#I am greatly enjoying this show
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On Stolitz, Desire and Misunderstandings
I’ve thought about them so much for the past few days that I just have to put my thoughts somewhere. This might be far from structured/coherent but contains everything that has been running around in my brain lately. Feel free to interact with me about this because they’re driving me insane (in a positive way).
Quick disclaimer: I’ve watched everything in nearly one sitting a few days ago and am new to the fandom, so I might be unaware of commonly known info or things the creators have said or confirmed. If you come across any of my questions that have been answered already, please forgive me for not knowing and feel free to enlighten me! Let’s begin~
The main thing that got me thinking about this so much is Blitz’s line in ep 7 when he brings Stolas home after their failed date: “Don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear, all the time.”
But the thing is, he is wrong. We as the viewer know this, how Stolas chokes on his food when he sees that Blitzy calls, how he lunges to pick up the phone and how his eyes turn into little hearts when he hears the question. If anything, Stolas is smitten with Blitz.
He even calls Gabriella a “mood” when she asks Alejandro why he won’t love her. It’s indisputable that he’s thinking about Blitz here.
And how much he actually likes Blitz becomes even more clear to us at the start of season 2, when they’re kids. Stolas falls in love at first sight and blushes several times.
And then, 25 years later, he is delighted to meet Blitz again. After the initial (joking?) assumption that Blitz has come here to “ravish him”, he tries to make gentle conversation and asks him how he’s been. Blitz is the one who decides to initiate sexual relations—that is, he pretends to start it, and decides to keep it up when he hears Stolas chirp about how happy he is that it’s his “first ever friend” who wants to do him. But Stolas, before this, was surprised by Blitz’s advances and unsure how to react. Stolas, if anything, has to believe that Blitz is very sexually attracted to him.
That is why Blitz’s line in episode 7 fascinates me this much; one would think the reverse of what he says is true. Stolas has no reason whatsoever to believe that Blitz ever wanted more from him than sex/the grimoire, especially with how their relations began. So it strikes me that apparently, to Blitz, it hurts him to think that Stolas wants nothing else from him. He even begins to cry there in the van as he begins to reject the prince.
See the tears in his eyes? Why is that? Is he embarrassed? Angry? Does he feel guilty for putting Stolas in a “disgraceful” picture? Is he thinking about entirely different things that happened to him in the past?
And Stolas cries when Blitz is gone, because, well, he does think of Blitz as more than a sex friend. He was so excited to be asked out by him, he made himself look pretty, tried his best to make conversation with him, thought Blitz was actually taking him on their first date ever! He thought Blitz had called him out because he wanted to spend time with him, so he did his best to make the date a success, but all he received from Blitz was, well, nothing… He even tried to end the night on a more positive note by asking Blitz to come inside for something other than sex, perhaps to drink some wine and talk about what happened (or watch a movie, or cuddle 🥺). But when he hears that his sentiment of just wanting to spend time together has never come across—not now, not ever before—and Blitz actually believes Stolas just wants to frolic, that’s when Stolas leaves it for what it is and ends up crying.
(God I feel so bad for him, my heart)
And he spends a LONG time trying to show Blitz, via his texts, that sex is not the only thing that he’s after.
But he only gets one-word responses from Blitz. Nothing, literally nothing to keep going on. It’s no wonder he loses faith in that whatever they had could ever be anything more. And Blitz probably has commitment issues or is afraid of things not working out and he ends up keeping Stolas at a distance—until it’s too late.
And it just kills me that he does care about Stolas but somehow won’t admit it, won’t show it. And yet he sounds so hurt there in that van, when he accuses Stolas of merely wanting to be his sex friend. And he actually cries. For that reason, and for many other reasons not all clearly laid out for us.
Meanwhile Stolas has been crushing on him for 25 years. It’s only natural for him to propose the deal they made: he wants Blitz to be close to him (and he assumes Blitz enjoyed sex with him that first time, since he slept there for the entire night while at first only claiming he could do it “real fast”) and Blitz wants his grimoire. This is the perfect way for Stolas to get Blitz to be with him, because, frankly, he doesn’t have many other reasons to meet up with him. So they make this deal: Stolas gets to be together with him for once a month, and Blitz gets the grimoire. Perfect right?
