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feverinfeveroutfic · 3 years

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chapter fifteen: nightshade, hemlock, mistletoe, and oleanders

"you raise up your head and you ask, 'is this where it is?' and somebody points to you and says, 'it's his', and you say, 'what's mine?' and somebody else says, 'well, what is?' and you say, 'oh my god, am I here all alone?' but something is happening and you don't know what it is, do you, mr. jones?" -"ballad of a thin man", bob dylan

At some point, during Sam's absence, Scott had spoke with Charlie over the phone over the course of a few days. Apparently, the marriage was on its last legs while neither of them paid any attention whatsoever. It all happened in one fell swoop and without a shred of remorse to boot: he was asked to leave and move somewhere else in Queens. Scott ran his finger over the rim of his water glass and propped up the side of his head in the palm of his hand. Every so often, he took a glimpse up towards the front door of the restaurant: near there was a nook in the wall in which the maitre d' suggested they keep their instruments safe at.

“How you feeling in the meantime?” Belinda kindly asked him.

“Like I'm ready to just—faint,” he confessed. “I thought Marge was it for me. Like there was no one else for me in the world.” He sighed through his nose and Belinda reached over for a pat on his shoulder. He showed her a friendly little smile, albeit a sad one.

Sam and Joey sat right across from the two of them there at the table. She glanced over at him and he raised his eyebrows at her.

“I'm sorry I hit you,” she told him, to which he shook his head.

“It's okay—if anything, I deserved both of those,” he assured her. “I've had far worse injuries, too, playing hockey and whatnot. I'd get hit with pucks and smacked with sticks—you don't walk away from a hockey rink to be a full time musician and not have problems with your teeth.” He showed her another lopsided little smile and she returned the favor. “So you're down—where?”

“Santa Catalina Island. Twenty two miles off the coast. But then again, I still have a place in New York City. You know, the apartment in Hell's Kitchen.”

“It's an island, though,” Joey pointed out. “An island, Sam! You're currently based off of an island.” He then bowed his head and cocked his mouth to the side. “Not to brag or anything,” he started again, that time in a false pompous accent, “but due to the amount of wealth I've gotten, I can buy an island at no rhyme or reason at 'tall!”

She burst out laughing at that, and she had forgotten that Scott and Belinda were still right there across from them. She turned to them right as he fetched up a sigh and looked away from them, and thus she stopped right in her tracks. Sam returned to Joey as a result: he ran his fingers through his inky black curls and he tilted his head back a bit so as to show off a bit of his throat and his Adam's apple. Not as prominent or sharp as Alex's, but still one for her to look at for a little more than a few seconds.

He then gave his hair a little toss and he turned his head to the side, and he showed her his side profile. She had left her journal back on Catalina, but at least she knew she was headed back there soon enough.

“You know what I feel like doin'?” he asked her.

“What's that?”

He glanced over at the far side of the restaurant, past the front room and to the doors next to that big front bay window.

“You have to use the bathroom?” she asked him, and he returned to her with a smirk on his face. “Oh, no, Joey.”

“What? Why not?”

“I'm not going into the men's room with you.”

“I never said we were goin' into the men's room,” he pointed out, “but I do wanna—” He gestured to her body and he showed her that smirk once again.

“Well, we can't really do it in this place, though.”

“We can go outside,” he suggested.

“It'd be cold, though.”

“Nonsense. If it's cold, it gets the girls nice and pointy and it gets the channel below the equator nice and damp, too.”

“Here's a challenge for you,” she started with a raise of her finger.

“Okay. I'm up for a challenge. I'm an athlete, thus I'm always up for a challenge.”

“You go over to that woman whom you've just met and break it off with her 'cause I'm bored.”

He raised his eyebrows at her.

“Joey, if you really feel things with me, I want you to prove it.”

He never moved or said anything.

“I want you to prove it and that I'm not just another fuck toy to you,” she continued.

Without any moment's hesitation, he clasped his hands on either side of her face and kissed her right on the lips. Those soft dark lips as smooth as molten chocolate. Right in front of everyone. Right in front of Scott and Belinda.

“Jesus, Joe,” he remarked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, Sam!” she declared to which she clapped her hands. Sam brought her hands down to his slender knees as they lingered close to her own. She was so close to the space between his thighs, so close to his belt, such that she could let her fingers find their way there.

But she kept her fingers upon those delicate knobby knees, right upon that snug rich black denim. Joey let his tongue slither right into her mouth a little bit: such a strange feeling to feel him inside of her mouth once again. His grip on either side of her face was soft and he slid his body closer to her. Even only a few inches between them and she could feel his warmth.

For a fleeting moment, she thought about when Alex leaned his body against her own back at the house on Catalina as he climbed out of that stool. But this was a different warmth, a different feeling. The softness and slim gentleness of Joey.

“French it up, why don't ya, Joseph?” Scott cracked. Sam squeezed Joey's knees as she slipped her tongue into his mouth a little bit for a taste.

Belinda whispered something to Scott, and he chuckled at that.

Sam then let go of his mouth and she gazed right into his big brown eyes as if she stared into her own. She then ran her fingers through his black curls and he closed his eyes. His curls, while soft and clean, felt a lot more coarse than usual. Coarse and fuzzy with the dryness that surrounded them there in California, the dryness despite the marine layer overhead and the rainfall from the night before.

She could smell him again on her clothes. She knew that she would never forget the taste of him on her lips and her tongue. She caressed the side of his face and she kept her eyes locked onto those soft brown irises as they swallowed her whole. As dark and full as the bottom of the ocean. As venomous as the very deadly nightshade he crawled out from onto the cold earth around them.

He parted those dark lips as he was about to say something, but no sound came out.

“Hey, love birds,” Scott called out to them, and they both broke out of it, and they turned their attention over to the waiter who brought the four of them their drinks to kick things off. Sam picked up her glass of lemonade and took a quick large sip of it; Joey blew on the surface of his coffee before he took a drink.

“You're not even gonna add sugar to it?” Belinda asked with an unsure chuckle. Sam turned her attention to Scott as he held his mug of Irish coffee to his mouth.

“Doesn't need sugar,” he assured her with a shake of his head. “It's already got the whole package.” He took a sip with his eyes closed.

“I've had Irish coffee before,” Sam recalled. “How is it?”

“Damn rich,” Scott replied, and he coughed. “Whoa. That'll put some hair on the chest.”

“Right back in where you shaved the word 'not' in?” Joey teased him, and Belinda laughed at that.

“Yes, Joey!” Scott laughed along with her.

“Wow!” Chuck's voice carried in right there, and the four of them turned their attention to the left side of the room. He stepped into the room at that moment and he showed off a big sheet of thick paper to them. It was a drawing of him with his arms curled out before him and his head bowed a bit. All along his arms were jagged points, all done in big bold but soft colors.

“Holy shit,” Scott declared.

“Beautiful, Chuck—” Belinda said, and her voice trailed off at the sight of it.

“It's all crystals,” he said, “at least that's according to Marla.”

“Marla made you that?” Sam asked him.

“Yeah, I was just gonna say, that looks like her style,” Belinda added.

Sam turned her attention to Joey.

“I left my journal on Catalina,” she admitted to him with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Damn. I really wanted to see what kind of art you've been up to lately.”

“It's been—I want to say autobiographical. On the next boat ride over, I'll make a note to show you.”

“Next boat ride over to visit yo' mama,” Joey cracked as he took a sip of his black coffee.

“Visit Joe Mama?” she joked.

“Visit Joe Mama, exactly!” He drank down a bit more of his coffee before Scott passed that drawing of Chuck over to them for a better look. Marla had sketched him out with some bright pink colored pencil and then she outlined him with thick lines of black ink, while the crystals where shaded in with those fine points. Down at the bottom of the page, she had signed her name “Marla Taylor” in large curly penmanship.

“Who needs to buy someone something when you can make 'em?” Sam proclaimed.

“Right, right,” Joey said as he took yet another drink of coffee. He still hadn't let things go with Testament, but she dared not let that interfere with her appreciation of her best friend's artistry. Those clean lines and Sam wanted to make some more pieces of art, all for Testament themselves. But she knew that someone on their end would recognize it, especially if she did something as obvious as sign her initials at the very bottom. Something more, something different.

An eager Chuck returned to them to fetch that piece of drawing and Joey then tapped on Sam's shoulder.

“Come with me,” he whispered into her ear, even though she was hungry and she wanted to stay there to see what Scott had in mind for brunch. But Joey insisted, and thus she followed him over to the bathrooms. They passed under a sprig of mistletoe pinned up to the wall over the entrance to the front of the restaurant; it was there she stopped right in her tracks when she realized where he was taking her.

“Joey, we're not doing it in the bathroom,” she scoffed.

“We won't,” he assured her; instead, he took her hand and he led her to that narrow hallway which led to the bathrooms. He kept on walking past the men's room and to the narrow little nook right around the corner from there. He pressed his back to the wall and he unzipped his little black leather jacket, and he showed off his chest to her.

“Oh, I see,” she breathed.

“Yeah—c'mon, Sam I am,” he begged her, to which he slid down the wall a bit so he was eye to eye with her.

“Where do you—um, want me to start?” she asked him.

“I'll start things off, actually,” he told her and he lunged for the button on her jeans. Sam held still with her legs spread out as he undid it for her. Butterflies danced about in her stomach as he ran his tongue along the edge of his teeth. He had such a fierce twinkle in his eyes: they shone brighter than the fire opals on her bracelet.

He brought his dark lips to the little bit of skin right under her belly button, to which she gasped at the feeling.

“Oh—!”

“Yeah,” he growled as he gave her another kiss there. She realized that he was going all the way down from her waist to what lay below. She had given it to him while in England and so it made sense that he returned the favor to her. His lips were warm and silken, and far more than the feeling of molten chocolate.

“Joey?” a woman's voice caught them both off guard.

He stopped. Sam froze in her tracks. He lifted his head and he fixed her jeans, but he never buttoned them back up again.

“What're you doing?” Sam demanded.

“What're you doing?” the woman laughed, and he clambered to his feet. He ran his fingers through his black curls and stood right before Sam so she wouldn't have to see her. The woman chuckled at him.

Sam peeked out from behind him to the woman across from them. She was about Joey's height, but she had a full head of frizzy but neat golden blonde hair down past her shoulders. She did in fact look older than Sam herself, but not too much older: her milky white skin had not a single blemish or crease on it, but her deep eyes aged her more than a piece of gray hair ever would for her. She was slender but with that classic hourglass figure, much like a model: it also didn't help matters that she wore big black stiletto heels on her feet to go with her fitted dark denim jeans.

“What're you doing?” she asked him with another chuckle.

“She—” Joey gestured back to Sam. “—had a spot on her jeans and I was just—checking it.”

She froze and she looked back at Sam, whose mouth had gone completely dry and whose mind had gone completely blank. Nothing to say and nowhere to begin. The woman then chuckled again, and then she shook her head.

“You're funny!” she told him, and he sank down a bit so she could Sam in full for herself.

“Krista, this is Sam—better known as Sam I am.”

“Sam I am?” Krista echoed him.

“Also known as Sammich, Samantha, and—my personal favorite—Sam hill.”

“Sam—this is—this is Krista,” he sputtered. “My new friend.”

“Friend?” she demanded from him. She gaped at him complete with a raise of her eyebrows.

“Y-Yes,” Joey stammered; even with his sun kissed skin, the blush in his face was all too obvious. Krista flashed her an unsure smile and she shrugged in response. He cleared his throat once, twice, four times and he bowed away from them so they wouldn't have to see his face; Sam lingered closer to him.

“H-H-How'd you know I was back here?” he stammered some more to her.

“Scott told me he saw you run back here,” Krista explained, and Sam frowned at the sight of the blush on his face and his heavy breathing.

“Are you okay?” she asked him, concerned, and he coughed a bit.

“Yeah—I just—got a—a—” He patted his chest and straightened himself upright. “—a—a li'l—um—”

“Joey,” Krista said.

“Joey,” Sam echoed her.

“Huh?”

“You don't—look good,” Krista told him with a shake of her head.

“Yeah, you look like you're about ready to pass out,” Sam added.

“I'm fine, I promise,” he assured them, but then his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he fell onto his back. Krista and Sam glanced at one another in complete amazement, and they both stood over him as he lay there on the linoleum with his arms out on either side of him.

“What should we do?” Sam asked her in a small voice, to which Krista nibbled on her bottom lip.

“Good question.” She stopped and then she looked over at Sam with a tested look on her face. “Was he—actually checking your jeans?”

“Do you want the truth?” Sam asked her.

“Always.” She smelled faintly of peppermint, an aroma that Sam hadn't smelled in what felt like forever; Sam herself shook her head and Krista fetched up a sigh and rolled her eyes.

“Don't worry, I'll take care of this,” she told her in a low voice and with a wave of her hand

“Okay,” Sam replied with a nod of her head, and she stepped away from there. Her face felt so hot right then: it felt rather obvious in that hallway that Joey had kindled up a new flame there with another woman, and yet she still wanted him. She still wanted him even when she realized that her jeans were about to fall right off her hips.

She caught herself before anyone else caught her with her pants down.

Sam stopped right there, right underneath the sprig of mistletoe and she adjusted the zipper on her jeans. Krista's laughter floated out from that hallway and Sam sighed through her nose. Unless he really made it obvious to her, then she wouldn't have gone through with that with him. Or maybe he wanted to play the field, but there were too many questions she had already at that moment.

She straightened her shirt out and gave her dark hair a little toss back with a flick of her head. She could only hope that he was playing the field. That was the only hope she had right then.

“Hey, Sam!” Scott called out right then.

“Brunch is here!” Belinda added.

She turned to those tables right behind her and she joined them both for some French toast, sausage links, and biscuits and gravy.

“Where's Mr. Nightshade?” Belinda asked her.

“He's—He's—He's—” Sam could hardly speak herself. She sipped on her lemonade a bit so as to clear her head. “He's having a moment,” she spoke right then.

Scott chuckled at that. Even from a momentary glimpse, Sam could tell that that mug of Irish coffee had already left its mark on him.

But she shrugged and she dug into her biscuits and gravy, the former of which were light and fluffy and fresh out of the oven; the latter of which was pale but peppery and even soft in texture. She took a glance to the left and the booth that Testament had packed into for themselves.

