kanhu: i'm going as you for Halloween

arjuna: awww 🥰🥰 hssdkdjsjs wth i don't deserve this stawp-

kanhu: *comes out in a clown costume*

Murderville Starters !

Taken from season one of the 2022 Netflix series, Murderville! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers! 

“I just made that rhyme up. No big deal, I do all sorts of cool stuff.”

“I never like to assume how close I can get.”

“Did I just turn seven years old? Because you just hired a goddamn clown!”

“Well, listen, none of that matters now. No one cares.”

“I can get these lips as dirty as you want them to be.”

“I’m reviewing the facts of what I’ve been told so far.”

“The body is right there. And you’re being a clown. Take it easy.”

“Then they went into that black void known as death. Where there is no return. They’re gone. Probably forever.”

“And then he said, “I can’t talk right now, (Name). I’m with my wife and kids. And you know we have boundaries.” Now I have no choice but to go over to his house and make a scene in front of his entire family.”

“A young woman was murdered against her will today!”

“They beat me. They beat me for 40 minutes then went out to get ice cream. They came back and continued to beat me.”

“Let’s get the hell out of- Wow. Look at all these snacks. Let’s grab some stuff, come on.”

“Well, death comes for us all.”

“That’s what this is. Holding the dead close and whispering, “I will avenge you.””

“They always make that face. That’s just their face.”

“I look like a guy that’s been given three days to live, and this is day five.”

“She was a mean old woman, write that down. Everybody hated her.”

“Well, guess what? Doomsday was here. And it’s me and (Name).”

“Wait a minute. You can’t- You can’t just start your own country.”

“You can’t sue someone and claim that it’s your property just because I built it on your property!”

“Hey, look, I don’t trust people who don’t do shots. Want one?”

“I will tell you, I did something that I normally don’t do: put all my eggs in one basket and I got that motherfucker.”

“I can’t show my face there. People expected big things of me, (Name). What am I going to tell them?”

“I want you to end up unhappy and alone, just like me.”

“We need to be sure, and that is why I need you to take a psychopath test.”

“What is the thing that feels you with the most shame that you can barely look at yourself in the mirror?”

“In what sense are you lovers?”

“It was good to see all the vaguely familiar faces of people I’d forgotten ever existed.”

“Because weekends are kinda like short summers.”

“My dreams of playing professional football in Canada were over before they began.”

“It was hilarious and also really sad.”

“We were gonna tell you we just wanted to see if this was real first.”

“That’s right. He got disposable income, and he’s spending it on you.”

“This is what you’re dealing with. Good luck, and I apologize in advance.”

“I wish I could say that I had the same confidence that I wouldn’t betray you. To be honest, I’m very erratic.”

“I think you just stand there and do whatever it is you do.”

“It’s making me sleepy, and I feel like I’m going to cry.”

“I’m really sorry, (Name). You trusted me and now you’re going to die because of it. And I can’t help but feel that I’m a little bit responsible for that.”

“What kind of kindergarten teacher would need that? The murdering kind.”

“So what we’ll do is we’ll tell each other our most embarrassing secrets. And then there’s no way that we will become physically attracted to each other and ultimately fall in love which neither of us wants.”

“This bag is stickier than my last divorce.”

“There’s something so cool about being able to turn a little dial and turning this guy’s brain into applesauce.”

“Now I realize the best way to honor your memory is to finally let you go. Goodbye, (Name).”

“Preparation is for losers. Dumb luck is where it’s at.”

“Why were you just hugging (Name)? Did you plant drugs on him?”

“What does all-nude sundaes mean?”

“If you become friends with them, I will burn down your house.”

“I felt like you were so close to saying that you were going balls deep.”

“I’ve extorted, I’ve murdered. One time, I terrorized an entire community into just abandoning their homes. They just fled in the night!”

“I don’t know what happened, but time got away from me, and I did not do it.”

“Oh. That would be great. That sounds very healthy. I appreciate it.”

Kiss or Slap part 2

part 1

Robbe stands in front of the mirror, eyes critical as he assesses the forest green shirt, plucking at the collar that’s digging uncomfortably into his neck. It’s not like the shirt is ugly; the problem is that it’s not and that it looks a bit too formal. But then again, Robbe wouldn’t know for sure since he’s never been on a real date before. He’s feeling a bit helpless in that area, to be honest.

He has a half a mind to text the boys and ask for advice, but just as the thought passes his brain he scoffs because it’s just silly; the only thing he would gain from doing that would be merciless teasing for weeks on end. Thanks, but no thanks.

Sighing, he glances in the direction of the hall, debating with himself whether asking for Zoe’s opinion is the right option here, but deep down he knows that otherwise, he’s gonna be standing i front of that mirror agonizing over his appearance for the next twenty minutes if someone doesn’t talk some sense into him.

The way Zoe’s eyes widen in surprise when he enters her room lets him know that yes, he is overdressed. 

“Too much?” He scrunches up his face, feeling a bit self-conscious.

“Well, I mean... you look really nice, but, um, maybe go for a t-shirt instead?” Zoe suggests, looking almost apologetic. Robbe hovers in the threshold, still not totally convinced.

“Yeah?” 

“You clearly feel uncomfortable in that, plus he’s not taking you to an expensive restaurant or something so I think you should just go for chill,” she pauses, trying to remember something. “That pink t-shirt you have? You look really cute in it! You should wear that.”

“I don’t wanna look cute, Zoe, I wanna look hot,” Robbe blurts out, pink blooming on his cheeks when Zoe coos at him in that annoying way she always does and he immediately covers his face. “Stop.”

She giggles at his embarrassment, patting his arm consolingly as she pretends to give him a once over. “You do look hot, no matter what shirt you’re wearing.”

“Yuck, that sounds weird coming from you.” Robbe fake-gags and gets a smack on his chest. “I’m outta here, thanks.” Before he manages to close the door, Zoe catches his arm and shoots him a comforting smile.

“And calm down. He’s already into you, he won’t care what you’re wearing, Robbe.”

It’s easier said than done. Ever since he woke up, he’s been a giddy, anxious, yet excited mess, butterflies flying rampant in his stomach, fingers drumming absent-mindedly on the nearest surface, and he’s-

Well.

He’s been kinda freaking out.

Somehow (he has no idea how), he managed to keep his cool during that faithful afternoon a week ago when a boy came up to him with a dumb YouTube challenge, he’d even call himself flirty and bold. 

He’s not so sure he’ll be able to provide a repeat performance tonight. Not with that particular charming smile directed at him, almost making him whimper because no one should have the right to be that handsome. At the time, the infatuation was laced with disappointment and anger so Robbe guesses that’s what helped him keep his cool.

Only to melt into a pile of goo minutes later when Sander’s cheeks flushed red in embarrassment over what popped on his phone screen.

Bambie eyes

Robbe smiles at the memory, trying to keep it small and not look like a psychopath that’s grinning to himself for no reason. It proves to be difficult though, those damn butterflies not easing out when an image of Sander combing his fingers through his longish bleached strands pops into his mind, uninvited, but oh so welcome if Robbe’s being honest.

Back in his bedroom, he fishes out the pink t-shirt from the drawer, sending a thank you to the past Robbe who finally did his laundry last Wednesday. His comfort level is up immediately after he takes the green shirt off and pulls the pink one over his head; the material doesn’t dig in anywhere, and it’s just... him. He doesn’t feel like a clown anymore. 

A quick look at his watch and he curses under his breath. If he doesn’t want to be late, he needs to leave in five minutes tops. It’s probably better this way since it means less time for freaking out. Once he sprays a bit of cologne on his clothes and grabs his wallet, he gives himself one last look in the mirror, fingers attempting to tame his curls at least a little, but it proves to be a lost cause. As usual. His hair just has a mind of its own. He doesn’t let himself obsess too much about it though, and as he closes the door behind the flatshare his mind wanders to two weekends ago, the corners of his lips twitching on their own.

  “You look like an angel with those curls. I should get you a halo or s’mthing.”

He’s in his personal space all of a sudden and as Sander’s breath grazes his face, Robbe’s own breath stutters, but the freakout has no time to breakthrough on his features because Sander’s eyes swivel up, glazed with alcohol as he tugs gently at one of the brown strands.

“I really like ‘em, you know? They’re so... silky. And pretty.” A lightbulb goes on in his head, his lips widening in a smile. “You’re so pretty.”

 Drunken confessions never really seemed particularly sweet to him, but with Sander gazing at him like he hung the moon and the stars, his jaw slightly open as if in wonder, it was difficult for Robbe to feel anything else than fondness, heart fluttering in his chest, so enamoured with the boy with white hair that it would have blushed if it could.

That white hair and green eyes have been the main stars of his dreams ever since.

Okay. That’s not entirely true. There were glimpses before that. After all, Sander had been the first thing he noticed at the Academie. But at the time, he had only been his looks to Robbe, golden skin and intriguing smirks, face scattered with moles and legs for days. 

And lips. Lips that looked soft like a rose petal.

He had dreamed about those lips a lot then.

He still can’t believe his brain holds the memory of kissing them with his own. 

Again. Peak boldness for him.

And yet, he’s so nervous now, walking fast-paced to the nearest tram stop, praying his chaotic energy won’t make him look like an idiot once he’s faced with Sander again. His only saving grace, the only reason the full on freakout seems to be kept at bay is the reminder that even though Sander is way out of his league, he’s also a bit of a dork, and that honestly makes Robbe feel better. 

He’s a hot dork though.

But a dork nonetheless.

Deep down Robbe hopes he’s gonna become his dork. 

The city passes behind the window in a whirlwind of colors, creating the perfect background for him to get lost in his thoughts, daydreaming to the sounds of the playlist crafted specifically for him, courtesy of Sander. As Bowie sings about absolute beginners, a notification ping pulls him back from his musings, lips smiling on their own when he sees Sander posted a photo.

And what a photo it is, fuck.

A part of his face, edges smudged with shadows leaving only his eye in focus, dark eyebrow curtained a little with wet bleached strands, everything in black and white aesthetics because Sander rarely does colors, Robbe came to find out. 

  With eyes completely open

But nervous all the same

 He wonders if the lyrics relate to their date or it’s just his wishful thinking.

Quick fingers like the photo and then take a screenshot of his own Spotify to send it to him. Robbe doesn’t have to wait long for the reply, a string of “🤯” blowing up his phone followed by “I’m so proud 🤧”, which again confirms that Sander is, indeed, a dork. 

Robbe shoots him a “😂” and scrolls up a bit to check the address again.

 Robbe: I watched the video

Robbe: It was cool 😎 

Sander: Oh yeah? 

Robbe: But somebody cut me out of it 🤔🙄 

Sander: I told them to, it was too personal 😌 

Robbe: Oh 🙃 

Sander: + You're too pretty for our dumb videos 🤷🏼‍♂️ 

Robbe: 🙈 stop 

Sander: You are 🤷🏼‍♂️

Robbe: You're making me blush 🙊 

Sander: Well good, you're cute when your cheeks are all pink 😏 

Robbe: 🤪 

Sander: But you're always cute so 🤷🏼‍♂️

Robbe: Okay stop haha 

Sander: 😎 

Robbe: Thank you tho 😊 

Sander: You're welcome x

Sander: Now go to sleep, I need you to be rested for tomorrow! 

Robbe: Tell me where we're going 🥺 

Sander: Nope 

Robbe: Please 🥺 

Sander: Nope 😌 

Robbe: How should I know you're not gonna kidnap me or sth 🤔 

Sander: Robin! I would never! 😟😟 

Robbe: Robin? 

Sander: Yeah

Sander: You like it? :) 

Robbe: I think so :)

Sander: Good 😌

Sander: Oranje Street, that's all you need to know 

Sander: Goodnight Bambi Robin 🦌😏 

Robbe: Shdjskahaggfdsk 🙈🙈 

Sander: Hehe

Sander: 😚 

Robbe: 😊

 The Robin part pulls another involuntary grin out of him again, the jitters in his stomach intensifying, but now they’re more anticipatory than nervous. He checks his hair in his selfie camera, running a hand through it to mess it up a little just when his stop comes. 

The neighborhood is busy with the Friday rush and he has trouble finding white hair in the crowd from where he’s leaning on the lantern. Swaying awkwardly he keeps looking around, feeling his stress levels raising with each second and telling himself to get a fucking grip. 

“Hey, Robin.”

His poor heart just can’t catch a break today. 

Jumping a foot above the ground before swiveling around to smack Sander’s chest, the first thing he sees is his toothy grin, face smug at almost giving Robbe a heart attack.

“Asshole.” His grumble is all for show, the corners of his mouth pulling up when Sander presses a soft hello kiss to his cheek.

“Sorry, didn’t wanna scare you.” He could win awards for least sincere apologies ever, but Robbe would lie to himself if he said he didn’t find his playfulness attractive. Also, he’s still trying to get his heartbeat under control that has less to do with actual scare and more with the warm breath grazing his ear and the fanthom feel of lips on his cheek.

“Sure you didn’t.”

Sander chuckles at his deadpan face that lets him know Robbe knows he’s full of shit. Raising his arms in capitulation, he says another sorry before giving him a not so subtle once over, his features softening.

“You look really pretty.” 

His voice sounds uncharacteristically shy, Robbe notices, and he keeps biting his lip nervously. This sudden shyness looks exceptionally endearing on him.

Eyeing his t-shirt critically, he cocks his brow at Sander, hand scratching his head in a self-conscious move. “Thank you. It’s nothing special though.”

“Then I guess it’s just you,” Sander replies, shrugging matter-of-factly, and keeps giving him that charming smile that weakens Robbe’s knees. 

But he still rolls his eyes on him, snorting as he mutters “smooth” to which Sander pretends to hold his chest dramatically, swearing it’s not a line and that he’s being honest.

“Okay, okay, let’s say I believe you,” Robbe gives in after being defeated with a strong case of puppy eyes. “Now come on, tell me where we’re going.”

The faux-serious expression on Sander’s face melts into a full of promise smirk. “Prepare to be mind blown!”

And then he takes off, firing a wink over his shoulder at Robbe who’s gaping at him, flabbergasted. This mixture of confidence and shyness taking turns emanating from Sander has a peculiar effect on him, making him follow the boy without another question. He’s intrigued, curious to find out what’s underneath this cockiness that Robbe has a feeling is all for show, a cover up, but for what he has no clue. 

They fall into an easy conversation on the way to their destination, interrupted with a string of Robbe’s guesses as to what that destination is and Sander shooting him down everytime, his smile getting fonder with each pout directed at him. So far it’s been way less awkward than Robbe feared, familiar almost, safe, melting away the anxious lump in his stomach. The good-natured teasing reminding Robbe of his relationship with Zoe or Milan, only the furtive yet lingering glances they keep shooting at each other when they think the other is not looking the sign of this being more than just a friendly hangout.

“Any plans for the Eenvoud sequel?” They’re crossing the street when Sander asks the question, tongue in cheek, which makes Robbe scowl in disdain. Even though internally he’s pleased Sander went and looked him up online. He was less pleased with the teasing that ensued a few days ago.

  Sander: I had no idea 

Robbe: ? 

Sander: That I'm going on a date with a star 

Robbe: 😂 what 

Sander: Music star 😏

Sander: Or should I say

Sander: Dance star 🤔 

Robbe: Oh fuck 

Sander: You're v e r y talented Robbe IJzermans 

Robbe: Shut uuuuuup 

Sander: 😂 

Robbe: You weren't supposed to see that 😭 

Sander: Why not? You're so cute in it 😌 

Robbe: 🙈

Robbe: Please don't hold it against me 

Sander: Never :) 

Robbe: You're gonna hold it against me aren’t u 

Sander: A bit :D 

Robbe: 🥺 

Sander: But in a loving way! 

Robbe: Guess I have to now go and find blackmail material on your channel 😌 

Sander: As if you hadn't already 😏 

Omg you're so full of yourself 🙄 

Sander: 😛 

Robbe: Should I be expecting hoards of fans throwing themselves at you when we're out? 

Sander: Haha no

Sander: Maybe a few ;) 

Robbe: Great, now I'm even more nervous :( 

Sander: Why are you nervous? 🥺

Sander: Are you nervous about our date?  

Robbe: Well um 

Robbe: A bit? 

Sander: I'm nervous too

Sander: But that's because I wanted to go out with you since I saw you on campus the first day

Robbe: I wanted that too

Sander: Oh 😌

Robbe: Yeah :)

 “Fuck off,” he barks out a laugh, shoving him without much force once they’re back on the sidewalk. Sander pretends to be offended with the attack, huffing and shaking his head, but then bumps him with his hip all the same, smug when Robbe splutters in indignance in turn.

“Keep this up and I’m gonna rethink my forgiveness.” Robbe’s tone is lofty, even if his eyes scream he’s just teasing, an attempt to rile Sander up. 

The boy’s eyes widen comically, hand flying to his chest. “You wouldn’t do that to me, Robin.” 

There’s that nickname again, making his breath catch again, and the only response he can manage now is a flirty smile, or at least something that is supposed to look like it. 

The afternoon heat subsides on their way to Sander’s mysterious place, but Robbe’s still glad he left that green long-sleeved shirt at home when they slow down and Sander turns to him with an expectant look.

“Carnival?”

