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ccrissproductions · 4 months

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We Are Our Own Muse

Hi! I've been writing this fanfic based off of my maladaptive daydreams (thank you ADHD) combining my two favorite artist, Fall Out Boy and Kendrick Lamar, that includes a few OCs (based off of the life of myself and of the featured artists). Now problem is this is an adoption fic. I know-- I know, that is such a Wattpad-ten-years-ago thing to write. I know I'm sorry.

With that said, I'm like eight chapters in and I have no idea on whether or not I should post it. I figured post a few chapters here and see how it goes.

Chapter One: Destiny Child Enthusiasts

I would like to start off by saying that I am not a bad kid.

Troubled? Maybe.

Misunderstood? Most definitely.

But bad? Nah; never.

Okay?

Bad kids don't use semicolons.

I'm just trying.

Okay?

I'm trying.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out how you get a mosquito bite under an ankle monitor.

I don't even go outside for real.

I sat curled up on my bed with my headphones on.

Playlist been ended, they were just comfortable to wear. My solace, actually.

They were actually a birthday gift from my old P.O.

I just turned fourteen a week ago. Three days before that, I was in L.A.

Now, I'm in Chicago.

From one orphanage to the next.

At least this time I get the attic to myself.

I look at the sketch pad beside me and realize I've been spaced out for a while now.

I tried to scratch that mosquito bite again--- that shit itches.

I haven't been in the system for long. Five years ain't long.

And I'm not an orphan.

This no "orphan Annie" shit either; I know my parents.

My aunties.

My uncles.

My grandmothers.

All that.

Damn this bite itch.

There was a knock on the attic door before someone peaked their head in.

"Hey Stein," It was 3J.

3J was a muscular man, dark brown in tone with a five o'clock shadow. His dreads were twisted and styled back in a way that reminded me of ram horns.

I offered a small smile and an even smaller wave.

"You coming down for lunch?" He asked, resting his arms on the floor. I shook my head 'no.'

"Criss (did I mention my name wasn't Stein) you didn't come down for breakfast this morning."

I was not awake.

The best thing about being in the attic--- you miss the wake up call.

I offered him a blank stare instead of my actual thoughts.

He returned a stern look.

Reluctantly, I get off my bed and move towards the trap door.

"Thank you," 3J said as he climbed down the step ladder.

He brushed off the nonexistent dust off his polo and khakis and started walking down the hall.

I followed after him.

I watch everyone race towards the cafeteria.

I walked behind 3J as we headed to the same destination.

"You know your P.O. should be visiting soon?" 3J started. I smack my teeth.

Fuck that bitch.

She's not the one who gave me the headphones--- nah, I got moved off her roster and passed to this new joint.

This new one is the type who only has this job to make herself feel like a good Samaritan or some shit.

The type to brag about the 'work she does' and the 'dangers she faces' to her friends while seeing every person that looks like me on her roster as future criminals or low lives.

God, I hate that bitch.

"We'll be able to tell her that you haven't been into any trouble lately," 3J continued.

Right, cause why get into trouble when I'm already wearing an ankle bracelet?

And define 'we;' you can converse, I'm just there to be present.

"Maybe, she can help convince the judge to get that bracelet off," he spoke hopefully, but I knew better.

Shawty ain't doing that. You have to care to even attempt to do something that generous. She can give a shit less about me.

3J looked back at me and read the expression on my face and sighed.

"Just be nice."

As the saying goes, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Note how I'm silent all the time.

We made it to the cafeteria, and some kid shoved me as he ran inside.

I grab a tray and fall in line. Some girls get behind me.

"Ooh, rat bitch out her hole," the light-skinned one, looking like a Great Value Tessa Thompson spoke first.

"Bitch needs to get her hair done," the dark-skinned girl insulted next.

Her boyfriend was sucking her brother's dick last night--- but that's none of my business.

"She needs some new clothes," the brown-skinned girl spoke last.

Honestly, she would be fuckable if she just shut up.

Her voice is irritating.

And she needs a new lace wig.

