#I already feel like killing myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mysafehaneul · 7 months

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Chapter 8 Part 3

The door swung open dramatically, revealing Jungkook's entry. Following behind him, Deokyeom strolled into your office.

"How's my favorite sister-in-law in the whole world doing?"

You rose from your chair, and a surprised smile graced your face as you went to greet Jungkook. A warm embrace conveyed your delight at his unexpected visit. Meanwhile, Deokyeom, ever the gentleman, waited near the door for your approval.

You gently patted Jungkook's back, signaling the end of your embrace.

"I'm good, Jungkook. What brings you here?" You turned to acknowledge Deokyeom, who remained poised near the door. "Mr. Lee, please, come in."

Mr. Lee responded with a respectful bow and extended his warm greetings.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice." you offered. "Why, Noona, aren't you happy to see me here?" Jungkook playfully pouted, and before you could respond, Deokyeom intervened, gently pulling Jungkook to his side. He looked apologetically at you and explained, "I'm sorry, Ms. L/N. I'm aware I was instructed to come alone due to the confidentiality of the matter. However, Mr. Jungkook and I have a meeting with another client afterward, so when I was coming here alone..." Deokyeom's words trailed off, and he added a hint of exaggeration to the word "alone" while shooting a quick glare at Jungkook, who wore the expression of a kicked puppy," Mr. Jungkook insisted that his presence would be beneficial."

You observed them both quizzically, especially Jungkook, who continued to look at you with puppy-dog eyes.

"I see," you said, gesturing towards the single unoccupied chair next to Rema at the desk. "Mr. Lee, why don't you settle down? And, you remember Rema, right? She's my lawyer. As you mentioned, this is a matter of confidentiality, and I'd prefer to keep it that way."

"Noona, I thought we became close after that game," Jungkook exclaimed, referencing the truth and dare game. "Why did you want to meet Hyung's lawyer?" He took a step back, a slack-jawed expression taking over his features. He then loudly whispered, "You're... you're going to divorce Hyung already."

"Jungkook, how could you possibly-" you began.

He dramatically grasped your hand and continued, "Noona, I'm sure my Hyung has faults, and he can act like he has a stick up his ass sometimes," you unknowingly nodded in agreement before realizing and chiding yourself. Jungkook carried on, "But he has a heart of gold, and I'm sure he loves you. I've seen it in his ey-"

"Jungkook! Jungkook," you shook your clasped hand to end his rant.

"No one's divorcing anyone, okay? I've just called Mr. Lee to discuss something about our joint project since your Hyung is in Malaysia," you lied. "So calm down."

You gave him a knowing nod and leaned into mumble, "I know you're not here to see me," giving him a coy smile as a slight blush started to paint his face. He let go of your hand, and you moved back to your desk as Deokyeom settled down. You rang Rachel, who appeared as she entered, and both you and Rema noticed the dumbfounded look on the boy's features.

"Rach, send in some coffee for Ms. Sinha and Mr. Lee, and tea for me," you said, your tone a blend of professional politeness and a subtle plea for assistance. You accompanied your request with an eye smile, a secret signal between you and Rachel that clearly conveyed, 'Please escort Mr. Jungkook elsewhere. I can't have him hanging around during this discussion.'

Rachel nodded and turned her attention to Jungkook, who had been eagerly waiting for his cue.

"Mr. Jungkook," she began, keeping her tone neutral despite the annoyance she felt underneath.

"Yes, Rach," Jungkook responded with an air of exaggerated sweetness that only served to irritate Rachel further.

Nonetheless, Rachel was a seasoned professional. She knew how to maintain her composure even when dealing with individuals who are prone to tripping over air.

Gesturing gracefully toward the door, she suggested, "After you."

With an agility that contradicted his previous antics, Jungkook promptly stepped up beside the door where Rachel had positioned herself.

"Although I'm disappointed that I can't contribute to this undoubtedly significant meeting," he began, his tone more earnest now, "I'll certainly abide by your wishes, Noona. After all, 'the client is god,' as they say." He offered an exaggerated salute, and added "And Noona, I'm rooting for both of you. Fighting!" with a raised fist, then exited the room.

Rachel raised an eyebrow and slowly shook her head at you, a clear indication of her disbelief at the situation she had just been placed in. Your silent response was an apologetic look, acknowledging that you were well aware of the awkwardness of the encounter.

