#Hooooooo boy this one almost made me cry a little
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Spider-Man FFH review/ramble??¿? Spoilers
This is out of order so get ready to anyone who dares (also sry if I’ve repeated smthing someone said already But this is me going off on a tangent):
I liked how they handled the romance with Peter and MJ. I’m not much of a Spideychelle fan in general but even a casual fan can agree that their relationship is adorable in this one. I did wish that they developed them more in Homecoming and how Peter suddenly got a crush on MJ (cuz tbh it wasn’t fair for Liz to just be up and forgotten). But overall, I didn’t mind their romance and would prbly start shipping them in the future.
I also liked Michelle’s character here more. In Homecoming I just felt like Zendaya was just playing herself and was more of a guest star there. I wasn’t really hooked on her character. But in this movie they made her charming in an awkward way, and also pretty badass. I’m glad they didn’t go with the damsel in distress route with her character. I can’t wait to see what they do with her in the next movie.
Also Ned and Betty’s relationship was hilarious and adorable. They were the best couple in my opinion even tho they broke up in the end :P I hope they’ll remain good friends.
The Happy and May romance was cute too even tho it felt like a crack ship. Happy “I’m in love with Spider-Man’s Aunt” Hogan. Honestly, same.
I liked how they handled the sort of love triangle thing going on between Peter, MJ, and Brad. While I would’ve liked to do without that, I appreciated how MJ had her focus on Peter instead of a will they won’t they flirting thing with Brad. They didn’t stretch it out too far. (We’ve already seen the whole love scenarios with MJ in the OG movies, no need to add unnecessary romantic subplots).
Speaking of Brad. What a poor guy, but an asshole. I didn’t like him since his only purpose was to be Peter’s love rival for MJ. Sorry Brad.
Thing is unlike Brad I never really had a problem with Flash. A lot of people in fanon like to depict him as a one dimensional bully (which to me tbh is an overdone trope), but even as far back as Hoco, Flash always seemed to be more of a douchebag who was a little annoyance in Peter’s life. His scenes are pretty comedic and I’m here for him being the #1 ultimate Spidey fanboy. I felt sorry for him when his parents didn’t show up. His character in some aspects has some relatability to him as well.
Anyways, also May was dusted???? I thought she survived the snap, but apparently she didn’t??
And Happy got dusted too???
Kinda sad that Pepper didn’t show up, but it was very generous of her to send that big check
Happy was the MVP there, I’m so happy (lol get it) that he and Peter hav a close familial relationship now and that Happy is looking out for Peter on his own accord. They’ve come so far compared to their relationship in Hoco. Honestly that jet scene was one of the best and most emotional scene out of the movie I almost cried. AND PETER REMINDS HAPPY OF TONY I AM JUSTASHLLJWFJL—that broke me.
Btw that tribute in the beginning was a true piece of art👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
Also is Steve dead now??? Or did he just hav Sam and Bucky tell everyone he is dead instead of being really old??
The action scenes 😖👌🏽❤️❤️💯‼️💵💰❤️
ESPECIALLY SPIDER-MAN WIELDING THAT SHIELD LIKE HE’S CAPTAIN AMERICA B R O
Can we appreciate how badass Peter was??? CUZ HE WAS FREAKIN BADASS
WHEN HE CAUGHT THE GUN HOLY SHI—
Also THAT scene with Mysterio, Peter and the illusions. It was beautiful but horrifying
TWO WORDS: ZOMBIE IRONMAN
WHY THE FUCK DID THEY THINK THAT WAS OK HGNGNGG
I got a mini heart attack when Peter got run over by that train I’m just im crying my poor boi
When Nick Fury was yelling at Peter, making him feel incompetent, look,,, i was ready to throw my hands and fight, Peter is more of a superhero than u ever could be motherfuccing BITHC
Also I never trusted Mysterio >:|
N E V E R
But the end tho can I just *throws myself out the window*
BITCH WAT THE FUCK
WAT THE FUCK
YOU CANT DO THAT.
• NO
but eyyy J. K Simmons back playing J. Jonah Jameson holy shi—
• BITCH WAT THE FUCK
You. Can’t. Just. Out. His. Identity. Like. That.
After that little tease scene beforehand with May, Peter and Happy
WHY WOULD YOU—
Hooooooo I hate you. I hate you so much hmmmmmmhmhm.
it’s just,,, Peter has been through so much already,,,I just wanted him to be ok,,, but he’s not ok,,,*breaks down crying*
So apparently Nick Fury and Maria Hill are Skrulls???? And the real Nick Fury is commanding a Skrull ship??? Wtf how long????
Overall I thought I’d be able to get some closure with Spider-Man: FFH and maybe relax but Marvel’s like NOP
I’m gonna have to wait another year or two for the next movie oh boy.
TLDR I’m gonna die. 4.3/5 (idk I’m not a movie critic)
PS. WHERE THE FUCK WAS KAREN???
YOU HAD EDITH AND U COULDVE HAD KAREN INFILTRATE EDITH WHILE EDITH WAS UNDER MYSTERIO’s POSESSION OR WATEVER
I just,,, i miss Karen.
#spiderman far from home#spiderman homecoming#spiderman#ramble#review#?#marvel#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#i guess i liked ffh as much as i liked hoco#but since im a sucker for fluff im more of a hoco person#but srsly this movie is amazing#spiderman far from home spoiler#spoilers
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Second date
After such a successful first date a couple of days ago, Kayla couldn’t wait to see Thalia again tonight. She had made her feel sexy again, she had barely slept a wink the last night. Just thinking about doing it all again, made her nervous and excited.
After being abandoned nearly six months ago by her ex, her heart was healing and she was ready to find happiness once again. She was just so glad that she found someone who accept both her and the baby. She hoped this was just the start of a new chapter for her, that she could raise this baby in a loving home. She knew this was big talk after only one date, but she felt a connection with Thalia.
She watched herself get dressed in the mirror, she felt different. This was no longer the body was carrying a child that she wasn’t ready to raise alone, this was the body that had been seen as sexy and powerful. She put on a dress that showed off her blossoming baby bump, feeling her form with her hands she noticed her belly had go lower the last couple of days. But no matter, she wasn’t due for another 3 weeks.
