#I don’t actually condone murder pls don’t get me in trouble | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mushroomfen · 4 years

Text

I need to get back into writing things, and I have a WIP that I’ve been wanting to work on for months but don’t have the energy to continue and have just been editing it to HELL and back. I’ve finally decided to just throw the intro up here for my fellow Dragon Age friends to garner some feedback and/or opinions on if it’s actually something people would want to read??

Anyway its supposed to end up being a bridge between my canon DA2 and Inquisition, and then put some more DA2 characters into the mix of the Inquisition problems as well. It’s also supposed to end up being Fenders, but it’s a slow burn and there’s nothing suggesting that in the intro. For reference, my canon Hawke romanced Anders. I still don’t have a title don’t @ me... pls let me know what you think and if you’d be interested in more!

The Champion stood, panting heavily as he watched the charred corpse become simply ashes in the wind. It was done, everything was over. The menace of Meredith was gone and Orsino’s hypocritical corpse lay dead in the tower. Garrett Hawke’s face was stony, a straight, almost downturned line replaced the playful grin that always seemed to grace his lips. Kirkwall, his city, was in ruin, burning down around him once again. Today was a day of sorrow, of war, of a city crumbling to ruin, and Hawke knew he was the only one that could lead these shattered people into the beginning of an end.

Garrett’s gaze shifts, taking a second to rest on each of his companions, silently accounting for each and every one. He ignores the pain in his side that reminds him there’s a deep gash oozing a steady flow of blood, and instead starts to call attention to Merrill who’s currently rummaging through her bag for bandaging. His voice catches in his throat when his gaze falls on the final companion though, the cause of this mess.

No, that’s too harsh, he’s the cause of the beginning of the war, of this start. He’s what gave mages the chance, the courage, and the ability to fight back. He’s not the reason this happened, and it needed to happen. But... to go this far? To cause this much devastation?

With a heavy sigh, Hawke shakes his head and turns away from the man he loved… no, loves... and makes his way across the courtyard to Fenris. The warrior frowns when he spots Hawke, shaking his head in disapproval at the gash in Hawke’s side. Despite Hawke’s protesting, Fenris rips off some cloth from a nearby tapestry to wind around Hawke’s middle, “Hawke-”

Before he could get his chastising out, Fenris was cut off by an unusually low and serious voice, “Fenris, I need to speak with you, after this mess is cleaned up. Meet me in Hightown when you can.”

Hawke’s voice raises the hair on the back of Fenris’ neck and his eyes narrow. Despite the unusual tone however, Fenris finds only honesty and pleading amongst the anguish in the amber depths. His stomach drops, “I’ll be there.”

Once back at his manor, Hawke took to pacing. He knew Fenris wouldn’t be coming till late that night, but it does nothing to calm the turmoil within him. At first Biscuit, his mabari, whines and snuffles at his heels, but quickly admits defeat after receiving only a gruff “goodnight” from Garrett. With a worried whine, he trots obediently upstairs, leaving Hawke alone with his troubled thoughts.

Hours later, it’s just as he’s climbing the stairs to try and sleep that Hawke hears the door cautiously swing open and Fenris announcing his presence. Hawke’s chest tightens in anticipation and worry, calling for Fenris to join him in the main room.

“You look distressed, Hawke.” Fenris starts as he joins him in the room, watching as Hawke takes a seat on one of the plush chairs by the fire.

Sighing, Hawke can only nod in agreement, hands coming up to rub at his face, “You might want to have a seat, you’re not going to want to hear this…”

“This has to do with the mage, doesn’t it? Maker knows you love him, Hawke, but this? He went too far-”

“I know!” Hawke snaps, cutting Fenris’ scathing words off. The fire in Hawke’s eyes dims when he meets Fenris’ icy glare and he continues more softly, staring into the fire instead, “I know... that’s why I need your help.”

It takes several long moments, Fenris’ narrowed gaze searching Hawke’s defeated form when finally, with a soft huff, he takes a seat.

“I’m listening.”

“Thank you, Fenris,” Hawke lets out a relieved breath, but the anxiousness stays, this could still end badly, and he knows it. Even with hours upon hours of playing conversation after conversation over in his head, he still has no idea where to even start. “I… Anders… well...he-”

“Spit it out, Hawke this isn’t like you. Where is the mage anyway? I figured he’d be here, hiding.” His voice is gruff, frustrated, and now he’s gazing around, looking for Anders.

“No, no he’s at the clinic, and I’m going there after this to make sure he’s alright.” Hawke says warily, rubbing the back of his neck, “He has to pack up his stuff.”

“At least he has some sense to leave before the second wave of templars come-”

“You’re going with him.” Hawke blurts, the crackling of the fire only adding to the crackling tension between the two.

“What?” Fenris’ words feel like they’re made of steel, slicing through Hawke’s very being.

