background character just in case the party manages to catch Aurelia and kill her- or if Aureila escapes for good. I hope neither of those is the case because holy Crap that was a hilarious session. I gotta do some doodles from it because- just- MAN.

2017 summary!

Hi, I’ve been busy :’) Here’s the 2017 compilation with my fav personal art I did each month :) ...which is mostly just a bunch of Tales of Zestiria and NieR:Automata stuff xD I’m happy I managed to have personal stuff each month this year! 2016 was mostly work and more work until I said screw it and ... stopped working “Orz. I’m tempted to do my fav work or project piece of every month, but I already spent enough time on this one x’D

Art goals for 2018:

FINISH MY PROJECTS, DAMMIT. Do more traditional art on my free time. >> 2016 compilation <<

Month-to-month insight and personal life musings about the year under the cut. Warning: It’s long, and everything is pretty much a bummer, so if you’re feeling bummed yourself, it’s be a better idea to go watch puppy videos than to read this xD

I did count the number of files from procrastidoodles, finished pieces, project stuff and paid work/commissions I had for each month saved on my computer and excluded the duplicates. They painted a pretty good picture of my mood and my mental state along the year, I think. I drew 240+ procrastidoodles this year! (again mostly Zesty and NieR lol) Most of them were done while burned out, during months after I tried to get a lot of work done :’) I spam most of them on my twitter nowadays. I keep forgetting to upload stuff over here and for that I apologize “Orz. January was a very productive month for me in general, while February was a burned out month (lots of procrastidoodling, very little of anything else... including work.) I was still obsessed with Zesty during Jan/Feb.The anime iirc was still airing back then and I was still trying to be sociable in the fandom. March started my descent into NieR:Automata hell xD It was also another “try to get a ton of shit done!” month, because NaNoRenO; I had a death wish and decided I could handle paid work and THREE personal projects at the same time. Ha. Hahahaha. =_= (spoiler: that didn’t work.)

April was the heavy burnout month after that. Actually I didn’t do that much procrastidoodling this month and I was in general pretty dead... idk how I managed to get 2 finished pieces done at all O_o; Maybe my procrastidoodling energy was channeled into them somehow...? May was when I threw the towel, decided to take a full break from work and projects, opened commissions and just did whatever I wanted. The Soremiku piece I picked for May was a collab with @alassetasartir​, she did the lines and I did the coloring ^^ June was apparently watercolor month! Also very procrastidoodling-intensive. July and August where... bad. I did pretty much nothing and barely got out of bed to exist (I did 7 things in August. 7. In total. Across all my categories. “Orz). I did work on the Amusement park piece in July-August and that’s my favorite thing I did in 2017, though! And by the end of August, I moved to a new apartment! Where I FINALLY GOT A 2ND ROOM AND COULD HAVE A DESK ALL FOR MYSELF AND MY STUFF WITHOUT HAVING TO SHARE IT WITH THE BF!! ;O; I wanted that for 5 years, 5 YEARS!!! *wipes a happy tear*

September and October were “catching up with the work I’ve neglected this year” months. I didn’t get much done in terms of personal things, though, because... work.

November was WORK OR DIE. I did *a lot* of stuff. A lot. I churned out stuff for projects and work like woah. And personal stuff was close to 0. I have only 4 doodles saved from November on my folders, though I may have a couple more on twitter? I tend to screenshot my doodles, post them and not save them ^^; And December has been a summer-hot, slow, short mess of a month; I suspect burnout, bc I can barely draw shit right now... or do anything else, for that matter “Orz. I seriously need to buy an industrial fan for that awfully hot computer room or I won’t survive January =_=; (in case you don;t know, I live on the southern hemisphere, it’s summer here and it’s awful)   As for art, I feel like I improved this year. I’m happy with with what I’ve been able to do and with what I’m able to do when I work hard! I managed to do personal stuff each month, even if it was mostly procrastidoodling, but still! :D I even did finished pieces almost once a month :) And I keep repeating it, but I’m extremely proud of my amusement park piece <3 <3 <3 ...But I’m also upset with how inconsistent I’ve been and still am when it comes to balancing all the shit I have to do and want to do ): Being productive, then burned out, then productive then burned out again has been my jam this year and it hasn’t been healthy at all “Orz.

As for life, it was... bleh. While 2016 was like a rollercoaster, with a lot of high-highs and crashing down lows, 2017 was just a looooong low ride. I went from the social online person I had become in previous years to slowly being a hermit again because I managed to screw things up with some people while I was also, once again, pretty overwhelmed with everything I had on my plate. The depression and debt I was dragging from 2016 plus the burnout cycle kept doing their thing on my mental health, and losing friends and getting dumped didn’t really help; yay bad timing :/ (I deserved being dumped, though; I was neglectful af and bad at communicating, so even if it was understandable bc my mental health was pretty crappy during late 2016-early 2017, it’s not an excuse.) I ended up with a lot of “what’s the point of getting out of bed today” days by the middle of the year. Moving to a new apartment with the BF helped improve a lot of things, though, and for that I’m very grateful! Also having a dog helps a lot, I may feel like a waste of space that can barely exist, but my dog needs to go outside for potty at least twice a day :’D Since then, I’ve been working towards a more balanced life, with more successes than failures, but still not quite there yet. I still have a few days peppered here and there where I feel heavy and sad and unable to get out of bed and I barely eat... but I try to not dwell on them for too long (speaking of which, I should shower and attempt to exist today... “Orz). When I look back and think of the highlights of this year, it’s all stuff that happened to other people around me.  I just... kept struggling with my bad choices and poor mental health to pay the bills, pay my debts and don’t disappoint ppl. But such is life for a lot of folks, isn’t it? So let’s say... the positive highlights of this year were the new apartment and NieR:Automata xD Also @yunalescasakura​ , she’s been a sweetheart this year to me and I don’t deserve her. I believe everything will be better once I manage to finish my project stuff (450+ unpaid hours to go... :’DDD) and I can’t wait for the day that I’m finally free from that to start a new chapter. By this time next year I should be done with projects and will be able to get a better balance!! I JUST HAVE TO ENDURE ONE MORE YEAR!! >_</ What I’m looking forward in 2018, besides finishing all my shit, is to buy a pen display! I’ve been saving slowly for one! I can’t afford a Cintiq, but I’m eyeing an xp-pen 15.6 *v* I also want to try to do traditional art once a week, probably during the weekend... I seriously need a break from drawing on the computer all day, and watercolors and colored pencils relax me so much... I want to buy a good webcam eventually to livestream/record speedpaint videos of it, because I love watching videos of people doing traditional art, haha ^^; Hopefully, in 2018 there will be a couple of Visual Novels released with my art, not counting my own stuff. I’ll also be resuming work on CDC: SideB as a hired artist this time around, since I can’t find the time at all to work on it otherwise. I sincerely hope I’ll be able to find mental space to be sociable in 2018 again, I hate being a hermit “Orz. That’s my goal for 2018: Find balance, kill the burnout cycle and be sociable again!

If you managed to read all of this, thank you. Thanks for being around, thanks for the nice messages that some of you somehow still send me even when I’m barely around anymore. I hope in 2018 I can give back to you all a lot more than I was able to this year. May the new year in ahead of us be full of nice things for everyone!