As Jungkook left, you redirected your attention to face an overly amused Rema and a somewhat embarrassed Deokyeom, who was taken aback by his junior's antics. You let out a breath, feeling relieved.

"Cute kid," Rema mumbled with a chuckle after Jungkook had exited and the door was securely shut.

Deokyeom leaned back in his chair, still somewhat embarrassed. "If one could call a 26-year-old a kid."

"I mean, it must be fun to have him around in the office," Rema suggested. "I'm sure our lives can get pretty monotonous."

Deokyeom looked back at the door, which was now closed. "Yeah, you can say that," he replied affectionately, a touch of nostalgia in his voice.

You leaned forward, interlacing your fingers on the desk, and cleared your throat. "Shall we begin?"

Rema and Deokyeom, both seasoned professionals, quickly donned their professional masks, their expressions shifting to a more serious demeanor as they shifted their focus back to the purpose of the meeting.

...

Racheal was diligently checking her computer screen, going over the agenda that had been covered for the day, and preparing for the next contact with one of the new suppliers. As she typed away, a voice interrupted her.

"I think I've seen you somewhere," the voice said.

She looked up from her computer to see the young man, Jungkook, sitting in the chair next to her desk, a playful grin on his face. He rested his head in his hand and leaned against the desk.

"I'm sure it was from your cousin's wedding—"

"No, you're the girl who's been haunting my dreams," he interrupted with a cheeky smile.

The line sent a shiver down Racheal's arms, and her face twisted in disgust. "Do you use that line often?"

He chuckled. "Not really, no."

"Good," she replied dryly. "It would be quite pitiful if it did work."

Jungkook's smile faded slightly. "I have other lines as well."

"No, thank you," she said dismissively, returning her attention to her computer.

Several minutes passed in silence, with Racheal engrossed in her work and Jungkook idly playing with a paperweight on her desk. Then, he spoke up again.

"Tell me, Rach."

"It's Ms. LEE for you."

"Really?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "So tell me, Rach, do you like friends?"

Racheal's fingers paused over the keyboard when she heard that question, and she slowly raised her eyes to meet his, a vacant look on her face.

"I guess your mum did," he continued casually and went back to toying with the paperweight.

"What's your type?" Jungkook asked with a smirk.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose, exasperation evident in her voice. "Guys who don't trip over air and don't try to sleep with every woman they meet."

"Oh, someone has done her research," Jungkook said, leaning back in his chair with a smug smile.

"No," she replied, unfazed. "It didn't require much research, just observations from our two brief meetings."

He nodded and, not even four beats of silence later, he opened his mouth again.

"So, Rach, do you believe in past lives?"

Rachel groaned internally. "Oh lord, have mercy," she thought. "How long will this meeting go on?" She leaned back and glanced at the office door. "Please, boss, before I end up killing this man-child."

....

30 minutes later...

Rema glanced at Deokyeom, then at you, and said, "I suppose that covers everything."

"Ms. Y/N," Deokyeom began, his tone inquisitive, "I understand you're a very meticulous businesswoman, but may I inquire why you're creating a will without Mr. Jeon's knowledge?"

You looked over at him, your lips forming a tight smile. He nodded in understanding.

"Well," he continued, "I respect your decision, but I don't believe Mr. Jeon will take kindly to this when he finds out."

You rose from your chair, noticing Rema's habit of biting her lip when she had something to say but held it back.

"That's alright. I'll talk to Wonwoo about it myself. I hope you respect my decision and keep this information confidential."

Deokyeom's expression darkened, and he replied, "I'm afraid I can't promise that. Since Mr. Jeon is my client, if he inquires about it, I'll have no choice but to inform him."

You nodded in understanding, realizing that you'd have to speak to Wonwoo about this matter yourself to prevent any misunderstandings.

...

"Have you told him about the threats yet?" Rema whispered harshly as soon as you closed the door behind you, having seen Jungkook and Deokyeom off.

"I haven't had the chance," you replied, walking over to the couch. The clock neared 1 pm, and the golden sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow in the room, as the city traffic seemed to slow down.

Rema pressed further, her concern evident in her voice, "What's holding you back from telling him? This is a serious matter."