I got my food. Immediately, I considered escaping back to my room. Unfortunately, 3J is blocking the entrance that led to the attic and the extrovert in him is not going to let me not be in a social environment.

So, I chose the emptiest table and sat on the emptiest side of that table.

Why in the fuck did these Destiny's Child enthusiasts sit across from me??

Someone please give me the answer, 'cause I want to know.

I poked at the food on my plate.

Lasagna day. I actually like lasagna day.

"Hi," 'Tessa' drawled out with a slight roll of her neck, Chicago accent thick in her voice.

I looked up at her.

I looked back down at my plate and took a bite out of my food.

Could use some salt.

"What? you don't know how to speak?" The brown skin one (her name was actually Tatiyana. Her name didn't actually fit her, but, oh well), spoke, she eyed me with expectation.

Of course, I know how to speak. I just don't have nothing to say to y'all bitches.

I took another bite out of my food.

The dark-skin girl grabbed my tray and threw it across the table. The plate made a loud clatter as it hit the floor.

I eyed the room.

All eyes on us.

"Well?"

Do you know how entitled you have to be to start a fight with someone who don't talk?

Doesn't 'entitled orphan' seem like such an oxymoron?

...Bitch probably can't even spell 'oxymoron.'

I rolled my eyes, sat back in my chair, and crossed my arms; respectively. Without saying a word, I was daring them to jump.

Offense painted their faces like graffiti.

The princess and her puppets stood up from the table-- a silent threat.

"Ay!" 3J called as he jogged over to us.

Fake ass Bianca Creed snarled. I watched her and her posse walk off.

3J stood a few feet from me with his hand on his hips.

I walked to him, and we started to leave the cafeteria.

"Stein, what did we just talk about?" 3J started to scold me.

I huffed and tucked my hands into my hoodie's pockets.

I didn't do anything.

"I saw the whole thing, Criss," He continued.

And you let them get that close to me? Damn, I thought we were cool.

He sighed deeply as we made it back to my hole in the ceiling.

"Just try, ok?"

Still, did not do anything, but whatever nigga.

I nodded and went back into the attic.

I laid back on my bed, earphones back on and still no music playing.

That mosquito bite pangs with irritation as I stare up at the ceiling.

My stomach growls.

I'm hungry.

#fall out boy #fanfiction #kendrick lamar #fanfic #adoption #fic #mania era #fob smfs #smfs era #might delete later #ao3 writer

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birlwrites · 2 years

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hi! it's me, the person who had the very confusing birthday! uh so i got dumped which in and of itself, I'm not v upset abt (it needed to happen, we just aren't v compatible as a couple, and if he didn't break up w me, I would've broken up w him), but I am a bit upset it happened on my birthday :/// but I digress!

im really curious about how the light scions will view regulus's side, vs Dumbledore's! I know that in ur previous posts, you've talked abt how Sirius hasn't even told his friends abt the dark arts, and I just thought it would be fascinating to hear what u had to say abt, say, James and Remus, and how they feel abt Dumbledore. for the marauders, I'm pretty sure Sirius being on regulus's side will make all the difference, but that also makes me curious about light scions who aren't friends w Sirius or regulus?

I know this is probably not going to happen for a while but I also can't wait to see how Dumbledore would react to there being a third side, and how he might change his recruitment strategy to account for ppl who are sympathetic to muggleborns, but aren't against the dark arts

getting dumped on your birthday does seem like it would sting. yikes. my sympathies for that, but also yay for something happening that needed to happen!

ohohohohoHO alright so first of all - i'm not going to talk much in this response about how dumbledore is going to react to there being a third side. you're correct that it's not going to happen for a while, and tbqh how he reacts depends a LOT on the shape of regulus's side by the time that dumbledore finally finds out about it

which is an elaborate way of me saying that like. i have the general sketch of how dumbledore's going to respond, but it's not fleshed out enough for me to really be able to ramble about it afjlsghskfj - i leave my outlines very flexible because i make a lot of decisions as i write, and i'm just not close enough to that point yet to really know how it's going to go

okay but now back to the first part of your question! namely: if you believe that dark arts are bad/evil/wrong/associated with blood purists........ how do you view regulus's side versus dumbledore's?