Chuck and Eric were both still very much in awe of that drawing that Marla had made; if only there was a way in which Sam could find her way back to Catalina just to fetch her journal, but alas she could not, not with brunch at the helm. Meanwhile, Alex leaned his back to the wall there in the booth and he kept his cup of tea close to his chest. He took a glimpse over at her with those deep eyes, as they looked as deep as ever at that moment.

If Joey could play around with another woman, why not play around with other men? If he really wanted her that bad, then she would have to act.

Scott cracked a joke to Belinda and she almost choked on her bite of sausage from laughing so hard. But Sam had her attention fixated upon the young buck across the floor from her. The shirt that her mother had bought for her fit him rather snugly, all around his waist and his chest, such that he had undone the top two buttons and showed off a bit of his chest. He said something to Greg who then nodded at him: he leaned past him and flashed Sam a wink. She returned the favor with a pretty little wave.

Alex picked up his tea and sauntered across the floor towards her. For a second, she swore that he had a bit of a sway to his hips as if he knew what was going on.

He took his seat next to her but he never bunched up closer to her than the single couple of inches that the seats allowed them.

“By the way, I should tell you, that wasn't me who was rubbing your butt last night,” she promised him.

“I think you told me that and I wasn't able to say something about that,” he recalled, “to that I say—” He gaped at her. “—oh, no.”

“Yeah. But if it's any comfort, though, my mom had the hots for Joey when I brought him home.”

“Wow.” He raised his eyebrows at that.

“Yeah. If it's any further comfort, I'm nothing like that.”

“Is your mom like—always like that?” He lowered his voice a bit on that last part.

“Not really,” she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. “It's like—something woke her up when I brought Joey home for her to meet him.”

He paused for a second.

“What exactly does she do?” he asked her.

“She's a writer. No clue what she writes, though, but she's got a good deal with it, such that—you know, she was able to move to Catalina and spoil us for a few days.”

Alex glanced behind him.

“Where even is Joey?” he wondered aloud.

“I have no clue.”

“Well, I saw you kissin' him,” he muttered to her.

“And?”

He held his hands on either side of his tea cup and he pursed his lips together.

“And? Alex?”

“Thought you guys were really gonna go there,” he confessed with a lean of his head towards her.

“We didn't, though,” she assured him in a low voice. She mopped up a bite of biscuit in gravy.

“How is it?” he asked her.

“Delicious.”

“We haven't gotten ours yet.”

“Are you serious?” She was stunned by that.

“Dead serious. Hope it comes soon, too—it smells divine.”

He took a sip from his tea and she ate up that bite of biscuit in unison with him.

“That was good pie, though,” he told her.

“The pie we had last night?”

“Yeah. Nice li'l slice of your mom's pie right in my belly.”

She giggled at him.

“Kinda wish we had some more of it,” he confessed.

“More of that plus the spag Bol from the first night,” she added.

“Oh, my god, that was unreal. So simple and homey but god—it just warmed me up so much that I fell asleep right when I lay down on the couch.”

He sipped on the tea some more and that time he closed his eyes to nourish the feeling. Sam took another bite of biscuit and gravy and she, too, closed her eyes so to relish in the lush pepper paired with the light and fluffy biscuit.

“Hey, you two guys wanna hang with us for New Year's and my birthday?” Scott offered them.

“Oh, yeah, that's right!” Sam declared. “Your birthday's New Year's Eve. Um—well, I was planning on coming to see you guys on New Year's but I dunno about afterwards, though.”

“Yeah, me, neither,” Alex confessed.

“Come on—it'll be fun!” Scott declared. “Metallica will be there, too. I talked to James just yesterday—they're gonna be with us.” Sam was reluctant however, given she had a hunch that Joey had his heart in Krista rather than her even with the kiss he had bestowed on her. Charlie called to Scott from across the room right then, and he raised a finger to them, and then he strode away from there. Sam turned to Alex and he looked on at her, puzzled and with both hands still around the base of his tea cup.

“Alex—will you hang with me on New Year's Eve?” she asked him.

“You're asking me to hang with you?” he echoed her.

“If you don't mind,” she told him with a shrug of her shoulders. He shifted his weight and flicked his black curls back from the side of his neck. The hair dye still held up but she could see it fading away from his hair. Those grays were persistent in how they didn't want to be hidden away.

“You know what?” he said. “I'd love to. Are we going back to Catalina or somewhere else?”

Sam hesitated for a second. That house up in Reno was empty but the memories still remained there.

“Let's go somewhere else,” she told him. “Has Testament ever toured Reno?”

“Uh, we've toured in Vegas. But—not really, no.” He gazed on at her, those deep eyes so deep and soulful. “Why?” He squinted at her.

She brought the tines of the fork to her lips but she never said anything to him. His face then lit up and he snapped his fingers.

“That reminds me,” he said.

“What's that?”

“I have something to give you,” he told her.

“More and more gifts each and every time,” she joked.

“Well, it's because we love you,” he declared. “You don't give gifts to people when you don't love them.”

He took another sip of tea and then he gestured for her to follow him into the front part of the restaurant, right to the front room and back in the direction of Joey and Krista.

“Careful with the mistletoe there,” she noted, to which Alex leaned his back towards the wall and let her go ahead to the other room. He then bowed after her, right underneath that little lush sprig of mistletoe. He joined her right by her side all the way back to the front door.

There was that small space right next to the door: near the front of the whole stack stood his guitar case. He crouched down to the floor and he nudged it to the side: Sam lingered next to him with her hands pressed to her hips.

“Let's see, I think—Eric had it stashed with him,” he said aloud, “like I showed it to him right before our second night in Reseda and he was like 'yeah, I'll keep it safe for you, Alex.'” He then lifted his gaze back up to her.

“Seeing as you just have your little purses,” he started, and he took out a large red wine colored handbag with a small five petaled flower comprised of large mismatched beads sewn to the front: a flower that reminded her of the oleanders there in the south land. It was obviously handmade but the sight of it made her gasp.

“Oh, my god, Alex—this is beautiful.”

“I just think of the glorious guitar strap that you and Belinda made for me for my birthday last year,” he confessed, “and I decided to make something of my own for you. I just see you with your purses and all the stuff you put into them, and at one point, I thought, 'man, Samantha could use something a little bigger, but I'm not finding anything larger, though.' It was actually an effort from me, my brother, and both my parents—I don't know the first thing about beading. But I suggested it to my mom and she goes, 'okay, honey, I'll give it a shot.' My brother and I picked out the color and the fabric, and my dad pieced it together—”

Sam threw her arms around him before he could finish his sentence, and then he returned the favor. Those long spidery fingers caressed over her back and her hair.

It was going to be the first New Year's Eve in which she would have no one to kiss especially if Joey was going to tease like that. But then again, Alex stood there next to her with his body close to her. The warmth of his body. The softness of his white skin and his jet black hair.

She looked right into his round boyish face and he showed her a little grin, albeit one full of imperfect teeth.

“So where do you wanna take me?” he asked her.

“I'll take you to the place I know all too well,” she told him. “It's a long drive, though.”

“I'm up for it,” he promised her. “As long as we get to see Anthrax in Long Beach the night before.”

“Of course! And that's Zelda's birthday, too.”

He gaped at her.

“Oh, shit, really?”

“Yeah. I just now remembered it, too. She threw it at me during the Stormtroopers of Death tour. I can't believe I still remember it, too.”

“Wow,” he said in a hushed voice. He adjusted the collar of his shirt and she slung the bag over her shoulder.

“Does it fit?” he asked her; and she brought the bag itself close to her hip.

“Like a glove,” she promptly replied.

“Excellent!” He flashed her a thumbs up.

“We have to go back to Catalina, though,” she told him. “Just—you know. Tell my mom what's up and whatnot.”

“Day after Christmas, though.”

“Of course,” she told him and with a nod of her head, “of course, of course, Alex. If she rubs your butt again, I'll tell her about it. Don't you worry.”

He fetched up a sigh and then he bowed his head a bit. He stepped back for a better look at the handbag under her arm. She brought it up before her thighs: the bud of the oleander was comprised of five small black onyx beads, much like the ones on the bracelet Chuck gave her, as well as one large wooden bead. Light pink and white beads meanwhile made up those five petals for that familiar poison flower.

“It almost looks like a book bag,” he noted. “Like something you take to school.” He froze right then. “By the way, are you even still in school?”

“I don't think I am,” she confessed. “I never got any pieces of mail from there—no grants or anything. As far as I know, Bill ended the whole entire career for me.”

“That greasy bastard,” he proclaimed. “Talk about not practicing what he preaches.”

“Right?” she laughed. “Although if I'm honest, Alex, I almost felt restrained while in school.”

“Well, I'm gonna relay the same thing Eric told you earlier—if it feels right, you're probably right.”

“Hey, Alex!” Eric himself said right behind them. “Biscuits are here.”

“Oh boy!” Alex rubbed his hands together, and Eric spotted the handbag under Sam's arm.

“Oh, hey, you found that in my case!”

“Sure as hell,” Alex replied.

“Thank you again, too,” Sam told him and they embraced one last time before Alex hurried back to the table with Eric. The warmth stayed in her face as she walked back to Scott and Belinda.

It was only fair to herself and Joey after all.

3 notes · View notes

justmickeyfornow · 5 years

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How do you sit down and write? Like do you write at tea/coffee shop to increase that anesthetics writer creativity? Or hole up under your blanket? I’ve been trying to write something for 2 months now without much progress. Any words of wisdom?

Boy, do I got a few tips for you!!

These tips are mostly if you’re writing a story (but some work both ways), so if you’re writing a paper or a dissertation or something with no progress, I’ll gladly do another post for that!

Step right up and welcome to Mickey’s....

Sit Yo Ass Down And Write Crash Course

1. Tip number uno:

Never sit your ass down and write.

Hear me out, hear me out. If you’re anything like me, then you’re probably a serial procrastinator who’s always in desperate need to just not do what needs to be done. It’s quite simple. All you gotta do is trick that damn beautiful but procrastinating brain of yours.

How? Well, I’m glad you asked!

I actually do my best writing standing in lines! Yup! Standing in lines has written some of the most intense scenes in PI. Hospital and airport waiting areas? Yup. Lotsa writing done there! Basically, if you find yourself waiting for something, pull up your phone and start writing. Half of PI was written on the subway, on buses, or in cars. I don’t know what it is, but my brain becomes hyperactive at that point. Like I have to finish writing this scene before reaching the front of the line or else I’ll make a fool of myself in front of the pretty barista lady.

For us procrastinators, we like to find any and every excuse not to work. But when you’re not actually working and your doing something else instead, our procrastinating brain doesn’t really identify the action as writing.

Believe it or not I never actually ‘sit down and write’. I only do so when I’m editing. During the editing process, I force myself to sit down on an actual chair, in front of an actual laptop/computer screen, use an actual keyboard, and edit! It’s brutal! Makes my procrastinating brain go antsy!

2. Tip number two:

If you get an idea, stop, drop, and type!

Don’t think about it. Don’t overthink the idea. Just jot it down on your phone. I don’t care if you were talking to someone and it would be rude to do so. Because as soon as you let go of that idea and say, “I’ll write it down later” then poof! it’s gone!

Repeat after me: STOP. DROP. AND TYPE.

3. Tip number trzy (Polish):

never write perfectly from the start.

Write in bullet form if you have to. Or just type the idea you have in your head. The more you pressure yourself to writing something perfectly, the more you’ll forget your idea. And this works with both story writing and academic writing as well.

Writing is a lot like drawing. You start with pencil, draw the basics - dialogue, single action, main thing that happens - then using your pencil, draw some of the details - the he said she said parts, turn the actions into full sentences with adjectives and description - then lastly add in the color - the punctuation, the indentations, and the splitting of paragraphs - and finally you have a picture.

Let me give you an example. This is a simple scene that I’m gonna write on the spot from the random phrase “There’s no space for my ice cream”. (I initially screen recorded a video for you, but then when I came to upload it, I unfortunately realized that Tumblr doesn’t allow videos on asks....)

So here you see just random dialogue. No actions even.

Then I added dialogue above it. So what you write first doesn’t necessarily mean what’s gonna come first.

More dialogue and some action.

Here I started fixing it up. Added indentations. Set a scene with Lena being in the other room and all.

And then Tada!

So, As you can see, I start with basic dialogue, just what I think they might say (it changes a lot btw). Then I add some actions. Then I go back up and write more dialogue before the dialogue I started with. Then I go ahead and indent a few lines here and there. I write the saids (Kara called. Lena answered. She said. Kara exclaimed. Kara whined). And then add in some scenery as well.

And like I said, this works for story writing as well as academic. I used to do the same thing when I needed to write a paper. I would start simple. No big words. Just somewhat of an idea of what I want to write and build up from there.

4. Tip number quatre (French):

Watch to learn.

This means that when you’re watching something, whether it’s a movie or a tv show, learn how the characters react. Their quirks, their nervous habits, everything and anything that makes them them. I can’t count how many times I had to rewind a movie because I was too busy noticing how the main character’s eyes would linger on the coffee table in front of her before she would say something painful. Or how if a character is shoved to the ground, which body part hits the ground first. Go through scenes of movies and tv shows and learn how people behave.

Movies and Tv-shows could also help you with how a character can cope a certain way or react in a certain way. For example, I was watching this show on Netflix called “Dead To Me” and the main character, her husband was killed in a hit-and-run by a speeding car. And part of her grief was that she would jot down the licence plate number of every car that was speeding and every car that had a bump at its front. That’s a detail of a specific form of grief. You could have your own character be obsessed with finding a cure to heart attacks if their SO died that way.

5. Tip number cinque (Italian):

Use real people as reference.

Sit in a coffee shop and creepily watch a woman sitting in the corner table. You gotta act all stalkerish here for it to work! Now pretend that it’s your character that’s sitting there. Write down the little things that the woman might do that you’ll probably never even think of if you would have written the scene at home. Like how the woman’s head jerks up when a car passes by and she watches it through the glass window. How her foot taps on the floor to the rhythm of her music. How she frowns when she spills some coffee on her sketch book. Everything. The silly faces she does to the toddler sitting in the other table.

