#I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canisalbus · 4 months

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To me, Machete kind of has the energy of a secondary villain/coldhearted side character in someone else's story that a lot of fans latch onto, moreso than the protagonist. Question is, would he be the villain in anyone's story?

Why, thank you! I'm actually glad to hear he gives off that vibe. I don't think he set out to become a villain but a lot of people certainly view him as one.

#in the 16th century canon he starts out as an introverted but sincerely well meaning guy that never quite manages to find his social niche #he was a sensitive kid and when subjected to enough pressure #his insecurity fearfulness and powerlessness mutate into distrust resentment aggression suffocating repression and self-restraint #I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing #do his job properly avoid letting people down and get through life with a sense of dignity #but he is supposed to come across kind of cold impersonable and difficult to be around if you don't know him personally (and very few do)#people can sense there's something wrong with him and are put off by it #Vatican is a nest of vipers and as the stakes rise he retreats deeper into his coldblooded untouchable work persona #he has no choice but to start lying scheming blackmailing and eliminating his enemies #in order to maintain his position keep Vasco safe their relationship under wraps and his own head above water #essentially playing by the same rules everyone else in the holy see has been playing with for centuries #eventually he loses his spot as the secretary of state and is manipulated/forced to take on a role in the roman inquisition #and if people were sort of iffy about him before being the authority overseeing trials torture excommunications and executions doesn't help #and since he has so few allies and such an infamous reputation he's an easy target for scapegoating whenever necessary #towards the end it dawns on him that he's become the kind of twisted cruel corrupt person he used to fear and despise #and the guilt moral injury and abject self-loathing had largely sapped him of his will to live by the time the final assassin gets him #answered #anonymous #Machete #Vaschete lore #he thought his dream of priesthood would make him a better person more worthy of admiration safety and love but he climbed too high #and got roped up in the dangerous games that take place under god's nose and slowly got strangled to death

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adoresol · 2 months

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Can you make a reaction of how RIIZE would react when you are sitting on his lap and/or you start moving a lot? I love your profile!

shotaro — he'd try to be so oblivious to it, not wanting to come to the conclusion that he's getting hard. he'd gently rest a hand on your waist and tap your shoulder, a smile making its way onto his lips when you make eye contact. “baby, sorry, but can you stop moving so much? it's... i'm getting hard.“ mumbling the last part with such shame because shotaro doesn't want to make you think he's some freak who can't control his dick. butttt, when you respond with getting off his lap and wrapping your mouth around his cock as an apology... he is not complaining.

eunseok — he'd be very blunt. he loves whenever you sit on his lap so it's your designated seat majority of the time. which is why when there was no space in shotaro's car with the rest of the members, you ended up sitting on your boyfriend's lap. but the bumps in the road and your constant movement made things harder for him. eunseok's eyes would be staring directly at your ass, his cock only getting harder by the second. he'd grip your waist with a bit of strength, wanting to elevate the feeling of your ass rubbing against his cock. “baby, if you don't stop moving, i'm afraid i'm just gonna have to fuck you with everybody watching.”

sungchan — he loves whenever you sit on his lap but you wore a skirt so you were consistently fixing and readjust your outfit. “i love you, princess.” he'd try to give hints as to the fact that he's slowly getting hard by being more touchy, kissing your shoulder and complimenting you. “are you hard?” you whispered, turning around to face sungchan. he clenched his jaw to suppress a groan, nodding his head. “let's go to the bathroom.” immediately walks out with you in front of him just so he can fuck you in the bathroom.

wonbin — he would be soooo whiny, hiding his face behind your back or in the crook of your neck. you're aware of what you're doing, and you love the effect that it has on him. “baby, stop..” wonbin mumbled, his hands tightening around your waist. “stop what?” you asked him, innocently. he can't help but start trying to grind against your ass, his chest heaving up and down as he tries to get it over with before the members came back to the car, not wanting to get caught at the sight of wonbin pathetically humping you from behind.

seunghan — he hates whenever you tease him but he also loves it so much. but the feeling began getting too much and all he wanted to do was pull your underwear to the side and fuck you. obviously you weren't going to give in, considering you were trying to press his buttons. but seunghan can play that game too. “you want me to stop? thought you wanted to play around, hm?” soon enough, it's you begging for him to stop. his hand was hovering over your pussy, his thumb rubbing around the clit through your underwear.

sohee — you weren't doing it on purpose, he knew that much. you were simply laughing at whatever jokes his members were making or singing along to the songs that played through the radio. but his cock just seemed to forget that. the constant rubbing of your ass against his cock felt too much. he'd tap your shoulder with a nervous smile. “i... please stop moving.” and at that moment, it hits you as to what you've been doing. you feel so bad that you calm down and kiss sohee on the cheek, and he thinks you're the most precious person he's ever met.

anton — his big hands would be kept firm on your waist, the more you grind your ass against his cock the stronger his grip becomes. “is everything okay?” you asked your boyfriend, turning around to see his face paler than ever. “just... dehydrated. i'm okay.” he'd reassure you with a shy smile, kissing the corner of your lips. he'd feel so embarrassed having to tell you that he got hard because you were sitting on his lap, and the fact that you didn't seem to notice made him not want to air himself out like that.

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lowkeyremi · 5 months

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Hello Maya! Before I start my request, I just wanna say, I love your writing!!! I've been reading your things for a few weeks now (I'm new to tumbler) and I'm hooked!!

Anywho- I was listening to "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift and it gave me the idea of fem!reader meeting Satoru at some big event for sorcerers and falling hopelessly in love with him

heyyyyyy thank you for reading my stuff and i'm really happy you made a request, i've been hoping someone would bc i want to write ideas other than my own. i'm not huge on taylor swift so i had to listen to this song lol its pretty good :) you ask and i shall provide!! also i'm sorry if this isn't what you had in mind :')

Enchanted S. Gojo x fem!reader

wc: 1.1k

content: fluff, meeting and getting together

The night hadn't been going so well. You spilled some of your drink on your dress. That was borrowed from your friend might you add. Three guys that showed any potential interest were already with someone and their dates angrily pulled them away from you.

There are whispers about the oh so famous Satoru Gojo, and how he's finally made an appearance with his long time friend Nanami.

You've heard plenty about him, he's the famous sorcerer from Jujutsu High that has six eyes. He can solve any problem and he's said to be very hot. Honestly you're kind of a hater, you think people are gassing him up for no reason.

You've never personally met him but his description makes it hard to miss him if you see him; white hair blue eyes, but he'll likely be wearing an eye mask.

A sigh escapes your lips as you walk toward the bar for another drink, you would have invited your best friend but she's not a sorcerer and would not get it at all. "Hi, sorry for being back so soon, but could I get a strawberry margarita?" The woman behind the bar nods.

Before she can walk off though, a silky, carefree voice makes a request with your order, "Me too! Never tried strawberry margarita. Sounds pretty fruity." This day is already bad so you turn your head to see who just made it even worse-

A pretty white haired man stands by your side, piercing blue eyes peaking through sunglasses that look down right ridiculous at such a formal event. "Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors??" Is the first thing you ask, no 'Hi how are you?' or 'why are you ordering drinks on my tab?'

"Cuz I could make everyone faint with my pretty blue eyes." He smirks, confidence evident in every word.

You look confused and he finds it cute. A foreign feeling stirs in your stomach. "Just kidding. I'd waste my power if my glasses were off. Actually, I was advised not to wear them, but I didn't wanna wear my mask for this event. I have it in my pocket just in case though." He's so light and bubbly you almost forget what you were fuming about.

"You're Gojo right?" He smiles and gives a quick nod.

"And you must be 'girl with a stain on her dress', huh?" You fight the urge to roll your eyes.

"Woo that was a good one, almost made my stomach hurt from laughter." You counter sarcastically; the moodiness coming back to you.

"Haha, my bad. Anyway when we get drinks I'll find us somewhere to sit and I'll make you laugh for real." That confidence is still there. You love funny people, they're exciting to be around.

"I'm holding you to that. I need a good laugh." His smile consists of all his pearly whites and is enough to make you, or anyone around you melt.

He goes to pay for your drink, and even hands it to you. "I have to say you are way less selfish than people make you out to be."

The man in question shrugs and smirks at you, "I am very selfish about certain things, childish even. It's only the first date though so pretend you don't know about that." He waves his hand dismissively. You couldn't even care about the fact he admitted to selfishness, you're stuck up on the part where he said this is a date.

