the more I look up Henry Cavill the more confused I am. What do you mean he's not technically english. What the fuck is jersey. What do you mean he was almost edward cullen. What do you mean he was in Stardust (2007) and no one recognized him. How the fuck do you lose a role to Liam Hemsworth?? How do you lose both your biggest roles in like a week anyway? What was that ugly ass haircut in argylle. What do you mean he dated a 19 yr old at like 32. Whats wrong with this guy.

Chris Demakes and Roger Lima from Less Than Jake (TW: Sexual harassment/SA/stalking)

PART 2: In 2011 I attended Warped Tour and was invited to come hang out at the BBQ. Less Than Jake had a bar set up backstage and were playing bartender. Chris was completely wasted and stumbled over to me and said “I’m getting desperate here, will you bl*w me?” and my response was “um…what? Excuse me!”. He repeated himself and I told him now, so he stumbled off. Later I saw him taking a couple of girls who looked barely legal onto the bus with him. The following year I attended one of their shows and ran into a friend of mine at the bar after the show. Chris and Roger were hanging out as well as some other friends and fans of theirs. Drinking and shooting the shit.  The four of us plus my friend’s friend hung out for a little bit after before they invited all of us to come see them the following night. My friend and I ended up going but when we got there things were kind of off. We were sitting at a bar and Chris approached us. He took my friend to go chat alone and he made her think he was interested in her. For months she and I didn’t talk and then I finally found out what happened. Chris convinced her to cut me off and that he was in a relationship with her up until he ghosted her.  She was devastated. We started talking again and she told me everything about how manipulative he is. She apologized and I forgave her. Sometime later we were at a bar on a trip and were playing on our phones when we stumbled across a whole post about Chris on the now defunct website The Dirty. Whoever posted it was talking about how gross and creepy he was. We left a comment that only said #MeToo. That was the last time I went to one of their shows. Later I started hearing rumors that Chris had spread about my friend through a mutual friend. I told her that Chris was telling everyone that she slept with him and she swears up and down that never happened. I believe her because Chris is known to lie a lot.

Occasionally they played a festival I was at and I would stay far away from the stage during their set and actively go out of my way to avoid them especially Chris. At pretty much all these festivals as soon as he caught wind that I was there he’d come find me somehow. If people were around he would hug me and act like we were bff. When no one was around he would say really disgusting things to me like he “wanted to have unprotected buttsex with me”. No matter what it was blatantly obvious he was making me uncomfortable. The last time I was at a festival they played I thankfully did not run into any of them but saw them doing a meet and greet from afar. One of my best friends walked by their table and flipped Chris off during this. I love her for that! Now years later I am strongly thinking that Chris was salty after I rejected him at Warped Tour 2011 so he went around saying I did something that never happened. This would explain why Roger started avoiding me after that. I have not and would never do anything with Chris or Roger. Less Than Jake, mostly Chris and Roger remind me of those creepy frat dudes in college that thought they were cool. Like "let's throw a keg party and try to score with chicks" but come off extremely creepy. Also things like Chris telling people he hooked up with girls that rejected him and starting gross rumors.

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 158

Chapter Summary - Danielle and Diana look after Lucy and talk over a few things. 

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

Copyright for the photo is the owners, not mine. All image rights belong to their owners

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade 

Tom could not help but erupt in laughter at the picture that was sent to him, so much so, people around him looked at him startled, for which he had to apologise.

Emma had been gone for four hours from her home and in that four hours, she had contacted Danielle eight times to check on Lucy, which Danielle informed him of but not in a snide or ridiculing manner, merely a comment in general conversation. To settle Emma's anxiety at being away from her eight-week-old daughter for the first time exceeding two hours, Danielle had taken to taking pictures of the infant to send her mother to show Emma just how calm and relaxed her daughter was, leaving out the fact that Lucy did have a good cry for herself at realising that though she knew the smells of the two women that were caring for her, neither of them were her mother but she settled in the end, thanked mostly by Danielle's idea of the muslin cloth that Emma had used earlier and it having Emma's smell. She also changed her shirt to one she told Emma to wear the day before so that she could settle Lucy better, it seemed to have worked, Lucy was content overall. For all of the pictures, Danielle had a method of telling the time on-screen to show Emma that she was okay. Some of the pictures were of Lucy sleeping or drinking a bottle of expressed milk Emma had left. One was one that Emma had actually sent Tom of Danielle and an awake Lucy both looking at the television, the cycling race on with intense focus on their faces. That one made Tom worried about Danielle's issue with maternal urges. She looked entirely comfortable and content in the picture. But there was one picture, which, going by the message that accompanied it was done entirely in jest, of Lucy, looking a little startled and looking to the side with a still image from the raptors in the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park as the background. It was so ridiculous and silly that it was hilarious, causing Tom's loud laugh in the Wimbledon centre-court food tent that earned the worried looks from those around him, including a momentary startling of the royal bodyguards. Emma enjoyed the picture also, apologising to Danielle for being such a worried but Danielle dismissed her and told her she was more than happy to give her peace of mind.

Danielle, for her time, was spending time watching her cycling, dealing with Lucy and cooking some food to freeze for Emma and Jack since Jack was working full weeks and Emma was still learning to juggle Lucy and her home. She showed Diana the picture she altered that she sent Emma resulting in her erupting in laughter that Danielle knew well was almost identical to the way Tom laughed, something she loved, him having clearly gotten it from her.

She used Lucy's naps as times to sort of few things she knew Emma wanted sorting in her home, including putting up a shelf. As she did so, Diana looked at her almost in awe. “You are a very capable woman, I would not have been able to do that in my day.”

“My Mam was forced to know a lot because Dad would be working the most of the time, especially in the Spring,” She explained as she screwed in the piece of wood in. “And of course, I was there with her, so I learnt a bit from her.”

“What do you think she would make of all of this?”

