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all-my-friends-were-glorious · 2 years

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OZIAS “OZZY” MAKOWSKI

The Gift

“Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible.” - Thomas A Kempis

GENERAL INFORMATION

Name: Ozias Makowski

Nicknames: Ozzy

Faceclaim: Ronnie Radke

Age: 15

Gender: Cis Male

Sexuality: Pansexual Polygamous

Height: 6′1″

Weight: 244lbs

Birthday: December 31st

Sign: Capricorn

Occupation: Student; Student Council President

JERICHO

Jericho is Ozzy’s familiar, a Black-Headed Python. He can be very temperamental, and even lashes out at Ozzy for his rash decision-making. While he is not particularly old considering the lifespan of a vampire’s familiar, he feels like an old man having to corral an uppity teenager. He’ll bite Ozzy for any reason, mostly to get him to behave. If he is with Ozzy, he is usually draped around him like a dramatic feather boa, though he has a nice enclosure at home. He dislikes Dirge very much and wishes she would leave him alone. However, he is fond of Zen and thinks he does a good job tempering Ozzy, provided he doesn’t become an overeager follower into whatever shenanigans his partner gets into.

QUICK FACTS

Ozzy is the older son of Ryder and Ris. Warlord!Verse Mike, AJ, and Ike are his biological grandparents, and he has a rather large family through the half-siblings of his parents. Zeke is his little brother, who he cannot stand. He has one half-sibling through Ryder with Aster.

While he is a year older than him, Zen is his best friend, and the person that knows him the most intimately. Ris has referred to him on more than one occasion as Ozzy’s most ardent disciple.

Ozzy is the first naturally born hybrid of two of the Canadian-Vampire hybrids that Mike set into motion to create super soldiers for his war. Due to his parents being Ryder and Ris respectively, he is considered higher than the rest, as well. Ris has always been a thing of hubris, as has Ryder, and they passed this on to their rather self-indulgent son.

Ris considers Ozzy a miracle, even though he knows that his parents would not think so. Ozzy’s birth was half of the reason he opted not to look for a way home, because he knew that he and Ryder were not meant to have a family.

Ozzy will absolutely sass his dad, and enjoys their banter. However, he refuses to sass his mother, and if Ris tells him to do something, he does it immediately. Ris only puts up with being sassed by Ryder, though that usually ends in things Ozzy doesn’t like to think about.

He has a hard time telling himself ‘no,’ and typically will only begin to temper himself when Zen has spoken into existence the need for it. He trusts Zen to know when he’s begun crossing lines, even if he doesn’t always enjoy having to back off of things.

While Prim sees it as a simple dislike of one another, Ozzy takes his every breath as a deep offense to his own inerrant existence. He sees them as rivals at the very least, and always seeks to show up and outdo him in anything possible. This included sniping the Student Council elections by using his vampiric powers of suggestion to secure his win the day the ballots were passed around. Zen assured him that he shouldn’t need to, and typically Ozzy would have believe him, but there are few and far between times when he doesn’t trust Zen on Prim-related matters, as the two are half-brothers.

Despite being friends with Tiff, and by extension at least aware of their brother, he has a distaste for both of their parents. His mother has never let go of the rivalry and hatred he had for Leslie for a vast majority of his life, and it has transferred down to Ozzy. He tries to keep things to himself, and for the most part just talks a big game, but has divulged to Zen that if he had the chance, he’d deliver Leslie to his mother on a silver platter. Zen believes this stems from his drive to make his parents happy that quite commonly stresses him out a great deal.

Most, if not all, of the hangout sessions he has with his friends are held at their house, or Zen’s. Ozzy isn’t ashamed of his family, though he knows that both of his parents are more theatrical and likewise hateful than most people are prepared for. It doesn’t help that his closest friend is half human, and his next closest is Leslie’s child. As such, he’s more comfortable keeping his friends far away from his parents.

Ris often treats Ozzy as though he is some kind of Messiah, and Ozzy dislikes the idea of correcting him. While he lives for the praise and the ability to do whatever the fuck he wants, whenever the fuck he wants, to whoever the fuck he wants, the pressure of being something he doesn’t really think he is gets to him. It drives him to act out more than usual from time to time, and this usually ends in worse fights with Prim.