"Who said this is a date?" He notices you're trying to play it cool, but he can see right through you.

"I did. I mean if you want, we can think of it more as a blind date since it wasn't planned." Something about him doesn't rub you the wrong way or make you angry at all. He's definitely an odd ball, but he's able to make you feel something in your gut that you haven't felt in a very long time, maybe not ever, actually.

"I- what- you can't just-" You cut yourself off, lost for words, trying to comprehend what he'd just said.

He intertwines his fingers with yours. They're cold to the touch, long and slender. He does that thing where you rub your thumb across all the other fingers. On top of that he gives you that love struck gaze. You're all kinds of confused because why is someone like him trying to flirt with you??? He could literally have any other pretty sorcerer but he's walking you over to a fancy table to sit and talk.

"Ugh, you're supposed to have warm hands to contrast my cold ones." He complains, and if you weren't already stunned then you definitely were now. He's swinging his arm back in forth, with you mirroring it because he's holding your hand.

"I can't help my hands being cold, maybe you should be the one with the warm hands." He shrugs at your response. The swinging stops when you two reach a table big enough for four and pulls out your chair for you.

"I normally don't do this but you're definitely worth it." a lopsided grin covers his face.

As nice as all of this is you look around for cameras. Your mind is telling you he means no harm, but you can never be too sure.

"Okay, is this some kind of joke or show?? Where are the cameras because this can't be real." The white haired six foot something giant's face contorts into something very (ugly) funny. His face scrunches up at your words.

"I can't believe you'd suggest something like that! I'm serious, I just want to be a normal guy and have a normal encounter with someone. So, can you just pretend I'm a normal date and not Gojo Satoru?" He's telling the truth and for the first time tonight you fully relax.

"Okay, hi normal guy. What do you like to do?" You ask playfully feeling enchanted by his charismatic presence. He makes you feel a sense of freedom like you never have before.

The rest of the night the two of you goof off and talk about all kinds of things. Eventually he's being dragged out by Nanami because of how drunk he is. He'd given you his number, "Call me!!!" He whines loudly while being led to the car he arrived in.

"Okay! When I do, don't forget everything from tonight." You yell back to him.

"Like hell I will!" And he was telling the truth because about two hours later when you were winding down for bed you get a call from an unknown number. Usually you wouldn't pick up but you have a feeling that the person on the other side was none other than Gojo normal guy.

"Hello?" You don't get a response for a few seconds, your stomach drops thinking you had miscalculated...

"I miss you already, when can I see you again?" He asks sleepily.

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trans-queen-administrator · 8 months

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Taylor being paranoid about her passenger is such a fun character trait. Like none of her friends really seemed to give much of a shit when they learned about passengers from Bonesaw, but Taylor consistently notes the times her passenger acted without her consent, she tries to talk with it, communicate with it, just anything to learn what this thing that can control her without her say wants with her. One of my favorite little details is that during the timeskip this was the focus of a lot of her therapy sessions with Yamada, trying methods like hypnosis to communicate. I think part of it is that she's inherently just paranoid about the fact that this thing is helping her sometimes and she doesn't know why and she HAS to figure it out because no one would help out of the kindness of their heart, and another part is just that she can't bear to not be in control and this is something that threatens that in a very ominous way.

Another aspect of her paranoia towards her passenger is that she doesn't want to take blame for her own actions I think. During the Behemoth fight when her ally tried to shoot Phil Sē, she pulled the gun off target with silk and got him killed. She's the one who pulled the string, but because she's genuinely unsure if it was her being wary or her passenger setting up the string she settles on the second option because it absolves her of the possible blame or need to admit she's paranoid and ready to betray people in an instance. When Glenn shows her the video of her being the most terrifying fucker in existence she ignores how horrifying she is and fixated on how her passenger moved her, and then she doesn't have to think about the fact that she'd fit right into the ranks of the Slaughterhouse Nine because well, she can blame her passenger and focus on that instead. This applies to other people too, she sees Lung not using his power and thinks that maybe he's concerned about his passenger like she is. She projects hard onto Sophia in my opinion when she says that she got violent because of her passenger. If this person she doesn't like isn't to blame for everything she inflicted on Taylor, the surely Taylor can't be blamed for the violent steps she took to take over a city. It's another way she rationalizes everything to herself, if something is so bad that she can't justify it immediately there's always the excuse of "my passenger made me do it." But crucially, Taylor ends up being aware of the fact that she's doing this during Gold Morning.

And I think it's really good that this is something she grows and accepts about herself. It's wonderful growth for a character who's so often too stubborn to move herself forward. She's generally more in touch with her passenger during Gold Morning, like the time when she thinks that her and her passenger were in agreement in wanting to hurt Scion on the oil rig. No one else in Worm really seems to accept their passengers, Riley is questioning how much of herself has been subsumed by it, Eidolon is always annoyed it doesn't give what he wants, and most other people don't even know about them. But Taylor forms a bit of a symbiosis with hers after a long time rejecting it at every turn. I think this quote really sums up her feelings towards the end.

And by towards the end I mean like, at the very end, because immediately after this thought she becomes Khepri, and yet another fucking theme and character trait cumulates and reaches its peak with Speck. God damn what a good arc. The blur between Taylor and her passenger that she always feared is finally an actual thing consuming her, and she can finally communicate with her passenger as well. I do wonder what this is like on her passengers end. It's clearly down for the idea of killing its maker, and it's heavily implied that her passenger does care and doesn't want to actually leave Taylor as a husk (too lazy to get the quote because I've been typing for 45 minutes but Contessa remarks upon the administrator claiming everything about her until there's nothing left and she feels fear that she thinks is from both her and her passenger. 30.7 I think, near the end). But there's still so much about Taylor's passenger that's unknown. Was communication something it may have wanted when Taylor kept trying to communicate, but doing so required punching holes in the connection that would lead to more bleed through and functionally destroy its host? Did it slowly grow to care for Taylor more than the cycle, or was it always wanting to fight Scion? Did Taylor's autistic swag convince a multidimensional alien made of crystal to rebel? Is Queen Administrator trans? Idk how to end this post if it's not obvious, sorry.

#worm #parahumans #taylor hebert #skitter #weaver #khepri #queen administrator #ramble #sorry for the abrupt ending but uhhh enjoy the thoughts #travesty I haven't posted about this a lot yet considering my url #also just edited out like 4 typos whoops. sleeby

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thatgirl4815 · 8 months

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Sand & Perspective

So Sand finally gets the attention this episode, and it's demonstrated a lot of things: namely, that as much as he has brushed it off, he is down bad for Ray. Like really bad. Honestly, he's down even worse than I thought.

A lot of this is evident in his narration, a device which has been used quite skillfully up to this point (I'm usually pretty wary of narration in shows, but I think it suits the general tone of OF and its large cast of characters). It's also exposed something I didn't think too much about before this episode--Sand and Ray's relationship has been consistently filtered through Ray's perspective. We've witnessed Sand's lingering looks and blushes, but with the exception of a few scenes, we've always been right alongside Ray.

"I gotta work for everything I want."

So what do we learn about Sand? He's a caretaker by nature--we knew that already--but we come to understand the root of this trait in his upbringing; he was forced to grow up fast as a result of being raised in a single-parent household. He's managed to get his mother out of her debts in the past. From this, and Sand's ability to earn money from multiple jobs, we can gather that Sand is both pragmatic and determined. Though his lifestyle seems lonely and monotonous, there's no indication that he necessarily feels that way about it; rather, he sees it as the "way things are."

Again, this seems to be the marker of a person who has grown up paving his own way, not expecting others to give him anything for free. (This also explains why he was so uncomfortable with Ray throwing money at him in Ep 4.)

I find Sand's dreams interesting as well. We know he idolizes musicians, but when Ray asks him if he wants to become a famous musician himself one day, he instead describes going to music festivals. To me, this indicates that Sand might not be interested in achieving his own stardom so much as he wants to be part of a collective. It's the thrill of enjoying music with others that attracts him, and I don't think it's any coincidence that we see him doing that very thing with Ray twice prior to this discussion (once at the record store in Ep4, and once at the concert in Ep5). It's illustrating how Ray plays a part in Sand's interests, bringing the two of them closer in the process.

