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stargazer-sims · 3 years

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Journal Entry #32

Victor

I spent the day with my lifelong best friends, Leo and Ellie, and it was amazing, but also kind of bittersweet.

I love Ellie and Leo so much, and I've missed being with them ever since I moved to Mt. Komorebi. Growing up, we were always together. In fact, the first time we were ever apart was when Ellie went to university, and even then, she was home on weekends, at Winterfest and in the summer, and Leo and I could always make the trip to Britechester to visit her if we wanted to.

When I took off to Mt. Komorebi, it was different. We really were separated then, and if I'd known how painful it was going to be, maybe I wouldn't have done it. And the worst part is, I didn't even understand just how much it would hurt until we were reunited. I know, that probably sounds stupid, but it's how I feel. I was super happy to have the team back together, but at the same time, I was sad because I didn't want to think about being away from them again.

Oh, In case I never mentioned it before, Leo is my cousin, and he’s only about three and a half months older than me. Ellie isn’t related to me, but we call each other cousins, too. She’s Julian’s daughter, and we basically grew up together. She’s exactly four months younger than me; my birthday is December second and hers is April second. We always joke that she barely missed being born on April Fool’s Day. Just like Ellie, to be slightly late for everything.

Ellie's tendency to habitually run five minutes behind schedule was the reason we all decided to meet at her house. Leo texted me after breakfast and said he'd pick me and Yuri up in his car, but it was a nice day, and I opted to ride my bike instead.

As it turned out, Yuri didn't want to join us. When I asked him why, he said he wasn't feeling well. I don't know if that was true or not, but if I were to guess, I'd say it's more likely he was anxious about hanging out with my friends for an extended period of time. Yuri's not antisocial or anything. The problem is, he knows my friends are loud, spontaneous and high energy, and he finds it stressful and exhausting to be around people like that for too long, especially if he's not well-acquainted with them. He'd do better with them one-on-one, I think.

Anyway, to my surprise, Ellie was ready when I got there, and it was Leo we had to wait for. According to him, he was trying to figure out how to fit his bike in the trunk of his car.

"You should've just rode it over here, dude," I told him.

"Couldn't," he said. "I'm going to need the car later."

I didn't ask him what for, but I was sure I'd find out sooner or later.

We agreed that Ellie and I would ride to Magnolia Blossom Park on our bikes, and Leo would meet us at the municipal parking lot across from the park. We'd do a little bike racing once we got there.

Before we left, we set up all our phones on the fence in front of Ellie's neighbour's house and put them on self-timer so we could take a bunch of silly photos of ourselves. Far be it from us to make serious memories. That's not our style.

I’m pleased to say, I haven’t lost any of my bike racing prowess, despite not having done it for a while. It’s not my best sport, but I guess you all know that. Still, I’m not bad at it, even if I say so myself.

Speaking of my best sport, Leo told me there’s already been snow on the mountains. I’m hoping we’ll see a decent snowfall while I’m here, so Yuri, Leo and I can go up there and get a few good runs in. I’m dying to show Yuri where I learned to snowboard. It may not seem like much compared to Yukimatsu, but I love it anyway. It was my first love, you could say, and it's where I'd trained for the Canada Winter Games.

It's hard to believe it's already been seven years since I won my Canada Games silver medal. That was my first really big win as an adult competitor, and it was the moment when I realized people other than my family, coach and friends would take me seriously as a professional athlete. It feels like it was only a short time ago that Mom, Julian, Ellie and Leo travelled out west with me and my coach to watch me compete and cheer me on. That's another one of my most wonderful memories with my friends.

Unfortunately, our bike racing only lasted as long as it took for us to annoy some old people who were playing chess and drinking lemonade at a table with a yellow and white striped umbrella. One old guy picked up his cane and waved it at us, and literally yelled at the top of his lungs, "Stop making so much noise!"

We cracked up laughing at the sheer irony of it. To be fair, we were making quite a lot of noise, but it's a public park and there's no law against having a good time. In the interests of not aggravating the elders to the point where they decided to call the park patrol on us, however, we wheeled our bikes over to the fence. Then, we retrieved a ball from Leo's car and started up a random game of soccer.

We played ball until we were starving and ready for a rest. Ellie spotted a hotdog vendor, so we all searched our pockets for money, and ran over to the food truck.

The food truck guy looked at us funny when we ordered nine hotdogs, but a paying customer is a paying customer, and he didn't complain. He just loaded all the hotdogs onto a Styrofoam plate, gave us some napkins, mustard packets and some extra plates to eat off of, and took our money without comment.

We found a picnic table in the shade and settled down to enjoy our lunch. Behind me, I could hear kids on the playground equipment, laughing and talking. Someone was cooking something in one of the public fire pits, and the smell of wood smoke and roasting food drifted in the air. I closed my eyes for a minute, wanting nothing more than to soak in every non-visual detail; longing to commit every sound, scent and sensation to my mind and aching a little because I knew there would be elements I could never recreate in my imagination no matter how hard I tried.

Ellie nudged my leg with hers, under the table. "Victor? You okay?"

"I'm good," I said, opening my eyes again. "Just thinking."

"You gotta be careful doing that," Leo said. "You could start a fire."

"Shut up, dumbass," Ellie said. "I think he's having a nostalgia moment or something."

"I kind of am having a nostalgia moment," I affirmed. "We used to come here all the time, and I don't know what it is about the hotdogs from food trucks, but they always taste the best. You can't get good hotdogs in Mt. Komorebi, and it's been like a million years since I've had any kind of hotdog at all, because Yuri can't eat them."

"The only hotdogs that are better than food truck ones are the ones cooked on campfires," Leo said.

"Exactly," I agreed. "Now that I think about it, I did have hotdogs during my trip to Sulani, back in late spring, so I guess it hasn't been that long. Maybe it's the company that makes them taste so great."

"How was that, anyway?" Ellie asked. "Sulani is on my list of places to go before I'm too old to enjoy it."

"It was fantastic," I said. "If you get a chance to travel, you should definitely do it. You'd love it."

"I don't know about her, but I'd love it," Leo said. "Kilometers of golden beaches and lots of cute girls in bathing suits? Yes, please."

"Ignore him," Ellie said. "Tell me about the cute boys in bathing suits."

I grinned at her. "Well, I was there."

"Shut up!" she kicked my foot. "I can't have you, can I? I meant the other cute boys."

"I have an idea, Ellie," Leo said. "We can go together, then there'll be at least one cute boy and one cute girl in bathing suits on the beach."