Except when Stolas discovers that Blitz doesn’t even begin to know how much Stolas actually cares. That’s why he keeps sending those long texts, he tries so hard to let Blitz know they could be doing anything else and he’d love that too. That night after the date he already begins with those attempts, by telling him he enjoyed spending time with Blitz and suggesting things to do inside which Blitz misunderstands for him trying to get him into his bed.
But damn, if that was all Stolas was after, he wouldn’t get so depressed that he’d drink until passing out. He is heartbroken. And somehow, for some reason, so is Blitz. The first thing he does when he gets home is opening his phone to a selfie he took of them while Stolas was asleep.
And others have pointed this out as well, but Stolas doesn’t know about this picture and that Blitz smiled while he took it. On all the pictures Stolas has of Blitz, Blitz looks like he’s not enjoying himself at all.
So what must he think when he sends Blitz his reply that he could be in the hospital for a while in case he wants to visit, and Blitz doesn’t answer?
Well, that Blitz doesn’t want to come. That he doesn’t care enough.
Indeed, if there’s anyone who hasn’t been showing his true feelings or intentions, it’s Blitz. Stolas compliments him, calls him darling and “his” Blitzy, makes himself pretty for their date, and (for instance in ep 2 of season 2) blushes big time multiple times.
He’s had it bad for Blitz for ages, but he (correctly? incorrectly?) concludes that this is not mutual. And he has every reason to think so! Blitz treats their sexy adventures as a business transaction, is all serious and stoic to Stolas about it except for the rare occasion where he does show how much he likes it, like after Stolas rescues him from the demon hunters and he grins and seduces Stolas before kissing him.
But the times when Blitz talks about them to others? Those are moments Stolas doesn’t know about and doesn’t get to see, like when Blitz talks to Striker and stutters like mad trying to explain what they are and aren’t. He never outright says that they’re not dating. He doesn’t even deny Millie’s words when she says they’re boyfriends.
(M&M totally know I’m wheezing)
It just drives me insane how Blitz isn’t honest with his feelings, especially towards Stolas. He probably chooses to believe that Stolas only wants to have sex with him, because that’s more convenient and safer for him, and enables him to keep Stolas at a distance.
Perhaps that is why he never properly responds to Stolas’s texts, never jumps to the opportunity to agree to Stolas’s indirectly asked questions or suggestions. Getting closer might be a bad idea somehow—but after those texts he has to understand what the prince’s intentions are, right? They just don’t talk about it at all; we also aren’t told whether they still do it or not, or just exchange the book like Stolas’s texts suggest. This is striking compared to season 1, where we got scenes of them in bed or talking about their next meet up.
It isn’t until Stolas’s life is in actual danger when Blitz begins to realise how much he cares.
“He can get hurt?” His eyes are trembling with disbelief. After that he finally sends Stolas a text first, and then begins typing again, and stops. I imagine he started typing a yes, but stops himself for some reason. I really hope they’ll show us what Blitz was thinking in that moment. Why would he not go to see Stolas? Because he feels guilty? Because he’s afraid he’ll start caring even more when he sees him wounded in that bed?
But again, for Stolas this just means that he doesn’t care, and the poor owl curls up and turns away from his phone.