"Ray's Extra Hour"

Sand falls hard and fast, and a large part of this can be attributed to his obligations as a caretaker. He's motivated to help others and offer support, because that's just who he is. Still, the fact that he's willing to carve out an extra hour in his day for Ray is very telling of just how deeply he feels for Ray already. It all brings me back to the first sign of feelings Sand demonstrates in Ep1:

Sand sees Ray as someone in need of help, and I suspect that role will only become more prominent as he continues to unveil just how broken Ray is by his past.

"I've always thought Ray is my 25th hour, my extra hour. But the truth is everyone has the same 24 hours in a day.

I see these lines as Sand coming back to reality. There is no actual "25th hour"; it's a piece of time he's invented to categorize the part of his life he's now devoted to Ray. Sand is pragmatic, but he's allowed himself to live in what he thinks is a fantasy; a fabrication.

"And within Ray's 24 hours, I'm not a part of it. I'm not that special."

As several others have pointed out, Sand's language here mirrors Ray's last episode. Sand wants to be cherished by Ray the way Ray wants to be cherished by Mew. Will we see Sand resort to his old routine, pushing Ray away the way he tried to once before? Will we witness Sand recommitting himself to his dream, narrowing in on his goals and isolating himself from Ray in the process (to protect his own feelings)? I predict we will see some of that, but Sand will ultimately run back to Ray at the first sign of distress. Because like or not, he cares about Ray, even if Ray doesn't put him first. His feelings won't just disappear overnight.

#Anyways: I love Sand.#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #sandray #raysand #sanray #raysan #sand x ray #ray x sand #first kanaphan #Khaotung thanawat #only friends sand #firstkhaotung #firstkhao #only friends meta #only friends episode 5 #only friends ep 5

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misrepresentedmorallygrey · 2 months

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PROPAGANDA

The Darkling

Okay so this guy is the main bad guy of the series. He made “the fold” this barren wasteland of darkness and monsters dividing the land, causing like hundreds of thousands of people to die. He killed his mom. He psychologically manipulated his girlfriend (like, he caused her to hallucinate and a whole bunch of other crazy stuff). He made one of his followers (a young girl) use her body to slowly poison the king over time. He started a cult. He did a LOT of crazy stuff. However, we do see his backstory of him as a kid, and learn that he did all this in the name of equality, so people would stop torturing and killing the ‘grisha’ or the witches/magic users. Later, he fakes his own death and starts a cult worshipping him and acts as the leader of the cult, going by his old name Aleksander. He is a very complicated character. So tell my why everyone thirsts after him and is like “he did nothing wrong” HELLO?! He is NOT your poor little meow meow he is complies please please don’t sanitize him.

Mikoto Kayano

Mikoto is really kind and friendly, he gives people nicknames, and he tries to talk to everyone. He cares about his little sister and his mom; he doesn't want to worry anyone and will hide when he's really stressed out and try to act like everything is fine. He just laughs and hopes everything will work out. He overworks himself and thinks that he needs to keep working, even after he's already pushing himself too hard. He doesn't remember killing anyone and he's in MILGRAM because of it and he got voted to not be forgiven in the first trial which is making his stress worse.

Mikoto's characterization within the fandom is either sexy man or baby who couod never hurt a fly. Despite that in his introductory voice drama he folds a fifteen year old for several minutes abd the fact that he's now in a mystical prisoner for definitely committing murder. Like the entire premise of the series is contingent upon everyone who is in it killing a person. Mikoto has dissociative identity disorder the fandom uses this to basically go normal Mikoto the one Milgram arrested (the prison that can look into people's minds by the way) is the good one. He hates violence and I'd just a silly little office worker but the other one I'd the literal devil. An evil man who likes violence and just hates people real antisocial. The fandom is so bad at understanding moral ambiguity and dissociative identity disorder that despite his songs being called MeMe, Double, a line in the second song being literally "Just the two of us" and one of the creators puting out a statement after the seconds songs release saying "I wonder what will happen to the two Mikoto's now"- A good majority of fans have convinced themselves there is a third very normal and chill alter (because they seperate them by emotional states like this is fucking inside out for some reason) who is just a guy and consistently state Mikoto will be bad representation if there are only two. It's to the point that a good deal of the fanbase are fans of this character and not actually Mikoto. Only using his actual character for ship fodder to fuel their switch fetish. I don't know if it's not understanding moral ambiguity, just not knowing how to fucking read, or hating a minority of people simply based on how a dissociative disorder presents in them which is apparently a bias that the dissociative identity disorder community has had for a long time i.e treating people more poorly based on alter count but whatever it is I believe it's enough to qualify him for this.

#misrepresented morally grey #round 2 #bracket a #did nothing wrong bracket #shadow and bone #the darkling #general kirigan #milgram #mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto

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chinzhillaby · 1 year

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at first, sound didn't want to be around gun and his friends because he thought they were taking advantage of him. then, he wanted to take advantage of them to feel like he was winning over tinn. but in the end, he understood that they were good people who didn't want to hurt him and they really appreciated his talent, he didn't want to use them either anymore, so bit by bit he has been able to open his heart to the chinzhilla boys.

the sound of ep 4 that didn't smile, now smiles at his 5 friends, he is able to laugh with them.

his character development can be seen if you compare the way he treats gun, initially, he did not care about gun’s feelings when he became the leader of the band, but now, he has accepted gun and he even told him about his wrist’s pain cuz he was worried that their performance would go wrong because of him.

his change can also be seen with the rest of the band members, win included, but they have handled it differently. his relationship since the beginning has consisted of fighting, it seems like their personalities don't match at all. but in episode 6, even though they fight, at this point they know they don't hate each other, and they try to support each other because they are in fact friends but it's hard for them to show it. win bugs sound at first cuz ever since he met him, he felt that sound was better than him and he finally felt that he beat him at something. but sound felt bad about it. when win came back that night to play badminton with sound, ofc it wasnt because of the wallet, he wanted to help him and it was his way of apologizing to sound. sound understood.

it is difficult for them to show concern at first because it may seem that they will look weak because of it, because they have only known how to fight, because they are afraid of being mocked.

in ep 8, win is upset at first because he feels that sound doesn't care about them. he tries to fight him but he feels that there is something off, sound doesnt fight back, sound is a picky person when it’s related to music but suddenly he isnt. win has a hunch.

he follows sound, and seeing that he has hidden his pain because he cares about them, fighting doesn't seems important anymore, he doesn't need a facade to show his concern anymore. win really worries about sound. he wants to support sound because he’s important to his band but deep down he can't deny that it is also because he's his friend.

after seeing that sound is better, win and sound can fight again, but for now they are just joking with each other. their “fights” are to joke with each other, it doesn't seem like they are to upset each other anymore.

i think that deep down both of them should feel that they can finally breathe, that they don't have to fight anymore, that they can be friends who behave the way they treat their other friends. i am not sure how their relationship will develop because it is still very recent, and they have fought since they met. but at least they are both aware that they are friends and they care about each other. if any of them feel sad, they will be willing to be together to support each other in their own way.

#my school president #my school president the series #my school president series #msp #guntinn #tinngun #sound #soundmsp #win #winmsp #winsound #soundwin #sound x win #he is one of my fav characters since ep 5

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aihoshiino · 6 months

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hello!!! you have no idea how hard it is (for me at least haha) to find a blog that talks about ai even semi consistently let alone analyze her this closely so i enjoy ur blog very much! thank you for feeding my ai brainrot :D

anyways any thoughts on ai and hikaru’s relationship? or just speculation since theres not much on it rn? its pretty fascinating to me, they were both children who were abused and exploited as a whole (that and their own respective fucked up relationship and idea of sexual intimacy which might be one of the catalysts for them jumping to sex so quickly despite both (i think?) being aware of the consequences with them being relatively active in the entertainment industry and what not) so its not too hard to imagine them potentially bonding even if it never quite reached genuine love romantic or otherwise

HAPPY TO PROVIDE, ANON! <3 I fully admit that my ramblings are mostly for my own benefit because if I don't talk about Hoshino Ai at least twice a day I will turn into the Oshi no Joker but it's always so nice to hear folks are glad to be along for the ride.

