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theythemsam · 5 years

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spn 9x08, liveblog, collected posts (all 21 of them) or as i like to call it: The Writers could not define consent if it non-consensually bit them in the butt TW: mentions of sexual assault

Sam still doesn’t seem to be healthy if he falls asleep on the kitchen table :(

#its like my batteries can’t recharge #SHUT UP!!!

Oh no, it’s the virginity group :(

#i was like: yup dragons sure thing #and then I saw the church and realized… its that episode… #and since its like 1am over here and I do love myself I will stop watching for now or ill have nightmares about dean being a creepy bastard… again

“I’ll be a squirrel in a skirt” asdfghj

Hmmmm, I find the talk about purity kinda interesting here

#like of course theres the whole Christian anti-sex idea but Sams reaction to it is fascinating! #especially since just last season he wanted to achieve purity through the trials… like this just feels very deliberate

Dean making fun of Sam’s trauma surrounding relationships

#i will end you little man

Dean very explicitly describing sex is so gross, especially in this setting

#again I repeat I will end you little man! #i had to skip his monologue bc it’s so over descriptive and shitty

Dean is such a creep!

#i hate him I hate him I hate him #the way he stops her from leaving and manipulates her into going with her is just so creepy #and especially since all hes thinking about is having sex with her #from the beginning that’s his number one goal #and by picking a woman who is not looking for that (shes a chastity counselor ffs) he shows he doesn’t really care about her choice

“her fiancé said: it didn’t count because it was under 30 seconds”

#a self burn…

The way the music immediately changes the second she takes of her sweater

#ahaha we looooove sexualizing women!!! #and deans just leering at her #i crave to die

Like she’s massively emotionally distraught, missing her friends and Dean’s like “Damn not gonna get laid now”

#what a jerk! What a twat! What a bastard!

Like he seriously just came there to get laid and now is pissed and upset that his plan of manipulation and lies didn’t work out…

#im going to kill him I swear #like hes just huffin and puffin and making a sad face and I just want to break his nose so badly

Oh cool, just started crying bc it upsets me so much

#the way dean finds her old porn tapes and is just awestruck #and the way its portrayed #just all of it makes me want to throw up and its seriously upsetting #like I already have so much trauma surrounding men it just sucks that media loves to portray shitty garbage men who overstep women’s boundaries like that as heroes #cool. That’s great. So good to see that behavior like that apparently is good and will get rewarded

He already sexualized her and now hes just so much worse

#fuck you dean fuck you dean fuck you dean

Imagine how she must feel. She invites a guy to her home to give him some books and instead of respecting her privacy he goes snooping through her things. And then… he brings up her past that he found out through /going through her things!/ and does not drop it even when she very expresses that this is in her past and not her now

#like why do the writers always feel like they have to write a scene with consent as dubious and murky as a puddle after a rainstorm #but sure he tells her that he loves her work and she definitely totally will fuck him #all of this is so creepy and disgusting and I hate it! #had to skip like a minute there bc it honestly made me want to throw up #cause all i can see is this very tall and strong dude pressuring a woman in her own home constantly moving closer and not shutting up about sex #like thats threatening. thats not sexy. thats terrifying.

Yup, Jody would totally assault a woman randomly, that’s so in character

And Suzy blames herself

#i hate this I hate this I hate this

Aaaand Sam gets knocked out again

#yiketh

“What’s wrong with you? Your liver it’s no good. Oh boy, you’re all duct tape and safety pins inside.”

#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #how are you alive?

“What if there’s something wrong with me? Something really wrong?” (…) “It’s more than that, Vesta said I was practically dead inside.”

#sam not trusting his own perception of his body and once more being reminded that theres something /wrong/ with him #like he was suicidally depressed just eight episodes ago so that’s definitely also still there #but hes never felt good about himself always had something to hate himself for #even as a kid and that just keeps going and going and going

“Or… this is just the way I am.”

#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #sam thinks theres something inherently wrong with him im gonna cry #i mean I am crying

Fuck you Zeke.

#of course he heavily manipulates Dean into not saying anything, dangling Sam’s life over him, but it’s still Sam’s life, he should get to choose!

#spn 9x08 #collections #hmmmm this episode triggered me worse than i thought it would #ahahahah #Yikes #me: this is gonna be fine - me the second dean looks at suzy: THIS IS NOT FINE #sam liveblogs

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realityhelixcreates · 5 years

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Lasabrjotr Chapter 34: Breaking News

Chapters: 34/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: Mentions of nudity. death, internet misogyny Relationships: Loki x Reader (Someday) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Reader, Thor, Brunnhilde, Heimdall Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Loki Has Some Telling Dreams, Loki Has Some Legitimate Fears, This Is Why People Have A Low Opinion Of Journalists These Days, Clickbait More Like Clickhate Amirite Summary: Fame can be particularly unpleasant

You stormed into the bathtub, naked as the day you were born, and the fury of you pushed him back against the wall. It was hard now to remember that you were mortal. Small. Helpless. It was hard to remember when you approached, wrapped in burning rage, like a force of nature. Thor could not help, for he too, was weak in the face of mortal women. Brunnhilde would not help, for she knew, as Loki now did, that he had made a terrible mistake. He looked to them for support anyway.

They were not there. There was only you and him, in a bath that seemed increasingly too small. The water lapped at your breasts as you splashed towards him. He had tried not to look, he had really tried. But you had demanded it. “Look at me!” You had snarled, and he had, and he remembered every inch of skin he had seen before your little fist had connected...

Not again. It wasn't that the strike had hurt exactly, he hadn't minded that. It was the anger, and the hurt underneath it. It was knowing that it was all because of how callous and thoughtless he had been, when he was supposed to be better than that.

“Look at me!” You demanded, and he did, resigned to what was to come. Your hand shot out and grasped the back of his head, fingers curling in his hair.

What?

In a single, smooth movement, you closed the last of the distance between you and him, sliding up against his body and capturing his mouth in a searing kiss.

His entire mind blanked, and he just stood, dumbfounded for a few moments, until everything caught up with him. Then he flung his arms around you, crushing you to his chest and returning the kiss with equal fervor.

Oh, this...this was so much better than being punched...

He poured passion into you, wanting more, more, more. It had been so long since he'd had this, and even then, it was with suspicion and apprehension hanging over him. But this felt so pure, so true. He didn't want to ever stop.

He kissed you ceaselessly until the water went cold around him, and even then, he didn't want to stop. But the cold was creeping up his body, so, so cold. Cold and...hard...

He drew back suddenly, to stare into your unblinking, rime-covered eyes. Your face, your body, rigid like a perfectly detailed statue.

Loki tried to leap away, shouting in horror, but the bathwater was solid, trapping him from the hips down. He flailed, the blue of his skin catching his eye.

Odin was there, perched on the tiles on the other side of the tub. He was saying something, but Loki could not hear over his own screaming.

He opened his eyes to the false night created by the hotels blackout curtains, immediately rushing to your bedside. You were breathing softly, slowly, and he almost thew his arms around you in relief, only drawing back at the last moment, for fear that you would freeze at his touch.

What was getting into him? First, out on the island, he had almost...done something before that bird had interrupted. Had he almost kissed you? Why? Why was he dreaming about it now, why was he craving something like that? Such things were not for him, surely he was still too busy, surely he was not meant for trivialities like romance. That must be what the dream was about. He was still too broken, too untrustworthy, too dangerous. It would only end in disaster.

At least it was now obvious that you didn't share all of his dreams. You slept peacefully, unaware of the warnings his mind was providing him. A warning. He should heed it. Banish all thoughts of soft affections and closeness. It was just a warning to keep his hands to himself.

He had been getting too comfortable by far. Holding your hand out in public, putting his arms around you, dancing with you. Crawling right into bed with you, the instant you allowed it of him! He even tried running to you for comfort after this nightmare, even though he was the one who was supposed to be protecting you! Even though he was the one who was a danger to you.

That dream was incredibly unfair. He had never once lost control over his form, not ever. Only the touch of another frost giant, or their magic, could force him to revert, otherwise, he had perfect control. He had kissed others, and not frozen them.

None of them had been mortal though. Or rather, none of them had been as weak and lowly as a human. So soft, so delicate. So fragile. So brief.