"Rema, I understand that withholding this information puts the people around me at risk, but what can I tell a person who's away from home dealing with—"

"At least inform the police," she interrupted, raising her voice.

You both stopped talking when you noticed Racheal standing in the doorway, observing your slightly agitated faces. "Uh... This came in the morning," she said, holding a bouquet of hyacinth floral arrangement.

"If you'd like, I can come back later," she began, slowly backing away.

You closed your eyes, attempting to calm your breathing. "No, it's alright, Rach. Do you know who sent this?"

"I'm not sure. It was on my desk when I returned from the washroom."

Rema walked over to the desk where Racheal had placed the bouquet. "Well, there's a card."

You got up from the couch, walked over to them, and took the card that Rema extended toward you. "I think it must be from your admirer," Rema teased. You rolled your eyes, flipping the card to read it.

The words were written in cursive, and you smiled as you read the first line. But as you continued reading, your face gradually paled. It was as if you'd seen a ghost, and you staggered back, the card slipping from your fingers.

Concern etched all over Rema's face as she bent down to pick up the fallen card, recognizing the fear that had washed over her.

This reminded me of you.

They say that this flower symbolizes profound sorrow, it was born out of the blood of Hyakinthos who died in an accident when Apollo and Zephyr were fighting over him.

I am sure you won't want the faith of Hyakinthos, over whose love is greater than the other.

P.S. I'll make sure your casket is surrounded by these, for I have great confidence a lot of people would feel profound sorrow upon your loss.

"Y/n," Rema said, her voice tinged with worry and pain, "these threats are not hoaxes."

....

You sit in your office, your mind in a daze after the events of the day. The clock on the wall reads 5 PM. Suddenly, there's a soft knock at your door. You look up to see Racheal standing there, concern in her eyes.

"It's time to go home," she says softly. "Shall I accompany you?"

You take a moment to collect your thoughts before responding, "No, it's okay. I came with the driver. I'll be fine. Thank you, Racheal."

She respects your decision and nods. Together, you leave the office.

Dinner was a bit of a blur as well. Noel and Jeonghan carried on most of the conversation. Jeonghan was leaving tomorrow night with his mother, who he came to pick up since she was afraid of flying alone. When Noel asked if he could go too, you hesitated at first, citing his school commitments. He pouted, and you saw his disappointment. After a moment of contemplation, you thought it might be safer for him to go, especially since you hoped to have resolved the threat hanging over your head by then. You agreed, but with one condition - if Noel ate all his carrots, he could go. He eagerly munched them down, sealing the deal.

Jeonghan reassured you that Leila, Noel's former nanny will also be there. You nodded and insisted that they could use your private jet, to which he responded with a wistful smile, "Ah, the perks of having rich friends."

After dinner, you and Jeonghan began clearing the table. He had been sensing that something was off since you returned home.

"Are you worried about what I said this morning?" he asked gently. "Don't stress over it. Let things work out at their own pace. It's not like you can control it."

You managed a small smile, appreciating his understanding. He nudged your hips and added, "And if it makes you feel better, I left a wedding gift for you in your bedroom," he winked.

....

When Wonwoo arrived, it was around 11 p.m. The lights in the house were mostly off, but he noticed a soft glow coming from your room. He went to his room, took a quick shower, and changed into more comfortable attire. As he towel-dried his hair, he couldn't help but wonder if you were upset with him.

Although he thought you might already be asleep, he decided to check on you. Is she mad at me? He couldn't shake off the nagging feeling.

Your bedroom door was slightly ajar, and as he approached, he could see you standing in front of the mirror. Your hair was gathered in a bun, and you were wearing a stunning deep green dress with a v-neckline, a low plunging back, and a front slit that reached the top of your left thigh. The rose lace details on the dress added to its allure, making you look so breathtakingly beautiful that even the goddess of beauty would be envious.

He found himself temporarily mesmerized by the sight, unsure whether to interrupt your preparations or simply admire your captivating presence from the doorway.

He pushed the door open gently absently caressing the fabric of your night dress near your stomach. Your eyes were distant, lost in thoughts. Wonwoo stepped closer, concerned.

"You're still awake," he whispered softly. However, you remained oblivious, lost in your contemplation.

He furrowed his brows, pondering what could be bothering you. He reached out and lightly rested his hand on your shoulder.

