#I LOVE THIS WOMAN SOOOO MUCH ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY BRO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

okneiljos · 5 years

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reasons the umbrella academy is my new favorite show (and why i have seven new children):

• they are all my actual children with whom i fell in love with instantly like i instantly adopted them the moment they were introduced bc when i saw klaus i was like “uwu i luv” and with allison i was “A WOMAN” with vanya i was “tALENT” and so on

• klaus

• the dance montage in ep 1 was literally one of the most iconic moments i have ever seen in my entire life

• bc luther literally had just accused his entire family of murdering their father and then he goes into his room to his moutain of records and is like “hmm what will possibly mend this? what can bring us closer as a family? what can make this better? what can make me feel better” and the choice of song has me in an early grave bc his solution was to start dancing his problems away and honestly same bc he then does it AGAIN later on

• number five’s badass killing of like 5 grown ass men

• the fact that he is a 60 year old man inside a 13 year old body and i, too, am a teenager with the intellect and soul of a senior citizen

• also the fact that the first thing he does when he gets back is makes himself a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich and that was what vanya made for him when he was away so he wouldn’t come back and be lost :’)

• klaus in the skirt “is that my skirt?” and the fact that klaus’ response to this is “its a little dated...but it airs out the bits” and fives comment on it im gone

• ALL OF KLAUS’ CRACKHEAD MOMENTS I LOVE MY CHILD

• i’m sorry but literally all of his comments sent me

• the run boy run scene was so cinematic holy crap like whoever did the soundtrack and editing did such a good job bc the scenes were cut together so well and the flashbacks and the music went perfectly with the scenes like ???? it was so amazing

• klaus trying to be a Good Big Bro and protec five from the fight between luther and diego and five just slaps his hand away

• the funeral scene where everyone is like “plz stop” and then klaus is like “hIT HIM!” had me gONE and this man showed up with a pink umbrella while everyone else had perfectly reasonable mourning umbrellas

• also klaus’ choice of clothing throughout the entire series will truly haunt me because he is a Disaster Gay™️ if i’ve ever seen one but he’s the best kind like the skirt, those low-rise leather pants with that top PLUS the cardigan like... sweetie

• bEN PLZ DONT GET ME STARTED

• ben could’ve left or gone ANYWHERE BUT HE STAYED WITH KLAUS PLZ IM BOUTA CRY YALL

• the scene where luther and diego are trying to get into the van, like once wasn’t enough but they did that shit AGAIN and looked at each other like -_- and finally luther has the audacity to say “i’m number one” im skdkskdk

• the fact that they fight all the time but the moment one of them are threatened they all bring the thunder and the claws come out and it’s totally on and i’m like wow uwu, like even though they are estranged they really do love each other

• the office scene with five and klaus im DONE WITH MY LIFE “what about my consent”

• during the fight scene in the house klaus is oblivious and is dancing around in a bath towel (with one in his hair as well) and that was so funny to me it got even funnier when ben poked his head in and tried to warn him like “klaus, our whole family is about to be slaughtered, klaus hello, klaus gunfire is raining down, okay whatever” and then he leaves, presumably to watch over them and the intruders and then klaus gets kidnapped but that had me

• the torture scene “there’s nothing like a little strangulation to get the blood flowing” plz klaus i can only handle so much wheezing before my lungs give out

• also “plz make him stop talking” like it was becoming torture for the torturers torturing him im—

• the ice cream truck scene which is made 100000% better bc klaus can’t/doesn’t know how to drive and yet diego is like “GO FASTER!!” and cute lil ben is like “wheeeeee” im so gone for this family man

• the scene with allison and luther in the booth had me in my feels + on the phone how you could hear the “SPACE BOY” that right there was really freaking cute

• diego with the “guns are for sissy’s, real men throw knives!” for some reason this just really stuck with me and like then i realized like that’s his entire brand in life... just knife boi.

• the entire bowling alley scene was the funniest thing to me skskakskxi “ur two dads” “i’d rather chew off my own foot” “maybe they’re here for kenny’s birthday party”

• diego’s stutter coming back during times of stress really made me so sad and like upset and i wanted to hug him

• vanya’s feelings of sorrow and isolation made me feel so sorry for her and then this dude comes in and uses and takes advantage of her but she shouldn’t have done that to her sis bc they were both like what 7 when their father made allison do that ??

• klaus’ battle for sobriety throughout the entire series he is so strong <3

• klaus’ power up in the last ep akskdjdj yes sweetie you get yours

• ben is literally the biggest bean ever but he also socks klaus in the face bc he’s like “i need u to stop being stoopid for two seconds”

• “shut up... said with love” and the “drop dead.” gasp “low blow” i love their relationship so much it literally meant everything to me bc ben is klaus’ biggest fan and like i cry thinking about that ya kno

• how allison literally diSPATCHED RAPER FACE GUY IN VANYA’S APPARTMENT sis knew something wasn’t right

• hazel literally eating everything in sight identified with me on a spiritual level

• diego and klaus little talk and ride along bc it was just so pure like diego loves his family soooo much even tho sometimes (like luther) he says mean shit he will do whatever is necessary to protect/save them

• klaus sets the table for himself, five, luther, AND ben i’m kdksk crying im crying is what im doing ok im just gonna be in the corner and the others don’t even mention it like ?? kskaak do they not notice it or do they know

• vanya’s badass white suit and violin change at the end there like ICONIC much

• vanya flipping that car, her at the show like im shaken to my core here skakaoso

• five just like five man “i was going to ask what you were doing but then i realized i don’t care.” like he’s such a mood.

• klaus and five are my biggest moods,, the biggest crackhead and the biggest narcissist

• THE ENDING AKSKDIDJSK I NEED MORE GIVE ME MORE OF MY CHILDREN PLZ PLZPLZPzlzzpzlzl

(there is so much more i could say but i wrote this in like 20 minutes off the top of my head if you can think of anything else plz let me know, also i tried to put this in some semblance of order bc when i wrote it it wasn’t ordered at all so sorry if it’s a mess, also sorry about the grammatical errors i know there surely are that i didn’t catch - not including the ones i did on purpose)

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willow-salix · 4 years

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I'm too dumb to live sometimes. I wrote this about two months ago and only realised now that I neglected to post it, even though I thought I had. Duh!