“I didn’t remember you giving me your number, but I did remember your preaching about cotton candy being the superior junk food,” Sander rushes with an explanation like he feels his choice needs a proper justification. “And it just so happened that a carnival came to Antwerp this weekend. I thought it was a sign?” He scratches his nose, his stance a little unsure as he awaits Robbe’s reaction.

His eyes grow bigger with each passing second until Robbe beams at him and tells him how much he likes the idea. Sander lets out a loud phew, face relieved when they enter the area. The place is packed, but that’s okay because Robbe loves the vibe and how close Sander keeps walking next to him because of it. The loud music is not the best for talking, but they soon find other things to do, marching from booth to booth, getting drinks and trying out silly games, the teasing competitiveness quickly coming out. Sander really wants to win a plushie for him, but he fails spectacularly, his sulking remedied only by a kiss on his cheek. 

Robbe eats his weight in cotton candy, childlike joy on his face while Sander watches amused and keeps calling him cute. The Ferris Wheel was supposed to be their next stop, but when it turns out it's out of service, Sander shoots him a desperate look, apologizing for this lame outcome like it's his fault. But Robbe is having so much fun he barely cares they lost their chance at a kiss on the top, knows the night's still young and they'll get their chance somewhere else.

They try out a few other things, laughing and having a great time together before Sander gets weirdly quiet.

"Do you, um, do you think we can go sit down for a bit? To talk?" Sander keeps avoiding his eyes as he asks, but Robbe doesn't miss the flicker of vulnerability in his face, and he feels his heart jump in his chest. He's a bit taken aback at this gear change, but Sander's clearly bothered with something and he wants to be there for him so he just hums and follows him to the bench outside.

"There's something you need to know."

Robbe steals himself for the worst, muscles tensing as he holds his breath.

“I’m bipolar,” Sander finally blurts out, and Robbe’s heart breaks for the insecurity in his eyes, eyes that are now darting all over his own face, trying to be furtive, yet clearly assessing his reaction. “I just-, I want to be straight with you from the get go cause I feel like this may be going somewhere and I don’t want to lie, or, omit anything.” He pauses, frowning a little as he looks down, and something awfully similar to a broken heart shadows his features. “I don’t ever want to keep it a secret anymore.”

Robbe doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue, but Sander misinterprets the silence.

“It’s, um, it’s okay if you don’t wanna get involved with me now or something, I get it, I’m a lot to handle.” Scratching his head awkwardly, his lips morph into a wistful smile, and Robbe knows he needs to put a stop to these thoughts.

“Hey,” he starts softly, waiting until Sander’s ready to direct his eyes back on him. When he does, he shoots a smile at him of his own, but there’s nothing wistful about it. If it matches what he feels, Robbe’s quite sure it’s close to adoration, actually. “Thank you for telling me.” Sander takes a deep breath, sitting straight as if he’s preparing for a rejection. “My mom has schizophrenia, you know?”

Green eyes blink up at him. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Robbe lets his smile widen. “And she’s an amazing mom. She just-, struggles sometimes, and there are days that are really shit days. But I can’t imagine her not being here. Because she’s amazing. And I love her. With or without a mental illness.” He presses his thigh against Sander’s, trying to ease his nervousness as he continues. “I still want to give us a shot. Cause, um, I think that, um, well, you’re really hot, I mean cool, I meant cool, well...” Why does he have to be so awkward? He peaks at Sander after his unfortunate little slip and feels his cheeks flush under his small grin. 

“You think I’m hot?”

Robbe whines in protest because now Sander’s just being a little shit, torturing him even though he knows exactly what his stammering means. 

He hides his face in his hands. “Obviously, since I’m on a date with you, smartass.” 

“It’s always nice to hear.” Sander nudges their shoulders and it makes Robbe look up, just in time for a wink. “Especially from a cutie like you.” He holds his gaze, a small smile playing on his lips, and as Robbe gets drowned in his green eyes, distracted, Sander lifts his hand to push a few locks away from his forehead. The brief contact of his fingertips with Robbe’s skin is enough to raise goosebumps on his skin, and he really hopes Sander didn’t notice, that he doesn’t know how gone he is for him already.

He already mourns the lack of contact when Sander pulls away, something akin to shyness on his face now as he’s fiddling with his fingers, and it’s comforting to see he’s not the only one around here being affected.

It’s what gives him the guts to do what he does next, without second-guessing himself again into a spiral. He gets up off the bench and takes Sander’s hand in his own, their fingers tangling right away like it’s their second nature, and nods in the direction of the sidewalk.

“Come on, I’ll show you my favorite spot around here.”

The initial surprise at Robbe’s bold move is quickly replaced with a beaming smile as Sander squeezes his hand gently and gets up too, laughing when Robbe bumps their shoulders teasingly because hey, he’s still a teenage boy and sometimes likes to act like it. Also, he needs to do something to distract himself from the fact that he’s holding Sander’s hand. The fact he can feel a thumb softly grazing his knuckles, almost absent-mindedly, does not help. He'd think their playfulness and cheek kisses would make it all easier for him, and yet here he is.

He’s feeling carefree and drunk on his feelings and this evening and Sander’s smile and when they get close to the spot, Robbe sets his hand free and jogs over to the small ice cream booth, turning around to do a small “taa-daa!” with a big grin. Sander’s laugh at his shenanigans is music to his ears and he loves how the previous frown is now officially gone from his face, features softening instead, eyes twinkling as he calls Robbe a dork, entwining their hands anew the second he’s in his close proximity. Robbe scoots even closer, like an invisible magnet is pulling them together, getting lost in his presence, the smell of his aftershave that carries notes of citrus and something woodsy, masculine, combined with the intoxicating scent of Sander’s leather jacket. The air changes around them, gets charged with tension, Sander’s face changes too, green eyes darting to Robbe’s lips that get dry under attention, and he licks them subconsciously. Just when Tiana Major9’s voice coming from the booth speaker sings when they collide, it’s a beautiful disaster, their faces tilt towards each other, Sander’s hand reaching up as if to cup Robbe’s cheek.

Robbe barely contains his whine when a loud crash from the booth ruins the moment, catching the same frustration on Sander’s face in the corner of his eye. The loaded silence is buzzing in his ears, nerves picking up and he feels awkward again, not sure whether he should just go for it or wait for a better moment. 

Sander’s chuckle brings him back from his overthinking, smiles crookedly down at him. “Come on, you gotta tell me your favorite flavor.”

His tone is light like the almost-kiss didn’t happen, but the subtle pink at the high of his cheeks gives him away. It looks like the world’s most exquisite blush, blended perfectly with the shade of his skin that has already been painted light golden with the early summer sun rays. It distracts him for a moment, his gaze stuck as his eyes wander slowly from one mole to another, lingering on his lips that are just as inviting as they were a few seconds ago, tempting Robbe to make that move, but then he feels Sander taking his hand again, this time interlacing their fingers and pulling him out of his trance.

Robbe is a vanilla guy and he can see the joke at the hip of Sander’s tongue, but thankfully, the boy refrains from the comment, the huge eyeroll he receives probably stopping him in his tracks, and he only gnaws on his lip, trying to keep the laughter in. He goes for mango, which yuck. Sander doesn’t appreciate his reaction, and they easily slip in the previous banter, ending with him smearing a bit of the ice cream on Robbe’s cheek, lips sucked in as he giggles quietly at his scandalized face.

“You’re such a fucker!” He immediately gets him back for that and they’re close to full on ice cream fight until Sander yells truce, hands protecting his face from the onslaught of Robbe’s sticky hands. Robbe smiles triumphantly at his capitulation, and goes back to licking away at what’s left of his treat.

“It kinda fits you.”

They’ve been strolling along the river for a while now, the full moon shining its light on the side of Sander’s face, making his hair look icy white.

“What?

“The mango flavor.”

Sander furrows his brows in question, waiting for an explanation. Robbe shrugs a little, eyes tracing the soft ripples on the water as he tries to find the right words.

“Mangos have a hard peel, but have a soft inside.”

“Sooo, you’re saying I’m… mushy?” Sander wrinkles his nose at his words and it’s a truly adorable sight.

“No, I’m saying you can seem, um, intimidating and unapproachable, unattainable.” His eyebrows furrow more with each adjective. “But once you get to the inside, so once someone gets to know you, you’re none of these things,” Robbe pauses, swaying their joined hands a little as he peeks at Sander’s face. “You’re nice and sweet and stuff. Even with your edgy black and white aesthetics,” he adds as the second-thought, grinning when he gets a deadpan look in return. It quickly morphs into something softer, beautifully confirming Robbe’s words.

“Okay, let’s say I’m a mango man. In that case, you’re a cutie pie,” Sander says matter-of-factly, always needing to have the last word, and Robbe can only laugh helplessly, trying not to combust under his intense glance. “Also, my black and white aesthetics are amazing, by the way.”

Robbe doesn't dare to argue with that, and he also agrees with the statement so he admits as much, making Sander very pleased. 

They walk way into late hours of the evening, huddling closer together with each passing hour in search of warmth against the coldness of the night, or at least that serves as the main excuse. Sander has him bursting in fits of giggles sharing crazy stories from his shopping assistant job and Robbe finds himself opening up about his videotaping passion, a little shy when knowing about Sander's photography skills, but the boy's eyes shine bright when Robbe mentions it, and he's so attentive and interested in everything he has to say on the topic, of the small details he geeks out about that it makes fuzzy feelings swim rampant in his stomach; it's the kind of attention he's been unknowingly yearning for, and here it is, served on a golden plate and in a package so beautiful it makes him swoon.

And he also walks him home, acting all gentlemanly and offering his jacket when the shivers shake Robbe's body a bit. What a catch.

“So, um,” Sander starts as they reach the front door of Robbe’s apartment building, his face mostly covered in shadows cast by the street lanterns. “Kiss or slap?”

The answer to the question is obvious for both of them, but Robbe can’t stop himself from teasing him a bit, scrunching up his face in a deep thought, eyebrows frowned, making Sander scoff impatiently, which is exactly the reaction he was hoping for.

Still, he needs to push him a bit more. “Hmm, I’m not sure. I should probably go with the slap for that ice cream incident.” Sander plays along, heaving a regretful sigh, before turning those pretty eyes on him, lips in a pout and hands put together in a praying motion.

“A kiss?” Bottom lip juts out and he’s just too cute for words, Robbe dropping his facade immediately, not stopping his beaming smile anymore.

He also can't fucking wait any longer.

“Okay, I gue-”

Soft lips crash into his, not letting him finish the sentence, Robbe’s clumsiness almost making him topple over, but Sander’s there to catch him, sure hands squeezing his hips and sending small shocks through his body. He rests his hand on the back of Sander’s neck, giving in to the need to bury his fingers in that messy blond hair, and he tugs, just a little, but it’s enough for Sander to sigh into his mouth and pull him closer. Robbe loves the reaction, whimpers quietly as he parts his lips just right for Sander’s tongue to slip inside, to tease at the soft skin inside of Robbe’s bottom lip. It’s all over after that, the kiss morphing from something soft and sweet to tongues sliding together, teeth clinking almost painfully in their desperation, the kiss tasting of mango ice cream and cotton candy, and it’s the best Robbe has ever tasted.

It’s better than he imagined, Sander’s hands caressing his sides as he slows down the kiss so sweet and tender, it pulls at every single one of his heartstrings. He can’t believe he has this wonder of a boy in his arms, kissing him so good, making him dizzy.

The kiss stops eventually, but they stay put, as close as before, the tips of their noses grazing against each other, warm breaths and fluttering lashes, fingernails scratching at the skin that’s covered in goosebumps.

“I have to go,” Robbe murmurs between the miniscule space between them, giggling quietly at the immediate frown his words cause.

“Nooooo.” Sander hides his face in his flushed neck, pressing a kiss there too because why not. “I need more kisses.”

And who is Robbe to tell him no, he goes willingly when Sander lifts his chin up for another one, his mouth a little puffy now. He lets him have it, not that it’s any hardship; he’d stay here all night, just lazily sliding their lips together in a never ending dance.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Sander asks when they break apart. “I’d like to introduce you to someone.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You know, he’s very important to me, has been in my life for years so his opinion kinda matters a lot.”

His words take Robbe aback, but he tries not to show his discomfort, even though Sander must have felt how tense his body went. He doesn’t seem to find it weird, his face still smiling as he keeps talking about this he that’s apparently so important.

“I hope he’ll like you. He’s perfect, you know?” Actually, Robbe does not know and he’s getting kinda annoyed. He’s pretty sure waxing lyrical about someone else on a date is a faux pas. “I mean, except for leaving fur on anything he touches.”

What.

Robbe’s eyes swivel up to look at him, the corners of Sander’s lips twitching and his face a picture perfect of impishness. He groans in protest, smacking his chest because Sander did it on purpose to pull a reaction out of him and it’s not fair, damn it. He crosses his arms which proves difficult to do when there are still hands firmly holding his hips, keeping him close.

Sander rests their forehead together, swaying them a little to put a smile on Robbe’s grumpy face. “He’s a Norwegian Forest breed and his name is Major Tom.”

And this time it’s Robbe who has a hard time to keep his giggle in because oh my god, what a nerd.

“I wonder where that came from,” he ponders in a voice as serious as he can manage, but Sander sees right through him, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“It’s the bestest name ever, I’ll have you know.”

He gets shut up with another kiss, last one, the sweetest out of all of them. Then, Robbe steps out of his embrace, not trusting himself to end this when Sander's hands are touching any part of his body, and tells him a quiet goodnight, backing into the front door with Sander's soft sleep well ringing in his ears and a huge smile threatening to spread on his face.

Sander: May your dreams be filled with cotton candy 🍬🍭

It only takes a minute for his phone to ping.

And maybe some mangos too 🥭

Robbe: Just need one 😘

White-haired mangos 😘

Goodnight ❤️

[OH] When You’re Ready Ch. 05

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey. 

Word Count: 4.7k

Warning: Adult language and fluff.

Summary: Bryce has decided to let go Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce's plans.

Taglist: @utterlyinevitable @binny1985​ @laiba-the-person​ @choicesficwriterscreations @shanzay44 @starrystarrytrouble​ 

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist! 

A/N: First of all I wanna thank  Donny for give me permission to use his photo for this chapter. Since I had this chapter in mind, I always wanted to post a photo with the Fenway Atrium Court at night, and it happened Donny was the only person who had photos of what I had exactly in mind, so thank you so much again!!

To my readers,  I invite you all to visit his Instagram account. His work is impressive. 

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I hope you enjoy this chapter. 

_____________

Chapter 5: Something About Us.

It might not be the right time

I might not be the right one

But there’s something about us I want to say

Cause there’s something between us anyway

After the night out at Improv Atrium, Bryce and Eleanor continued to hang out as much as their shifts allowed. Sometimes to try new music, new bars or simply to go to find some new adventures just as they used to before. 

Eleanor, so committed to getting her life back, accepted all the invitations he made her. She soon noticed that she was feeling in a better mood when she was around him and her daily mood had improved significantly.

That led Eleanor to start seeing him like she used to before. In fact, not like before, but completely different. She didn’t think of him as someone to have a casual fling with, a friend to have fun with and that was all. She was beginning to see him as the man she was attracted to and comfortable with. A man who no longer brightened her days by his humor, his flirtatious smile, or his self-confidence, but by the care, the time, and the good moments he was giving to her.

At first, she didn’t realize the changes in her, she thought she was just so happy to hang out with him like they used to, that she was glad their adventurous friendship was back; but one day, she found herself wishing she could see him and talk to him. Wishing she could see his smile and hear his voice.

One day, Eleanor was walking into the hospital with Jackie when someone caught and hugged them by the shoulders.

“How are two of my favorite medical interns?”

“I’ll be better if you take your ken doll arm off my shoulders, thank you.”

“Always so nice, Varma.”

“Of course, Lahela—Jackie winked at him, a smirk in her mouth—You should be thankful that I didn’t punch you in the face”

“What happened to you? Did you use stones instead of sugar with your coffee this morning, Jackie?”

“Sugar is for wimps; I drink my coffee black”

“That explains how psychopath you are sometimes”

“And you, why so happy, uh?”

“I’m always happy, Elle.”

“Yeah, but you’re annoyingly happier than other days."—Jackie insisted

“Actually, you have a minute, Elle?”

“Sure”

Jackie raised an eyebrow, looking at them suspiciously.

“I catch you later, Jackie”—Eleanor added, without noticing her cheeks had turned a little rosy.

"Take your time."—She joked as she continued walking towards the locker room.

“What is it?”

“Have any plans today?”

“Maybe go to have some drinks at Donahue’s, has been a rough week.”

“I’ve got something better”

“Like what?”

“A surprise. You up for a surprise?”

“Um, yeah? I guess so”

“I need some confidence, Elle!”

“Yes, I’m up for a surprise with Bryce Lahela!”

“That’s the spirit!”

They continued their way towards the locker room, lost in the conversation.

“Can you give me a clue about this surprise? Like, it’s music, it’s food, it’s some new game?”

“Well, maybe it’s the three of them.”

“You’re not helping, Bryce!”

“It’s a surprise, and I’ll keep my mouth shut until we are there.”

“Okay, I get it”—Eleanor answered, rolling her eyes—So, we meet at the atrium as usual?”