Ellie kicked him as well. "Can I get new friends, please?"

"Come on," I said. "You love us."

"Yeah, I do," she acquiesced. "Probably way more than I should."

"Victor, are you still planning to go to Selvadorada after Winterfest?" Leo wanted to know.

"That's the plan," I said. "Why?"

"Well, I had some thoughts about that."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "What thoughts would you have about me and my husband going to Selvadorada?"

"You can say no to this if you want," Leo said. "But, I was thinking we could turn it into a group adventure. When you first told us you were going, Ellie and I talked about it, and we thought it'd be fun if we all went."

"Really? You guys want to come to Selvadorada?"

"We wouldn't exactly come with you," Ellie said. "Not unless we both came to Mt. Komorebi first, or you and Yuri came back here. We were thinking that the four of us could arrange our travel plans together and meet up when we arrive."

"That..." I began, but had to stop and take a breath. "You guys... I would love that. You're serious, right? Please say you are, because I totally want to do this with you now."

"Of course we're serious," Ellie said.

"I'll talk to Yuri about it," I promised. "I think he'll agree, but let me ask him and get back to you. Then we can start organizing it."

"Sweet!" Leo exclaimed. "If you can't convince him, let me try to talk him into it. I'm very persuasive."

"I don't think that'll be necessary," I said.

"You'd probably scare him, Leo," said Ellie.

"Me?" Leo retorted "Like he wouldn't be scared of you?"

"He'd be nervous of both of you, acting like this," I said. "He needs to get to know you a little more. Let me see what he thinks of the group adventure, and if he's okay with it, maybe we can all do something he enjoys while we're here, so he can have a chance to get used to you."

"What's he into besides snowboarding?" Ellie asked.

"Music and art and history. He likes video games and movies, and one of our friends recently started teaching him how to knit, so he's been into that lately. And he can swim now, so there's that."

"If he likes art and history, maybe we can go to the museum," Ellie suggested. "It'd be boring as hell for us, but it'd be a low stress environment, and maybe we could go to the municipal pool afterwards."

"Great," I said. 'I'll ask him when I get back to Mom's house tonight."

"Sounds like we have a plan." Ellie gave us a thumbs-up.

We finished our hotdogs and then — I kid you not — we took a nap. The three of us laid on the cool grass under a tree, all heaped together in a pile of cuddles, and dozed off to the soft whispering rustle of leaves overhead.

These are my people, I thought, as I drifted off. The only other person in the world I could lie down with and sleep this close to is Yuri, but I still feel like I have to be careful with him. With Ellie and Leo, I'm not the protector. I'm the one being protected. Or perhaps more accurately, all three of us are protectors and protected in equal measure. With them, I've always felt absolutely safe, and I was infinitely grateful to discover that fact hadn't changed one bit in my absence.

I'm not sure how long we slept, but It must've been at least an hour and a half, judging by how far the sun had crossed the sky by the time we woke up. We disentangled ourselves and sat up, favouring each other with stupid, sleepy grins. Ellie picked leaves out of Leo's hair, and I picked one out of hers. I shook my head vigorously to dislodge any leaves that may have been stuck to me, and my friends laughed when all I accomplished was to make myself dizzy.

I flopped backwards into Ellie's lap, and she plucked a leaf from my hair with the teasing comment, "Look, Victor. You're turning into a tree."

"Are you saying I'm tree-mendous?"

"Yes," she said. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

We climbed to our feet and brushed ourselves off. Not quite ready to call it a day, we wandered around the park, chatting about everything and nothing. When we passed by the grandstand, we saw there was a band just setting up for an outdoor concert, so we bought some snacks and bottled water and returned to get a good spot on the grass by the stage before the area started to fill up.

The band was a local one, and although they probably weren't going to make the Top 100 any time soon, they weren't too bad. We had fun and danced a bit and tried to sing along to some covers. Sadly, Ellie is as bad at singing as I am. Leo is the only one of us with any musical talent whatsoever. It didn't matter, though. Musical ability isn't a requirement to be a member of the team.

The sun was beginning to set by the time the band wrapped things up, and we made our way back to the spot where we'd left our bikes chained to the fence.

"What should we do now?" Ellie inquired. "Do you guys want to go to the Blue Velvet for some burgers and drinks or something?"

"I'd love to, but I gotta get going," Leo said. "I promised Uncle JP and Aunt Lin that I'd babysit the girls tonight while they're out."

"Seriously?" I said. "Aren't they too old to need a babysitter? They're like, fourteen and sixteen."

"How old were you when your mom let you stay home alone overnight?"

"Um... never?" I said. "If Mom had to be away overnight for some reason, I was always at your house, or Ellie's. The first time I stayed overnight anywhere by myself was when I had my own apartment."

"Right," Leo said. "Anyway, would you leave Isabella and Maddie home alone? They'd probably fatally wound each other if they were left unsupervised."

"Not much like your sisters," Ellie commented. "Alessandra and Kiki are practically joined at the hip."

Leo grinned. "Kind of like us."

"Yeah, except we're capable of wounding each other if we're left unsupervised," I said.

"Mostly because we're doing some crazy plan you guys came up with," Ellie pointed out.

"Us?" Leo said. "You come up with the craziest plans. Remember that time we decided to build our own hang glider? That was totally your idea."

"True, but you two are just reckless enough not to have said no."

We all laughed at that, and it felt so good. I remembered the adventures we used to have, and I recalled the hang glider incident all too well. It was lucky we'd only decided to jump off the roof of Uncle Stephen's garden shed, because, although the contraption we'd built kind of worked, it wasn't capable of sustained flight and we probably would've killed ourselves if we'd tried to jump off anything higher. As it was, Ellie had ended up spraining her ankle, and Leo had accidentally hit me on the head while we were trying to position the ladder to climb up to the shed roof. Somehow, Leo had been the only one unscathed, and we'd called him Super Leo for weeks afterward.

"A fine example of why we shouldn't be left unsupervised," I commented. "There was also the time we built the raft and became Willow Creek's first pirates, remember?"

Leo laughed. "It was all good until the cops found out."

"How were we supposed to know you're not allowed to sail homemade rafts in the canal?" said Ellie.

"Hey," I said. 'I was the one who said we should've stuck to sailing in the creek, in case you forgot."

"I thought your mom was going to lose it when the police car pulled up to the clinic with all three of us in the back," Ellie said. "It's one of those times when I wish I'd had a camera, just to capture the expression on her face."