Danielle sighed. “They'd be really excited. She'd have rung everyone and anyone. Dad and she would have probably come over for a few days because of it. Dad insisting on going for a whiskey with Tom, of course, and I would have her here talking about the finer details of things with us.” Her smile fell slightly and she bit her lips together as she thought of her parents and how they would be elated at her and Tom getting engaged. “I am really going to miss having them for this. This is the first big thing that not having them here for it will hurt. I mean, moving to England was a big thing, I know but I'd probably never have done that if they had been alone and I did it to her away from home. Plus my getting my career, as great an achievement as I know it is, was not like a college graduation or anything, marriage and a family were the ones I felt that if they happened, would be the hardest and being honest, knowing I don't have them for it really hurts and is the only thing I feel is missing from this wonderful event.” Tears began to well in her eyes. “I am so grateful to have you and Emma, I swear but…”

“Don't worry, I understand,” Diana assured. “I have the honour of being here for my girls’ weddings, and for my two granddaughters, I cannot imagine how lonely it feels to not have your parents here sometimes, I wish you had them but not having them here now brought you to our family and gave my daughter a true friend, my son a partner who truly loves and appreciates him and me a lovely neighbour and soon-to-be daughter-in-law.” Diana hugged Danielle close to her, Danielle almost gripping her too tightly. For a moment, Danielle felt like she couldn't let go, Diana said nothing but held her, knowing that Danielle required the contact. It was when Lucy informed them that she woken again that Diana rubbed Danielle's back for a moment and pulled back. “You are an incredible young woman, Elle Hughes and we love you so much. Knowing that you and Tom are taking this step together is wonderful and we are so happy for both of you. We always saw you like family, this only makes it official.”

Danielle said nothing as she went and got Lucy out of her cot, talking gently to her as she changed her, making her smile as she cleaned the mess she had made of herself and bringing her to her grandmother, who had used the time to ready a bottle, curling Lucy against her as she did and loving the smell of young baby against her, knowing it would do her hormones no good yet loving it all the same.

*

“All alone?” Tom turned around to see Benedict smiling at him four feet away.

“Apparently babysitting a goddaughter is far more interesting than tennis.” Tom beamed at his friend, embracing him in a hug. “How are you?”

“Good, how were the few weeks on the south coast? You look as though you went on holiday to the Caribbean. And if Danielle is that excited to mind children, there's two more she can look after any time she is willing.” He smiled.

“Don't say that to her, she already adores those boys. She is wondering when she can spoil them again, apparently, Christmas and birthdays are not enough.”

“You'll have to just bite the bullet and give her one,” Ben joked.

“Not yet.”

“Again with 'yet’, I suppose if you want to do it the conventional way, you're still a few steps off that.”

“We're going through them though.”

“You need to get a ring on that finger, that's the next one.”

Tom could only laugh at Ben's words. “No, I don't.”

“Yes, you do. I mean, Sophie and I did it a little skew-ways but...what's with that grin?”

Tom only continued to grin widely. “Are you and Sophie free any time this week?”

“We have a few things on, would a breakfast work someday, usual place?”

“No, not public, ours.”

“Wait, she's not pregnant, is she?” Ben inquired in a low voice.

“Not that I am aware and going by the swim she did yesterday, I don't think she is aware either if she is.”

“Then why the privacy?” Again Tom smirked. “Tom?” Tom's grin increased. “You've asked her, haven't you?” Tom gave a slight nod. “And?”

“She said yes.”

Ben's face went through the several phases from shocked to elated before he embraced his friend tightly. “Congratulations,” he whispered. “I…fucking hell, congratulations.” he chuckled.

“Thank you. You're the first to know outside of families.”

“Luke?”

“Tomorrow, face to face.”

“Mum's the word,” Ben promised. “Sophie will be delighted. I’m thrilled for you both. How is Danielle with it all, especially with that weird Irish thing of waiting so long?”

“She’s good, she seems incredibly happy with it all, we're talking about next summer,” Tom explained.

“That’s a long time.”

“A year is long in some respects, short in others. If that's what she feels comfortable with, then I am more than happy to wait. Just having her agree is enough at this stage. She…”

Benedict chuckled heartily. “It's great to see you this happy, Tom, it really is,” he clapped his shoulder before the tannoy informed them that the match was starting. “I had best go, I told my father I would be quick. Where are you?”

“Royal box.”

Ben laughed for a moment. “I bet Elle got a kick out of that. We will arrange breakfast one of the days do, check if Thursday works.” He declared as he walked to the stands to watch the match leaving Tom to grin before turning to take his seat.

Rachael Denhollander’s college-aged abuser began grooming her when she was 7. Each week, as Denhollander left Sunday school at Westwood Baptist Church in Kalamazoo, Mich., he was there to walk her to her parents’ Bible-study classroom on the other side of the building. He brought Denhollander gifts and asked her parents for her clothing size so he could buy her dresses. He was always a little too eager with a hug. The Denhollanders led one of the church’s ministries out of their home, which meant the man would visit their house regularly, often encouraging Rachael to sit on his lap, they recalled.

The man’s behavior caught the attention of a fellow congregant, who informed Sandy Burdick, a licensed counselor who led the church’s sexual-abuse support group. Burdick says she warned Denhollander’s parents that the man was showing classic signs of grooming behavior. They were worried, but they also feared misreading the situation and falsely accusing an innocent student, according to Camille Moxon, Denhollander’s mom. So they turned to their closest friends, their Bible-study group, for support.

The overwhelming response was: You’re overreacting. One family even told them that their kids could no longer play together, because they didn’t want to be accused next, Moxon says. Hearing this, Denhollander’s parents decided that, unless the college student committed an aggressive, sexual act, there was nothing they could do.

No one knew that, months earlier, he already had.