Though she was experiencing light cramps, but she rubbed them away. This must be the dreaded braxton hicks she thought, she was sure they would be gone by this evening. She went back to her full length mirror, she started doing her hair and make up. Once it was complete her eyes went back to the refection of her swollen midsection, her baby was kicking and she smiled at the sensation of her active passenger. A cramp returned but it left as quickly as it came, she was then interrupted by her phone.
It was Thalia texting her the details of the date, she hadn’t told her that she was experiencing cramps. She wanted just one more date to seal the deal before the baby came, she knew that all the signs of early labour were there but she just hoped that it was just cramps.
She rubbed her full-term belly gently, “you wanna stay in there a little longer don’t you darling”. But once again she was greeted by a mild cramp, she groaned in discomfort this wasn’t looking good but she had to keep it together. But at the end of her next cramp she felt a dribble of water escaping her, she rushed to the bathroom quickly pulled her panties down. As she sat on the toilet the release of pressure confirmed to her it was her waters that had just broke, she had been in pain all day she knew her labour was progressing.
She knew that her date ending once again with a night of passion was off the table, but maybe she could still go for a few hours then go to the hospital? She didn’t want to loose Thalia, and she seemed to find her sexy with her baby bump. It would be fine, it was her first baby so it would take ages. Her contractions were just aches and were short and spaced out.
Gently she lift herself off the toilet, as she washed her hands and touched up her make up she ignored the irregular pains. She adjusted her dress as she called for an Uber, she felt a sharp twinge and she tried to rub it away. “Come on baby you can wait a few hours”.
When the car arrived it took an effort too keep a straight face, as she felt a contraction whilst climbing into the car. But within 10 minutes they were stuck in traffic, they listened to the traffic report on the radio as it told them that there had been a crash on the road.
It took double the time but eventually they arrived at Thalia's flat, as Kayla climbed out the car she had to hold on tight to steady herself. Thalia was standing outside waiting for her, she came over and too her hands, she guided her to the pavement.
"Is everything okay?" Thalia asked.
Kayla nodded she worried that she wouldn't be able too keep the pain out of her voice, but it was too late. Another contraction hit her hard and she couldn't help clutching her belly, “aaaaaaaaaaaargh" she moaned "the baby is sooooo active".
"Course he is" said Thalia not believing a word of it, she could see that her date was in labour. She took her into her flat to sit down for now.
"I thought we hee hee were going out toniiiight?" Kayla asked.
"Let's just stay here until I know what to do with you".
"What do you mean, hoooo hooooo hee hee hooooooo hoooooo hee hee" Kayla said as Thalia helped lower her onto the sofa.
“Are you okay? Really, because I think you are in labour” Thalia asked.
“Noooooo, I’m not" she insisted before relenting. "Hee hee hooooo hoooooo yes I'm in labour" she moaned.
“Please let’s get you to the hospital, don't worry about our date" Thalia said.
“Ooooh, here it comes. Nggggggaaaaa but I wanted to see you."
“But I think our son… I mean your son, he might have a different idea" Thalia said blushing.
"What?” Kayla said "hoo hooo, sooo you see this as your child tooo"
"Forget I said anything slip of the tongue"
"Doooo you?"
"Ok ok" Thalia said the blush deepening "I know we had only one date together. But I had such high hopes that we could be a family".
“I want that tooooooo oooohhhhhhhh nnggghh" Kayla moaned as she felt another contraction building. Thalia looked at her worried, it had been only a couple of minutes since the last one. Also she didn't know anything about delivering a babies, “just try and breath though it” she told Kayla. As she put her hand on the dome like belly, she felt Kayla’s contractions ripple under her skin.
“Baby I gotta push, I’ve gotta push aaaaaaaugh naagggghhhhh" she groaned bearing down
“Wait what no I thought we had time, we need you get you too a hospital" Thalia said panicking.
“Ohhhhhhh noooooo, no no no. Ohhhh here it comes, here it comes, here it… Ngaaaaaaah" and once again Kayla pushed. She could feel the child entering the birth canal, she lay down on the sofa and spread her legs as much as the dress would let her.
“Honey I’m here, It’s okay I’m not going anywhere” Thalia said holding her hand
“Really? You prommmmise ohhhhh ohhhh naaaaaggggg”
“I promise”
“The baby the baby it’s coming, nnnnaaaaaa oooooooh ohhhhhh.” She gave a mighty push and she felt the child’s head started to make it’s way past her lips. Aaaaargh” she moaned and she frantically took her clothes off needing to be less restricted.
Thalia could now see that Kayla’s child was coming, “please” she begged “don’t push yet”.
"I need to get this baby outta me" Kayla cried.
"Just pant," Thalia told her, “I will be right back”.
"Hoooo hoo hoo" Kayla panted, “what are you doooing?” she said fighting against the urge to push.
After washing her hands in the bathroom, then grabbing towels Thalia came back and told her “okay lets have a baby”.
Kayla didn’t need to be told twice she held her belly and gave a huge push, already she could feel the head spreading her lips wide.
“That’s it don’t stop now” Thalia said helping her keep her legs spread, she could see the baby had dark hair. As the head made it’s way out it was stretching Kayla to her limit, but she didn’t stop until the contraction was over.
“I’m sorry this is our second date” Kayla said weakly
“Are you kidding me, this is amazing” Thalia said, then softly added “certainly something to look back on one day.” Kayla couldn’t help smiling at that.
"Oooohhhh god, ohhhhhhh god. The baby it’s coming fast, I can feel it owwwwwwwwww”. Kayla pushed again, but this time the baby's head sliding out fully with a rush of fluid.
"The head's out, we are almost there" shouted Thalia.
Focusing on getting the shoulders out, Kayla bore down hard. “Oh god it burns so bad, ohhhhhhhh”. The baby slid out of her a rush of fluid soaking the towels Thalia had put under her.
Thalia placed the baby on Kayla's now softened belly, and as the little boy’s cry filled the room they both knew that there would be many more dates to come.