Use real people. If you’re writing a girl who’s somewhat tomboyish, maybe go to a skateboard park or something. Go to a fancy restaurant if you’re writing a rich old lady. A library if you’re writing a college student.

6. Tip number lix (Somali):

Don’t write in order.

I cannot stress this enough. Write bottom to top. Middle to top. Middle to bottom. Write middle to bottom to middle again to top. Just don’t do it in order. Most of the time I write a paragraph thinking this is how I’m going to start my scene and it ends up being somewhere in the middle of all the chaos! Writing in order doesn’t make sense not even in essay writing. You never write an introduction first because you need a thesis. In order to have a thesis you need to know what the hell your body paragraphs are talking about. So, you start with your body. Not necessarily the first body paragraph either.

Write whatever comes to mind and figure out the order later. Chances are, it’ll change a billion times over before you commit to one. Writing in order gives your brain stress and in turn you’ll probably get a mental block. You’re too pressured to write the opening scene of the chapter that you forget what the hell happens in the end. And you lose that excitement, that flare you have to write the scenes that you had figured out in your head. Which sucks. Because it’s nearly impossible to get that back!

Also don’t worry about how you’ll combine everything in the end. That’s for the editing process, you’re not there yet. And from my experience, things tend to come together in the end on their own so you shouldn't worry too much.

7. Tip number seitsemän (Finnish):

Details, dude! They are everything!

(This one has nothing to do with being unable to write.... I realized this only AFTER I wrote it.....)

sometimes the details have nothing to do with the main characters, but writing them helps the reader feel like there’s a world there being lived beyond the characters he or she is reading about.

It paints a picture. And in writing, it’s very hard painting a picture with a white paper and some black ink. And that’s when details come in hand.

What I like to do is I like to zoom in on the scene I’m writing. Picture the scene in your head. Let’s take for example both characters are sitting on a bench in the park. Now pretend you have a pair of binoculars and zoom in on the scene. You’ll probably see a small ladybug that is sitting on the bench between them that one of the characters noticed but didn’t say anything because they know the other person is afraid of bugs. So they carefully pick it up without letting the other person know and they place it on the other side beside them. Or maybe you’ll realize there’s some carvings on the edge of the bench. A heart with an arrow and two letters on each end. Your character will probably wonder who the letters belong to, what were their names, and whether or not she and the other person would ever carve their own letters on a bench somewhere.

Details make a simple scene of two people sitting beside one another, into a whole picture of everything around them.

8. Tip number osm (Czech):

Do research!

Top weird things I had to do a ton of research about for my stories:

How to build a gas bomb that you could release through the ventilation system of a buildingWhat kind of metal are the batarangs made of?How to bring someone back from the dead?How much space do you need to build a rocket and is a football field enough?How high should a person’s IQ be for them to be considered ‘genius’ level of smartQuantum Mechanics and matter reconfiguration devicesintracortical microstimulation (whatever that is) and how to use it to create the sense of touch in amputee limbs

The list goes on, trust me!

But research gives you an idea of where to begin. Sometimes, you don’t even know what it is you’re writing and you get ideas from your research. Research gives your readers a realistic sense to your world. Even if it’s not real. Even if all you’ve written is fake. They don’t know that! But what they do know is that your character is hella smart and can create a device using intracortical microstimulation to help create the sense of touch in amputee limbs!

Fun fact: Watch "True Memoirs of an International Assasin”. It’s on Netflix. And it’s every writer’s nightmare. It explains just how much we writers would go for that small detail. It shows you the depths we will take to ensure we know every detail of what it is we’re writing about! Highly recommended for every writer out there!

9. Tip number dokuz (Turkish):

If you’re stuck, act it out!

Yup, you heard me! Get yo ass off that chair and start practicing for your next Oscar because you’r gonna act out the scene you wanna write. Say your character just entered her house and called out to their spouse without a response. Go inside your own house and start jotting down the details of what you see. Your character will probably notice the lack of shoes. How the kitchen light isn’t turned on. Or the hum of the dishwasher not present. No keys in the bowl. All small things that they slowly realize before actually realizing that no one was home.

Acting also gives you ideas on how someone would react. Walk into your own house and imagine finding out you’ve been robbed. All your stuff is everywhere. Now, realistically - and I mean really really realistically - you wouldn’t freak out. At least not physically on the outside. You wouldn’t start jumping and shouting and go looking in your room if your cash is gone.

Because your brain needs time to process. You would have questions. Lots of them. Is the thief still here? Should I call the police? No, what if this is a prank. Is this a prank? Who would prank me like this? Your eyes would go around the room, noting down all the details there. The broken glass, the opened drawers, the thrown pillows. Use your own surroundings to imagine what a robbed place would look like.

10. Tip number umi (Hawaiian):

Always remember, each character is different.

(Realized this one also has nothing to do with being stuck and not being able to write and more to do with character writing... I think I went off topic....)

I always find stories where all the characters are practically written the same way. The dialogue is really generic. Because the writer isn’t really imagining as each character being a separate entity. They’re all characters of a story to them. The way one character talks is often if not always never the same way another character talks. AND a certain character will talk differently depending on who they’re talking with.

Give each of your characters certain attributes or quirks that they add to their dialogue. Like how the more sophisticated one chooses to say ‘darling’ instead of ‘babe’ or how one of them speaks in short and concise sentences having served time in the army and taught that each word counts. I know this tip isn’t that important, but I’ve seen a lot of writers do this mistake where all the dialogue is the same. And that’s because they’re trying so hard to move the story along that they forget that they need time for the characters to react and process differently.

Similarly, make sure that you know that each character reacts differently. I’ve fallen into this mistake several times actually to be honest. This one time I wrote a whole scene where I had Lena be super happy about something (can’t remember what it was) with someone she wasn’t too close with and then I remembered that she’s more reserved than Kara. She less trusting so she rarely shows her genuine side to others unless she knows them to be worthy or good. She’s not too open so she wouldn’t show her happiness by jumping around and screaming with joy. Whereas Kara! Oh, Kara! She would hug the mailman when she would be happy! And she’s probably best friends with her pizza delivery guy! Had to do multiple rewrites whenever I would do that mistake.

11. Tip number vienuolika (Lithuanian):

Drink Green Tea.

Repeat after me: Drink. Green. Tea.

No explanation necessary. Tea is life.

#Sorry this got so long #I tried putting it under keep reading but it didn't work #Oh well #Writingng advice #Ask #Mickey answers #Writing tips #Writing #Fanfiction

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maiji · 6 years

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Process and wip images for A House That Holds Long Limbs

You can read the pages for part 1 here (full complete version will be linked from YYH North Bound master post whenever it’s done.)

Every so often I get questions about how I work, and I also enjoy reading about how other creators make things, so perhaps this might be interesting and useful to somebody out there too. I’ve talked about my process before but never really documented and shared it WHILE working on a project, so here you can see some of my thinking and decision-making (and poor habits lol) a bit more immediately, alongside screenshots, photos and scans.

Very long, everything is below the cut, and apologies to people on mobile and anywhere else this goofs up.

One question I get a lot is “do you start with words or pictures when creating a comic?” I jump between both a lot. That said, I tend to lean more heavily on words when documenting ideas in the early stages of a project. This is because, for me:

Words pack a lot of punch in conveying detail quickly. They work better when I need to quickly communicate something extremely specific to future me. I’m a sloppy drawer, so my sketches tend to make future me squint and go, “What the hell was this supposed to be?!”

A great deal of my thinking and planning is done during crowded commutes. It’s more convenient to jot notes on my phone than to whip out my sketchbook and a pen.

(For a while I thought it’d be awesome to have some sort of app where I can type notes AND have an accompanying thumbnail sketch, and be able to drag them around or break them out into more or fewer pages. At one point years ago I thought about creating a custom app... but ultimately too lazy/busy and my current process works well enough. If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it, please feel free to do so and just let me know about it so I can try it haha.)

I usually start with a few lines summarizing the gist of the idea, enough that’s recognizable and I don’t forget the important things to build off from. From there, I start point-form outlining the stuff that needs to happen, structuring them into key scenes/parts. These scenes are not always fleshed out in order - I just add to them whenever I have ideas for that part.

Long Limbs, for example, had a progression like this:

Overall story idea: “horror story with rokurokubi, key plot point(s) happens, the end.” (There was a bit more detail than this, obviously, but we’re avoiding spoilers here.)

Initial description for Part 1 of the story: “Hokushin lured to go to somewhere. Separated from Raizen. HOW??????”

After letting it simmer for while, a solution: “Hokushin annoyed at Raizen. Opportunity for him to get away and go do his own thing.”

Gradually more detail: “Stranger invites him to go to this place to look into something/maybe has a paid job that needs to be done and Raizen is busy goofing off or whatever.”

Problem. I couldn’t resolve this chain of thought to my satisfaction. What kind of task/job can someone convince Hokushin to do on his own when he doesn’t know this person/it seems questionable? And how long will the conversation need to run to establish this as believable?

This was starting to get convoluted and I was getting annoyed because it was turning into a burden in being able to continue the story AND IT WASN’T EVEN THAT IMPORTANT. I decided to abandon this path of thinking, and left the entire story for a while.

Much later (like months?), I had an idea: “Mysterious person drops something, piques Hokushin’s curiosity.” Aha! Hokushin’s own initiative. Simple and plausible enough. HOORAY NO MORE THINKING. LET’S DRAW.

Then I realized, oh shoot, I need to figure out who this mysterious person is and what they dropped. More time passes. And so on… in between I’m always working on other things, so there’s no real creator’s block - at some point I start thinking about this comic again, and ideas work themselves out to some decent level of satisfaction and link together. Thanks subconscious!

Eventually, enough key scenes are fleshed out that I feel confident enough to turn this into a real thing. At present, for example, not all scenes in Long Limbs are totally worked out, but I’ve got enough that I ran ahead with Part 1.

Screenshot of the Google Docs notes/script for Part 1:

This is a close-to-final version. The === on top is just to separate this from notes on other stories or ideas. This is the beginning of the document, but this document actually includes many other notes and stories for North Bound. I delete them as I finish and post the pages. Every so often I wonder if I should bother keeping them, but they’ve been refined throughout the process and usually don’t bear much resemblance to the original jotted notes anymore. Long Limbs was originally planned to be a later story in North Bound, but I got especially excited about it and fleshed it out further than the others. When I reviewed the earlier stories, I didn’t think there’d be a big continuity or reader experience issue if this was finished and posted first. So I moved the messy notes for this story to the top of the document.

The page breakdown for the script is done by me generally picturing in my head how I might want the scene to go and how much action I might be able to fit on the page for good effect. I’ll sometimes start paginating without thumbnails, and sometimes will do both side by side (thumbnail and update pagination in tandem).

As you might imagine, pagination frequently changes. For example, you’ll see the script above is 9 pages instead of 10.

The original script for this section was broken up into maybe 4-6 pages, with 5-7 being more condensed.

When I started thumbnailing, I found it felt too cluttered and moved too fast.

So I stretched out the part of Hokushin and the mystery girl exchanging glances, and added pages to be able to create a (hopefully) more cinematic feel and really focus on the reason they catch each other’s eye - the bandages on their necks.

I then went back to the Google Doc and updated the script to line it up better.

I was also tweaking the dialogue at the same time and didn’t want to forget any key phrasing I liked. Dialogue is another thing I get really hung up over, often changing words up to the last second. (Sometimes this is because I messed up the size of the speech bubble, if I’m lettering on the computer...)

Thumbnails:

Pretty close to the final in this case - mainly because the sequence is pretty simple and straightforward and not many people are involved. I keep my thumbnails very crappy and rough so that I don’t get upset later when I can’t redraw something as good as the thumbnail. Bottom right was a quick attempt at designing the mystery girl.

Once I think the thumbnails are good enough - translation: I get impatient and just want to start drawing - I proceed to pencils for the actual page.

Throughout all this, I’m repeatedly reviewing script and thumbnail and playing sequences out in my head and then trying to figure out how to better direct the “camera” and the action. I may go back to the script and the thumbnails even as I’m finetuning the actual page if I encounter issues. You can see in both the script and the thumbnails that there are still deviations in the dialogue and the art from the final. Here are a few examples:

Page 3: The panels were originally 1) the setting, 2) Hokushin with his arms folded, 3) Raizen laughing, 4) we see that Hokushin is watching Raizen. After reviewing the thumbnail, I felt it��d be a better setup to flow into the scene if I switched panels 2 and 3. That’s closer to how you’d experience it in real life, or how it might be directed in a shot sequence: you enter an area/place, you hear the sound of some guy’s loud laughter filling the air, then the camera zooms up to the annoyed expression of this one particular dude and you see he’s staring at the laughing guy. Moving from bigger ambience to smaller details around the room.

Page 7: The girl was originally turning in the other direction (hard to tell because I redrew it right on top of the original sketch lol). However, this meant all the directional action would be pointing to the right - Hokushin is facing the right, and when he leaves the bar he’s angling towards the right side of the page. Facing the direction that readers will read in gives a sense of driving the action forward, while facing the opposite direction provides a bit of a mental stop. (This is something from Scott McCloud that always stuck with me.) So, I flipped the girl around.

Page 8: Script has Hokushin going “What’s this?”. When thumbnailing, I thought, “obviously it’s self-evident he’s wondering what this is when he picks it up”. It added nothing to the panel, and the speech or thought bubble would have interrupted the smooth action of him picking up the paper. So, axed.

The damn friggin’ bar and gambling: You’ll see the script mention this, and at one point I actually had the guy standing across from Raizen saying “Is this guy drunk?” I’m actually not sure if they’re in a bar or if Raizen is drinking, but neither were important to the actual story because I just needed Raizen and Hokushin to be in a place where Raizen could hang out with humans and be stupid. So I dropped these details. This is mainly because I ran into historical research problems about bars and alcohol during the Kamakura period (more on that near the end of this post), and this was the only way to stop myself from getting hung up on trying to make it “perfect” and “correct” and just get it done.

Drawing the actual pages. This part is fun!

Inking the actual pages. THIS PART IS NOT FUN :(

I don’t have very steady hands and I get very anxious about messing things up, so inking always takes me the longest. (I also get distracted easily, e.g., ink two lines and then surf tumblr for ten minutes lol). I’ve improved a lot since I started drawing comics much more frequently a couple years ago, and my choice of tools and style has helped a lot (I lean to variable lines and sketchy style, which is more forgiving than, say, a very precise art style with fixed-width pens) but I still get nervous at this stage.