i'm going to start with james and remus because oh my god fASCINATING. (these are the things i think about in class)

first james: as you've said, sirius being on reg's side will make all the difference for him, tbh. or like, enough of it. but let's say - look, james is part of the sacred 28, okay? he's part of that fraction of the sacred 28 that isn't part of the dark network, but he is still sacred 28, his father is still in the wizengamot, his family still attends society events, and--okay my point here is that james has grown up learning some THINGS about house black.

and also about dumbledore.

let me bullet point these out:

house black:

super old, *pristine* bloodline, to the point of disowning people who marry blood traitors

dark arts follow them like a shadow - centuries ago, the blacks were rather open about practicing them, and nobody's forgotten

uptight power-hungry purist assholes, mostly

dumbledore:

defeated grindelwald, an incredibly powerful dark wizard (and fanatical blood purist, no surprises there), which catapulted him into legend status

uses his positions as headmaster of hogwarts and... y'know, whatever sway he has at the ministry (my brain is tired and i haven't so much as breathed on canon in quite some time ajfslkghkdf) to champion muggleborn rights and fight against blood purist institutions

a whimsical fellow :)

oh, and some context on dumbledore's role in the war - of course *we* know he's the head of the order, and regulus knows he's the head of the order, and voldemort knows he's the head of the order, but most people don't know about that. the order of the phoenix is a vigilante group - they may share common goals with the DMLE, but they're still operating underground, so it's not a Known Thing that dumbledore is in charge of them. (not that it surprises anyone who learns the truth, because again, legend status, government sway, etc)

so that's james's background information on the leaders of these two sides. also, he does not like regulus on a personal level, for reasons i went into........... somewhere.

oh my god afsjlghdkfj this is going to have to be multiple posts. i can't go into detail about james's thought process on this post and then also talk about remus and then also talk about most of the general population of hogwarts and also magical britain, it will be a dissertation

the important thing to note with james is that he has never, ever been put into a situation in which he needs to question his own belief that dark arts = evil. sirius is bending over backwards to keep james from needing to question that (although sirius is mainly doing it to protect himself - and that's not to say that james is completely blissfully unaware of sirius being a tad uncomfortable around the topic of dark arts, but that's a whole other post). so james's first impression of regulus's side will be....... let's call it Not Positive. (and he does interpret dumbledore's side as The Good Ones)

but people practicing dark arts are different from dark *creatures*, aren't they? moony can't help being what he is...

which brings me to remus!!

remus got the same messaging that james did about house black and dumbledore, but it wasn't nearly as strong for him, because that's just.... not the world he moves in. like, yeah yeah yeah, some of the noble houses do/have done bad shit, the headmaster of hogwarts beat a dark wizard in a duel. he knows all of the same INFORMATION that james does, it's just that remus didn't grow up around these people, so it always kind of remained in distant mental territory, you know?

remus is a dark creature, which doesn't make him pro-dark arts. not at all, actually. he can't help what he is, and he never had that choice, and it boggles his mind that some people CHOOSE ~the dark side~. he associates that with pain and suffering and just bad things in general, on a very visceral level

oh and here's another thing that's going to give remus even more trouble: he owes a LOT to dumbledore. dumbledore permitted remus to attend hogwarts, which means dumbledore gave remus access to friends, magical education, a shot at eking out some sort of non-awful existence in the magical world, and most importantly, dumbledore TRUSTED remus to use this chance wisely

(i think dumbledore did genuinely want remus to have the same opportunities as other magical kids his age, or at least as close to that as possible. i also think dumbledore was very, very aware of the debt of gratitude he was incurring upon remus, and his family, by making this happen - he just wasn't sure what would come of it. then the war broke out, and he was like 'ah yes perfect i could use a werewolf who feels indebted to me')

so remus has a lot of trouble with the idea of dark arts being something good or desirable, and he also has a lot of trouble with the idea of going against dumbledore's side - not the order necessarily, i specifically mean *dumbledore's* side.

