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#I Know its a me problem but idk how to fix it
arolesbianism · 9 months
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Bleh :(
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aroaceleovaldez · 18 days
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actually in hindsight why did Rick repeatedly have Piper solve all the ghost problems on the Argo II when. Hazel was right there. A daughter of Pluto. who by all logic should be able to control ghosts even a little bit. like, we know she has at least some of those types of powers. she just never gets to actually practically use them. ever. and then when there are zombies Hazel once again. does not get to use her powers about it. what.
#pjo#riordanverse#hazel levesque#does hazel EVER use necromancy powers? besides *maybe* a little bit when working for gaea to raise giants?#though that was pretty explicitly mostly geokinesis#where is hazel's necromancy cmon#but like. ''oh no people are getting possessed. i know! PIPER! FIX THE PROBLEM WITH YOUR CHARMSPEAK''#''rather than oh i dont know HAZEL. THE PERSON WITH GHOST POWERS DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME.''#heck Hazel is very familiar with people being possessed. her mother was for. awhile.#why not just have hazel go ''hm yup. that's possession if i've ever seen it. hold on i've got this'' and then she uses pluto powers#you cant even use the excuse ''oh but she wouldn't know how to-''#she's been hanging out with her brother Nico ''Ghost King'' di Angelo for what. eight? ten months? something like that?#and one of her major things is that she's pretty good at picking things up quickly and has highly honed her powers#you're telling me nico never told her ''btw just in case: if you ever need to exorcise a ghost from someone just idk smack 'em''#like why is the exorcising ghosts piper's job#and why with the zombie apocalypse was it like ''oh no we can't do anything until apollo comes over to help us or whatever''#''if only we had a CENTURION WITH NECROMANCY POWERS. like a CHILD OF PLUTO OR SOMETHING''#''WHOSE BROTHER VERY FAMOUSLY GOT A ZOMBIE AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT''#and its like. yes hazel does ultimately play a significant role in stopping the zombie problem#but functionally COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO HER POWERS?
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craperonipizza · 1 year
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You know what? Yes, top surgery WOULD fix all my problems. Fuck you
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lion-buddy · 8 months
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idk how i keep managing to leave out entire words in the sentences i type im sorry abt that lol
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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tinylittlebab · 1 year
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when i see people with the same ugw as me but theyre taller i feel so bad about myself
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lordiavolo · 1 year
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months
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most frustrating part of writing a doctor who oc is that the doctor and the master will both sometimes just fuck off and do their own thing for a hundred years and be unfazed by it because they are functionally immortal. and i can’t stick my oc with them because they’ll just. die. so what, do i just put them in a pen until those guys get back? spruce up their enclosure while they’re waiting to get picked up to go on adventures again?
#yes yes the mortality of a companion against the doctor’s long life is part of the point its part of the tragedy but consider: i want them#to also be there so they can get into shenanigans. and not die of old age before im done letting them do shenanigans#look either i kick even out of the tardis every time these guys go do immortal shit or i find a was to Fix this problem and i dont really#know how to do either of these yet. ill figure it out#i *do* know that they’re not with missy while she’s setting up the cybermen plan over hundreds of years. maybe for brief moments when missy#wants an extra hand or eye candy or something else but mostly even’s stuck at the end feeling nauseous as missy goes about rewriting time to#make cyberzombies. not nauseous because of the cyberzombies. to be clear. they’ve just spent enough time fucking around with tardises and#time wars and the like that they’re a little sensitive to shit getting messed around with. tummyaches :(#id think a lot of companions get this eventually. i think the ponds definitely did. to me anyway. they should.#background tardis time vortex radiation idk how science works. but it gives even tummyaches.#i got distracted i was talking about mortality and how to prevent them dying too soon.#mostly even’s there to run the ‘business’ while missy’s away. they’re very good at being given a Job.#and this job is supposed to fix everything forever once they get the doctor onboard. it doesn’t. but even thinks it will. which is what#matters in the end.#dw oc
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rohirric-hunter · 11 months
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"I'm not going to reverse-engineer an exhaustive loot table," I said to myself
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These aren't even humanoid. What am I doing.