“Yes, as usual.”

“Okay”

Surprisingly, Bryce cupped her cheeks with both hands and gave her a short but loud kiss on the cheek.

“Have a nice day, beautiful, see ya.”

And then he went directly to his locker, but not before giving her the most charming smile she had ever seen on him. Eleanor stood in the doorway, flushed and astonished.

Jackie glanced towards her, still looking mischievous.

“What are you, fifteen?”

Eleanor ignored Jackie and went to her locker, her cheeks still reddened. She put on her scrubs, tied her hair into a braid, and with Jackie by her side headed to the Nurses’ Station to do the first morning rounds.

Although she was fully focused on her work, Eleanor couldn’t help but feel a little anxious about the end of her shift. The kiss Bryce gave her in the locker room attacked her from time to time, making her cheeks return to a rosy hue. In a way, she knew that was connected to the surprise Bryce had, because he never, in all these weeks, had been this affectionate to her. But she didn’t want to get any ideas or illusions about anything. 

"So…"—Jackie said to her, both taking a break in the Nurse Station. "Are you going to tell me what the meathead wanted with you or not? You’ve been acting weird since this morning.”

“Um … Nothing, just inviting me out, as usual.”

“Oh sure. As usual. What is gonna be today? Jazz? Trash punk? You’ll make yourself quite the music critic, uh?”

“Actually, I don’t know, he didn’t tell me.”

“A surprise date, damn. He’s getting serious.”

“Shut up, Jackie.”

“Oh, Eleanor, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

She blushed.

“I have.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Please, Eleanor, he has been stupid for you since day one, and the stupidest since he started to take you out once Ramsey left. Do you like him?”

“Um, I don’t know.”

“You cannot not know, it’s simple, yes or no. You have to know before it gets more serious.”

“I don’t know, Jackie. Maybe. It's… it’s not that I do NOT like him. But I don’t know if I like him… or like him enough. I’m confused.”

“Mmm well, I think that’s a start.”

“You think so?”

“Well, yeah. Of what I recall, he was never a possibility before. Just a hookup. And now…you don’t deny it.”

“I know, it’s just… I still have feelings for Ethan.”

“Yeah, I know, but you can’t close the door, Eleanor. Maybe he’s your way out.”

“But I don’t wanna use him. Not him that has always been too good with me.”

“I’m not saying you should use him. I’m just saying, give him a chance. If you don’t feel it, it’s okay, but you should give both a chance. To you, to… feel something good in your life after all the crap Ramsey put you though, and Lahela… because of all the effort he has put on you. Just a chance.”

“Well … I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right Eleanor.”

“Thank you, Jackie. I never thought you would be so good at pep talk.”

“I’m not, but I’m tired of seeing Lahela cheering you like a fucking clown and you don’t seem to notice.”

“I have notice… I’m not that dumb… It’s just, just today I realized where this is really going. Or where he wants to go.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, you’re so clueless sometimes.”

Eleanor gave her a shy smile.

“Eleanor, just … don’t close yourself to the possibility. If you realize later that he isn’t for you, that’s fine, but you can’t miss a chance because of someone who is thousands of miles away and hasn’t shown any concern for you since he left.”

She nodded and then saw her friend grab the charts from the table to start a new round with her patients; then took a breath and decided to do the same.

Eleanor spent the last three hours of her shift thinking about the last few weeks. She did have realized that Bryce was trying to cheer her up and get her out of her misery. But she had never realized that he had other intentions with her because he never suggested anything. Bryce was direct, flirtatious, and always went for what he wanted, without hesitation. Therefore, if Bryce had been flirting with her, Eleanor would’ve noticed. Instead, all she remembered was Bryce asking her out, going to concerts, talking about life, etc. When Eleanor was suddenly feeling a little bad, Bryce would persuade her into talking about her feelings and would guide her toward a way out or would just make her laugh to ease the demons inside her head.

“Eleanor, you’re doing it great.”—He would say when she was feeling down in the middle of the night—“Just look at you now! We are in the middle of a jazz music concert, surrounded by people who in a million years we would think we meet. You’re not in your room, crying, thinking about Ramsey, or eating ice cream, or drowning yourself with work. You have come a long way. Just look at your face! Even your face it’s different!”

“Well, yeah..”

“Enjoy your life, Elle, meet new people, live new experiences, find meaning in simple things like music, or a random night out in Boston. That’s what really matters.”

Eleanor was moved to realize how, once again, Bryce noticed things that not even herself noticed. Her progress in pain, her mood, etc. And that was because Bryce took the time to listen to her, to pay attention to her. Her friends did that too. Sienna and Elijah mostly, had been actively supporting and caring for her all this time. They had given her their space, but they also pushed her to share her feelings with them and they used to call her out when she was sinking again.

But with Bryce… it was different. 

Fifteen minutes to the end of her shift, Eleanor finished her rounds. Before another new case could be handed over to her, she went straight to the locker room to take a shower and change her clothes. Ever since their first night out with Bryce, Eleanor started to bring some nice clothes to get change in case he would invite her to another adventure. Fortunately, that day she was bringing a pretty cute outfit. 

She dressed in dark blue jeans, a white collared sleeveless blouse, and an emerald green jacket. Unlikely other nights out, that night she paid attention to her appearance. She fixed her hair and applied the basic makeup she had found in her backpack: A cupper tone eyeshadow that highlighted her brown eyes in a golden tone, a mascara that made her eyes look bigger, and a pink lipstick that gave her a jovial appearance.

As soon as she was ready, she went to the atrium to wait for Bryce. She sat down on a chair near the entry and started scrolling on her phone, looking for memes that made her laugh to ease her anxiety.

“Hey, sorry for the delay I had to talk to…"—Eleanor looked up and Bryce choked with his own his words.—A post-op… Woow”

“What?”

“You look incredible, Elle.”.

Eleanor blushed and smiled at him

“Thank you. You look great too. This color suits you.”—She replied gripping the collar of his pale pink silky shirt that made his skin look like sweet caramel.

“Shall we?”

“Absolutely”

“Are you going to tell me where are we going?”

“No, but I’ll tell you it’s a little different from where we usually go. I think you’ll like it. There, that’s our uber ride.”

He pointed out a car parked a few feet from the entrance.  

“Good night. Bryce?”—The driver greeted.

"The very same.”—He replied while both got in the car and greeted the driver.

“Do you have an alternative route?”

“No, use the one that the application gives you”

“Okay.”

After about ten minutes, the car stopped. As the got out of the car, they sauntered toward a square building, made of glass, beautifully lit and surrounded by green grass and trees. Eleanor searched for a name that would reveal where they were until she found it in the building next to the first one, which revealed: Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.

“A Museum? Wow, I never thought you were a Museum guy.”

“Well, I am. I mean, I’m not the type of guy who goes to museums weekly, but from time to time I like to go when I feel the adventure’s waiting for me there.”

“And you’re feeling the adventure is waiting for us in there?”

“Well, adventure is not what I have in mind for tonight, but I’m open to anything”

Eleanor couldn’t help but blush a little. Then, they made their way into the building.

“Is it common for museums to be open at this time of day?”

“No, just this museum, on this specific day.”

“What do you mean?”

“The third Thursday of the month, the Museum opens at night and people play music and put shows until late. They usually close at 9 pm, but for some reason, it will be open till 12 pm today.”

“Really? I had no idea. How exciting!!—She said clapping her hands, smiling like a little girl.—I like this already!

“I’m glad you liked it.”

Bryce showed his cellphone when they made it to the ticket booth.

“Wow, you had planned this with anticipation, uh?”

“A couple of days, yes. I’m not just spontaneity, you know?”

After their entrance was allowed, they continued their way towards the Fenway Court Palace, the museum itself. The Palace was the house of Isabella Stewart Gardner, an art collector whose Museum was called after her, and that was built to emulate a 15th Venetian Palace.

Every step they walked into the building felt like they were entering another world. There was no trace of Boston there. It was all Europe, China, and some America too, but the style and most of the art were foreign.  

They spent about two hours wandering around the four-floor construction, while the bands were playing, the exhibitions were showing, the tours being guided and the attendants were having a drink. A real party in an outstanding place.

Once the finished the third floor, Bryce decided to take her to the main floor so they could see the Fenway Atrium Court up close. The Courtyard was famous for the Mosaic of Medusa, which had been created in Rome before Christ, and was surrounded by an impressive array of shrubs, flowers, and botanical spices that made them forget, once again, they were in the middle of Boston. The tranquility and beauty of nature in those square feet transported them to another dimension, much more with the stars that covered the spring night.*

“Oh my god, this is … absolutely wonderful. It seems like it was taken from a fairy tale.”

Eleanor turned to him, a big smile on her face. But he had been looking at her all this time. The Fenway Courtyard was indeed beautiful, but her smile would always be the winner for him.

“May I have this dance, miss?”

In the distance, a jazz ballad was playing, coming from a band on the other side of the courtyard. They began to dance close together, cheek to cheek. Eleanor wrapped her arms around his neck while his were at her back; both with their eyes closed, feeling the music, the tranquility in the air, the laughter of the people. (A/N: I highly recommend you to hear this version of the song, since I wrote the scene with that one on my mind).

“When I fall in love it will be forever

Or I’ll never fall in love

In a restless world like this is

Love is ended before it’s begun

And too many moonlight kisses

Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun”

Eleanor hadn’t felt so calm in a long time. Her anxiety had dissipated and had been replaced by a feeling of amusement, peace and joy. There were no worries, fear, anguish. And it was all because of him.

“When I give my heart it will be completely

Or I’ll never give my heart

And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too

Is when I fall in love with you”

Suddenly, Eleanor slid her arms through his chest and wrapped them around Bryce’s back, hugging him. Bryce reacted a few moments later, a bit astonished, but returned the embrace with delight. He placed his hands to her waist and tightened the grip. For a brief moment, Eleanor wanted to cry for how beautiful that moment felt. She pulled away from him, her heart beating fast, and looked him straight in the eye. And at that moment, both were aware of how much desire was in them. But a pure desire. A longing he had never seen in Bryce. A longing Bryce had never seen in Eleanor toward him.

Bryce was an open book and Eleanor always knew when he wanted her. But now his longing was completely different. It was in a tender, protective, and amazed way, all at once, like he was discovering a treasure in front of him. And for Eleanor, it felt like she was seeing him for the first time, seeing how he really was, with all the feeling he had tried to hide in these past weeks. She was discovering a treasure too.

Her legs began to tremble, so she brought her hands to his cheeks, in the hopes of finding balance and the courage she needed for the next move. The touch of his skin was enough to find it. 

She leaned to him, and after observing each other mouths for a few moments, their lips fused. Hers brushed his delicately, carefully, feeling the warmth and sweetness little by little. Bryce encircled her more firmly around the waist, leaving her body completely flushed to his. Then he brought a hand to the back of his neck to tilt her head and deepened the kiss without losing the delicacy or sweetness of that moment. Their hearts were beating fast, eyes were seeing stars, their skin was melting as they opened their mouths to explore more of themselves; until they finally, after a long dance of lips and tongues, they returned to a slow, soft kiss, just to finish with a chaste kiss in their lips.

"Elle"—He sighed, pressing his forehead into hers, not hiding any astonishment in his voice.

An electric shock waved through her spine. She had always loved the fact that he was the only person in the world that called her Elle. That nickname felt unique for her. 

 Then he pulled away from her, his amber eyes looking into hers, creating electricity the moment they met. It seemed like he was looking right through her soul and made her feel an exquisite warmth and calmness inside her.

“Bryce…”—She whispered, her eyes sparkled with joy—"Don’t think I haven’t noticed everything you’ve done for me in this time."—She continued softly while caressing his cheek with the tip of her thumb, holding her eyes in his.

“What do you mean?”—He replied, feigning ignorance.

She shook her head

“I know you’ve been particularly focused on cheering me up, making me feel good…”

“Well yeah, it’s the least I would do to keep you from looking sad, Elle.”

“I know, but it has been much more than trying to get me out of my misery for a while. Although our nights out always have a friendly motive and you have never insinuated anything all this time, your eyes and your heart have spoken for themselves.

“And what have they said?”

“Well, in all this time, everything has been about me. How I feel, what I wanna do. You don’t flatter yourself when we are together, you don’t encourage any conversation that ends up bringing the focus to you. And it feels natural, it doesn’t feel… cynical or condescending of you. That’s a very great show of interest. I know that deep down it has been with ulterior motives.”

Bryce bit his lip, holding the gaze, implicitly accepting the accusations she was making. She smiled.

“Thanks, Bryce. This date has been beautiful.”

“Date?”

“You don’t have to pretend with me anymore. I know that when you talked about going out or hanging out, deep down in your mind you planned it as an undercover date.”

Bryce laughed.

“Wow. Not for nothing you were selected as Junior Fellow on the Diagnostics Team, were you? Very good observations.”

Bryce stroked her cheek.

“I hate to see you sad, Eleanor. That’s why I’ve been trying to make you feel good, to show you how you deserve to feel, how you deserve to be treated, because you don’t deserve anything that happened to you.”

"Bryce…"—Eleanor had never seen him so serious as now. He was genuinely reflecting how much he had been worried about her, how much her situation had pissed him off.

“Eleanor, you are a person with incredible kindness, devoted to your patients, colleagues, friends … You shouldn’t be treated they way Ramsey has done to you or left you wondering what you did wrong. Not even the excuse that your career is most important is justified, because there are much kinder and considered ways to put distance between you and without hurting you that much.”

“I know.”

“You know, when you told me we had to end what we had, I was okay with it, because I truly believed that Ramsey was gonna fight for you, because, God, in his place, I’d do everything to make you happy, I’d give you everything”—Bryce sighed, looked up at the sky and then to her, resolution in his eyes.—"But I can’t anymore, Eleanor, I can’t keep seeing you suffering because of someone who doesn’t value you, someone who isn’t even capable of sending you a fucking email to tell you that he’s okay.”

Eleanor looked away, hurt, sad, embarrassed. Hearing the reality from his mouth was a much-needed bucket of cold water.

“It’s true, it was a miserable attitude of him. But Bryce, listen to me. I appreciate everything you have done for me and …”

She couldn’t go on. She had to be careful with her words to not feel any regrets later. But actually, there was nothing else to think about, that moment was the confirmation of all the doubts that had been around her mind during the day, and, honestly, also for several days, since she sensed something was different with Bryce. The doubts weren’t really doubts. It was fear. Fear of making the same mistakes as with Ethan. Afraid of doing to Bryce what Ethan was doing to her. But Eleanor was no longer afraid.

“I feel things for you, Bryce"—She confessed—"Even more than I felt before we broke up,  but I still have Ethan in here” –She pointed to her heart—"And I don’t want to give you any false hopes. The last thing I want is to hurt you, and I don’t think I’d ever forgiven myself if I did.”

“I know, Eleanor, I know it’s not something that happens overnight, but I want you to know that I’m here for you, and I wanna show you what you deserve because I care about you, Elle"—Bryce suddenly shook his head, denying. —"More than that,  I’ll do it because I love you.”

Eleanor was agape. She’d managed to conclude that Bryce liked her, and well, everyone knew that. Sienna, Elijah, Jackie had noticed what Bryce was doing with her that last few weeks, but she never expected to hear those three words from Bryce. But they were sincere. His gaze, all his past behavior echoed what he had said. And that amazed her more. Although it also increased her fear of hurting him in all this path that they seemed to be starting together.

“I won’t pretend that I don’t feel what I actually feel. Would be contradictory of me to shut up something like that when I want to give you everything, and that starts from being honest with my feelings… And please, don’t feel scared. I’m not saying this to manipulate you. I just want you to know how I feel about you, but don’t feel forced to anything, okay?”

“Bryce, I …”

“Elle, I know you don’t feel the same, I know you’re in love with Ramsey, but I want you to give me the opportunity to show you everything you deserve. The love, care, support, and happiness… So when the day comes, you stop accepting crumbs from anybody and go for what you really want and deserve. It may not be with me, but with someone you love and that loves you back the same way. Even with Ramsey, if he wakes up.”

Eleanor was astounded. Bryce Lahela. The cocky, brilliant, and handsome surgical intern. The most self-confident person she knew. The man whose art of flirtation came so naturally to him, as if he carried it in his veins. That Bryce Lahela was playing all his cards even knowing that he might not be the winner, but someone else, including Ethan.

"Bryce… Are you serious?”

“I am, Eleanor. You have to figure it out for yourself. I don’t do it just to make you choose me, but to make you happy. And well, if it turns out that it’s me, obviously I’ll be the happiest man on this planet. But what I really want is you to figure this out.”

“Oh my God Bryce, I’d never have expected this.”

“I must admit that neither do I. I spent a long time trying to forget you, you know? But when I realized that I couldn’t… And that you were so sad, I decided to give myself a chance, give us a chance to be happy, to look for possibilities. And I believe together we may find a lot of happiness along the way, Elle. Also pain, but if we are together I think it will be easier to face what may come.”

Eleanor stared at him in the eyes, reading the sincerity in his expression. There were no hidden intentions, no jealousy, no insecurity, no manipulation. Only the genuine wish that she would experience in her own flesh what she deserved in a relationship.

“I’m speechless”—She murmured, stroking his silky hair softly.