and sirius being on regulus's side does make a huge difference, but remus is wrestling with some very gut-wrenching internalizations here, and that's never easy

with regard to everyone else:

i think the perception of 'dark arts = blood purity' is so strongly interwoven into magical culture that when Normal People™ find out about regulus's side, their first reaction is going to be HUGE amounts of cognitive dissonance, because 'wait what do you mean they're doing both, that's impossible/ridiculous/contradictory--isn't it?'

which means regulus's side coming out into the open (which will not happen for Quite some time) will *really* shake the foundation of the war, in a way that will not please voldemort or dumbledore. both voldemort and dumbledore (and the sides they represent) benefit from this dichotomy, and when regulus fucks it up, he fucks up a LOT of their strategies for recruitment, image, rhetoric, etc.

suddenly, things are possible that weren't supposed to be possible. the world is different. and voldemort and dumbledore do NOT APPRECIATE THAT

#i have done all the logistic shenanigans i must do #turning in forms and such #FOR NOW.#should i make an inbox tag #dark lord wip #afjskghskfh this post is so much and yet comes nowhere near covering everything

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hikaruklaus · 1 year

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Heya, my name is Klaus. I'm a hentai artist and professional game developer. This post acts as an introduction, as well as a semi-incoherent rant.

... Enjoy?

I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment, I haven't been happy for a while now and I feel like I need some sort of space to write about my thoughts and stuff. I know very little about tumblr and how it works, which is part of the reason I picked it as my little "vent space". I've never been fully active on social media, but I know that I really hate Twitter, Facebook is frustrating to use, TikTok is overwhelming and irritating, and Reddit has a lot of unnecessary negativity floating around constantly. Hopefully this place is a little bit better. I'm not expecting people to follow or even see the stuff I post, but I hope the environment is less hostile and irritating than its competition.

I'm in my early 20s, and I'm a real goddamn nerd (you know, in case the whole "game developer and hentai artist" introduction didn't make that obvious). I love Nintendo games, heavy metal, cats, and vtubers. I have an off-beat sense of humour, don't know how else to describe it. Earthbound and Monkey Island kind of stuff.

I'm definitely on the weirder side (again, in case that wasn't obvious), at least partially because I'm autistic. I doodle ahegao faces while waiting for meetings to start, I have a compilation of various Hololive vtubers screaming as my alarm in the morning, and I have a Spotify playlist that jumps from Metallica's recent "Screaming Suicide" to the full version of that "Japanese Goblin" song that went viral like a year ago.

I'm a massive degenerate (in case that wasn't obvious [3× COMBO]). I have the whole starter package, a daki, an oppai mousepad, and like a dozen physical doujinshi.

They say tattoo artists shouldn't be tattoo artists unless they themselves have been tattoo'd, because they should know what the experience is like.

...Let's just say I'm glad the same doesn't go for hentai artists.

I speak a variety of languages, but I'll primarily be posting in English. Might throw in some Japanese dialogue into a drawing or something if I'm in the mood, it happens.

I've studied both art and game design. I'm a character artist/animator, and a generalist game designer. Don't feel like I'm particularly good at either one of them to be honest with you. : P

I use Clip Studio Paint EX to draw, and I'm slowly getting used to its animation tools as well. (I've mainly used OpenToonz, Krita, and FireAlpaca in the past, but I love the CSP brushes and layout so much that I'm trying to switch over entirely.)

I have experience with a lot of game engines, ranging from the Unreal Engine (aka my mortal enemy) to the much more simple and comfortable GameMaker Studio. I've worked on a variety of projects, some solo, others with different groups of people. Very unlikely anything you've played though.

I'm probably going to be posting a hentai drawing or three here. I tend to draw lewd shit when I'm sad, dunno why. Never had a place to post them before. I might just post a quick 5-minute sketch, or maybe a rough animation. I don't really know yet. Might do it daily, might do it once every few months.

Like I said, I haven't been happy for a good while now. I jump in and out of depressive episodes pretty often but this one's managed to last for a little longer than they usually do. I would love to tell my friends about it, but I just feel like I'd be a massive nuisance to them.