He paused a moment to regain control of his breathing. There was something so appealing about your vulnerability, especially since you lived your life as if mostly unaware of it. All humans did, despite being the most frail of the peoples in the Eight Realms.

Retreating to his bed, he settled down, but did not sleep, visions of forbidden intimacy swimming just behind his eyelids.

******

You awoke, well rested and fresh. What lovely dreams you'd had. Traveling the universe, bathed in blue light, like a fading star. Something was attempting to communicate with you, not in words, but in impressions. It showed you dozens of worlds, peoples, stars, and other wonders. You could visit all these places, it promised, you could see all these things and more. All you had to do was learn how.

Bolstered by that potential future, you greeted the morning, barely noticing how quickly Loki switched places with Saldis, neglecting to tease you at all. At least you now knew you didn't share all of your dreams with him, not that you would have minded sharing this one.

You went out for breakfast with Saldis and Borgliot, and showed off your new puffin charm, and the seeds you had bought at the botanical gardens. Both women cooed over the puffin, just as charmed by the silly birds as you were. Saldis showed you a patterned, wool sweater she had bought to bring back to Andsvarr and a box of salted licorice for herself, and Borgliot had a bottle of Brennivin and a pair of very nice hiking boots for her brother, whom she told you was trapped on Vanaheim. There were a lot of families that had been scattered that way, with family members offworld at the time of Ragnarok, who had no way now to return without the Bifrost.

“We two shall meet again, I am certain.” Borgliot said. “In time, the Bifrost shall be repaired, and restored to its former power. We hast only to wait.”

Borgliot had time. She was maybe a little younger than the king, just young enough to have missed being discovered by the Valkyries before their last flight. Plenty of time left to see the Bifrost returned to full strength. You might not though.

Shame that. You did want to explore space, just like in your dream, but unless there was some breakthrough in building it, the Bifrost would be no help.

Saldis and Borgliot were going home today, since the trial was over, and they were no longer needed. Thor was swamped with press, and meetings with the local authorities, but he and Brunnhilde planned on leaving tomorrow, if they could conclude all their business by the end of the day. That would leave you and Loki alone in the city for two days after that, if you wanted to stay.

There was still a waterfall to visit, and more whale watching to do. Plenty of museums to visit, plenty of history to learn. Surely you could fill two days with education.

You saw the girls off on their horses with many well-wishes on their return, then rejoined Loki and Thor before the latter had to run off to another meeting. Brunnhilde, however, had other plans for you, dragging you away with her to input numbers into your new phone.

******

Loki watched you go with some apprehension. The Valkyrie could be unpredictable as he was, and Loki was disinclined to fully trust anyone who reminded him of himself. Still, he was certain that she would not allow you to get yourself into any real trouble, and said nothing as the two of you left.

“So...” Thor said, a jovial tone in his voice that Loki recognized as meaning some kind of brotherly teasing was on its way.

“Yes?” He said testily, not really in the mood.

“You have been somewhat...indiscreet this week, don't you think?”

“I'm sure I have no idea what you mean.”

“Oh, well then, allow me to show you!”

Thor held out his phone with a majestic flourish. His newsfeed was clogged with article after article full of pictures; you and himself walking together, holding hands, eating meals, hugging, leaning on each other, just being together. Headlines speculated every possible thought, though most of them were centered on whether or not you were dating. There was one that showcased a picture taken of him carrying you in his arms, and leaping from the courthouse stairs. He looked terribly dashing to his own eyes. The headline shouted in bold text:

DEMON OR DISNEY PRINCE: Could the Controversial Prince of Asgard Have Rethought His Stance on Human Inferiority?

He snorted. Possibly. But it wasn't anybody's business but his.

Directly beneath that article was yet another-there were stacks and stacks of them-that featured you clinging to his arm with an unpleasant, clearly photoshopped expression.

HUSSIE OF THE MONTH: Supposed Victim Actually Shameless Social Climber? Pictured Here Brazenly Clutching The World's Most Eligible Villain!

“My, that one is unfriendly, isn't it?” Thor said, disapprovingly.

“I am not that eligible.” Loki protested.

“That's the part you're concerned about?”

“There's so many of them. They just go on and on; why are there so many? Look at this: 'Fantastic Frenemies? The Lady Doth Not Protest Too Much?' Ugh, 'Loki's Live-In Lady'? Look, this one calls her a doxie! How dare they publish that! Is there no oversight? I hope she hasn't seen these yet.”

“Uh, well...I'm pretty sure Brunnhilde was going to show her...”

“Oh no.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” You bellowed from where the Valkyrie had led you.

“Oh no.”

You stormed back up to him pointing at your new phone.

“Is this what you mean by PR?” You snapped. “I don't even recognize some of the words they're calling me!”

“I know, and I share your fury.” Loki assured. “I will find the addresses of these publishing houses, and I will utterly destroy them. No stone left atop another, I will raze them to the ground! I shall-”

“Loki!” Thor scolded.

“I shall write them a stern letter, detailing my disapproval!” Loki amended.

“It won't stop them.” You grumbled. “It's all clickbait, and it's all already out there. Once something's on the net, it's there forever. This is never going away.”

Loki placed his hands on your shoulders, leaning down to look you right in the face.

“Then we will do what those of us who are higher than they always do: ignore them. They are as ants to such as us, inconsequential and petty.”

You brushed his hands away. “That's easy for you to say, you aren't the one getting slut-shamed for no reason! Ugh! I need to take a walk or something.”

“Very well.” Loki said. “We can go-”

“I mean by myself.” You cut him off.

“My dear, I'm not sure that would be safe...”

“I just want some time to myself, is that too much? This shit is gonna spread like wildfire. By the end of the week, everyone's gonna see it. You get to be a prince, and I get to be a floozy. Great. I need to go stomp around a little. Meet me at the whale watching pier in a couple hours?”

“What? No, _____, I cannot advise-”

“See ya in a couple hours!” You stalked off, leaving him spluttering behind you. It was rude, and you knew it, but anger and distress burned through you, and you didn't want to take it out on him. Yeah, okay, Loki definitely had a bad reputation, but people weren't lambasting him sexually with no proof! You didn't need the added nonsense of dozens of news outlets accusing you of the same thing that murderer had!

So maybe you weren't a pure, untarnished virgin. But then again, as far as any of them knew, maybe you were! The point was, that it wasn't anybody's business but yours.

But they'd published it anyway, and were going to make a bunch of money off of it, and your dad, and Tara, and everyone you had ever known was going to see it, and so was everyone you hadn't even met yet. And it would inform their opinions of you, even if they didn't realize it, even if they tried not to let it.

And what would the people of Asgard make of it? You knew there were people there who already had a low opinion of you; you didn't want the general populace to get the impression that you were merely gold-digging trash.

“_____!” Someone called. “_____! You're _____, aren't you?”

You turned to face a small group of strangers, a few of whom you recognized from the courthouse steps. You drew back away from them. What did they want? Surely you couldn't have gotten yourself into danger so soon after blowing Loki off. That would just be embarrassing.

“Are you okay?” One of them, a young woman, asked. “Are you alone? Have you finally escaped the bastard? We can sneak you out, we think. Come with us, and we can get you home!”

Oh, they still thought Loki was some great, looming villain that you needed to be saved from. Well, it was several steps up from being threatened.

“It's...not that easy, you guys.” You said. It had been so long since you had spoken with someone who sounded like you, and these people at least seemed sympathetic.

“Has he threatened you? I'm sure there's somewhere you could go into hiding-”

“No, no, no, nothing like that. It's just that there's a lot going on, and I can't leave, I live here now-”

“And despite what you may have heard, I take very good care of her.” Loki said from directly behind you. He slid one hand smoothly over your shoulder, almost clutching, as the group of supportive protesters shrank away from him in fear.

“You wouldn't happen to have been following me while invisible, would you, your Highness?” You asked sourly.

You could practically feel his smugness falter, through the pressure of his hand.

“I might have.”

You tapped his fingers sharply, and he withdrew his hand.

“Just give me some time.” You entreated. He didn't say anything else, just walked back up the street with a barely perceptible hangdog expression.

“You can just...talk to him like that?” One of the terrified protesters whispered.

“Yeah, sometimes. He'll probably play some trick on me later, but it won't be so bad. Listen, you guys, there's been a lot of misunderstandings surrounding all this. C'mon, let's go talk about it...”

*****

Sofie put her phone away in disgust.