One night, while sitting in the family’s living room, surrounded by people, the college student masturbated while Denhollander sat on his lap, she recalls. It wasn’t until two years later that she was able to articulate to her parents what had happened. By that point, the student had left the church. Moxon was furious that her church community hadn’t listened. But she never told anyone what had happened to Rachael. “We had already tried once and weren’t believed,” Moxon says. “What was the point?”

Today, Denhollander can see how her church, which has since shut down, failed to protect her. But as a child, all she knew from her parents was that her abuse had made their church mad and that she wasn’t able to play with some of her friends. She blamed herself — and resolved that, if anyone else ever abused her, she wouldn’t mention it.

And so when Larry Nassar used his prestige as a doctor for the USA Gymnastics program to sexually assault Denhollander, she held to her vow. She wouldn’t put her family through something like that again. Her church had made it clear: No one believes victims.

Across the United States, evangelical churches are failing to protect victims of sexual abuse among their members. As the #MeToo movement has swept into communities of faith, several high-profile leaders have fallen: Paige Patterson, the president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, was forced into early retirement this month after reports that he’d told a rape victim to forgive her assailant rather than call the police. Illinois megachurch pastor Bill Hybels similarly retired early after several women said he’d dispensed lewd comments, unwanted kisses and invitations to hotel rooms.

So many Christian churches in the United States do so much good — nourishing the soul, comforting the sick, providing services, counseling congregants, teaching Jesus’s example, and even working to fight sexual abuse and harassment. But like in any community of faith, there is also sin — often silenced, ignored and denied — and it is much more common than many want to believe. It has often led to failures by evangelicals to report sexual abuse, respond appropriately to victims and change the institutional cultures that enabled the abuse in the first place.

Without a centralized theological body, evangelical policies and cultures vary radically, and while some church leaders have worked to prevent abuse and harassment, many have not. The causes are manifold: authoritarian leadership, twisted theology, institutional protection, obliviousness about the problem and, perhaps most shocking, a diminishment of the trauma sexual abuse creates — especially surprising in a church culture that believes strongly in the sanctity of sex. “Sexual abuse is the most underreported thing — both in and outside the church — that exists,” says Boz Tchividjian, a grandson of Billy Graham and a former Florida assistant state attorney.

As a prosecutor, Tchividjian saw dozens of sexual abuse victims harmed by a church’s response to them. (In one case, a pastor did not report a sexual offender in his church because the man had repented. The offender was arrested only after he had abused five more children.) In 2004, Tchividjian founded the nonprofit organization Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE), which trains Christian institutions in how to prevent sexual abuse and performs independent investigations when churches face an abuse crisis. Tchividjian says sexual abuse in evangelicalism rivals the Catholic Church scandal of the early 2000s.

Diagnosing the scope of the problem isn’t easy, because there’s no hard data. The most commonly referenced study shows how difficult it is to find accurate statistics. In that 2007 report, the three largest insurers of churches and Christian nonprofits said they received about 260 claims of sexual abuse against a minor each year. Those figures, though, exclude groups covered by other insurers, victims older than 18, people whose cases weren’t disclosed to insurance companies and the many who, like Denhollander, never came forward. In other words, the research doesn’t include what is certainly the vast majority of sexual abuse. The sex advice columnist and LGBT rights advocate Dan Savage, tired of what he called the hypocrisy of conservatives who believe that gays molest children, compiled his own list that documents more than 100 instances of youth pastors around the country who, between 2008 and 2016, were accused of, arrested for or convicted of sexually abusing minors in a religious setting.

The problem in collecting data stems, in part, from the loose or nonexistent hierarchy in evangelicalism. Catholic Church abusers benefited from an institutional cover-up, but that same bureaucracy enabled reporters to document a systemic scandal. In contrast, most evangelical groups prize the autonomy of local congregations, with major institutions like the Southern Baptist Convention having no authority to enforce a standard operating procedure among member churches. This means researchers attempting to study this issue have to comb through publicly available documents.

That’s what Wade Mullen, the director of the M.Div. program at Capital Seminary & Graduate School, did as a part of his PhD dissertation. He collected reports of evangelical pastors or ministers charged with a crime in order to understand how evangelical organizations respond to crisis. Over 2016 and 2017, Mullen found 192 instances of a leader from an influential church or evangelical institution being publicly charged with sexual crimes involving a minor, including rape, molestation, battery and child pornography. (This data did not include sexual crimes against an adult or crimes committed by someone other than a leader.)

His findings help explain a 2014 GRACE report on Bob Jones University, one of the most visible evangelical colleges in the country. The study showed that 56 percent of the 381 respondents who reported having knowledge of the school’s handling of abuse (a group that included current and former students, as well as employees) believed that BJU conveyed a “blaming and disparaging” attitude toward victims. Of the 166 people who said they had been victims of sexual abuse before or during their time at BJU, half said school officials had actively discouraged them from going to the police. According to one anonymous respondent, after he finally told the police about years of sexual abuse by his grandfather, a BJU official admonished him that “[you] tore your family apart, and that’s your fault,” and “you love yourself more than you love God.” BJU officials declined to comment for this article.

After he finally told the police about years of sexual abuse by his grandfather, a BJU official admonished him that ‘[you] tore your family apart, and that’s your fault,’ and ‘you love yourself more than you love God.’

That same year, 18 volunteers, staff members and interns at the Institute in Basic Life Principles (including many underage girls) accused its founder, Bill Gothard, of sexual harassment, molestation and assault. Gothard had enormous sway over a small but tight-knit collection of evangelical home-schooling families around the country. One of those families was the Duggars, stars of a TLC reality television show. Josh Duggar, the eldest of 19 kids and former executive director of the conservative Family Research Council’s political action group FRC Action, lost his job after reports that he molested four of his siblings and a babysitter as a teenager. For years Duggar’s abuse stayed hidden as his parents and an Arkansas state trooper — now in prison himself on charges of child pornography — declined to disclose the crimes. (The suit against Gothard was dropped. Duggar’s actions are now outside the statute of limitations. Neither responded to requests for comment.)