Hikaru and Ai's relationship has always been really fascinating to me, though! It's kind of an interesting subversion on some of our and Aqua's ingrained assumptions about the kind of person the twins' father would be – there's this sort of implicit, unspoken understanding based on the way Aqua focuses primarily on men who were already adults when Ai got pregnant that Ai was victimized in some way which resulted in the twins. Finding out who Hikaru is and the fact that he and Ai were peers immediately casts all of Ai's decisions regarding him in a hugely different light and raises a lot of questions about things that we otherwise assumed went without saying.

That said, given that we know so little about both their relationship and Hikari himself as a person, it's kind of hard to make solid guesses! I sort of have a rough shape of what I imagine it was like in my head just based on Hikaru's emotional function in the story VS what we know about him specifically as a person – Hikaru is very clearly intended to be a sort of bad end/dark mirror of Aqua, so I like to think that his and Ai's relationship probably contained echoes of the two main Aqua romances we see play out in the present. I had like a huge and honestly kind of incomprehensible ramble here originally while I tried to define what I meant by that but then I realized the series itself already lays it out...

In Hikaru, Ai found someone she thought would finally understand and accept her.

In Ai, Hikaru saw light.

Ai is tied to stars and light constantly through the series while also being tied to Kana pretty strongly as well, so I think it makes sense for her to be the Kana/light equivalent in this relationship. Uh, of course, I think I have accidentally implied that this means Akane is paralleling Hikari, so let's move on................................

It's also interesting to take into account 45510 when trying to pick up some info about how this relationship went. The stream at the center of this story is dated just after Ai came back from her hiatus following the birth of the twins, so around when she was 16/17 years old -- closer to the latter and so likely two or three years after her relationship with Hikaru fell apart. With that in mind, Ai's words here feel kind of... I guess, accidentally revealing? In some interesting ways.

When asked to describe her ideal type for a lover, Ai says: ""I guess I'd like to be with someone who doesn't lose their cool with me when I mess things up, ‘cause that happens a lot! Someone who gets all worked up over every little thing would probably get tired of me pretty quick. It’d be unfair for them, so I'd rather be with someone who's not like that.""

And unprompted, she continues from there with this: ""Love is all about trust, isn't it? They call it... 'recipricity', I think? Like, if someone showed me they love me, I'd feel the same way about them. But, I'm a bit of a scaredy-cat. It's tough for me to really believe in words like 'love' and 'like.' I've never actually fallen in love with someone before, so I'm not even sure what it means, you know?""

This is FASCINATING knowing this is Ai on the other side of her relationship with Hikaru. We know that this is Ai's true feelings because even the 45510 narrator, who calls her a liar every time she so much as breathes, admits that she knows Ai is probably telling the truth here. If this is the case, then this basically confirms that however intense the HikaAi relationship was, she didn't feel as though she loved him, which matches with the snippets we've gotten from the DVD and the movie where Ai's parting/break up with Hikaru was centered on Ai admitting that she couldn't love him.

Of course, this doesn't necessarily mean that their bond wasn't genuine or that they didn't have real feelings for each other – I totally agree with your take that they probably gravitated towards each other as victims of abuse generally and CSA specifically and found a sort of comfort and solidarity in recognizing and licking each others' wounds. But obviously, things didn't work out and I think we have a lot of clues already what this fundamental misunderstanding was.

When Ai tells Hikaru "I can't love you" this is an apology, an admission of weakness and self-blame. What Ai is saying is I can't love you, because I'm broken and I can't love anyone.

What Hikaru likely hears is I can't love you because you're broken and nobody could.

That sense of rejection, combined with the trauma he already carried from his abuse would have been bad enough but that Ai got pregnant and broke up with him was likely hugely retraumatizing for him, ripping open the scars of his abuse at Airi Himekawa's hands. He may have even misconstrued Ai's actions as an act of abuse similar to Airi's and everything went spiralling from there.

I don't have any really solid shots to call, unfortunately! So much about Hikaru is up in the air right now, but I think he's a super interesting character and his and Ai's relationship is something I really, really want to eventually see more of.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #onk spoilers #hikaru kamiki #csa mention #abuse mention

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sokkastyles · 9 months

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Am I the only one who finds Azula stan’s insistency that the mental institution was abusive and that Zuko only visited her because she wanted something out of her? Not only are these claims poorly founded in the canon comics, they try to use it to accuse Zuko of letting Azula be abused and how bad of a person he is. Any thoughts?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO

They don't like that Azula is being held accountable for her actions, so they try to make her the victim. That's also why I don't believe them when they say they want redemption for her. Or at least, I don't think their conception of a redemption would actually be one.

DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) is one of the main reasons it is extremely difficult for abusive people to change. Because if they can make facing the consequences for their actions into the "real" abuse, it means they don't have to do it. If Azula was abused in the institution, it provides a convenient explanation for why she hasn't gotten better. It's not that she has a problem, it's that other people need to be nicer to her!

This is also why I push back so hard against the idea that Zuko or even Iroh need to help her, especially when the "help" focuses on what they did wrong and how they didn't care enough about her feelings. It completely takes the responsibility off of Azula for the fact that she hurt them. And once abusers figure out they can do this, that cycle tends to continue if allowed. Which means that any help they provide to her can be twisted into another way that she's a victim, so that she can continue to abuse them.

And I say "them" because if Iroh were the version of the character some of Azula's stans seem to want, someone who feels endlessly guilty for his "crimes" against Azula, that would be abuse. Because his crimes are things like getting her a gift she didn't like, which she burned. Notice the DARVOing yet? Another crime was helping Zuko, which is used to justify her nearly killing him.

People love to pretend that Iroh is endlessly forgiving with Zuko and that it's a double standard that he isn't with Azula, but the fact that Iroh is NOT forgiving of abusive people is one of the main reasons he could help Zuko.

Can you imagine if Iroh was to the type of person to make excuses for Azula? For Ozai? That would not help Zuko, because one of the things that Zuko needed was to be told that it was okay to prioritize himself and to feel hurt. Iroh helped Zuko realize he was abused by telling him that the way his family treated him was not okay, and one of the ways he did that was by consistently trying to protect him from Azula, who tried to take him back to his abuser. Azula stans trying to twist that into a form of abuse of her, or evidence that Iroh has a personal vendetta against her is transparent abuse apologism.

I mention this because the thing about this kind of abusive behavior is that it's a pattern. Azula complaining about the indignity of being in the asylum, complaining about the food, acting like her brother is mistreating her by trying to make her comfortable and trying to include her in his search for their mother, these are all part of the pattern of DARVO. If Azula had better food, she would find something else to complain about. Not that we should believe Azula that there is anything wrong with the food in the institution to begin with. Azula fired a servant over a pit in her cherry, remember? "Oh, but that was during her breakdown." Okay, how about her very first scene when she is at her peak and threatened her men because they didn't want to sail straight into dangerous tides? This is something we see Azula do over and over again. I don't know why we're still acting like she's a reliable narrator.

#azula #zuko #iroh #abuse cw #atla comics

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athenaowl585 · 1 year

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"REFLECTIONS"

A/N: I dedicate this Tech x fem reader to @nahoney22 and those who love our glorious genius, whose sacrifice affected everyone. After the last episodes, I wanted to take my mind off everything that happened with the Bad Batch... To be honest, I'm writing this for the first time, so please don't be too strict if you are not satisfied with my writing.

Despite the fact that your work as a mechanic is extremely important, you are always the first to go exploring and explore the area. Tech decided to keep you company and you were very happy about it. After all, you two were rarely given the opportunity to be alone together.

In Clone Force 99, you were an expert in understanding mechanics and science to the core, of course, after Tech. However, your successes have always been much more modest than his, referring to the fact that everyone tries to the best of their abilities. But Tech assured you that your knowledge can be useful.

Of all the members of the squad, you were the closest to the Tech, since you both like to talk about everything that comes to mind. Both share a love of research and get excited about things like science.

There was no doubt that Tech found you attractive, like all his brothers, and you were also a kind-hearted, playful and witty person. But brutally straightforward when it was necessary, and above all you listened to the Tech.

Engineering skill alone wasn't enough to get his attention. The mind was also worth a lot. It was precisely because of this that everything began with you in the form of friendly rivalry in technical matters. Tech recognized that you are good at what you do best, and you know more - and if you know anything, you know better - than anyone else. But over time, you have become very close, working on some projects, conducting research and repairing the Marauder.

You wondered if there is more between you and Tech than just friendly feelings. Unfortunately, this guy was hard to understand. His behavior towards you was not always different from how he behaved with the rest of the team. However, you firmly decided that romance was the last thing Tech could think about, so you decided to leave everything as it is.