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moonbroch | sfw | noctis+reader
oh ho ho ho hooooooo, sorry it took me so long to get to this, but i had an idea for it at three in the morning and i am here to make EVERYTHING HURT. cracks knuckles, muttering about the diamond weapon in kingsglaive
moonbroch: an old Scottish word for a hazy halo of cloud around the moon at night that was a sign of bad weather to come
"You said your father was sending you away.”
“I know.”
Your voice cracked as you adamantly refused to meet the prince’s gaze, lest you stop being angry. “You... said... you were leaving to marry... someone else.” Your hands shook, eyes boring into the ground. The princess of Tenebrae was to wed Noctis. Lunafreya was to be with the man you had grown up with, the man you shared your first kiss with, the man who made you see stars, who knew about that one spot on your neck... As a symbol of peace. And you could have accepted it. You did, in fact. You accepted it when he held you and told you he will always love you. You accepted it when you watched the boys pull away from the curb, en route to Galdin Quay. You accepted it when you sank to your knees by your favorite tree in the royal gardens and wept quietly. What you did not accept was this...
Him, strolling back into Insomnia, invisible in the buzzing city, everyone antsy for the signing ceremony. Him, finding you in your favorite bookstore, flipping furiously through each novel unfortunate to be within eyesight, never truly looking at any of them. Him, convincing you to take him back to your little house on the edge of the city. “No, no, they’ll be fine, Iggy took them out for dinner.” Him, him and his stupid, stupid smirk. Watery apologies. Hot tears.
Noctis cursed under his breath, burning himself on the tea kettle. You were too busy cleaning to pay the whistling any mind. As if it could distract you from what was happening. You grumbled venomously, wiping down the front of the cabinets.
“Idiot boy... So stupid.”
“I can hear you,” he bit back, clicking the burner off.
“Good!” You slammed the bottle of disinfectant down, chest burning with rage. “I have spent all day getting over you. I had locked you away in my head and thrown away the key. I had resolved to never, ever let myself think about you in that way ever again because you are the prince and you are marrying the Oracle and ending this godsforsaken war. I threw away the CDs you made. I meditated for hours hoping some semblance of peace would grace this wretched house, just for a moment. I bought vegetables for dinner because damn it, I just wanted to make something green for once, holy shit-”
“You threw away the CDs?” he interrupted softly.
You spluttered, gesturing wildly. “That... that is what you’re worried about!? Noctis, you are getting married. You are supposed to be in Altissia, eating scones, trying on tuxedos, mingling with royalty, and forgetting about ME.” You released the rag from your death grip and choked on a sob. “You’re supposed to be forgetting about me...”
He stepped towards you, lips parted to say something.
“No, don’t. If you come over here, if you come over here and touch me, all of this pain will have been for nothing. If you come over here with your stupid hair and your stupid understanding, I will fall to pieces. Noctis!” you shouted, a hand on your stomach. “Please, don’t come over here!” You were still telling him no when his arms encircled your trembling frame, still yelling obscenities when he rested his chin on your shoulder, gasping sobs breaking up your tirade as he eased you to the floor. You clawed at his forearms, chest heaving. “...please.”
“I’m sorry,” he crooned, pressing his lips to your jaw. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”
“You’re not supposed to love me...” you whined pitifully to the ceiling, voice cracking.
“And yet here I am,” he murmured into your hair. The two of you sat on the kitchen floor for what seemed like ages, you crying into the crook of his elbow, nuzzling against his thumb as he stroked your cheek, your eyes puffy, throat raw. Halfhearted bawling turned into silent acceptance and you closed your eyes, listening to him hum something soft into your ear.
“Noctis...”
“Mm?”
You sat up, wiping your face off on your shirt before facing him. “Will you... stay with me? Tonight?” He scratched his head and glanced at the clock. “I... You know I can’t sleep.” Insomnia, the irony not lost on either of you. You generally slept well into the day, working late nights. But when Noctis was around, you managed to sleep more soundly. He was safe.
“I don’t-”
“Just... stay.”
Ignis was going to be furious, but... how could he say no to that tear-stained face? “Yeah... I’ll stay.” He stretched, massaging his arms. “Come on, let me help you up,” he said, offering his hand. He led you to the bedroom, hands on your shoulders. The shushing sound of your feet dragging on carpet was almost deafening in the dark house.
“...didn’t throw ‘em away.” You crawled onto the bed, cool sheets caressing your face. The mattress squeaked beneath you as you turned to see Noctis flipping your alarm clock over, dimming the bright turquoise light it cast across the room.
“What?”
“I didn’t throw the CDs away...” Noctis brushed a few stray bits of hair out of your face and smiled.
“...you know I have to leave first thing in the morning.”
“I know,” you sighed sleepily, tugging at his arm. “Dawn.”
“Yeah... Dawn.” He collapsed into the bed next to you, noting the lack of stars outside. Camping with the others wasn’t his cup of tea, but how could you dislike that view? “Hey, did you take your pill?” You were already drifting off, the stresses of the day taking their toll. Noctis dug around in the nightstand for the little bottle with your sleeping aid in it. You hardly took it except when necessary because it knocked you out for a large chunk of the day. But he didn’t want you to wake to him leaving. “Here, take your pill,” he ordered gently, pressing it to your lips. Your eyes fluttered open, confused.
“I don’t need it.”
“I will wake you up if you don’t.”
“Then wake me up.”
His brow furrowed sadly. “Just... take the pill. Sleep. Have one good night’s rest. I will be here until dawn.” You assessed his open palm, the tiny yellow pill front and center. With a small quip about royalty always being so demanding, you swallowed it dry, settling back into your blanket cocoon.
“So, dawn.”
“Mhm,” he replied, making circles on your back.
You winced, trying not to cry again. “You’ll be in Altissia by midday, then?”
“That’s the plan.” He stopped his ministrations and sighed. “You don’t hate me, right?”
You shook your head, eyelids heavy with the promise of sleep. “Never, Noct...”
He nodded slowly, resting his head on his arm. “I never meant for this to happen.”
“Just sleep,” you whispered, trailing off into an airy whimper. “I don’t hate you.”
“You should,” Noctis thought aloud, tucking the blankets in around you.