Sovereign Grace Churches (SGC), an influential chain of congregations, many located on the East Coast, allegedly failed to report sexual abuse claims during the ’80s and ’90s to the authorities and caused secondary trauma to victims through pastoral counseling, according to an extensive investigation by Washingtonian magazine. In one instance, an SGC pastor allegedly told a wife whose husband sexually abused their daughter to remain with him. When she asked how she could possibly stay married to a man attracted to children, she was told that her husband “was not attracted to his 11-year-old daughter but rather to the ‘woman’ she ‘was becoming.’ ” Two years into the husband’s prison sentence, SGC pastor Gary Ricucci wrote in support of his parole using church letterhead, and the church welcomed him back to the community after his release.

The wife no longer attends. Asked to comment on these episodes, SGC Executive Director Mark Prater emailed a statement: “We encourage all of our churches to immediately report any allegations or suspicions of abuse to criminal and civil authorities, regardless of state law or the passage of time.” He cited a program implemented in 2014, the “MinistrySafe child safety system,” that teaches member churches how to deal with reports of abuse. Ricucci — who, like other local pastors, does not answer to SGC officials — did not respond to requests for comment.

The evangelical defense of God-fearing offenders extends to the political realm. Franklin Graham, CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, said President Trump’s “grab them by the p—y” comments and other crude language didn’t matter because “all of us are sinners.” During Roy Moore’s recent Senate campaign, a poll conducted by JMC Analytics of likely Alabama voters found that 39 percent of evangelicals were more likely to vote for Moore after multiple accusations that he’d initiated sexual contact with teenagers when he was in his 30s. “It comes down to a question [of] who is more credible in the eyes of the voters — the candidate or the accuser,” Jerry Falwell Jr., president of the evangelical Liberty University, said at the time. “… And I believe [Moore] is telling the truth.”

Jerry Falwell, left, president of Liberty University, said he believed Senate candidate Roy Moore instead of the women who accused him last fall of sexual misconduct. Moore, right, lost a special election for Senate in Alabama late last year after several women said he had made sexual advances toward them when they were teenagers and he was in his 30s. (Falwell: Alex Wong/Getty Images; Moore: Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post)

It was the same message 7-year-old Denhollander heard: Stay silent, because the church won’t believe you.

Why are so many evangelicals (who also devote resources to fighting sex trafficking or funding shelters for battered women) so dismissive of the women in their own pews? Roger Canaff, a former New York state prosecutor who specialized in child sexual abuse, tells me that many worshipers he encountered felt persecuted by the secular culture around them — and disinclined to reach out to their persecutors for help in solving problems. This is the same dynamic that drove a cover-up culture among ultra-Orthodox communities in New York, where rabbis insisted on dealing with child abusers internally, according to several analysts.

But among evangelicals, there is an added eschatological component: According to a 2010 survey by the Pew Research Center, 41 percent of Americans believe that the end times will occur before 2050. In some evangelical teachings, a severe moral decay among unbelievers precedes the rapture of the faithful. Because of this, many evangelicals see the outside world as both a place in need of God’s love and a corrupt, fallen place at odds with the church. (“New Secularism is an attempt to undermine and destroy Christianity,” warned a headline in Christian Today a few years ago.)

This attitude could explain the 2017 case of an assistant pastor at Agape Bible Church in Thornton, Colo., who was convicted and sentenced to 13 years in prison for repeatedly sexually assaulting an adolescent girl. The police investigation revealed that church leaders and the girl’s father agreed not to contact the police because the “biblical counseling” received within the church was sufficient to handle the case. According to an officer who interviewed the father, “His interest was in protecting the church and its reputation more than protecting his daughter.”

Partly, church leaders tend to circle the wagons out of arrogance. “I’ve worked with churches across the theological spectrum, from fundamentalist to progressive,” Tchividjian says. “They say: ‘I’m the man God’s placed in charge. I have the Bible. I know how to handle this.’ ”

But another, less visible problem is the overall attitude toward sex. Sexual sin is talked about constantly, and extramarital sex is considered a heinous moral lapse. (A student at Patterson’s seminary who told him she’d been date-raped was disciplined for being in the man’s room) It stands to reason that churches don’t want to air an epidemic of wickedness among their flocks.

When congregants believe that their church is the greatest good, they lack the framework to accept that something as awful as sexual abuse could occur within its walls; it is, in the words of Diane Langberg, a psychologist with 35 years of experience working with clergy members and trauma survivors, a “disruption.” In moments of crisis, Christians are forced to reconcile a cognitive dissonance: How can the church — often called “the hope of the world” in evangelical circles — also be an incubator for such evil? “Christians must decide whether to give into the impulse to minimize the disruption of the abuse, or let themselves see a serious problem in their community and deal with it,” Langberg says. “It’s when they find out if they truly believe what they say they believe.”

As an adult, Rachael Denhollander once again found herself at the center of one of these disruptions. The church she attended, Immanuel Baptist in Louisville, was actively supporting former SGC president C.J. Mahaney’s return to ministry. Mahaney had been asked to step down from his role in 2011 because of “various expressions of pride, unentreatability, deceit, sinful judgment and hypocrisy.” In 2012, a class-action lawsuit held that eight SGC pastors, including Mahaney, had covered up sexual abuse in the church. Mahaney and the SGC claimed vindication when a judge dismissed the lawsuit for eclipsing the statute of limitations. In 2016, Immanuel Baptist Church repeatedly invited Mahaney to preach at its weekend services.

Denhollander says she told her church’s leaders this was inappropriate, as Mahaney had never acknowledged a failure to properly handle allegations of sexual abuse under his leadership. But the church ignored her, and when Denhollander went public with accusations against Larry Nassar in the Indianapolis Star, a pastor accused her of projecting her story onto Mahaney’s. When she persisted, he told her she should consider finding a new church. (Maheney did not respond to requests for comment.)