"What are you thinking about, Y/N?" the person with whom you went to explore asked you.

You've been doing a perimeter sweep for several hours and haven't found any signs of the enemy, so you decided to take a little break before heading back to the ship.

"I am thinking about the connection of all things on this planet and their relationship. They are all intertwined, as it were, and therefore in communion with each other, following each other in a certain order"

"And what is the reason for this?" Tech asked curiously. During the landing, he scanned the planet and found that the plants have a kind of consciousness. But they were completely harmless.

"This is explained by the continuity of movement, overall consistency and unity of essence" you patted the ground next to you. He joined you on the grass to look at the horizon. "You know, Tech, the world and nature sometimes coincide with each other"

"In what sense?"

"Well, the first of them denotes the mathematical whole of all phenomena, but the same world is called nature as the unity of all living things. I always think about how it creates everything with a single aspiration, how everything contributes to the emergence of everything, what is the connection and correspondence in everything"

"I don't think I can understand what you're talking about"

You laughed a little, because sometimes you are so absorbed in your own thoughts that you express them in such a way that even your favorite smart guy can't understand them.

"I want to say that the sky, the earth, the natural elements, our soul and body all take part in this, we just need to be able to find a way to use them. They themselves instruct us when we are able to understand them. After all, all the worlds in the galaxy are nothing but a sacred temple, whose doors are open to man so that he can contemplate amazing objects in it, not created by the hand of a skilled craftsman, but such as the sun, stars, water and earth, which were created from cosmic dust in order to give us the idea of things accessible only to our mind and...heart"

Tech noticed that you emphasized the last word, and probably understood why. When you were alone with him, you always allowed yourself to express your thoughts not related to the war. He knew how you take everything to heart and therefore your salvation has always been this kind of reflection.

Of course, it is impossible not to deny that there are people who believe that only empty reflections without solid real foundations, which are given by science, are recognized not only useless, but even dangerous. And in wartime, even more so a waste of time. But not you. Someone else's opinion was alien to you. For you, philosophy and philosophizing have always been the art of practical life and a guide to it.

"I am glad that you can think in this direction"

"What are you talking about, Tech?" you asked again.

"You see, you Y/N are an unusual person. You are so immersed in exploring and understanding things that, to be honest, it can be difficult for me to understand myself. I can be the best in data collection, in their processing and analysis, in summarizing the theoretical basis for factual material. And it's like you're trying to feel it"

"And you think it is...bad?" you looked at him a little with disbelief.

"What? No... I mean... Me and my brothers, we were created with a purpose, so I didn't have to worry about anything other than the war or my squad. And thinking about something other than her did not provide an opportunity, so doing philosophy for me seems, well...something new"

"It's all right, Tech. I probably say this so often because sometimes we all forget, but just don't think about such things surrounding us in life"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Depends on what question you ask, genius"

"What does philosophy give a person?"

You were caught off guard by his question.

"Why are you asking me? Don't get me wrong, of course I'm pleased that you're asking me but... but...I thought you'd find out for yourself, as always"

"Because you know that better than anyone. I've often seen you go deep into yourself, thinking about something"

You've been thinking for a while. Your eyebrows were furrowed, and your gaze was directed at the horizon, the setting sun. The silence dragged on, and Tech wanted to apologize for his question, how suddenly you started talking: "Philosophy gives a person the opportunity to comprehend his place in the world and fulfill his duties. The matter of philosophy is simple and modest. For me personally, philosophy remains the law of life, but a philosopher must understand all the imperfections of human nature, all the extreme slowness of people's assimilation of higher moral and intellectual truths"

"You know, you sometimes act like a philosopher yourself, given the fact that you've been in a state of reflection long enough to find the length of your stay on the team amazing"

"Really? It's so obvious," you told him with a smile, looking into each other's eyes.

"Absolutely"

"But hardly anyone in their right mind would want to connect their life with a woman like me"

"Why do you say that?" Tech asked in surprise.

"Everyone thinks I'm a pretty boring woman: what's fun if in my free time I spend so much time reading books or performing my duties as a mechanic, repairing a ship or dealing with all kinds of mechanisms. By achieving success in something that can be of great benefit to us"

"You don't have to worry about what others think of you. I know what you're like," he said, smiling.

"What am I, Tech? Only honestly"

"You are a very versatile intellectual woman whose mind is the key to everything with a philosophical view of the world and incredible willpower, often thinking about the meaning of life and able to "gnaw the granite of science". And besides, you are Y/N kind, honest and caring. You worry about my health more than your own, although you shouldn't. I never expected to meet a woman like you in my life"

The Tech's words touched your heart, making it beat faster. His words and proximity to you at that moment were enough to take your breath away a little.

"Tech..."

"I want to say that you have always attracted me, and I appreciate every moment spent with you. I want this to continue, but I don't want to put pressure on you in anything, so I assumed that keeping you company in intelligence turned out to be the perfect solution to this predicament. But I'll understand if you don't reciprocate me and..."

You silence him by grabbing his face with your hands, pulling him to you and imprinting a gentle kiss on his lips, to which he reciprocates by hugging you tightly around the waist.

You pull away from each other due to lack of air, playfully grinning at him, and Tech grinned back at you, his cheeks uncharacteristically pink.

Now he was the one who starts the kiss, and you reciprocate.

#the bad batch tech #the bad batch tech x reader

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di-girls-dem-sugar · 1 year

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Episode 39 of Find Us Alive just curbstomped me. Nah. Nah. Nah. Nahhh. No. This podcast is TOO good. I'm legitimately dumbstruck by how fucking good every aspect of this shit is.

I MUST start off by saying that Raddagher's scream will haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't know if it's just my love for this podcast or the talent of the creators but I tend to get very immersed in it and I could legitimately feel the desperation and despair and agony and fear and everything that everyone was feeling this episode. In particular I have not been able to get the image of Raddagher closing herself off and silently losing her mind over Love ever since the beginning of the aneurysm storyline. Whatever Harley talked about how she was acting and how difficult it was to communicate, I kept thinking the main reason that she doesn't say anything is because if she opens her mouth she's going to scream. And she fucking did. That was the scream of a grieving woman. It wasn't even fear or anything, it was a sound from a woman who's physically been cut open and had something ripped out of their body and I really feel like Ingrid thinks she's lost her already. Maybe I'm stupid and naive but I just refuse to believe that she's gone and I will not give up on the hope of her waking up because I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't.

And Lancaster? Every time I think about Orion I just get so sad! Not only thinking about what he's going through but thinking about how him being contained is affecting everyone else. From the fact that Harley lost his best friend to the fact that Beatrix tried to do everything she could to prevent them experimenting on him even if that meant he would have to say locked up for longer to the way Ingrid cried over him keeping secrets even before they knew he was a dash three.....

He misses his friends and he wants to make things right but they won't even give him a chance to see them!!! And now this whole thing with Love.... not only does he not know what's going on and he hasn't even gotten a chance to see her, but he doesn't even have anybody to support him in his worry over her. Even though Harley, klein, and Raddagher barely spoke to each other, the fact of the matter is they still had the option to do so but they were just avoiding each other. Lancaster never had a choice but to stay by himself. And all he wants is so desperately to see his friend because it might just be the last time!+ Even though she can't talk to him even though she's not even conscious he just wants to see his friend he's just so tired of it all and I want to cry because he really doesn't deserve this idc if he tried to kill Harley that was a different guy!!!!!!! It was an accident that wasn't him!!!!!

And Kline my beautiful wife, trying so hard to keep it all together... as bad as it is I kind of understand why she was so reluctant to see Love because who wants to see their best friend like that? like let's be real. Her apprehension was totally understandable but at the same time I wish we had gotten to see all of them in one room just for this. Still, I kind of like the fact that they didn't have that big group get together and the whole gang wasn't in one place because it's kind of more realistic that way... not to mention it's really consistent with Kline's characterization cuz she's a very avoidant type of person.

In conclusion @raddagher You Are Literally Killing Me.

#find us alive #scp #scp foundation #scp find us alive #love this podcast so bad goddamn #shut up kayla #this was just some stream of onsciousness rambling because I could not just sit on my feelings after listening to that #so it might not even make sense

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coraniaid · 1 year

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Arguing with strangers on the internet about whether or not fictional characters are "good people" -- especially supporting characters in network television, whose actions often vary wildly from episode to episode depending on the needs of the plot -- seems like an incredibly unwise and unfun use of a finite lifespan.