"Your dad's reaction wasn't much better," I reminded her. "Not to mention how Aunt Millie screamed at me about accidentally almost drowning Leo."

"Mom overreacted," Leo said. "The way I remember it, I nearly drowned myself, and you were trying to rescue me. And like, I'm still here to talk about it, so obviously you succeeded. Mom should've been thanking you."

"I don't think she saw it that way at the time," I said.

"No, probably not," he conceded. He sighed. "I'd love to continue this, but I really have to get going. Catch you tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," I said.

"Ellie?"

"I'm off tomorrow," she said. "I'm definitely up for whatever you've got in mind."

"I have to work till three o'clock," he said. "After that, though?"

"Awesome," said Ellie.

"I'll text you in the morning, Leo," I told him. "We can do something when you get off work. I'll try to talk Yuri into joining us, too."

"Cool," Leo said. "The more the merrier. See you tomorrow."

"See you later, Leo," Ellie said.

We all gave each other a playful, exaggerated wave goodbye.

Leo unchained his bike, and walked it up to the road. Ellie and I followed him for a short distance, but then we stopped and watched him trot off in the direction of the municipal lot where he'd parked his car.

Ellie reached for my hand. "Just us, now."

I smiled, loving the familiarity of her hand in mine. "Want me to walk you home?"

"What about our bikes?"

"They're chained on," I said. "They'll be fine till morning. I want to take the slow route back to the house."

"Maybe I should walk you home," she said. "You can invite me in for homemade ice cream and a movie. You know, if your husband isn't the jealous type and doesn't mind me cuddling you on the couch, that is."

"Uh... about that," I said. "Yuri probably wouldn't like us cuddling, even if it is totally innocent, but you can still come over. Ice cream and a movie sounds awesome, and you can even stay the night if you want."

"I'd like that," she said. "If I'm staying over, we'll have to stop at my place for a minute so I can grab some stuff. So, you can walk me home, and then I'll walk you home. Everybody wins."

"Everybody wins," I echoed happily. "I feel like I always win when I get to be with you, though. I've missed you a lot."

"Me too," Ellie said. "You don't even know how excited I was when you told me you were coming home. I almost offered to meet you at the airport myself."

"Why didn't you?"

"Mostly because I thought I'd start crying all over you and make a fool of myself in front of your husband," she admitted. "That, and I didn't want to deny your mother the opportunity to be the first to see you."

"You think Mom didn't cry all over me?"

"I'll bet you cried all over her, too."

"Yeah," I confessed. "You shouldn't have worried about crying in front of Yuri. He's used to people crying in front of him by now."

"And by 'people' you mean yourself," Ellie teased.

"You know I cry over everything."

She squeezed my fingers gently. "I know. You're sensitive. Most guys would try to be all tough and macho, and keep that stuff in, but I like that you don't."

"Yuri says the same thing. He doesn't judge me for it."

"You wouldn't be with him if he did," Ellie said. "He sounds like a sweet guy. I'm looking forward to getting to know him better."

"I think you'll get along," I said. "Remember not to be too loud, and not to touch him, and it'll be fine."

"So, that's really a thing? He actually doesn't like to be touched? Like, at all? Because you guys look like you're all over each other in the pictures you send."

"He lets me touch him now, but generally, yeah. He has a lot of anxiety about being touched. Like, it took a while before he was comfortable with me doing it, so..." I shrugged one shoulder. "If you want to upset him, that's the way."

"Good to know," Ellie said. "I'll keep that in mind."

We walked along in silence for a while after that. The sun was sinking lower and the air was starting to cool off dramatically, the way it always does on autumn evenings here. After having acclimated to the consistent cold temperatures in Kiyomatsu, I barely felt the damp chill. It entertained me to think that two years ago, I would’ve been reaching for a sweater right about now.

Ellie pointed in the direction of the creek. "Look how gorgeous the trees are. Does it look like this in Mt. Komorebi?"

"Sort of," I said. "Down in the valley, the leaves change colour like this. I took Yuri to Hanamigawa for his birthday back in September, and this is kind of what it looked like, but without the willows and the creek."

"That's why they call this place Willow Creek," she said, sounding amused.

"Logical."

"Want to go down by the water before it gets too dark?"

"Okay," I said. "Take me to our spot."

'Our spot' is about half a kilometer downstream from the park. The creek runs slowly there, and there's a huge old tree that reminds me of Grandmother Willow from that one Disney movie. It's a little challenging to get to, because you have to scale the fence along the side of the road and climb down over an embankment, but once you're down next to the water, the ground is level again.

This was the place we sought out when there was something serious going on in our lives and we needed to talk it over. Sometimes all three of us would gather here, and sometimes only two. In any case, it was always a safe space for us. No one bothered us there. It was perfect for discussing things that we didn't want anyone else to hear.

Ellie and I sat facing each other, and I tried to think of how many times over the course of our lifetime that we'd positioned ourselves like this.

We were about eight years old when we found our spot for the first time, and it was due to Ellie wandering away from her father and getting lost. Me and Leo and Uncle Stephen had found her here, leaning on the fence and staring at the creek. She hadn't been scared. Once she realized she didn't know how to get back to the park, she'd stayed where she was and waited for help.

Clearly, she'd paid attention on the way back, because the next time we visited the spot, it was on purpose, and Ellie had told us that her mother was getting remarried and that she didn't want to be in the wedding. Leo and I had attempted to help her hatch a plan to avoid wearing a princess dress and trying to mind her manners around a bunch of people she didn't know, but all our scheming had been to no avail. She was forced into the frilly daffodil coloured monstrosity, and had an utterly horrible day. Leo and I saw some pictures after the fact. Ellie looked murderous in every single one.

"What's so funny?" Ellie demanded.

"Nothing's funny," I said.

"You're smirking."

"Oh." I shook my head. "Thinking about those pictures of you at your mom and Patrick's wedding in that gross yellow dress."

"Ugh." Ellie scrunched up her face. "Can you not remind me?"

"Sorry," I said. "I've been thinking about a lot of stuff today. Not all the memories are good ones for everybody, apparently."

"It's okay. I shouldn't be surprised that you're remembering a lot of stuff. I have as well. I guess it's the team being back together."

"Yeah," I said. "That's mostly what I've been thinking about. I want to spend as much time with you guys as I can. I don't want to waste a moment, and maybe I have more thoughts than moments."

"I hear you," Ellie said. She picked some long blades of grass and began idly weaving them together. "Know what I've been thinking about?"

"What?"