Soooo, someone has to teach the witch how to fly... Selene is out of her comfort zone, she's not confident and she's over dramatic. Poor John. Part of the series on Ao3.

"Brains just informed me that Selene's car is ready for a test ride and that means someone has to teach her how to actually fly the thing."

"Teaching a Witch to fly, can't be that hard," Scott joked.

John snorted. "You do remember how we met, right?"

"Ah, yeah, good point."

John nodded. "So, who's volunteering? And make sure she doesn't find out, I don't want her panicking and stressing herself out over it, you know what she was like when you were overseeing her gravity training."

"So you're just going to spring it on her?"

"That's the plan."

"You're a braver man than I am, bro."

"Or just stupid," Gordon helpfully added. From where he sat in one of Three's launch chairs he had been invisible to John.

John closed his eyes briefly, oh, this wasn't good. Gordon was usually firmly on Selene's side in almost everything, not always because he agreed with her but because he feared and loved her in equal parts, that and he always found it hilariously funny to watch her exploding at people.

"Gordon, you cannot tell her about this, she thinks she's got plenty of time before it's ready."

"Fine, but let me just say one thing?"

John sighed, ready to promise anything to ensure his silence. "Sure."

"Not it."

Scott, realising that his second youngest brother might actually be the smartest of them all followed his lead. "Not it!"

"Scott, really?"

Scott grinned. "You're the stupid one, not me. Besides, she's your fiancée, you do it."

"Do you think Parker…"

"He and Penelope are attending the opening of that new underwater hotel for the week."

"Virgil?"

"Busy with Two's bimonthly tune up, only leaving for emergencies."

"Kayo?"

"Can you actually imagine Kayo having the patience to teach anyone anything?"

Crap, he was right. That only left…"Alan?"

"Would break if she yelled at him and he'd let her get away with not even trying. Nope, this one is all on you."

Shit. He might be a little inexperienced when it came to relationships but even he knew the two golden rules, never agree that her butt looked big in those jeans even if it appeared she has a beach ball stuffed down her pants and never, ever, teach her to drive. He just hoped he wasn't suddenly single by the end of the lesson.

"I guess I'm on my way, ask Grandma to take over monitoring duty will you?"

***

Selene grabbed her phone when it pinged up a message, surprised but very pleased to read it. John, as always, was a man of few words 'I'm outside'.

She snatched up her jacket as she ran out the door, clattering down the stairs. It had been a long week filled with back to back appointments for her and she was more than ready for a break. She'd been about to call Virgil and request a pickup but it seemed her man had other ideas. Honestly, much as she loved his family, the thought of having a night, just the two of them in her peaceful little apartment seemed like heaven.

She swung open the front door and abruptly stopped. There was her car, her cute little car with its sleek shape and shiny black paint job and her spaceman behind the wheel. That meant…oh crap.

The door opened and he unfolded his long frame from the driver's seat, stepping out of the car.

"Is Brains finished with her, is she done?"

"Hello to you too."

She pulled him in for a quick kiss. "Hello gorgeous man."

"That's more like it.. Now, are you ready to take her for a spin?"

Her eyes widened as she stuck her head inside, checking out the modifications. Where she had previously had nothing more complicated than heater dials and a radio she now had something that looked like it had been ripped out of the Enterprise and shoehorned into her dashboard.

She wasn't a bad driver, just a simple one, and one that was used to roads and signposts, not sky and 'turn left at the third cloud'. She could get lost going to the bathroom, she wasn't good at picking out landmarks. That was why she often drove to her witchy venues and flew the last mile for appearances sake.

How had she ever allowed herself to be talked into this? She glanced over her shoulder at John who was none too subtly checking out her behind where she was bent over. Oh yeah, that was why. She had the sexist Space Hunk who happened to live, part time anyway, on a secret island that could only be reached by air or sea, and she was not that good a swimmer.

"Erm…"

Her face was a picture. She might go out of her way to project an image of being confident and fully in control of everything, but now he knew different. She was sensitive, loving, kind, and strong, but also dramatic with an overly active imagination and a tendency to go with worse case scenario.

He'd also realised that, as much as she tried to deny it, she too suffered from the occasional crisis of confidence and often believed that she would do something wrong. She'd confided in him late one night, while lying close together in his bunk on Five, that an ex boyfriend had managed, over the course of their year long relationship, to convince her that she was pretty much useless at everything she did so there wasn't any point in trying. Much as she was helping him to see that he was more than good enough, he was doing the same for her.

"You can do this."

She pulled a face, clearly not believing him at all.

"Can you at least get us somewhere far enough away that I won't endanger human lives?"

"There's the confident woman I know and love."

She stuck her tongue out at him and climbed into the back, refusing to give him the chance to argue.

Rolling his eyes he got back behind the wheel. Clearly this was going to be a long day.

***

"It's really simple, Brains made sure to keep it as familiar as possible for you."

Selene had managed to work herself up into a nice panic on the drive out of London, imagining all the horrible ways in which she could potentially kill them both and now she couldn't even begin to think straight. His calm tone,which usually made her feel better, was now sounding patronising and annoyed to her ears and it was pissing her off.

"Nice to know that everyone thinks I'm a complete idiot who couldn't handle anything too mentally taxing."

"No one thinks that, you specifically said that you wanted the flying equivalent of a go cart. Would you have wanted anything as complicated as one of our crafts?"

"Of course not, contrary to popular belief I do not have a death wish."

He wisely ignored that and continued his instructions.

"The pedals work exactly the same as they did before, just stop and go and steer with the wheel."

He leant closer from his seat in the back and pointed to the first of a new row of buttons. "The blue one is drive, the green one is fly, that will realign the wheels and lift her off the ground to a height of around two meters. Only when flight is engaged will the steering wheel allow you to pull up on it to go higher and push down to go lower."

"Does it still turn left and right?" her tone was sickeningly sweet but ever so slightly dangerous. John was a wise man and yet again chose to adopt the mantra of 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all'.