Ozzy does not often think his actions or words through very well, and often comes from a place of emotion rather than logic. He is very reactionary and easily offended, and quick to pick fights because of this. The best hope anyone has to keep him from leaping a table and attacking is that Zen will work his magic and keep him calm.

Ozzy met Zen during recess when he was in first grade and Zen was in Kindergarten. He inadvertently made Zen cry and, while he couldn’t figure out why, felt kind of bad about it. He walked the weird little kid home after school, talking the whole time while Zen listened and hung on his every word. They’ve been best friends ever since.

Ozzy is best friends with Zen, though he’s very close with Tiff, Harley, Torm, Titus, and Gatlin. He flirts with all of his friends, at least to some degree, except for Tiff. The first and last time he did, they broke his nose and dislocated his shoulder for it. Torm is also iffy, due to his preferences. Ozzy isn’t as awful to people he cares about, though he has a bad reputation.

Ris very ardently believes a stricter, more warped version of Catholicism, and that he is a prophet of sorts. He has a god complex, but does not necessarily see himself as God. While he is not entirely sure how Ozzy is important fully, he knows that he is important, and has imparted said god complex to his son. Ozzy believes himself to be a God, however, even if his mother isn’t quite sold on the idea.

Ris has actively tortured Ozzy, both mentally and physically, and usually only stops if Ozzy gives in to him completely, or Ryder stops him. Ozzy has quite a few triggers due to this, as well as CPTSD that he refuses to acknowledge because he is not allowed to be imperfect.

Ozzy is a polytheistic solipsist, and honestly believes that he and his friends are all Gods/Goddesses. Era comes and goes from the pantheon depending on if she’s hanging out with him or Prim.

Ozzy cannot stand his brother Zeke, though Zeke has been in love with him for a while. He will fight with him, verbally or physically, whenever his short fuse runs out. Once he falls in love with Zeke, he refuses to call his brother by his name.

Ozzy is simultaneously Theophobic and Theist, and dislikes most religious iconography while also having a lot to do with it. Other people discussing it really freaks him out and he will typically try and leave the conversation.

One way that he can control things is controlling his own self harm, and his way of choice is to consume dead blood. Not enough to really kill him, but enough to make him sick.

Ozzy can take the forms of a Horned Lark and a Bombay cat.

Headcanon Masterlist

TAGS LIST

This Reckless Decadence Is Taking Things A Little Too Far (Ozzy Makowski)

If Home Is Where My Heart Is Then My Heart Has Lost All Hope (Ozzy Musings)

Oh My Feels Just Like I Don't Try Look So Good I Might Die All I Know Is Everybody Loves Me (Ozzy Aesthetic)

I Like Your Viciousness I Like Your Sins I Like Your Viciousness It Gets Under My Skin (Ozzy Closet)

All My Friends Think You're Vicious And They Say You're Suspicious (Ozzy Headcanons)

I Will Never Tell A Tortured Soul They Are Burning By My Side That I Am A Sinner I Am A Savior I Am A Lie (Ozzy Journal Entries)

Is It OK If I Speak To You Today? You've Been Pissed Off For A Week Now (Jericho)

VERSES

TBD

MAINS AND SHIPS

MAINS

@bigbadwolfletthegamesbegin - Scott - And We'll Dance Inside The Song (Ozzy and Scott - Bigbadwolfletthegamesbegin)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Michael - I've Fallen Down My Nose Bleeding Badly I'm Where You Want Me I Know The Words (Ozzy and Michael - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Ryder - My Patience Is Waning Is This Entertaining? (Ozzy and Ryder - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Ric - Dear Hearts And Gentle People That Live And Love In My Hometown (Ozzy and Ric - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Asher - Night Falls In The Dream You Are Falling As Dark Lightens (Ozzy and Asher - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Ague - Tragedy! When You Lose Control And You Got No Soul (Ozzy and Ague - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Luca - I'm Marvelous Intelligent So Why Doesn't That Make Me Feel Better? (Ozzy and Luca - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Era - Her Lips Are Red And Her Hips Are Turning Heads (Ozzy and Era - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@southxparkxafterxdark - Gatlin - And You Know You Are A Paradox And You Contradict The Road You Walk (Ozzy and Gatlin - SouthxParkxAfterxDark)

@throughxthexmist - Tino - Hanging Out Where I Don't Belong Is Nothing New To Me (Ozzy and Tino - ThroughxThexMist)