"All the fun we used to have on camping trips. Leo and I haven't done that since you left."

"Why not?"

"It's not the same without you," she said. "Know what we should do before you go? We should drive up to Granite Falls and camp for a couple of nights.”

"I don't know," I said. "I don't think Yuri would like that. He's not much for roughing it."

"He doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to," Ellie said. "Anyway, I was thinking you, me and Leo, just like old times."

"All right. I'll see if it's okay with Yuri."

"It's so weird that you're married," Ellie said. "I mean, it's great. I knew you'd find somebody at some point, and I'm happy for you. It's just strange, you know? You go away for two years, and you come back with a husband."

"You knew me and Yuri were together before I even left."

"Yeah, of course, but if I'm being honest, I never expected you to leave in the first place. I guess I didn't realize how serious your online relationship was."

"Maybe I didn't either, until I got there. It was only supposed to have been a visit, but once I was physically with him, I knew I never wanted to be apart from him."

"I get that," Ellie said. "There are some people you need to have in your life, right?"

"Yeah."

"And some people you have to leave behind to make that happen."

"I guess."

"There was a time when I thought you, me and Leo would be together forever, just like your mom and my dad, but I guess life doesn't always go how we imagine, does it?"

"No, it doesn't," I agreed. "I'm sorry I broke up the team, but no matter what, I'll always be your friend. I'm never going to be out of your life, even if we're not in the same place."

"I know," she said, "But, it's not the same."

"You're right," I said. "It's not."

"Sorry if this sounds selfish, but sometimes I wish you'd never gone there. To Mt. Komorebi."

"It's not selfish. It's honest." I said. "You want to know something?"

"What?"

"There's a part of me that wishes I'd never left Willow Creek."

"Really?" She said.

"Yeah."

“What about Yuri?”

"I love Yuri more than anything, and I don't regret being with him, but being so far away from everything and everyone else I love is super difficult. Sometimes, I feel like crying because nothing's familiar. And trying to be an adult when I don't think I'm ready and there's nobody to help me is just... terrifying as hell." I sighed and looked away from her. "All those feelings hit me really hard when I walked into Mom's house the other day, and I... I don't think I want to go back to Mt. Komorebi now."

“Does Yuri know that?”

“No,” I said. “He’s never going to know.”

“Don’t you think you should tell him?”

“What would be the point? It’d only upset him, and it’s not like I have a choice anyway. We both have jobs and responsibilities there, and Yuri’s family is there. Plus, my immigration process was finalized a couple months ago, remember? Don’t you think it’d be kind of stupid to leave a country I just got permanent resident status in?”

“It’s more stupid to make yourself miserable just because you think it’ll help somebody else stay happy,” Ellie said.

“I don’t hate living in Mt. Komorebi, and I’m not miserable all the time,” I said. “I didn’t think I’d miss boring old Willow Creek that much, that’s all, and the dumbest thing is, I didn’t even know how much I missed it until I was back. I don't know. I'll probably get over it once I'm in Mt. Komorebi again, though."

"You don't always have to get over stuff, you know."

"What am I supposed to do, then? I can't drown in self-pity continuously. It's easier to figure out some kind of way to let it go."

"Easier for who?" Ellie asked. "You have to live with it, so it can't be easy for you, and I can tell you it's not easy for your friends to watch. Obviously I don’t know Yuri that well, but I doubt it's easy for him, either. If he loves you, don’t you think he’d want you to be happy instead of torturing yourself trying to please everybody else?”

“He always says that. That he wants me to be happy.”

“So, what is it? You don’t believe him?”

“No, I do believe him, but…”

“But what?”

“This is going to sound dumb,” I said.

“Go on,” she said. “I’m used to you sounding dumb.”

“You ever love somebody so much that you want to keep them safe from everything that could possibly hurt them? Like, even bad feelings and stuff? That’s how I feel about Yuri,” I said.

“It’s impossible to protect someone from everything.”

“Yeah, I know it’s impossible,” I said. “But, that doesn’t stop me from wanting to do it anyway.”

“I’ve never loved anyone like that,” Ellie said. “I don’t think anyone’s ever loved me like that either, but then again, I’m not sure I’d want them to.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because, as much as I’d want my partner to be my hero, I’d prefer him to be honest and open with me if there was something he thought might hurt me. I wouldn’t want him hurting himself and suffering in silence because he thought it’d make my life easier.”

“But, what if he knew you couldn’t handle it?”

“If I really couldn’t handle it, I’d expect him to support me through it.” Ellie levelled her gaze at me. “If he didn’t ask me and was just assuming I couldn’t, I’d be mightily pissed off at him for lacking faith in me and underestimating my ability to cope.”

“Yuri isn’t like that. I don’t think he’s angry at me for wanting to protect him. He likes it when I protect him.”

“But, would he want you to protect him if you had to put yourself in harm’s way to do it? Unnecessarily in harm's way, I mean. Think about that before you answer.”

I did. I tried to imagine what Yuri would say if he knew how badly I was hurting, how he might respond. I pictured him putting his arms around me and letting me cry, like he did the night I’d told him what happened with Ren at the fitness center. He’d be patient while I stumbled my way through a clumsy explanation of my feelings, and he’d surprise me with his insight and his resilience. I know I shouldn’t be surprised by that any more, but sometimes I think I can’t see past his physical frailty and tiny stature, and how he always says he needs me and wants me to keep him safe. My desire to shelter him overshadows my own need for him to take care of me, and maybe sometimes I deny him the opportunity to show he’s capable of that, because I’m too determined to not be a burden to him.

I didn’t even bother to hold back my tears or try to conceal them from Ellie. She’d seen me cry enough that it didn’t matter any more. I had nothing to prove to her.

I sniffled. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Trust him," Ellie said. "Trust him the way you trust me and Leo." She reached across the space between us and placed her hand on my knee. "Make him part of the team."

Hearing her say that, I felt like she'd knocked all the air out of my body. The team was me, Ellie and Leo, and it was... everything. I often tell Yuri he's everything, but in that moment I started to feel scared that it wasn't really true. How could I love someone so intensely, and yet not trust him as completely as I trust my friends?

But, I do trust him, I insisted to myself. I trust him in so many ways that matter.

But not in the way that allows him to protect you.

That night at the hotel, Yuri promised that from now on, he'd protect me the way I protect him, and it'd sounded good in my ears, but I wondered if it had ever penetrated my heart or my mind enough for me to believe it.

I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand, but it was no use. "I love him so much," I managed to say. "How could I fail this hard at being a good partner for him?"