"The yellow button engages the autopilot and the course is set by inputting the location into that GPS there." He pointed to the upgraded screen that had replaced her old navigation system. "The moment you press that one the autopilot will take over and all you have to do is keep an eye on the sky and make sure you don't run into anything."

"What does the red one do?"

"That one is multipurpose, it's your stop and land button. If you're landing press it while losing height and the sensors built into the undercarriage will take over, levelling you out and realigning the wheels ready to drive and bringing you to the ground safely. If you want to land and keep driving press the blue button after the red, if you want to stop press the red a second time. That will shut off the engine once you come to a stop."

"OK…"

"That didn't sound convincing, sweetheart."

"No, no I think I've got it. Emphasis on the word, think."

"Want to try just starting her up and cruising on the ground for a few minutes and then we can try the skies?"

Selene visually mapped out the interior again, trying to remember everything he'd said.

"OK."

"You can do this, it's really simple."

"Yeah, so you keep telling me, because that's about all I can handle."

He frowned, where had that come from?

"Of course it's not, you are anything but simple."

"So I'm complicated and difficult?"

"No! You're wonderful and unique." How had it turned into this? She was taking everything he said wrong. "Just give this a try."

She took a deep breath and mentally smacked herself for being such an cow. She wasn't mad at him, although she would have appreciated a little warning before he threw her in the deep end and expected her to swim, she was just so scared of fucking up. They were all so competent, so confident and experienced, in comparison she was, a nothing. Boringly normal family, average childhood and an affinity with nature, not machine. She'd never been one to take to technology easily, machines and how they worked pretty much baffled her on a daily basis. She was an intuitive person, one that interacted with the energies of the earth, and that didn't work with machinery. It had no life force, no energy of its own, no soul.

If she was honest with herself she knew that with very little effort she could easily become a burden and a problem to them all. Only she could manage to find the love of her life by needing rescue. The last thing she wanted to do was become a target for them or to get in the way with her inexperience and lack of skills.

Compared to the other females on the team she was next to useless. Penelope was a brave, beautiful, skilled, connected woman that could handle anything. Kayo was a highly trained, arse kicking machine that had the brains as well as beauty. She flew her craft with the kind of skill that Selene couldn't even begin to imagine let alone pull off. Grandma Tracy might lack culinary skills but she made up for it in a million other ways, strength oozing from her pores. Whereas she was a little too curvy to be fashionable, had no real talents that she could speak of and had never been to university. She was nothing special.

And the boys? They were all high flying, high impact, overly intelligent prodigies and she was a nothing. She didn't deserve any of the help, support and acceptance that they had given her. One day John was going to wake up and realise exactly what he was missing out on. Realise that he had settled for average when he deserved amazing.

He was looking at her so strangely, like he couldn't understand her or her actions, and she couldn't blame him. He'd made the effort to drive her car, pick her up and was trying to help her and she was being a raging bitch.

"I got this shit." She pressed her thumb against the key lock and the car engine rumbled into life.

***

"I really don't got this."

The car's front grill was lodged in the mud and she was ready to give up five minutes into the lesson. How could you get up and down mixed up? Somehow she had managed it.

She'd been driving along the grassy ground of the hillside he'd parked them on and had managed to remember that green was fly only by association of green being the colour of Two and that thing flew. OK, so maybe simple was better for her.

She'd yelped when the cars wheels had shifted and rotated on their axis, just as FAB 1's did, pointing to the ground and each becoming their own little jet engine.

The car had lifted off the ground by a few meters as promised and John had calmly reminded her that now the wheel would work for the up and down not just the left and right and to go higher she had to go up.

That's all well and good, but her version of up was apparently slightly different to his. He meant she should take hold of the wheel and pull it towards her which would lift the wheel up. She in a classic comedy move of not being able to open a door, mistook pull, for push.

She pushed up when she should have pulled down. The result, a less than spectacular nose dive into the ground.

"It's OK, it's fine, you can fix this. Just put her in reverse and she should have enough pull to yank herself out, she's not that deep."

She moved the car into reverse and eased her foot down on the pedal but the car didn't move.

"No, you have to put her in drive mode first."

"You should have said that!"

"Sorry, I thought it was obvious."

"Well it wasn't."

"So I see."

She tossed a glare over her shoulder at him, her hand hovering over the control panel.

"Blue button."

"I knew that!"

"Did you though?"

Honestly she hadn't, she'd been about to hit the yellow. Why hadn't the genius that was Brains thought to label the fucking things?

She pushed the blue button and felt the wheels shift back down.

"OK…reverse." She pushed the gear stick back into reverse and eased her foot slowly down on the pedal. The wheels gripped a little but then span out, sending up a stream of mud and grass behind them.

"Shit!"

"It's OK, lets try to override it. Put her in fly again, green button-"

"I got it, I got it, green like two that flew."

He gave her a look that said he was seriously debating her sanity at that moment. Honestly she was surprised she hadn't seen that look more often.

"Green button, wait until the wheels are up, then shove the steering wheel up as far as it will go and boot it."

"Shove and boot, those are highly technical terms…"

She did as she was told, pulling at the steering wheel, which didn't move.

"It won't pull until the wheels are fully up, just give it a moment, don't be so impatient."

She gritted her teeth and let the wheel go, waiting until the wheels fully lifted, noticing then that a small light above the green button blinked on. Well that would have been handy to know too, why didn't this thing come with a manual?

"Alright, now hard pull and foot down, Sel."

She followed his instructions, yanking the steering wheel hard as she slammed her foot down on the pedal. The car's butt took a dive but it's nose shot up, as did the car, launching itself into the air.

She screamed and he barely resisted the urge to do the same when she panicked and let go of the wheel, which retracted, dropping them sharply.

"Hold the wheel, Selene!"

She grabbed it and held it in place.

"OK, there's no need to yell at me!"

Had he yelled? He never yelled. How did she do that? How did she always manage to make him lose control?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout. Just level out a bit. Follow the Altitude Indicator."

"The what now?"

He sighed.

"You see that thing on the dash?" he pointed to what looked like half a snow globe with a line across the middle and a cross lower down. He waited until she nodded. "That cross is us, so you need to correct her until the cross is in the middle, lined up on the horizon line."

"Again, that would have been handy to know before we took off."