There's a lot that's bothering me, and I feel like I have to express it somehow. I'm not really a fan of "venting" on the internet, maybe because it reminds me of my teenage years, I don't know for sure- but posting it here feels "safe", it's in some random blog post no one will read, not an alarming message on discord or whatsapp, so I won't have to worry about bothering anyone, and I'll still get to write about how I feel.

Nothing I do feels right. My drawings look bad. My conversations are stale. My sleep schedule is fucked. My code is messy. I know things will get better eventually, I've been through this before, but it's hard to convince myself that that's actually the case and not just something I'm making up.

I've been feeling extremely lonely lately. As you can probably imagine if you've read all the stuff written above, I'm not exactly what you'd call a "chick magnet". I haven't been in a relationship since I was in my mid-teens, and the one I was in back then was long-distance. I haven't held a girl's hand since I was five or so and we were practically forced to do so in kindergarten. I've never kissed anyone in my life. I'm awful at nonverbal communication, and I get really jumpy whenever someone touches me, neither of which are great in a relationship. Finding someone with the same interests as me is practically impossible. I googled a whole bunch of statistics a few months back and came to the conclusion that every time I meet someone in the country I'm currently in, there is a 0.000773% chance that we have some interests in common, are both attracted to each other, and that they are single. (Oh yeah, I like numbers. Forgot to mention that.) That 0.000773% is obviously just an estimate, but I tried to be as "fair" as possible with the calculation. I very rarely leave my house, my eyesight is really rough so driving is out of the question, which means meeting new people is a rare occurance. At this point I feel like the best move might just be to give up and accept that I'll be alone forever, but that just makes me even sadder.

My real name isn't Klaus. It's an alias I came up with a few years ago that I only ended up using once to post a drawing. The drawing in question was on the lewder side of things, and I didn't want it to be associated with my other alias because no one knew about my "un-seiso" drawings. I've improved a lot as an artist since posting that old drawing and decided to pick the alias back up.

My reason for this isn't that my drawings are some kind of "DEEP DARK SECRET" that I have to keep from anyone- to be completely honest with you, I don't really care if anyone finds out what my main alias is. I just want to keep my hentai drawings separate from my more, ahem, "family friendly brand", that's all.

Sorry for rambling so much. It's very, very late, and I should be asleep by now. Bless your heart if you actually read all that crap. Cheers.

PS. Unless I decide to change it in the future, I realised right before posting this that I never set a profile picture, so I doodled an ahegao face as fast as I could, and for some reason I actually kind of like it. Really wish it weren't off-center though, might fix that tomorrow.

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ivory-sunflower · 3 years

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Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere.

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless.

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx

29/11/2020

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chris-evans-indian-fanfic · 4 years

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Across Seven Seas

Chapter 4

Description: This fanfiction series is set in the year 2022, after the horrid COVID-19 has finally come to an end. In this fanfiction, Chris Evans holidays with his family in India and meets Meera Shankar. The story explores their rollercoaster journey and raises a question, whether two people, from two contrasting backgrounds and cultures, can build their future together?

WE FINALLY FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHRIS IN THIS CHAPTER!

This series is Chris Evans x OFC with Chris Evans' family and friends having recurring appearances. Please find below a lot of Original Characters-

Meera Shankar - The female lead

Meera's Mother

Poppy - Meera's maternal grandmother

Rohan - Meera's elder brother who is 6 years older than her.

Ankur - Concierge of the Hotel Maple-Fawn in Mussoorie

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3

Chapter 5

FIND MORE CHAPTERS BY CLICKING ON MY BIO

P.S- India follows only one timezone.

P.P.S- All the photographs used in the chapters are of the real locations mentioned. I clicked these photographs on my vacation.

This is a work of fiction. The names of the hotels and companies have been changed to avoid copyright issues. Meera Shankar and her family is based on the author and her kin. No offense is intended.

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

...