I’m very lazy so I usually stick with one tool for inking. For Long Limbs I tried to effort more and actually used three. Right to left: Sailor fude de mannen for panel borders and text, Muji pen for artwork (0.4 because that was the only size available at the store when I went to get my refill), Pentel pocket brush for filling in blacks. I refill the fude de mannen and the pocket brush with fountain pen inks.

I usually ink panel borders first, then speech bubbles, then everything else. I hop all over the place and pages are generally in varying stages of completion. I also sometimes add in some more text lines because it seems like a good idea at the time - Hokushin’s complaint on page 3 about how he should have left Raizen when he got into a fight with a fish-seller in a previous story, for example. Sometimes these work, sometimes I regret it later and edit it on the computer.

Cover thumbnails and pencil sketch:

The one in the page thumbnails was the original idea, but then I thought, “seems kinda cliched. Can I get a more interesting angle where he’s not looking straight at the viewer?” (OK, his eyes are covered, but you know what I mean.) I quickly tried a few other angles and compositions, didn’t like them and ended up going with pretty much the original idea, but more zoomed in.

In the thumbnails, you can see all my little x’s indicating “ehhhh I don’t like this”. I wanted something with a particular mood/atmosphere especially with all the hands and arms, and I was conflicted between zooming out (for more environment and more arms, and the focus on the “long limbs” part of the title) or having a tighter, more close up shot. Ultimately I think the latter works better as it conveys a sense of claustrophobia, and it’s more intimate which supports the idea of psychological horror. ALSO IT’S SEXY (maybe???). The end.

Other random thoughts:

I took a lot of heart/inspiration/motivation from Togashi’s last few volumes of Yu Yu Hakusho to keep the backgrounds as lazy - I mean sparse - as possible and also speech bubbles over plain backgrounds lmao. I think it takes a lot of confidence (or maybe laziness) to be so minimalist and restrained, and it’s an impressive and economical way of working. I was always impressed that when reading those pages of his for the first time, the lack of detail never really bothered me - you had everything you needed for your brain to comfortably fill in the gaps and complete the sense of narrative and story progression, and there are still visual flourishes when the situation calls for it. So I’m trying to bring a bit of that tighter philosophy in.

Research. I struggle a LOT with not getting bogged down by details, especially when it’s something “just” for fun or “just” a fancomic. I have very lovely and helpful friends and family who every so often patiently allow me to whine and bounce things off of them, help me look things up, and/or tell me when I’m getting myopic about stuff. For all the North Bound comics, finding quick and useful historical references for the time period has been a challenge. There’s a ton about aristocracy and warriors but very little about the ordinary/common people, not surprisingly. I frequently question my instincts about what makes sense because I tend to automatically draw on similar/equivalent Chinese culture (there was certainly lots of cross-over, but not always appropriate/relevant) or Edo period references (wrong time frame! Too far in the future). I often end up losing a ton of time trying to find something with roundabout searches, and then give up and look at other comics I have close enough to the time period. And then referencing those and compounding whatever historical errors they have in them. (e.g., “Well if it was good enough for Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix it’s good enough for this rando fancomic!”) I just would like historical/subject matter experts to know I did try...

#yu yu hakusho #comics #hokushin #raizen #fanart #process #wip #art by Maiji/Mary Huang #sketches #art supplies #yyh north bound

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keithbyrneart · 7 years

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Da, da, da, daaaaaaaa...... that’s a little more dramatic than I had intended. I love all these wonderful Sai tutorials that get posted on here but I haven’t seen much attention payed to Sai’s Lineart tool which I can’t get enough of. I’m sure there probably are Lineart Layer tutorials out there - I just haven’t come across one so I’m just adding to the pile. The Lineart tool is so awesome it deserves any number of tutorials anyway. It’s so easy to use, it saves me so much time, and it offers so much control which I really love. Honestly, the tool is so easy to use that this is less of a tutorial and more of just a general encouragement to just whip it out and start playing with it. Yeah. So say we start with a simple line like this swirly-wirly thingy that I drew with the marker tool. Well, the first step would be to create a linework layer by clicking the linework layer button.

There we go. Now, a lineart layer in Sai is different from any other regular layer in Sai and it will bring up a completely new range of tools. I’m gonna briefly go through them but the best way to understand exactly what each does is to just try them out for yourself. There’s no substitute for experience or however the saying goes.

Pen - This is your freehand lineart tool and to best honest I don’t really use it that often. That’s just me personally. I have an expensive gaming rig that has all sorts of magic running under the hood but we all know that Sai’s memory management is pretty crappy and I don’t need the lag or crashes that come with this tool when working at a high DPI. You may have a different, entirely pleasant experience with this particular tool but for me, if I’m doing freehand inking, I’d much rather just use the regular Pencil tool.

Eraser - Kinda speaks for itself.

Weight - This one I do love. Say you’ve drawn a line - or a path as Sai calls it. With this tool you can adjust the thickness of the particular line by simply selecting the brush size and then clicking on the line.

Color - Same as Weight. Simply select your desired colour and then select the desired line you’d like to change. Very useful. For the aesthetic.

Edit - This one comes with its own subset of mini-tools that I’ll get into in a moment. But this is definitely a useful tool - for me it’s probably the most useful.

Pressure - This is the one that adds the character to your linework. I’ll explain further below.

SelPen - A selection tool. Pretty standard. Since the Lineart layer works in ‘Anchor’ points (which again, I’ll get in to further down below) I don’t really use this one.

SelErs - Selection Erase. Goes hand in hand with the SelPen. I can’t say that I personally use this one much.

Curve & Line - The Curve and the Line tools are the cornerstones of the Linework layer. I’m explain both further down.

The Edit tool, as I mentioned, brings up its own list of sub-tools. And they definitely have their uses. Again, it’s best to play around with them to truly get a grasp of what they do but I’ll just run through them quickly before I get on with the main tutorial.

Select - For selecting anchor points of paths. Honestly, I don’t really use this one too much simply because hovering over a point or path and clicking will select it.

Move/Add - Now this one I use a lot. Moving an anchor will affect the curvature of your line if you’ve used the ‘Curve’ tool, or you can add curves to a straight line by clicking and dragging in between anchor points.

Delete CP/Curve - Kinda speaks for itself. It will delete an achor point in your line. Sometimes this can be useful for making your curves rounder if you’ve added too many points to it.

Deform Path - Again, kinda self explanatory. It will warp your line. I don’t really use this one myself but that’s not to say that it couldn’t have its uses.

Deform Anchor - See above.

Move Path - Instead of moving just an anchor or adjusting the curvature of your line you can move the entire line at once. Can be useful.

Duplicate Path - Does exactly what it says - creates a copy of your line. Haven’t found much use for this simply because I don’t particularly like copy/paste stuff in linework. Faults or differences add character.

Delete Path - deletes a line you’ve drawn independently of other lines on your linework layer. Can be useful as well.

Connect CPs - This is difficult to explain the benefits of. It’s one that should be experimented with. It basically joins lines together. I use it quite often. Just pick this option and drag from one anchor point to another to join them.

Pointed/Rounded - See the diagram below for this one. I find it very useful.

As you can see I used the Curve tool to draw a simple curve (left) and then I used the Pointed/Rounded tool to convert the curve into a point (right) by selecting the tool and then clicking on the anchor point at the height of the curve. I find it very useful. Anyway, back to our swirly-wirly thingy.

Because our swirly-wirly thingy is basically one long curve, I simply select the curve tool and start clicking. Starting at the centre point on one end, I click to add anchor points as I trace the shape of the object. Each point adjusts the curvature from the last point. It’s kinda hard to explain verbally or even visually but try it out and you’ll quickly see how it works.

Once I have a line over whatever I’m inking done I like to adjust the weight to suit my preferences. I like to work with thicker lines because they give more room to play around with weight. So to adjust the weight you click on the Weight tool, select a brush size and then click on your line. If only it were that simple in life.

Once I have a good weight selected I move on to the Pressure tool. The pressure tool gives you two options. Pressure for width and pressure for density. Width is like controlling the weight of the line at individual points and density controls the transparency. I don’t usually use the density option. As with traditional inking I prefer to denote depth, shadow, etc. with weight as you can see in the image above. To adjust the pressure, simply select the pressure tool and then select an anchor point. Click, hold and drag to the left to make the line thinner of more transparent and to the right to make the line thicker and more dense. As you drag, a percentage will appear over the anchor point you’ve selected. This can be useful for keeping things consistent.

That’s all well and good for curved lines but what about straight lines? That’s where the line tool comes in. It works exactly the same way except it won’t add a curvature to your anchor pints. Still very useful though. Especially when combined with the Weight and Pressure tools.

Here’s an example of one my drawings. It’s Dark Empress Kitana from Mortal Kombat. The one in red is the pencils which if converted to black would probably make a pretty good linework layer. I’m a firm believer in taking the time to clean up your sketch/pencils layer because it will dictate your entire drawing. The one below in black was done using Sai’s linework layer feature. Although not entirely. As much as I love Sai’s linework layer, it can look a little too clean which is not great when you're drawing people. Although, it's all art so it's all up to personal preferences and personal style. There's no wrong way to do it. For me though, I prefer to do skin, facial features, hair, etc. by hand using Sai's Pencil tool on a normal layer and reserve the Linework Layer for architecture, clothing or any non-organic substances. I inked Kitana's eyes and eyebrows freehand ( or as freehand as you can be with Sai's amazing stabilisers) but everything else such as her armour or her fan weapon thingy was done using the Curve and Line tools on the Linework Layer. I hope this tutorial has been useful. Or if not useful - then at least encouring to try out Sai's linework layer. It's such a robust feature that I don't see get much attention and I can't even begin to describe how much time it saves me or how much I adore it. If you have any questions (because I'm well aware how unsuited I am to writing tutorials - this is so damn rambly - sorry!) then feel free to drop me an ask here at keithbyrneart. P.S, sorry about my handwriting in the stills. It's gotten a lot messier these days.

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wormwood-mothman · 7 years

Text

Flowers For You (Nedden Week Day 2)

A day late and a lot longer than I planned it to be, but I hope this is still enjoyable!

Lars hummed softly while placing the key in the lock and turning, getting ready for the day. He ran a florist shop in a shopping center in downtown, though most people thought other wise at first glance. He was always wearing black or some other dark colored clothes, and on warm days when he wore tank tops his countless tattoos were visible, and had a few piercings in his ears and one on his lip. Most people thought he looked 'too tough' to be in the florist business, but he didn't care. He always loved gardening, and being able to arrange what he grew beautifully for others was just an added perk in his opinion.

He immediately started work on an arrangement he wanted to get ready for the new shop across from him. He was surprised when the sign went up on the soft-colored building, announcing it as a tattoo shop. Most usually appeared very edgy, but who was he to judge? He finished it off with a handwritten note welcoming the shop owner to the center. He looked up when he heard the bell on the front door ring.

"What can I help you with?" He asked, putting finishing touches on the arrangement before setting it aside.

"Hey! I just opened up shop across the way, so I figured I'd introduce myself," the stranger said. Lars was taken aback completely. He was not expecting that. This guy was the new tattoo shop owner? He was wearing a flower crown! And dressed in very soft colors to match his shop! And was that glitter on his face on top of some faint freckles? He knew that the new tattoo shop would be unorthodox, but this? This was unheard of. But, he couldn't deny--the guy had looks. His eyes were a beautiful blue and bright with enthusiasm, and his whole demeanor seemed to radiate happiness and comfort. He was slightly shorter than Lars, and looked to be well-toned.

"Oh, you must be the owner of that new tattoo shop. I'm Lars," he held out his hand for the other to shake, walking out from behind the counter.

"Mathias," the stranger-- Mathias-- said while shaking his hand. "I, um, hate to be rude, but you aren't exactly what I'd expect a florist to look like." Lars shrugged while grabbing the arrangement of peach roses with baby's breath and light pink anemones.

"I'm not surprised, I get that a lot. I was about to drop these off for you as a welcome gift, but since you're here I can give them to you in person." If it was even possible, Mathias seemed to grow even more excited upon seeing the bouquet.

"Oh, thank you! These are so lovely! And they match the place well, don't 'cha think?" He held the flowers up to his face with a huge grin. "I wish I brought something for you," he chuckled. Lars waved his hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about it, it's a welcome present." Mathias smiled at Lars, running a hand through his messy blond locks, careful not to knock his flower crown askew.

"Well, I still feel bad. Come by anytime you want, and I'll design a tattoo for you. I have a few ideas for one that would look good right... there," he poked at a small spot across Lar's elbow that was still bare. "I'd love to add to your collection!" Lars smiled softly.

"That sounds really good. Is there a specific time that's good for you?" Mathias shrugged.

"I'm good with pretty much any day. Just come in after seven so it's not during hours." Lars nodded.

"Okay. I'll be by, then." Mathias smiled waving with one hand while the other held the flowers close to him.

"Okay, I'll be expecting you!" He shouted while walking out and across to his shop. Once he was sure Mathias was out of earshot, Lars hid his face against the counter and groaned while smiling. Damn Mathias, and his adorably happy personality! It was infectious! But he was just so cute! He took a deep breath and pulled himself together and started working on different orders he had to have ready.

Later that morning, Antonio-- the owner of a café a few shops down, came in with a cup of Lars' favorite coffee, a flat white. Lars looked over thankfully while drinking as much as he could without burning his mouth. Antonio chuckled while leaning against the counter.

"Rough morning?" Lars shrugged.

"I guess. Have you seen the new shop?" Lars pointed across to Mathias' tattoo shop. Antonio lit up.

"Oh! That must be where the new guy is! I haven't been in, but Lovi brought him a call-in order this morning. He said he was too happy." Lars chuckled. He had known the two who owned the coffee shop for a few years. Lovi, or Lovino, was polar opposite to the happy man Antonio was. They seemed different in so many ways, but still worked together very well, both in business and as boyfriends.

"He is very happy. You should've seen the way he smiled when I handed him his welcome gift. It was like I had just handed him his most favorite thing in the world!" Antonio chuckled.