@throughxthexmist - Bastian - If I'm A Danger To Myself ust Think What I Would Do To You (Ozzy and Bastian - ThroughxThexMist)

@throughxthexmist - Zeke - When We First Met You Were Fickle And Shallow But My Armour Was No Match For Your Poison Arrow (Ozzy and Zeke - ThroughxThexMist)

Here - Ris - I Play To Their Sympathies I Say The Sweetest Things To Command Their Empathy (Ozzy and Ris)

Here - Mags - That Was My Best Poker Face (Ozzy and Mags)

Here - Zen - I'm Fearless Now But It Cost My Soul (Zen and Ozzy)

Here - Tiff - Anything Can Be A Weapon If You’re Holding It Right (Ozzy and Tiff)

Here - Torm - Broke All The Rules Played All The Fools (Ozzy and Torm)

Here - Prim - Why Does Everybody Love You? They Don't Know Enough About You (Ozzy and Prim)

Here - How Could Something So Beautiful Turn Out So Fucking Deranged? (Zeke and Ozzy)

SHIPS

Here - Zen - So Tell The Gun To Sin Like An Angel With The Dirty Wings (Zen x Ozzy)

@throughxthexmist - Zeke - I've Got Another Confession To Make So Complicated Let Me Try To Explain (Zeke x Ozzy - ThroughxThexMist)

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verystressedcollegestudent · 17 days

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if there's one thing i hate more than slackers in group projects its goddamn hypocrites

#this guy did jack shit for two full weeks when we're building the damn prototype #but STILL brought up the fact that most of our team blew off a report till the last minute in the beginning of march #*prototypes don't work* “sEe tHis iS wHy wE nEedEd tO hAvE a cOnvErsaTioN aBouT MS3”#like hon you lost the rights to the “y'all need to contribute more” argument the moment you left me hanging for 2-3 FUCKING WEEKS #like excuuuuuse me you been prioritizing extra curriculars all week get off your high horse stop lecturing everyone else about contribution #he made maybe 3 contributions? maybe?#first he 3D modeled an adapter and sent it to someone else to print (couldn't even do THAT himself smh)#then he sent the gc a sketch of an idea i roughly proposed literally the NIGHT BEFORE as his own contribution (that I ENDED UP BUILDING #then he...screwed on a few pipe fittings and called it a project :)#would be a LOT less pissed if he didn't show up to One Thing outside weekly team meetings/class #then apologize for slacking off BUT then launch into a FUCKING SPEECH ABOUT HOW HIM BEING HERE PROVES HIS COMMITTMENT #all because he DOESN'T LIKE GETTING UP EARLY. like sir. sir i am rIGHT FUCKING HERE. i was up till 4-5am working on this stfu #we've been building for three weeks and he's come into work on stuff wo me there ONCE for an HOUR #for context id spent about fifteen hours in the shop alone working on the fucking thing that WEEK #like im trying to be understanding ik tech week is hell #but i took “stepping back” as “i only have a few hours here and there to be in the shop and will do the writeups”#NOT “won't show up outside meetings AND we're splitting slides and writeups 80/20”#like id been in the lab all fuckin day and notice we have an assignment due (missed a SINGLE meeting due to exam)#and i ask him if theres anything i can do (and im thinking like look it over maybe add a spec or two)#and this fucker has the AUDACITY to ask me to write the full four paragraph summary cause he #*checks notes* copy-pasted some specs from milestone 3 so of COURSE its only fair that despite the fact I've been in the lab ALL DAY #that i write the four fuckin paragraphs too #course we're troubleshooting and he's like “did you clean the pump? did you disassemble it and rinse it?” like yes???#i did EVERYTHING i could think of before i even bothered texting you cause i know you're fucking useless #and then he raises fifteen different concerns which while valid would have been NICE TO HEAR WHEN I SENT YOU MY INITIAL DESIGNS #y'know BEFORE i spent over fifteen hours of my free time building this damn thing #with slackers i just pick up the work and move on with my life this idiot is trying to gaslight me into thinking that he contributed fairly #when i heard “i need to step back due to play stuff” i thought we'd be splitting it like 65:35 NOT FUCKING 95:5 #and now hes probably going to give ME a poor peer review because I've been passive aggressive with him in the few meetings he showed up to #like i got shit going on too? how the fuck does he expect me to respond to being abandoned to do this shit myself

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teaboot · 20 days

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This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

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sophiamcdougall · 8 months

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I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

#story time

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biromanticbookbabe · 9 months

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Why is it so hard to date women??? I am one too. This shouldn't be so hard. And yet it really is.