Also why are there so many Wind-swept Furs, they're not useful for anything
#is this techincally for the bowhunt anymore or is it turning into its own horrible thing#im only doing missions tho im putting my foot down about that#i am however organizing it by class and level range#and i decided to classify level range as which morale and power potions drop#idk if its a good classification but its a consistent one at least#i know its got. distinctive lines. if that makes any sense#ive been doing missions on a level 50 character for some time and i dont get moria stuff on her so thats how i tell#i DO get moria stuff from the skirmish-type battle instances out of gath forthnir so idk whats going on with that#but thats not a problem for me because i put my foot down and im only doing missions#now this is not a flawless system because i dont know how the loot tables work#is there a general loot table and then a class-specific loot table thats rolled additionally?#or is all the general loot loaded onto a bunch of different class specific loot tables?#hey if anyone had a level capped burg right after gundabad launched and did anything on them hmu#and let me know if you got literally anything except potions before they fixed that bug#because knowing that could answer that question for me potentially#or at least eliminate some possibilities#part of me wants to take this to the forums because there are probably other people there who would be into this#but idk if the devs would approve of me trying to suss out their secrets#they might shut it down and that would make me feel bad#although they post about the lotro companion on the forums so idk
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horce-divorce · 8 months
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So to be clear tumblr is the only social media i actually bother to use with any regularly, but sometimes you crave variety. For example sometimes going on reddit is a nice distraction, and my feed is all really interesting silly low-investment type posts that i can scroll thru and be entertained by without feeling like i have to engage. and other times it feels exactly like facebook. just suggested post after suggested post that makes me say "god you people are so fucking unbelievably stupid." posts seemingly hand picked to make me so enraged, the exact kind of shit I go online to AVOID.
currently it's recommending me a bunch of posts about "why does America have so much looting?" That have a bunch of responses like, "Because of the crime wave, no one prosecutes shoplifters, people have just noticed its so easy to get a group together on whatsapp, etc" and WHY? It thinks I would want or need these posts? Idfk??? I hang out in r/antiwork and like 3 other main subs about being homeless and random entertainment topics. I don't use reddit for politics or world events. I do NOT get my news from there.
Anyway there was also one recommended thread about "why do rural folk feel looked down upon by city folks?" And all the responses were, "yeah! It's them who are rude to the city people!" And when someone mentioned the lack of resources in rural areas, another person chimed in to say "well I lived in Detroit and now I live in a rural area and we have WAY more food and resources than Detroit does!" But the second anyone brings up, you know, the socioeconomic factors that influence that shit, everyone's like whining and crying bc their little brains can't handle ""bringing race into it."" someone had a different life experience than you?! Pft, sure, and then all the bystanders clapped! 🙄
idk it's like. the more time goes on, the wider economic gaps become, the more obvious it is how effectively people are brainwashed. It's not like the answers to these questions are hidden esoteric mysteries. It's not like people having different, individual experiences in life is new. Even my grandma understands that a) people aren't actually looting that much and b) even if they were, have you bought groceries in the past 3 years? if so, why are you even asking that question?? But you try to actually talk about how bad shits getting and these fuckers go into high gear defending The American Way Of Life and blaming individual choices. Ppl are drinking the Kool aid so hard and they think water is just supposed to fucking taste like that
#me#they put the kool aid in to cover up the taste of lead.#flint still doesnt have clean water. btw.#thats such a perfect example of what im talking about too#for YEARS its been common knowledge that we are poisoning and killing the people of flint (very near detroit fwiw. related topics)#and its like#idk i feel like i meet ppl who assume that bc Everyone Knows About Flint that means that it got fixed or smth#it fucking didnt#doesn't it feel kinda like. w wages and inflation. or covid. or anything else.#we declare oh yeah X is happening! its in the media. heres the numbers. everyones talking about it. finally out in the open. here we go#its in the news cycle for a few weeks and then bam. gone. nothing.#and everyone thinks oh its gone now. i guess its over#covid is still rampant and terrifying but its not on everyones minds anymore so no one wears masks. problem fucking solved am i right#everyone knows inflation is untenable. ceos make 400x workers. rent is all of your income. no one can afford food#we wont change wages tho. and everyone is just like. well if employers dont wanna pay more thats ok. just look harder for work.#just try harder. just work more jobs. just sell your blood in addition to your time body heart and soul.#its like people are hearing 'socioeconomic factors beyond our control influence how we live our lives' and they still go#'but why dont you wanna just buy more money?'#theyre HEARING words but they arent LISTENING#ONE person in that looting threads comments mentioned police brutality. one.#and they shockingly weren't getting downvoted into the negatives but they definitely werent being heard either#i feel like thats the most glaringly obvious one#like the entire world saw our police force going apeshit and they went 'woah are black ppl in america ok?'#and everyone said NO PLEASE HELP#and... nothing fucking changed!!!#everyone supported water protectors that 1 time. but the water protectors in the great lakes region still fighting?? crickets#i dont get it. i dont get it!!!!#in the news: heres 20 current events making life untenable for disenfranchised people#everyone: i dont get it? why are they breaking stuff
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basslinegrave · 7 months
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why do i keep finding out so many people working on fnaf or being involved are terrible people whats this...
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dreamcast-official · 9 months
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hey guess who got broken up with first thing in the morning WOO GO TEAM
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lokh · 1 year
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i am at the end of my fucking rope
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skyteglad · 10 months
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the latest aita is making me sad. the teeth one. because like... when i was a kid, i was told to have braces! and that i'd need an eventual surgery! and because i didn't want to, my parents didn't make me.
that surgery would've changed my life. i'm not fucking kidding. i'm pretty sure 75% of my physical disabilities stem from not getting that surgery. and by the time i was able to bring up trying to have corrective work again, i was two years from losing my insurance, and my parents procrastinated. now it seems like a pipe dream it'll ever happen.
i get being resentful of your parents forcing you to do things you don't want to do, but god damn, if mine had actually really pushed me into getting braces, my life would be so much different and so much better.