"Well, look at his store! It looks very soft. Flowers would look great over there!" Lars smiled.

"You think so? He really seemed to like them..." Antonio smiled while poking Lars.

"Ooh, I think you have a crush!" Lars swatted his hand away.

"I just met the guy, I can't have a crush on him already. Only time will tell with that. But he is cute. He has that kind of energy that you just can't help but smile along with." He smiled, thinking back to his encounter with Mathias. He looked over to see Antonio grinning.

"Mm-hm. Does he, now?" Lars rolled his eyes while taking another sip from his coffee.

"Don't you have a café to run? Or someone else to bother?" Antonio held his hands up in surrender while walking back to the door.

"Alright, alright. I know when I'm not wanted. But I also know what it looks like when someone's in love!" He left quickly before Lars could retort. He didn't have a crush! Sure, he thought Mathias was cute, but it wasn't like that. He just thought he was adorably energetic, and just had an air of being cute. He couldn't explain it but he just seemed so cute, and way too precious for the world.

A few days had passed since Lars had met Mathias without much contact between the two of them, but that changed when Lars decided to visit his shop after closing his up for the night. He brought another bouquet with him, this one of light red carnations and yellow roses. Lars was always careful choosing the right flowers for an occasion, and took care making the colors something that might appeal to Mathias. He walked across into his shop around seven. He set the flowers down and watched while he heard the buzz of a needle working. Mathias was completely fixated on the tattoo he was inking, his tongue poking out of his lips while his brows furrowed with intense focus. He utilized his flower crown now as a headband to keep his mess of hair out of his way. Lars smiled softly while sitting in the front area.

"I'll be with you in just a moment!" Mathias shouted once the needle stopped. Lars waited patiently for him to finish cleaning up and as the customer paid before leaving. Once finished, Mathias came running over, practically throwing his plastic gloves off anywhere.

"You came!" Lars chuckled, handing the bouquet.

"And I come bearing gifts." Mathias gasped softly while taking the flowers.

"Wow, these are really pretty! Thank you, Lars! I'll put them with the others!" He walked back to the counter and carefully placed the new bouquet next to the old one in the same vase.

"So, you said you had a few ideas?" Lars asked, sitting across from Mathias at a small desk with varying drawing supplies spread out across it.

"Oh, yeah! It all depends on what you're looking for. A lot of your tattoos are grayscale, so I've been sticking to that. It works out good, too. They fade slower, so it's less touch-up work." Lars nodded.

"Yeah, that part I really like." He looked over as Mathias flipped through some different designs he came up with for Lars. Most of them were very similar to his other tattoos, badass almost tribal looking designs that were mostly black with some areas of gray.

"So what do you think? You got a favorite?" Lars grabbed the sketchbook carefully and flipped to the back page it was resting on when Mathias started showing him his art, a stylized sketch of the bouquet he received the other day from Lars colored brightly.

"I really like this one. Do you think it'll fit?" He asked, looking at the empty spot from the crook of his elbow to the side of his bicep. Mathias chuckled.

"In size, yes. But in design? It's very different, are you sure?" Lars nodded.

"Yeah. You said you wanted to add to the collection, so I want a tattoo that reflects your style." Mathias smiled.

"Oh. Well, thanks. I take that as a compliment," he said while flipping to a blank page. "Well, at least let me make it something personalized to you, okay?" He pulled his knees to his chest and rested the sketchbook on his thighs, leaning over to peer closely at Lars.

"Personalized, how?" Lars said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Mathias grinned before backing away.

"I'll make your tattoo special. Even if it's something in my style, it should be something you can identify with. Something that means something to you." Lars nodded.

"So, how do you go about that?" Mathias shrugged.

"Getting to know you. Figure out your likes, your dislikes, your personality... that kind of stuff, y'know?" He said without looking up from his sketchbook.

"So, what are you doing, now?" Lars peeked over. Mathias showed him the page, a detailed but cartoony sketch of Lars at the center and some different doodles along the side.

"Brainstorming. So, tell me some stuff about you."

"Like what?" Lars chuckled.

"Anything, really. Hmm," he hummed, pressing his pencil to his mouth. "Favorite color?"

"Black, probably." Mathias laughed softly.

"Black is a shade. Pick a color!"

"Why are you so particular? I don't know, blue probably."

"Nice! It's very calming, isn't it? Okay! Coffee, tea, or cocoa?"

"Coffee. What's with all the questions?"

"I'm getting to know you! What kind of coffee?" Lars shrugged.

"Flat white, usually." Mathias smiled, but with a slight grimace.

"Ooh, I can't really stand coffee like that. It's perfect just on it's own. But I usually go with hot cocoa more often. Anyways... favorite season?" Lars was still stuck on what Mathias said before. The hot cocoa didn't surprise him, but Mathias drinking coffee black definitely did. He didn't really seem like the type to like strong coffee.

"Probably spring." Mathias grinned.

"Should've seen that one coming, with all the flowers blooming at that time of year."

"Okay, well what about you? You're asking me all these questions, but I hardly know anything about you." Mathias looked over his sketchbook curiously before setting it aside.

"Do you want me to answer? Okay! My favorite color's red-- the color of passion, though I do like a nice light green too. I like black coffee, but prefer hot cocoa best, with sprinkles! And my favorite season's fall. I like getting to wear really big sweaters, and seeing all the colors from the leaves changing." He grinned at Lars. Lars smiled back softly.

"Sprinkles, huh?"

"Yeah! Especially rainbow sprinkles! It makes it look really cute. Can I go on asking you stuff?" Lars nodded.

"Okay. But you have to answer them too."

"No problem! Cats, or dogs?"

"Cats, probably. But I actually like bunnies better." He smiled while Mathias lit up.

"Aw, I love bunnies! They're so cute! Hmm, out of cats and dogs, I like dogs best. They have such a playful spirit! Favorite artist?"

"I like a lot of Van Gogh's work, he was really talented."

"Yeah he was! I like Van Gogh too!" Mathias continued to scribble in his sketchbook before continuing.

"What's your favorite kind of flower?" Lars laughed while groaning.

"You're making me choose? Ugh, hmm... tulips?" He said almost as a question.

"Are you sure?" Mathias asked while laughing.

"I guess. What about you?" Lars grinned. Mathias seemed to light up when he looked over at Lars.

"I like any, really. But if I have to choose, uhm, I like roses. Call me traditional," he shrugged. "Favorite app or social media?"

"Instagram, probably. I like being able to take and see pictures. It's good advertisement too, sometimes." Mathias nodded.

"I like Instagram, but I'm torn between that and Tumblr." He set the sketchbook aside after and continued smiling at Lars, not breaking his stare. Lars looked over his shoulder before back at Mathias, trying to figure out what he was looking at.

"Why are you staring?" Mathias shrugged.

"Jus' studying ya. Gotta know the canvas, y'know?" He leaned over closer, resting his hands on his knees. Lars backed away slightly, trying too hard not to stare at Mathias. After a few moments though, he gave up and looked over at Mathias. He didn't have any glitter on his cheeks today, but his faint freckles were still prominent against his pale but warm-toned skin. His eyes seemed like a deeper blue than before, but still bright with happiness and scrunched slightly with a smile. Mathias' smile grew.

"You know you're staring, right?"

"Well, so are you," Lars said, trying not to sound too defensive.

"But I'm doing it for a reason. Do you have a reason, too?" Mathias grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. Lars scoffed.

"Trying not to feel uncomfortable? Does that work for you?" He smiled slightly, trying to show he wasn't mad though he might've sounded it. Mathias held his hands and moved away from Lars.

"Okay, okay. Point taken. I think I got all I need to know for now to design your tattoo. For now. Would you be alright coming by again, so I can show you some more designs?" Lars nodded.

"Yeah, I don't mind." Mathias' always present smile grew.

"Cool! I'm closing up for the night, so I don't mean to kick you out, but I gotta get home sometime." Lars smiled.

"No, it's alright. Do you want me to help with anything?" Mathias shook his head while grabbing his things from the back.

"Nah, everything's all good for the night." He lead the way out, flicking the lights off before closing the door behind the two of them and locking up. "I appreciate the thought though. And the company, thanks for coming by! When are you coming in again?"

"How does Monday work? That gives you some time to work on different designs, and then if you want to take the weekend off." Mathias nodded.

"Yeah, that's perfect! I'll see you then!" Mathias said before leaving with a wave in Lars' direction. Lars waved back, smiling the whole time he walked towards his car. Mathias might have some odd behaviors, but he was definitely fun to be around, Lars decided.

The next morning, Lovino greeted Lars with his usual cup of coffee while Lars was busy at work. Lovino placed the cup on the counter after announcing his arrival, looking at it almost scrutinizing it.

"'Morning," Lars said, his eyes going wide in surprise as he took a sip. Lovino smiled softly with a laugh.

"I figured that was something you wouldn't order. When Antonio said you wanted a hot cocoa, I was surprised!" Lars swallowed the hot liquid with a surprise.

"I'm surprised, too. Did he say anything about why?" Lovino shrugged, putting his hand out to stop Lars pulling money out.

"It's been paid for already. I think it has something to do with the note that Antonio said the guy requested when he called it in." Lars looked at the writing on the side and laughed softly.

"Mathias did this, didn't he?" Lovino raised his eyebrow.

"Are you two dating or something?"

"What? No," Lars said defensively. "I'm sure friends can buy each other coffee with nice notes on it." Lovino scoffed.

"Sure they can. They can also stay at each other's stores for no reason until late." He smiled knowingly. "That's how it always starts..." Lars rolled his eyes.

"You two are being so nosy. How come?"

"We got a bet," Lovino replied.

"A bet?" Lars asked unimpressed.

"Yeah. That's all I can say though. 'Tonio and I decided if we were to tell either of you what it was about, it wouldn't work as well." Lars huffed.

"Well, that's great. As long as you two don't start meddling too much, I don't care. Does Mathias know?" Lovino grinned.

"Why do you wanna know?"

"Because I'm curious."

"Well, I'm not sure. Antonio might've told him, but I didn't." Lars nodded, taking another sip now expecting it to be hot cocoa.

"I got one question for you though-- why? He's so happy, and he just seems so different from you." Lovino asked. Lars shrugged.

"Why'd you choose Antonio?"

"Because he wouldn't leave me the hell alone," Lovino grumbled before smiling. "But in all honesty, it's because he was persistent, and just so friendly. He makes me feel special." Lars nodded.

"Well, that's the same with Mathias. You've talked to him before, so you know how friendly he is." Lovino nodded.

"Yeah. He's got way too much energy, though. He's like a kid on too much sugar. Except the kid is six-foot-something and dressed like a soft aesthetic blog." Lars shrugged.

"I think it's cute that he's so energetic. He's like if a puppy became a person. A really happy and energetic puppy-man."

"Of course you'd think that, you have a crush on him!" Lovino said. "Anyways, I should head back. Let us know when you two finally get together!" Lovino called out while leaving. Lars flipped him off casually while taking a sip from his drink.

Lars was busy cleaning up for the weekend, making sure all the flowers had water and that they would be over the weekend when the phone went off.

"Hello, Lars' floral. How can I help?" He answered the phone. There was some muttered whispers before it sounded like the phone was passed along to someone.

"Hello, I'd like to order a bouquet," the voice on the other line said. Lars grabbed a pen and notepad from by the register.

"Alright, no problem. What arrangement would you like?" More whispering came before a reply.

"Can you do a dozen English roses? It's not really for any kind of occasion, so anything goes." Lars started writing.

"Any specific color? And what's the delivery address?" Even more whispering, this time Lars could make out the words 'No, don't you dare!'

"Not really. It's for someone special, so how would you make it? If it was for someone you cared about?" The voice followed with the address, which Lars scribbled. When thinking about the question, Lars looked over at the colorful shop across from him.

"For someone I like? I'd go with something colorful, but not too bright. Pinks and reds are a good choice for color, since they can show different feelings like love and passion. Anything soft, really. You don't wanna go too overboard, y'know?"

"That sounds perfect! When's the soonest you can bring it by?"

"I'm about to close for the weekend, so probably Monday at the soonest. If it's for someone really special though, I'm sure we can work something out." There was a rustling sound as the phone was passed again.

"That, uh, that won't be necessary! Monday works well!" The new voice said cheerfully.

"Okay, so Monday. I'll make sure it's one of the first to go out, so around ten in the morning?"

"That sounds perfect!" Lars confirmed the information and ran the caller's card before hanging up. He sighed before starting to work on the arrangement-- deciding on a mixture of burgundy and purple. Sure, it was late, but it sounded really important to whoever those two were. And the third person in the background, they sounded like they were too nervous to call. He smiled softly. It's not like he knew them, so why was that third person so worked up over a phone call? Love sure is weird, he thought. Maybe he was in love. It was really soon to be in love with Mathias already, but there's different kinds of love. Not to mention that Mathias was just so likable. Maybe a little annoying with how happy he always seemed to be, but it was endearing. He made the bouquet as he would if it was for Mathias, like the caller asked, and put it with his other deliveries before closing up for the weekend and going home late.

Lars stopped by Antonio and Lovino's café first thing Monday morning before starting deliveries. He was honestly a little excited to see the reaction from the call he got Friday night, so he went as quickly ad he could to get to deliver that one. He made it to the address, a small apartment not far from his shop. He knocked on the door and waited until it was opened.

"I've got a delivery for--" he cut himself off in surprise when he saw a very disheveled Mathias.

"Lars? Hey!" Lars was frozen because oh dear, he was hot. Mathias had on a pair of fluffy blue pajama pants and no shirt on, leaving his muscular chest exposed.

"Hey," he finally replied with a smile. "I got these for you. If I had known this address was yours, I might've waited instead of waking you up." Mathias waved his hand dismissively before grabbing the flowers.

"Nah, it's fine. They're beautiful, thanks! Who ordered them?" Lars shrugged.

"There was two people that called." Mathias immediately looked annoyed, but still smiling somehow.

"Did one of them sound like he'd be really scary, and the other really happy?" Lars shrugged.

"I wouldn't say scary about the first one, but the other guy was definitely happy." Mathias chuckled.

"Of course they did..." he muttered. "I know who called it in. I'll get them for this, don't worry!" Lars chuckled.