#stolitz#helluva boss#my brain is doing things#also if I'm posing any questions I should've already known the answer to please be gentle with me#stolas#stolas goetia#blitzo#stolas x blitzo#helluva boss meta#stolitz meta#I am greatly enjoying this show#not planning to interact with criticism#click on the pics for better quality etc etc#ngl their kissing scene was my fave moment lol... they looked so happy together#can't wait for the next ep uuuuuuugh sobbing
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Obsessed with the old Jewish man in ep 6 forget fucking Dream this is my fave
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NEW STARKID MUSICAL??? 👀👀👀🥰🥰🥰🥰
#BRYCE LEAD????#FANTASY SEEMING???#I AM!!#LIKE TORI VEGA ON THE SLAP.COM#FELLING: EXCITED 🤪#BRYCE CHARLES#A WIN FOR GAYS#AND BY THE GAYS IM TALKING ABOUT ME I LOVE THAT WOMAN#team Starkid#new Starkid#(but i do hope it’s got some queer content included but that always my gay little asses hope and Starkid tends to pull thru)#Starkid#the real team Starkid#NEW STARKID PROJECT#MORE NEWS ABOUT IT COMING ON APRIL 6TH PER THE INSTAGRAM#‘There’s a castle on a hill- as the story goes…’#is all we got so far#and color my interest Peaked#i wonder who’s writing the music because i think that will greatly influence my true ability to enjoy no matter what the plot :/#(is this also a controversial sk take? cause oh boy i do have thoughts about each shows soundtrack and who wrote the lyrics 🫣)#(by also i mean in addition to the one i made a few posts down my feed about my Grace chastity hc’s)
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⛪️
#church delights from today#I said wow out loud like 7 times just driving there because the trees and bushes are so resplendently beautiful this week#sermon was really good (on Philip’s ‘show us the Father’)#also the pastor referenced That Hideous Strength so well in the sermon??#in a sudden silence the pastor’s little son in the row in front of me cronched loudly on a communion cup#also one of the songs I realized I was singing the tenor part and my friend next to me (guy) was on the alto line#not unusual for him but for some reason it just amused me greatly#and then lunch was great afterwards and I had some really fun conversations:)#oh and! I’m building closer relationships with the youth group kids and am really enjoying that
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Book Lucy really just digs into George for no reason huh "his face was uniquely slappable" ma'am what did he ever DO to you "he had a particular trick of staring at me in a blank, expressionless sort of way..." Yes he's autistic he's zoning out queen leave my boy alone 😭
#lockwood and co#i started the books#they are very good i am greatly enjoying the writing#and also shoutout to the show for being SO accurate so far#its wild#wren rambles#favourite line so far is: Lockwood ignited his smile#cos thats EXACTLY how he does it
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So today is messy story-telling Saturday. I wish I had known that before I spent *checks watch* most of the day watching and trying to process nonsense.
#ok so this is meant jokingly#I am not tagging the shows because I'm not trying to make anyone who had fun not have fun#but woof#I want to sit down and write my own version of two stories that I had greatly enjoyed at some point#and I just don't have the time for that *cries*
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i am passing a law that says authors are not allowed to use the phrase “masculine satisfaction” in their work. or masculine anything. same goes for feminine anything. satisfaction cannot be masculine. it cannot be feminine. neither can joy, or anger, or thirst. you cannot gender emotions!! it doesn’t happen!!! it is physically! not! possible!!!!
#the goddamn sarah j maas effect Jesus fucking Christ#and this book was so good too#hopefully this is the only time that shows up#that fact ive even had to make this edit in my clients’ work is just—#this isn’t a work book but a for fun book#that I am still greatly enjoying#but i actually groaned out loud upon reading that
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okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds
#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys#im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF)#+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as:#I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone#but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring)#but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying.#right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch)#(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation)#but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner??#it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!!#in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes#but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek..#the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad...#follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical#(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.)#god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog#lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc#go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them??#and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum#SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY
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imagine roxas sora and ventus all being roommates. the shenanigans they'd get up to.......... riku goes to sora's apt one day and is like 'why are they here' and he's just like "??? they live here??????'
do you think they'd count as other people. or would only ventus and sora count. bc roxas is just sora.
sora forgot to put roxas down on the lease and so hes gaslighting the landlord into thinking roxas and ven are the same person
#also ofc ven and roxas count as their own people#thats literally the whole point of roxas' character#i am not going to disrespect my beloved by saying hes not his own person#when that is his core struggle#anyways i think this is a fun idea#but im too much of a sucker for sea salt family stuff for me to really think roxas would be roomies with sora and ven#i think the dynamic would be funny though!!#we got ray of sunshine; clinical depression; and The Horrors#with guest appearances from least straight straight man#brought back my sora and roxas watch mlp headcanon#its one of soras favorite shows#roxas' favorite character is starlight btw#he liked her before her redemption#hes pretending to like the show ironically but he greatly enjoys it#also ven is the worst kind of person (a morning person)#i think ventus wakes up early makes a healthy breakfast and goes for a morning jog#like a monster#(i love him)#soras just trying to keep shit together#and by that i mean keep roxas from killing riku every time he shows up#the cereal brand is a reference to the kh2 manga btw#where axel gets roxas food to try and cheer him up and the brand is heart moon#still not sure exactly what food it was#doodles#shitpost#roxas#sora#ventus#riku
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if i had a nickel for every time the older half of my ship from a 49 episode anime that came out in 1994 died like this, id have two nickels. which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice!