That being said, every time I stumble into a post positioning Giles as the Good Parent and Joyce as the Bad Parent I end up wanting to break something. Especially when people suggest that this is also how Buffy herself relates to them. Because that is simply not what the show depicts and it is hard not to be uncharitable about why you might claim otherwise.

Yes, without question Joyce is shown to do some genuinely terrible things as a parent (largely because the writers don't care enough about her as a character to write her consistently from episode to episode). The more seriously you treat the metaphorical reading of Buffy 'coming out' as a Slayer to her mother in Becoming -- and I think it's a reading that's very much intended, given the language used -- the worse Joyce's response is. And the retcon in Normal Again that Joyce had Buffy institutionalized and then, well, just forgot about doing it, is obviously horrific. (Crucially, though, it's also pretty much impossible to reconcile with how Buffy's relationship with her mother is portrayed in the first five seasons of the show. It's not evidence that Joyce is "actually" a bad parent: it's just laughably bad writing and the only sensible option is to ignore the retcon entirely.)

Yes, Joyce reacts badly to Buffy being a Slayer while Giles doesn't. That's because Giles has known about vampires and slayers being real for decades before he meets her, while Joyce found out about all that stuff earlier that evening. It's not because Giles is somehow naturally a good and accepting person while Joyce isn't.

(Within the reality of the show, it is entirely understandable that Joyce is angry at Giles for signing her daughter up to be his footsolider in a supernatural war that he knows will end in her early death. It is entirely understandable that she blames Giles for sending her daughter out alone every night to fight vampires and demons while -- at his urging -- lying to her mother about what she's up to. Not only might Buffy have died alone in some underground vampire nest without her mother ever knowing about it, she actually did die, and Giles never even thought of telling Joyce. Do you really think the woman who faced down Spike with an axe and no powers in School Hard -- "you get the hell away from my daughter" -- is just going to be okay with this?

It's fun to point out that Joyce's claim to have "tried to march in the Slayer Pride parade" in Season 3's Faith, Hope & Trick is a little disingenous, and it's true: Joyce does eventually come to terms with Buffy being a Slayer, but she's definitely not there yet. But her talk about "hating" the fact that Buffy is a Slayer in that episode comes when Buffy has just admitted that she was killed fighting the Master and -- thanks in part to Giles -- she never told her mother. It is not at all surprising that Joyce is upset by this!)

Yes, Giles gives Buffy various comforting pep talks throughout the show and obviously cares about her a lot, even being willing to risk his life and lie to the police to protect her. Guess what: Joyce does all this too, consistently, even not knowing why Buffy is acting the way she does. (And, again, as a fictional character Joyce's primary purpose on the show is to be Buffy's well-meaning but slightly clueless parent. The fact she doesn't notice the signs that Buffy is sneaking out to fight vampires every night doesn't make her an idiot, it is just part of the fundamental conceit of the early seasons of the show.)

Yes, Joyce almost gets Buffy killed in Season 3's Gingerbread. That's because she's being possessed by a literal demon (compare and contrast with what Buffy herself almost does to Dawn three years later in Season 6's Normal Again). What's Giles excuse for drugging Buffy, robbing her of her powers, lying to her about it and almost getting her killed the very next episode of Season 3? Oh, his employer told him to do it? He was just following orders? Cool. Excellent A+ parenting there.

("But he confessed to her at the last minute! When he thought the test was no longer valid and he wouldn't suffer any consequences for talking about it!" Well, sure. I guess the father of the year award is a shoe-in then.)

Yes, Joyce is excited for Buffy to have gotten into Northwestern and thinks she should try to go there after high school, but … oh, wait, despite the fact Joyce's detractors on this site repeatedly bring this up as some kind of criticism, it is actually not a bad thing at all. Joyce's reaction to the news that Buffy was accepted into Northwestern -- "that's wonderful" -- literally mirrors Giles's later in the episode; and Buffy herself tries to arrange things so that she can go to Northwestern after the Mayor is defeated (Buffy herself applied for Northwestern, after all!).

Buffy wants to have as much of a normal life as she can and not just be the Slayer. This is a very central part of her character. She wants to do well in school: this is the whole reason she befriends Willow in the first episode of the show. It is frankly ridiculous how often people suggest that Joyce wanting the same things for her daughter is actually a point against her. (It is meant to be sad that Buffy can't take part in ordinary school activities, that she struggles in class because of the Slaying, that she ultimately can't manage to go to Northwestern, that she has to drop out of college altogether later, and that she can't get a more fulfilling day job. We are supposed to want better for her. )

Like, obviously the writers care a lot more about Giles than they do Joyce, and obviously they expect us to care about him more too. We know much more about his back story and how he spends his free time, we get to see multiple recurring characters from his past, we're encouraged to care about his romantic relationships. The writers can't even be bothered to keep track of what Joyce's sister is called, let alone show us where she works or let her have any friends who live beyond one episode.

And yes, sure, Giles is a more interesting character. He appears in twice as many episodes and has more than four times as much speaking time, so it would be a little weird if he wasn't! But it is simply not true that Buffy cares about Giles more than Joyce. Nothing she ever says or does suggests it. The highest Giles ever rises in her esteem is when she tells him in Season 6 that having him around is "a little like having Mom back". And then he abandons her.

Ultimately, though, I think you have to approach Joyce Summers the way you should approach Buffy's friends. Yes, they do some terrible things (Joyce telling Buffy she won't be welcome back home if she leaves to fight Angelus; more or less everything that happens in Dead Man's Party; Giles's actions in Helpless; Willow and Tara living in her home rent free while telling her she needs to get a job to pay the bills; Xander ... well, being Xander; all her friends and her own sister collaborating in kicking Buffy out of her own house).

The thing is that you either have to believe that these are to some extent unusual or out-of-character actions -- that the show doesn't always do a good job of depicting conflict between friends and loved ones and is sometimes just poorly written -- but that nonetheless these people all genuinely like and respect Buffy and want her to be happy. Or, alternatively, you end up arguing that Buffy Summers is an idiot who doesn't have any real friends and wastes her affections on people who don't even care about her.

And I have too much respect for Buffy to think that about her.

(Even if she is a fictional character I've just wasted time arguing about on the internet.)

#btvs #I really should just start blocking people more aggressively but alas I am an idiot

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pimenita · 1 year

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@nyehilismwriting

It's been ages since I reviewed anything, so apologies if this comes off a bit rusty n_n"

Copious amounts of rambling (and spoilers) under the cut:

First I will talk a bit about my operative (and his choices) since I think that's a good starting point: Crux is a cis guy, he's bi, passionate, hard-headed, and a smart-ass. He's basically a space cowboy, just your stereotypical sci-fi hero (the two types of sci-fi hero: emotionally constipated mr. man, or wise guy himbo)

Chapter 1:

On that first mission, he did as much property damage while quipping as he could, and it pissed Nash off. Crux was defensive about it.

He backed Nash up in front of the Director. He dearly misses the friendship they had. He also wants to kiss them so bad.

The Bar. Rohan is a guy in my playthrough. I chose not to be touch-averse (in fact, Crux would be on the opposite side of that scale; he's the sort to get very physical very fast)

Tacky, but I'm into it, should be tattooed on his forearm tbh in mine too. Was all over Rohan from second one since he tends to not think things through most of the time, but after getting scolded by Nash and the Director, he was feeling downhearted. Toxic coping mechanisms ftw!

(As a side note, I love that you give us the option for casual sex to be something our operative doesn't indulge in, indulges in consistently, or indulges consistently just not with Rohan n_n Even if it doesn't come up again, it's a small piece of character lore that makes the operative feel more relatable, more mine)

Sex scene <3 Look at my Crux being bossy and Rohan being into it (I think?) Also, WET/HARD? Don't mind me stealing that for my next project ;)

The removal of IVI is *chef's kiss* The utter helplessness; we can't do anything to stop it and it's terrifying. Probably my favorite scene so far.

Once Crux could stand on his feet, the first thing he did was unholster his gun and go looking for Rohan. That Dancer#3 was so fucking dead.

He finds Joia and tries to make himself look non threatening—as non threatening as a guy carrying a gun, with blood running down his torso, and half high on anesthetics can look—before gently persuading her to come with him.