“It is isolating and heartbreaking to sit in a church service where sexual abuse is being minimized,” Denhollander says. “The damage done [by abuse] is so deep and so devastating, and a survivor so desperately needs refuge and security. The question an abuse survivor is asking is ‘Am I safe?’ and ‘Do I matter?’ And when those in authority mishandle this conversation, it sends a message of no to both questions.”

At an untold number of Christian churches and institutions, the silence on sexual abuse is deafening. Statistically, evangelical pastors rarely mention the issue from the pulpit. According to research from the evangelical publishing company LifeWay, 64 percent of pastors said they talk about sexual violence once a year, or even less than that. Pastors drastically underestimate the number of victims in their congregations; a majority of them guessed in the survey that 10 percent or less might be victims. But in 2016, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 1 in 4 women (women make up approximately 55 percent of evangelicals) and 1 in 9 men have been sexually abused. There is no evidence suggesting those numbers are lower inside the church.

Those who do publicly preach on sexual abuse are often stunned by the response. Kathy Christopher, a pastor to women at Christian Assembly Church in Los Angeles, first spoke on the topic while sharing the story of her own abuse. Immediately, fellow survivors opened up about their experiences, Christopher says. “Sadly, my story was not an unusual story. It was heartbreaking to see how many people needed to talk about this trauma in their past.”

When a judge sentenced Nassar for molesting hundreds of young girls, Denhollander was there; she spoke at length in the courtroom, reminding Nassar that the Christian concept of forgiveness comes from “repentance, which requires facing and acknowledging the truth about what you have done in all of its utter depravity and horror, without mitigation, without excuse, without acting as if good deeds can erase” it.

It was a word of warning for a community that, writ large, has been complicit in minimizing or enabling rape, molestation and emotional abuse within its walls. Denhollander also said that one of the prices she paid for calling out Nassar was losing her church, referring to her experience at Immanuel Baptist.

When the pastors there saw Denhollander’s statement, they began to understand the damage they had done. In a statement released by email this week, the board said the church had sinned in its treatment of the Denhollanders and had sought their forgiveness. (Denhollander says she accepts the apology.) Officials also said that SGC pastors will no longer be speaking at their church while accusations against them remain unanswered. “In the last few months God has increased our sensitivity to the concerns of the abused,” the statement reads. “He has called us to look at our own shortcomings as pastors. He has allowed us to seek and receive forgiveness from those we have failed.”

Immanuel Baptist Church faced a choice, the same one before many American churches today: Face the sin in their midst and make the church a place that follows the biblical command to care for the powerless and victimized — or avoid the disruption and churn out another generation of silenced victims who learn, like Denhollander did, that the church isn’t safe.

Manga and Women: Buying Manga for School Libraries in the #MeToo Era

When I talk to other school librarians about manga and anime, many of them voice a similar concern: the manga they see has horrible treatment of women. These are not invalid concerns, especially as school librarians are working to make their collections more inclusive and affirming. And when students are requesting series that depict sexual harassment and assault as comedic occurrences (I'm looking at you, Seven Deadly Sins), or at the very least, series which treat women solely as sexual or romantic beings, I can't blame my colleagues for their hesitation.

That said, there's a lot to unpack with this debate. There are elements of Japanese society that are inherently different from American society. Many school librarians also know nothing of the distinctions between genres of manga, or have only heard of what's most popular among their patrons. Manga is often seen as the way to get boys reading, and so masculine titles tend to be extremely popular for purchasing. What I'm going to do is try to unpack these things, piece by piece, to try and provide some context- and maybe show my peers that the stereotypes of shōnen manga are not all there is out there to purchase.

Societal Differences in the Perception of Gender

If we all work from the supposition that gender is a social construct, then perhaps it might be easier to understand that Japan's constructs are similar and different to Western constructs. Japanese media can come across as being both freer and stricter with gender roles. Here are a few things you need to understand about Japan in relation to women:

Japan is ranked 110 out of 144 countries on the World Economic Forum's annual report on gender equality.

There is only one female member of the Japanese Cabinet.

As of 2017, only 3.4% of executives in Japan were women.

The ratio of female-to-male physicians in Japan is 21%.

Japan has been trying to improve the standing of women in society, but it's been difficult.

Japan has a long history of having a traditional gender balance of labor wherein women are expected to raise children and take care of housekeeping, while men are expected to work. Japanese society generally has a very heavy line down the center in this division, much more so than there currently is in the West. Since 1986, the Equal Employment Opportunity Law has been in place to try and provide more gender equity in the workplace in Japan, but it's been a struggle. Part of the problem is that there was no penalty for employers who did not adhere to the changes.

Japan, also, has a serious problem with the way it handles and reports sexual harassment and assault. Certain occurrences which Western women consider assault are not necessarily seen as such by Japanese women. In her article, "Shifting attitudes toward sexual violence in Japan", Masami Ito describes her experiences:

When I was in junior high school, a young man who lived in the same apartment building flashed me in an elevator, blocking the entrance as he did so.

When I was in college, a middle-aged man cornered me in the box seat on a train and masturbated in front of me.

When I was in my mid-20s, a man pressed himself against me in the aisle of a convenience store and then followed me home. I had to call my father for help that time.

And, of course, I have been groped on trains many, many times.

Until recently, I never considered these incidents to be sexual assaults, nor did I ever view myself as a victim. I told myself that such things happened all the time and I was never physically hurt. I compared my experiences to those of other women and I considered myself lucky.

In Japan, there's even a word for men who grope women on crowded trains: chikan. Tokyo's Metropolitan Police Department reported 1,750 cases of groping on the trains. (I attempted to find figures on this particular crime in NYC from the same year, but was unable to find any exact report of figures.) It's such a common occurrence, it's often a plot point in manga. In My Love Story!! the protagonist meets his future girlfriend by stopping a man from groping her.