“Please, Fenris, just hear me out. I’m doing this for a reason, I’m asking you for a reason.” Fenris just regards him with a stony stare for several moments and eventually the silence prompts Hawke to continue, “I…I truly believe that Justice, though with no ill intention from either him nor Anders to begin with, is now corrupted. No good spirit would condone murder of innocents to prove a point-even a spirit of Justice.” Hawke gets a terse nod from Fenris and watches as he ever so slightly sits back in the seat, a sign that he was listening, and it spurs Hawke on, “E-Ever since he first mentioned the potion to separate himself from Justice, I started doing some of my own digging. I’ve heard stories of an Avvar hold in the Frostback Basin, that they have a ritual to separate spirits from their people. I don’t know if its just rumors or if it’ll be any good, or if it won’t work with Demons but-”

“You want me to take him there.” Fenris finishes, tone completely flat.

“I… yes.”

“No.” Once again Fenris’ voice cuts deep into Hawke as he stands, “If your lover was dumb enough to get himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it. You go with him if you think it’s worth it.”

“You know I can’t leave Kirkwall like this! It’ll destroy itself-”

“So, let it, Hawke! This city isn’t your child!” Fenris snarls in frustration, turning to leave, “Say for some Maker damned reason I do go, then what, Hawke? I’d sooner kill him before we even reached the Frostbacks!”

“Exactly!” Already in the entryway, Fenris pauses, ears twitching, “And exactly why I cannot do it myself.”

“What are you talking about?” Fenris murmurs, voice thick with suspicion, but he couldn’t deny his curiosity now, turning back to find Hawke also stood by his chair, “Are you asking me to kill your beloved mage?”

“Maker no!” Hawke recoils harshly at that, “I beg it doesn’t come to that-but… I need someone with him that wouldn’t hesitate to…to put him down if he-”

“Becomes an abomination.” Fenris finishes roughly, “Hawke, what makes you think he isn’t one already?”

The question, though accusatory, is sincere, and Hawke has to bite his tongue before he speaks. “I know he’s said he is merged with Justice and that there is no separation, but I cannot believe that. Abominations have shown to lose control over their own bodies when threatened, and they cannot hold human emotions, show restraint, or act upon the kindness and generosity Anders does…” Hawke bites his lip before continuing, “Do you remember when he almost killed the mage girl we saved in the tunnels?”

“Yes…” Fenris’ skin prickles at the memory, hair standing on end.

“Think, Fenris… Would an abomination be able to stop that course of action? Would Anders have been able to hole himself up in a clinic and wallow in guilt and remorse and self-hate for days on end because of something he couldn’t control?”

“So he can’t control it!“

“But he can Fenris! He stopped Justice! There’s still an Anders in him!” Hawke is practically shouting now, but catches himself and continues much more softly, “Please Fenris, just try and look past the spirit-the demon. Anders puts up this… this wall for everyone but it’s because he’s scared and knows deep down he made a mistake! He’s doing everything he can to hold himself together when a demon of vengeance is wreaking its havoc on his body!”

“It is well deserved for his foolish decision to harbor it in the first place.” Fenris’ lips curl, shaking his head in distaste.

“Andraste’s tits-Fenris please, please, just this once, see Anders. The good, kind, well-meaning man that gives everything to the people in Darktown to have a better life. Doesn’t that man deserve the chance to make his life better too? Doesn’t he deserve the chance to separate himself from the mistake he made?” Hawke is pleading now, gaze holding firm against Fenris’ narrowed one.

“You want me to give the mage who betrayed you a second chance. To take him across Fereldan on my own to a rumored possibility that most likely won’t work to separate him from something that has proved dangerous and that he insists is fully merged with his being.” Fenris repeats slowly, the words feeling like blades against his tongue, “Do you realize how stupid you sound right now?”

“Yes.” Hawke hisses, but there is no malice, only desperation, “Do you realize how spiteful you sound, Fenris? How merciless and inconsiderate? A man, a man you have fought beside for 9 years now, is suffering, has been suffering and all of us have just... stood there and let it happen…” Hawke trails off with that remark, clearly haunted by his own inability to see the clear signs of distress, to notice what was going on with his own lover. “I know you both have your differences and I know you don’t see eye to eye, and I know he’s said horrible things to you and I take blame for that too, but… I’m not asking for you to be friends, or even friendly. I do know you can respect each other and can take care of yourselves, and you know each other well. All I’m asking from you, Fenris, is to be an escort, you’re the only one I trust to take him down if… if he goes too far. Please, Fenris. I need you.”

Hawke holds Fenris’ calculating gaze, before finally he looks away, takes a seat again and stares into the fire. Still, Fenris is silent as Hawke waves a hand dismissively, “I’m sorry. I realize I’m asking too much of you, Fenris. I would like a moment alone before I go to Darktown if you don’t mind.”

“When does he leave?” Hawke almost doesn’t register the quiet question, but after a moment he lifts his head to look back at Fenris in the entranceway, “What?”

“I asked, when does he leave?” Fenris repeats, a bit more forcefully, eyes averted and arms crossed, defensive.

“I… I have a ship that agreed to quietly sail two passengers across the Waking Sea to Amarathine. It leaves the docks at dawn.” Hawke murmurs, still wary but feeling a spark of hope flare in his chest.

“I’ll be at the clinic before first light.” Fenris mutters gruffly, forcefully slamming the door closed behind him. For the first time that day, there’s a small smile on Hawke’s face.

#dragon age 2 #da2 #Fenian writes #wip tag

2 notes · View notes