Night came and went, the sun cresting over the city, peeking through the buildings as it rose. A sharp, golden light pierced Noctis’ subconscious and he awoke, a flurry of “fuck fuck fuck” tumbling from his mouth. It had to have been almost midday, sun pouring into the house, casting shadows along the wall. “Iggy’s gonna have my head,” he hissed, tying his laces into what could be consider knots. He heard mention of the signing ceremony on the radio in the car on the way here and Noctis needed to be in Altissia and shaking hands with diplomats before his father was told of his resurfacing in Insomnia. The Regalia wasn’t the most discrete car. Noctis ground to a halt, remembering you dozing peacefully beside him. Looking over his shoulder, he saw you sprawled out, deep, deep in your dreamworld, finally. Your hands were fisted around his jacket, face buried in the cloth. “Keep it...” He smoothed his hand over your calf and withdrew quickly. “From another time,” he mused, grabbing his cell phone. The prince left your house, closing the door quietly behind him, already trying to push the thought of your silhouette under the bedclothes aside. You were no longer his. You were no longer his...
Hazy, hazy darkness crept over the bedroom. Blinking the grogginess from your eyes, you rolled over, hand searching for the prince, finding nothing but open air. He left... before dawn. “You liar,” you spat quietly, wiggling farther into the blankets. Your eyes fell on his jacket, crumpled up on your pillow. He so loved that jacket... He would never have left it on accident. You drew it to your chest and bit back a sob, already feeling sleep tugging at you gingerly. It was strange, though, that the medicine hadn’t done its job. Your eyes closed almost of their own accord and you didn’t fight the welcome fuzziness it brought. In and out of consciousness, you peered out from under the blankets, a faint rumbling shaking the house. The headboard clattered against the wall, drawing you out of the fog for a moment. Your bedroom window was alight with a fierce orange, growing brighter by the minute. You closed your eyes, breathing softly.
“Dawn.”
#sfw#angst#tw: medication#noctis lucis caelum#ffxv#final fantasy xv#ffxv request#noctis x reader#final fantasy xv: kingsglaive#final fantasy 15#final fantasy reader insert#noctis
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Time of Your Life
Pairing: Harry Holland x Protagonist (brief, planned), Tom Holland x Protagonist (main, planned)
Synopsis: Jacob Batalon’s youngest cousin (Protagonist) is now – as of August – 18 years old. At the nearly-ripe age of 17, she accompanied her cousin to the Spider-Man: Homecoming premiere where she grows acquainted with the younger crowd of the star-studded cast and – most importantly – piques the interest of two Holland boys, Harry (who’s the same age) and Tom (who’s three years her senior).
Author’s Note: TOM HOLLAND AND HARRISON OSTERFIELD FINALLY MAKE THEIR WAY INTO THIS STORY WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO. In other news, this is kind of lengthy because it goes into a whole story about the protagonist’s school crush, Jake, and how much of an ass he is and how the Holy Trinity helps her forget the douche, and yeah. Such excitement!1!!!!! If you like stories about girls getting over fuckbois, read this!!!!!
Trigger Warnings: Protagonist has somewhat of a breakdown, there’s mentions of suicide but they’re brief (not even central to the plot)
Word Count: 2,992
Part I // Part II //Part III: The Holy Trinities
In which the protagonist learns of the two holiest trinities out there: Intellectualism, False Hope, and Loneliness; Tom Holland, Jacob Batalon and Harrison Osterfield.
My role in student government (ASB) was plain and simple as the Attorney General. Like the Attorney General of the United States, I basically represent the ASB in conflicts and preside over the “legal” aspects of clubs, such as the drafting of their charters and other procedural duties. Each day I’d be allowed to leave Study Period fifteen minutes early to assume my position at the front desk of the Student Government office and consume my lunch before parents, staff and students came barging in with worthless questions and futile threats.
Study Period was with Vicky, Sam, Imani and Carlos in Mr. Rosenblatt’s class that day, and we noticed that he was unusually irked with us. Normally, he’d pull up a sixth chair whenever First Period classes served as Study Period homeroom and openly prattle on with his favourite students, but that he didn’t seem quite in the mood. Neither did I, after Third Period, in between.
I’d already had a whole block period – two hours – of the four of my friends jabbering about how, technically, if the premiere was going to supplant my prom experience, Harry Holland could be my “date,” and I’d grown sick of it. On top of that, during Third Period AP Calculus, I’d dozed off after the sugar in the Slurpee wore on me. Jake was in the class with me and, just like in Mr. Rosenblatt’s class, he sat across the room from me. Instead of ignoring me, his chair was perfectly positioned to give him a spectacular view of my drool dripping onto my textbook and the scaly calculator imprint on my cheek when I finally woke up from that glorious slumber.
Jake had somewhat of a laugh and a smirk and a snigger, with dark coiffure of John F. Kennedy, Jr. volume. His lips were thin and his eyebrows the polar opposite, but somehow the lines of hair above his eyes remained symmetrical and tame. When he turned to the side, his profile was perfectly chiselled – his jaw and cheekbones formed a perfect triangle-like dip when he would suck his cheeks in, and his nose was big but not too big. And he had light brown skin, the perfect mixture of his father’s and mother’s. It was miraculous that this was what my mental capacities generated with a lack of sleep, and even more of a blessing that Jake was laughing more to himself that to his friends who were perplexed by rotations problems.
This reel of Jake’s amusement from my struggle to stay awake replayed and replayed in my head as I was fighting my anxiety to saunter towards Mr. Rosenblatt. Jake sat in the chair closest to his desk and the wall, so he had a perfect view of Mr. Rosenblatt on his desktop and anyone who came up to ask him questions.
As I approached Mr. Rosenblatt I saw Jake’s head perk up a little. His phony attentiveness became clear as his eyes skimmed lines of Shakespeare and averted to me. The brown circles rested on the left corners of his eyes as his smirk curled on the right side of his mouth. Indubitable eavesdropping done by the prettiest boy in school, and it was on my conversation.
I cleared my throat: “Mr. Rosenblatt?”
“Yes, Ms. Maja,” he scrunched up his nose like a little mole rat. Mr. Rosenblatt kind of looked like one but no one scrutinized his looks because we all knew he had breast cancer, and for our class, he’d missed the most days for chemotherapy. It fell under some cardinal sin to give him shit because he was dying.