I want to be clear, and maybe the panels of My Love Story!! do something to show this, that the problems of sexual harassment in Japan are seen as problems by people in the country. There are Japanese feminists and citizens who want things to change. Last year, the BBC released a documentary titled Japan's Secret Shame, which went into the experiences of three different women who were raped in Japan. It's not available at the moment, but if you can find a way to see it, it may give insight into the issue if you want to know more.

Shōnen, Shōjo, and So Much More

The complaints I hear the most are in relation to what is known as shōnen manga. Shōnen is geared toward boys between ages 12 and 18. There's a reason this stuff flies off the shelf with our male-identifying patrons: it's literally made for them. The longest running series in Japan are shōnen manga, and are household names here in the West (you've probably heard of Dragonball Z, I presume). Typically, these are high-action, hyper-masculine stories. And while there are exceptions, such as My Hero Academia, there's a large history of "fan service" in shōnen. There's also some pretty big issues with some of the creators of shōnen titles.

For example, the author of Rurouni Kenshin was found with an enormous backlog of child pornography DVDs. Not only did he have this material, he admitted his attraction to young girls. His manga is currently still in publication, after he paid a fine of only ¥200,000 (about $1,800 USD). No, I am not joking.

I don't want you to come away from this thinking shōnen manga is evil, by the way. What I want is for fellow school librarians to know that what they're seeing is just a fraction of what manga has to offer. Some shōnen has female protagonists (Yotsuba&! features a mostly female cast with little to no fan service, as its main character is a child). And a lot of women and girls read shōnen.

Shōjo manga is the counterpart to shōnen: manga written for girls between the ages of 12 and 18. Honestly, shōjo can have its own issues. Some titles feature girls whose identities revolve solely around romance or a desire to get married and make babies. Kidnapping and threats of sexual assault can be normal (the idea being that these girls need to be saved by their boyfriends, who frequently are much older than them). There's a whole slew of manga revolving around schoolgirls having romantic relationships with their teachers. So, I also don't want you to think that being labeled shōjo makes the content automatically appropriate for students.

I recently reread a manga I loved as a teen, Ayashi no Ceres. It featured multiple rather explicit sex scenes and the main character dropping out of school to have a baby. It was an easy decision to select other series over that one, although I still consider it a classic. I leave it to students to select series with those sort of themes at their own pace through alternate pathways such as the public library, bookstores, or manga apps.

However, I do want to point out that shōjo manga is a category in which feminine fantasy and identity is often at the forefront. And while this is the case, there are many shōjo manga which widely appeal to boys. Titles which spring to mind are Escaflowne and Magic Knight Rayearth.

There are other categories as well: seinan (for adult men), josei (for adult women), kodomo (for children), and gekiga (for adults, with a more "artistic" and "literary" reputation). The differentiation between adults and teens has more to do with the difficulty of the Japanese than the content or target demographic. Gekiga is probably the most "different", because it strives to be taken more seriously. (I have a plan to talk more in-depth about each category in their own posts).

Look For Women

When purchasing, if you are looking to move away from the pure moe that is popular among certain titles, I'd suggest looking for women who are mangaka. The likelihood that problematic behavior will be present is lower, and honestly, women creators can always use the boost. Series that are beloved by boys are written by women: Fullmetal Alchemist, Inu-Yasha, and Ranma 1/2 are examples (admittedly, the latter two were both written by Takahashi Rumiko).

Note: I kept this fairly pared down, so if you'd like to know more or have any questions, please don't hesitate to comment. If you would like me to go more in depth on any topic, please let me know, and I will do an expansion in a future blog. I have some deeper dives planned, but if I know of a direction people specifically want me to go, I’ll tackle it.