#ive been greatly enjoying my rayearth rewatch#this show is like. my fucking childhood#and i am still loving it just as much as i did way back when#magic knight rayearth#g gundam
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its so funny to me that the ofmd fandom is incapable of being in a poll without causing SOME kind of drama
#to be clear i have never seen the show and i never want to. but its funny to me.#first the pirate on pirate drama. now this. im cackling#winter speaks#i am overwhelmingly neutral on the show itself but the fandom...y'all insane fr#(derogatory but in the manner of greatly enjoying the drama from a distance)
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I really want to watch the Netflix documentary about the kids that got stuck in that cave in Thailand but I’m so claustrophobic 😭
#it’s triggering my fight or flight instincts and I’m just watching the show#i love caves but i could never go spelunking#the geologist in me wants to so bad#but I’m so claustrophobic I would pass out instantly if it got tight#i have the feeling of being trapped and that’s just. this whole situation#might have to take this in chunks#i am however greatly enjoying hearing how Thai is spoken outside of dramas#I’m constantly surprised how much I’ve picked up
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also update on the sound of magic. not all of the musical numbers are even close to as good as the opening number. it sucks a little bit but the rest of it makes up for that i think
#it kinda feels like. they gave up halfway thru on the music and choreo and stuff#but also the first song was just???? so spectacular that its hard to keep that quality consistent probably#like it set the standards HIGH#but its such a faithful adaptation and the casting is perfect#and everything overall is genuinely amazing so. im really not complaining#i am very happy and enjoying it GREATLY#i just. as a musical theatre stan first and foremost. wish all of the music and dancing etc was as perfect as the opening is#i also really liked il deung’s path number but i dont think it portrayed what that scene is about as well as it couldve#like u dont see any of the intense pressure his parents are putting on him to be first in his class#so it makes a few things feel less plausible#and the musical number. while really good. has less impact overall#cause the message kinda loses the nuances of his situation#which is understandable since the show is so hard focused on ah-yi#but also i think they couldve given more screentime to il deung and explaining his family and stuff#cause it is important it makes a lot of the story more understandable when u see that side of it#it just feels so watered down idkidk#REGARDLESS i am enjoying the adaptation greatly and i am more than thrilled by the mere FACT that its a musical so#again overall its great and i love it
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love watching “evil sociological experiment” shows like the wilds bc the science is always so deeply crap
like ma’am. lady. miss doctor. your study has 0 external validity and its internal validity is second only to the stanford goddamn prison experiment
#literally cannot WAIT to find out what the FUCK this woman thinks a ‘perfect control group’ is#the wilds#this isn’t hate for the show btw i am enjoying it greatly#it’s just. after being wrapped up in IRB reviews and all that shit myself#it’s so funny to critique the ‘science’ in these types of shows
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watching hacks atm and in season 2 theres an episode where the main character thought she was being booked for a cruise with gay men as her audience but it ended up being lesbians and i completely forgot how much mainstream media hates lesbians. like it was kind of crazy. also they do not know what a lesbian looks or acts like
#its a very good show though dont let this post deter you#i can criticise media that i greatly enjoy#but i was watching it w/ my little sister (lesbian- out. unlike me. im closet case everything and intend to stay that way)#and we were both saying how fucking weird it was#there was 1 butch woman and she heckled meanly. which. love a woman who is mean but still. the ONE butch#kms#yes i am watching a lot of tv shows right now why do u ask#the list is hacks. breaking bad. stranger things (rewatch for my sister who doesnt remember it). sharp objects and random episodes of like#community or its always sunny in philly or w/e
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finally started watching the artful dodger. and guys i am freaking out
#i knew it was good but i am somehow still surprised#the filming style is brilliant#also to that one post who said it had no australian actors in the lead cast despite being filmed and set in sydney#you lied#there are so many amazing aussie actors#maia mitchell and thomas brodie-sangsta in a movie together is something i didn’t know i needed but am enjoying GREATLY#ALSO THE COSTUME DESIGN#the styles seem fairly period accurate to me#though i somehow know more about british historical fashion than australian#but it all looks amazing#the costume and set designer is certainly going on my list of favourites#eva if you’re reading this and haven’t yet seen this show please watch it#i think you would love it
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