I can get a man without even wanting to or meaning to (it happened unintentionally every time that way when I still dated men now I realized looking back on it). I could do that again but I never really enjoyed it before so I doubt I would like it any better now.

You're supposed to actually enjoy dating, right?

It's not supposed to be like pulling teeth, RIGHT??? :')

(I am trying to stay positive but WOW, this sucks OMG!)

#It's obvious that I have no fucking clue what I'm doing still #I think I am looking in the literal WORST places #the new app I tried for friends/dating isn't specifically gay but it has way too many men on it literally it's mostly men somehow #I'm sorry boys but I'm not interested #But I feel like I can't talk to girls on there because I don't want them to think I'm some creep :/ :/ :/#my profile says bisexual currently but I'm not sure that's accurate #I IDed as bi for half my life but I'm still not sure if that's true #I'm thinking of quitting that app too #I got cat fished on the last gay app I tried and it happened multiple times which was frustrating!!! :/#maybe this is all BAD Karma coming back to bite me #maybe I should reactivate my account on her any way and get catfished some more *shrug* maybe it's what I deserve #tbh I'm jealous of how easily other people seem to find each other I'll admit that #I've been watching too much of the Catfish TV show lately too which does not help either :(#I'm pissed at myself for wasting college now- I was even part of the LGBT student club at both my schools ughh #and though I liked some of the other girls in the clubs I never did anything because most of them were taken already (of course)#I have this weird feeling that I missed the train for someone on here but maybe I'm imagining it??? 0-o #I couldn't be sure and do not want to be annoying about it in case I misread some signals a while ago...?#it's okay I'm not hot and still don't know if I'm gay or bi at my age (I'm really 30 but probably don't seem it)#you can do way better than me girl is what I'm saying basically #dating apps are just...terrible? awful? the worst?#a free unhinged(?) rant for all my single friends :)#if you know you definitely know #though I hope you don't because... yikes I'm sorry if you know #any body got any other app ideas??? I tried lex taimi and her already and I won't do tindr because that's too superficial/all about hook up #wlw dating #I've known I've liked women since I was 16 but never tried dating them until now so sorry if this is obvious or you've heard it before

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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 9 months

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sometimes i think about that one post about how you should have people who are absolutely delighted by your existence and like that's nice and all but what happens when they get bored of u

#im so sorry for being mentally ill on main i've just had a ROUGH couple of weeks #got covid for the first time and then my car started acting weird and now i have to pay 2k to fix it and also it's.#impossible for me to get to work with like an uber or whatever cause the guards would get pissed off #so now i have to rely on my coworkers/friends who also work with me to give me rides #and i don't live that far from work but it's still Awful being a burden #and next week is going to be so much. in terms of the ridiculous workload i gave myself #and it would be fine if i was 100% but im still so so so tired from having covid #my room is somewhat cleaner tho.#and that's Better but im still overwhelmed #im just dumping everything into my closet so i don't have to Look At it #so that i can have a clean space for my stupid mental health and then i'll slowly chip away at the closet mess over the next week #this is all unrelated to the post.#the post is about what happens when people who love u run out of patience #and also if u keep being like uwu u promise u love me uwu #they're just going to get annoyed at ur insecurity and LEAVE YOU #the problem is. i am a bit abrasive and have trouble making friends because of that. and im working on that #even tho a lot of my friends do tell me not to change cause they like my personality but also i want everyone to love me and that's not #possible with how i am #(im working on the Lying. it's so hard. i was at dinner the other day and someone asked me for a bite of my food and i went sure!#and then everyone started laughing and was like girl stop Trying to Lie just say no we all see u don't want to share #and then someone was like 'but i love how transparent you are about everything' (which is very funny because i actually hate this person an #have been working very very very hard to hide it for the sake of the rest of my friends even tho they tell me i don't have to but im trying #to not be mean to him. he sucks. even tho he's not trying to fuck me anymore he absolutely sucks. made my friend's bday about him.#oh there was a point to this but i got distracted)#anyways. the lying. i'm trying So Hard. i feel like this is a skill my parents should have taught me #and im still trying to figure out Where i got the bluntness from but i think that's just Me and not something i can blame my parents for #delete later #these tags don't make any sense but it's ok i just wanted to word vomit and feel slightly less overwhelmed and now im going to continue #cleaning my room. and then im going to go work out and then im going to finish lesson planning for tomorrow #and im probably going to tell leah that she has to be nice to me at work tomorrow or im going to cry and hopefully she'll listen

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evie-sturns · 1 month

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Sorry - Matt Sturniolo

summary: you and matt have been bickering the whole day, but one thing that comes out of his mouth accidentally makes you cry.

contains: arguing, crying, comforting, fluff.