"It's standard in every craft, I assumed you knew what it was."

"Then just keep assuming and assume that I'm dumb and spell shit out like you're teaching the ABC."

He rolled his eyes at her dramatics. "You aren't dumb."

"Dude, did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"No?"

"Don't answer a question with a question, that does not make it better!"

He wisely shut up and simply pointed to the horizon line.

She gave the steering wheel an experimental pull and saw the cross move. When she went left it went left, the same with right, which was so blindingly obvious but she still felt like she had to test it. Following the cross she managed to level it out.

"Good. That's great, but you might want to take us just a tiny bit higher…" the top of a rather large fir tree scraped their undercarriage.

"How the hell am I supposed to know how high to go or when I reach it? What's my limits? I need limits dammit!"

"It's the new gauge next to your upgraded speedometer. You see the numbers there?" She did, they were high, scarily high. "That's in feet, 5 thousand each line. Commercial planes and our crafts aim for between 35 thousand and 40 thousand feet. Anything about 50 is in the red line there and too high. You need to go between 10 and 15, higher if you're going long distance, maybe around 20."

"That's…that's seriously high. Very very scarily high." according to the new needle they weren't even registering as having left the earth and it already felt too high for her. She'd never be able to do this on her own.

"You've been higher."

"Not when I'm not in your tin can or with someone else driving. On a broom we barely clear the treetops, it's too cold, too windy and too exposed."

"Well you're about to go higher now, because if you don't pull up we'll hit that Tor up ahead."

The mass of rocks, piled high, had come out of nowhere and she jumped, yanking on the wheel, just managing to miss crashing into them like a bowling ball into pins.

"I can't do this. I can't do this…" she chanted under her breath, knuckles white in the wheel. She needed to get down. She pushed forward on the wheel, dropping their nose sharply and punched at the red button. Red meant stop. Stop was good. Stop was needed.

The wheels came down and thankfully the sensors took over as she smacked at the button again. They hit the ground with a teeth jarring bump as she had forgotten, or never been told, to slow down.

As soon as the engine died she threw open the door and hauled her shaking self out of the car.

John followed straight after, catching up with her.

"Selene what's wrong? This isn't like you."

"Yes, it is! This is totally like me. I freak out over unfamiliar things, things that I can't control and don't understand."

"What's not to understand, it's simple-"

"No. It's not simple. Not to me anyway. Maybe to you because you all grew up like this. But I didn't, I'm different, I'm not part of your Tracy life where you have to pull out a plane to go to the shop! I am not a part of this!"

"Of course you're part of our life."

She closed her eyes, praying for patience. It was freezing cold out on the moors of Yorkshire, the wind howling across the hillside to whip the hair back from her face and she huddled into her coat, arms wrapped around herself, for comfort as much as warmth.

"I didn't mean it like that." She knew that she was a part of his life, or all their lives.

"Then what did you mean, I don't understand?"

"Of course you don't. Because you can't imagine what it's like to not know all of this stuff. If you've never flown before, never had anyone show you all that you need to know, never had someone actually instruct you on it, you don't know. It's not an automated download to your brain. It might come naturally to all of you, but let's just face facts here, I'll never be like that. I'll never be one to hop into a craft and instinctively know what to do or how to even start the thing. I'll never be good enough."

"Never be good enough?" Her last words stuck out to him more than anything else she said.

"You really do focus on the most insignificant parts, don't you?"

He felt like he should be insulted by that. To him, her feeling like she wasn't good enough was the most important thing. Thankfully he wasn't one to react to a negative situation without assessing everything first. He mentally rewound her words and realised that she was right. He had just expected her to know what to do. He was used to working and interacting with people that operated their kind of machines on a daily basis, they were all trained in each others crafts, at least the basics enough to get them out of trouble. He had forgotten to tell her what most of the instruments were because they were second nature to them. A five minute run down of any new modifications Brains made to any of their crafts and they were good to go. Learn by doing, that was the Tracy way. Sometimes he forgot that she wasn't a Tracy, she hadn't been brought up the way they had been. She was different.

He didn't know what to do or how to handle this situation. He could clearly see that she was struggling, likely on the verge of a full meltdown. She was always so good at comforting and helping others but didn't seem to be able to be kind to herself.

He couldn't leave her like that, he had to do something. He knew that whenever she didn't know what to do she deployed her secret weapon, a healing hug.

He approached her like one would a scared dog, avoiding the teeth, and enfolded her in his arms.

"I love you."

She remained stiff in his arms for a few moments but then sagged into him, her arms going around his middle.

"I love you too, but you're annoying."

"I know. So are you."

She didn't dignify that with an answer, just let him hold her for a few minutes.

"Selly, talk to me. Why would you think you aren't good enough?"

She sighed, nuzzling her cold nose into his neck, feeling him shiver in response.

"I don't know. You're just all so perfect at everything."

He snorted at that, they were far from perfect, especially Gordon who managed to find the widest range of ways to screw up.

"Go on."

"I just…i just don't get how I'm your type of person. We have zero in common, I don't fit into your world, I'm not a super spy or an awesome astronaut, I have no skills to offer the team at all. I'm the definition of dead weight."

"We don't see you that way, you're one of us now. You don't need to be like everyone else, we have enough spies and rocket flyers, your skills are so much more important."

"Yeah right."

"Yes, right." He gave her a small squeeze for emphasis. "I like that we don't have the same interests, the same hobbies and job, it means we have something different to talk about. And as for not being my type, well I've been with my type and it didn't work out, as I'm sure you have."

She had to agree with that, sticking to your own kind often left a lot to be desired.

"But then, if a beautiful, loving, highly skilled woman isn't my type, then I don't know what is. I might not have been looking for you, but I think you fit me perfectly."

"And I might not have been looking for a gorgeous, intelligent and highly skilled spaceman, but I think you fit me too."

"Often what we want and what we actually need are two different things, but I know I'll always want and need you."

"So you don't think I'm stupid for not getting this whole flying thing?"

He shook his head. "Not at all, it's not your fault if you don't already know how to do it. We just need to start with the basics and this time I'll make sure I explain everything I'm doing and you need to make sure you ask about anything you aren't sure of."