Bryce grinned, caressing her cheek.

“You’re truly wonderful, Bryce.—She finally said—Among all the prejudices I had about you, one of them was that you had zero emotional intelligence. Even when you have been very understanding all this time. But this is different. This is so open-minded, so selfless. Is on another level.”

“That’s how love works, Elle. It’s selfless. And if I’m honest with you, I only found out this because of you. Before you, I never felt this way. I  want you more than anyone in my life, but what really matters to me is you to be happy, and I hope it’s with me.”

“I think I’m being happy with you right now… And I have been happy these past weeks too”—She replied, her cheeks flushed.

“I’m glad you feel this way—Suddenly, he chuckled—God, you’re so cute when you blush”

Her cheeks went crimson

“Ahh stop it!”

“Just look at you, so lovely”

They both laugh.

Eleanor then caressed his cheek, looking at him so tenderly. She couldn’t understand since when it was that easy to look at him this way, but she liked it.  She kissed him again.

“I don’t want to play with you, Bryce, but for some reason, I don’t want to leave your side, and … Maybe a part of me wants this to go on and grow until… Well, until you’re the one.”

His heart stopped. He’d have never expected that. Well, he didn’t even think this date would go that well, but he never expected Eleanor would be so open to the possibility to be together. It seemed like he was doing a good job after all.

“You really mean that?”

“I really do, Bryce.”

“Me too.”—He replied, stroking her hair.—But you have to know that if you feel things are changing, for better or for worse, you must tell me. If Ramsey returns and promises you heaven and earth and you want to try with him, just tell me. And if instead … Your love turns to me, well, of course, I want to know!”

“I will.”

There was still music in the air. Another jazz ballad. Bryce wrapped her in his arms and kissed his forehead.

“I love this, Bryce.—She whispered while melting in his embrace—“You really outdid yourself. This is perfect.”

“Just like you, Elle.

______

Chapter 6.

Stop Dick-Riding...

This generation is literally obsessed with murderers. When there is clear evidence of someone murdering someone unprovoked, there shouldn’t be any shouts of “free ‘so and so’”. Like what the fuck is wrong with y’all. 

In the past, people that were obsessed with murderers to this extent were seen as weirdo psychopathic nerds.  People advocate for these boogers thinking that they are so far removed from them. Bro, they live amongst you!! People like to think that they can’t be touched by what these wannabe thugs do. They patrolling YOUR neighborhoods. A lot of rappers and entertainers in general will more than likely move their house into the nice neighborhoods so far removed from the “hood” but will still be patrolling the “hood”….Like wtf are you doing here? It’s not to give back to the community or make a positive change, they only doing dirt. 

Their little skirmishes will affect you. There are so many innocent and uninvolved people that get killed in drive-bys or by stray bullets. A little girl was in her bed sleep and she was killed by a stray bullet. 

Yeah, most of the people being affected are people that CHOSE that lifestyle doesn’t mean the people who kill them should get away scot free. There are still people affected that DID NOT CHOOSE that lifestyle and these hood boogers are affecting people. 

I miss the days when people would scrap and move along, win or lose. Social media got too many people too prideful for no reason. You lose a fight and get your ass beat, and it’s filmed, then you want to get in your feelings and come back with a gun and kill someone. Now, you lost at life. Mfs get life and death sentences over losing ONE fight. I’ve only 2 lost fights in my life and moved the fuck on, it didn’t curb my mouth or freedom of speech anyway, anyhow. You better always be ready to scrap when you talk shit, period. Because not everyone will choose to ignore you. However, losing one fight is not worth losing the rest of your life. 

A lot of people fight and funny enough end up becoming the best of friends afterwards. Just leave it be. Why can’t mugs just admit “I loss”, and move on. Chances are the person that’ll try to clown you would lose against who you fought themselves or will quickly shut down if you press them. It’s not worth it. 

All these wanna-be thugs man and people are so obsessed with social media and social fame, it’s so disgusting. Work on YOUR life, and stop dick-riding for strangers. Grown men and women out here screaming for the release of murderers. 

If there were proof of someone being framed or actually being innocent, I would be right behind everyone screaming for justice. There have been too many people falsely accused and we know black and minority people are treated way harsher by the justice system.  

But, the people y’all are advocating for are people that ARE caught, or admit to doing the crimes. Are PROVEN as having did it. Like..bro. Why would I advocate for these little turds?

A real gangster went only after people that were (1) in that life and (2) that they SPECIFICALLY had an issue with. They made sure not to involve any unrelated people ESPECIALLY women and children.  They did crime but their purpose wasn’t to come off as being psychopathic or sociopathic. 

Men and women got too used to using guns. Mugs are really just some straight cowards. Guns are for the weak (I am definitely getting one), not the strong. You are to use it for protection when your fists are not enough. You have lame ass mugs shooting from a distance. You are not some big and bad, you are just a weak and coward ass loser.

It’s never been in self defense for a lot of these mfs, it’s been them going around starting shit.

Some dumb motherfucker shot down my street, no one was hit thank god, when the person (I know who it was in that lifestyle) they looking for BEEN FUCKING MOVED out of that house for YEARS. People on my block are either families or old people. Like wtf is yo issue?

And no there is more than just BLACK hood boogers. There is hood boogers in every ethnicity. In every city. In every state. In every country.

But I live here. I live around people who look like me THEY are the people affecting my life and ability to enjoy simple things. 

I can’t even take my nephew to the fucking park because people are either shooting or pissing or leaving trash and razor blades everywhere, big ass pets are the loose. Like it’s just disgusting out here. People are really just out here being fine with living in filth. Don’t bring that fucking project mentality to my neighborhood and fuck up our property value. 

It’s already down because we are black and housing business already discriminates, don’t make it worse. 

EXPECTATIONS + everyone

PENELOPE    my  expectations  for  penelope  were  actually  pretty  spot  on.  i  thought  that  the  confidence  wasn’t  an  act,  which  it  isn’t.  that’s  genuinely  her  personality  y’all.  and  then  that  she  had  more  than  the  capability  to  be  a  soft  bitch.  i  was  also  correct.  what  surprised  were  the  next  two  things  in  particular.  one,  i  didn’t  realise  her  insistence  on  putting  a  stop  to  josie’s  co-dependence  was  a  cue  to  her  own  co-dependent  traits  and  the  longer  she  went  along  that  path,  the  more  they  would  be  nurtured.  it  manifests  differently  than  it  does  in  josie,  but  it’s  equally  unhealthy.  this  girl  literally  died  for  her  girlfriend.  yikes.  and  two,  i  was  surprised  by  how  truly  selfish  she  is.  we  all  know  she’s  the  selfish  and  josie  is  the  selfless  and  so  on  but  she  is  a  genuinely  selfish  person.  to  her  core.  i  was  surprised  by  the  truly  relentless nature  of  her  self  interest  and  equally,  the  fact  that  her  self  awareness  of  it  doesn’t  make  her  want  to  change  it.  HOPE    my  expectations  for  hope  were  pretty  consistent  with  her  surface  level  reality.  i  always  knew  she  had  about  45  ongoing  identity  crises  and  that  most  of  them  tied  in  her  family.  adult  vs  teenager,  desires  vs  duties.  the  typical  heroine  stuff.  and  while  that’s  still  true,  and  is  an  absolutely  enormous  complex  in  her,  i  have  come  to  realise  i  underestimated  the  true  extent  of  her  damage  and  how  it  affects  her.  the  level  of  pathological  doubt,  abandonment  and  in  turn  saviour  complex  and  desperation  this  girl  has  going  on  cannot  be  understated.  i  am  truly  surprised  she  functions  as  well  as  she  does.  i  always  knew  she  loved  people  hard  and  uniquely,  as  both  part  of  being  a  mikaelson  and  simply  part  of  being  who  she  is,  but  i  came  to  realise  how  deeply  that  runs.  hope  mikaelson’s  love  is  like  no  other  and  it  is  consuming  and  can  be  overwhelming  but  it’s  also  incredibly  beautiful.  if  she  loves  you,  she’s  going  to  love  you  for  the  rest  of  her  life,  whether  she  wants  to  or  not.    i  now  think  that’s  another  reason  why  her  i’m  dangerous  to  people  complex  exists.  she  knows  that  the  way  she  loves  people  has  pushed  them  away  before  (  ie,  in  her  mind,  her  father  as  a  child  )  and  equally,  she  knows  if  she  lets  people  in  and  loves  them  like  she  can  and  they  leave,  she’ll  be  fucked.  people  are  dangerous  to  her  too,  but  she  can’t  truly  admit  that  without  admitting  why.  like  i  said,  i  was  surprised  by  how  deep  that  runs.KAI     at  this  point,  i’ve  been  playing  kai  for  a  long  time.  he’s  a  violent,  manipulative,  incredibly  intelligent  sociopath.  none  of  that  has  ever  been  a  surprise.  the  one  surprise  that  i  found,  that  entirely  subverted  my  expectations,  was  that  he  is  capable  of  something  akin  to  love  that  isn’t  narcissism.  this  first  became  clear  to  me  through  his  relationship  with  lizzie  because,  yes,  it  may  have  started  out  as  manipulation  with definitively  malicious  intent  but  it  did  bleed  into  genuine  want  to  see  her  succeed.  he  might  have  given  her  stockholm  syndrome  but  he’s  given  himself  just  as  much  of  a  problem.  he  cares  about  her  now,  wants  to  turn  her  into  what,  in  his  mind,  jo  could’ve  been.  it  didn’t  surprise  me  he’s  given  up  hope  on  jo  but  it  did  surprise  me  that  it’s  projecting,  subconsciously,  onto  lizzie.  basically,  he’s  a  made  monster  and  everything  that  made  him  is  still  very  much  there.  whether  he  acknowledges  it  or  not. ETHAN    me,  a  clown,  hasn’t  actually  written  ethan  that  much  but  i  will  give  a  few  of  my  thoughts  that  are  somewhat  relevant.  i  expected  the  fact  he’s  a  good  guy  to  be  consistent  but  he’s  also  very  selfish  with  the  way  he  feels.  he  might  not  use  it  in  a manipulative,  almost  malicious  in  some  cases  way  like  penelope  does,  but  that  doesn’t  mean  it  isn’t  real.  he  won’t  let  anyone  else  be  stepped  over,  yes,  but  he  also  won’t  let  himself  be  pushed  around.  he  knows  he’s  a  good  guy  and  there’s  a  level  of  shit  he  simply  won’t  take.  will  100%  call  people  out  on  their  bullshit  eventually.  unless  you’re  maya.  then,  well,  you  could  get  away  with  murder.  his  aggression  is  very  intense  and  genuine  (  probably  even  more  intensified  now  that  he’s  triggered  his  curse  )  but  the  lengths  he’ll  go  to  surprised  me.  he  may  have  killed  someone  without  recognising  the  situation,  but  the  will  to  do  so  was  still  there.  was  it  on  an  entirely  moral  ground?  honestly,  i  don’t  know.  unchecked  aggression  and  a  morality  complex  can  be  a  literally  deadly  combination.  CHRISTIAN    christian  has  taken  all  of  three  breaths  so  far  but,  thus  far,  everything  has  been  consistent.  major  self  preservation  down  to  brushing  truly  corrupt  things  under  the  rug.  accepts  corruption  as  a  part  of  life  and  more  so  a  part  of  his  life.  his  survival  is  paramount.  everything  else  can  burn  in  his  wake.  MAXWELL HARVEY/JACKSON ACKERY    y’all  know  the  maxwell  story.  as  a  tl;dr,  obviously  i  didn’t  expect  him  to  turn  out  to  be  a  cannibalistic,  sado-masochistic  psychopath  with  narcissistic  personality  disorder  but  here  we  are.  i  knew  something  was  wrong  from  the  echoes  of  neuroticism  and  fixation  that  were  there  from  the  start  but  when  he  started  to  turn  the  corner,  it  truly  blindsided  me.  and  even  now,  as  i  know  what  he  is  as  a  full  picture,  he  still  finds  ways  to  surprise  me  each  and  everyday.  he’s  in  a  continual  process  of  evolution  and  i  truly  have  no  idea  where  the  train  stops.  as  for  jackson,  he  was  actually  a  revamp  of  a  previous  muse,  also  called  jacks.  i  gave  him  a  revamp  when  i  brought  him  back,  basically  totally  changed  his  backstory,  and  i  knew  something  was  again  a  little  off  from  the  word  go.  he  still  cared  about  people,  however,  so  i  wasn’t  that  concerned.  once  max  came  into  the  picture  however,  who  jackson  was  in  full  became  clear  very  quickly.  jackson  is  a  very  high  functioning  sociopath  who’s  sadism  and  violent  tendencies  have  been  nurtured  well  by  max’s  intentions  and  their  symbiotic  venom-esque  relationship.  the  fact  that  jackson  is  still  a  consistent  presence  in  max’s  narrative  and  his  own  body  surprised  me,  but  it  also  has  come  to  make  perfect  sense.  they’re  two  halves  of  the  same  whole.  they  basically  wrote  themselves  into  existence  and  i  just  watched  with  rapt  entertainment. CALLUM    honestly,  my  expectations  for  callum  have  been  pretty  spot  on.  i  knew  he’d  feel  differently  once  he  killed  someone  again  and  it  became  very  clear  to  him  everything  he  remembers  is  in  fact  real.  it’s  given  him  a  sense  of  innocence  lost  that  was  to  be  expected,  but  not  nearly  as  much  as  i  thought.  he  hasn’t  reverted  back  to  the  person  he  was  when  he  was  first  alive  but  he  also  isn’t  entirely  callum,  so  to  speak,  anymore  either.  he’s  in  a  path  between  and  honestly,  that  makes  sense  to  me.  what  will  really  come  to  interest  me  is  what  happens  next.  AIDY    honestly,  point  blank,  i  expected  aidy  to  basically  be  gay  and  bored  and  not  much  else.  i  was  not  right.  i  knew  she  had  something  going  on,  which  as  you  can  tell  is  a  theme,  but  she  really  was  just  quiet  and  bored  for  a  long  time.  it  was  only  when  she  swapped  bodies  with  harlow  did  i  realise  that  her  boredom  isn’t  boredom,  so  to  speak.  max,  for  example,  is  bored  because  he’s  a  narcissist  who  he  thinks  no  one  (  sans  parker  )  can  measure  up  to  him.  that  makes  every  interaction  worthless  in  his  eyes  and  therefore,  makes  him  feel  bored.  aidy  is  simply  apathetic.  the  reason  she  was  quiet  and  bored  was,  actually,  because  she  doesn’t  feel  anything.  she  feels  one  baseline  emotion  and  sparks  of  things  that  could  be  compared  to  things  like  love,  or  excitement,  or  involvement  that  people  even  like  max  can  feel.  aidy  can’t  and  doesn’t  feel  them.  the  only  things  that  truly  enthuse  her  so  she  looks  like  she  can  are  murder,  luxury,  and  bonding  with  people  who  feel  the  same  way.  they   fill  the  void  where  her  emotions  would  be.  other  than  that,  she  exists  at  a  cool  medium.  apart  from  max,  i  have  to  say  she’s  the  muse  i  was  most  surprised  by.  pleasantly  but  still.  BRADLEY    like  with  ethan,  i’m  a  clown  and  i  haven’t  written  bradley  all  that  much.  i  know  that  he’s  a  dumb  bitch,  primarily  interested  in  the  capitalist  side  of  the  world,  and  knows  that  he  has  to  take  responsibility  for  his  stupidity.  i  don’t  think  he  always  does  stupid  things  on  purpose,  but  because  he’s  such  a  genuinely  self-serving  opportunist,  it  backfires  on  him  9  times  out  of  10.  i  think  he’s  learning  from  his  mistakes,  especially  with  the  whole  arlo  situation  that  he  feels  genuinely  bad  about,  but  i  don’t  think  it’s  enough  for  him  to  entirely  quit  cold  turkey.

I watched the first episode of season 6 of The 100 last week and it was really awesome! <3

I really love that poster so much! It’s so cool and different, not like any I’ve seen before for anything really. It’s really nice <3

They went to planet Alpha where those others from that ship had landed hundreds of years ago.

Those crazy bugs in swarms and stuff was unexpected! That planet is crazy. That’s one thing you don’t know about other planets, what inhabit it! They could’ve immediately gotten eaten by some giant thing for all the knew after landing lol. Even if the atmosphere and whatnot is similar to Earth, it doesn’t mean it has the same species on it. 

I can’t believe Shaw just ran in to that radiation shield like that, that was dumb. Shouldn’t just run around on a planet you know nothing about.

The place those people lived was well ... interesting looking. It looked like I dunno, inspired by clowns and the circus or something. It was colourful I think. It wasn’t what I expected at all lol. I expected some very basic stuff but it wasn’t so basic.

Bellamy said to Clarke that the girl had told him about the radio calls lol.

They found that crazy book saying the eclipse on that planet caused people to go crazy. Ya know, because that’s just great lol! That’s all they need when they think they’ve got a nice new start on a nice friendly habitable planet.

Emori was the first to go crazy and she went and stabbed her lover Murphy. That’s nice init lol. That’s the first person she goes for ... clearly there’s like no recognition of people in this crazy state or so it seems.