---------------└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘---------------

matt and i have spent the day out together, but hes been snapping at me for the smallest things. i've just brushed it off, i decided hes just tired and needs to get home.

"ready to go matt?" i ask, squeezing his hand as i heave myself up off the chairs in the mall.

"mhm.." matt hums, shutting off his phone and sitting up.

the loud chatter from crowds of people in the shopping center echos through my ears. matt walks ahead of me, i follow close behind as he walks through the double doors out into the parking lot.

he unlocks the car before letting himself in, shutting the car door behind him. "jesus" i mutter under my breath before opeing the passenger side and jumping in.

"so what should we get for dinner tonight?" i question, breaking the painfully loud silence.

"don't know" he replies quietly, his voice monotone.

"i could make us something?" i say, tapping my fingers on my leg as matt pulls out onto the street.

"sure." he responds with a slight nod of his head.

the rest of the car ride is silent, matt grips the steering wheel with both hands, taking sharp turns towards home.

"matt..?" i ask quietly,

"mhm" he mutters back,

"are you upset with me?" i say, my voice soft as i look directly on the road ahead.

"nope" matt sighs as he pulls into our garage.

i nod silently as he opens the door of the drivers side, he slams the door shut behind him and walking into the house. he doesnt even bother letting me out of the car, let alone leave the door to the house open.

i sit in the car for about a minute in silence, trying to think about what is actually pissing matt off today

i get out of the car and walk up the concrete stairs to our house, i approach the door to matt and i's bedroom, the door handle rattles before swinging open.

matt is sitting on his desk chair, scrolling on his phone. he doesn't even look up at me as i flop down on the bed.

i grab my airpods off our bedside table, accidentally knocking matts cup of coffee which has been marinating on the table for several hours.

the mug hits the wooden floor, the porcelain shattering and coffee painting the wooden planks.

i look up at matt, "shit-"

"can you actually fucking stop?" matt says, almost disgusted by me.

"you've been so annoying all day and i'm so sick of it. stop." he continues.

he stares directly into my eyes as those words exit his mouth.

i usually wouldn't cry if anyone said this to me, but today it feels so personal. they way hes been so uninterested in me, and now he says this to my face?

my eyes water as matt maintains eye contact, my bottom lip trembles as my throat feels like its practically closing in.

a loud sob exits my mouth as tears instantly start to stream down my face, my shoulders slouched and bouncing up and down as i stand infront of matt.

"you're being mean now matt" i say in between shaky breaths.

he stands in shock in front of me for a few seconds before grabbing me and pulling me into a passionately tight hug, he holds my head as i feel his hands shake slightly as he takes deep breaths.

after a few seconds i pull away from the hug "look at me, please" matt says, his voice soft as his mouth parts slightly.

i look up at him, my face drenched in tears. he bends over and picks me up, holding me up around his waist by my thighs.

he sits down on the bed with me, i'm sitting on his lap, almost straddling him as he sits back against the headboard.

"please don't cry, i promise i didn't mean to make you cry im so sorry-" matt rambles on, panic in his voice.

"i've been a proper dickhead today i don't know whats wrong with me i am so sorry"

i nod, he takes the sides of my face in his ringed hands, "i am so, so grateful to have you. i have been so tired recently and i've only been getting three or four hours of sleep a night because of nick, chris and is schedule for the past few weeks and its taken a toll on me"

"and its not your fault, nothing is okay?" he finishes, his eyes scanning my face for a reaction.

i nod "thank you", matt takes his hand and casually wipes the snot from under my nose.

"can you please give me a smile sweetheart?" he asks, his hands finally dropping slowly from the sides of my face down to my palms.

i wipe my eyes and give matt a somewhat ugly smile, matts face lights up "there she is" he smiles "gorgeous girl."

he taps my waist "do you want a shower?" he asks, its been a 'tradition' that matt and i have a shower together mosts nights.