"I can do that."

"Let's try this again, shall we? But this time we'll do it a little different."

***

"I can't believe I'm actually doing it!"

Selene was perched on his lap, both of them sharing the driver's seat. It was unconventional but was working well.

He'd been great at explaining everything once he realised that she knew next to nothing about any of it. He'd gone through every instrument on the panel, explaining its use and when to use it, including the silver button that would cloak the car should she ever be followed or need to be invisible, something she insisted on calling Ghost-mode. The black button was there to activate a protective shield around the car should she ever need it. Brains had also resprayed the car with anti-scratch, extra tough paint that would stop most damage aimed her way.

He'd then started the car and talked her through everything as he did it, so she could see it in action, making sure that she understood. They were both controlling their moods and had managed not to snap at each other again.

He'd taken the car up and down twice, slowing down his actions so she could register them, then he'd made her try, covering her hands with his for support and reassurance. She'd talked her way through everything, and he found that he only had to correct her once before they were safely up above the tree line.

Now that he was right there with her and able to take over in the event of an emergency, she had relaxed and felt confident enough to climb higher, reaching the desired altitude and begun to cruise.

Once she was comfortable with that he had encouraged her to have a little fun, moving this way and that, feeling the air currents and working with them rather than fighting against them.

He'd then instructed her on landing, which she managed to do the second time as smoothly as if she'd been flying all her life.

Next he taught her how to program a route and engage the autopilot once they were high enough. That had been easier for her and she had relaxed back against his chest, keeping an eye open for any potential obstacles or dangers though there was nothing of note.

They'd picked a route that was less than three hundred miles, something that took a matter of minutes with her upgraded engine, and had looped them in a big circle to come back to their original spot. Once again she landed perfectly, having gotten the hang of the controls now. It really was quite easy once she had gotten over her fear of the unknown and had it explained to her in a way that made sense.

Their last lesson was to use the GPS to get them back to her apartment, which she followed easily now she was on the ground again. He had vacated the driver's seat and sat in the back for the return journey, content to simply watch her and ponder over her words.

He didn't understand how she could possibly think she was stupid. She was a fast learner and had gotten into the swing of things quickly once she had felt supported and everything had been explained to her. She was very much like him in the fact that she liked to know everything about it before she even started, knowledge made her feel more comfortable. He could kick himself for not having noticed that about her before and not realising that it really was all new to her.

They pulled up outside her building and she slid into her designated space, hitting the red button to shut down the engine.

"You did amazingly well."

She turned to smile at her love. "Well, it turns out that I had a good teacher."

He climbed out of the car and took her hand when she joined him.

"Quiet night in?"

He nodded. "Sounds perfect, then tomorrow we'll head to the island, I think you can handle that with the GPS and autopilot, don't you?"

She took a deep breath but then nodded her agreement. "As long as I have you, I can handle anything."

***

The palm trees didn't need to fold back for her dinky car, and it was kinda scary waiting for the cliff face to open enough to let her in, making her think that it wouldn't register her cars signature and open in time, leaving her driving into solid rock, but she needn't have worried. Brains, as always, had thought of everything.

John directed her to a spot off to the left of Two's hanger. Someone, likely Virgil, had painted on the wall in big purple letters the words "Thunderbird Witch".

"I told you you're one of us."

And that was when she burst into tears.

#Had to edit 4 times to beat the 250 paragraph limit #Never teach your partner to drive #Poor John #Selene is out of her comfort zone here #Thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds are go #fan fic stuff #fan fiction #fan fic update #john tracy

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t8oo · 5 years

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still the naked hopper anon! them wanting to make us feel good about that piece of shit of billy was so much bullshit,, ans the overall relashionship btw max and billy made zero sense??? je suis salé

Stranger things s3 spoilers!!!!!

“naked hopper again,,, hopper amd joyces relashionship felt so forced too!!! like i was so much rooting for anything but jopper but no,, in season 2 they did so good with their relationship and i was so disappointed when they gave in to the cliché of “actually they were in love”,,,”

u are now naked hopper anon LMFAO and BY ALL MEANS IM SUPER SALTY AS WELL. let us rant. just dnt send any outright spoilers please….

the “”””””””””””””billy redemption arc””””””””” is genuinely so fucking funny OH OK HIS Mom left I guess thats why hes a racist LOL billys character handling was soooo bad it was sooo fucking bad i genuinely feel sorry for billy stans i wouldv gone mad if my fav was wasted like this. AND THE THING IS he genuinely worked SO WELL in s2 as a racist 80s sex symbol like visually he really does a fantastic job. but when it came to his actions??? immediatly hes lost to the monster and we have no frame of reference, no hint that there is good in him and that hes genuinely fighting the monster and wanting redemption? i dont gvie a fuck if hes sorry before he dies lol i feel so genuinely upset abt this i really wanted something along the lines of a queer narrative for billy but no hes just a racist mom fucker

for most of s3 i thought hopper and joyce wouldnt happen. like hopper took his shot and missed bc joyce was recovering from bob. that narrative makes sens right ? i feel like the last episod really fucks up alot of build up lol. JOyce went thru so much bullshit and when hopper was pointing out that she couldnt move on from what happened i was like “bro? its only been a fuckin year? this was horribly traumatizing? let that woman rest?” this is what im talkin abt when im sayin s3 was too much fanservice. i feel like they just wanted to please the fans even if it meant sacrificing substance aparently LOL

ITS NOT HARRASMENT

#Anonymous

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flying-elliska · 5 years

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salut ellie! someone once asked you about your writing and you recommended falling in love with language and finding ways of writing you love. i was wondering, what books and/or writing styles are you in love with? it's just so interesting to know what somehow had an impact on the way you're writing bc i honestly adore your style

wow do you remember that ? that is such a flattering question oh my god. well, i’m still working on it. some of my favorites are (i’m very eclectic lmao) :