“I just wanted to ask if I could go to the ASB right now instead of later,” I prefaced. “I finished part of the CRQ’s in class but I wasn’t feeling well in calculus –”
Jake deadass cackled.
“Uhm, Jake?” Mr. Rosenblatt inquired. “Do you have anything to contribute to this bilateral conversation?”
“I’ll make it trilateral by letting you know that Maja did indeed fall into a deep slumber in calculus and I watched it from an admirer’s distance,” Jake’s charmingly apprised our teacher and caused Mr. Rosenblatt to chuckle along with him.
“Well, if that’s the case Ms. Maja, I’ll let you go to the ASB. It must be quieter there,” Mr. Rosenblatt was right. Everyone was still in Study Period and no parents, staff nor students could pester those in the office until lunch.
I felt all heat escape from my face as I turned a pale colour and dragged myself back to my seat to get my things. I reached for my backpack as Vicky asked, “Hey, where are you going?”
“The ASB,” I said. I yanked my bag from the back of my chair and tossed it over my shoulder. My right hand shoved the door open when she exclaimed that all of them would join me; I used my foot as a door prop and said in a stern tone, “No. I’m gonna take a nap in the beanbag in the back office. I can’t talk.” I didn’t even have to fake being tired. A yawn escaped me at the perfect time.
“Oh… ok,” she said, taken aback. Somehow she and the others couldn’t put two and two together, that I was stressed above all things about this even though it was a month away, and if I really thought about it, it a few weeks away, and if I really, really, really wanted to torture myself, I’d realize that it was three school weeks away, right after exams.
Study Period was only about thirty-five minutes, so I had twenty minutes of napping time in total. Ideally I’d use the fifteen minutes to gather lunch, but seeing as I’d stopped by 7-11 earlier I bought myself some Hot Cheetos and a Caesar Salad to serve for my afternoon meal. I did, however, trot to the vending machine outside the office to get a blue Gatorade.
When I came back I popped my salad open and ripped the chip bag and dug in. The bell rang and I heard all the eager underclassmen literally racing each other to the lunch lines. I rolled my eyes and disturbed the desktop in front of me, launched Google Chrome and opened Twitter, hoping to find some interesting articles.
The door swung open after a good ten minutes, while I was enjoying a New Yorker article by Jia Tolentino, who disparaged some book by Ivanka Trump. Lo and behold, it was Jake; lo and behold, I was stupid and almost choked on my salad.
“Oooh,” he teased. “Just the Attorney General I wanted to see.”
“I’m the only Attorney General,” I sassed.
“I know, I know,” he knew then that he’d be more circumspect in his statements. “I’m in the same AP Government class with you in Preston’s room. I gotta know how this shit works, right?”
He slammed his hands on the counter in front of me, stood on the tips of his toes and peered down at my screen. “God, you’re such a nerd,” he poked. “Always reading some dumb shit that’s not so dumb.”
He let the balls of feet drop back to the ground, placed his elbows on the counter, crossed them, and then let his chin rest on the formative lump of his hands. Jake was a south paw and his left hand overlapped his right. Always.
“Is there anything you’d like me to help you with?” I questioned.
“Yeah,” he had that smirk again, which oozed of a sort of brazenness and insolence that made me cower behind my laptop. “I want to take Sami to Prom.”
Everything by my eyes were completely frozen, and they gave him an icy glare.
“Not your Sam,” this was a gratuitous reply. “Sami the soccer player.”
I
knew her – she was just as tall as I was (5’8), a bit more fit than I was (she was a tri-sport athlete, I merely did swim), was blonde (I could never compete there), and popular.
“And?” I’d no idea why he needed to tell me this.
“I just felt like I needed to tell you,” he teased.
Contrary to the strong woman I believed to myself to be in that moment, I was on the verge of tears. This was kind of brutal.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he went back on the tip of his toes again and looked at me over the screen. This time he was sterner and his rosy cheeks of douchebaggery faded into the pallor of a self-aware asshole. “I was just shitting around. Don’t cry. This is like sophomore year all over again when I sat next to you. I don’t want to get in trouble with the ASB Dean for making the Attorney General cry so just.. j-just..” he started laughing to himself again, as one would laugh in a surreal situation.
I swiveled farther away from him. Thank god for swivel chairs.
“Look, I’m trying not to be an asshole here, okay? I’ve been meaning to tell you this since last week. I figured Sam’d already told you because she was right behind me when I said it –”
My nostrils flared and my pupils shrank.
“Yeah, I know she knew and I know you know. I was only entertaining the thought of asking you, even went so far and thinking what it’d be like to have you as a date. You can fill in the rest. But I didn’t not ask you because I was judging your friends. I didn’t ask you because I don’t want to be the asshole who leads you on.”
As intense and painful as this moment was for me, I did my best to relive it just to clarify to myself that there was no yelling, no melodrama. Jake said this to me in hushed tones in a span of ten minutes and left.
The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Fifth period AP Chem was just god-awful. Carlos was there with me and I didn’t feel like filling him in on Jake or letting him copy my quiz on poly-atomic ions, so I walked up to the front of the class while our teacher, Ms. Romualdez, was lecturing and moaned to her about how I had to go to the nurse. I was a depressed, sobbing mess and needed to go home no matter what. She understood, and all twelve other kids in the class understood in respectful silence. And even though I was annoyed with him, Carlos was gracious enough to walk me to the front office, where Nurse Kelly was.
Nurse Kelly was the most neglectful nurse to ever make a cameo in my life. She dutifully attended to students who had more tangible sicknesses, but when a mentally distraught child came in, she was notorious for simply calling their parents and asking if they were stable enough to walk home. Granted, though she wasn’t a therapist or psychologist, she could have at least done more to help people who were sick of high school, as most people should for the sake of the youth. However, on this specific day, I wasn’t having it. I needed her sloppy caretaking to get me a pass off the premises of Hell and back into my bed. And she happily obliged.
When I got home, my mom was so concerned about me. She cupped my face in her hands and screamed at me, “Don’t tell me you tried to kill yourself, please, not like that one girl we read about when you were in middle school!”