“Ugh! If I didn't need to ferry supplies back and forth, I might not ever go back to civilization!” She exclaimed.

“The pictures looked nice.” Frodi said. “They seem happy.”

“That only makes this disrespect worse.” Fritjof grumbled as Savane stirred their stew.

“Poor _____. She's really getting the worst of it.”

“She's an easier target.” Frodi pointed out. “She's not a god, and she's not threatening. There's nothing she can really do to get them to stop. Not that they've exactly spared Loki, but they can get really nasty at her expense.”

“Actually, I would like to speak with you about that.”

All four heads whipped around to face the unfamiliar voice, as Heimdall approached from behind the tents, the fire reflected in his eyes.

All four worshipers wordlessly moved aside to make room. With an appreciative nod, he took a seat.

“These gatherings are inevitable, and they are not unwelcome.” He began. “Truthfully, I find it flattering that any of you remember us at all, unreliable storytelling not withstanding. But even in the times of your distant ancestors, not everyone was welcoming of us. This hostility and confusion is nothing new.

The span of it, however, is. News traveled much more slowly in those days; there was more time to plan and prepare, to fortify ones position and allies. Now, there is less time for preparation, and people, including enemies, can move much more quickly from place to place. Your people could not fly, the last time I walked these lands. Now, you can traverse the whole of Midgard in mere days.

And now, entire camps of potential enemies have set up outside my city, motivated by hostility for one man, and confusion over one woman. I cannot look everywhere at once, and there are many things that currently require my attention.”

Frodi nodded. “And you want us to keep an eye out for potential trouble.”

“I want you to be wary of potential trouble.” Heimdall corrected. “I cannot advise that you enter into any kind of conflict. I do not believe that the majority of these people came here seeking violence, but that the minority who did might spread their influence if you are perceived as a threat. Eventually, there will be mingling. That too is inevitable. Welcome those who come to you, learn what you can. Many of these people do not truly understand the situation, and I cannot go explain to them myself without being seen as dangerous. It seems my presence stirs unease in much of humankind.”

This last was said with a pointed glance at Fritjof, who dropped his gaze.

“It might have to do with people having secrets, and you being able to see everything.” Savane pointed out bluntly. Fritjof and Sofie shot her quick glances.

“Probably.” Heimdall said, unperturbed. “Now, I am not conscripting you, and there is no reward I have the authority to offer, however, if these new people prove to be dangerous to your camp, I can move guards out here to patrol the borders.”

“That is very gracious. I'll inform the others. You too, Sofie.” Frodi stood, brushed himself off, and motioned for Sofie to follow. The two of them walked off into the camp, to visit the fires of others.

“Savane, I feel the soup could use some of your special spice blend.” Heimdall said.

“Yes, you see, that is exactly what I was speaking of earlier.” She said, but went back to her tent anyway.

“Fritjof, son of Jor, will you tell me why you set that tent on fire? You knew there was no one inside.”

“You saw.” Fritjof said apprehensively. “Of course you did. I believed its owner was the man who attacked Loki's seidkona, and I wanted him to have no shelter among us.”

“Decisive, but dangerous, don't you think?”

“If you saw me do it then you should know I had it completely under control.”

“And no one else knows? No one ever notices that your fire never goes out?”

“No. Will you tell them?”

“I will not. It is not mine to tell. But if you value your friends, you should inform them of what you are capable of. I do not believe that they will shun you for your difference. But then again, I was born to a people who value those with such special abilities.”

“I will think about it.” Fritjof said, but would not promise anything further. The thing that drove him out here in the first place, the thing that made him obsessed with blood and heritage, that thing was his own, and he did not trust it with anyone else.

*****

“-And she was so shy that it took her weeks just to hold my hand.” Todd was saying. A group of newcomers had gathered around his tent to hear his stories about the woman who was rapidly becoming legend.

“She's so sweet and innocent. I really worry about what that alien has been putting her through.”

“Why didn't you follow her to the city?” Someone asked.

“Oh, I'm no match for a horse's speed.” Todd admitted. “And she's doing something important there, that shouldn't be interrupted. Did you know someone actually tried to kill her? It's terrible! That never happened back home. She's gotta go witness at his trial, and I hope they put him away for good.”

“I wonder if it was one of those fanatic at the other camp?” Someone else mused. “They're creepy. You know they actually think these people are real, literal gods?”

“Yeah, it's a little weird. Don't know why you'd wanna worship someone like Loki. Thor, maybe, he seems like a decent dude, but he's definitely flesh and blood, not a god. Just an alien. This is like some Fifties pulp novel: Aliens Stole My Girl! Poor _____. She's got to be so confused.”

“Hey dude.” Said another camper, who had heard Todd's lament more than a few times. “If she's your girl, then what's all this?” She handed Todd her phone, and he scrolled down through all the articles that had made you so distressed, outrage plain on his face.

“This is bullshit.” He declared. “Whoever those reporters are, they sure don't know _____! She isn't like that at all. But him-oh, we all know what a liar and manipulator he is! He's definitely deceiving her; she's just kind and naive enough to be twisted around by him.”

“I bet he's using her just to make himself look good.” One of them said.

“Well, don't fall for it.” The other camper answered, taking her phone back. “He's still the same bastard he's always been. You don't just stop being a power hungry lunatic overnight. No matter how harmless or friendly he might seem right now, it's all part of a plan. If he was really serious about not being Earth's enemy, he'd have turned himself in to justice, or make reparations to the cities he terrorized, or even issued some kind of apology! He hasn't done any of that, and he doesn't intend to! He thinks if he just waits long enough, it'll all go away, and he can just do whatever he wants with impunity! He kidnapped a woman from her workplace and put her in harms way. No amount of cute pictures can change that. Never forget what he's done! Never forget! Never forget!”

The cry went up, a chorus audible from the gates of the city.

#loki x reader #loki (marvel)#thor (marvel)#brunnhilde (marvel)#valkyrie (marvel)#Heimdall (Marvel)#marvel fanfiction

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sluttyratman · 3 years

Note

Don't drAw me Anything,just Answer

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Fiendin' for some pussy 'cause I need me a shawty

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I can be your [n word] but you can be my shawty

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Fiendin' for some pussy 'cause I need me a shawty

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I can be your [n word] but you can be my shawty

You say you need a [n word]

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Not the one to eat your thing

I leave that to your lucious, lunch box, cocksucker for free

But if you keep it on the low-low, I'm a hurt if you don't know

You can keep the cock in it for me

Shit, if you don't give a damn if we, I'm a bring the whole family

[Unverified] the house of Girbauds

Eighteen, [unverified], Giaminar [unverified]

Run a train, make the pussy pop afar, bring it on

Hey shawty, shawty, shawty, shawty

Fiendin' for some pussy 'cause I need me a shawty

Shawty, shawty, shawty, shawty

I can be your [n word] but you can be my shawty

Shawty, shawty, shawty, shawty

Fiendin' for some pussy 'cause I need me a shawty

Shawty, shawty, shawty, shawty

I can be your [n word] but you can be my shawty

#i finally get to use my secret weapon #hey shawty

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portraitproject250 · 7 years

Photo

This is Anneli. I think rather than try to write a story here about Anneli I will simply copy and paste one of her Facebook posts here. She's a painter, activist, mom, graphic designer, adventurer, writer and all around great person to know. I loved hanging out with her and painting her portrait. We actually collaborated on this one. I painted in pencil and watercolor and left it for her to work on. Then she painted in the background with oils. She dropped it off yesterday and I photographed it and continued working on it some more in Artrage 5, a digital painting software.

This story by Anneli comes from an adventure she took last year with her friend, Jonathan, traveling from Maine to Iceland on a container ship.

Day 5, Friday | Amuse-Bouche

We left Newfoundland last night after 12 hours loading, unloading, and fueling up before our ocean crossing. It took us about 3 days to get there from Portland, Maine. I had really big plans to write an entry every day, but have now realized I will just have to write when I have the opportunity. Mainly because I can no longer remember what day it is, and just to further mess with us they keep pushing the clock forward a half or a whole hour every day.