Chapter 4

7th September, 1:50 pm - Dehradun-Mussoorie Road

Seated comfortably in 2 large SUVs, the Evans family was on its way to Maple-Fawn, where they were to spend the rest of their vacation in peace. While almost everyone was fast asleep, Chris was wide-awake, awestruck with the view as their cars drove on winding slopes of the mountain. His body was tired, but his eyes refused to shut, taking in every detail of the natural beauty.

When they finally reached the hotel, the cold air was cruelly nipping at them. Since Delhi had been extremely hot, they had decided to ditch the winter wear until after they reached Mussoorie. Basking in the warmth of their rooms, Chris couldn't help but marvel at the view from his room. The entire valley was sprawled beneath him, the hill-side dotted with lush green leaves.

There were mountains as far as his eyes could see, dark green set against the bright blue sky. This would be a good place to sketch, he thought, sitting on the chair in his bedroom balcony.

The rest of the day was uneventful for the family, with all of them tuckered out.

Same day, 5:30pm - Hotel Maple-Fawn

Bundled up in 2 sweaters, a jacket, skull cap and finally, a shawl to cover it all up, Meera finished her walk across the property. She now knew where the gym, yoga centre, gaming zone, library, swimming pool, dance club, spa and garden were located. She knew every exit, every corridor and passage. She was satisfied with the amount of fire extinguishers present and their ease of access. The hotel had various maps screwed into the walls, with clearly demarcated ways to the nearest exit and fire extinguishers.

Heading back to her room, she felt her phone vibrate. "Hey Ma, what happened?" she answered the call. "Where are you?" "Just taking a walk, coming back now." "YOU LEFT THE HOTEL?! ALONE?!" shouted her mother. "Ma, calm down, I did not leave the hotel. I was just taking a walk inside the hotel premises. I wanted to see their gym, swimming pool, gaming zone, spa..." "Oh okay okay, but you should have told me you are going na." "Have you checked your phone? I sent you a Whatsapp message when I left. You even received it," replied Meera. "Yes but that was a long time ago!" "It was only 20 minutes ago Ma!" said an indignant Meera, "It is not my fault that you panicked!" "I am your mother. I have every right to panic when I can't find my children." Reaching the lift to her portion of the hotel, Meera disconnected the call.

Conducting a thorough check of any premises had become somewhat of a habit for Meera. There had been too many instances where innocent people had been the victims of fires just because the building had not been upto code, or even if they were, then the people did not know where the exits were or how to use a fire extinguisher. She was not going to take any chances when it came to protecting her family.

Entering the shared bedroom, Meera's mother ran to hug her, "Where were you? Do you know how worried I was?" "Mom I had been gone for just 20 minutes. Can you please not be so clingy?" retorted Meera, dodging her mother. "I am a mother. Mothers are not clingy." "First of all," replied Meera, "A mother is a relation and being clingy is a personality trait, so yes, you can be both. And secondly, I told you where I am na, what is the need to be so hyper all the time?" "I worry Bala," her Mother said with concern, "Times are bad." "If the times are bad then..." "How is the rest of the hotel?" interrupted Poppy, ending their conversation. "It is great. They even have a small library here. Some of your favourite authors are available as well. There's Danielle Steel, Maeve Binchy and Babara Taylor Bradford." "Oo that's nice. Any books which we haven't read?" "I don't know which books you haven't read, but I will take you there whenever you want. I got this interesting book which talks about the history of Mussoorie and..." "Why is my phone hanging?" Poppy interrupted again, "Meera check and see what is wrong with my phone." Meera quietly sighed. Her grandmother had an annoying habit of interrupting people when they were talking about something she wasn't interested in. Clearing some of the junk from the phone, she handed it back to Poppy. "Aah now it's working properly," smiled Poppy.

Next day, 10am - Hotel Maple-Fawn

The restaurant where all the meals were served housed floor-to-ceiling windows which offered a beautiful view of the trees and overlooked the valley below.