Ellie stroked my knee. "I don't think you failed. You know what Dad says. You've only failed if you stop trying. You're not giving up on him, are you?"

"N-no," I said. "I'd never do that."

"I didn't think so," she said. "You've just got some stuff to work on."

"It's all so hard," I said "Growing up and having relationships and dealing with real life in general. You know what I mean?"

"Nobody said it'd be easy. You didn't think it would be, did you?"

"No, but I wish it was easier."

"Me too," she said.

"How am I supposed to tell Yuri that I don't want to leave?"

"Just tell him. You know you have to leave in a couple weeks in any case, but if you don't tell him, how will he know you want to come back?"

"Do you think he'd want to live here? Like, permanently?"

Ellie smiled. "I think you'd know that better than I would. Honestly, Victor, talk to him. Let him help you work through whatever's going on inside your head. You told me before, he's good at that, so you should let him do it more often."

I nodded. "You're right."

"Naturally," she said. "Why else would I be the team leader?"

I laughed, even though I was still crying. "I love you, Ellie."

She got up, and held out a hand to me. I took her hand, and she pulled me up to my feet and straight into the tightest embrace.

"I love you, Victor," she said. "I will always love you and I'll never stop. You can go to the ends of the earth, and I'll still love you."

"The ends of the earth and back," I whispered, and suddenly, I remembered where that phrase had originated. Ellie had said it into my ear as she hugged me goodbye at the airport on the day I left for Mt. Komorebi. Unwittingly, I'd started saying it to Yuri, and he'd started saying it to me.

We stood together for a long time, and I found it easy to calm down and stop crying in the security of Ellie's arms.

Eventually, we both stepped back.

"You look awful," Ellie said. "Let's go to my house and get you some cold water and something to get that redness out of your face." She gave me a mischievous little smile. "Yuri won't want to be my friend if he thinks I did something to make you cry."

"It wasn't you," I said.

"A likely story. 'I was alone with your husband and he was crying, but it totally wasn't my fault, I swear'."

"Okay, maybe he'd be suspicious if you said it like that. But yeah, let's go to your house. You were going to get some stuff and come over, right? You still want to?"

"Only if you're not planning to have that conversation with Yuri tonight."

"I don't think I'm ready to have a deep discussion tonight," I admitted. "Come over and spend some time with us. Maybe we can figure out a way to make homemade ice cream with almond milk so Yuri can have some too, and if you're nice, we might even let you pick the movie."

"Maybe we should let Yuri pick the movie," Ellie said. "You and I would probably choose the same sort of thing, but I'm curious to find out what he's into."

"I hope you have a secret passion for historical romances," I said.

Ellie groaned. "Ugh.. big no to that. Now, I'm one hundred percent convinced of how much you love him. The Victor I know wouldn't sit through five minutes of a historical romance, so you've got to be doing it for him."

"You have no idea how many historical romances I've sat through for him," I said. "Mostly, I'm in it for the cuddling, though. He watches the movie, and I'm the warm and comfortable human cushion he sprawls on."

"Okay, then. Historical romance it is," Ellie said cheerfully. "I've got to see that. Like, I'm already dying of how cute it sounds like you guys are."

"I can't speak for me, but Yuri is pretty cute."

"Don't worry. You're cute too." She slipped her arm through mine. "Come on. You're going to walk me home, aren't you? We'd better get going if we want to have movie night and not stay up past bedtime."

"Right," I said. "Ice cream, movie and a sleepover. Everything might not be exactly like it used to be, but I'm glad some things haven't changed."

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #Willow Creek #Leo DeLuca #Eleanor Britt #Victor Nelson #victorandyuri #the three ring circus #stargazersims #victorsworldadventures

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cocomaxley · 5 years

Text

Harry Potter & the CGW Squad

Part 1

Three out of the four CGW girls love Harry Potter. Just a fun little idea we threw around forever ago that finally got written. Hope you enjoy!

Part of the CGW TRR A/U, a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @leelee10898 and yours truly. Catch up HERE.

Pam, Anitah and Genevieve sat at the restaurant waiting for Alicia. “Who wants to bet that she's late because they're screwing in the limo right now?” Genevieve asked giggling. Pam rolled her eyes, “Not taking that bet.”

“You guys, we should have a Harry Potter movie marathon this weekend while the boys are camping!” Anitah squealed.

“This is what Alicia gets for being late,” Genevieve laughed. Alicia finally walked into the restaurant, trying to straighten her disheveled clothing. “Hey girls, sorry I'm late. I was...umm…well you know,” she giggled.

“Finally! I'm starving,” Pam grumbled. The girls talked and laughed through lunch. “Hey Alicia, since you were late, we planned our movies for girls night in,” Anitah said with an evil smile.

“No, no, no! I am not watching Harry Potter,” Alicia said rolling her eyes. “We're not watching Harry Potter,” Anitah said and Alicia let out a sigh of relief, “We are watching all of the Harry Potter movies!” Alicia groaned but knew she didn't have a choice.

Friday afternoon, Rashad was packing his bag and camping gear into the car. Genevieve met him outside since they were driving to the palace together, and he would ride with Drake to the campground. He looked at her and started laughing, “Sweetie, what are you wearing?” Genevieve was wearing a gray uniform skirt, with white button down shirt, yellow and burgundy tie, black cardigan and a black Hogwarts robe. She skipped up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him on the lips and said, “You had no idea that you married a nerd did you? Oh well, too late!”

“Well you guys can't get into too much trouble dressed like that. So I'm actually not scared of whatever you ladies get into tonight. I hope I don't regret saying that,” he chuckled. He opened the passenger door for her and they made the drive to the palace. They pulled up the driveway and saw Drake’s truck pulling up behind them. She giggled when Pam stepped out of the vehicle. She was wearing the Ravenclaw uniform which consisted of a black uniform skirt and blazer and a royal blue blouse along with her Hogwarts robe. Rashad shook his head and laughed. “Gryffindor, Gen? I pegged you for Slytherin,” Drake snorted.

“You seem to know your houses, Drakey...are you a closet Harry Potter fangirl?” She asked with a knowing smile. Drake’s face blushed, “I don't know what you're talking about. That's for kids.” He dropped his voice to barely a whisper, “If you say anything, I will deny it and then I will get you back. Remember I still owe you for Chicago, April Fools and a bunch of other times I can't think of right now.”