Your reaction was swift and startling. You jumped and let out a startled scream. "AHH!!" Wonwoo instinctively covered your mouth with his hand, his heart racing as your panic reverberated through the room. Wide-eyed, he gazed at you in shock, realizing that his presence had caused you distress.

"It's me, it's me," he quickly reassured you, his warm eyes meeting yours. Gradually, your fear began to ebb as you recognized him. "It's just me. Calm down, or you'll wake up the whole House," he whispered, his voice soothing as he removed his hand from your mouth.

You swallowed, your heart still pounding, and closed your eyes, attempting to regain your composure. "Why did you sneak up on me?" your voice quivered slightly, the shock still apparent. You instinctively placed your hand over your racing heart. "I didn't sneak up on you. When I called your name, you were lost in your own world," Wonwoo responded gently. He reached up to lightly flick your forehead and offered you a warm, reassuring smile, which made your furrowed brows slowly relax.

"When did you arrive?" you asked, looking at him inquisitively.

"An hour ago," he replied, his eyes wandering around your room. He couldn't help but notice the gift bag and a Victoria's Secret box on your bed. "Hmm, it looks like someone went shopping," he commented.

You glanced in the direction he was looking and chuckled. "Oh no," you shook your head, "JJ brought this as a gift."

"What was he doing at Victoria's Secret?" Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued.

You gave him an enigmatic smile. "Trust me, Wonwoo, you'd rather not know," you teased, your eyes sparkling.

You turned to face the mirror, running your hand over the soft material of the nightdress. "I like it. It's very pretty," you said, admiring the garment.

Wonwoo stepped up behind you, his hands gently resting on your waist. Your eyes met in the mirror as he kissed the back of your neck, his lips brushing your skin. "I think it's you wearing it that makes it prettier," he murmured against your neck, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine.

"Load of shit," you responded with a smoky voice, your stomach fluttering with his nearness.

"You wound me, Mrs. Jeon," Wonwoo retorted playfully.

"I never anticipated you to be so easily woundable, Mr. Jeon," you quipped, tugging at his still half-dried hair. He hissed as your nails gently scraped his scalp.

His kisses began to trace a path down your neck, eliciting soft, breathy moans from you.

"Wonwoo," you breathed out.

"Yes, baby girl," he whispered, his voice husky and filled with desire.

But when you didn't respond to his advances, he grew concerned. He gently grabbed your shoulders and made you face him, brushing the hair that had escaped your bun behind your ears. "What's wrong?" he asked, gazing into your eyes, searching for any signs of distress or discomfort.

So many thoughts were jumbling in your head, from the conversation with Jeonghan to the threatening message, the unexpected flowers, and the unsettling meeting with the lawyer. As you tried to figure out how to begin, your eyes stared blankly at the carpet beneath your feet. You felt Wonwoo slightly grab your chin, guiding your gaze to his. "Y/n," he said softly, his thumb gently tracing your lips, "don't overthink it. Just say what's on your mind."

Taking a deep breath, you looked into his warm, reassuring eyes. You decided to confess what had been weighing on your heart. "I kinda missed you," you admitted, your voice carrying a hint of vulnerability.

Wonwoo released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and let out a nervous laugh. "You got me worried there for a second," he said, pulling you into a tight hug and gently patting the back of your head. "I kinda missed you too."

As you stood in his embrace, you felt his heartbeat against your palm, a steady and comforting rhythm. You thought about how you wished you could find the right words to express the complex emotions swirling within you. It was challenging to make others understand what was happening inside of you when you couldn't fully explain it to yourself. The words you were accustomed to swallowing had somehow devoured you, leaving you with a maelstrom of feelings that couldn't be easily articulated.

You moved from his warm hug, eyes locking onto his as you asked, "Did you have dinner?"

He nodded in response, and you inquired further, "And how was Malaysia?"

"Humid," he replied, his brow furrowing as he recalled the trip. You arched an eyebrow, prompting him to continue, "Now that I think about it, I feel like I skipped dessert on my flight."

Playfully, you pushed his chest, creating some space between the two of you. Moving the bags and boxes on the bed, you teased, "God, you're so corny," and rolled your eyes at his dessert remark.

But before you could step away, he swiftly sat down on the bed, pulled you gently between his legs, and gazed up at you. "What can be done?" he pondered, his voice softened. "You chose this corny," he added, a mischievous glint in his eye, before slowly pulling you in for a kiss.