"Get them for what?" Mathias shrugged, but the look in his eyes and blush on his cheeks showed he knew.

"I dunno. Hey, help me come up with a plan to get back at them later tonight!" Lars nodded.

"Sounds good to me." Mathias grinned while Lars turned to leave, pulling him on a tight hug before waving and shutting the door. Lars stood in front of his door for a few moments, trying to get his heart to calm down. It was beating so fast, and he really didn't want to chase after it. As he walked back to his car, he knew right then he was done in for-- he definitely liked him. Mathias was so adorable and happy, but he was also hot! There was no way he could get over this any time soon. And if what he saw was right, he wouldn't have to. He might have a chance.

Lars showed up to Mathias' shop later after seven, so he had time to clean up before. Mathias smiled when he saw Lars before playfully pouting when he saw he was empty-handed.

"What, no flowers?" Lars laughed softly.

"I gave you some this morning! Besides, if I keep giving you flowers, they'll take over your whole shop." Mathias smiled.

"But that would be cool! I like flowers!" Lars laughed.

"It really means that much?"

"Yeah!" Mathias replied eagerly, running across the shop and running back with his sketchbook. "I got a whole bunch of new things to show you," he said while flipping through to what he was looking for. Lars leaned over and looked at the drawings Mathias showed him. Some were very rough, but as Mathias explained them, Lars could see where he was going with the ideas.

"What do you think? Which is your favorite?" Lars smiled.

"I like them all. You're a very talented artist, but, uh... what about you? Which is your favorite?" Mathias looked surprised.

"Mine? Uhm... I think this one," he flipped a few pages to show a drawing covering the full page of the roses Lars gave him that morning in an almost abstract style. The outlines were dark, and the coloring was very similar to Van Gogh's paintings, with different areas looking like they were splattered with paint over the edges of the flowers. The drawing took Lars' breath away.

"I... wow," Lars chuckled. "That's the one. That's what I want to have you tattoo on me. It's beautiful." Mathias smiled while blushing.

"You think so?" Lars nodded, smiling back.

"Oh yeah. It's really good. When do you wanna start inking it on me?" Mathias shrugged.

"Why not now? I can trace it onto some transfer paper real quick, and then start the outline and some other line work now." Lars smiled.

"I got a better idea. It's getting kind of late, so how about you just start with the transfer, and then we can go out to get something to eat. You haven't had dinner yet, have you?" Mathias shook his head.

"Not yet. I was about to, though! Right after I got started with your tattoo..." Lars scoffed.

"That would take a while. Come on, let's get something to eat. My treat." Lars stood up and started heading towards the door.

"But, the tattoo..." Mathias started, looking towards Mathias confused. "Isn't that what you want?" Lars shrugged.

"I mean, yeah, it looks cool. It'll come out great. But, you've been in here all day, and I've been driving around all day doing deliveries. I wanna make sure we're both taking care of ourselves. C'mon," Lars walked backed towards Mathias and placed his hand on his shoulder. Mathias smiled dreamily at Lars, placing his hand on top of Lars' while standing.

"Alright, alright. Only because you asked so nicely." Lars smiled back and lead the way out. On the way over to Lars' car (they decided to take his since it was closer, though not by much), he saw Antonio and Lovino sitting at one of their tables talking. They both waved to them, but was Lars was the only one to notice the thumbs-up and excited smile Antonio gave him and the less-excited smile Lovino had while they waved back. He rolled his eyes while moving closer to Mathias as they reached his car.

They ate together at a small restaurant down the road Mathias swore by. At first glance, Lars could understand why he was so enamored with the place. Most of the decoration was a variety of plants and flowers, and a lot of the light was string lights that somehow seemed dim, but with enough kept the place well lit.

"This place seems a lot like you," Lars commented before taking a sip from his water. Mathias looked up curiously while playing with the swizzle stick in his lemonade.

"What do you mean?"

"The whole, eh, aesthetic of the place. It's soft, and comfortable. You give off a similar vibe." Mathias smiled.

"Aw, you think I'm soft?"

"Well, yeah," Lars replied with a soft smile. "You dress in soft colors, you just look really soft and adorable... it's hard to explain, but you just are." He chuckled. Mathias' smile grew.

"I'm so glad. Sometimes, people really don't think I'm nice or anything, that I just dress it. 'Guess it's cause I look kinda tough without the flowers and stuff." He shrugged.

"I don't see anything wrong with you looking tough, or soft, or however you wanna look. It doesn't take away from how nice you are."

"You know what, Lars? You're a nice guy, too. I like being around you," Mathias grinned, "You're not judgemental, or anything. You're way friendlier than you let off, too." Lars tilted his head before Mathias continued after taking a sip from his drink.

"It's all the black. And the piercings. You look kinda like you'd be in a mosh pit instead of a garden. But, I like it. It defies stereotypes." Lars smiled.

"We both kinda crush stereotypes, don't we?" Mathias smiled back.

"Yeah we do! And it's awesome! We're a couple of oddballs, making our way in a world full of generalizations!" Mathias said eagerly, his eyes bright enough from excitement and happiness to light all around them for at least a block away. Lars couldn't help but smile along. Their orders were brought out shortly after. Once they were finished, Lars paid for the meal and walked back with Mathias to his car. Mathias walked closely beside Lars, latching on to Lars' hand after his brushed it a few times. Lars squeezed Mathias' hand in his to say it was alright without breaking the comfortable silence between the two of them. Lars looked over at Mathias, who was smiling up at him. Lars stopped walking, still staring at Mathias. Under the streetlights, his confused eyes seem to radiate more than usual, and the warmth of his rosy cheeks brought his freckles out even more.

"Can I kiss you?" Lars asked without thinking. Mathias blushed even more, laughing nervously.

"I...uh-- sure? You don't... You don't have to ask, y'know. I like you enough to be okay with kissing you, I'm holding your hand, after all." He held up his hand joined with Lars' to demonstrate his point. Lars smiled.

"Yeah, but I still think it's polite to ask." He leaned over and kissed Mathias' cheek softly before continuing towards his car. Mathias laughed softly, his free hand brushing against his cheek.

"You could've kissed me on the lips..." he sounded slightly disappointed, Lars noticed. When they reached his car, Lars moved closer and kissed Mathias' lips, pulling him closer gently by his hands, one on Mathias' neck and the other around his waist. Mathias hummed softly and wrapped his arms around Lars, moving closer. Lars pulled away and smiled softly. Mathias smiled back as he got into Lars' car, his smile so large the corners of his eyes were squished together into a squint.

"Go out with me?" Mathias asked. Lars pecked his lips and smiled.

"Yeah."

A few weeks passed after their first date, but both of them kept their relationship fairly quiet. That was, until Antonio came into Lars' shop that morning with his coffee.

"Hey, Lars?" Antonio asked, handing him his coffee.

"Hmm?" He asked while taking a sip. Antonio looked at his elbow and smiled.

"Is that new?" Lars hummed in response and nodded.

"Yeah. 't's cool, isn't it?" He smiled fondly at the colorful tattoo.

"It is! You must like it a whole lot, to be wearing something with short sleeves in the fall." Lars shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

"Money for the coffee is over there," he pointed towards the other side of the counter, close to the door. Mathias walked in as Antonio went to collect the money. He greeted Antonio before walking behind the counter and pecking Lars' cheek.

"'Morning, dear. Ooh, what's that?" He asked while carefully picking up the arrangement.

"One of the deliveries. I got the one you wanted for your friends all loaded up." He smiled.

"Thanks. I really want them to know how much appreciate that small thing they did, having you deliver to my apartment." He kept one arm wrapped around Lars. Antonio was smiling as if he was about to explode from happiness.

"Ooh, I knew you two would get together! You should've seen him after he first met you, oh my god!" Mathias laughed while looking over at Lars, who was glaring a hole through Antonio.

"What was he like?" Mathias asked excitedly. Lars sighed.

"I might've... buried my face against the counter and screamed a little? You're just so adorable, I can't help it." He said while blushing slightly. Antonio laughed.

"I wasn't going to say that, but that's even better! That proves what I told you, you are in love!" Mathias' smile grew.

"Aw, that is adorable! You're such an adorable guy, Lars!" He poked Lars' cheek. Lars swatted his hand away playfully.

"I'm gonna have to go make deliveries soon, you two realize, right?" Lars asked while his face flushed. Antonio smiled while heading for the door.

"Alright, alright. I'll let you two say goodbyes. And collect my money from Lovi!" He said before leaving with a wave. Mathias giggled.

"I can't believe they bet on us." Lars shrugged, giving Mathias a hug.

"Me either." He kissed Mathias once, twice, lingering a third time. Mathias pulled away and gently grabbed Lars' arm.

"Is it healing alright?" He surveyed the sight of his new tattoo. Lars laughed softly while pulling his arm away.

"It's fine. You should get back to your shop." Mathias nodded, kissing Lars one last time before walking back across the way. He blew him a kiss before entering his shop. Lars caught it and smiled before locking the front door and going around the back to his car and loading up deliveries for the day.

A/N: each bouquet listed had a specific meaning, so here's what the meant based off what I found on google! -peach roses: appreciation, enthusiasm; anemones(couldn't find a meaning specific to color): good look -light red carnations: admiration; yellow roses: friendship -burgundy roses: unrealized love; purple roses: enchantment, love at first sight

#nedden week 2017 #nedden week #nedden #aph netherlands #aph denmark #aph #hetalia #axis powers hetalia

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danschkade · 7 years

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PAGE x PAGE ANALYSIS — ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69 (2005) with special guest AUD KOCH

Dan Schkade and Aud Koch (right)

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69

PUBLISHED: Marvel Comics, January 2005

SCRIPT: Brian Michael Bendis

PENCILS: Mark Bagley

INKS: Scott Hanna

COLORS: J.D. Smith with Chris Sotomayor

LETTERS: Chris Eliopoulos

EDITORIAL: Ralph Macho with Nick Lowe

Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley wrote and drew ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN for one hundred and eleven consecutive monthly issues. Can you even imagine.

(I, by contrast, drew WILL EISNER’S THE SPIRIT for twelve consecutive monthly issues and barely made it out with all my fingers still intact.)

Neither or them went into this cold — Bendis cut his teeth on a long series of hard-edged indie crime thrillers like AKA GOLDFISH and TORSO, while Bagley had been a regular Marvel Comics fixture since the eighties, with a strong history drawing Spider-Man in particular. But they both hit their stride on ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN, kicking out a new version of the character that felt fresh and familiar and, in the process, creating one of the most consistently entertaining superhero comics this side of EMPOWERED. My personal MVPs: their new versions of Aunt May, Daredevil, and the surprisingly affecting mega-narrative of the Ultimate Green Goblin. And that ending — ho man, that ending.

The issue we’ll be looking at this week, ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69: “MEET ME,” takes place more or less in the middle of their mammoth hundred and eleven issue run. And that’s part of why I chose it — the goal of this feature is to take solid, workmanlike comics from professionals who know what they’re about and see what makes them tick, but also to see what we can learn from their mistakes. Mister Bagley’s credentials are unimpeachable; I’d place him up with John Romita JR and Andy Kubert as one of my top living artists of straight-up old-school Marvel-style Super Hero Comics. But mid-run slippage is inevitable, and sometimes the shortcuts of a good artist can be just as useful to pick apart as the abject failures of a bad one.

I also picked this issue because I thought it’d be a good fit for my guest: comic artist Aud Koch, one my favorite people to talk theory with and someone whose output I’m both impressed by on a peer level and super into on a fan level. Even though this is the first time I’ve had a guest on this feature and I only half know what I’m doing, Aud was still willing to sit down and help me beta test the tandem Page X Page Analysis experience like a mensch. Now, Aud’s the nicest person you’ll meet in a year, but she’ll also tell you exactly what she thinks and damn the torpedoes. She’ll make some poor young artist cry one of these days. She’ll feel just awful about it, too. My point is: I didn’t exactly pick her name out of a hat for this, y’know?

With that, let’s go to the transcript!

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69 and all characters contained therein are property of Marvel Comics, reproduced here solely for educational purposes.

PAGE ONE

DAN: So, Aud: are you of the opinion that a single issue should be a complete story in and of itself?

AUD: That depends on what the intention of the writer is. I think this one is fine without being that way — I mean, this whole series is set up like a teen drama show. They always have cliffhangers.

DAN: And “previously ons…”

DAN: There’s certainly a lot more boring ways you could start an issue off.

AUD: It’s definitely eye-catching, but an immediate problem is: who’s the main character? You’d think from the first panel that it’s Liz. Or Johnny, who’s the one with the big action shot. But no, it’s actually those tiny little figures in the corner.

DAN: We’re not really getting much from her expression in panel one.

AUD: Which is a problem that I had throughout a lot of the comic. The expressions felt slightly off to me.

DAN: I would have to agree. The point of this exercise is not to nitpick, but sometime small details really do go a long way towards keeping a page from working.

AUD: Later on, there’s that scene that’s entirely just Peter and MJ standing around talking to Johnny for like four, five pages, so it entirely rests on the acting that Bagely does through characters, but there’s no movement happening at all. Bagley doesn’t do the thing where he makes everything a soap opera, which is good, but he also can leave his figures rather flat.

PAGE TWO

DAN: The game’s upped quite a bit here. I feel like we get a lot more from the expressions. Bagley has a great model for the Human Torch — he’s able to suggest emotions and facial details even though he’s all flamed up.

AUD: The artistry of the flames on Johnny is really beautiful. Looking at it now, these last three panels should have been the first ones of the issue.

DAN: Mm, yeah! We’d start off with Johnny looking down at our main characters. Because it really is Peter and Johnny’s interaction that the issue hinges on — Liz’s story is a secondary thing, even though she’s the first character we see in this issue. Bagley and inker Scott Hanna do a good job of suggesting the city in the panel one background, giving the scene a good sense of pace; They’re not in the Mojave desert, they’re on a beach near New York.

AUD: Something I found a bit distracting though is — what the hell is going on with that moon? Like, that’s not a moon! It’s a warty… mass!

DAN: Fair enough. And it’s funny because the city’s so nicely abstracted, while the moon is — I feel you there.

AUD: It’s like a giant tumor in the sky!

DAN: I also have a little problem with Liz’s motion in panel two.