“Drake, you're so scary when you're mad...like a ferocious little kitten. Mrow,” Genevieve clawed her hand at him. “And you know you love me!” He muttered under his breath, “You’re right, I do love you…like the big sister I never wanted.”

Anitah waked out of her closet and Liam raised his brow, “My love, what are you wearing exactly?” Anitah smirked, “You don't like it, my King?” She unzipped the front of the black robe and showed him the Gryffindor uniform she was wearing. His eyes automatically snapped down to the the short gray skirt and white knee high tights. Liam swallowed hard, “I...I...never said that.”

Everyone was in the royal quarters waiting for Alicia and Leo. They walked in a few minutes later and Alicia stared at her friends. Her jaw dropped at the sight all of them dressed like they just got their Hogwarts letters. She burst out laughing, “You guys are the biggest dorks I’ve ever met in my life!” The three girls rolled their eyes.

The men kissed their wives goodbye and left for their camping trip. Once they arrived at the campsite, Liam said, “So they really like Harry Potter, huh?” Rashad nodded his head. Drake’s face turned red, and he couldn’t quite look at the other men in the eye, “Yeah, Pam loves it. I don’t get it.” Liam looked lost in thought for a moment before he said, “Maybe we should take them to the Harry Potter theme park in Florida? I think they’d love it and I can’t get the image of Anitah in that skirt out of my head…” He cleared his throat and stood up, trying to hide that he needed to adjust himself.

“I’m in. Gen will be super excited. She has been bugging me to read the books and watch the movies. She even tried to download the books on tape on my phone,” Rashad said. Drake perked up, “Yeah, sounds fun! I...I mean...there’s probably a lot to do in Orlando, right? Not just The Wizarding World of Harry Potter?” Leo raised his brow at him using the full name of the attraction.

“Well if we really want to make them happy, then we should probably watch the movies with our wives. We don’t want to look like complete idiots. I’ll have my assistant book the trip then,” Liam said. “Yeah, we own all of the movies! I mean...Pam...Pam has all of the movies,” Drake suddenly stood, walking to the cooler. “Man, you guys are so whipped. I’m so glad Alicia doesn’t like that shit. We’ll still go, there’s a ton to do there,” Leo said rolling his eyes. The guys threw their beer cans at him, Rashad saying, “Yeah, we’re whipped. Who have you been texting non-stop since we left, Leo?” Leo’s flushed crimson, “She’s sending me some interesting information about...about stocks…”

Sunday afternoon, after watching the very last movie, Alicia stood up and said, “I still don't get why you guys love these so much. It's just not my thing.” Anitah rolled her eyes, “Easy, because the books and movies are amazing!” The door opened and the men walked in from their camping trip. Liam suggested they all have dinner together after the men showered and cleaned up.

The group went to the dining room. “We had an idea while camping. I had my assistant make the necessary arrangements for all of us to go to the Harry Potter theme park in Orlando.” Anitah, Pam and Genevieve all let out excited squeals. “You guys need to get sorted into your houses and find your patronuses!” Genevieve babbled excitedly.

Drake let out a snort, “You know who would be in Gryffindor? Liv...all Weasleys get sorted into Gryffindor!” He slapped his knee, laughing at his own joke. The other guys and Alicia turned to him with questioning looks. “Drake, you seem to know a lot about Harry Potter. Is there anything you want to tell us, buddy?” Leo asked him with a smirk. Drake’s cheeks turned pink, “I may have watched the movies with Pam…”

Genevieve scoffed, “Please! He loves Harry Potter. When I say love, I mean love. He has Harry Potter boxer shorts that he asked Pam to buy him for Christmas. What were they, Drake? The Marauder’s map? Also, I know that you and Pam love to role play. Exhibit A, look at Pam’s skirt and notice that it’s been sewn by the zipper because Drakey here has ripped it.” Pam tried to cover a smile which made her bestie giggle. Drake just started at her with his mouth open. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Drake. I think it’s sexy that you like Harry Potter as much as I do. I’ll show you exactly how sexy I think it is when we go home later,” Pam whispered in his ear making his face turn two more shades of red.

After dinner they went back to the royal quarters, and Pam sent the men and Alicia the website to get sorted into their houses. Alicia was the first to finish, “I’m a puffball. What’s a puffball?” The girls roared with laughter. “Hufflepuff, Alicia!” Anitah snickered. Drake and Liam were sorted into Gryffindor with Anitah and Genevieve. Rashad became a Ravenclaw along with Pam. Leo joined Alicia in Hufflepuff. The trip wasn’t scheduled for a few weeks so they decided that each weekend they would watch the movies together as a group.

The following Friday after everyone had gone home for the evening, Liam looked at Anitah, “I think the only thing that you love more than Harry Potter is the New York Yankees, love.” Anitah grinned, “Actually, I am pretty sure I love Harry Potter more, my king. I’d like to show you something.” She pulled Liam down an unused wing in the palace. “What’s all this?” Liam asked her. She giggled, “Since the rooms aren’t used down here, I took one to store some things…” She opened the door and Liam’s eyes widened in shock. He stared into the room that was laid out like the Gryffindor common room. He stepped inside and felt like he just walked into a Harry Potter retail store. There were mugs, cups, Legos, blankets, clothing, stuffed animals, action figures, and memorabilia displayed around the room. “Is that a replica broomstick, my love?” Liam pointed to the Firebolt that was hanging above the fireplace. “Actually, that’s the one they used in the movie,” she smiled at him. “I don’t know if I should be proud or scared,” Liam said with his mouth still hanging open. “Well, my king, since we’re the only two that know about this room maybe we should take advantage of the privacy.” Anitah closed the door and turned the lock with a click. She walked over to him, and pushed him down onto the sofa. “Proud, I’ll go with proud. Umm, where’s that skirt, love?” Liam said as he captured her mouth into a heated kiss.

Pam and Drake arrived home and walked in the front door. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a sweet kiss. “Now, I believe you promised that you’d show me how sexy it was that I’m such a big Harry Potter fan…” Pam smirked and took him by the arm, leading him into the bedroom. She pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. She ran her hands up his toned abs to his chiseled chest and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into passionate kiss. She started to unzip her skirt and Drake stopped her. “Leave the skirt on, baby. I’d like to rip it off of you again,” he growled, pulling her tight against his body and kissing her hard. He walked her over to the bed and laid her down, his hands roaming up her legs. “Drake…” she moaned as his hand disappeared up her skirt.