The room was dimly lit by a golden night lamp, casting a warm, soft glow on the lovers. A gift box was thrown haphazardly across the room, the light bouncing off its surface. The mirror on the wall reflected the image of the two of you, lost in each other, and the kiss. Outside, the moon gleamed brightly, casting its silvery light through the fluttering white curtains. The room felt like a sanctuary, where time seemed to stand still as you shared this tender moment.

...

You lay on his chest, the rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into a peaceful half-sleep. But his voice, distant and contemplative, brought you back to the present.

He stared at the ceiling, holding you in his embrace while his mind drifted back to when he was just sixteen.

He began, "You know when I was sixteen, it was my first summer back from London, after getting my driver's license. Mingyu, my best friend, His father used to work for my grandpa, my childhood friend, accompanied me. I was ecstatic about my new car, that Dad brought for me, and it happened to be a full moon night. Both of us shared a profound fascination with astronomy."

Wonwoo chuckled as he continued, "To be honest, I was more excited about taking my new car for a spin. Mingyu took me to this observatory spot he'd found, along with his telescope and everything. It rained earlier that day, and it made the skies even clearer. You won't believe it, Y/N, but when I peered through that telescope, that's when I truly understood why people write poetic praises to the moon."

His voice quivered with emotions as he shared, "Mingyu told me he wanted to earn enough to build a house there, right by the observatory, and after his time was over, it would become an observatory for everyone to enjoy. I remember telling him he didn't have to wait. I promised to buy that land, build a hotel there, and gift that spot to him for the observatory. But Mingyu shook his head, saying that the feeling of earning something couldn't compare to having it handed over."

Wonwoo's voice grew heavy as he recounted the tragic night. "The roads were slippery, and I was getting drowsy. Mingyu insisted on driving, but as we navigated the dark roads, he missed the animal crossing sign. A forest deer suddenly appeared in front of our car, and in an attempt to avoid it, Mingyu made a split-second turn. But with the roads being so slick, our car flipped over."

He paused, the pain of the memory still fresh. "The shards of glass from the window pierced Mingyu's stomach. Even breathing was difficult for him. But he was still alive, and before he took his last breath, he said, 'Thank you for bringing me to see the moon tonight. I'm glad I got to see it before I died.' I kept pleading with him to hold on, talking about the observatory, but he just smiled and closed his eyes."

"Oh, Wonu," you consoled him, cradling his head on your chest as he clung to you. "If only I hadn't taken that car..."

He continued, "If only I had driven that car, he wouldn't have died, Y/N. He had so much potential in school; he was always at the top of his class."

You gently ran your fingers through his hair, and his shoulders shook as he relived the painful memory.

"It's okay, it's okay," you reassured him. "Cry it out. It must have been hurting you for a long time. It's okay."

He sobbed, his face buried in the crook of your neck. After a few minutes, his sobs began to subside, and you continued speaking softly.

"You were just sixteen. There was nothing you could do," you told him. "I'm sure Mingyu was grateful that you survived. Maybe deep down, he knew that if your roles were reversed, he wouldn't have been able to bear your loss."

"How can you say that?" Wonwoo inquired, his voice filled with uncertainty.

You gently cupped his face, wiping away his tears, and said, "I can say that because I know in my heart that when you love someone, Truly love someone, all you want is for them to be happy, even if it means you aren't a part of their life anymore."

"So forgive yourself," you urged, your eyes gleaming with tears and empathy. "You were just a kid, only sixteen, and I'm sure that wherever Mingyu is now, he's looking down at you with a smile, grateful that you're healthy and living well."

He paused and gazed at you, his eyes filled with emotion. "Do you want to know where that accident site is?"

You nodded, your expression a mix of curiosity and trepidation. He moistened his lips and exhaled. "Burbone Road."

Your face fell, and you began shaking your head. "No," you whispered, your voice laden with sorrow. "Wonwoo..."

As you looked more and more crestfallen, your words spilled out. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. That time in the office, and then in the Jeon mansion, I called you greedy, shallow, selfish, and whatnot. Please forgive me, Wonwoo. If I had known earlier, I would've..."