Argentia, Newfoundland is a small Canadian port out in nowhere, far east at the edge of the ocean. We woke up yesterday morning to see a landscape out our window that was reminiscent of Lofoten, Norway, with its dramatic and exaggerated mountains. There were people on small skiffs cruising the bay picking off puffins with rifles before scooping them into nets. FYI: Up here, guns don’t kill puffins — men and women in black ski masks kill puffins. The port was literally a concrete dock with a few small buildings and pretty much nothing else. No stores, restaurants, shops — it is about as functional as it gets. So much for tax-free shopping — not that we need anything.

Since we started on this trip, Jonathan and I have been literally and figuratively stunned by the amount of hearty food we’ve been served. Not just some Cheerios from a box, either — serious, home-cooked, no-bullshit hot meals at 8:00, 12:00, 18:00 — and for good measure there is some sort of baked pastries and coffee at 15:00 just in case the other three meals aren’t enough to give you cardiac arrest. If you have a problem with gluten, meat, or sugar — this trip is decidedly not for you.

Yesterday everyone had their hot breakfast as usual and suited up to go out and do their respective jobs. This was really the first time we had an opportunity to see them in action as they secured Selfoss to the shore and started a long, hard day juggling massive containers on and off the ship, in a snow shower no less. One thing is increasingly apparent: this is no work for pussies. The alcohol ban on board makes a lot more sense when you understand what a detail oriented job this is. Mistakes can result in huge losses, not only in profit but in lives. Precision and safety are everything.

Knowing this, our meals make more sense as well. Hearty traditional food for hard work — but it also it means important downtime for the crew. Something steady, dependable and enjoyable. A family meal of sorts where everyone gathers for their food. And arguably a nice reward for not dropping a container on someone. The food is the social connection, along with hanging out in the smoking room. Kalli tells me that the “smoking room” is a newer concept, that smoking used to be an important social connection between all the crew onboard, a common pastime that has been somewhat toned down by the designation of a specific area for this activity.

“I guess I need to start smoking,” I tell Kalli. I’ve probably smoked a half a pack since the beginning of the trip in second-hand smoke alone.

He shrugs, “It’s never too late to start.”

Just a few days ago, still somewhat full from some delicious hot lunch only a few hours earlier, I’m working in our cabin when Captain Kalli comes by. Jonathan is presumably hanging off the ship somewhere like a squirrel with his GoPro.

“There’s a special surprise for coffee time today,” he says.

Naturally, I’m delighted at this unexpected news. I love surprises.

“Where is Jonathan? There’s a surprise for him, too,” he continues.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s still on the ship. Hopefully.”

Excited by the prospect of a surprise, I scurry down to the mess room and am met by Jona, the only female crew member. She is holding a plate for me. The anticipation is palpable.

A cream puff! Who doesn’t love cream puffs? A cream puff shaped like a…

A chocolate covered penis cream puff.

I burst out laughing. Jona is visibly pleased.

“I made these for you,” she says, proudly. “Here’s one for Jonathan,” she shows me the plate with a pair of beautifully formed, perky breasts.

Jonathan is not yet here and has no idea that a spectacular set of boobies are waiting for him along with some delicious cocoa.

“You are an artist, Jona.”

I’m about one coconut sprinkled testicle in when Jonathan shows up and receives his plate, somewhat dumbfounded. He clearly wasn’t expecting this either.

“You get the boobs,” I say matter-of-factly in-between a mouth full of balls. There really is no proper etiquette for eating these sorts of things.

I look around and can confirm that everyone else has normal cream puffs. I am at once honored and flattered. After eating the lamb testicles in aspic a few days ago, I feel that this is some sort of reward. We’re officially in now. Phallic karma.

Done with my cream puff, and after a few highly inappropriate comments about the pastry that I won’t mention here, I head for the smoking room.

I think I need a cigarette.

#watercolor #painting #oil on canvas #oilpainting #oil #art #artists on tumblr #artistsoninstagram #artrage #artrage 5 #pencil #drawing #portrait #PortraitProject #portraitprojectlive

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life-in-a-labrynth · 4 years

Text

Kinda drunk right now but I feel like spilling out my feelings that have built up, I mean why the hell not? I found myself in the nth moment of feeling disturbed and afraid and hugging my elbows just a minute ago. I don’t think I’ll go all into why I’m disturbed but let’s at least give an update, yeah?

Okay so this might be an interesting dynamic but in my last post I was worrying about whether this girl Laura was basic or not. Okay let’s be a little kinder and say, whether we’re compatible. So I finally went on a real goddamn date with her and guess what? she fat. That whole “average weight” thing on okcupid was a sham. She just set her profile up a couple days before she met me (purportedly) too, so okay, guess she’s a liar or in denial. And ya know, sorry to be a hardass about the weight/looks thing, but you know, it’s important to me to be physically attracted to someone, okay? And what does it say that she’s deceitful about that?

In any case, more I wanted to unpack. So now I went on a date and yeah, she fat, and I thought about how we had the phone call and after it was over I felt kinda meh, because it didn’t feel like she stimulated my brain. She talked about this and that and yeah that’s cool and all, but she just didn’t seem to be operating on a high octane teh brain galaxy bullshit that I wanted. And yeah, hate to say it, but Dawn. I remember having a convo with Dawn about Game of Thrones and Martin’s method as a writer and how a character of his had felt ambivalent and even resentful about having a son and it was a good fucking conversation. I didn’t have that with Laura.

Should have gone with my instincts and not second-guessed myself. I wanted to believe that I was just bullshitting myself and this could be something good, can’t I just accept a good thing? Maybe I’m being overly critical, like Dawn was with me.

But eh, nah, not really. Look Dan, you’ll *know* when you feel thunderstruck. Kayla had better convos with you about politics. Laura didn’t even talk about politics, just a bunch of halloween bullshit and serial killers and blah blah and I guess we had some good conversations but it just didn’t stimulate me and make me think like some of the others did.

Like for christ’s sake, look at... I can’t remember her name, but we went for a walk in Wissahickon and I felt like we had really good conversations about racism and maybe I was blowing a lot of fucking hot air about Jonathon Haidt and she probably thought I was an obnoxious, droning goober, but damn it, it felt fulfilling! That girl didn’t feel basic. Maybe I was an obnoxious, droning goober, but I had the opportunity to be, because the conversation organically went to interesting political topics, not some other bullshit about whatever Laura was talking to me about.

And so yeah, it felt pretty decent to talk to Laura for 4 hours on the phone, but it just didn’t fulfill me the way that talking with Lis did, who on our first date, we talked for 6 fucking hours. For the love of god, why did I fuck that up? Ugghh... it was probably the right decision, I shouldn’t let my own loneliness get in the way of things. I shouldn’t regret a decision I made when I wanted so much and tried hard in good faith to make things work with Lis. But it just wasn’t natural. It’s not that I didn’t want it, it’s that it wasn’t working.

Okay, anyway. So I had the date with Laura and the moment I dropped into her car and set eyes on her I thought “oh no, nah, sorry, this ain’t gonna work.” We had a nice date and we chatted and ate french fries and mozzarella sticks and talked about serial killers and whatever other nonsense. I brought up free will on a concept but she didn’t really engage with it, bleh.

So yeah, okay, fine. It’s mean to say, but yeah, sure. Basic. That’s what she is. Good on her for going into nursing and trying really hard at it and getting good grades, though (yeah, she hasn’t even started nursing school yet bleguk lol) but whatever, stop judging you asshole.

Sigh. Okay. Sorry. Let’s get back on track. So I said soiya to her and she was cool with it. I felt kinda bad because I could see she was disappointed when I told her that I didn’t think we had a romantic future together, but she took it fine and said she hoped I found what I’m looking for.

And but so that ended, and I did what I always do and hit up dating websites and probably try way too hard. Hey Dan, try Tawkify, The Elite (or whatever the fuck it’s called) and Hinge next, because at this point it just feels like you’ve exhausted the possibilities on the other sites.

Tinder: no one’s fucking responding, except the one girl who was just a few messages.

OKC: same, except literally no one is responding. Why did they like my profile to begin with??

Bumble: Same exact thing. Matched with 4 women, extended all 4 of them, nothing. Messaged some other girl I had chatted a bit with, nothing. Messaged some other girl who said before she wanted to meet up with things felt “safe-ish”, but truthfully it’s been like 5 months so whatever, that’s fine and makes sense, but all the same, nothing.

idk OKC has always been a pretty good source to meet women but it’s just low, low, low quality these days. Like 14 out of 15 women who like my profile aren’t attractive, let alone that 90% of the rest just sound basic. Probably higher, like 99%. When was the last time that I felt thunderstruck? With Gina. But she was kinda crappy at convo, like she wasn’t even trying.