Does the naked body belong on Facebook? It’s complicated - more lifestyle

When is a photograph of nude bodies artistic or titillating? A woman’s exposed nipple a political statement or erotica?A video of childbirth might show genitalia. Should what someone considers a celebration of life be censored?In 1964, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart declined to define what constitutes obscenity but famously added, “I know it when I see it.”In the 21st century, does Facebook?The social media behemoth is in a well-publicised struggle to address hate speech, extremism, abuse and misinformation on its services - which together serve nearly 3 billion people worldwide.At the same time, it’s been retooling its policies on nudity. It’s tweaking its original heavy-handed policies to account for modern nuances around gender identity, political speech and self-expression, employing thousands of people and quickly evolving artificial intelligence for the task.But some of its users — including activists, sex therapists, abuse survivors, artists and sex educators — say policies at Facebook and its Instagram service are still too vague and unevenly enforced. They say their work is being unfairly censored, condemning them to “Facebook jail” with no warning and little, if any recourse.And it’s no small matter for them. Artists can be suddenly left without their audience, businesses without access to their customers and vulnerable people without a support network. And it means that a company in Silicon Valley, whose online platforms have become not only our town squares but diaries, magazines, art galleries and protest platforms, gets final say on matters of free speech and self-expression. It’s deciding what “community standards” should be for billions of people around the world.“Instagram really is the magazine of the world right now. And if artists are being censored on Instagram it’s really dangerous for freedom of speech and openness when it comes to the body and art,” said Spencer Tunick, a photographer known internationally for his shoots assembling masses of nude people.Tunick says that more recently he’s found his work “shadow-banned” by Instagram, which has become a crucial tool for artists to showcase their work. His post weren’t removed but aren’t readily visible to users.Of course, there’s near-universal agreement that child exploitation and non-consensual images don’t belong on social networks. Pornography probably doesn’t either.Facebook’s monitoring systems do a better job with nudity than with hate speech, extremism and misinformation. After all, a butt is a butt and a nipple is a nipple. But deciding when a nipple is art, porn or protest gets murky even when humans are doing the deciding. Teaching AI software about human sexual desire is a whole other ballgame.From its start as a college photo directory and social network, Facebook banned nudity. Over the years, as Facebook’s audience grew bigger and more diverse, the ban loosened. The company instituted exceptions for breastfeeding women, for images of post-mastectomy scars. Birthing videos are now allowed, as are photos of post-gender reassignment surgery.“We had this policy that said no genitals on the platform,” said Kim Malfacini, the Facebook product policy manager who oversees how the company’s community standards are developed. “Until two years ago there were no exceptions to that.”But the reviewers began seeing photos and videos women shared about their childbirth, she said. Based on the letter of the policy, those had to be removed. Malfacini said she joined Facebook around this time and began speaking with midwives, doulas, birthing photographers and others to carve out an exception for images of childbirth even though they show genitalia. Now, the images come with a warning screen; users can click through to see them.Most of the photos of unclothed children on Facebook are posted innocently by parents sharing vacation photos on the beach or kids in a bath. Sometimes these parents get a warning. Malfacini sometimes speaks to them.“They have no idea that those photos could be abused,” she said.With child nudity, Facebook is more conservative. Over the age of 3, girls can’t be topless. Boys can.It may be that, the way some bars ask anyone who looks under 40 for ID, Facebook is being extra conservative in setting the line so there won’t be any gray areas. For parents of girls, though, this can feel sexist. Should Facebook ban all photos, then, of children without a shirt? Until what age? How will it verify when the kids turn 18?“It’s a challenge,” Malfacini said.Even with carefully thought-out policies, enforcement can feel arbitrary and the consequences lasting.Dawn Robertson started her women-empowerment campaign, “Grab Them by the Ballot,” before the 2018 U.S. midterm elections. She wanted to inspire women to vote, especially in light of the MeToo movement and growing restrictions on abortion. She organized women to pose nude, covered only by strategically placed ballots, props and hashtags.The photos catch the eye, not just because the women are naked but because we are still unaccustomed to seeing images of flawed, unretouched bodies. These are women with wrinkles and fat and tattoos and unretouched skin, a wheelchair here, pregnant belly there — photos not meant to attract our gaze or sell a product but to defy.Then, she posted them on Facebook and Instagram. Suddenly, the campaign took off, though much of the attention was from right-wing publications such as Breitbart, Robertson said.“All of a sudden, it was just insane, the negative feedback we got,” she said. “Facebook banned my personal account.”Robertson said she’s been banned on and off since starting her campaign. When that happens, she couldn’t delete racist and sexist comments that were posted on her group’s page. She got no warning, or reason why she was banned, though she figured it was for nudity. That is even though Facebook allows nudity in some cases, including for political activism.Other services are dealing with the issue in their own way — Twitter is generally more freewheeling and Tumblr only recently banned adult content — but none have the heft and size of Facebook’s family of services.Lori Handler, who works as a “sex and happiness coach,” first found herself in Facebook jail two years ago, when she posted a photo of someone doing naked yoga on her page. She couldn’t comment on anything or send private messages.“I have four business pages and a personal page,” she said. “And when something goes down and I can’t post, I am out of business for a month.”Artists have staged protests and pleaded with Facebook. Some have found other platforms to show their work, but they say the company’s sheer dominance in online communications makes it difficult to have the same reach.“What we are trying to do is open the gate somewhat,” said Svetlana Mintcheva, director of programs at the National Coalition Against Censorship, which has asked Facebook to reconsider its ban on photographic nudity. “The human body is not this horrible, scary, traumatizing thing. It’s a beautiful thing.”But beauty has been historically a tricky thing to define. Which means Facebook’s stance on nudity will likely continue to shift.“No policy is set in stone,” Malfacini said. “On any given policy, we are in some process of revisiting some part of it.”(This story has been published from a wire agency feed without modifications to the text.)Follow more stories on Facebook and Twitter Read the full article

radical eschatology and 1Q84

i wrote this as a goodreads review, but i couldn’t fit the whole text there so this is the review in its entirety.

“‘lunatic’ means to have your sanity temporarily seized by the luna, which is ‘moon’ in Latin. In nineteenth-century England, if you were a certified lunatic and you committed a crime, the severity of the crime would be reduced a notch. The idea was that the crime was not so much the responsibility of the person himself as that he was led astray by the moonlight. Believe it or not, laws like that actually existed… I learned it in an English literature course at Japan Women’s University, in a lecture on Dickens. We had an odd professor. He’d never talk about the story itself but go off on all sorts of tangents.”

I think a lot of my writing on this site consists of meandering tangents, only obliquely related to the book at hand — though less useful and interesting than this literature professor’s in 1Q84. Either way I will stick to what I’m comfortable with here. I will start with why I read this obscenely large book. My high school friend who was recently married, hosted a birthday party at a new place he moved into in Etobicoke. I arrived half-an-hour late from the time it was supposed to start (according to Facebook), and was the first one there — which is some indication of the sort of company I keep. As I awkwardly sat around after a brief house tour, he poured me a drink, and we chatted about life and my terrible job. He suddenly exclaimed, “Oh, I almost forgot. There’s something I want to lend to you.” He skips up the stairs and comes back down with a large phone book. On its front cover: a face hiding behind the characters “1Q84” — maybe embarrassed by its bloated constitution. This will help you on your daily commutes from hell, he encouraged me.

I’ve heard that your first Murakami book has a good chance of becoming your favourite Murakami book. That was probably the case for me with “Kafka on the Shore”. I think that book put me onto Kafka, before I would later encounter him in the work of Walter Benjamin, Judith Butler, and his late communist ‘wife’, Dora Diamant. But subsequent Murakami books were not as satisfying for me. After reading Norwegian Wood, I decided to try and take a break from Murakami. I had grown a little weary of the Oedipal themes, and Murakami’s recurring Manic Pixie Dream Girl tropes. Around this time, my fourth-year college roommate discovered Murakami for himself, and his first encounter was through 1Q84. He loved it, but what a book to start with, I had thought at the time. I was impressed that he ploughed right through such an enormous millstone of a novel. (I was very intimidated by its size when my friend handed it to me, but got through it in surprising time. Having now read 1Q84, I realize it was actually a very fun book to read, and often quite difficult to put down, so it now makes sense.) Anyways, I was discussing these things with my roommate and another law student who was camping with us at Sandbanks Provincial Park — she also shared similar thoughts as mine on Murakami. Conversation wandered on to Junot Diaz, who she was much more approving of — this of course was before the #MeToo revelations about Diaz. How quickly tides can turn. (Especially when there are two moons in the sky.)