AUD: Yes! She should be be running away from Jonny and off the page. That way she’d be looking back at him as she make her exit off the page.

DAN: Yeah, I think that would be better.

PAGE THREE

DAN: Here we have another juicy Human Torch splash image…

AUD: See, that’s another money shot — storytelling-wise, it would have made more sense if it was us looking up at Johnny from where Peter and MJ were standing, seeing him him shooting off into the distance from their point of view. This one looks like we’re about to follow Johnny off on some… flame adventure.

DAN: You’re right, it really does feel like we’re transitioning to his POV, when that’s clearly not what’s going on.

AUD: Bagley also didn’t take into account where speech bubbles would go. you can see that the letterer was like “what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

DAN: Yeah, they’re spillin’. He could’ve dropped the figures a little bit.

AUD: The only reason it doesn’t fit is because Bagley wanted to leave room for this image of Johnny shooting off, which again, storytelling-wise, doesn’t really work.

DAN: One thing I do really like about those bottom three panels — they’re this nice narrative unit, small and cramped and comic booky in the corner to offset the splashy sci-fi spectacle of Johnny shooting off into the night above. It makes MJ’s dialogue, which is think is pretty funny here, even funnier by comparison — it’s like a small comedy aside.

AUD: But then, they are the main characters…

DAN: They are the main characters! Good point.

PAGE FOUR

DAN: Alright, here we are back in the Baxter Building.

AUD: This is one where it was really, like, these expressions are so flat… it doesn’t carry the scene.

DAN: One art thing I have trouble with here… I don’t know if Sue is his mom or the same age as him. I have trouble placing her.

AUD: Well, the only reason you’d know that is because she says “little brother,” which I feel like Bendis might have added because it wasn’t clear.

DAN: It’s a problem when you have a character who’s supposed to be a teenager, which Sue clearly is —

AUD: Wait, she’s a teenager?

DAN: I mean, is she not?

AUD: [Laughs] She probably is…!

DAN: I mean, that’s a problem, we should know! And she’s wearing lipstick and whatnot…

AUD: It’s that hollywood syndrome! Women don’t wear makeup when they’re in let-down at home clothes. Ack.

DAN: That said, I think Bagley does a good job of moving the camera around. Even though there’s not a lot happening on this page, it’s not static. After Johnny says “leave me alone” in panel five, we cut to this nice, lonely panel with heavy shadows.

AUD: I don’t like the way they’re facing inward in that panel necessarily, though.

DAN: You’re rather maintain Johnny’s rightward positioning from the earlier panels, to maintain a sense of space?

AUD: I want his face to keep facing the bottom right corner, so if Sue’s off to the side, she’d be closer to the outside of the page, since she’s on the outside of him in the conversation.

DAN: Yeah! Johnny’s sitting still and staring in one direction, so we really should we moving around with Sue, not moving around with Johnny, who’s stationary. That’s a really good point. Also — I like the hot pretzel line in panel four. That was something specific to them that nicely places them as siblings. Sometimes that little element of specificity can really help sell a scene.

AUD: The devil is in the details!

DAN: The devil’s in the details.

PAGE FIVE

AUD: Bagley does do really good backgrounds. That feels like a school.

DAN: Mm! What are the elements that cement that for you?

AUD: Well, it’s not generic. The front of that building is really nice. That’s a building that I’ve never seen before, and that I haven’t seen in movies, which is good because that means he isn’t doing the pruned-down, basic idea of what a school should look like.

DAN: Yeah! And it’s still got the cement walls, it’s got the low ceilings and whatnot.

AUD: All of the people in the backgrounds are doing things, which is awesome. They’re not just standing around like props.

DAN: It’s true. And then also, they’re not overacting. You’re right, he’s really good at that. A couple nice little touches — the back of this guy’s t-shirt, the Home Ec textbook. We didn’t need those details to place it as a school, but they do add some variety. I feel like the pacing in these last three panels are not as good as the writing is. The panels three and four are setting up her reaction in panel five, so it’s weird to me that panels four and five in this sequence are sub-panels of panel three. I would rather have the first two take place in the same plane. Setup, setup, then payoff.

AUD: My major beef with the sequence is: the reason that she feels so bad is everyone’s laughing at her, right, but we can’t see the people laughing at her.

DAN: We should see them laughing! It might even be better if we switched it so we don’t see many people in the panel three, and then see them all in panel five.

AUD: Yeah, do it so it’s just MJ and Liz at first, and you get the growing sense of her being surrounded by these glaring entities.

[Aud’s edit, version 1:]

DAN: Or! Have panels three and four right next to each other in their own row, then have panel five be a wide panel along the bottom of the page. I think that would be a superior version of an already fairly solid page.

[Aud’s edit, version 2:]

DAN: The scene is also very mid-2000s, which I appreciate.

AUD: That’s another thing with his setting! It does really look like the time period it was drawn in, which is fun.

DAN: Yeah, it’s not just the stock comic book teenagers. I think that’s why this series was so popular when it came out. It really did feel like high school, despite the fact nobody working on it was… matriculating.

PAGE SIX

DAN: I like that Johnny’s car is red. I think that’s a slick color cue.

AUD: The only thing I have to say is… Bagley consistently does these weird perspectives that throw you out of following who the main characters are supposed to be. Like, I don’t like that opening panel. There’s something off about looking down on them.

DAN: Ohh, yeah. That’s a good point. The camera isn’t down with them, it’s distant, it’s above. There’s a nice line of motion where Peter and MJ in panel one lead into Peter’s position in panel two, but then Bagely breaks it immediately by switching the camera around in panel three. That said, I do really like Johnny’s incognito-wear.

AUD: [Laughs] Talking about early 2000s…

DAN: Right? I love it.

PAGE SEVEN

DAN: So, like you said earlier, these Peter and MJ talking to Johnny pages are a little bit — well, there’s not a lot happening.

AUD: I feel like the scenes where there’s just people standing around give you the most room to, like, wander and throw in creative things. Do fun acting, have them fidget. This does not do that.

DAN: I do like that close-up of MJ in panel two. It helps us identify with her; it sells her curiosity and her sympathy. A different version of this panel might have had her farther away, in which case that line could have sounded a lot more accusatory. I feel like this averts that.

AUD: All of these pages are superficially fine. There’s a good variation of sizes of faces… I don’t look at this like, “I don’t know how to read this,” which is nice.

DAN: Being able to read the comic is very important. Yeah, the drawings are all really attractive, the coloring is good as well — it works together well as a package. I think what we’re harping on here is unfulfilled potential.

AUD: Yes!

DAN: Speaking of color, I like what colorist JD Smith did with the sky. It sells the end of the school day really nicely and avoids being just “sky colored!”

PAGE EIGHT

DAN: I like the negative space on this page.

AUD: Yeah, that is interesting…

DAN: Really nice flow of action from panels one to three. Johnny’s head turns slightly between the first and third panel, which sells this beat of silence in panel two. And I like dropping out the panel border in three; it makes him feel alone and insecure. I wish there was more stuff like this in the issue.

AUD: And I wish there was more stuff like Peter’s stance in panel five.

DAN: Yeah! One foot up on the curb, one in the gutter. That’s really nice.

AUD: Whereas in all these other panels, they’re just standing straight.

DAN: This is a very attractive final panel.

PAGE NINE

DAN: More great negative space on this page. You almost feel like Bagley started to get bored in this scene and started to change things up.

AUD: Which yeah, if only he had… done that earlier?

DAN: Same thing with Peter’s silhouette in panel three. It’s a really intelligent use of Peter’s design, indicating him by just his the line of his floppy hair.

AUD: Which, if I remember correctly, there was quite a bit of mocking of throughout every comic he appeared in.

DAN: And I like that! I like that Peter has goofy nerd hair. Because he’s a goofy nerd — that’s a big part of his appeal. When Peter Parker is too cool, he starts to fall apart, I think.

AUD: Panel six is bad.

DAN: [Laughs] Why is panel six bad, Aud?

AUD: Okay, so, once again, we’re coming from Peter and MJ’s perspective, but we’re in front of Johnny’s car. He’s driving into where we’re standing! Why would you not have him be driving away from the viewer? Bagley consistently puts the motion of action towards the viewer, and that doesn’t make sense to me.

DAN: It makes for a more dynamic image, but… it can make for muddy storytelling.

AUD: Yeah, it makes the motion come to a halt, because there’s nowhere for your eye to go.

DAN: I feel like this comic really thinks Johnny’s the main character. And I just… don’t… think he is. Maybe that’s on me.

PAGE TEN

DAN: More of that curious downward angle. Yeah, I’m with you — I’d rather have more environment shots from the ground. Because this doesn’t really tell me anything about the environment — all I get from this is that they’re still approximate to the parking lot. And as an artist, if you’re in a rush, you’re just begging to make technical mistakes if you keep shooting things from this angle.

AUD: Yep.

DAN: But, again, credit where it’s due, good job moving the camera around the characters. Nice full body acting in panel three — which is shot from the ground, and is super attractive. Maybe he should do more of that! I dunno! And Peter and MJ’s dialogue continues to be funny.

AUD: It’s delightful!

DAN: Bendis is aware this is magic, and he gives us a good amount of it.

AUD: Yes! Going back to the teen drama — what makes this so good is the personality of the characters and how much they come through. The dialogue carries it a whole lot.

DAN: This comic has a nice small cast — you understand all their motivations, they all have distinct voices and personalities. The human element is really well put together.

PAGE ELEVEN

AUD: This page — I hate this page.

DAN: [Laughs]

AUD: Okay, I don’t hate it, but I have major issues reading it.

DAN: Tell me!

AUD: The first two panels are fine, but then — where the hell are you supposed to go??

DAN: That’s a good point! That’s a very good point. Now, If I block out panel three—

AUD: It works! You don’t need that panel!

DAN: Really, all we’d need is to change Johnny in panel four, from looking around to looking up at Peter. The reason why he’s looking around isn’t super clear — since Johnny is supposed to be under wraps, I’m assuming that when he sees Spider-Man, he’s looking around to see if there’s other costumed people who’re gonna jump him. We can do without that.

AUD: Okay, other funny thing — as you said, Bagley thinks that Johnny is the main character. This is supposed to be from Spider-Man’s point of view, right? So the first shot should be from where Spider-Man is seeing him. Even if you don’t see Spidey in the shot.

DAN: Well, yeah, that would be a nice shot/reverse shot from panel two to panel three. It’s funny; in panel two, we actually WANT Bagley to do the down angle.

AUD: Yeah!

DAN: There’s an easy fix for this wonky reading order that keeps all the panels:

You drop panel three half an inch and make panel two a page-wide environment shot. It’s a subtle difference, but I think it strengthens the flow of the scene.

AUD: And also, why do we even need the time? Just to show it’s been a while since school got out?

DAN: It’s shows — He’s supposed to meet Liz at 5:00, and this shows it’s been… longer. It also shows that Spidey was allowing for the possibility that Liz would show up. He doesn’t just pop up at 5:00.

AUD: Ahhh, right. Okay. Yeah. But why is Johnny wearing the costume? Like, if he’s incognito, why is he wearing the Fantastic Four costume?

DAN; Well… I guess, in this universe, nobody knows it’s a Fantastic Four costume yet.

AUD: But he’s still obviously wearing some kind of uniform.

DAN: I dunno, maybe he just came from, y’know, street luging.

AUD: [Laughs]

DAN: Still rocking his street luge gear.

AUD: “…Street luge…”

PAGE TWELVE

DAN: Okay, so I really like the arc of Spider-Man’s movement on this page. It starts mid panel one, comes up and down in a nice arc across the top three panels. That’s really cool.

AUD: However; it would’ve made more sense to me if it started with his face pointing in some way towards the right.

DAN: I agree that would be a little bit better; even if his head was just cheated that way a little bit. I still think this works fine, but that would’ve been a slight improvement.

AUD: Even if the body was just flipped.

DAN: Ah, yeah, yeah! That’s good. Even just inverting Spidey’s position in panel one makes it that much smoother:

AUD: It still trips my letting thing. You want to read straight down from panel one into panel four.

DAN: Yeahhhh, that is unfortunate.

PAGE THIRTEEN-FOURTEEN

DAN: So, this is great.

AUD: Yes, except… okay, I do like it. But for me, it was another lettering issue. I feel like they were hesitant to put any dialogue in in panels two, four, and seven because there was so little room to the left of the fold. Maybe if those panels had been extended half an inch, they could’ve… I don’t know…

DAN: I think I disagree with you on this one. I think that they chose to make it a quasi double-page splash because Bendis wanted this moment to exist all at once, without risking it being split up by ads. I think that’s why it’s cheated over the fold this way. That said… the balloon placement in panel four is distracting.

AUD: Yeah, you can tell there’s all this space above Spider-Man’s head where the dialogue was supposed to go.

DAN: It really shoulda been there. If this were a digital comic, that would’ve been perfect. I does weirdly work quite well in panel seven…

AUD: Because they put dialogue there!

DAN: There you are, then. Even if Spidey had said “um” in panel four, just to full in that space, that would’ve been an easy fix.

AUD: So, okay, this is a big moment; but why is it a big moment? Peter’s already seen his powers. We already know that’s what Johnny does. Is it that he’s revealing his “Human Torch” name?

DAN: Well, It’s a big moment for Johnny. Again, this issue thinks Johnny is the main character. So it’s a big moment for him… Peter’s reaction is still genuine, it’s still surprising to see a person, y’know, light their hand on fire. And also, it’s the first time in this universe where The Human Torch and Spider-Man are on the same page, so there’s a little bit of a fan nod there, plus a little bit of this being Johnny’s moment to reveal himself to, he thinks, a new person. Some of it is just a nice juicy visual on which to hang the rest of the scene. The dialogue in this scene is great. I like the idea of this scene. Johnny’s life is actively inconvenienced by Spider-Man — the way his life is set up is a direct reaction to Spider-Man’s existence. But he likes Spider-Man a lot, so they’re being friendly.

AUD: I like… I think I have a thing against power imbalances. Like, Peter and Johnny are on the same level, but with this scene, it’s like hero worship. Johnny’s like a fanboy, and Peter just allows that imbalance to continue. That’s a personal thing, I just don’t like it — except that at the end of the scene, it switches, where Peter becomes the fanboy for Sue Storm. So I did like that.