It’s all so frustrating and disheartening. I feel like there was more I was going to say. About how I became way less forgiving towards Laura after I found out she was fat. I was glad to slip into the conversation, organically, that sometimes people don’t look the way they do in profile pictures. I hope she took that to heart. Don’t put “average” weight in your profile when you’re a good 20 pounds overweight, honey.

Sigh. I’m sorry to be a dick, it’s just annoying. I wouldn’t normally care but she insisted upon chatting for a week before meeting up. Maybe she was apprehensive simply because she was insecure about the way she looked. Hey hon, a week won’t make a fucking difference. You were nice to talk to, but if you’re a heffer, it ain’t happening.

I’m sorry, this is so mean. But god damn it... like that’s the exact reason I told her that meeting face-to-face soon was convenient. I told her that’s the best way to determine whether there’s chemistry. I feel like a dick but I hope she’s learned something from that. Oh well. At least it’s not like with Adrienne, where I was totally god damn into her and she was smart and beautiful and face-to-face was just as wonderful as text messages, and... ghosted!

At least I wasn’t just another asshole who ghosted Laura. I was straightforward. I would never ghost someone, but it’s unusual that at the end of the date, if I’m not feeling it, I’ll outright say it. But Laura told me how important it was that people be honest, so I’m happy to have been able to give that to her, and not chicken out and wait until the next day to text and say I wasn’t feeling it. Or to kid myself into saying “well i just need another day to figure it out lol” when I knew very well that with whatserface (the one where we hung out and drank beer by schyulkill river and then went and got pizza afterwards) where I said “um idk lol lemme think about it” then texted her the next day to tell her I wasn’t interested.

Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. At least you’re keeping an open mind. Not saying No outright.

Blah, meh, whatever. I think I already said that dumbass Mary finally got back to me to say “omg i’m liek so teh sorryz!!!11 I felt overwhelmed by whatever the fuck and consequently shut down and didn’t look at my phone at all!!!11″ So fucking dumb. You knew I texted you stupid bitch, don’t lie and say “well liek i mean lieko mg i just liek didn’t check my phone and didnt know u texted!!11″

But props to her to admitting that she needs to grow up. That couldn’t have been easy to admit. So I need to have grace with her. She admitted that she didn’t have a good excuse. So I had no reason to eviscerate her. I just said “Sure. Take care.” At least she felt bad. At least she was self-aware. At least she had the strength to come back and apologize and admit that she was wrong. I give her props for that, and so probably shouldn’t be so angry, but whatever, by the time that dumbass texted I was already over it.

Okay and so what now? This is weird but okay fine I’ll admit it. What sparked me to come onto here was because I had a few drinks and I cheated and bought another pouch of tobacco, bad Dan! How are you supposed to git gud at kickboxing if I’m a huffin-and-a-puffin all over the place? But I feel good because I got praise from the guy I partnered with at muay thai and I think I did a good job with him, and my knee-throwing is getting better! Hurray for me!

Okay and but so sorry, so the reason I came here was because I was drinking and smoking and watching Jonathon Haidt and Malcolm Gladwell and the roundtable was fantastic and then I started drinking and I was talking to this cunt on tinder who decided to stop messaging back after literally two messages (I fucking hate people), then I got sad and insecure and watched a couple episodes of Cowboy Bebop (almost done with the series)

Sorry to ramble on and fucking itemize everything I did this night, it’s so trivial and tedious to the reader but whatever, I don’t care. So I did all that and was feeling tired and decided to go back up to bed and thought of my shaven testicles and maybe fondled them without realizing it or maybe I just got horny, whatever

So then I came upstair sand I was going to masturbate and a common thought came to me and it’s been stronger lately, where I get scared. I’m scared about what I masturbate to. And even though it’s never really happened... I mean, not really... I don’t think? But I became afraid that I’ll become too addicted to what I masturbate to and won’t be able to have a meaningful sexual relaitonship when I do eventulaly get into a romantic relationship.

I don’t want to get hooked on certain sexual thoughts and have to use them when I’m doing the deed. Like I don’t want to have to be sleeping with a woman and start fantasizing about something else to achieve orgasm. This is scummy, but I don’t want to have to be getting my dick sucked by some smart and interesting and sorta cute but fat girl and be fantasizing about how she’s only doing it because she wants me to like her, like we’re on a date, first date, and she’s sucking my dick and it feels amazing but to push myself over the edge I had to give a voice to her thoughts

And the voice is “okay, this guy is really hot, I want him to like me, first impressions and all, I need to suck his dick really good. I don’t particularly like it, but you gotta do what you gotta do.”

RIGHT NOW. I’M GETTING A BONER RIGHT NOW AS I THINK OF IT. Then part of me wishes I saved her pictures so I could look at them again and remember her and think about her sucking my dick and get off on how maybe.. I mean probably not but what if that’s what was really going through her mind?

She was really sex-positive and communicative and awesome, and I was giving, and it seems like I mean she obviously enjoyed it when I licked her pussy and got her off, and it was kind aweird becaus eshe said that she came and the first time I didn’t beilev eher because it seemed really low intensity, almost an afterthought, “yeah I came”, and I jsut figured “well I guess she wasn’t that into it and didn’t want to keep at it, or maybe she was insecure, or this or that, but this whole ‘i came’ thing is a lie, she just wanted to move on and spare my ego.”

But then we went at it again the second date and she supposedly came twice and this time I outright said “are you sure?” and she kinda chuckled and she said “yeah, I think I’d know”, and so I believed her, she seemed sincere. Micro-orgasm, maybe, or maybe she’s just not super reactive/performative/exaggerated about her orgasms, I mean that’s prefectly possible, it was just weird, like I just had this powerful and irrefutable notion that she was faking

Wahtever, I don’t kven know why I’m still talking aoubt it. This all started beacuse I said that I felt bad about the things I masturbat eto. I think maybe I was molested. I think maybe I nede to see a sex therapist and it’s really strange and I don’t know. So and then like maybe I need to um like I don’t know but so maybe I can hit up Collette and se eif she has any colleagus I can talk to.

idk man but I had fantasiez about me seeing Collette and her giving me “sex therapy” and tehy were super sexy at the time, kinda sad and disappointed that those powerful fantasies didn’t last, the way that the ones with Lis do, they just keep coming, she’s the second fucking sexual partner I’ve had where I’ll consturuct all these elaborate fantasies about nonconsensual sex (or barely-consensual, no pun intended) and write literally dozens of pages about all these situations they get into about being humiliated and degraded, these sexcapades where they don’t want to be slutting themselves out and sucking all this dick but they hav eno choice because they’nve being blackmalied

God I’m such a fucked up person. I know I Shouldn’t be ashamed of nfantazies, isn’t that a truism now? No kick-shaming? lol kink-smaming. DAMN IT .Kink. Shaming. So anyway, yeah, I know, that’s the montra, and I know that people will know that but not take it to heart beacuse a lot o people are ashamed of their sexual fantasies. There are even women who hav fentasies about non-consensual sex and forced gang-bangs and shit like that, thank you to kink.com for showcasing some of these porn actresses who rae getting interviewed and telling their fantasies.

Hey bruh it don’t make no difference whether the scene I see is also their fantasie, not in particular, but knowing that some women fantasize about such evil, rapey things also exist and make me feel less bad about degrading women in my own fantasies.

Things are really strange and I love porn and porn star sand they’re super sexy and I shouldn’t be masturbating so much to them lmao literally I hav eno idea what i’m even talknig about anmyroe ,my mind just keeps gkinda going to lunch, I mean I Don’t think I’m more drunk than I was when I started this entry? Just giving less a fuck, but definitely more tired, I def feel tired now, I feel strange and sad and I want s’ much to fucking meet the love of my life but I can’t do it but whatever. I’ll probably beat off about Jackie (hell Dan write a story about her!) but maybe and maybe not but I’m just really fucking tired.

Goodnight.

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anneedmonds · 4 years

Text

My Ultimate (Thoughtful, Easy and Widely Available) Christmas Gift

AD: not sponsored or paid-for. Contains gifted press samples (chocolate) and affiliate links are marked *.