“Phoebe King? What? Mom, mom no!” I ripped myself from her grip and started marching up the stairs. “Mom, just leave me alone, I started crying because I didn’t get any sleep last night and I don’t understand Chemistry and equivocation in Macbeth!” I was already in my room when I screamed this last part: “I’M SO STUPID I HAVE TO USE NO FEAR SHAKESPEARE ON SPARKNOTES BECAUSE I HATE THE FOOTNOTES!”
My face sank into my pillow and my body relaxed as I fell into an effortless nap – a nap where you can’t forge an entire plotline in your dreams and can only remember the climax of whatever your soul told you mind to project. I felt like I was enjoying it until my phone rang. It was a Facetime video call from Jacob.
“Hey, Cuz, he greeted me. His face was at the center of the screen and I could tell he was looking down at his phone. I didn’t think he was at his house because I didn’t recognize the color and texture of the ceiling. “How ya doing? Tita (Aunt) told me that you had a shitty day.”
“Oh yeah,” I rolled my eyes and sniffled a little. I saw my face in the little screen thing and saw that my eyes were ridiculously puffy and red. “I just told her I had a shit time at school.”
“Hey, man you know me, I dropped out of college and now you’re our only hope. Ya gotta become a doctor or something,” he joked, “because if anyone had a brain like yours and didn’t do anything with it, that’d be a waste.”
I smiled. Jacob always lifted me up when I felt like I wasn’t enough for the world academically, so he had a bunch of canned pep talks that would get me to cheer up no matter how incompatible they were with the situation I was in. My self-deprecation was, to Jacob, the root of all evil, so everything could be cured if he tried to talk that down. I had to stop him here, though, because this wasn’t an academic struggle or an inadequacy. I felt heartbroken because of a boy.
“It’s not because of school being hard or anything, it’s just that Jake pulled an asshole move on me today,” and so I went through the motions of everything, with Jacob barely making any interjections like “daaaaaammmmnnn” like he does in interviews. He’s an all-around attentive person.
“So it’s because you’re too smart for him,” this wasn’t a question he was asking, it was a fact.
“I guess. If you want to put it that way. He made fun of me from the get-go about me being bookish. Always thought I was an undercover college student,” I chuckled and sniffled at the same time. “But like, I feel like I’m experiencing the Holy Trinity that all the nerd girls go through in high school: intellectualism, false hope and loneliness.”
“Aw,” I heard a voice say from the background.
“Wait – am I on speaker?” I asked.
“Uhhhhh….” Jacob was collecting details to build a story as to why we weren’t talking in confidence.
“Kuya (brother, older male cousin)!” I screamed. “Who is that?”
“Listen, Maja, I’m so sorry but my Beats ran out of battery and your mom really pressed me to call you, and you know you’re like a sister to me and I thought you tried pulling some weird shit in school so I called you and –” Jacob’s phone was snatched from his hand. It flipped onto the faces of two white guys – one shirtless with a killer jaw and brown eyes and the other in a black v-neck shirt, blond hair and powdery blue eyes.
“Hey, Maja,” the one on the right with the blond hair greeted me with an awkward wave. He had a deep voice that rung out in an English accent, and he pronounced my name with the stress in the first syllable: “Maaw-huh.”
“Hey,” the other one waved shyly.
“This is Harrison, but you can call me Haz,” the blond one smiled.
“And I’m Tom, and you can call me Tom,” he laughed lightly at his joke before he realized the gravity of the situation as Jacob walked into the shot from behind them.
Jacob placed his arms around Tom and Haz and sighed. “You said you experienced the ‘Holy Trinity’ of high school, but we’re the Holy Trinity from Spider-Man and we’re here for you.”
“Yeah,” Harrison – I mean Haz – added. “We hope you don’t mind that Jacob’s been talking to us about you, and all that’s been happening regarding your attendance at the premiere.”
“But – but we didn’t know about all this stuff about this other Jake until now, darling” Tom interrupted. “That wasn’t at all expected and we’re sorry. Jake’s Beats did die and we were in the hotel room with him and we can’t go out because there’s a mob of fans trying to take a peek at the Spider-Man suit –”
“Shut up, Tom, she doesn’t want to hear this!” Haz exclaimed.
Tom. As in Tom Holland.
Harrison. As in Harrison Osterfield.
Spider-Man and his lovely assistant were joining forces with my cousin to cheer me up.
“Well, the point is, darling, is that we’re excited to finally meet you at the premiere and we’re going to do our best to make sure you have a damn good time that you can rub in that arsehole Jake’s face.”
“Yeah,” Jacob nodded along. “And Tom, you can cuss, you know.”
Tom looked quizzically at Jacob.
“It’s just weird hearing you say ‘arse.’ You’re not a euphemistic kind of guy in hotel rooms, usually,” Jacob giggled.
“Jacob, I’m talking to a lady. More importantly, your little cousin,” Tom explained.
After a few awkward exchanges of excitement and anticipation, we ended the video chat (well, I did, because Tom had the phone in his hands and didn’t know how to end the call).
“Dammit, how do I turn it off?” he yelled as Jacob, Haz and I laughed.
“Bye!” I waved at the camera and hit the red button. Back to my home screen. All I could think about was how stupid I was for not screenshotting the video call for proof that I’d spoken with Tom and Haz.
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SHINee World V in Dallas
ho boy. y’all. Y’ALL. that’s right i said y’all it’s dallas hello
i don’t know where to start. ok no wait yes i do. @ikimashou and i had front row center seats. FRONT ROW. CENTER. let me tell you, it was absolutely insane. i could touch the stage with my hand. I WAS TWO FEET AWAY FROM THE STAGE.
so i’m at center stage, glowing taemin sign and lighstick in hand. alanna has her glowing jonghyun sign, we’re so ready. and then it begins.