#riot.txt#personal#vent#sorry i'm just. really emotional and maybe a lil triggered#bc SO MUCH of my physical and mental health problems can be stemmed to my jaw#and my teeth.#bc i didn't get that surgery i can't swallow easily. i can't take medication i severely need. my back and neck are bent in ways i can't und#due to lack of breathing. i can't sit up straight bc i can't breathe and that's caused so much damage to me!#if they'd have pushed me into caring for my teeth and my body it would've saved me SO much heartache and pain. i'll have no way of knowing#how different life would be#but i know for a FACT i wouldn't have certain issues i have now... i'd be on mental health medication i wouldn't have chronic pain i'd be#able to function in society without feeling like a burden who'll never be able to get on social security#idk im jst... PLEASE iff you have the chance to have orthopedic work done - DO IT.#if your PARENTS are going to be footing the bill and have good insurance i PROMISE thats a fucking blessing#bc i can't work anymore and the surgery i need that might fix a lot of my life is in the tens of thousands without insurance that i cant bu#anyways sorry to ramble n trauma dump but its my blog and if ANYONE sees this and it helps them or convinces them to get work done while#they can then. idk. feels worth it to be vulnerable :'3#EDIT: also like... if they'd forced me sure i'd be resentful#but ykw i am rn? even more resentful for the intense medical neglect that stemmed from 'well he doesn't want to so lets not make him'#most kids don't want to go to the doctor. maybe if they'd taken me regularily to a fucking doctor i'd have more answers for what's wrong wm#like... god i'd have hated braces then bc ofc i would i was a kid#but i hate even more now knowing just how fucking NEGLECTED i was as a kid bc they let me make my own choices by going the hands off approa#iunno. anyways. nah on that aita. you're allowed to be upset and resent him for it but GOD he is not an asshole for caring about you#'your body your choice' does not apply here at all. i'm so sorry to tell u this. fdkgfdhgkjdgd#EDIT 2: didn't even MENTION the fact i have dehibilitating chronic migraines and headache that i suspect are directly tied to my poor denta#health!! LIKE. AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK FOR THE ENTIRE DAY#SOMETIMES (OFTEN) MUTLIPLE TIMES A WEEK.#i only JST NOW got access to medicatio to help w it and i CAN'T. SWALLOW. THE MEDICATION THAT PREVENTS THE MIGRAINE FROM GETTING WORSE#I CAN ONLY SWALLOW THE DAILY MED... BC ITS _SO FUCKING TINY_.#aahghghfgdfhgdfjd -puts face in hands-
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souppippin · 2 years
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had a weird experience with my bachelor thesis advisor today
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goethitee · 2 years
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oooo i think im in trouble…….
#uhh tw for animal abuse & death mention ig#TO CLARIFY IF YOU DONT READ THE REST OF THE POST I AM NOT THE ANIMAL ABUSER#anyways idk if any of you remember the friend of mine that makes poor dog decisions but thats who im talking abt here.#the puppy mill mini aussie of hers has been causing her problems (shocker). but these problems are mainly there because she literally does -#- nothing w her dogs. like she keeps them crated like all the time. theyre barely outside for like 5 min at a time. i only just recently -#- got her to try training them to settle. which hasnt been going well because she never actually house trained the mini aussie. she seems -#-to think omce a dog reaches a certain age theyll be well behaved. but she texted me tonight complaining abt the mini aussie again & said -#-abt how he chewed a hole through the bottom of his crate & carpet down to the hardwood. she then said abt how her bf was so pissed he said-#-if he does it again hes gonna take the dog outback & shoot him. she seems to think this is an okay thing to say.#anyways i told he needed to get the fuck over it shit like that happens when you have dogs your shit gets damaged.#i also finally told her that the fucking bones dont cut it the dogs needs mental enrichment & traing & that she needs to work him.#she mad at me now lol but im just so fucking sick of her shit & how she treats her dogs. complains abt them not being good while doing noth-#-ing to fix it. i feel terrible for her poor dogs. this also isnt the first time ive heard her say smth abt the bf threatening to shoot the-#-dog. ‘its just the way he is!’ thats not fucking excuse he needs fucking therapy if he thinks that that is an okay thing to say.#& honestly from what i know of him he might actually do it at some point. idk our bloodhound that we had to euthanize for aggression chewed-#-on the fucking walls of our house but never once did we even think of ‘taking him out back & shooting him’ & he did that after the first -#- attack.#also shooting your dog is illegal so i will definitely be calling someone if it happens.#i also told her to just get rid of him if she couldn’t handle him cuz im sick of her shit lol
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