Leo and Alicia were laying in bed. “Babe, do we have to go? This trip is gonna be so lame.” Leo chuckled, “We can ditch them at the park. I'm sure there are plenty of places we can explore...clothing optional.” He pulled Alicia on top of him so she was straddling him. She could feel his hard length pressing against her wanting core. “I think you should get one of those skirts though...it might come in handy for when Bam Bam wants to come out and play.” Alicia smiled, “We haven't done the schoolgirl outfit yet. It would come in handy.” Leo pulled her down and captured her mouth in a hard kiss. “Now, are you ready for Bedrock, love?”

Rashad and Genevieve were getting ready for bed. She was standing in her closet, having just changed into her pajama shorts and tank top. Rashad came up behind her and kissed her neck. “Mmmm,” she moaned. “I have to admit, you looked sexy in that uniform,” Rashad continued to kiss down her neck. She laid her head back against his chest as his hands roamed her body. “Oh really? You should have seen me in high school. I was a Catholic school girl...with a very short skirt.” He growled in her ear, “Put that skirt back on...then meet me in your shoe closet.” He turned her to face him, “And, sweetheart? Wear those red peep toe Louboutins.” Genevieve felt a shiver go down her spine. All she could do was nod her head as she looked into Rashad’s lust blown eyes.

A couple of weeks later, the four couples boarded the royal jet for their trip. Anitah, Pam and Genevieve were giddy. Their husbands smiled at their excitement. Alicia sat with the three women, “I’m excited to get away. Don’t think you guys are going to make me change my mind about Harry Potter though. Not gonna happen.”

Anitah teased, “Don’t be so Sirius, Alicia. It’s going to be amazing!” This made Genevieve snort loudly. “Was that supposed to be a pun? Because I don’t get it…” Alicia said with an arched brow.

“Alicia, why don’t you ask Leo to show you his wand and you can show him your golden snitch,” Pam giggled while Alicia rolled her eyes.

Drake chuckled, “Don’t be such a muggle, Alicia!” The three women could no longer contain themselves and burst out laughing. Alicia stood up and sat down next to Leo, “We need new friends…”

Tag List: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @laniquelove-blog @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @rainbowsinthestorm @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @kennaxval @the-soot-sprite @hopefulmoonobject @emichelle @cgd03 @kate-mckenzie @mfackenthal @crookedslimecreatorpasta @jemrmax2love

#harry potter meets cgw #cordonians gone wild #cordoniansgonewild #cgw #liam x anitah #drake x pam #rashad x genevieve #leo x alicia #cgw squad #the royal romance #trr au #cgw au #cgw world #cgworld

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creekqueen27 · 5 years

Text

Fate (Raphael x Reader)

Requested: can you do one with Raphael, she gets kidnapped and they get Raph's dna and make her pregnant, he's actually happy about it cause he already loved her, how he acts around her being pregnant. Maybe some protective or possessive Raphael with some smutt?Thx!! <3

Gotcha boo thang 💋

Requests are open.

____________________

The bright lights made it hard for you to open your eyes. You tried to move your arms, only to realize you were restrained. Memories of what happened the night before come rushing back; the break in, the fighting, the capturing of yourself and the turtles. This really looks like the end. You turn your head and see what you assume is a doctor. You swallow thickly, trying to move your legs only to realize.. they're in stirrups?! "What the fuck.." you say, gaining the attention of the doctor. He looks up from the laptop and meets your eyes. "What are you doing to me?!?" You scream. He chuckles.

"Oh, you've been unconscious for the entire procedure, miss. You're an amazing surrogate. The healthiest eggs I've ever seen, really." Is that supposed to be a compliment? "I'm really excited for the outcome of the experiment. I'm sure you're concerned, but you shouldn't be. I'm very confident that it will be just a normal pregnancy, a normal delivery. Then, if we don't get the desired outcome, we can try again." The smile never leaves his face. Your stomach suddenly feels sick.

"Pregnancy?!" You shout. "I'm pregnant?! How?!" Your head is spinning.

"One of your eggs were fertilized with the DNA sample we acquired from your friend, Raphael. We believe the outcome should greatly benefit our company, the physical talents of you both combined-" You tuned him out, you felt like your heart stopped. You couldn't breathe. There goes your chance with him..

"I'm pregnant with Raph's baby.." you lay you're head back as you feel tears filling your eyes. Are we ever getting out of here? The thought ran through your mind for the next few days until finally, at dusk, you heard glass breaking and an alarm going off. As you heard people getting beat up closer to where you were being kept, you felt hopeful.

"She's in there!!" April's voice called out. She must have gotten help. You feel like you're going to cry when she busts through the door and starts undoing your wrists. You immediately hug her, tears escaping your eyes as you sob. "Are you okay?! What'd they do to you.." she trails off, glancing at the screens around you.

"Come on!" Leo screams as you see the turtles knocking people down left and right. You stand up, grabbing the folder next to the chair you were strapped to, and ran as fast as you could while holding April's hand. Casey was holding a door for everyone while he urged everyone to hurry. The fresh air hits your face as you all make it outside and run towards the "lady killer" as Mikey calls it. You hold tight to the folder as you hop in the back with April, Donatello in the passenger seat, Leo driving, Mikey, Raphael and Casey in the back pushing buttons to get defenses up again the enemy. Once you're all in the clear, you can't help but stare at Raph. April nudges you, leaning in.

"Are you okay?" She asks. You immediately feel tears falling down your face. "It's okay, you're okay. We're all here, you're okay." She soothes, Mikey coming closer and offering reassurance as well. You shake your head.

"I'm pregnant." You choke out as you hand the folder to April.

"Pregnant?!" Mikey screams and looks at your belly. He's pulled back by Raphael harshly, who has a pained look on his face.

"Raph.." April says lowly, looking between the two of you.. "he needs to read this.." she says, looking to you. You nod your head and lean against her after she hands the folder to Raph. You stare at him as he reads. He suddenly looks up at you. His eyes go to your belly. Back up to your eyes. He doesn't look disgusted?

"Are you hurting?" He asks. You shake your head. "Are you sure this is real?" He asks, leaning towards you a bit. You nod your head. "Yer pregnant.. with.." he whispers, looking at your belly. "Your baby." You finish for him, meeting eyes.

A few weeks later.. about 8 to be exact..

The lair was finally cleaned up and restored, which is good because the morning sickness hit you hard. You just lay and rested on the couch with a bucket, miserable. Mikey tried to cheer you up, but it didn't work. You just wanted this to be over. "Here, try this." You look up at Donnie offering you a small vile of liquid. You weakly grasp it, drinking it down. It only takes a few seconds to notice a great difference.