We’re revisiting a post that I (kind of) did a few years ago, really, but it’s a good one and so it deserves another airing. Because this post may just save your Christmas Bacon, if you’ve left present-buying until the last minute and/or have no clue what to buy people and/or don’t want to spend a fortune on absolute tat that people will hate and/or re-gift.

It is – quite frankly – a genius idea, this one, but I’m sure I can’t take credit for it because it’s so simple that a million people probably posted about it before me. The fundamental equation behind this gift idea is:

Good Book + Excellent Chocolate = Ultimate Christmas Experience

Give someone a brilliant read and something to munch on whilst they read it and you’ve pretty much sorted their holiday. The bonus for you is that you can order books right up until the last minute (or get them at the supermarket) and the chocolate is reasonably widely available, depending on which of the fancy and niche brands you plump for.

Which is important. Because there are caveats to this genius solve-all gifting idea, after all. The first is that the chocolate must be fine, interesting, artisanal or unusual – to elevate it above the Dairy Milk level – and the second is that the book must have a good cover. Be it vintage Penguin or classic Puffin or whatever other bird you can think of. Luckily publishers put a lot of thought into covers and so your job here is quite easy.

Read: Beautiful Books that Won’t Break The Bank

And before you all shout in defence of Dairy Milk, I love Dairy Milk, but for this gift to work then it can’t be just any old normal chocolate bar thrown in to the shopping trolley – the bars in this feature are all exquisitely made with the finest ingredients and truly are, for want of a less cringe term, a taste sensation. (Liberty is a treasure trove of pretty and quirky chocolates – find them all here* – and they helped massively with sourcing good-looking bars for this feature, so thank you Liberty!)

The selection of books I’ve chosen should offer up something for everyone (apart from kids) and there are a few suggestions, such as The Bees, for example, that are relatively obscure and could be a safe bet for those who are hard to please.

I have listed a load of books ‘n’ chocolate combos below, with pictures so that you can admire my supreme books ‘n’ chocolate styling prowess. Hopefully it’ll give you some idea as to what the hell I’m on about. Wrapping these little delightful parcels needn’t be a stress either – get yourself a load of eco-friendly, plain brown paper and you’re sorted. Add nice ribbons that can be reused by the recipient and Bob’s your Uncle.

Read: Six Good-Looking Emergency Books

There’s (believe it or not) a video that goes with this post. Or perhaps this is the post that goes with the video – either way, I’ve managed to eke out an unbelievable amount of content from what it basically the world’s most simple gift idea. It’s a bit Pippa’s Tips (sure I said that last time) but sometimes you need to be reminded of the basic things in life…

Little Women (Puffin in Bloom edition) £9.99 here* + Pana Mint Chocolate (raw, vegan), £3.20 here. A beautiful chunk of a collector’s edition book with a raw and minty bar to chomp on. What a pretty pairing!

Wolf Hall £5.94 here* + Pana Coconut & Goji Chocolate (raw, vegan) £3.20 here. Particularly pleased with this combo, for some reason – and this is the book to buy a voracious reader who hasn’t yet unearthed the delights of Hilary Mantel.

My Sister, The Serial Killer, £6.20 here* + Sour Cherries Chocolate, £4.95 here – one of the books of the year all wrapped up with a bar of finest dark chocolate, studded with dried cherries.

Pretty Iconic, £11.89 here* + Chabonnel & Walker Dark Chocolate Bar, £6.95 here* – glorious, velvety dark chocolate and one of the best beauty books you’ll find.

Ooh, I’m starting to feel like Willy Wonka with all of these chocolate descriptions!

The Handmaid’s Tale, £6 here* + Pana Chocolate Rose, £4.95 here* – the brutal modern classic that’s worryingly astute and a rose-oil infused chocolate bar that should hopefully salve the soul somewhat…

Girl, Woman, Other, £10.64 here* + Chocolate Society Salted Caramel, £4.95 here – this year’s well-deserved Booker prize winner and a brightly-wrapped bar that contrasts with the cover. Two knockout gifts for just over fifteen pounds.

(Has my Book + Chocolate messaging sunk in yet?!)

Persuasion, £12.59 here*+Rococo Violet Dark Chocolate, £5.50 here* – the most delightful edition of Jane Austen’s classic and an equally classic chocolate to accompany it.

The Bees, £5.84 here* + Love Cocoa Honeycomb Chocolate, £4.50 here* – I won’t lie, I’m thrilled with this combo. Not only is the book really quite unique (a darkly thrilling novel from a bee’s narrative perspective, anyone?) I’ve carried the theme through into the accompanying sweet treat. Feel free to applaud.

Made In India, £12.71 here* + Creighton’s Imperial Chilli, £4.95 here* – Meera Sodha writes the best Indian cook books. The recipes are just so fresh and delicious, I highly recommend. The book covers are also giftworthy in themselves, like art posters!

Any Human Heart, £4.49 here* + Creighton’s Pink Gin Bar, £4.50 here – the cover of William Boyd’s wonderful novel is identical in colour to Creighton’s Pink Gin chocolate bar. I just couldn’t resist putting these together – in fact, I think this was one of the book-n-choc pairs that sparked off my need to revisit the whole idea!

My Thoughts Exactly, £5.64 here* + Creighton’s Maple Bacon, £3.95 here* – a slightly offbeat little hook-up here, but I thought that it was well suited. Lily Allen (author of the autobiography hidden behind the bar!) has never been known for towing the line or fading into the background, so I’ve chosen an appropriately unexpected chocolate flavour. Not for everyone, admittedly, but it would certainly be a conversation starter!

Testaments, £10 here* + Sour Cherries (as before) – another colour-block combo, but oh so pleasing. Don’t you think? Again, a striking cover that is almost a gift in itself and then the sour cherries rising up above the parapet once more. Under his eye!

The Hours, £5.99 here* + Pump Street Gingerbread Chocolate, £7.95 here*. One of the pricier chocolates, but at least I’ve popped it in with one of the cheaper paperback books! And this novel by Michael Cunningham is an absolute literary treat – a Pulitzer winner and a weave of stories that’ll stay with you for life.

I, Robot, £10 here* + Salted Caramel Chocolate (as before) – a book I never thought in a million years I’d be featuring, but I read a sample of it and thought that it was brilliant. Witty, self-deprecating but in all of the right amounts. I genuinely have this on my bedside table on my book pile! I don’t even like football. Plenty do, however, which makes this a bit of a no-brainer. The cover doesn’t quite meet my strict criteria but this is the wildcard…

For more book suggestions there’s a whole category here on the website – just click here and all book posts will come up as a listing!

The post My Ultimate (Thoughtful, Easy and Widely Available) Christmas Gift appeared first on A Model Recommends.

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s3venpounds · 5 years

Note

1-64. 65 What is the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

65 questionsssssssssss yeeeeeeeeee boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii letsss fucking goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thanks for the ask btw! also sorry for late reply

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

honestly sometimes, the whole “ life is a simulation” got me kinda scared ya never know

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. because im not afraid of the dark im afraid of what can be in it that im not aware of

3. The person you would never want to meet?

idk. cuz if i say someone i hate then i can’t physically meet them to punch them

4. What is your favorite word?

love

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

idk whichever lives for millions of years i wanna be like those giant ass trees that you see in animes that are like whole cities wide

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

should i finally cut my hair? or do i perservere

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my ed sheeran concert shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

someone with the capacity of good but chooses to be an asshole

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

seeing if my new friends were playing games so i can join

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

off the top of my head? my mom pretty sure.

13. Your worst enemy?

myself, my fears, hesitation and past mistakes?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

its a picture of hinata shoyo from Haikyuu!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

15. Do you like someone?

yes.