Here is my long ass fan account. i’m so sorry. i wanted to write everything so i never forget. ps i’m a taemin stan so......... yeah i wrote a lot of things about taemin.
hitchhiking begins, we’re ALL chanting “OH OHHHH O-O-O-O-OH” and then the curtain rises and SHINEE IS STANDING RIGHT THERE. I WAS F;KAJSD;FLKJ;S SCREAMINGGGGGGGG
y’all know taemin is my ult bias #2 right so like. i see him and i just got this crazy adrenaline through my veins like he was RIGHT THERE. key start singing and taemin sings after that and i fucking lost it. i lost. it. i was going SO HARD. SO. HARD.
y’all they were right. there. two feet away from me. i could see the beads of sweat on their faces. holy shit. hoooooly shit.
so for a full week before the concert i practiced the fanchants because i was slacking in that area, so the next song was why so serious and I WAS FUCKIN READY
LEE JINKI KIM JONGHYUN KIM KIBEOM CHOI MINHO LEE TAEMIN
onew was just an absolute joy and ray of sunshine to see, especially up close.... just the sun itself.
MINHO WAS HIS USUAL DASHING PRINCE SELF. holy shit i can close my eyes and picture minho two feet away from me spittin some rhymes i consider myself ultimately blessed.
KEY. key looked at alanna and i at one point. :) he’s always so sweet and super sassy and his silver hair was ON POINT
ahhhh jonghyun................................... what a fucking TEASE holy shit he looked so good but more on that in a minute
oh my god i’m so happy i got black hair soft bub taemin hair holy shit he was incredible and beautiful up close. it was absolutely insane i know i just keep going on about how close i was but it was just... mind blowing. they were all so beautiful.
ok so like by song 3 alanna had like..... i don’t even know like 10 eye contacts with jonghyun????? i don’t even know. that boy was all over her and her glowing jonghyun sign that boy LOOKS FOR HIS SIGNS MAN
after song 3 when alanna started freaking out next to me i wouldn’t even pay attention to her and ask her “WHAT WHAT” like i knew what. jonghyun, that’s what. there was no need to ask.
ahhhh juliette was the 3rd song and man... i’ve been listening to that song since 2009 man JULIETTE HOOOOOOO~~~~
also juliette has a hard fanchant at the end THE NAMES ARE OUT OF ORDER BUT I MASTERED IT AND CHANTED IT LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT
LEE JINKI LEE TAEMIN KIM JONGHYUN CHOI MINHO KIM KIBEOM SHI-NEE
okay. replay. i fucking. bawled. i had to stop, i couldn’t speak and suddenly i was just a wreck. i was shaking and my eyes were a waterfall and i was just a hiccupping collapsed mess. on the one hand i hope shinee saw how emotional i got because that song is like.... it was my first shinee song, it was shinee’s first song... i’ve been listening to replay for 8 years. it just ALWAYS gets me. on the other hand, i don’t want to burden shinee thinking i’m upset so I hope they didn’t see me. they were happy tears. the happiest tears.
then it was ment time and i’m like okay. this is the time when they’re gonna start looking around for real at their fans. with my glowing taemin sign in hand i was ready.
ok sad points coming up. taemin was.............. i felt like he was not truly himself at this concert. i know he’s been sick since the start of their japan tour AND jet lagged. i could just... tell he wasn’t havin it last night.
i rarely saw him smile, he was mostly straight faced, averted gazes with the fans.... or i guess I should say me. i’m not being salty, i’m just truly sad. front row and holding a glowing taemin sign, it was obvious that he saw me. but i think i made eye contact with him like... 3 times. and 2 out of those three times he would make eye contact and then immediately look away.
i know he’s super shy :( i could tell he was in general at this concert but.... i didn’t get the feeling he was having a great time, and that broke my heart. i tried to give him as much encouragement as i could throughout the concert, shouting “taemin you go boy” and stuff like that.... waving at him whenever his eyes started getting close to mine. but... :(
during the ring ding dong-lucifer combo songs he was having major trouble with his ear pieces and like... MAJOR PROPS TO HIM because he just went “fuck it” and danced and sang without his ear pieces in. those are some INTENSE DANCES and those chords were swinging around at lightning speed. at one point taemin like flicked his wrist really really fast and hard in frustration over them and i just wanted to like.. pause time and help him untangle his chords so he wouldn’t be frustrated.... idk i wanted to give him a big hug.
now i’m not harking on him at ALL because like I said before.... i know he’s not feeling well and also tired. i’m purely just sad that he might not have enjoyed the dallas concert as happily as I had wished him to. even so, i think dallas really really showed him our love.
so needless to say throughout the entire concert i was looking at taemin for the most part, but mostly it was out of worry. i can’t help it i’m such a mama bear
okay MOVING ON FROM SAD TAEMIN THINGS
key’s gucci got burned holy shit quote of the night
THE FANBOY THAT WAS AT THE FANMEETING FROM LAST JULY AND JONGHYUN AND KEY AND ALL OF SHINEE RECOGNIZED HIM I WAS SCREAMING
“yeah and my gucci got burned” taemin: “i’m not talking about that” SHUT DOWN
Hello~ hello~ not many people knew the fanchants for this song so i remember minho gently trying to teach us the fanchants. after verse 2 though he gave up, but IT’S OKAY MINHO I GOTCHU I WAS DOING IT. was very nice to hear that he knows the fanchants though, you know? i know the artists are always so focused on performing, i always wonder how much of the fans they hear.
PRISM. PRISM. HOLY SHIT. PRISM. the butt part. you know the part. yep. again front and center. view. yep. i dropped my lightstick. i’m not kidding. key’s butt and taemin’s butt are really nice up close.
SPEAKING OF BUTTS i got a good view of all of them HO BOY. LET ME TELL YOU. they have some nice butts. taemin’s was really cute is that even a thing to say? it was really cute.
MINHO’S WAS NOT CUTE. NOPE. THOSE SPARKLY BLUE JEANS DID NOT HELP.
ODD. EYE. i’m pretty sure i made slight eye contact with taemin at this part? i think??? at the part where they sing “youuuuu” and outstretch their hands in a square. idk. fuckin odd eye was so subtley sexy
FEEL. GOOD. there’s this part in feel good where they like..... thrust and arms come down to their crotch really fast and like. taemin was right in front of me at that part. and i died. i seriously. like stumbled a little bit? my legs legit could not hold me up i squatted or something i don’t even know
okay. it happened. taemin’s solo. GOODBYE. MORE LIKE..... GOODBYE RACHEL. when this song came out i was shook. when taemin competed on hit the stage and introduced his dance for this song. i was. S H O O K. this song and dance mean something very special to me. and here taemin comes out SHIRTLESS. AND IT’S HIS SOLO STAGE AND I. i lost it. i. lost it. i almost cried. maybe i did cry? i lost track. i was just mesmerized by him but also hyping him up so much. i’ve watched fancams and i just see me in the front waving my lightstick up and down as high and low as my arm goes.