His first interaction with Rhaxa was to yell at Leanna to shoot it and skedaddle. His second meeting with Rohan had him trying to choke him to death. So, an all around great first impression on the crew xD

Chaper 2:

Nash asks about his history with Rohan, and Crux would rather eat glass than speak about it with the person he's crushing on.

He tells Nash he's going to kill Rohan (as if) and lets them talk him out of it for now. Crux does try his best to play nice in front of Joia, not even looking at Rohan.

Crux doesn't trust Rhaxa at all, and isn't afraid to speak his mind. He's also more sarcastic than usual when discussing Leanna's plan, but I get it; the poor guy just had his friend removed from his skull and is still trying to get a smidge of control.

He decides to go with Leanna, but before that, he realizes he still wants to screw Rohan's brains out. 'It's complicated' doesn't cover even half of his feelings. I do wonder if Rohan feels the same odd pull. Maybe they just happen to have amazing sexual chemistry together.

Flirted with Leanna and found out she isn't into guys.

I love the operative's relationship with Joia. I just want to keep her safe.

Chapter 3:

Tense chat with Rohan and Nash. I really liked this one.

I like that Leanna calls out Crux for being an ass. I'm not sure what her lingering looks mean tho.

Another tense chat with Rohan. I love that he brings up Nash and says that this could've happened to them, and the operative is like, "Do NOT talk about them." Yes, keep their name off his mouth. Love love love.

Rohan's slip of the tongue. He truly thinks Crux is an absolute dimwit, doesn't he? He keeps forgetting the guy is like a super soldier or something. Good >:)

The "It was... cruel," and the "Yeah, it was," made my heart twist. I love it so much.

Of course Crux sent a signal to the Project, and the entire scene with him pushing the barrel of his gun against Rohan's chest to make him back off kicked so much ass. The operative is so cool.

Of course he tried to kiss Rohan an instant later, and Rohan turned him down. We still have the option to tell him, "fuck you" which I'm so happy about (and his reply made me grin) Their relationship is so complex, I really can't get enough of it.

Chapter 4:

Captain Lance is an asshole xD The dick measuring contest between him and my Crux was so fun to read.

Nash saying, "How threatened are you?" was amazing.

Aw Crux, you aren't jealous, are you?

He lied to the Director to spare Rohan.

As I commented on that ask the other day, Crux is so lucky he decided not to trust these guys. He can be so naive sometimes.

The fight in tight quarters kicks ass too. Nash and Crux are a great team.

Crux knocked MacCready out instead of killing him.

dyiNG

My operative went to find the others instead of looking for IVI. And Joia's reaction when she saw him again. Ah, my heart. Also, Leanna calling Crux 'doll', is yes.

I knew trying to pry IVI from Rohan's hands would be useless, so I let him keep her for now.

It is.

It's a horrible feeling, isn't it?

Rohan jumped on the soldier's back, hah! Amazing.

Crux's so cool, I genuinely love him.

General thoughs:

I've noticed itchio games tend to be more booky than interactive-fictiony, but I will comment on a few things just in case you find something I say interesting. OC these are just my thoughts, not trying to impose, or tell anyone how to write their games.

I think there's a bit too many pages before we are introduced to the first choice. Your writing is engaging tho so, personally, I don't think the lack of player input at this point is too bad. You did grab my attention and kept me reading after all.

I'm not sure why our operative doesn't just punch Rohan in the face and takes IVI back. I understand that for plot reasons he has to keep her on him, but on a story level, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I mean, the bag is right there, just punch the twink. Maybe if we had the chance to corner him or something and demand he gives us IVI back, snatching the bag and turning it over only for Rohan to be like, "You don't really think I would be walking around with it on me, do you? You can't be that obtuse." So now the operative knows trying to kill Rohan would result in probably never finding IVI again.

The chat with Leanna in chapter 3 would tie everything together too.

So, back when CH3 was the newest chapter, I was able to kiss Rohan. My question is, was that a bug? Did you change it on this chapter? Does he still kiss the operative in another route? The way he reacts points to Rohan wanting to jump my guy's bones, but he's still holding back, and as long as I see interest I'm going to keep pursuing him. I'm a simp like that.

I don't understand why the operative tells the director about Rohan? I thought lying to her would mean also lying about his name and appearance, just in case Lance sent her the IDs of the people on the ship, you know?

My canon route is calling the project instead of Rohan's contacts, but I did take a look at the other route. I think my favorite part is being able to discuss our families with Nash since I had already headcanoned the only family Crux has left is a drunk father he despises. I wonder if we'll have the chance of having this chat in the future if we don't contact Rohan's people?

There's a part where Rhaxa turns violent and we try to calm them down by putting a hand on their shoulder, which reminded me of that ask someone sent you wondering if they could be less responsive towards Joia. I had a hard time picturing Crux touching an angry alien—if anything, he would have scooped Joia and kept as far away from the sharp hissing creature as he could.

I think having a bit more say in the way the operative reacts to their companions would add to the story, however I recognize this is a work in progress and you can always add stuff later on, so I'm not all that worried about it.

(I also recognize I've been thoroughly spoiled by HG and how interactivefictionity it is. You might stick to a more book-like approach and there's nothing wrong with that. Different strokes for different folks)

Anyway, this game is super solid and I'm excited to see what happens next :3

#project hadea #project hadea spoilers

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 6 months

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Hello, so this not a request per se; but seeing your reaction to the latest archon story quest, I was curious, but which nation do you think has the best story arc so far? Sumeru or Fontaine? what you like the most? Just want to hear your thoughts and opinions, that’s all.

oooh that's a good question!! i'll put my answer under the cut because it got kinda rambly and there are spoilers (i'm also quite opinionated i'm warning you now!)

in terms of a consistent plotline, i think Sumeru was better. but in terms of personal enjoyment, i liked Fontaine more.

as for why i liked Fontaine more (except the prison part, fuck that), it's for a number of reasons- i like the characters more (Arlecchino and Furina being two of my absolute favorites), the stakes felt higher and more mysterious (Sumeru i kinda figured out what Dottore and Scaramouche were doing early on), the NPC deaths hit hard because they actually stayed dead (rip Melus and Silver you two will not be forgotten), i really liked the trial aspects, and also FOUL LEGACY APPEARANCE!!!! HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY!!!!! it also helped that Fontaine was the first archon questline to not feature the Fatui as the main bad guys, which i absolutely love

oh and i like the narwhal weekly boss better than the Scaramech boss. in fact i have a bit of a hatred for the Scaramech boss because of how it's entirely based off of the floating rabbit-thing gimmick- the only reasons i generally enjoy doing it is because A.) we're beating up Scaramouche and B.) the music slaps

Furina is also one of my favorite characters in the entire game now. she doesn't quite top Childe/Foul Legacy, Arlecchino, or Baizhu, but she's up there. i liked her from the beginning because she was goofy and dramatic, and now i think her story was beautifully written and it was something i can also relate to in a sense, although obviously not nearly on the same scale as Furina's struggles. Nahida's story was also good and very tragic, but i don't have anywhere near the same attachment to her as i do to Furina (sorry little radish)

Fontaine also brought back the trend of Fatui Harbingers actually feeling intimidating. the last time i really felt in danger around a Harbinger was Dottore, and since he wasn't the focused Harbinger of the arc i knew he wasn't going to do anything super drastic- i kinda knew Signora was going to die (still in mourning btw) and Scaramouche lost his intimidation factor when he tried to become a god, so Arlecchino being a quiet but powerful force through sheer voice and stance is very lovely

also i generally enjoy underwater exploration more than the rainforest and desert desert MORE DESERT exploration in Sumeru, so that contributes to my Fontaine bias

obviously there are some parts that could be done better, like the implementation of the narwhal boss and the plotline flowing a little better and Chlorinde definitely needing more screentime (better than Sara at least), but yeah Fontaine is my personal favorite. also the whole "erase our problems from everyone's memory" conclusion in Sumeru is kinda ehhhh, i can see why they did that but also the tree containing literally all the world's knowledge is lowkey boring and becomes a bit of a plot hole if you think about it. why couldn't we just take a little trip back to Sumeru to find out the origins of Fontaine's prophecy? i'm sure Nahida, bless her heart, would be more than happy to tell us what's up, but obviously we can't do that because it'd be too easy

i think Fontaine had higher highs and lower lows while Sumeru was consistently pretty good, so if you want a good, solid plotline to show someone, show them Sumeru. i liked Fontaine better, but that's definitely personal preference, hope that answers your question!