DAN: Yeah! You see it in panel five, which is where Peter and Johnny actually become friends, but it’s also where you see Peter changing the subject of him being rich, trying to protect the idea of him being rich — read, “cool.” But here in panel seven, he can’t help but reveal he’s not cool, because he’s such a big fan of Sue Storm.

AUD: I will say, throughout a lot of these scenes of pure dialogue — again, this is just a personal preference — you get these panels where there’s so much back and forth in the same panel, and I don’t like it. I like it when you get more of a focus on what the characters look like when they’re saying each individual line, so there’s more emotional hit to it. Here it’s all consolidated, so you don’t get as much personality from the characters.

DAN: Would you’ve liked if this comic had, let’s say, five more pages to it that just allowed a little more space for the back and forth between the characters?

AUD: Well, either prune down the dialogue, or… yeah, extend it, give the artist more room. But then again, I don’t know if Bagley would’ve really wanted more room — he doesn’t really seem to enjoy drawing these still dialogue moments.

DAN: Or maybe at this point he’s so used to them that he just kinda bangs ‘em out without thinking too hard. Which we could hardly fault him for.

AUD: Yeah! Issue… sixty-nine of a series?

DAN: Jeezy Petes. I don’t know if I already said something nice about JD Smith, but the colors are real swell here. The glow on Spidey’s chest in panel one.

AUD: One detail I really like is that his coat is actually on fire in panel two.

DAN: Oh yeah! That is a nice little touch. And now, this is an excellent final panel; an onomatopoeia leading off the page, they’re both looking in the same direction, off the page, towards the page turn, you gotta turn the page, you gotta know what’s gonna happen next…

PAGE FIFTEEN

DAN: I love this page.

AUD: Rrrrrreally.

DAN: I do! I do, and I’ll tell you why: It does the handoff of POV from character to character really effectively. So, this page is split into two equal circuits of storytelling. They have roughly the same layout; the first one is Spidey vaulting off — the webline’s going off the page in the right direction, he’s going off the panel into the negative space, it’s really dynamic. This is where Bagley’s ‘everything comes towards you’ thing really works. And then we end on Johnny’s reaction to this, which then transitions into the second circuit; this nice juicy Human Torch moment that mirrors Spider-Man’s. There’s a little joke, and then we stay on Johnny’s reaction in the last panel, a reaction that follows through from his other reactions on the page. So it’s a really effective handoff. And then, from the perspective of somebody who’s maybe meeting these characters for the first time, it’s cool to see how Spider-Man has to jump off the jungle gym and shoot a web and, y’know, he moves in THIS way, and meanwhile Human Torch can just straight up fly, he’s made of fire, he moves in THIS way… I mean, I could see experiencing this for the first time and really getting excited for these characters, the way they’re depicted on this page. What do you think?

AUD: That’s interesting, because I really disliked this page.

DAN: Ooh, tell me! Tell me why.

AUD: Well… I guess one of the things I’m personally most concerned about is the way the lines of action move within the structure of a single page. Not just the way that the characters are moving, but all of the composition. This page feels really cluttered to me; there’s all these different directions, and there’s so many different moments happening too, and none of them are given enough space.

DAN: In a way, I think you’re sort of right… what makes this page work for me is that there’s the two complete circuits, but a page is typically only supposed to be one.

AUD: What you said about Spider-Man having to climb off the jungle gym — I didn’t even realize that that’s what had happened there because there’s such a gap. I want to see him moving onto the jungle gym. In the first panel, I want more of a pause as they look at the smoke. I would’ve preferred smaller bits of them both going off.

DAN: Maybe we coulda cut down on some money shot panels and reallocated that space to give these two moments bigger moments on their own pages. I still really like this page, but I totally agree with your criticisms.

AUD: I also feel like that last panel should have maybe been the back of Johnny’s head, so we’re following him as he’s going somewhere? As it is, it’s just a static image of his face.

DAN: Mmm, yeah, I could see that.

PAGE SIXTEEN

AUD: It’s beautifully drawn. I really like the swoop of the smoke.

DAN: Yeah, Bagley’s smoke is really cool; all whispy and tendrily. It is a little bit weird to me that Spidey’s swinging left, into the page fold. I would rather have flipped Spidey’s figure so he’s facing right, maybe just jumping down with her in his arms, or with his web attached to the roof ledge. There’s some nice contrasting movement between Spidey and the smoke, but it’s still a little muddy to me.

AUD: Once more, who’s the main character on this page? You actually think it should be Johnny this time, carrying over from the last page.

DAN: Also: modern comics artists have finally stopped drawing that high-riding underwear on women, which I personally appreciate. Nobody liked that.

AUD: That was also never, like, a real thing that happened, even in the early 2000s.

DAN: This is a type of page layout I like a lot; you’ve got a tall, scene-setting panel, and then everything that follows is sort of a detail of that main setting. Panel two is nice; we’re clearly from Johnny’s perspective, looking down…

AUD: Except that time, it shouldn’t be! It should be focusing on Spider-Man!

DAN: Crap, you’re right! You’re totally right. The perspectives in panels one and two should be switched. We should be on the ground with Spider-Man and her looking up in panel two, and we should be with Johnny looking down on the scene in panel one.

PAGE SEVENTEEN

[Long, thoughtful shared pause]

DAN: Nice line of motion along those bottom panels… I hate this baby. I’m sorry.

AUD: That’s not a terrified baby! That’s a hungry baby opening its mouth for food.

DAN: I dunno, maybe she’s got a Spider-Man-colored bottle or something, so when he comes in the room she’s like, “oh thank god, I’m parched.”

AUD: I also don’t think panel four is entirely clear enough about what Johnny’s doing.

DAN: What if this panel were framed by the window? So we could see the fire going away from us, from inside the building, and towards Johnny.

AUD: Oh, that would be clever…

DAN: And then we can skew panel five just a little bit so it’s not just the same shot twice. Panel six is a really good panel.

AUD: It is a really good panel, yeah. Unfortunately, it is followed by a weird baby.

DAN: Oy. Such a weird baby.

PAGE EIGHTEEN

AUD: Panel one immediately gave me the feeling that it should be flipped. The direction of motion — it doesn’t look like he’s jumping out of the building.

DAN: He’s just coming down from heaven with a baby.

AUD: That’s what this looks like. Also, it would have helped a whole lot of his suit was singed.

DAN: Or if smoke was trailing off him, yeah.

AUD: In panel two, why are we looking at this from the very above again? Do it from Peter’s point of view! Actually, wait — if you move panel four up next to panel one…

DAN: Oh, yeah, that’d work. Because the Torch panels don’t tell us… much. And Bagley and company have my sympathies here, because showing a contiguous stream of flame coming out of the building and towards Johnny? I don’t know how I would show that.

AUD: I think the flames themselves are fine, but the swoop of the smoke around the border of panel two gets me.

DAN: This is an instance where the old Marvel style of captions talking about what’s happening would really help you out.

AUD: I mean, you need to be really careful with captions… actually if he were muttering something…

DAN: Oh yeah! Like, “Oh my god, he’s drawing the flame out of the building” or something.

AUD: Yeah! Yeah, that would work.

DAN: Or a panel where the babysitter like “What’s going on” and Peter’s like “I-I-I-I think he’s drawing the flame out of the building” and she’s like “How is he doing that” and he’s like “[weird noise plus awkward shrug]”

AUD: See, and that would have been awesome, just to add more personality and some nice moments between Peter and the crowd.

DAN: I mean, sure, he’s amazed at the Torch in panel four, but this would really sell the — well, anyway.

PAGE NINETEEN

AUD: We've talked about unfortunate ad placements before; I’d just like to point out that those are DC characters in a Marvel comic.

DAN: Right as things seem at their most dire — Batman and Superman pop up!

AUD: Come to save the day!

DAN: We got this, guys, don’t even worry about it. So, this page: I understand what’s happening here, but I wouldn’t if I hadn’t read a bunch of other comic books.

AUD: …Yes, because there’s not a sense of him getting rid of anything, it’s more like he’s channeling the energy to blow something up.

DAN: Yeah. That said, I like the sweeping top left/bottom right motion of the clouds, which adds a nice parallax to the bottom left/top right motion of the flames. And at least there, it’s popping off the the page, away from us.

AUD: And up where people are looking.

DAN: Yes! They’re following the line of action. That’s quite good.

AUD: And the colors on this panel are beautiful.

DAN: They really are. JD Smith clearly knows how to bring out the warmth and energy of the flame with these nice cool background colors. I have no idea why the cough was lettered like that —

AUD: I thought it was hilarious. It was for comedy, right, ‘cause he’s actually saying “cough?”

DAN: Oh! [Laughs]

AUD: At least that’s how I interpreted it, as a humor beat.

DAN: But then as we go on, we see that he’s actually coughing ‘cause of smoke inhalation.

AUD: Is he?

DAN: Here, put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that. That’s mostly a nitpick on what is overall a very strong page.

PAGE TWENTY

AUD: What the…?

DAN: What is happening in this first panel?

AUD: I think that’s Johnny flying off.

DAN: Oh!

AUD: To the park, to meet him again?

DAN: Yes.

AUD: But.

DAN: Maybe Johnny could have been smoldering there a little, in panel two?

AUD: You could have just not had panel one and have them just meet up again in the park.

DAN: Again, my sympathies to Bagley, because this flame stuff is… it doesn’t exist in the real world, so he’s gotta hack it out.

AUD: I do love the trails of the smoke in panel one. And that looks like a fucked up building.

DAN: Although! I think the colorist let us down a little there. This flamey bit coming out of the building should be smoke. It shouldn’t still be on fire.

AUD: That’s… definitely true! So: who’s the main character in this scene?

DAN: On this page, it seems like they’re both the main character. And after the scene we just had, I’m cool with them being equally important on this page.

AUD: Yeah. The jump between here and the next page wasn’t clear to me, though.

DAN: No. I mean, it’s a funny bit! I get it. But.

AUD: The ending on his face at the end of the page just didn’t hit right. I do like that body movement in panel three.

DAN: Again, when Bagley chooses to do acting, he does a really good job.

PAGE TWENTY ONE

DAN: Okay, so here’s where the downward angle really works. Again, I would have liked to have a little flame coming off him in panel two to show the transition from Torch to normal. Overall, I like this scene a lot. Like, Johnny having to lose his jacket is a nice narrative device to show the sacrifice of heroism.

AUD: Plus a metaphor of the police getting him. I will say that in all the comments about the acting, all of it was passable — except for panel four.

DAN: Really! Why?

AUD: Just bad acting!

DAN: You just think it’s, what, cheesy?

AUD: It’s cheesy and it does the soap opera thing.

DAN: Ah, fair enough. The script description, I assume was “Johnny lets the moment land, feels proud of himself.” Tough to pull off. But I hear ya.

AUD: And also he’s facing…

DAN: Yeah, have him face the other direction. Although, I do kind of like him looking off, taking this moment to himself —

AUD: But that’s part of what bugs me the most! Like, look at panel three — they’re not looking at each other. They don’t seem to be in the same interaction.

DAN: I think this page is a good example of problems with placing figures in space that Bagley has throughout.

AUD: Especially scenes that are just dialogue.

DAN: The scene were MJ and Peter are talking to Johnny in the parking lot earlier is helped because Johnny’s leaning against a landmark; his car. But when they’re a little more free form like this, the figures start to drift around.

AUD: I love that last panel.

DAN: It’s a great panel. I love the lighting on Spidey.

AUD: Johnny’s… beautiful?

DAN: [Laughs] He’s very pretty.

PAGE TWENTY TWO

DAN: Final page.

AUD: Another money shot of him! How many are in this fucking issue!

DAN: [Sighs.] I guess if I were choosing to defend this, I would say the initial money shot on page one —

AUD: Was fine.

DAN: Yes, it sells the chaos and the fear of what’s happening. This next one on page three —

AUD: Nope.

DAN: — if I wanted to defend it, I would say that was, like, Johnny flying off into the sky like Frankenstein’s Monster, and then this last one is him flying into the sky like a hero. It’s a progression.

AUD: [Snort.]

DAN: Your milage may vary. More great sweeping motion of the clouds that create a contrast to him flying away at us —

AUD: Another example of things flying out of the page.

DAN: This is just a personal thing, but I would have broken the panel boarders here at the top and had his hands reach out into the bleed.

AUD: Yeah, if he’s gonna do the big moment where he comes out towards you, have him come out towards you!

DAN: And panel two is a funny final beat that undercuts this big heroic moment with Peter coughing — that’s solid. The birds are bit much.

AUD: The buildings are nice, though. He draws nice buildings!

DAN: He does! He’s really good at drawing this comic. Mark Bagley, shocker, is a really good guy to be drawing a Spider-Man comic. He��s good at buildings, he’s good at dynamic action — he is good at acting. I think in this issue, we just see him being a little bit on auto pilot. There’s not a lot we can say is really wrong with this issue.

AUD: Yeah, if I picked it up I would happily read it. The structural elements of it were perfectly passable.

DAN: Yeah! It’s well-written. It keeps moving. And the final action set piece is a nice way to get them to team up and learn about each other, but only be interacting with each other; they don’t have to fight anybody. Y’know, Paste Pot Pete doesn’t show up and they have to team up against him.

AUD: This is the exact kind of comic I would love to have drawn! Yeah. It’s good. Well written. Very well written.

DAN: You could be a hell of a lot worse.

***

You can buy a copy of this issue on Comixology, along with every other issue of ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN.

You can also pick up Aud Koch’s Marvel Comics debut, last week’s ULTIMATES 2 #7, written by Al Ewing with colors by Dan Brown -- which I highly recommend.

Check out Aud’s website, and hit her up on twitter! She’s always posting new art -- including some Spidey and Torch stuff that gives you an idea what this comic might’ve looked like if Aud had ghosted Bagley.

As always, feel free to check me on any mistakes I/we might have made, add your own commentary, or share similar examples of good comics done well. I’ll be back next week with a different comic to peruse.

Be well!

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#Ultimate Spider-Man #Aud Koch #Comics #Educational Purposes #Brian Michael Bendis #mark bagley #Marvel Comics #The Human Torch #Spider-Man

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