"It's okay, Y/N," he consoled you with a sad smile. "You didn't know. Sometimes our experiences can outweigh our perceptions about someone. But I'm glad you know now. I don't even know why I wanted to bare my soul to you. I've never even talked about this so openly with Eleanor-"

He stopped mid-sentence, a hint of guilt in his eyes. "I shouldn't have mentioned her. I'm sorry."

You shook your head. "Why would you say that? Eleanor was a significant part of your life. I know the way it ended was unfortunate, but that doesn't mean everything was ruined. Sometimes memories are good, and some are bad, but that doesn't mean they aren't worth remembering and mentioning. It's up to us how we view them."

He chuckled, shaking his head. You raised an eyebrow, asking, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," he said as he gently brought your hands, which were on his cheeks, and kissed your right palm. "I'm the older one, but it's always you saying the wiser things."

You rolled your eyes and remarked matter-of-factly, "If only people knew that wisdom has nothing to do with age."

"Yes, grandma," he teased, and you playfully punched his shoulder.

"I think we should sleep now."

"What time is it?"

"Oh my goodness, it's 2:00 a.m."

You lay back down on your pillow, and Wonwoo wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you against his chest. You listened to the rhythmic beat of his heart and felt his fingers caressing your head and playing with your hair.

"Y/N," he spoke softly.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for listening to me. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest."

You turned onto your stomach and interlaced your fingers, resting your chin on his chest.

"I'm glad that whatever the reason, it led me to you and even Noel," he said as you gazed into his eyes. Wonwoo leaned in to plant a kiss on top of your head.

At that moment, with his warm presence embracing you, the circuits of your brain seemed to go haywire. Thoughts and memories flooded in.

Part 4

#Aquamarine chapter 8 #I already feel like killing myself

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wibblewomble · 1 year

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Ranking Ajins by Death Toll

Oh but count them I did.

Have you ever wanted a comprehensive list of Ajin deaths? Well, here is one anyways!

The list is based on manga events as I actually haven't seen the anime 😬

The ranking only includes Ajins (AKA revivable characters) because otherwise the list would be…even longer than it is and 90% of it would be no-name characters. They also MUST make an appearance (so ruling out mentioned Ajins, like the Chinese Ajin with 2,000+ deaths).

Without further ado, AJIN CHARACTERS RANKED FROM MOST TO LEAST DEATHS!

...under the cut (I’m sorry, it is very long)...

🚨CW for Ajin typical shenanigans (death, mutilation, suicide, the like)🚨

Ranking by onscreen/shown deaths

Satou (44 deaths)

Kei Nagai (35 deaths)

Kou Nakano (15 deaths)

Koji Tanaka (9 deaths) TIE

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths) TIE

Takahashi (6 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (4 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (1 death) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (1 death) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (1 death) TIE

Ranking by estimations

Koji Tanaka (5,892 deaths)

Satou (692 deaths)

Kei Nagai (347 deaths)

Kou Nakano (215 deaths)

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths)

Takahashi (7 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (5 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)TIE

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (2 deaths) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death)

Everyone gets +1 to account for their first death in the estimation rankings (except Satou, Kei, Kou, Izumi, Shinya, and Ms. Tachibana because their first deaths were shown and already counted in the initial ranking)

Ajin’s with too little information to estimate (at least one death)

Takeshi Kotobuki

Jun Suzuki

Dr. Smith

Jim

Satou detractor (with the glasses)

Satou collaborator (with the glasses)

✨Honorable mention✨

Kai (by technicality)

Let’s go into some more detail about each death and estimation calculations.

Deaths are listed chronologically by manga appearance. “S” means it was self-inflicted with intention. They have to be the ones to cause the fatal blow (aside from one exception, being Izumi throwing herself in front of a car). Assisted suicide, like Tanaka stabbing Satou as a demonstration, does not count as self-inflicted.

Koji Tanaka

Gunshot to head (chpt 1)

Crushed by hydraulic press (chpt 2)

Stabbed with rods (chpt 3)

Neurological experiments (assumed) (chpt 3)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 3)

Collision trauma (used as a crash test dummy) (chpt 14)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 37)

Assumed reset (shoulder wound from Satou is gone) (chpt 43) S

+1 for first death (implied in chpt 13).

+1 assumed reset after being accidentally shot by Satou in chapter 41. His shoulder wound is gone and he (or the rest of the gang for that matter) probably wouldn’t wait for it to heal.

