#I GOT HIM IN A LOT BTW I DIDNT GET DUPED | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theelliottsmiths · 4 years

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Do you have a story about how you got your cats please?

Okay so. I went to the shelter with the intention of maybe adopting a staffie (a dog, you understand, and not a cat at all). When I was there walking around the kennels I decided I wouldn't feel right having a dog of the size I like (aka not a little dog, I worry about stepping on them and also they're all bred to be in poor health, basically) in a place that doesn't have a big garden and whatnot. I decided I wanted to get a cat. I went home, went back a week later after thinking it though (my impulse control? superb, mostly), and there was this little black cat called Bear up for adoption. Adorable. Perfect fluffball. Smol girlie.

I asked if I could meet her. They said you have to have all your paperwork and whatnot ready because they don't reserve animals (?) so you basically have to take all your paperwork and adopt them the day you meet them. I went home and a week later emailed them asking if she was still there. Massive issues ensued, I don't know how people for whom a phonecall is not accessible can communicate with them.

I went back with all my paperwork organised to prove I am me and was allowed by the landlord to adopt a cat. My home was ready: I had two litter trays, food and water dishes, a bed, animal-safe disinfectant and anything else one might need when procuring a new feline friend.

She was no longer there. Sad day.

I asked which cats were indoor cats (I disagree with outdoor cats in general but also just wanted an indoor cat because I live near a road) and he gave me a list of three pens and, of course, mentioned the kittens were also obviously indoor cats. They had more than a dozen kittens.

Javert and Valjean did not go by those names then. They were aloof and sat looking through the window of the bedding section of their cage/pen (they're pretty big, considering). They were twice the size of all the other cats, and a pair, and boys: not at all what I was looking for, though they were at least adults (three years old). Still, I liked their vibes and wanted to pet a cat, so I asked the man to set up a room we could meet in.

I barely saw the boys in that room. They spent most of the hour hiding under a bench because they were cowardly. I took off my glasses for them to sniff and managed a single-finger head stroke. I fell in love. Avoir un coup de foudre.

I was told they were very standoffish and would never be affectionate, probably wouldn't even let me pet them. I didn't care: from the moment I saw them I knew, really, they were destined to be my boys.

The rest of the time was spent with me sitting on the concrete floor making awkward conversation whilst I got advice on whether I could dupe my landlord and get two cats and just be like uh yeah you said I could get two and I'm such a good tenant and they're good boys anyway so... Spoiler alert: turns out that if you just don't even say anything and act like yeah of course there are two they've always been here dude then they don't question it.

I said fuck it, helped the woman put them back in the carriers, and marched past all the staffies, the pigs, the rabbits, and the horse (who bit me the first time I went by the way, I think they knew I think horses are just donkeys living above their station) and up to the desk man to get the paperwork I would then spend two hours filling out. I had a confusing circular conversation with a woman who was also at the desk because I wrote the estimated hours I would be out of the house as per week and she didnt get that you can roughly divide that into the hours per day.

It was dark and windy by the time we were ready to go. The man offered to let us stay in the building until the taxi came to get us but like a fool I said no thanks and went outside. I was tired, my senses hurt, and we were all very stressed.

It turned out there was a car accident just up the road and the taxi was to be almost an hour late. We went back inside after ten minutes. I gave him a defiant look because my sister had already taken the other option, which was primarily sheepishness.

They then super offhandedly said oh btw you have to feed them X food only or they will get sick and bleed inside. They gave me four cans (two meals) because where do you get non-whiskas food at 7pm? Sidenote they were feeding them supplementary wet food and not complete wet food how are they allowed to work there? Also please don't feed your cats whiskas.

Then yeah. Got them home, they shouted a lot on the way, and I didn't see them for about three days. It's fine, didn't expect to. Eventually VJ and then Jav felt brave and learned about the living room and that was that. My boys.

It turns out that they were wrong, by the way. Jav is a little picky about his affection, he prefers to take than just recieve, but if I let him Valjean would be in my lap purring 22/7 (they have to eat and use the litter trays so I took off a couple of hours).

#me rambling #truly an epic tale #non-rammstein #basically an essay

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