HE WAS SO CLOSE THO OMFG AT THE END WHEN HE FALLS TO THE GROUND AND YOU HEAR “GOODBYE” HE WAS TWO FEET AWAY FROM ME I SWEAR I MAYBE COULD HAVE REACHED OUT AND TOUCHED HIM
also HE HAS A TUMMY AND THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. i mean don’t get me wrong his abs were NIIIIIICE but. soft tummy. soft tummy makes me so incredibly happy.
RING DING DONG RING DING DONG RING DIGGY DING DIGGY DING DING DING
my lifelong dream has been to scream “fantastic elastic” at the top of my lungs and i achieved that dream
also MORE FANCHANTS THAT I ACHIEVED I WAS SO PROUD
ring ding dong went into lucifer and BOY THAS MY JAM I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO THAT SINCE IT FIRST CAME OUT STEP ON ME
i think the boys could definitely hear our fanchants at some points. i know they definitely could for the major hits :’) which is great because fanchants are so rare in america, most kpop concerts here no one knows the fanchants
i got real emotional at “don’t let me go” i don’t know why... i just really love that song and got super into it and was singing so passionately along with them and i hope they saw me because i was like close to tears
(by this point i’m going out of song order i forgot what it was) sherlock was absolutely amazing, it’s one of my favorite shinee dances, and holy shit it was just incredible to see up close.
we all got SO HYPE at ready or not, jumping up and down. i went hARD. SO FUCKING HARD AT THIS SONG and everyone was jumping!!!! .... except for taemin. again, he wasn’t feeling well so he kinda just... expressed his excitement less exuberantly.
i don’t remember much about savior except pointing at onew as he sang PLEASE. BE. GENTLE. god fuck me up.
VIEW!!! EVERYONE KNEW THE FANCHANTS FOR VIEW AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. one of my absolute favorite shinee songs, it meant so much to me to see it live and for everyone to participate. i KNOW shinee heard us on this one and it was so great NOMU AREUMDAUN DAUN DAUN DAUN VIEW SHI-EE-NEE
EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this was it. this was the song i was WAITING FOR. the dance is just SO INCREDIBLE and they’re all SO AMAZING in this song i was so SO SO HYPE. i think i screamed almost the loudest i have in my life singing along to this. AND!!! so many people knew the fanchants!! which was amazing because it’s one of the more complicated ones?? but i’ve watched lots of fancams and people are chanting the names at the beginning, i’m so impressed with dallas shawols. THE PART WHERE THEY ALL GATHER TOGETHER AND ONEW IS SPINNING HIS ARMS AT THE BACK. that part. that’s the part i screamed so hard, my head started to hurt, it felt like my brain was expanding........ man i went so hard.
then there was the pause before the encore. we were supposed to sing love sick but.... :( that fanchant didn’t happen. everyone just started chanting “SHINEE SHINEE SHINEE” which is okay i guess. i wanted to sing love sick :(
1 of 1 omg. they came out in their outfits and taemin was in that yellow suit and (i saw a lot of great butt views) and alanna and i were screaming the fanchants so loud. not many people knew them but i’m POSITIVE shinee heard us few scream them. WE GOTCHU FAM. i love 1 of 1 sooooo fucking much. it made me so incredibly happy. also taemin. fucking owned this song. i hyped him up so much “GO TAEMIN GET YOUR LIFE YAAAAAAAAAS TAEMIN”. lots of that.
:’( the ending ment was so short. all of their ments were so short. i wanted them to speak longer. :( but they were so sweet.
key’s english is on point. he is SO FLUENT. D’:
minho spoke so well too!!!
onew and jonghyun didn’t really speak too much english but that is OKAY they spoke beautifully.
taemin’s so shy speaking english holyyyyyyyyyy i about lost it at his shyness
and then..... it was time for the last song... an encore. oh yes. i cried. ohhhhhhhh yes. so many tears. shoutout to my makeup setting spray for keeping that shit in place because i didn’t look like a mess by the end of the night somehow???? so many tears were shed.
okay. i fucking swear this happened. i feel it in my bones and soul. the last line of an encore, jonghyun sings “gyeolguk irwojineun du juingongcheoreom”. at the very end, when he was singing “cheoroem” ~so softly~.... the LAST LINE OF THE LAST SONG OF THE SHOW..... he looks down into my eyes and holds my gaze as he sings that and finishes singing. i..... i froze up. i just.... i had to hold his gaze, he just froze me in place as he looked into my eyes as he finished singing. i can’t begin to describe how incredibly greatful i am to have shared that moment. i can’t..... i just wanted to write it here. i have nothing to say, i’m getting emotional writing this. all i’ll say is i can picture his gaze perfectly in my mind.
and then the curtain was lowering and they stood there and i looked at taemin for the last time as long as i possibly could and then his face was covered and then his whole body was covered and then he was gone and shinee was gone and i fell into my seat and started crying.
AND THEN THEY HAD TO GO AND PLAY THAT VCR OF THEM WORKING HARD AND IT SAYS “THANK YOU & LOVE YOU” AT THE END AND THAT. THAT WAS IT. I LOST IT. i know i said i lost it a lot in this but i really lost it that time. because they were gone and it was over and it went by so fast and it was heaven :(
now i don’t have much of a voice left and am left with SEVERE post concert depression and don’t know what to do with myself. all day i’ve been sitting here just....... doing nothing. also i had to say goodbye to alanna again and i cried for that too.... back to long distance friendship again.. so everything’s over and everyone’s gone and i’m just sitting here like “holy shit did that even really happen”.
the end
#shinee#shinee world in dallas#shinee world v in dallas#shinee world v#taemin#onew#jonghyun#minho#key
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