"yeah" i smile warmly at matt, he sits up, picking me up off his lap and carrying me into his bathroom.

he sets me down on my feet and helps me get my clothes off, he follows, his clothes in a neat pile by the door.

i turn on the shower up to a high heat, the steam fogging the room.

matt steps in, "holy shit- i know i've been an asshole but do i deserve to be scolded alive- fuck." he laughs, his eyes scrunching and his wide grin plastered on his face.

"its nice!" i joke back, matt steps in again, trying to keep a straight face. "oh my god-" he whispers with a smile as he turns down the water temperature. "matt!!" i whine, slapping him lightly with a smirk "i had to" he says, reaching for the shampoo and squeezing it into his hand.

he rubs the shampoo into my hair, a comfortable silence fills the bathroom along with the sweet smell of strawberry shampoo.

suddenly matt breaks the silence,

"for the record, i did enjoy the mall with you earlier sweetheart, and i'm sorry i ruined it for you."

"awh matt, its okay i go to the mall every 2 days anyway." i coo back at him with a cheeky smile.

---------------------------

matts smile btw in the shower heat cause i thought it was cute

#nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut

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lord-rain-master · 1 year

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actually what better time to rethink your life decisions than at 1:52 am right haha

#this bitch #i tried #i really did #but he's pissing me off so much idk #and i hate it so much bc i promised myself i would really try my best to be a good friend and then #if it genuinely doesn't work out then i wouldn't have to feel guilty #but now i'm stuck hating him bc of the way he treats.me AND also feeling guilty #bc i feel like i haven't tried my best being a good friend to him even tho he says otherwise #sometimes i feel like i'm putting in way more time and emotions than him into this relationship and i feel so dumb #bc look at me now i'm up at fucking 2 am thinking about him whereas he's sound asleep #i feel so fucking dumb bc i've said all this but if he calls me tomorrow i'll pick up and talk to him like nothing's wrong #why am i like this omfg #ugh fuck this i'll just try to sleep fr now #rav: personal

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justsalpals · 11 months

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Now I don't think that I'm the one to write about this, but all the fics I've seen of Hobie meeting Miles' parents always feel so... light. It's either "Hobie calls Jefferson a pig to his face and Miles gets grounded" or "Hobie is surprisingly respectful and polite and Miles' parents love him"

Even when the former is done, none of the underlying issue is really addressed. It feels just like silly banter and classic "oooh, the parents don't like the new boyfriend" stuff. Guess what? There are reasons people don't like cops.

I can't stop thinking about Hobie who is polite to Miles' parents, but in an obviously stilted and forced way. Hobie who usually slinks all around a room, but lingers extra close to Miles when his dad is around. Who keeps an arm around him in a way that usually reads as affectionate, but between all the side glances he tosses Jeff it's hard not to see as protective. Who makes a point for Miles to know he's always welcome back in Hobie's dimension. Who doesn't say anything too confrontational, not while the cop in question is in a direct position of authority over someone he loves, but has one hand tensed and ready to shoot webs at a moments notice. Because Hobie is unapologetically loud about his beliefs, but knows how to stand back and be more subtle support when the consequences would spread to others (like when he was prodding Miles about the spider society)

And Jefferson wants to be pissed, he does, but more than that he wishes he didn't look at this young man and get it. That he doesn't look at the anger and protectiveness and see the fear underneath. But they'll never actually get along, because Jeff wants to help things from the inside and Hobie believes there are no good cogs in a broken system.

I've just been feeling a kind of way, seeing some cop shit happening at pride. This situation is too racially charged for me to properly in depth explore it myself, but it's something on my mind each time I read Hobie meeting the parents.

#sorry for the cop talk y'all I just have thoughts #hobie brown #jefferson davis #across the spiderverse #punkflower

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xxsabitoxx · 4 months

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Fushiguro Megumi hates it when you get injured.

Something about it, no matter how big or small the injury is, just gets under his skin and pisses him off. Which comes off has him being mad at you, unfortunately. It’s not his intention, fuck no, he’s just so upset it happened in the first place.

It’s not till you get injured bad that you realize he’s not mad at you, rather, he’s mad at himself. There is a lingering guilt in Megumi’s eyes when you get hurt, as if he failed you.