The Evans family was already at the table next to the window, savoring the delicious breakfast. Scott suddenly stopped eating his omelette, his eyes squinting at something across the room. "Did you guys see that woman? She took a bowl of cornflakes and is eating them without milk! Why would she do that?" Carly and Lisa turned around while Shanna tried to crane her neck to look at the person. "Who are you talking about?" asked Shanna. "That woman in the skull cap! She's sitting at the table of 4, with 3 other people! The one who's wearing the bulky sweater and shawl!" "That's not a woman, that's a man," stated Carly, "I saw him walking around our wing yesterday. He was looking at all the fire extinguishers and the maps for some reason. I thought he worked with the hotel. What a weirdo." "I think that's a woman," contributed Lisa, "What do you think Chris?" "Not interested," came the reply.

Over the course of the next few days, members of the Evans family kept spotting the 'mystery person', either at the gaming zone, the library, restaurant or around the premises. Shanna swore she once heard the person and their voice sounded "Deep and gruff, just like a man's!" "Bullshit!" retorted Scott, "I saw her crouching on the gravel pathway yesterday. It's a she!" "Wait why was she crouching on the pathway for no reason? That is so weird!" commented Stella, Chris' 13-year-old niece. "Oh she was picking up some wrapper or plastic, I don't know I wasn't very close." "Then how are you sure it was she and not he?" argued Shanna.

The doorbell of their suite rang, putting a pause to the argument. The concierge, Ankur, was at the door. He informed them that the hotel was organising a horse-riding workshop for the next day and wanted to check if anyone would be interested to participate. "Sounds like fun," Scott wondered, "No! I cannot hear you complain about chafed thighs for the rest of the vacation," said Chris. After they politely refused, Ankur reminded Chris about the mediation program. "You have only visited one session sir, when we had you signed up for the entire duration of your stay. Did you not like the session?" "Oh no it was great. I... I just wanted to spend sometime with my family, you know?" "I understand sir. You can rejoin the program anytime you want. I will take your leave. Do let us know if there's anything we can do to serve you," and with that, Ankur left.

"I am sorry," apologized Carly, "I thought you might like the mediation program. Rishikesh is just a few hours away you know. We can go and spend the rest of our vacation there." "Please don't say that," replied Chris, "They have a nice teacher here. It's just that I have already heard and read everything that the guru was preaching. Plus it's so beautiful here. I want us to stay," Chris tried his best to sound convincing.

It wasn't that this vacation was a bad idea, the change of location and the absence of the hounding media had relieved some of the stress Chris had been facing. It was just that Chris felt like he didn't belong anywhere. Uptil now, for the better part of the vacation, he had stayed holed up in his room, either watching PicFlix or sitting in his balcony, with a blank notepad and pencil. There were days when his mind was flooded with thoughts and then there were times when he felt... numb. He sat in the cold, without a sweater or a jacket, just to feel the nip of the wind, which never really came. He felt like he was either running at top speed, or he had come to a full stop. When therapy had not worked for him, he had tried to speak to his family, but they were always supportive and just this once, just this once, he did not want them to be. He had fucked up, and he wanted a way to fix it. But how could he when he himself needed fixing?

Settling back in his room, with a glass of whisky, neat, he closed his eyes, to rewind everything that had happened, once again.

Post the COVID-19 nightmare, when the country had finally reopened and life had started to return to normalcy, Chris and his partners, Mark Kassen and Joe Kiani, had finally launched their civic engagement project A Starting Point (ASP). The launch had been successful, with Chris' devoted fans flocking to the website in the first few days. The concept had been quite simple, to get senators on one-minute videos to answer questions on topics related to education, trade policies, immigration and more. They had managed to get inputs and secure participation from politicians belonging to both the parties. It all worked fine for the first 2 months.

The third month came with its own set of issues. Many politicians started promoting their own agendas, instead of just explaining the existing policies. This led to a shortage of interview clips as Chris and his team refused to air such videos.

As time went on, politicians belonging to the same parties started giving different, contradicting information on the same topics. While some senators painted a pretty picture about a particular policy, others spoke against it. What added fuel to the fire was that the some of the news media had started reporting that Chris was causing friction in both the political parties through ASP, especially the Republican party. It also didn't help that Chris had been outspoken against the previous Republican President. Moreover, politicians who answered questions by ASP started changing their responses when they were asked the same questions by the media. They blamed Chris for somehow manipulating and changing their responses.