- His Dark Materials (it’s a fantasy book series ‘for kids’ but it’s actually insanely deep and philosophic) is pretty much the first book series that made me fall in love with stories, and made me want to write. I think I found it when I was 10, and it completely shaped me. It’s so ambitious and clever, it never talks down to the reader, brings up those amazing worlds and philosophical concepts and is still accessible to kids. Most of all it is so committed to atmosphere, to making it vivid, to really make you go through what the characters are. I’m thinking of it and I can remember exactly certain passages in an almost sensory way : the witch Serafina Pekkala describing what it feels like to feel the Aurora Borealis on her bare skin as she is flying through the arctic. The polar bear Iorek giving Lyra frozen moss to help bandage his wounds after a battle. The grilled poppy heads that the Jordan College scholars at Oxford eat during a meeting. The little Gallivespians on their dragonflies and the way the sun reflects off their poisonous spurs. That’s how you make a story stick ; that’s how you can put in deep stuff without ever making it boring. I am so excited they’re making a tv series because that shit deserves some recognition. And I mean the whole plot about the importance of stories, free will, the horror of religious fundamentalism....always relevant. Philip Pullman’s stuff is great in general, I love his Sally Lockhart series, which is more adult and adventure focused, and is a great deal of fun. And of course, the sequel to HDM he’s been putting out recently.

- I spent a lot of my teen years reading either crime novels or historical novels. (When I think of some of the stuff I read when I was 13 I’m like oh my god what were my parents doing lmao some of that was really horrible.) And I think it gave me a good feeling for suspense and setting, and how important tension is. One of my all time faves is Andrea Japp. She is a French writer who does mostly crime, involving complex/monstrous woman characters and a very sensory, poetic approach to language, often involving food, plants and poisons. My favorite by her is the “Season of the Beast”/Agnès de Souarcy chronicles, which is a crime series set in medieval times, with a cool independent lady at its core, crimes in a monastery, and this very gloomy end of times vibe that I love. I also read a lot of Scandi Noir stuff, I love the kind of ...laconic approach to life. And again : vibe. Vibe is so important. And Sherlock Holmes stories. I love the Mary Russell series that take place in that universe and are basically a big Mary Sue self insert guilty pleasure but are just. So much fun.

- I like poetry a lot - not stuff that is too wordy, but something short, sharp and vivid. i think reading poetry is essential to feeding your inner ‘metaphor culture’. I love Mary Oliver. Rimbaud, too, that I read at 17 and rocked my world. One of my underrated faves is Hồ Xuân Hương, a Vietnamese poet from the 18th century who was adept at using nature metaphors to hide both erotic stuff, irreverent jokes, and political criticism, and correspond with all the great scholars of her time under a pseudonym. Badass. Recently I bought ‘Soft Science’ by Franny Choi, which is about cyborgs, having a female body, emotions and politics and it’s absolutely brilliant.

- I love reading fairy tales, too. Currently reading (i always read a lot of books at once lol) Angela Carter’s Book of Fairy Tales, basically fairy tales for grown ups, collected from folklore all over the world, with an amazing kind of gruesome humor and wisdom. Norse mythology is also so damn funny. That one bit with Thor dressing up as a bride or Loki’s shenanigans...amazing. And I like fantasy, I find it very soothing to read for some reason, my fave has to be Robin Hobb and her Realm of the Elderlings series. And Terry Pratchett, especially the series with Death or the Witches. Just brilliant. Neil Gaiman too.

- I tend to be very impatient when it comes to literary fiction, I find a lot of it is self-indulgent, dreary. I’m a genre reader through and through, I need to be amazed. I loved ‘the Elegance of the Hedgehog’ by Muriel Barbery though. Some stuff by Amélie Nothomb, Virginie Despentes occasionally (they’re French writers with a very dark, wry approach to life, tho the first is more polished acid and the second very punk rock). And ‘Special Topics in Calamity Physics’ by Marisha Pessl is pretentious as hell but a lot of fun, if you like dark academia. Salman Rushdie has a way with language that is amazing.

- I read a lot of non-fiction. At the moment : the Cabaret of Plants (about the symbolic/socio historical meaning of plants and how they shaped history) by Richard Mabey and ‘Feminist Fight Club’ by Jessica Bennett. One I absolutely love is ‘the Botany of Desire’ by Michael Pollan in which he traces the history of four plant species (apple, potato, cannabis, tulip) and how they impacted us as much as we impacted them. I was obsessed with plants for most of my life as you can see lol (my mother is a herbalist and I wanted to become a botanist for quite a while.). Also philosophy/anthropology in little bits. I love Tim Ingold. Things about witches. Anything by Rebecca Solnit is incredible.

- I’ve been reading a lot of YA recently, because it’s fun and quick and keeps me reading, and has a lot of good female characters. Big fave recently : Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. It’s about a young bisexual woman who’s grieving and comes to this weird house full of doors, each of which leads to a different path in life, and we follow her through each choice she can potentially make, each of one becomes a different genre of story : creepy ghost story, spy story, sci-fi, cute romance, etc. It’s so innovative and it’s a story that is also bisexual culture at its core. Also I absolutely love love love love love (etc forever) the Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater. What she does with language is just so cool, because she stays simple and efficient but uses her metaphors in such a fulgurant, vivid way. Some of her lines are just. bam! genius. #goals. Also Ronan Lynch is probably THE character that helped me the most with my coming out. He’s one of my forever faves. Of course Harry Potter, lmao, I was of the generation that pretty much grew up with him, the last book came out when I was 17. JK Rowling really should just stop rn. But I learned so much from those, about the importance of making your story feel like home, and having a clear emotional journey. And Harry is such a sarcastic little shit, I love him. And I love a Series of Unfortunate Events too, the darkly funny tone of it, the celebration of knowledge and resilience.

- I think in terms of the classics (I had to read in school lmao), I do like Victor Hugo a lot even though some of his stuff just doesn’t fucking stop. I also like Balzac and his Comédie Humaine, he’s very observant, mean and funny when it comes to people (even though it’s depressing.) Colette is my grandma’s fave writer and she is a rockstar, I love her (also hella bi culture). Jane Austen is great, I read Pride and Prejudice in one night straight, I was so hooked. Love Jane Eyre too. I read On the Road by Jack Kerouac while hopped up on opioid pain killers and that’s probably the only way to appreciate it, but it did mark me.