16. The last song you listened to?

Jacob Lee Slip

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

trump

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

trump. and i want like brass knuckles when i punch.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

probably a volleyball coach/ trainer or a professional volleyball player to just drill basics into me and make me a better player. (that or just gal gadot to like help me clean up my life and give me life advice)

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

i guess my energy? its a fucking mess though cuz sometimes i get tired after like 4 minutes of activity but then sometimes i get like a second wind and i just go for hours

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

i mean there was that snapchat trend of every guy making a female version of themselves so i guess theres that. i would definitely try anything i could. periods, cramps, catcalls, masturbating anything i could so i truly understand what women have to go through every day of their lives

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

im a very open person so most of my obscure talents are known but i am kinda proud of how i can name pokemon by just hearing their cries limited to like the first 3 generations tho lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

what happens after we die

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

i wanna make the most bougie sandwich in the world. I want abelone, puffin, black truffle, caviar, just all that super high end shit

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

save it. im going on a trip somewhere out of the city and i could use the extra pocket money

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

venice italy. no question.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

oh shit booze! i love me some booze! i guess it would have to be like smirnoff kissed caramel vodka, or this one whiskey i saw a video of irish people drinking american whiskeys

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

dont be a fucking dickhead idk. i can’t make concrete rules cuz theres loopholes

29. What is your favorite expletive?

definitely fuck just because i say it more than actual normal words

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

haha “loved ones” lmao. oh uhhh my letters from D.O when we were kids. that or my journal

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my dads abuse. oh wait no then thats free forgiveness for him lmao no uhhh one of my past relationships. it was a mess and i still struggle a little with it

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Venice italy. that or greece or rome idk. i really like their aesthetic with small white houses, small walkways and all that

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Steve irwin or Robin williams. or just to make a couple people near me happy, Kyle Fundytus

34. What was your last dream about?

uhhh I kissed the person I’m currently interested in. not just a normal dream too I felt everything. it was crazy. Felt, their hands, warmth, lips, body against mine and even their skin it was just magical.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

boyfriend? honestly? idk. i’d like to think that i am but from what I know apparently im not

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yes and no? i guess? i had one of those shots you give to enfants when their family is moving to a new country and i still have the scar so possibly? i mean technically any baby born in a hospital has been admitted to one lmao

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

YES AND SOME OLDER KIDS BROKE IT DOWN AND USED IT AS A BENCH . I fought them and got sent tot he principals office

38. What is the color of your socks?

im not wearing any.... but i do have a favourite pair of green ones that have a print of pringles sour cream n onion on it!

39. What type of music do you like?

Jazz, big band, kpop, RNB, rap, rock, swing music, electro...? sort of?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

i can’t choose, I love both and have fond memories of both

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Vanilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maybe some caramel in it

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

uhh i dont know much about football but i can say i would support my local team edmonton eskimos

43. Do you have any scars?

a ton! i love em! its like the sentimental stuff i keep in my closet but on my body and i always trace my finger over them whenever im just in the mood to reminisce

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

im not currently taking the courses i need to get my dream job but i’d love to be a power ranger either the stunt double or the cheesy actor. that or a school councilor

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

how dependant i am on others. i hate it. if i was alone i dont think i’d survive. i need other people

46. Are you reliable?

I like to think that i am though again, you’d have to ask my friends

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Did you find her?

48. Do you hold grudges?

hell.yes. if you couldnt tell i reallllllllllly hate my dad. like really.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

whatever animals it takes to make dragons a thing again

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I would have to say when this random stranger came up to me to complain about the transit system because the one in vancouver was so much better apparently. dude went on a 20 minute rant and i just drowned him out with music and pretended to “pause” my music while nodding like i understood

51. Are you a good liar?

not sure. I think i am considering my parents dont know half the shit i did AHEHEHEHE

52. How long could you go without talking?

couple days. long as i got my music.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

god there was this one christmas where my parents gave me like a stereotypical suburban kid hair cut where the whole head is like flattened with hair gel the at the forehead its just a tall wall of spiked hair. BUT HERES THE KICKER. they dyed half the wall red and half green for christmas. god it was awful

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

does cheesecake cupcakes count?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

ive been told i can do a good russian one, chinese too

56. What do you like on your toast?

nutella omg. fresh toast with gooey nutella? god its so good

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

uhmmm some secret stuff for a friends personal project

58. What would be you dream car?

Dodge Viper

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I love singing in the shower when no ones home. I can only sing when no ones home cuz the walls in this house are thin AS FUCK.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i believe we’re not the only ones out here but due to how we’re literally killing our own kind and planet for no good reason they choose to ignore us

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yep! all the time! whenever i get my hands on the local paper i read my horoscope while i wait on the train or if theres a horoscope thing on tumblr!

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

X idk x is just cool

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons are you kidding me? dragons are dinosaurs that can fly. AND BREATHE FIRE

64. What do you think about babies?

I dont think im a good father figure but spending time with kids is a pretty okay time for me long as its not long term lmao

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

What is the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

I punched them full force in the stomach for calling me emo. it was a bad day but lo and behold that person became my best friend loooooooooooool

#ask me shit #this was fun #do some moreeeeeeeee

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casscutting · 6 years

Text

Book Haul

I got all these books for a grand total of $6.50 and one book was purchased for me by a very good friend of mine who also happens to be my critique partner.

Book One: House By Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker

Publication Information: Published in March of 2006 by West Bow Press which is an imprint of Thomas Nelson Publishers

Book Summary: Jack and Stephanie Singleton, a married couple on the verge of a divorce, are driving to a counseling session when they find themselves lost on a deserted road in Alabama. Taking the advice of a highway patrolman, they head down a long dirt road, where they run over spikes, flattening all of their tires and stranding them. Fortunately, they are near an old Victorian house in the backwoods of Alabama, occupied by a family of three and being used as an inn. They check-in and have a strangely mysterious dinner with them, as well as another dating couple, Randy and Leslie. Things begin to go bitter, however. One of the family, Pete, begins staring down Leslie, stating that he wants her as his “wife.” Betty, another one of the family members, keeps hounding Stephanie to get her more ice.

Then, to make matters worse, the lights turn off, and a serial killer named White locks them inside of the House. He throws a soup can down through the chimney with a message scrawled on it. The message states that he has killed God and will murder all seven of them unless they kill one of their own by dawn.

All the people frantically move through the house, but just get trapped in each new room while trying to avoid the man in the mask.

Why I Picked It Up: Like most of the books in this haul I didn’t go in knowing anything about this book but the synopsis seemed intriguing and I like horror-ish thrillers and this seemed like a good one. I have never read anything by either author before so I don’t know how well I’m going to like it but for $0.50 I thought what the hell (that’s the case for most of these books to be honest lol)

Book Two: The Host by Stephenie Meyer

Publication Information: In May of 2008 by Little, Brown, and Company

Book Summary: Melanie Stryder refuses to fade away. The earth has been invaded by a species that take over the minds of human hosts while leaving their bodies intact. Wanderer, the invading “soul” who has been given Melanie’s body, didn’t expect to find its former tenant refusing to relinquish possession of her mind.

As Melanie fills Wanderer’s thoughts with visions of Jared, a human who still lives in hiding, Wanderer begins to yearn for a man she’s never met. Reluctant allies, Wanderer and Melanie set off to search for the man they both love.

Why I Picked It Up: I know what some of you are thinking “But Cass you hate Twilight, you never miss a chance to remind us about how much you hate sparkly vampires so why would you pick up a Stephenie Meyer book” Well faithful reader of my blog here’s the reason. I saw this movie about a year after it came out and I really enjoyed it. I had no idea that it was based on a book nor that that book was written by Stephenie Meyer. I thought it was a modern take on the wonderfully cult classic movie from 1956 which I love or even another take on the more recent 1998’s The Faculty. So I wanted to read the book on which this movie was based.

Book Three: Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris

Publication Information: December 5th 2006 by Delacorte Press

Book Summary: It is the 4th book in a series so I won’t be filling this part out.

Why I Picked It Up: I have a fascination with Hannibal Lecter and I love (MOST) of the movies based on him, not a huge fan of Red Dragon, which happens to be the first book in this series. I want to collect the series and read it but they only had this one book there and it was also a recommendation by the friend I mentioned in the rant above.

Book Four: Misery by Stephen King

Publication Information: Published in 1987 which is when my copy was printed. By Viking Press which is an imprint of Penguin Random House.

Book Summary: Paul Sheldon. He’s a bestselling novelist who has finally met his biggest fan. Her name is Annie Wilkes and she is more than a rabid reader – she is Paul’s nurse, tending his shattered body after an automobile accident. But she is also his captor, keeping him prisoner in her isolated house.

Why I Picked It Up: Misery was one of my favorite movies growing up, it was the first movie I saw with Kathy Bates and I fell in love with her acting ability. And its Stephen King do I really need to say more?