"Oh my God, Donnie.. thank you." You say quietly. You sit up, popping your back before standing and pulling down your pj shorts. Donnie gently leads you to the table where Mikey just sat down fresh pizza. As soon as you sit, you're pulled up again. You look up and meet eyes with Raphael, giving him a confused look. He places a pillow in your seat before sitting you back down. You can't help but smile. He's actually been really sweet towards you since..

"Yessss, gimme that sweet cheesey goodness!" Mikey says while digging in the pizza box. He passes the box around while Leo sits down, grabbing a slice. When you finish your second slice, you make a move to stand but Raph quickly puts his hand on your shoulder, holding you in place.

"Ya need'a eat more." He states, grabbing another slice and sitting it in front of you. You look from the slice, back up to him.

"I'm full." You simply say, earning a look from Raph.

"Baby aint." He says. You roll your eyes at him. "Just eat the damn pizza." He sighs. You also sigh, eating the slice. Maybe you weren't as full as you thought. "Don, you finish the thing so we can see the baby yet?" Raph asks, leaning back in his seat. The nerdy turtle swallows quickly, and smiles.

"In fact, I have. And I don't mean to brag, but I believe it's much more accurate than what you would get in a doctor's office." Donnie smiles. You're still getting prenatal care from an actual baby doctor, but extra care never hurts.

"Can I see the baby today?" You ask, getting nervous but excited as well. Donnie nods, mumbling an 'of course' as Mikey bounces in his seat.

"Dude, let me see the baby too!" Mikey shouts. You giggle at him.

"You can see, Mikey."

"After me." Raphael states harshly. You look up to him, raising a brow at his tone. He looks at you out of the corner of his eye. He chews his toothpick as he follows you to Donnie's lab, Mikey still sitting and finishing off the pizza with Leo. You lay on a long desk with a pillow behind your head as Donnie fools with the machine. Raphael towers over you, staring down at your belly before taking a seat, making him a bit above eye level with you. As the machine turns on, Donnie grabs a jelly like substance and raises your shirt. You don't miss Raph clenching his jaw.

"Okay, let's see.. female organs.." Donnie mumbles to himself as he rubs the jelly around your belly and presses a wand like thing to your lower belly. "AHA!" He shouts as an image pops up on the screen. Not entirely black and white. Not fuzzy, but clear.. "As if you're actually inside the womb, I knew it would be much more detailed." He says, proud of his invention. "Very strong heart rate. Seems developmentally on schedule. Aw, what a little shell." He coos, and you stare at the image. It really is Raph's baby.

"It's so small.." Raph says in awe, smiling at screen. Are his eyes watery?

"Actually, it's measurements are a bit bigger than most at this gestational age." Donnie says casually, getting different angles of the baby. "Most likely from the father." Donnie states playfully with a glance at Raph. You've never seen him smile so big before, immediately bringing a calming feeling over you as you smiled, too.

"Does it look healthy?" You asks, biting your lip. Donnie nods, double checking the heart rate.

Raph was always there when you got an ultrasound from Donnie. He always smiled looking at the baby on the screen. He was always helpful.. except for this exact moment. You're almost 5 months pregnant, finally have a noticeable bump.

"Move." You state, looking up at the red clad turtle blocking the door. He moved all your stuff, including yourself, into his bedroom weeks ago during the worst part of the morning sickness. He would always follow you to the bathroom, holding your hair for you. (He insists on sleeping on the mattress in the floor while you take his bed.) You've been procrastinating on getting stretchier pants for a week or so, and you were going to go out and buy some now but..

"Ya aint leaving. It's not safe for you, yer vulnerable." Raph states, not even moving an inch while you're pushing him as hard as you can. "Ain't gonna getcha anywhere, shorty." You sigh.

"Raph, I need more pants. These aren't really fitting anymore!" You pout up at him. "I have to go get some! And more socks.." you say quietly as you remember.

"Call April, I'll pay 'er back for em." His rough voice is low as he looks down at you. You pout again, earning a smirk and eye roll from him.

"I need to get them myself, I can't have you buying everything for me-"

"Sure ya can, shorty." Raph cuts you off, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"You could just dress up and go with me.." you quietly suggest as he leads you into his gym, remembering when he went out in daylight in a disguise.

"Ya can just call April and stay ya ass here and stay safe." The irritation is clear in his voice. "Get some light cardio goin'." Raphael starts with his weights as you use the treadmill lightly, trying to stay healthy during this whole thing. You give into Raphael's 'suggestion' and ask April to get you some comfy maternity pants and clothes. She really is your best friend, and has stayed so supportive. When she arrives the next day your new wardrobe (she really went all out), you were so excited. Your favorite was a dark red sweater.

After having girl time with April, and another ultrasound (which included Raph) because she hadn't seen the baby yet, you and her made a plan. "I hope they go for it." You say as you walk into the busy living area where all four turtles were playing video games.

"I swear to God yer fuckin cheatin!" Raph growls at Mikey as he cowers away from his older brother.

"Dude I'm not, you just suck!" Mikey says, running behind April and picking her up as a shield. Your giggle catches Raph's attention, but you don't see it.

"So guys! Why don't we go to the farmhouse for a few days? Give this girl some time outside." April suggests while giving you a side hug. Mikey immediately agrees, followed by Donnie. Leo is indifferent, really. He could take it or leave it. Raph seems unsure.

"Please?" You beg, walking to where he now sits at the kitchen table. You're barely above his eye level with him sitting and you standing by his side.

"Dunno if it's gonna be safe." He states, drinking his orange crush. You sigh, putting your arms around his large shoulders.

"Pleeeeeease? Everyone's gonna be there, it'll be safe." You beg. He grunts in response. You squeeze him a bit, whispering a quiet 'please' while leaning your head against his. You hear a 'come on, Raph' from Donnie. You nuzzle him lightly while Mikey tells him to 'dude, it'll be fine'. Even April throws in a 'itll be fun'. You give a final pout as he caves.

"If ya really wanna go.." he says lowly. You smile so big and kiss his cheek, thanking him before you rush to go pack. You completely miss the blush on his face, but everyone else sees it.

"You really love her, dontcha dude?" Mikey asks casually, softly. Raph grunts and nods. "You can totally tell her." He suggests.

"Look at me, Mikey. I'm a freak. She's beautiful. And she's stuck havin' my kid. She never wanted that.. ain't gonna make it worse for her." Raph sighs through his nose before going to the gym to work through his negative feelings.

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The

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