#genshin talk #genshin spoilers #chit chat #anon #also skirk's design is the biggest letdown since dehya's kit i'm sorry #it's so... bland. i guess the colors are nice but i feel like we have so many light-haired girls that she just looks normal #not to mention that i saw the concept art which was way better #yes i know it's concept art but they couldn't let her keep the boning details? or maybe made her fish fins more pronounced?#oh hell just make the underside gradient of her hair deeper in color and maybe dotted with stars #that'd be cool but no she just looks boring #obviously if you like her design that is totally fine #this opinion is coming from someone who thinks arlecchino's suit is the second best thing to happen in this game so to each their own #(the first best thing is obviously foul legacy)#anyways tell me what yall think too! please keep conversation polite and respectful if you do <33 #good evening :)

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silvery-bluish · 7 months

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Self and Know for Ars, Friendship for BB and Ris 👀❓

Questions from here!

Thanks as always for the ask Jazz!!!

Ars

Self: How is your OC's relationship with themself? Does your OC like who they are? Is there anything about themself that they would change?

Oh god very bad. Self-rival bad brain morass going on in there. They view themself more in terms of what use they are to other people, and unfortunately they don't think they have anything to offer except their mess of a crusade. Too sharp too strange too dangerous for anything else.

But the thing is they also don't... really want to change any elements of themself? They can't be anything other than what they are-- or, even if they change, become softer, more open, they still contain those other versions of themself, they don't stop existing just because they're out of sight? and they're torn between wanting that self to vanish within the safer names and shapes they wrap themselves in or just vanish altogether, and wanting that self to be seen and accepted and allowed to exist in plain sight.

Know: How well does your OC know themself—their wants, their goals, their motivations? Do they engage in any sort of self-reflection? Is there anything about themself they willfully ignore?

Ars Tries Very Hard not to think about themself. Blank Spot in the middle of their own perception, look Outward instead of Inward. They have approximate knowledge of their goals and motivations, although a lot of those are wrapped in a sort of. Recentering Off of themself? It's all in terms of getting justice for Anathema, in tearing things apart for other people, not in terms of their own hurt and pain (that is 100% factoring in to their decisions! they're just firmly not thinking about it being a factor).

And their wants, well. Those are Unimportant, even the ones they know they have, so what's the point in examining them? They want things, sure, yeah, but wanting them isn't enough anymore.

Arsinoe's in just. such a strange place about self-reflection. Because there's certain things they'll mull over and over again, refuse to let fade to background noise, but most of those are the things that hurt them? Museum diorama mindscape, preserve everything how it Was and very carefully not thinking about the fact that they could be wrong about their Totally Objective View of things. And all things considered they have a fairly firm sense of self, they just. Can't consistently articulate it to people.

BB

Friendship: What's your OC like as a friend? How are they at making new friends? What are the most important friendships in your OC's life?

I think BB considers a lot of people friends on a very surface level. He knows your name and smiles and nods hi and sometimes you get coffee but neither of you actually know what's going on in each other's more personal life, you know? Breaking the Sidestep Mold (because he's only sometimes a Sidestep) to front as Politely Friendly most of the time.

Actually close friends he has significantly fewer of. You've gotta unwind fifteen layers of his nonsense masks off first. When he's not being Sidestep, he and Ars were the original Ride Or Die team back during the farm days. Mutually deeply protective and very specific about not showing that externally when they could avoid it because that's a big no-no and a potential weakspot. When he IS Sidestep, he was genuinely very close to Julia back in the step days! Secret crush that was like 75% gender envy (it's faded out pretty much entirely esp after he flirts with her as the puppet LMAO 'oh im. hm. not actually into her anymore. interesting. wonder what that's about.') but even without that their like. Different personas that are Still Them depending on the social context sort of rhymes???

Ris

Friendship: What's your OC like as a friend? How are they at making new friends? What are the most important friendships in your OC's life?

Ris is a fantastic friend thank you and they're very proud of that. With them I'm trying to manifest like. Biker who has a kitten in their jacket energy. Absolute sweetheart. Deeply loyal, quick to make friends when that loyalty is returned (and even sometimes when it isn't but they're trying to make Healthy Choices lol). They're more reticent about talking about their own issues, because they're not supposed to be the one who needs help, they're supposed to do the helping.

Important friendship-wise, historically, pre-BG3 plot, their best friend is a Triton named Pike who is also their ex (affectionate). Pike's a pirate whose crew briefly pseudo-adopted a teenaged Ris for a bit while they were Rebounding from their ex (derogatory). The two of them broke up when it was generally agreed that Ris didn't make a very good pirate and should stop hanging out on a pirate ship LOL. They still keep in touch and Ris does consistently introduce them as "this is my ex pike." It's a running joke.

I don't want to turn this into a whole Ramble but them @ the whole party is basically "ive known these people for three weeks and i would commit murders for them" but some of that's probably the trauma bonding: this time with hivemind lite!

#arsinoe #bb #polaris #ars vc: i know whats going on in my head i dont need to look at it (they are wrong)

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incarnateirony · 1 year

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Hi.I will say right away that I do not understand the situation with Patrick very well, but for several years I was thrown information that he wrote with the words:"look at what Patrick writes, he has secret sources, he owns insider information," but I'm such a person that I don't take his word for it, so every time I started checking how reliable it was, and every time I came to the conclusion that this Patrick is just a stupid talker who doesn't own any secret sources. I will give a small example:last summer, Patrick wrote that Jared will have a new project not on the CW and that Jared has three projects: Walker, Windy and a new one not on the CW.And Jared's poor stans spent the whole summer wondering where their precious whiner would be filmed, in fact it turned out that Jared was just going on vacation, so he canceled the convention, and not because he was working.This is just a small example of how Patrick gives out wishful thinking for insider information .We all know that Jared's stans doesn't like Walker and they're jealous of Jensen, so they want other projects for Jared.So when they send me something with the words:"look what Patrick wrote," then I tell them to "fuck off with this stupid cunt"

Yeah, it's literally years ongoing of vaguing, stalking, denial, and wishful thinking.

The guy once in a while hears something vaguely convention relevant that actually happens but he tries to pass his convention socialite nonsense as real production connection or a viable method to maintain meritful intel. Or blurs the lines of those connections.

Like basically sometimes he'll vague at some guests that seem to come true. Fair enough. His whole life and that of his friends revolves around being consumers in the convention market, so I'm unsurprised they hear news about what will be consumable to consumers in the consumer market at that level of involvement.

It's the overall stretching of that awareness--and hell, it's ability to fail, like your example, or the fact he just got busted outright lying about M&G contents and is known for it on the lowkey to people that rotate in and out of those greets by the dozens and watch him lie and butcher what's said in them for years.

The guy has never had a meaningful piece of intel land much less about the shows, much less about THIS show. Like this one in particular, any canker sore that had given him viable info in mainbody SPN seems to have been yeeted. He literally hasn't had a single thing right about The Winchesters and has failed at every denial to date so far but still can not be compelled to shut the fuck up, because he wants the attention so damn bad. And the free gold tickets he grifted out of people with the shit.

Man has been a consistent leak failure for 6 years but people lost to their delusional psychic landscapes of self importance just like hearing what he says and imagine if they wish real real hard, THIS TIME he'll be right about something.

Also frankly his con sources aren't even that good, apparently mine outrank his, and that's all I can say, because he'd also be shutting up even from a con angle at this point if he had a real clue. If ANY of his CE connections were even worth a damn he'd have the context and information enough to know one of the several reasons I keep saying TW/CM is fine.

in hindsight it's genuinely funny that for all his work and posturing, the market i've made clear I give a shit about the absolute least and ignore until he and his friends fuck up on main, i still somehow have better ears on the wall at than him. without paying a dime. bless.

if the man stayed in his own lane and just admitted he was only a con coverer, I wouldn't mind. I'm sure he'd still butcher con coverage, but everyone butchers con coverage. But it's his desperate need to pretend it makes him Somebody That Knows Something, even when he's proven a hundred times to the opposite. Nobody would bother him if he just reported shit, it's him pretending he can talk in the production box by proxy that turns him into a living clown.

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