Book Five: Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog by John Grogan

Publication Information: Harper Collins, October 2005

Book Summary: John and Jenny were just beginning their life together. They were young and in love, with a perfect little house and not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy. Life would never be the same.

Marley quickly grew into a barreling, ninety-seven-pound steamroller of a Labrador retriever, a dog like no other. He crashed through screen doors, gouged through drywall, flung drool on guests, stole women’s undergarments, and ate nearly everything he could get his mouth around, including couches and fine jewelry. Obedience school did no good—Marley was expelled. Neither did the tranquilizers the veterinarian prescribed for him with the admonishment, “Don’t hesitate to use these.”

And yet Marley’s heart was pure. Just as he joyfully refused any limits on his behavior, his love and loyalty were boundless, too. Marley shared the couple’s joy at their first pregnancy and their heartbreak over the miscarriage. He was there when babies finally arrived and when the screams of a seventeen-year-old stabbing victim pierced the night. Marley shut down a public beach and managed to land a role in a feature-length movie, always winning hearts as he made a mess of things. Through it all, he remained steadfast, a model of devotion, even when his family was at its wit’s end. Unconditional love, they would learn, comes in many forms.

Why I Picked It Up: Because I don’t think I died enough on the inside having seen this movie twice.

Book Six: The Patchwork Girl Of Oz by L. Frank Baum

Publication Information: The original publication date was in 1913 my copy is from 1989 and was published by Watermill Press

Book Summary: This is the 7th book in the Oz series by L. Frank Baum so again I won’t put a summery hear for that reason

Why I Picked It Up: I LOVE the Wizard of Oz. I have a tattoo of the first 4 bars of Over The Rainbow tattoed around my left wrist. It is a memorial tattoo for my grandmother. She, my mother and I all love the movie and bond over it all the time. When my grandmother passed in 2010 I wanted to have a themed tattoo around the movie. Because I loved the movie so much I’ve always wanted to read the books. Even though I do have a bind up of 1-5 and 6-10 (still need 11-15) I would love to own the individual books as well.

Book Seven: Matilda by Roald Dahl

Publication Information: Published by Puffin which is an imprint of Penguin Random House

Book Summary: Matilda is a little girl who is far too good to be true. At age five-and-a-half, she’s knocking off double-digit multiplication problems and blitz-reading Dickens. Even more remarkably, her classmates love her even though she’s a super-nerd and the teacher’s pet. But everything is not perfect in Matilda’s world. For starters, she has two of the most idiotic, self-centered parents who ever lived. Then there’s the large, busty nightmare of a school principal, Mrs. (“The”) Trunchbull, a former hammer-throwing champion who flings children at will and is approximately as sympathetic as a bulldozer. Fortunately for Matilda, she has the inner resources to deal with such annoyances: astonishing intelligence, saintly patience, and an innate predilection for revenge.

She warms up with some practical jokes aimed at her hapless parents, but the true test comes when she rallies in defense of her teacher, the sweet Miss Honey, against the diabolical Trunchbull. There is never any doubt that Matilda will carry the day. Even so, this wonderful story is far from predictable. Roald Dahl, while keeping the plot moving imaginatively, also has an unerring ear for emotional truth. The reader cares about Matilda because, in addition to all her other gifts, she has real feelings.

Why I Picked It Up: I, like most children from the late 80’s onward grew up watching this movie which is where I in love with the story. Like with the host I had no idea this was a book at first and once I found out about it I wanted to read it. When I saw it at the sale I picked it up so I could finally do that.

Book Eight: The Dark Descent

Publication Information: My copy is from 1987 which is the year it was published by Tor Books which is an imprint of Macmillan Publishers

Book Summary: This highly acclaimed anthology traces the evolution of horror, from Nathaniel Hawthorn and Edgar Allan Poe to Stephen King. Adopted by colleges across the country to be used in literature courses, The Dark Descent showcases some of the finest horror fiction ever written.

Contents:

Pt. 1 – The Color of Evil

The Reach / Stephen King

Evening Primrose / John Collier

The Ash-Tree / M. R. James

The New Mother / Lucy Clifford

There’s a Long, Long Trail A-winding / Russell Kirk

The Call of Cthulhu / H. P. Lovecraft

The Summer People / Shirley Jackson

The Whimper of Whipped Dogs / Harlan Ellison

Young Goodman Brown / Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mr. Justice Harbottle / J. Sheridan Le Fanu

The Crowd / Ray Bradbury

The Autopsy / Michael Shea

John Charrington’s Wedding / E. Nesbit

Sticks / Karl Edward Wagner

Larger Than Oneself / Robert Aickman

Belsen Express / Fritz Leiber

Yours Truly, Jack the Ripper / Robert Bloch

If Damon Comes / Charles L. Grant

Vandy, Vandy / Manly Wade Wellman

Pt. 2 – The Medusa in the Shield

The Swords / Robert Aickman

The Roaches / Thomas M. Disch

Bright Segment / Theodore Sturgeon

Dread / Clive Barker

The Fall of the House of Usher / Edgar Allan Poe

The Monkey / Stephen King

Within the Walls of Tyre / Michael Bishop

The Rats in the Walls / H. P. Lovecraft

Schalken the Painter / J. Sheridan Le Fanu

The Yellow Wallpaper / Charlotte Perkins Gilman

A Rose for Emily / William Faulkner

How Love Came to Professor Guildea / Robert Hichens

Born of Man and Woman / Richard Matheson

My Dear Emily / Joanna Russ

You Can Go Now / Dennis Etchison

The Rocking-Horse Winner / D. H. Lawrence

Three Days / Tanith Lee

Good Country People / Flannery O’Connor

Mackintosh Willy / Ramsey Campbell

The Jolly Corner / Henry James

Pt. 3 – A Fabulous Formless Darkness

Smoke Ghost / Fritz Leiber

Seven American Nights / Gene Wolfe

The Signal-Man / Charles Dickens

Crouch End / Stephen King

Night-Side / Joyce Carol Oates

Seaton’s Aunt / Walter de la Mare

Clara Militch / Ivan Turgenev

The Repairer of Reputations / Robert W. Chambers

The Beckoning Fair One / Oliver Onions

What Was It? / Fitz-James O’Brien

The Beautiful Stranger / Shirley Jackson

The Damned Thing / Ambrose Bierce

Afterward / Edith Wharton

The Willows / Algernon Blackwood

The Asian Shore / Thomas M. Disch

The Hospice / Robert Aickman

A Little Something for Us Tempunauts / Philip K. Dick

Why I Picked It Up: Simple, it looked interesting

Book Fifteen: The Elvenbane. Book one in the Halfblood Chronicles #1 by Andre Norton and Mercedes Lackey

Publication Information: Published in November of 1991 by Tor Books which is an imprint of Macmillan Publishers

Book Summary: The elven lords rule the world with a magical iron hand, secure in their dominion over the animal kingdom—including the original human inhabitants of the planet. If they find cause for worry, and the elven lords are not normally inclined in that manner, it is in respect to the Prophecy. The Prophecy insists that a child born of an elven lord and a human will lead a successful rebellion against their rule. Not surprisingly, the elven lords take extraordinary pains to avoid impregnating their human concubines.

This practice does not arise from any special fear concerning the Prophecy, but rather the memory of a past confrontation between the elven lords and their halfbreed offspring—a battle in which the elven lords found victory, but only by the narrowest of margins. Unknown to the elven lords, however, there is another threat to their tyranny.

Inhabiting the same planet, and possessed of magical skills powerful in their own right, are the race of dragons. It is such a dragon, Alara, who discovers a human woman in labor deep in the desert. Alara assists in the birth of the child and raises it alongside her son Keman. As the year's pass, it becomes clear that the Prophecy of an elvenbane is more fact than fiction as dragons, elven lords, halfbreeds, and talented humans struggle to determine the destiny of the world.

This collaboration between one of the most accomplished authors in the genre and a relative newcomer tot he scene is most successful. Such unions of master and apprentice are a popular trend, but this particular partnership is exceptionally satisfying. Norton is not unfamiliar with dragons, and ELVENBANE demonstrates that she’s not lost her touch.

Why I Picked It Up: I didn’t it was given to me by my friend for which I am very grateful.

So that’s it, those are the books in my haul I hope you enjoyed.

The question of the day: How many of these books have you read before and how did you feel about them?

#books #book haul #haul

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