- But to be completely fucking candid, I probably read the most fanfic nowadays still. Esp since I got to college, I need to unwind when I read, and having characters you already know can be so comforting. Now, of course, there’s a lot of fanfic that is just fluff (nothing wrong with that) but I honestly really believe in the literary value of fanfic. Because some of that shit simply just really slaps and is well written. But also as a genre on its own : you just simply don’t get so much emotional nuance, and depth in most other things. Because these are characters we already know and the writers are not afraid to be self-indulgent and plot is secondary, we see shades of things that we never see anywhere else, we see relationships developping in the small things and wow that shit is breathtaking, bro, sometimes. The art of infinite variation on a theme. Even though a lot of fic writers could use a bit of stricter editing, and do stuff a bit too many unnecessary details in here, so does Victor Hugo soooooooo....

lol i could go on forever. i love book soooo much. uni kinda killed my reading appetite, I used to read several books a week when I was in middle school. hope i can get back there (although maybe not as much bc i have a life now lol.) but thinking about everything i have yet to read makes me sooooo happy. I want to get more into sci-fi, English lit classics. Basically I like stuff that’s witty, dark, political, hedonistic, with dry humor, but a warm heart. Stories that celebrate knowledge, curiosity and human weirdness. And that gets to the point. When I get bored by a book, I put it down, because I just don’t have the time. I also hate writers where you can tell that they think they’re better than other people. Misanthropy is boring. Thank you for this question anon I had a blast

#reading #books #book recs #literature #anon asks

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ironic-lion · 7 years

Text

soy luna youtube au

because let's face it this had to be done

so jazmín would still have fab & chic

delfi starts out always appearing on the channel as well but she kinda does her own thing later

pedro the smol cinnamon roll has a life advice channel and boi he's good at it

everyone just loves him

he's so nice and easy to watch

he never leaves you feeling discouraged

you just wanna get off your ass and change the world after you watch him

(at one point he tries a cooking channel but it takes exactly one video attempt and a burnt kitchen for him to give up)

nina has this book and study channel

and she absolutely loves it

it's more on the nerdy side

ámbar has a vlog channel where she just posts about her life

it's like watching a more glamorous version of yourself honestly

yam has a fashion channel and everyone just absolutely adores her

(and also jim and yam collab v often and the fandom goes crazy every time it happens)

jim has a mix of pretty much everything but mostly it's about dancing and singing

(and also domestic videos of her and yam but shhh)

gastón's channel would mainly be about dressing well and books

it's hard to believe but it's a combo that works

luna is just a smol bean trying to find her way through life (aka she's a mess)

honestly most of her videos don't even have a structure

she just babbles about everything that comes to her mind

it's so nice and relaxing tho

and you always feel like seeing and old friend again

because she's so open and nice

sometimes she uploads random vlogs

or skating videos when she's feeling like it

matteo would have a looooot of travel vlogs and skating videos and just generally have the cool boy vibe

you either love him or you hate him

there's no in between

it just doesn't exist

you either get his sense of humor and love him

or you don't and despise him

but still most people love him

because come on this is the internet

most of us are sarcastic little shits

simón uploads a lot of video of the rollerband practicing

he also uploads some funny challenges

he's basically the person you go to if you want a nice mix of everything

but somehow it's still organized

honestly how does this boy do that

no one knows

luna wants to know his secret

because sometimes she gets random bursts of motivation

all she gets is “ambition”

nico is the vlogger of the group

he vlogs everything

absolutely everything

at first especially the ones with Secret Relationships are wary

but then they start to relax

it's not like they don't want anyone to know

most of them just had no idea how to tell the internet

but anyway back to delfi for a moment

she would have a channel on how to achieve your dreams

and give advice and mainly tell people to dump their shitty friends

but also how she managed to become such a successful business woman

“i never stopped working for what i wanted and i had an amazing and supportive boyfriend”

pedro and her haven't openly talked about their relationship but...

the looks they give each other in vlogs says everything

the fandom basically takes this as confirmation

(they may or may not upload a super sappy video of them talking about their relationship and just generally being disgustingly cute)

ramiro has a channel where he uploads videos of himself singing and dancing

he and jim collab quite often and they're pretty much everyone's fave dynamic dancing duo

the fandom is divided into 3 parts

the 'jim and ramiro are obviously dating'

the 'yam and ramiro are soooo married'

the 'jim and yam are in love stop this crap'

little do they know they're all v in love with each other

ricardo is the only one of the adults who has a youtube channel and actually knows how to use it

he is a gamer obviously

and he has no idea what he's doing

also obvious

monica would like a cooking platform but she doesn't like this whole youtube thing

so she starts a blog

but let's get back to the actual point of this

nina and luna are friends

so are luna and matteo

(jk they're in the pining stage)

but anyway matteo and gastón are the brotp of youtube

they invented bro jokes

“bro you're the light of my life”

“bro”

(honestly they confess their love for each other every two seconds)

but anyway

luna convinces matteo to ask gastón to collab with nina

because it's painfully obvious that she has a crush on him

but she's also too shy to do it herself

gastón is on board immediately

(not because he absolutely adores her nooooo)

he just really likes her videos ok??

but then they sit down and boi sparks fly

the fandom loves it

honestly they're so cute together

nina just glances at gastón for expended periods of time and when he turns to look at her she turns away

coincidentally gastón does the exact same thing

the fandom wants death

(and so do i)

they're both 100% convinced the other doesn't have a crush on them and suffer in silence

(aka they pour their heart out to luna and matteo, respectively)

(those two are facepalming so hard)

(it takes a shitload of inspirational and encouraging speeches to convince those two idiots of the opposite)

so after this crap has been going on for a while gastón doesn't look away

and nina's heart speeds up because holy shit he's looking at her

(and even though they have filmed quite a few videos together by now she still totally has a crush and now it's even stronger than before)

but noooo of course they still don't kiss

time for more suffering

gastón is so sure that nina doesn't like him like that by now

matteo wants to scream

luna too really

they are this close to fucking collabing and just screaming for 3 hours and dedicating this to gastón and nina

but then they think of something better

because they know there are multiple bets going on about when those two will finally kiss

they betted too

and they aren't about to lose

but they also can't just straight-up tell them

because that would be cheating

so they make sure gastón and nina are in the same room and walk by talking about how in love with each other they obviously are

nina and gastón are both shook

because there's no way he said that

(nope kiddo he definitely compared your eyes to stars once)