It’s like the classic TV trope in lots of Sci-Fi shows such as The X-Files (ironically the writer of the next episode wrote episodes of The X-Files! lol) etc where people in a remote location get infected with some kind of virus or something and they all go insane and kill each other until eventually someone goes and finds out they’re all dead. Toxins in the air are making them kill each other, so some kind of virus type thing.

So, now instead of them killing other people like pretty much is the plot to every season of the show they’ve decided to make them go and kill each other! Not too much different. I love the show but they don’t stretch their imagination much plot wise akin to The Walking Dead.

Abby tried to save Kane while they still are in space on the ship. She had to lol. Trying to use the Skaikru blood. 

In turn they decided to wake up the sleeping psychopath aka Octavia ... she was better off asleep, not gonna lie. 

She went to Kane and went on about how he went and betrayed Wonkru. It gave him internal bleeding so in the end Abby ended up putting him back in cryo until she could’ve figure out how to save him yet again. That’s the one good thing about all those cryo pods I guess, they can keep people alive who would have otherwise died.

You could also tell Eliza and and Bob had gotten together and married in real life now by the way they looked at each other. It was so cute <3

I can’t wait to watch the rest of the season and see what happens! This is one of my favourite shows! I love it so much <3

Bellamy Blake // Bob Morley <3

My biggest problems with the Tim Burton Batman movies

Batman 1989 and Batman Returns are viewed as classics and helped restore Batman as a dark hero. And they are far better than the Schumacher movies.  Today, most people remember Schumacher as having ruined the legacy of the cinematic Batman, and with good reason. After all, he is the one that put nipples on the Batsuit, gave Batman a credit card, and showed us all the Batsmile. He took a tortured, haunted character with psychological issues and turned him into a real life cartoon. The absurdity of Schumacher’s films also retroactively made Tim Burton’s films better in the minds and memories of fans. Compared to the colorfulness and camp of Batman Forever and especially Batman & Robin, Burton’s films were suddenly remembered as having been dark and brooding affairs that treated the material seriously. But not really. Tim Burton is a legendary filmmaker, a visual genius whose work has changed Hollywood. He brings strange and offbeat but lovable characters to life within universes that look like something from our imagination. Edward Scissorhands and Big Fish alone are a treat for the eyes. Yet his two films set in Gotham City, 1989’s Batman and 1992’s Batman Returns, were not nearly as profound — or as good — as your recollection would have you believe. They’ve aged poorly, yes, but they were not all that good when they were released. It puzzles me that anyone finds any of these movies better than Batman Begins or The Dark Knight. These are my biggest issues with the Tim Burton Batman movies.

The villains are more focused than on Batman. I don’t like it that we know more about The Joker than we do about Batman. We are never supposed to get a definitive origin for The Joker. And we have less focus on Batman as a character, I mean he’s reduced to a side character in Batman Returns. We barely know ANYTHING about Keaton’s Bruce Wayne, let alone his Batman. Burton not understanding the character of Bruce Wayne/Batman is one thing, but he doesn’t even care about him. Perhaps the biggest issue with the films is that he is completely focused on the supporting characters. There are three origin stories in those two films — one in Batman, two in Batman Returns — and none of them tell the story of Bruce Wayne/Batman. All we learn about Bruce Wayne is that his parents were murdered through a flashback and a scene of Alexander Knox and Vicki Vale reading old newspaper articles. Who is Bruce Wayne? What role did his parents play in his life? When did he dedicate his life to fighting crime? How did he come up with the symbol of the bat? When and how did he construct the Batcave? Does he have any training?  We know virtually nothing about the titular character. Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins goes to great lengths to explain how Wayne got his hands on all of the gear and gadgets that he would use in his war on crime, but Burton never once takes the time to analyze how Bruce Wayne turned himself into the Caped Crusader.  I think the worst thing about these movies is Burton doesn't care about Batman as a character. There is no origin movie so we do not see why he chooses to become Batman, the only reason we get is "just something I have to do" no mention of training his entire life. We meet him as an adult Batman and all we know is he likes to play dead, he's rich and a bit crazy and he iis what the plot needs him to be. Every time Michael Keaton tells people “I’m Batman” I cringe, Keaton you were not Batman, you were Burton Murderman.

The Joker is an eccentric mobster, not The Joker. While I enjoyed Jack’s Joker, he just seems like a mildly crazy eccentric mobster. In my opinion The Joker should be a psychopathic killer clown who symbolizes the randomness of crime, who thinks life is the joke and death is the punchline, with Jack’s Joker we get the twisted sense of humor, we don’t get the randomness of a crime we get a crazed eccentric mob boss. And when I think about it, Jack Nicholson just did not play The Joker. He changes from scene to scene, with no defining characteristics. The only really clear thing about him is that he is pining after the same woman as Bruce Wayne AND Batman. Worst of all, we are given a definitive origin of his character, including a name, an explanation for why his skin is white and his hair is green. And in giving him these characteristics, we never get a fully-formed Joker. He always remains nothing more than a mentally-ill gangster, out for revenge. Sure, The Joker is the same villain whose identity is ever-evolving. But here, he doesn’t even seem to remember that he IS The Joker. And this is tragic, as he’s being portrayed by Jack Nicholson. Imagine if Nicholson had the chance to play a version of The Joker who made sense, and who matched the villain we know from the source material.

The Joker kills Thomas and Martha Wayne. I feel like this was solely done just so Burton can have the excuse for Batman to kill Joker and criminals in general. Even screen writer Sam Hamm came clean and said he did not have Joker kill Batman’s parents, it was Tim Burton’s idea. You know it’s stupid when your own screen writer throws an incompetent director under the bus. 

Bad fighting. Batman isn’t that great at fighting. There are very few fight scenes in either film. When we see Batman fighting, we see a slow, lumbering, cumbersome Batman that throws a punch or two and maybe a kick before running away. He also loses as many fights as he wins, getting pummeled by the Joker’s henchmen and having his batarang taken away by a small poodle. Several times, he defeats the bad guys not with skill or training, but through gimmicks or luck. 

Batman kills. Batman kills. I don’t think Batman should ever kill. In both of the movies he’s a mass murdering thug. He  kills Joker’s thugs in Ace Chemicals without remorse and practically blows them up. Knocking that one Joker thug against the cathedral bell pretty much killed him and while he was trying to capture The Joker, he pretty much killed him. Oh god it gets worse in Batman Returns. He incinerates one of Penguin’s henchmen with the Batmobile and straps a bomb to another. Batman killing is boring. Batman not killing is what makes him so compelling, if he kills criminals, there is no moral conflict,  if he kills criminals, there is no moral conflict, he is no better than the Punisher, Wolverine or any other dark edgy hero. Burton making Bruce a killer, making the conflict as simply as Batman wants to stop and kill The Joker because The Joker killed his parents does not do justice to their fascinating dynamic.

I do not like how The Penguin have clown henchmen and The Joker has just regular thugs for henchmen. Seems like it’s reversed.

As much as I love Burtonverse Batmobile, I do not understand HOW the armor functions properly in real life, nor do I understand the pole in Batman Returns fits in the Batmobile like really? HOW?????

Batman and Gordon's relationship. Jim Gordon is made into such a completely irrelevant character. They took one of the most important aspects of the Batman myth and made him into a bumbling, slapstickish cartoon police chief. If Burton had treated his source material with more respect, Gordon wouldn’t be such an irrelevant character. Commissioner Gordon is one of the first two characters in Batman, ever. He and Bruce Wayne appear on the very first page of Detective Comics #27 together. He has a major role in every great Batman comic and graphic novel of all time. Instead, he is made into an incompetent joke who you probably don’t even recall being in Burton’s Batman. He also has virtually no interaction with Commissioner Gordon. Historically, Gordon, the only honest cop in Gotham, and Batman have had a strong bond, formed and fortified through their shared goal of cleaning up the city and their experiences therein, but in Burton’s films, Gordon is just another hapless cop that Batman largely ignores and occasionally tolerates. And in the Schumacher films, Gordon is a bumbling stooge who needs Batman to clean up his mess.

The complete waste of Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent. Has no interaction with Batman and never works with him. He barely has a presence. This could've been fixed by making him Two-Face, but Harvey Dent needed to have a presence in Gotham before becoming Two-Face for his fall to mean anything

The Penguin isn't his own villain. He is a puppet for Max and that's just dumb, as enjoyable as Walken was, his character really should not have existed at all. Being born with deformities is fine, but what is overkill is being thrown down a sewer and being raised by Penguins. Burton took Oswald Cobblepot, an overweight, but well-dressed criminal mastermind with a large vocabulary, and turned him into a dirty circus sideshow, an “aquatic bird-boy.” His vision of the Penguin bleeds black and green, has flippers for hands, lives in the sewer, wears a filthy onesie, rides a giant rubber duck, and is obsessed with sex. He also wants to murder sleeping children, but not before blowing off their genitalia: “Male and female! Hell, the sexes are equal with their erogenous zones blown sky high!” That’s an actual line of dialogue. The Penguin should be a gentleman of crime and mockery of high society with an affinity of birds.  Duplicitous mob boss. A guy who EVERYBODY knows is dirty, but he’s smart enough to make sure that there’s just enough deniability for him to get away with it. And JUST enough too, ‘cause he likes rubbing it in Batman’s face that nothing sticks to him. He is a criminal mastermind who is so smart that Batman considers him to be equal or smarter to him. Cares nothing for money or wanting to fit in, all he cares for is a complex caper, wanting to wet his beak and to rub it in Batman’s face.

Catwoman's origin. After being pushed out of a (tiny) window from the top floor of a building, Selina Kyle plummets to the concrete…only to be brought back to life…by cats? And then she goes home in a zombie-like state, rips her clothes apart, shoves her stuffed animals down the sink, spray paints her dollhouse, and sews together her suit? This is important, but knowing how and why Batman came to be doesn’t matter? Catwoman is a sleek, deceptive cat burglar, but Tim Burton decided to take the name literally, turning her into a half-cat, half-woman that drinks milk, eats birds, has nine lives, and doesn’t steal anything. 

d gray man liveblog part 4! (part 1)(part 2)(part 3)

No but seriously, Cyril Camelot is the English Foreign Minister and just staged an assassination attempt on himself for an excuse to declare war on the people he just spent a while negotiating an agreement with.

Why? In what way does this benefit the Noahs?

(...why is the name of the country censored, I feel like hoshino-san just didn’t want to try to come up with a plausible European country for England to go to war with in 18-mumblety.)

I mean Bookman says tragedy breeds akuma in his analysis, but they took Japan while it was so emphatically not at war that it had zero foreign relations at all; war is clearly not necessary for the Earl’s bargains to go through apace.

Cyril kind of looks like he just does this shit for fun.

...”the evil man who made the world his enemy” is a fascinating choice of words, Tykki Mik, I really wonder very hard about you.

And you’re right, when he’s not wearing his balloon costume, and talking normally, and buying flowers from little girls, he looks normal! Weird how that works.

Question: is that umbrella he declined so he could walk in the rain Lero? Does Lero have to share the Earl with other umbrellas outside of official monster business, or disguise himself as a normal bumpershoot when out in public? Is that servant another disguised akuma, or a normal person who has no idea?

...it’s probably an akuma.

YAY KRORY WAKE UP!

why so many chain. it’s not like he lost track of who his enemies were in that last fight, even when he was made of blood. rude to chain.

aw he cry. he cry! ;_; he cry for his friends!

this is the kind of sad boy i like. he can be annoying but not in, you know, a murdery way.

holy shit creepy ghost girl?! i...logically must have read this part before but i don’t remember it, damn i was bingeing like a mad thing.

where...where did the poison come from. why is Krory’s arm sticking out like that. what is going on.

Why Are The Order So Bad.

aaaaand cut to the kind of random hijinks that seem intended to lift the mood but tbh they’re kind of too grim in their own right.

lmao alternately this is an excuse to draw kanda and lavi as chibis and Allen with long hair.

If it’s not because of structural damage, why are they moving to a new base? No one’s said anything about the new headquarters being any more secure against frickin’ teleportation. Maybe the Pope just wants the Order distracted with moving chores?

(I like referring to the higher-ups at the Vatican as the Pope; I realize we have no actual evidence the actual Pope even knows any of this is happening, but if hoshino is gonna be having people shout that other people are ‘property of the Pope’ i’m gonna use the word Pope as often as I can get away with because

1) it makes the whole thing more ridiculous b) it emphasizes the European Gothic Via Japan vibe going on here which is at least 20% of the entertainment value and thirdly, ‘Pope’ is fun to say.)

Oh, right, Allen’s ongoing identity crisis! (it only gets worse from here, kid)

The bosses were logically correct to make Cross Marian do his ‘report to Vatican and be responsible’ part before giving him the pay-off of ‘allowed to talk to Allen’ because otherwise he’d just fuck off but damn it’s hard on the kid, being left hanging.

I absolutely do not believe for one second this business with Mana’s past and secret motives was planned before the series started, but that’s honestly for the best; it’s more wrenching when we didn’t have any more reason than Allen to suspect something was off.

...i like when nice clowns adopt people tho... :o(

not telling the brass or their stooge about your creepy extra reflection was a Good Call.

yes link really truly allen is a good kid who is not plotting evil shit. sheesh.

more Potion Accident gags, i’m sorry, i can’t keep up with your taste in mood whiplash and i never liked most slapstick anyway. the bunny ears are. strange.

...never mind who made the ‘talk like a cat’ potion, who packed that box Miranda spilled; that is such an absurd chaotic collection of items organize your shit people. eesh.

Lmao everyone’s #1 creepy ghost theory is, Komui Playing A Dumb Prank.

...okay, Allen’s reaction as the Matron gnaws on his arm, and the fact that everyone’s first assumption is that Allen has annoyed this very sensible woman to the point that she is communicating via teeth, manages to be funny but noooooo, why would you, not Awesome Shoes Lady after she made it through the Level 4 Akuma attack unscathed, come onnnnnn.

okay, uhhh...contagious vampirism zombie thing...lmao everyone gets worried about matron when she bites Miranda, everyone is super embarrassed when Miranda bites Noise, this is just some impressive Not Realizing Shit’s Fucked guys.

okay, zombie horde of various survivors of all the recent massacres.

uh, if this weren’t being dropped at a time of total emotional exhaustion, it would work better. it’s already working better the second time around for the fact that i took a break after the last arc.

considering it comes out monthly and we had a Noah interlude, it probably worked in the original context just fine, but daaaaaamn did this storyline piss me off the first time, all i even remember about it is the rage.

:D Lenalee rescued Tiny Kanda. Who for some reason can interpret her ‘nyah’ sounds.

...how is a stimulant drug contagious via biting.

i remember the first time i read this i naturally assumed the biting disease was derived from Krory. that still would have made more sense.

robot eats notebook, lol...bickering...”my pride won’t allow me to become a zombie” yes allen excellent logic you weirdo.

okay i’m done checking back in when slightly less stupid shit starts happening....

okay never mind the robot’s fireworks blew Allen through a wall, where Krory was suffering in chains, and then the blanket spontaneously combusted, and then there was somebody with an axe...

...and then Allen wakes up and is informed he was knocked out and concludes Krory’s situation was a dream oh come on.

krory is at the door! but being creepy! the robot refuses to open the door out of self-preservation! allen seduces the robot into risking its life!

...

‘this is nostalgic’ with the hero face on i can’t.

okay, so it was Krory, who apparently swallowed the entire bottle of poison, lid included? for some reason?

oh great there’s a parasitic zombie ghost thing riding Reever and sticking its face out his stomach. horror! nope, now played for laughs.

aaaand suddenly veering back into pathos. bonus info about evil human experiments!

...aaaaaand touching bonding moment for the Lees. Aww.

Not only is Komui protective and self-sacrificing, when he isn’t being psychopathic, he has absolved Lenalee of his having sacrificed his entire life to watch over her after she was kidnapped into this.

then a stupid gag! and the ghost does a creepy jealous possession thing! and meanwhile everything is on fire.

et cetera, mood whiplash back and forth at least once every other page...komui starts reciting from memory the names of every single person killed in the Order’s human experiments...

...i don’t think the names are intended as an additional gag, but most of them are fairly odd and many downright improbable, though none truly syllable-mashing outrageous. I’m rather fond of Asia Smet and Oona Boelyn.

a page and a half of heart-rending pathos, and then the robot falls off the ceiling with a huge syringe of ‘vaccine’ it synthesized from Krory’s blood because he was the first infected by the...stimulant...egad, that’s not how any of that works.

and then, and then...anyway then everyone was zombies and the boss from China came in off-panel and fixed everything, as you do.

i truly hate you hoshino katsura, all the more for the fact that i genuinely loved about 15% of that parade of neck-wrenching bullshit.

anyway! that’s all over and done with, we are now on a boat being cute, because allen is using the stolen teleportation Ark that only he can drive to open a door between the old Castle headquarters and this...uh...cave? that they’re moving into.

...oh hey Shadow Of Allen (XIV) is now sporting wings remarkably like the ones Krory had during his drugged vampire zombie freak-out. i bet that means nothing whatsoever.

man whenever Leverrierererererer turns up i hallucinate ominous music. smug assholish ominous music. slimier sounding than the Imperial March, you know?

that’s not just my biases, hoshino-san lights the panels very effectively to create that effect. egad, he’s going to be in command??? is that why the move, because it was easier to undermine komui’s authority if he was removed from his entrenched power base?