+1 assumed reset at some point after chapter 56. His leg wound—where he got stabbed by the minister's goons—disappears. Could have been forgotten about, could be he’s still walking around with it, but I think they would want to be in top shape when fighting Satou, so I’m counting it as a reset.

+5,880 for deaths while in captivity. Some were already included, but it pales in comparison to the total count. Tanaka was probably subject to experiments everyday. Let’s assume 3 deaths per hour (accounting for setup time and various death methods), 8 hours in a working day, and 245 working days in a year (Japanese work duration from Google). Which means in 10 years that’s 5,880 deaths. This is a very VERY general approximation, not taking into account probable overtime, lengthier experiments resulting in slower deaths, or extremely fast causes of death like getting shot. Regardless, with 10 years of captivity, Tanaka’s death toll is certainly the highest.

Tanaka’s total estimated deaths: 9 + 5,883 = 5,892

1 suicide, 2 estimated suicides

Satou

Stabbed by Tanaka (chpt 6)

Gunshot to head (chpt 9) S

Shot multiple times by Kei (chpt 10)

Stabbed and tossed around by Kei's IBM (chpt 11)

Shot by Tanaka (accidentally) (chpt 15)

Plane crash (chpt 19) S

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 21) S

Diced by wood-chipper (chpt 35) S

Caught in explosion (chpt 36) S

Gunshot to head (chpt38) S

Gunshot to head by Kuroki (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head by Kuroki and Suzumura (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head (chpt 38) S

Gunshot to head (chpt 40) S

Impaled by own IBM (chpt 40) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm) (chpt 42) S

Jumped off Forge Safety building (chpt 42) S

Gunshot to head by gang members (chpt 47) FIRST DEATH

Decapitation by Takahashi's IBM (chpt 52)

Gunshot to head (assumed) (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (chpt 54)

Gunshot to head (chpt 54) S

Blown up by C4 (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (after intended suicide detonation) (chpt 55)

Gunshot to head (chpt 57) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 60) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 61) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 62) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest (chpt 71) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm, assumed) (chpt 71) S

Head trauma/snapped neck from falling from heli after being shot by Manabe (chpt 76)

+40 for deaths from organ harvesting. Satou trades 10 livers, 10 kidneys, and 10 hearts for guns in chapter 8 so that’s at least 10 deaths. I don't think he would ask Tanaka to help given him being freshly released from lab experiments. Nekozawa calls him “a valued client”, it’s implied he’s done this before. Satou needed guns to save Tanaka, but aside from that we don’t know how many times he’s done this. Let’s just add another 30 deaths on top of the 10.

+540 for deaths from repeat killings by SAT. I imagine the SAT encounter until Satou’s recovery was quite fast and lasted at most 5 minutes. Killing Satou at a rate of 2 shots per second means 600 deaths in 5 minutes. Let’s subtract 60 (half a minute of deaths) to account for moments when SAT was distracted by Takahashi’s sniping.

+15 for deaths from fighting with SAT offscreen. Satou is a power house. He takes out at least 5 people for every death of his own. Slapping on an estimated extra 15 deaths from this fight since he was still tuckered out by the end.

+3 for deaths from fighting gang members (chapter 47). Though unarmed against a group of 100+ men, Satou would probably make quick work of these guys since they seem mostly untrained. Slapping on an estimated extra 3 deaths.

+50 for deaths from fighting Iruma Air Base soldiers (chapter 55-57). I’ve had enough of this dude. Let’s just add 50 more for his fight against the army base soldiers since they are highly trained, killing him without restraint, and there are a lot of them. Satou is also visibly weary by the end of it.

Satou total estimated deaths: 44 + 648 = 693

22 suicides, at least 40 estimated suicides

Kei Nagai

Hit by a truck (severed in half yikes) (chpt 1)

Strangled (chpt 2)

Slit throat (chpt 3) S

Bike crash (chpt 6) S

Stab to chest (after torture and dismemberment) (chpt 7)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 8)

Drowned (chpt 12)

Stabbed in the throat (chpt 17) S

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 22)

Assumed reset (head wound from car crash is gone) (chpt 22) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence, yeah buckos i'm counting these) (chpt 31)

Assumed reset (hand wound is gone) (chpt 33) S

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Gunshot to head by Kou (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head (chpt 39) S