(and your entire existence to the best thing to happen since sliced bread)

(matteo was jealous)

nina isn't sure whether that's a compliment or not

but also gastón

he's just starstruck

it takes him about 0.2 seconds to put everything together

and about five minutes to actually move

he turns to nina

and looks her in the eyes

and all that sappy “is it true” “mmhh” shit ensues and then they finally kiss

when they come out of the room luna and matteo are already cashing in their winnings

but what they did not expect was gastón and nina making it their personal mission to make their life a living hell

(and with that i mean trying to get them to kiss)

because if the gastón/nina relationship was slow burn

then what the fuck are luna and matteo

gastón and nina manage to convince them to film a video with them

two videos rather

“boyfriend vs. best friend”

“girlfriend vs. best friend”

everything is well

until they lock them in a room

(really they're stunned they managed to do it too)

they are hoping for them to finally kiss

(sweet hopeful children)

but no

those two oblivious idiots go the entire time without even touching that subject

gastón sits matteo down and asks him if he likes luna

“of course i do, we're friends”

he knows exactly what gastón meant but honestly he deserves it

he locked him in a room (not a closet at least) for several hours

a bit of playing oblivious is definitely well-deserved

luna actually is oblivious

“what do you mean? nina we've been friends for over a year now of course i like him”

now nina isn't on the overdramatic side of life but god

but because those two just have it one day

nina tells luna gastón told her matteo is moving again

she knows that will suffice in getting luna to admit her feelings

it may be a teeny tiny bit mean but jfc she can't anymore

and it works

much to their dismay nina and gastón aren't actually there when it happens

but luna and matteo come back smiling and holding hands

gastón sneakily films everything

(for future blackmail material obvs not because he finds them incredibly freaking cute and high key loves them both)

and while luna may have forgotten what it took to get to this point

matteo. has. not.

but like the true slytherin he is at heart

he thinks

and then realizes he's actually kinda grateful

so when gastón gets a gift basket he's skeptical

until he reads the card

cue the bro jokes

meanwhile

ámbar and simón have a love/hate relationship with way too much sexual tension

honestly no one can tell when they're flirting at first because ????? what is happening???

they're just kind of ????

i can't even describe it honestly

but basically they're both sarcastic little shits

this can go for hours

and no one is sure whether they don't actually hate each other

because boi does it seem like that at some times

but they're actually quite close

and with that i mean really fucking close and simón is one of the 3 people that have ever seen her crying

but they don't really show that side of their relationship/friendship/whatever this is on camera

so mostly the fandom thinks they should steer clear of each other

and they mostly do for videos

because boi do they not wanna deal with idiotic shitheads

so they just hang out off camera

and on camera they spew sarcastic insults at each other

so naturally the fandom thinks they're definitely dating

(or at least a good part of it)

(fandoms are weird don't ask me)

and then one day you can see ámbar just chilling in the corner while the rollerband is practicing in one of nico's vlogs

the fandom completely loses it

but they ignore it

because honestly its no one's business but theirs

and they aren't about to change that

and they're both creatures of habit

so not much really changes

until

simón is doing a livestream one day

and ámbar is at his flat

she is rummaging through the kitchen and cannot find the nutella jar

and she really really really wants to eat nutella right now

“where the fuck is your nutella?”

“babe it's in the right cupboard you know that”

she does

she just forgot

she's had a really hard day, ok?

but the chat is losing it

he just called her babe and she's at his flat in the first place

HOLY SHIT

they still don't make a proper video

they just couldn't care less

she just appears in more livestreams

u can see her in the background scrambling to the couch and falling down face-first on it

and maybe they might even be seen holding hands in another one of nico's vlogs

honestly their 'official announcement' is a lot less official and big than most people expected

they just allow nico to not cut out a snippet of them kissing

that's when the fandom really loses it

their otp is beautiful and it's real

delfi and pedro are just The Parents of the group

always there to give good advice and disgustingly sweet

no one even knows how they met

they have just been dating for sooo long no one bothered to remember

(except for delfi and pedro and that's their lil secret)

but anyway they're so good holy shit

they're so supportive of each other and god i could keep going for hours

honestly there's not much drama with them at all

not with ramiro and jim and yam

surprisingly enough their lives are actually pretty drama-free

not their fandom tho

they invented ship wars

honestly their fans keep attacking each other

and making a lot of 'proof' videos

(jim totally watches those when she's sad and needs a reminder people love her)

but our three heroes are just so fucking done

it's not like they don't leave hints

and obvious ones at that

but nooooo

the fandom consists of dipshits

so they're like “ok fuck this”

(btw people only know jim and yam live together)

ramiro uploads a video one day and keeps in a little clip where he just woke up

only he's lying in yam's bed

but still

people are saying things like “HE STAYED OVER AND IN YAM'S BED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT US TO KNOW HE'S DATING JIM”

jesus honestly

(joke's on them, he fucking lives there as well but this was the only thing they could think of)

then yam uploads a pic on instagram

it's a giiiiaaant bouquet of flowers

coincidentally it's also jim's birthday

she captions it 'for my girl'

ok that worked to freak out the jim/yam fans

not so much everyone else

“MY GIRL AS IN MY BEST FRIEND U IDIOTS”

honestly they want death at this point

nico is commissioned to put up a vlog where ramiro and yam hold hands

“THEY'RE JUST HOLDING HANDS PLATONICALLY”

THEY. ARE. DONE.

on this faithful sunday a video called “yes we are dating” is updated to each of their channels

it's just clips and pics of them kissing and holding hands and being domestic

this is also the day people realize ramiro lived with them all along

(and that they were wrong as hell. all of them.)

it fills ramiro jim and yam with intense satisfaction to see everyone freaking out

cue ámbar's horrified screams when people start shipping simón and her with nico

#soy luna #lutteo #gastina #simbar #pedrelfi #sl #so here it is #my 2.6k monster #it took me like 3 weeks to finish but shhhhh #pauli's pointless posts #pauli's writing #jim x yam #jim x yam x ramiro

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