...we just covered last chapter that that castle was a leverrier family fortress originally tho. huh.

excessively creepy secret Pope police involved in isolating and depowering Allen.

also lol that is very Japanese-style religious magic going on, that is not what a Catholic ritual binding would look like at all. not that they have as much settled precedent, their demon-fighting standards run much more toward ‘make it go away.’

aw shit komui’s right there and he can’t do shit, best he can get is a promise that ‘if Allen is a good child’ he won’t die.

flashback! aw man allen the first lesson mana ever taught you was to make peace with the dead and let them lie. should’ve listened.

...man allen was a grouchy brat. i wonder what color his hair was, before it went white. haha apparently he acquired his adoptive dad by running away from the circus with him.

pfffffft little allen hated clowns, that achieves the level of actual irony...welp, suicide joke.

aw shit mana was too burned out on grief to cry for his dog but allen could, for the doggie that licked his hand once. imma cry now.

whoa actual conversation with Cross Marian! under the supervision of papal ninjas (known as Crow) within a magic cage of paper. and wow! an actual answer to a question! unprecedented!

...it isn’t labeled which of these kids was Mana and which was (the most recent incarnation of??) the Fourteenth but imma hazard a guess that the one with hair that matches little Allen’s is not Mana.

oh also Adam Puddinghead killed the 14th, i don’t think we officially knew that until now? or maybe it came up when he blew up Edo i don’t recall.

oh my god i was definitely bingeing too hard last time; by the time Cross Marian started referring to the 14th in the second person to Allen my capacity to be astonished or distressed was burned right the fuck out. i was just like ‘yeah yeah figured get on with it.’

it’s actually a pretty dramatic scene, but it’s weird to be getting this shit in straightforward exposition after all this absence of any information at all.

wait “the human implanted with” ... “the host for his revival” ... i can’t tell if Cross Marian is referring to whatever the normal noah transfer process is or some way 14 found of circumventing that.

ohhhhhh man this title page has tiny clown Allen and it is the cutest shit ever.

did i ever tell you guys one time when my mom was two and a half, she had her stage debut as the cutest little pigtailed clown? and she ran onstage toward her daddy just like they’d practiced and the whole audience burst into delighted laughter.

and Tiny!Mom turned to look at them in appalled horror, and u-turned right back around and ran offstage again.

no one had successfully communicated to her she was going to be laughed at by a bunch of strangers. possibly they didn’t expect a toddler to mind.

oh sure Cross Marian, tell the kid the horrifying truth about himself and his dad in the most overdramatic way possible, in front of witnesses, and then when he dissociates in horror just beat the shit out of him until he resets.

the amount of playing abuse for laughs in this series is one of the many emotional strains that led me to drop it the first time.

it’s honestly a contest sometimes who i currently hate most, Marian, you or Labradorito or the Earl. Ech.

‘no idea’ tch. but if you’re saying he implanted his memories into Allen before he died, then...the Earl caught up with the 14th really recently, then?! How long were he and Mana on the run? I totally forgot these details, wow. i suspect some of them will turn out to be false.

...why the fuck are you saying it like this? bastard.

wow CM you almost look spooked by the fact that allen cares more about the possibility that his dad never actually loved him than the prospect of having his mind eaten.

maybe he’d care more about the mind-eating if the 14th was the Earl’s ally instead of planning to use allen as a weapon to kill him? allen is already using himself as a weapon to kill the Earl.

oop, way to get him back on target! “what if i told you you’ll kill the people you care about?”

aaaand cut.

that was like ten chapters’ worth of blather, i need to get more efficient.

Voting Feels Like Date Rape

By Elizabeth Harper

I

“You showed up, so you were asking for it.”

But I didn’t know that was what he was going to do. I thought we were going to have a nice time, get dinner and a movie. He genuinely seemed interested in me, said all the right things. We shared the same views and interests.

“You should have known he was a liar and a manipulator. How stupid are you? Can’t you tell a liar and a manipulator and a charmer when you see one?”

But I so wanted to have a nice time, to believe that someone would actually like me and care about me, listen to me and try to understand my point of view.

“Stupid cow. Dumb bitch.”

I thought he might be someone who would take care of me. Don’t I deserve to be taken care of?

“No one is going to take care of you. Don’t you get that? Slut. Skank. Whore.”

Wait a minute. I’m the wronged party here. I believed what I was told. It didn’t even occur to me that he would do something so awful.

“What? Were you born yesterday? Just off the boat? Didn’t your parents, and the schools, and the church, and daytime television teach you that everything that happens to you is your fault? Don’t you get that?”

But who am I supposed to go with? How am I supposed to tell the truly awful from the somewhat tolerable when everyone is lying and everyone has their own agenda and nobody tells the truth and it’s all just spectacle and manipulation and performance art and a reality that is really unreal because it’s scripted to appeal to the lowest common denominator or some stereotyped demographic, some media consultant’s view of who I am, which doesn't have anything to do with who I am at all? What am I supposed to do when there is no way for me to know the whole truth because everyone is lying and pandering?

“Your questions are above my pay grade, bitch. All I can tell you is, this is democracy. This is freedom. And this is the best you can get.”

Really? This is the best I can get? Well, all I can say is, a girl can dream.

 II

It’s being set up to fail again and again. By clowns in makeup and expensive suits wanting the camera to get their best angle, like creeps who pay for professional headshots to put on their online dating profiles. Lure you in. Don’t they look nice. So clean and well-groomed. But really they’re grooming you…for abuse. Psychopaths testing out how much you’ll put up with, what lies you’ll believe.

It’s your choice, they say. It’s all up to you. You can have what you want as long as you do what I say. Vote for me. Go out with me. I’m everything you want. I’m everything you need. I’m what you’ve been waiting for. Don’t be afraid to reach for what you want, reach for the stars. Vote for me. Pick me. Choose me.

But really you’re the one who is being chosen, like cattle for slaughter, to be ground down into pink slime. A means to their ends. Fodder for the fortunate. Trinkets for terrorists. Notches on a bed post keeping track of all who’ve been screwed. Tally marks on a scorecard for a game you never could win.

III

Extramarital affairs, locker-room talk, trysts in bathroom stalls, stolen kisses, egregious gropes.

Who cares?

Ask me what I want to do to politicians who try to pass laws restricting reproductive rights. I guarantee it’s more brutal and sadistic than any of these dolts could ever imagine. They don’t care about life or the rights of the unborn. Their real agenda is to keep women poor and desperate so they’ll give blowjobs on their arthritic knees for grocery money and work unpaid overtime at Walmart to take care of the children they were raped, guilted, or coerced into having.

 The politicians who force their decisions down women’s throats know which side their toast is buttered on, how to get their joysticks licked, but instead of getting their way by flattery they get it by derision, mansplaining, economic exploitation, forced breeding.

I’d like to chop off their penises and jam them up their assholes while they’re tied to chairs. I would mock them and deride them. Gouge out their eyeballs. Piss in their eye sockets. Hold their noses so they couldn’t breathe while I jammed penises that had been in their assholes in their mouths, down their throats. I want them to know how angry I am. I want them to know my hatred and fear it. I want them to imagine me brutally raping them every time they even think about imposing legislation that affects women.

I hate them all and I want them to die I hate them all and I want them to die

How can I vote for them when I want them to die? How can I vote for them when I know that they lie?

IV

Voting makes me feel so dirty, as if I’m a collaborator in my own abuse. As if I’ve been touched by something unclean, as if I am unclean.

Sometimes there are no good choices.

I understand why Sartre’s existentialist novel is called Nausea. Makes perfect sense. But my favorite story by Sartre that I’ll always remember   because I actually felt nauseated the first time I read it is “The Wall.”

Life will make you dirty. That’s not news. Neither is the fact that government protects its own interests and the interests of money and property. That’s what it’s for. That   is    what    it   has    always   been   for.   “Government by and for the people” is garbage they tell to school children. To inure them to the status quo; to make them grateful for their crappy lives. The people don’t choose the government. The people are scapegoats.

They tell us, “You asked for it. This is what you deserve.”

This is what we tell the victims of abuse and crime. This is what we tell those who are ill and dying.

How we like to pretend we have choices and control. Fucking deluded liars.

 V

Interesting how some will tell you to “hold your nose and vote.” For whom? The lesser of two evils, the best strategy, the best spectacle, the one who will protect your interests, fight your enemies, save the planet. Who is that person? How can we possibly know with the barrage of ideology and propaganda, outright falsehoods, not knowing what’s going on behind the scenes, not fully understanding all the issues and moving parts, an absence of facts and evidence and logical, reasoned, studied points of view, only crap and more crap and lies and crap.

 Your rapist/ abuser will hold your nose so your mouth will open wider as you’re trying to breathe as he crams his cock into your face.

Now we get the political advice to do it to ourselves. Hold your nose and vote. Hold your nose and vote.

Constrict your own air passages. Make it harder for yourself to breathe. Do what you’re told. Help them control you. You will be stuck in scarcity and survival mode.

We berate others on Facebook We get into irritating debates with our friends. Again, an absence of facts of evidence of reason. Name-calling and threats. Yelling in all CAPS. Sharing memes, complicit in the propaganda machine.

These shitheads aren’t worth losing friends over. The spectacle distracts us from our own power. Why are we emotionally invested in the bread and circuses rigged competitions of liars?

 VI

I wonder, if nobody showed up to vote, if the politicians would take the hint, go home and leave us all alone.

VII

Election day is coming up. It makes me sick just thinking about it. My friends on Facebook think it’s important to vote. Or they think there’s something important going on with these pandering psychotic fools.

I don’t have to vote. I could just go to Starbucks and read a book instead.

But my voting place is right next door, at the synagogue. I’m registered to vote because many years ago my husband (now ex) said he would slap me if I didn’t vote in the big presidential election. He wouldn’t really slap me. He isn’t like that. But when you’re married you make your best effort to get along even if that means compromise. He’s socialist vegetarian. I’m anarchist omnivore. We’re still friends. We meet at the Starbucks near his office. Talk for hours. He probably still thinks I should vote.

So I don’t have to vote, as other good friends have reminded me. “If it feels like having an unwanted dick forced into you, you don’t have to do it.”

 But I can’t deny that it’s a choice, to show up or not.

 My father thought people should vote. He’d ask, “Did you vote?”

In the end, everything about this country broke his heart: the government, the “free-enterprise system,” Ronald Reagan. During the Iran-Contra hearings, he’d talk to the TV. “White man speak with forked tongue.” “The problem is you’re speaking out of both sides of your mouth.”

He’d worry if I wasn’t eating. I’m not eating.

I’m drinking. We have that in common. Also, now, high blood pressure. I’m worried I’m also pre-diabetes.

And about what I’m going to do about health insurance.

The other day I called and vented to a friend that I spent the day trying to stretch out my vagina with dildos and sex toys and on the phone trying to figure out what I’m going to do for health insurance.

I’m trying to stretch out my vagina because it’s too small.

I want sex that doesn’t feel like rape.

I want a government that’s not on the take.

Or no government at all. But I know the world isn’t ready. People aren’t ready for that. They don’t know how to be responsible and cooperate all the time without rules and bosses telling them what to do.

I could give up on sex too. But I’m not sure I want to.

If I vote, I will be stretching myself, forcing myself to do something I don’t want to do, don’t believe in, would never choose.

Always the internal debate. To force myself or not. Some things are hard but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn't do them. Sometimes things are hard at first and then the more you do them the easier they get.  

You can get used to all sorts of things, but should you?

Wyatt answers a question (Part1)