“You know this isn’t your fault, right?” You had questioned late one night, laying in an infirmary bed with an IV in your arm because Shoko’s technique and the curse’s attack were not working well together. Meaning you were on strict bed rest until you were fully healed. Megumi hated that too, of course.

He didn’t answer, instead he flipped the page of his book with pursed lips. “I’m talking to you, Meg. It’s rude to ignore.” That got to him, closing his book slowly as he dragged his eyes up the bed to look at you. “You know this isn’t your fault, right?”

You repeated your previous statement, knowing he heard you the first time but he wouldn’t answer unless you asked again. “Yeah.” His tone was low, not convincing whatever. “Liar.” You shot back, moving your arm to rub your tired eyes.

Megumi watched the tube move with you, the dark liquid slowly dripping from the bag down the line and into your veins. “I’m not lying.” He nearly spat, anger bubbling in his gut at the sight of the retched medical machinery you were hooked too.

You sighed, “I’m sorry for getting hurt. I know it’s frustrating and all but li-“ but Megumi was cutting you off with a near incredulous look. “What?” Was all he said, leaving you to blink at him as you tried to wrap your head around his confusion.

“Y-you’re mad cause I’m careless, right? Because I keep weighing you down by getting myself injured?” You stated this as if it were factual, watching Megumi’s face morph into one of genuine bewilderment and mild offense.

“No?! What the fuck makes you think that?!”

"Because... you don't talk to me for like three days after the fact?" Megumi couldn't exactly fight you on that. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it really did come off that way. "I...shit no that's not..." he tossed his book on your bed, hands coming up to rub his face as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"I'm not mad at you. I've never once been mad at you for getting injured. I just..." he sighed, turning to look at you now "...I just get frustrated with myself. I don't like seeing you hurt, it makes me feel like I didn't do enough. Then, I sit here promising myself to do better for you the next time we go out on a mission together, and then we end up right back here. With you in a hospital bed."

Megumi's face had turned a shade of pink. He always felt fidgety having these kinds of conversations. Especially with you, especially about his feelings. "Oh..." you started, mulling over his words carefully before sighing. "You can't beat yourself up over this stuff, Megumi. It's my life and my choice to be a sorcerer. Getting hurt is part of the job." You watched him shift in his chair.

"I know it's part of the job. I just don't like seeing you get hurt. Especially when I'm supposed to be supporting you. We're supposed to look out for each other on these missions and I keep failing you." Megumi's eyes darted anywhere around the room, hands folding neatly as he tried not to seem nervous.

"Megumi." You stated it bluntly, praying he'd look up. He did, of course, he did. For some reason, he couldn't deny you when you said his name like that. "C'mere." you whispered, motioning him to sit on the edge of your bed. He listened, getting up to move the small distance and trying his best to keep you stable as the bed dipped.

"You can't go on with your life quietly beating yourself up for things that are out of your control... and mine for that matter." Your hand carefully reaches up to touch his cheek, smiling at the warmth burning under your fingertips. Megumi looks at you, head-turning reluctantly. "I love you too much to let you feel guilty."

Quiet. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The look on Megumi's face was utterly priceless. Pure disbelief. No way he heard you correctly. His tired mind and sore back must be playing tricks on him. "You... what?" He croaked, brows furrowing in denial. You smile, huffing out a laugh. "I said I love you, Megumi."

He wasn't sure how to act in that moment. Every word he could think of was fizzling out before it could reach his mouth. Instead of killing himself trying to respond verbally, Megumi did the only thing he could think of. A surprised squeak left you as his lips pressed against yours, hands shaking as they gingerly cupped your cheeks.

The kiss itself lasted maybe twenty seconds, leaving you a little breathless from being unprepared as he pulled away. "I... guess that means you love me too?" you teased him, a grin on your face. Softly, Megumi huffed out a laugh before responding.

"Yeah, it means I love you too."

Started this a few days ago and didn’t even realize it was Megumi’s birthday today! So, happy birthday, Meg :)

Hope you enjoyed! - May

#banner from cafekitsune #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujustu kaisen #jjk #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #megumi x reader #jujutsu megumi #jujutsu kaisen megumi #fushiguro #jjk imagines #megumi imagine #megumi x y/n #megumi x you #megumi fluff #fushiguro megumi fluff #happy birthday Megumi :)

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