This had already started taking a toll on Chris' career. Award functions were reluctant to invite him to the ceremony, let alone nominate him for his roles. His box office collections had started seeing a decline. Even the media was increasingly writing negative stories about him, wondering whether America's blue-eyed hero is finally becoming the villian.

As months passed, an increased number of citizens were disgruntled by the lack of new videos and hence, lack of information on the site.

The final nail in ASP's coffin was Senator Yellowstone. One of the youngest senators to ever be elected, Senator Yellowstone was charming, intelligent and sharp. He understood the need for reforms in the governement and knew that change was inevitable in order for the country to progress. It was uncanny how Chris and Yellowstone agreed on multiple political issues. Both of them saw eye-to-eye when it came to the electoral college, voting and other issues. As a result, Yellowstone became one of the top contributors of ASP, always open to share a small video on the topics that mattered the most.

Chris would never forget the day when Yellowstone's rape scandal broke the news. He had been accused of rape and molestation by 43 teenagers. Apparently, as a part of his community outreach, Yellowstone ran a program wherein he would tutor and guide young females who would be interested to take part in politics in the near future. Chris had been impressed by the initiative and had supported Yellowstone. But, he did not know that Yellowstone was using the initiative as a front for his horrific crimes. That scandal destroyed Chris, professionally and personally. ASP finally shut down and all the studios cancelled their contracts with him. He was fired from his ongoing projects. While the court had acquitted Chris of all charges, the media still put him on trial everytime. He couldn't come to face the truth. He blamed himself for what happened to those poor girls. He could have been, should have been more careful in trusting people. But, Yellowstone's charm was such that he could charm the snake into shedding it's skin, and then sell it back to him.

Chris had publically apologized to all the victims and had discreetly offered to pay for their education. While some graciously accepted the offer, understanding that Chris had nothing to do with the scandal, a few others saw it as Chris' attempt to hide his 'alleged' involvement. They approached the media with this story and as expected, the next day his kind gesture was butchered, tainted as a 'cover-up fiasco' by the news outlets.

It had been a year since then. There were no new projects on Chris' desk. Most of the film industry was practising their distance, with only a few loyal friends sticking by his side. His social media accounts lay dormant. There were still a portion of his fans who stood by him, defending him on the internet, but there was a large number of people who even today thought he had to do something with the scandal and was to blame.

Everyday, his remorse ate him alive. Everyday, he felt himself slipping into the abyss and everyday, his motivation to try and reach out for help lessened. Everyday.

Chris' phone pulled him out of his reverie. He saw Scott's name on the screen, asking him to join the family for dinner. Chris looked at the untouched glass of whisky, deciding he was not hungry.

Not tonight.

#chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chrisevans #chris evans x india #angst #chris evans angst #a starting point #chris evans family #chris evans fic #chris evans fandom #oc appreciation day 2020 #OCs Are People Too

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 years

Photo

Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~

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1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!!

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!!

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???) But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now).

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future!

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously??

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol...

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess. I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol..

If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol.. T u T ;;

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!)

7. ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point.

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense?

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol?? And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two).

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc. I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.)

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas, but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it.

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc. ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions,

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol.

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** ***

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is )

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group.

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently -

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one!

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys...

#it bothers me still that I didn't take all the screenshots the same way and there's different colors of nu #mbers and etc. lol.... but some of those are from 4 months ago or more and I had already deleted the original ask #from my inbox so I can't go rescreencap it to match the others..#this is the issue inherent in taking so long to answer things that I just respond in large batches lol #replies #okay also I know it's been months but... one of you has to like this post or at least show you read/interacted with my #response somehow because I cannot spend like 4-5 hours typing stuff for others if nobody will read it ghghg #( i know i make it take longer by being rambly and etc. but.. still...)#I'm sorry they sat in my inbox a long time and etc. but... also..... my pwecious time and effort #i hope at least one of the people I'm responding to sees that i did indeed reply to them lol

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