Telling me not to so something makes me want to do it even more, DJ. Why Israel? Because when I joined this movement, I notice everyone talks about every other country but no serious discussion on Israel. No one is safe from criticism imo. So how about we do that, DJ? Shall we? Let's have honest discussion, DJ. Because truth is coming. It is obvious that elite 1% hide behind good jewish people to commit atrocities and profit on top of them. Much like America. I have no problem admitting that. We are great, but we are also monsters to much of the world. The elite 1% have created the jewish vehicle and manipulate good Americans and good Israelis, they do not care about the Jews. At. All. They hide behind them. In fact, Honest Jews should be most vocal. This common knowledge outside the schizophrenic propaganda bubble in America. Oh trust me, DJ, they don't care if you Jewish or Moslem or Christian. They have plans for each of you. They will use you. Tarnish your name. They will ride you like vehicle, & when you crash, they will use other vehicle. HRC=vehicle. Jews=vehicle. Christian's are vehicles. It's all pretty simple if you put emotions aside and think from perspective of psychotic king. Tbh, all of this new to me, I've only started looking into this topic since 2018. How the good jewish people aren't outraged is beyond me. I really don't get it. It'll be hard, ofc. It's funny. Some Q people follow like no one's biz and have malfunction when Israel brought up even tho Q says "saving Israel last." People afraid to RT etc but my views way up, so obv ppl curious & reading. Massive redpills incoming. Bend over and say ah. One side note. I like Gorka, but he gets foolish and smeared low follower acct I follow not long ago because he asked legitimate Q about Holocaust. Q everything? Gorka called him "denier." That is what I mean. No hate ever, we want honest discussion & curious why the deflections Also I dont always have opinion on the stuff I write about, just sayin. So if you say anything to me like dumb cuck, I'll laugh. I'm just typing what I see. Even from multiple perspectives sometimes But the Q was about the Holocaust numbers. Fair question. So I looked into it. The outright denial is chidish imo and not serious person. People definitely died, and there were labor camps, but numbers get questionable. Yes, yes they do. You can find examples everywhere. There was a single witness who supposedly was in two concentration camps and is the primary source for about 1/3 of Holocaust deaths. It's a nasty rabbit hole, but you figure out that a lot is stack of exaggerations. One of the most obvious is the fact that the Nazi's crematoriums would have had to burn a body about 10x faster than a modern one and be running 24/7 for years with literal zero downtime. There's a reason why they specifically say "Historians agree that 6 million died" because it's just an agreement, not an actual number based on facts. Have you ever seen the Treblinka Holocaust Memorial? It looks pretty strange for a "memorial". Looks like they just     Holocaust historians claim that during WW2 almost 900,000 people were killed and buried at Treblinka. And they claim that later the Germans dug up and burned the bodies in order to destroy the evidence. In 1999 a team of experts used an $80,000 Ground Penetration Radar (GPR) device to check for evidence that the soil had ever been disturbed as . They found no evidence of any soil disturbance. They covered the field with 17,000 boulders/stones and called it a memorial.Now you can't run any more Ground Penetration Radar tests - not without moving 17,000 boulders (which are set into concrete).  Of course, doing this would be disturbing a sacred Holocaust "memorial" - which would land you in jail.  Mission Accomplished. The whole Holocaust thing and the way the elite 1% use as a vehicle is very strange and fascinating at same time. Are you not at all curious as to why this is the only genocide event that needs legal protection by throwing "deniers" into jail? Or do you just happily overdose on the forced narratives? Surely the elite would never lie to you. They aren't psychopaths or anything. Trust us. Genuine Question. Why do we hear about the Holocaust over and over in movies, TV shows, documentaries, newspapers, books, etc. but almost never hear about the HUNDREDS of other historical genocides? It seems very weird until you figure out the real purpose of all this. Ask yourself one simple question, How in the world does Israel get away with their mass murder, ethnic cleansing and brutal oppression - if we're going to be honest. I have criticism for both sides of that conflict, don't get me wrong. I'm staying on outside looking in though. Why are we very allowed to discuss the idea of white privilege, but forbidden from discussion of the hypothesis of Jewish privilege? Foolish if you don't think it applies the other way too. In three words... Guilt/elites/vehicles. Guilt over Holocaust. Sick, but brilliant, no? The ultimate Guilt trip enables the ultimate in psychological manipulation. You see, Holocaust means that they entitled to special rights - the right to forbid people from discussing their disproportionate wealth & political influence. THE PERFECT VEHICLE. How do you not see? A found that the number one reason Jewish Americans give as the source of their identity as Jews is not race or religion.  Instead when asked "What does it mean to be Jewish?", the number one reason given (73%) was "Remembering the Holocaust". Hm. Some people think of it as a secular pseudo-religion called Holocaust-ianity or some shit (combining the words "holocaust" and "Christianity").  Laws in many U.S. states, known as , mandate teaching to all school children. Vedddy weird folks, no? This indoctrinates kids with the belief that the Jewish people are "unique" in their historical victim-hood.  This puts Jews at the very top of the victim hierarchy. This was the goal from beginning, since widely believed victim narrative gives you political power, being top of victim hierarchy give you the most political power.  That's why holocaust-ianity causes people to believe that Jews deserve special rights that no one else has. They mean well, but man are they slow. For example, holocaust-ianity means wealthy inbred morons can manipulate Israel and somehow hold ethical exemption to create type of racist country, whether citizens realize or not. Laughable. Israel is diverse. I know 4 that live in Haifa and they travel all over. Lefties, righties, buncha groups. If Mr.Trump just stomped out the major criminal networks we wouldn't even be dealing with any of this bullschiff. Regular citizens always the ones who suffer. It's pathetic. Normal chill citizens there can easily do what we are doing. What I'm saying is I condemn both sides of region but also support both sides for defending themselves. Innocent people always caught up in the middle. What I'm really saying is that Israel needs to flush their toilet. Not hard to separate elite agenda from normal people on planet. Some idiots will follow like lefties here. Man made systems. Can be infiltrated and can be used as vehicles to manipulate the masses of genuine good people out there. Also dont forget the horrific stuff Japanese did. And then you have them working with China and selling sensitive information and testing out traitorous surveillance tech. Like Hillary. Who is Rothschild pet. God forbid we should ever cut off their billions and cut aid entirely for now - they might really stab us in the back. Holocaust-ianity gives right to violate principle free speech, so people can be censored etc. Use Dan Cringeshaw, but never trust Dan Cringeshaw. He said it best. Said you're allowed to question everything and criticize every govt except for one lucky winner.  Hint: not USA Currently no other vehicle at time has this special political right to protect the victim-hood narrative against people who might use their free speech rights to question the narrative. Also why Obama talked schmack but still agreed to send billions. Elites are manipulating you. The political power engendered by Holocaust-ianity is so powerful that it must be protected at all costs from the blasphemers, otherwise known as holocaust "deniers." Pathetic boring game by 1%. Make no mistake. Creating J victimhood and using as vehicle is nothing new at all. If you start seriously questioning the narratives, some will malfunction and start melting and end up blocking you or telling me "why they are going to block me now" lolol. It's so childish and weird. All we're doing is talking, asking questions, normal stuff. So scary ... ffs.  Literally only thing I remember learning in Highschool was Holocaust and Rwandan genocide only because chill mf teacher put on movie Hotel Rwanda (really really good btw) about Rwandan genocide. We were taught as if Holocaust was the only genocide. Others not brought up. Why? I got indoctrinated by bs and became bored and 100% distanced from all this. When I saw a lot of the truth and became fascinated and interested in our history and cemented love of country and realized there are shit load of atrocities - feels clown like to treat anyone special. I wish more would sit down and look at things more honestly. Even if you dont know answer. I openly talk about all these topics with whites, blacks, hispanics, asians, my best friend Filipino (Dodi), or other best friend Sikh (Deepak), 99% understand none of this is our fault. That's why the state of Israel denies the Armenian Holocaust.  That's also why the state of Israel denies the Polish Holocaust.  And that's why the state of Israel agrees Ukrainian Holocaust must be downplayed.  Even ADL on video bullied Ukraine into There can be only one **top** victim narrative. We can't even trade positions for like a day. Boring!  And that position must belong to the "most oppressed people in history" - the "chosen people". *barf* The clip showing ADL's triggered bullying is from a documentary called "Defamation". Created by an Israeli Jew. Jews aren't a race, they are a religion Jewish supremacists in some top universities teach that Judaism is only a religion and that Jews are really just white people.  Of course, it's not true and they know it. America's Most Famous Rabbi (as well as Israeli scientists) admitted that Jews are a Race, not a Religion. So why do they teach the "Judaism is only a religion" fallacy? They do this so that they can promote the idea of "White Supremacy" imo. If Judaism is nothing but a religion, that means the concept of ["White Supremacy" can be used as camouflage to cover up the fact that we actually live in a System of Jewish Supremacy. Also you do NOT have to be "Jewish." It's a game. Many people like myself are very new to breaking out of the mind control propaganda.  They've had an almost total lock on the information for many decades.  The internet is allowing a break out of the 'forbidden' information. The Jewish Supremacists are clearly freaking out and trying their best to bring censorship to the internet under the cover of "hate speech" laws. Hopefully enough people can be de-programmed in time to prevent the censoring of more internet. The axis of power in the world is doing tilts and Israel has to start wiggling itself into good position with China. As for the US, state of Israel doesn't give two schiffs about US or its people, you are tax farm and buncha fools who will jump to defense when they tell you to. It's going to be interesting to see how they will attempt to wiggle w Chinese, they are less easily manipulated than the Americans. If you step on toes once they will not forget. Not like US which has gaping whole for ass of the huge arse f'ng it has been getting for years now. You should really talk to some Israelis or read what they write online. A few good websites out there. Israel is more critical of Israel than the US is of Israel. It is hysterical to me. Some Americans think Israel is some hivemind and each person is connected with a string. US "ally" Israel routinely caught sending American troops in to do the fighting they should be doing themselves. Israel is not the home of the chosen people. There are no chosen people. What a strange ridiculous idea. Some conservatives get creepy about it. I see in my replies.  Israelis have own interest in mind, always have. We may think they are our allies, but if somebody else gives them a better deal, they will sell us. That's just a fact. We have no real allies. Doesn't mean we end trade or anything. But we should know where everyone's coming from. It's just weird how the influence is all up in media. Hollywood. Basically 40% of all billionaires. Supreme court. Hell, 2% of population, but 80% of peach mints. Those witnesses were.... you'll never guess. Why would people not question this or at least have honest discussion. This was a brief duckduckgo search that took no more than 7 mins. I was reading article on how Tyler perry owns the movie studio in Atlanta, and how it’s bigger than paramount and dream works and other studios combined. So I started thinking about other influences in Hollyweird. Hollywood, I didn’t know this, made up of more than one movie studio. I’m ignoramus to this stuff. So I duckduck the owners of all the major studios in Hollywood. Boy oh boy, they’re all yeah you guessed it. To me, it's more interesting than anything. I'm just naturally curious. And it wasn’t till 2018 that I was exposed to this how Jewish Supremacists manipulate normal Israelis and normal Americans, and that would explain why America is Israel’s ho. Even that tho, the America is Israel’s biatch thing, I still don’t fully understand the foreign policy we have with them but I hear that phrase thrown out a lot by people who are known as "no bs" people. The inconsistency in the Jewish proportion of heavy hitter business people is fascinating. It really is. I’m still a shit and still learning when it comes to this and our ties with Israel. Over last few weeks I’ve been thinking about religions and how there’s really only three major ones, all with some things in common in their stories but with one major commonality, the holy land: I don’t think any of the religions got it right, something could have happened x amount of years ago in my opinion and the religions are essentially people’s versions of the story, most inconsistencies with a few similarities. How would we know. We wouldn't. Could very well be like a game of telephone. I could be wrong though, it could be something else but as I get older my belief in God grows, and idek how to pray to it or what to read about because I don’t think anyone’s got it right. And I'm a Catholic and believe in God. When your team runs the award-giving committee, you tend to win a lot of awards. That said, I have a lot of respect and admiration for the Jewish team. They've got an 'us-against'-the-world' thing going that encourages them work together and achieve some pretty cool things. Unfortunately, 'Us-against-the-world' also implies you can treat everyone who isn't on your team as an enemy combatant. It's this embattled attitude that generates a kind of ruthless, unsympathetic attitude toward players on the other team. And they are FIRST to call out any other group that adopts same strategy. It blows my mind how many people fail to understand this is a MACRO evolutionary strategy for them and they wish to slowly breed out and exile out races they don't like etc. Using Jewish label as a front. Yep, they even gave the White Helmets a Nobel Peace Prize. That shows the level of propaganda they are able to perpetuate against the American people through their mass media apparatus. Tons of Overwhelming Evidence That Israel Supports !slamic Terrorist Groups in Syria. You never hear about the regular, everyday Jews and it's shameful. I obviously know and talk to poor Jewish peeps, but it’s a thing, it’s such a thing to the point that it’s a stereotype. While stereotypes can be offensive or seem irrational because they cast a wide generalization on a large group of people, they exist for a reason and stick around for the same, so they must be true on some level. Not all catholic priests diddle. I went to 2 years of communion classes as boy at a catholic church with other kids and the priests were awesome. That doesn’t take away from the fact that a shitload of kids did get touched and molested by priests on such a large scale that the Vatican was aware. And I have no problem admitting Catholic Church one of most corrupt organizations in world and is used to manipulate masses. Not all Jews are bad or are out to take out America or care to gain influence through high ranking positions. It's all just a game. But we're the ones that suffer and get manipulated. Literally every Jewish person I've befriended, are normal, ethical people who care about living life through what their religion seems just. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that Jewish people, both male and female hold lots of highly influential and esteem positions in America, a country mostly made up of Christians when it comes to religious demographic, and these positions are dominated by Jewish people at an alarming inconsistent rate. Try reversing role and doing that shite in Israel. They'll kick you out so fast your head will be spinning. I watched interview one time with David Ben Gurion and the interviewer asked the former prime minister about Israel's nuclear program. (Israel has never admitted to having nukes, though there's lot of anecdotal evidence saying they do have nukes...but no country has inspected Israel's program since JFK. JFK was very suspect of state of Israel. So interviewer asks DBG if Israel has nukes and he replies, "We have enemies". So that's the situation. If you see the rest of the world as an enemy, you can do anything, because, it's for your survival. The truth is simply pointing out facts made from observations in data causes lots of childish triggering and weird deflection on this subject because of the deep history. Pointing out the inconsistency in that blacks make up 13-15% of the US population but over 70% of the prison population shouldn’t cause uproar or anger but rather curiosity and request of answers. Most videos of police officers will have you believe most cops use excessive force and that there is war going on between inner city black people and white pool ice officers. Total nonsense. Obviously not all blacks are criminals, but something’s fishy there. For a fact a lot of black people in prison did something wrong that led directly to their incarceration but the numbers simply hint at some sort of fuckery afoot, that leads to people asking questions. Doesn’t take a five minute duckduckgo search to realize how many blacks are doing hard time for ridiculous non violent drug offenses. Same thing goes for the cops. One of most stressful jobs ever, all day people are lying to you, when you show up to a situation it typically doesn’t mean something great is happening, pulling people over to give them tickets must feel like a shitty thing to do when a quota is set by dept. most are good at their job. It’s the few who we see in videos that show a lack of training and or skill under stressful situations. And same goes for this except when these observations are made immediate malfunction cognitive dissonance ensues. The difference with the outrage is they have a decent influence on so many sectors of this country, you can literally be black balled for life from anything. The collective identity makes sure that you think in terms of Group first and prior to anything else. On top of this, Judaism actively teaches infiltration of positions of power, politics, msm, and so on simply in order to better their chances at survival by group based nepotism. Imo the narratives have been twisted by the winners. This where the whole “history is written by the winners” phrase comes in. You have a full understanding of just how powerful the influence is when it comes to people just simply speaking about, or asking genuine questions etc.  

Wyatt @SayWhenLA    

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Week 5: Swamp Ass or Stank Face?

The main plot of this week’s episode is The Battle of the Bayou starring: Taylor, the calculating analytical elitist who knows what she’s talking about most of the time but comes off as unapproachable and rude as she constantly reminds us she has her Masters; and Corinne, the obnoxious narcissist whose every statement is so ridiculously and hilariously false you can’t tell if it’s all a strategic act or if she’s actually just a dumb, spoiled psychopath. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? We once again pick up in the middle of last week’s episode where Taylor is still trying to reason with an unreasonable fame whore, and said fame whore continues to be the absolute worst. 

Interestingly enough, none of the girls actually know what they’re fighting about and no one really cares. Even Alexis, the girl who allegedly wears a sumo suit to go to CVS just for kicks, thinks the two of them need to grow up because we’re not in high school anymore. Someone aptly points out that Corinne has done nothing to Taylor, and Taylor has done nothing to Corinne, yet here we are, watching them talk in circles about nothing. After firing off a few one-liners about Taylor’s stank face, Corinne takes it a step farther and tells Nick that she’s scared of Taylor because she’s not here for the right reasons and “that hurts her...for Nick.” Once she’s finished telling Nick all about Pizzagate and Taylor’s evil ways, Corinne is convinced that Taylor is going home and that she is “hashtag winning,” because nothing is more topical than a 5 year old Charlie Sheen quote. 

And if Corinne hadn’t started this drama Taylor might have actually gone home that night because Nick has never seemed interested in her, but it’s the 2-on-1 week so Taylor lives to see another day. Great.

The Next Bachelorette

After being made to suffer through almost an entire rose ceremony before actually getting her rose, Rachel is *blessed* with this week’s 1-on-1 date which actually seems fun compared to poor Raven who was stuck hanging out at fucking Bella’s soccer game. As they pal around New Orleans eating oysters and beignets, Nick preposterously claims that of all the girls in the house he has the “most explosive chemistry” with Rachel ...

After Nick and Rachel lead a Second Line through the streets of New Orleans, Rachel tells a a story about how the last time she was in NOLA she participated in a parade but it was for a funeral, which is when she decided to live her life to the fullest and...go on the Bachelor? This story, as well as the background on her intimidating federal judge of a father and how Rachel is not used to being vulnerable despite being very emotional (or something like that), serves as the perfect set up for Rachel to be the next Bachelorette. It’s a NO BRAINER at this point, and I’m 100% confident that this is what ABC was hoping for when they “cast” Rachel to be on the show. ABC really wants a diverse star to prove they don’t have a race problem, but she has to be likable (code: not too black), smart (code: have a real job), and beautiful. Coincidentally, Rachel has all of those characteristics and Nick seems into Rachel enough for her to make it to hometowns, leaving me with the hope that, maybe, just maybe, we’re finally going to have a Blachelorette.

Do you believe in ghosts?

The group date this week presents us with a chance to identify the women who say things like “the energy in this room” by taking the girls to the Houmas House, one of the most haunted houses in America that also happens to come with a full bar and a Norman Bates caretaker who goes by the name of Boo. Boo takes the girls on a tour of the old house that is apparently haunted by a young girl name Mae who gets real pissed when you fuck with her dolls. I can’t tell if it’s the fake painting of Mae or the fervor with which Boo demands that no one touch these dolls, but I’m 99% sure that these dolls all belong to Boo, and Mae never existed. A few minutes of research reveals that the house, also known as Burnside Plantation, once housed 750 slaves and was the center of the largest slave holding in Louisiana. 

So it’s pretty safe to say that if any ghosts actually haunted this plantation they wouldn’t be of a little girl worried about her goddamn dolls, but one of the countless slaves that lived and died in captivity. Curiously, nothing about slaves or the plantation are ever mentioned as Boo continues to make a big deal the girls not touching his dolls. 

Once the girls are forced to hang out alone with Nick after Boo takes his leave to try on some of his dead mother’s clothes, they play with an Ouijia board to distract from the crushing reality that they are all wasting their time (and losing money) while looking for love on this show.  And then coincidentally, after Jasmine the vocal non-believer of ghosts touches a statue, a chandelier falls and things start getting spooky! While the girls take turns playing Ghost Hunters, Nick has empty conversations with everyone except Raven*, who accidentally lets slip that she fell in love with Nick while he was rollerskating. This is dubious for many reasons, including the fact that she’s spent maybe 6 hours in total with Nick, and also, it’s Nick. But Raven seems pretty genuine and Nick very surprised, so I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately for Raven, however, Nick and the producers already decided he needed to give the rose to the girl next door, neonatal nurse other video vixen, Danielle M., to reaffirm his intention to continue to string her along. I’m sure Boo was thrilled to see them leave so he could get back to his tea party.

Battle of the Bayou

And now, for the “main event” of the episode: the rumble in the jungle between Taylor and Corinne! In the blue corner, coming in hot with a Masters from Johns Hopkins and a “stank face on her face,” Taylor!! In the red corner, trying so desperately to make every in-camera interview into a gif, Corinne!! Throughout the episode both sides are given their chance to present their case to the Nation of Bachelor. According to Corinne, she is exactly what Nick needs and Taylor is a bitch who thinks shes better and smarter than everyone. According to Taylor, she has her Masters, is more qualified to be a wife, and Corinne is a lying manipulative clown. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Once they reach the depths of the bayou, Nick and the girls are met by the best voodoo priestess ABC could find, Rachel Dolezal 2.0. I was hoping for either an old black blind woman or an Angela Basset type, but beggars can’t be choosers in the swamp I guess. They are soon directed to Ms. Cleo, who reads Taylor’s fortune first and warns her that it’s best not to engage with the evil spirits but to take the high road and rid herself of all this negativity. Now since Taylor has her Masters, she knows that when trolls go low, you go high, but that’s only the right call 71.4% of the time, or when you aren’t living in this alternate reality where nothing is real and everything is upside down. Unfortunately for Taylor, we’re in that alternate reality and even Ms. Cleo can sense what’s coming because the cards don’t lie.

And sure enough, as soon as Corinne gets Nick alone, she starts twisting the truth and painting a false narrative of Taylor as the aggressor and Corinne as the victim. Taylor tries ineffectively to reverse the damage Corinne has done with her fake news and alternative facts, but in this alternate upside down reality, alternative facts are the facts, and we know how this story ends. Instead of picking the girl who is at least a qualified and rationale choice for a wife, he picks the obnoxious train wreck who’s only doing this for fame. Even though I’ve been a Taylor Hater since Day 1, this move is preposterous, and everyone involved knows it. Even Nick is blushing with embarrassment as he and Corinne awkwardly climb back into their boat leaving Taylor to reassess her life choices and the meaning of the world alone in the woods. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Did you notice . . .