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 40)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 41)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa/Kou (after severing both arms) (chpt 42)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 42)

Fell off Forge Safety building (after being shot) (chpt 43)

Hypoxia (chpt 49) FIRST DEATH

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (assumed, to heal fingers) (chpt 57) S

Gunshot to head (after poped eardrums) (chpt 60) S

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 61)

Plane crash and explosion caused by Satou (chpt 70)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 72)

Impaled by own hostile IBM (chpt 72)

Gunshot to head (chpt 77) S

Gunshot to head (missing an arm and impaled on a rod) (chpt 78) S

HIT BY A TRUCK LMAO DUMBASS (chpt 83)

+240 for deaths while in captivity. Using the same metrics as Tanaka, in 10 days Kei died 240 times. Again, this is a very general approximation.

+72 for drowning deaths while adrift for a week (chapter 14). The stages of drowning take between 10-12 minutes. But let's be generous and say Kei either lucked out with calmer waters or manages to stay afloat for longer. So he drowns at a rate of 1 death per hour. Let’s also say Kei was confused and his estimation of being adrift for a week was off (downing consecutively will do that to a man), and he was only in the water for 3 days. I also don’t think he would be floating around for a week, especially if he didn’t make it out of Tokyo Bay.

Kei total estimated deaths: 35 + 312 = 347

15 suicides

Kou Nakano

Jumped out a window (chpt 15) S

Electrocution (chpt 16) S

Bled out (after falling from aparment building, stabbed in the stomach, run over by Tosaki) (chpt 16) S...ish...I’m counting as 0.5

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 16)

Jumped off a cliff (chpt 17) S

Assumed reset (leg wounds from Kei are gone) (chpt 17)

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 25)

Hanging (chpt 26) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Kei (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Kei/Hirasawa (assumed) (chpt 41)

Fell off Forge Safety building (semi-accidental) (chpt 42) S, another 0.5

Head trauma (could also be eventual starvation/dehydration) (chpt 43) FIRST DEATH

+200 for deaths from hanging. We are doing a lot of assuming, so let’s continue that trend. Let’s say Kou would only hang himself for 5 hours a day after training and before bed. Let’s also say they had approximately two weeks of training. To account for extra training, rest time, and Kou generally not feeling up for dying on repeat, we’ll assume out of the two weeks, Kou only used 10 days. Where am I getting these numbers? My gut tells me so (source: trust me bro).

Short drop hanging takes 10-20 minutes for complete brain death. Let's take the middle road and say 15 minutes. So on average, 4 deaths per hour. 4 x 5 x 10 = 200 deaths.

Kou total estimated deaths: 15 + 200 = 215

5 suicides, 200 estimated suicides

Kou and Satou were really hard to estimate for, but we powered through lads.

Izumi Shimomura

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 4)

Head trauma (chpt 27)

Untreated illness/STD (chpt 27) FIRST DEATH

Fell off a building with Satou's IBM (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Bled out (after losing an arm fighting Tanaka) (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Tosaki (assumed) (chpt 41)

Hit by car (chpt 56) S

Shot in the throat (chpt 56)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 78)

I’m assuming Izumi didn’t die after Tosaki hired her since she wasn’t being researched nor was it likely she needed to die for Tosaki as a bodyguard.

Izumi total estimated deaths: 9

1 suicide

Takahashi

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 66)

Takahashi total estimated deaths: 6 + 1 = 7

Masumi Okuyama

Carbon dioxide poisoning (chpt 32) S

Electrocution (chpt 32) S

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Improvised explosive device (chpt 58) S

Okuyama total estimated deaths: 4 + 1 = 5

3 suicides

Shinya Nakamura

Motorcycle crash (accidental beheading) (chpt 9.5) FIRST DEATH

Gunshot to head (chpt 9.5)

Shinya total estimated deaths: 2

Reiji Akiyama

Bled out (after being harpooned and fighting Tanaka's IBM) (chpt 15)

Akiyama total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag)

Bled out (shot in spleen by Tanaka) (chpt 15)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs)

Sliced in half after pushed off building by Izumi (chpt 63)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Himeko Tachibana

Satou's plane crash (chpt 65) FIRST DEATH

Total estimated deaths: 1

Kai

Gunshot through throat by Satou (chpt 72)

Total estimated deaths: 1

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