** We don’t get to see this until the credits, but Nick’s conversation with Alexis on the group date, centering around her legitimate fear of Nicolas Cage, is amazing. WHY are they showing me clips of Danielle L. telling Nick she maybe is falling for him, or of Danielle M. barely talking at all, and putting these Alexis nuggets of gold at the end of the episode!?! The producers and editors really fucked this season up by not giving her more screen time because she is so much funnier and better in all respects than anything that comes out of Corinne’s mouth. #JUSTICEFORALEXIS 

“Realistically, I don’t see Nick and Corinne getting married at the end of this” is the understatement of the century. 

“If I see a ghost I’m gonna rebuke that thing in the name of Jesus.” 

Of course Danielle L. believes in and is afraid of ghosts. I actually LOLed when she said this date was going to be “a challenge” for her. 

“I had a great time. I did not squeal.” - Nick ....

The real loser in the Battle of the Bayou is Rachel, who is forced to spend an entire day alone in the house with Taylor and Corinne.

Nick is fucking terrible at being the Bachelor. I know I’ve gone on and on about how disingenuous he is, but it’s driving me nuts. Sure, every Bachelor has to say dumb shit like “From Bourbon Street to the Bayou, I can’t imagine a better place to fall in love.” but literally every single time he addresses the girls and in most of his 1-on-1 conversations it feels like he’s reciting Bachelor Canon because he couldn’t be bothered to think of anything real to say at any point along the way.

They say if you get close to the woods you can still hear Taylor whispering “but I have a Masters ...”

Minority Report: Interestingly enough, and despite the fact that they don’t appear to have any connection with Nick whatsoever, Jasmine and Jaimi are still around. I know this is cynical, but between Nick’s lazy approach and coziness with the producers, it feels like he agreed to make sure a few black girls stuck around long enough until the producers / Bachelor Nation could pick one they liked and move forward with the whole Blachelorette campaign. Now I know what you’re thinking: c’mon Jen, that’s racist. Well ... so is The Bachelor.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

voltron s8 liveblogging

episode 1:

well...here it goes...the last season.

no more predictions to look forward to, unless they do a spinoff

i hope they do a marmora spinoff, but we’d never get that

i almost wish they’d done a different opening for the last season

pidge’s pigtails

hunk’s parents are too cuteeeeeeee

allurance! allurance! allurance! i’ve been waiting for this! allurance! allurance! allurance!

yoooo as honerva taken over the galra

romelle! good job getting allura to go on a date with lance!

colleen colleen i love these mama bears

coran is such a clown i love him

allura and pidge omg 

keith’s peptalk is so good

honerva is badass i can’t

“allura, i love you” - lance, the smoothest motherfucker

kolivan smiling is the best thing i’ve ever seen

episode 2:

honerva you tried

this poor woman is searching for her son

this bitch gonna get her fucking cat

you get your cat honerva

omg they knew they were pregnant omggggg

so lotor is mad old

the galra are just space vampire cats

all that quintessence just to keep these two beautiful jackasses alive

little lotor is so cute. i feel like all he wanted was parents who gave a damn.

honerva is so fucking messy lmao

this reminds me of the legend of korra where for all of the last airbender, the fire nation was bad but then tlok for two seasons the water tribe was iffy. now the alteans are bad after the galra. i wonder how allura (and romelle) will deal with this

lotor tried

and i’m damn sure that haggar knew that she was honerva the whole time. she kept getting visions yo

this was a heavy episode

episode 3:

tbh i’m not sure how i feel about atlas and the other pilots

like i say full well that I don’t want a spinoff about them

wowwwww lahn is acting like an ass

part of me wishes that keith looked more galra

allura tries to empathize with everyone but they always throw it back in her face

is this creature ranveig was making?

i think it is

wow it’s actually really intelligent holy shit

ranveig what the hell did you do

keith saving the day and saving all galra like a good boy

was that acxa

listen if i can’t get sheith, i need acxa x keith bc they are so cute together

STOP SPLITTING UP! HOLY SHIT!

all those alteans are being super dumb

episode 4:

i’m just patiently waiting for more acxa

and krolia and kolivan, please

oh shit

what happened to olkarion with honerva’s craziness

giant space bees

that sucks, i mean honerva just totaled that entire planet

if she wants to destroy voltron, why not just go after voltron

i love how pidge and allura are different sides of the same coin. they both can do something “magic-like”. allura can tap into quintessence energy and pidge can access olkarion’s energy. they can both siphon and exchange with this type of science-y magical energy. it’s something the other paladins can’t really do. i think with pidge’s connections to forests/nature/etc. she can do this type of magic energy anywhere. as long as it’s a terrestrial planet of course

i mean the alteans may be a victim of honerva’s madness just like everyone else, but they literally went to another planet to destroy a people (the olkari) that never hurt them. i’m sry but they are the villains in this arc. you could have questioned lotor (AND HONERVA) like romelle did. you could have been eager to question and learn rather than be manipulated. you could have thought for yourselves instead of reacting like a hivemind. honerva keeps talking about how the galra are inherently evil, but here she’s doing this kind of shit. she’s a hypocrite, but she’s my hypocrite.

this season is comprised of a lot of flashbacks

...i want an acxa flashback

episode 5:

ACXA!!!!!!

ACXA WORKS ON THE ATLAS!!!!!!!!

ACXA IS SUCH A PEANUT I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

her cute ass hornssssssssssss

is this zethrid and ezor?

nevermind, i guess

these pirates yo, they need to leave

they have a vendetta against keith

what they hell

it’s gotta be zethrid or ezor

knew it it’s big zee

ezor fucking left zethrid are you serioussssssss wait what

ezor my sweet angel with the eyepatch. she must have been doing undercover missions

it’s good the girl gang is back together, even if narti is rip

episode 6:

honerva is really going this far

omg slav

what the hell is honerva fucking planning

i still don’t get her or lotor tbh

at least zarkon was concrete in what he was after: immortality

right?

honerva just seems like she’s after revenge at this point and that’s it

like where is the woman who was in love with science and the secrets of the universe

zethrid is a good guy now yay

yo that olkari who is mad mischievous is so cute

UNLESS SHE WANTS TO GO INTO THE RIFT AGAIN

or just rip spacetime bc she’s a petty bitch

TIME SPILLAGE

yo all these planets are just dying bc honerva is crazy and petty

JUST TO GET LOTOR OUT omg

“something’s not right” no shit bitch

wow honerva what the hell. he isn’t your son if he’s brainwashed

omg it’s a new castleship????!

episode 7:

he’s so cuteeeeeee. he’s recording everyone

this is so funny

omg he’s getting a cooking show

bae bae is too cute, fucking recording everything

is this this season’s filler because it’s good

space dogggggg

that was an intimate hugging scene

KOLIVAN omgggggggg i love you

i love how everyone aboard the atlas as a thing, a job, a hobby

this documentary omg

allura/lance. allurance!!!!!

hunk is the real MVP omg

he made them desserts!

this was a really good episode

episode 8:

holy shit we’re finally seeing that thing again

part of me thinks that those monsters are controlling honerva too

ALLURANCE!

omg that thing is fucking messing with her

coran is so weird

colleen is the best

allura see through that lotor bullshit

it’s trying to brainwash you

now it’s gonna do lance bullshit

ALLURA JFC

episode 9:

oh allura no

lance is pissed and so am i

gotta be proactive, even if its a whack ass plan

now it’s allura who is being used by honerva

i don’t like this plan

i don’t like this plan but i believe in you, allura

why was keith left behind?

it’s the old paladins

jfc allura in berserker mode

oh i get it. honerva trapped their soulssssss

omggg they meet the other paladins

omggggggggggggg allura and alfor reunited

episode 10:

alfor talks sense

this is one bad trip tbh

it sucks that keith can’t have zarkon with him, that he lacks that connection besides the fact that they are both galran

keith fighting zarkon is so important, he’s the leader zarkon couldn’t be

#keithforemperor2018

omg zarkon uncorrupted

zarkon is such a jock i love him

wow honerva’s ultimate goal is just so asldkjadlksdjsakd idk

“...took you into the mind of a psychopath” - zarkon talking about his wife to keith

damn zarkon

episode 11:

dont trust that wormhole

but honerva looks badass in her armor

if you hate the galra rn why the hell did you marry zarkon, honerva?

eleven episodes and i still don’t have closer with the blades

that’s a lot of people in one cell

COMMANDER OZAR YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

so altea and daibazaal were in the same star system!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALLURA JUST FUCKING TAKE THE ENTITY OUT OF YOU NOW

i’m so tired of these bloody alteans tbh

idiots omg

i love honerva as the villain though

i just think that allura acts out of character sometimes. like she comes off as the most level headed but will be the first one to be ruled by emotions. she should have never taken on the entity

episode 12:

merla was her name. wow. and they just killed off a big name like that

it really honerva versus shiro. i’ve been waiting for this yo

SHAY REAL MVP

the six of them omg i’m in love with this show

KROLIA AND KOLIVAN YAY

that young sendak aljsdlksajdalsdjoiasdjaslasjclkasjl?!??!?!!?

this reality yo

lotor knows that isn’t his mom holy shit

episode 13:

last episode i’m gonna cry

yo this bitch cray

this is wild

pure wild

they’re trying to talk her down omg

*snorts* honerva omg calm down

WHATasdwlakjsdlkasjdlaskdjsaldkjsaldkasjdlksadj

wHAT IS GOING ON

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I DONT KNOW IF I LIKE THIS FOR REAL

keith is emperor omggggggggg he’s gonna be the leader

wowwwwwww

lance omggggggg

that ending yo

Voting Feels Like Date Rape

By Elizabeth Harper

I

“You showed up, so you were asking for it.”

But I didn’t know that was what he was going to do. I thought we were going to have a nice time, get dinner and a movie. He genuinely seemed interested in me, said all the right things. We shared the same views and interests.

“You should have known he was a liar and a manipulator. How stupid are you? Can’t you tell a liar and a manipulator and a charmer when you see one?”

But I so wanted to have a nice time, to believe that someone would actually like me and care about me, listen to me and try to understand my point of view.

“Stupid cow. Dumb bitch.”

I thought he might be someone who would take care of me. Don’t I deserve to be taken care of?

“No one is going to take care of you. Don’t you get that? Slut. Skank. Whore.”

Wait a minute. I’m the wronged party here. I believed what I was told. It didn’t even occur to me that he would do something so awful.

“What? Were you born yesterday? Just off the boat? Didn’t your parents, and the schools, and the church, and daytime television teach you that everything that happens to you is your fault? Don’t you get that?”

But who am I supposed to go with? How am I supposed to tell the truly awful from the somewhat tolerable when everyone is lying and everyone has their own agenda and nobody tells the truth and it’s all just spectacle and manipulation and performance art and a reality that is really unreal because it’s scripted to appeal to the lowest common denominator or some stereotyped demographic, some media consultant’s view of who I am, which doesn't have anything to do with who I am at all? What am I supposed to do when there is no way for me to know the whole truth because everyone is lying and pandering?

“Your questions are above my pay grade, bitch. All I can tell you is, this is democracy. This is freedom. And this is the best you can get.”

Really? This is the best I can get? Well, all I can say is, a girl can dream.

 II

It’s being set up to fail again and again. By clowns in makeup and expensive suits wanting the camera to get their best angle, like creeps who pay for professional headshots to put on their online dating profiles. Lure you in. Don’t they look nice. So clean and well-groomed. But really they’re grooming you…for abuse. Psychopaths testing out how much you’ll put up with, what lies you’ll believe.

It’s your choice, they say. It’s all up to you. You can have what you want as long as you do what I say. Vote for me. Go out with me. I’m everything you want. I’m everything you need. I’m what you’ve been waiting for. Don’t be afraid to reach for what you want, reach for the stars. Vote for me. Pick me. Choose me.

But really you’re the one who is being chosen, like cattle for slaughter, to be ground down into pink slime. A means to their ends. Fodder for the fortunate. Trinkets for terrorists. Notches on a bed post keeping track of all who’ve been screwed. Tally marks on a scorecard for a game you never could win.

III

Extramarital affairs, locker-room talk, trysts in bathroom stalls, stolen kisses, egregious gropes.

Who cares?

Ask me what I want to do to politicians who try to pass laws restricting reproductive rights. I guarantee it’s more brutal and sadistic than any of these dolts could ever imagine. They don’t care about life or the rights of the unborn. Their real agenda is to keep women poor and desperate so they’ll give blowjobs on their arthritic knees for grocery money and work unpaid overtime at Walmart to take care of the children they were raped, guilted, or coerced into having.

 The politicians who force their decisions down women’s throats know which side their toast is buttered on, how to get their joysticks licked, but instead of getting their way by flattery they get it by derision, mansplaining, economic exploitation, forced breeding.

I’d like to chop off their penises and jam them up their assholes while they’re tied to chairs. I would mock them and deride them. Gouge out their eyeballs. Piss in their eye sockets. Hold their noses so they couldn’t breathe while I jammed penises that had been in their assholes in their mouths, down their throats. I want them to know how angry I am. I want them to know my hatred and fear it. I want them to imagine me brutally raping them every time they even think about imposing legislation that affects women.

I hate them all and I want them to die I hate them all and I want them to die

How can I vote for them when I want them to die? How can I vote for them when I know that they lie?

IV

Voting makes me feel so dirty, as if I’m a collaborator in my own abuse. As if I’ve been touched by something unclean, as if I am unclean.

Sometimes there are no good choices.

I understand why Sartre’s existentialist novel is called Nausea. Makes perfect sense. But my favorite story by Sartre that I’ll always remember   because I actually felt nauseated the first time I read it is “The Wall.”

Life will make you dirty. That’s not news. Neither is the fact that government protects its own interests and the interests of money and property. That’s what it’s for. That   is    what    it   has    always   been   for.   “Government by and for the people” is garbage they tell to school children. To inure them to the status quo; to make them grateful for their crappy lives. The people don’t choose the government. The people are scapegoats.

They tell us, “You asked for it. This is what you deserve.”

This is what we tell the victims of abuse and crime. This is what we tell those who are ill and dying.

How we like to pretend we have choices and control. Fucking deluded liars.

 V

Interesting how some will tell you to “hold your nose and vote.” For whom? The lesser of two evils, the best strategy, the best spectacle, the one who will protect your interests, fight your enemies, save the planet. Who is that person? How can we possibly know with the barrage of ideology and propaganda, outright falsehoods, not knowing what’s going on behind the scenes, not fully understanding all the issues and moving parts, an absence of facts and evidence and logical, reasoned, studied points of view, only crap and more crap and lies and crap.

 Your rapist/ abuser will hold your nose so your mouth will open wider as you’re trying to breathe as he crams his cock into your face.

Now we get the political advice to do it to ourselves. Hold your nose and vote. Hold your nose and vote.

Constrict your own air passages. Make it harder for yourself to breathe. Do what you’re told. Help them control you. You will be stuck in scarcity and survival mode.

We berate others on Facebook We get into irritating debates with our friends. Again, an absence of facts of evidence of reason. Name-calling and threats. Yelling in all CAPS. Sharing memes, complicit in the propaganda machine.

These shitheads aren’t worth losing friends over. The spectacle distracts us from our own power. Why are we emotionally invested in the bread and circuses rigged competitions of liars?

 VI

I wonder, if nobody showed up to vote, if the politicians would take the hint, go home and leave us all alone.

VII

Election day is coming up. It makes me sick just thinking about it. My friends on Facebook think it’s important to vote. Or they think there’s something important going on with these pandering psychotic fools.

I don’t have to vote. I could just go to Starbucks and read a book instead.

But my voting place is right next door, at the synagogue. I’m registered to vote because many years ago my husband (now ex) said he would slap me if I didn’t vote in the big presidential election. He wouldn’t really slap me. He isn’t like that. But when you’re married you make your best effort to get along even if that means compromise. He’s socialist vegetarian. I’m anarchist omnivore. We’re still friends. We meet at the Starbucks near his office. Talk for hours. He probably still thinks I should vote.

So I don’t have to vote, as other good friends have reminded me. “If it feels like having an unwanted dick forced into you, you don’t have to do it.”

 But I can’t deny that it’s a choice, to show up or not.

 My father thought people should vote. He’d ask, “Did you vote?”

In the end, everything about this country broke his heart: the government, the “free-enterprise system,” Ronald Reagan. During the Iran-Contra hearings, he’d talk to the TV. “White man speak with forked tongue.” “The problem is you’re speaking out of both sides of your mouth.”

He’d worry if I wasn’t eating. I’m not eating.

I’m drinking. We have that in common. Also, now, high blood pressure. I’m worried I’m also pre-diabetes.

And about what I’m going to do about health insurance.

The other day I called and vented to a friend that I spent the day trying to stretch out my vagina with dildos and sex toys and on the phone trying to figure out what I’m going to do for health insurance.

I’m trying to stretch out my vagina because it’s too small.

I want sex that doesn’t feel like rape.

I want a government that’s not on the take.

Or no government at all. But I know the world isn’t ready. People aren’t ready for that. They don’t know how to be responsible and cooperate all the time without rules and bosses telling them what to do.

I could give up on sex too. But I’m not sure I want to.

If I vote, I will be stretching myself, forcing myself to do something I don’t want to do, don’t believe in, would never choose.

Always the internal debate. To force myself or not. Some things are hard but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn't do them. Sometimes things are hard at first and then the more you do them the easier they get.  

You can get used to all sorts of things, but should you?