So something about the structure of 1Q84. I am told the first two books are structured after the two books of Bach’s “Well-Tempered Clavier” — each chapter alternating between Aomame (major keys) and Tengo (minor keys). In each book of Clavier, Bach cycles through all twelve tones, a prelude and fugue for each tone’s major and minor keys. So each of Murakami’s chapters in Book 1 and 2 corresponds to a Prelude and Fugue in Bach’s collection of pieces — 48 chapters in all.

I admittedly have a thing for Bach. I have a copy of Gould’s “Well-Tempered Clavier” on compact disc at home. It came in a package of random shit the novelist Tao Lin gathered together from his bedroom and sold online for like $30 on eBay. That is the sort of stupid stuff I wasted my money on as an undergraduate student. Among the zines, postcard sized art prints, manuscript pages from his edits of Taipei, and a copy of “Shoplifting from American Apparel” was a disc of Gould’s “Well-Tempered Clavier”. In one of the preludes and fugues, the disc is scratched, and makes these heavenly wobbling sounds as it skips, and I have grown quite fond of these parts. I also particularly love hearing the infrequent muffled hums of Gould behind his gas mask.

Book 3 of 1Q84 is structured after Bach’s Goldberg Variations. In the past couple years, I’ve listened to this composition likely more than any other, simply because it’s one of the few albums I happened to have downloaded on my phone. It’s Igor Levit’s studio recording of the Goldberg Variations along with his recording of Beethoven’s Diabelli Variations and Rzewski’s “The People United Will Never Be Defeated”. I thought it was a clever trio to package in an album. I also recommend Lisa Moore’s performance of other Rzewski compositions put out by Cantaloupe.

I am particularly fond of Rzewski’s “People United” because it recalls for me my first May Day march, where I chanted the Chilean song (from which Rzewski’s title is derived and his piece alludes to) with other people on the street marching on the way to Queen’s Park, while students shouted ‘ftp’ at officers lined on the sidewalk. I was supposed to march with a small contingent from Student Christian Movement, but couldn’t find them at Allan Gardens, so I marched near some York OPIRG students, and in front of a communist who was debating random people the entire march, haha. I had never seen so many anarchists and communists in one place at a time. They sure do like their black and red flags, haha.

This brings me to the next comment I wanted to make. I was curious about Murakami’s politics and I had a difficult time finding a decent write-up that focuses on this, because Murakami can come across as fairly apolitical, which I think is what his ‘bourgeois individualism’ (I use that term in jest) requires of him. Anyways, I stumbled across a series of blog posts made by a Trotskyist grad student that discuss how Japanese student movement comes up in almost every single novel by Murakami, and he discusses how the student movement was a significant segment of the political left in Japan during that time.

“Some brief highlights of the student movement’s history in Japan will suffice. After the end of the war, university students oriented to the Japanese Communist Party (JCP) took advantage of the new liberal atmosphere to rally for university autonomy, for the appointment of progressive faculty and administrators, and for a student voice in administration… In 1948, students from all over Japan inaugurated the All-Japan Federation of Student Self-Government Organizations (known by its acronym, Zengakuren) with a leadership largely from the Japanese Young Communist League… However the honeymoon between the students and the JCP was short-lived… The JCP had seen the American occupation as an opportunity to complete the bourgeois-democratic revolution in Japan, which had been the Moscow-ordained task of Communist Parties the world over during the Popular Front (1936-39) and then again after the German invasion of the Soviet Union, when Communists were allied with all “liberal,” “democratic,” and “peace-loving” forces, meaning those of the ruling class.

…Student radicalism reached even greater heights as the movement entered the 1960s… In militant actions organized by Zengakuren, thousands of students broke into the Diet building twice in 1960, forcing the cancellation of a state visit by US President Eisenhower and the resignation of Prime Minister Nobusuke Kishi with his cabinet. During this period Zengakuren’s leadership was largely drawn from the “Mainstream Faction,” which had originated the federation’s opposition to the JCP, however during the late 50s the leadership was briefly taken over by students from the Revolutionary Communist League (RCL), a group formed from JCP exiles after the 1956 Soviet invasion of Hungary, which was influenced by Trotsky’s writings and would affiliate to the Fourth International. By 1964, there were three different organizations taking the name Zengakuren: the JCP supporters, the Revolutionary Marxists (a Tokyo-based split from the RCL) and a unity faction.”

There’s a lot more the Trotskyist grad student blogger (the official title I have designated to this person) goes into, but he essentially concludes that:

“I believe at this point that I have made a solid case for why Murakami, whose early books on the surface are completely apolitical, take their starting point as the destruction of the Japanese student movement, though at no point is the movement itself exactly foregrounded.”

An an earlier conclusion in his first post:

“Based on conjecture from his novels, we can assume he was around the anti-Stalinist left concentrated in the Zenkyoto groups, though he has insisted that he was never a member of any particular faction. “I enjoyed the campus riots as an individual,” he writes. “I’d throw rocks and fight with the cops, but I thought there was something ‘impure’ about erecting barricades and other organized activity, so I didn’t participate… The very thought of holding hands in a demonstration gave me the creeps.”

…Since this is all I have till I learn Japanese, I will have to take his word that he always had a rather superior, hipster attitude toward politics, which is believable enough considering his status as a graduate of one of Japan’s most elite private institutions. And yet, there is something I see in his early novels that undeniably regrets the collapse of the student movement, no matter how much he resented the factions for “impure” organizational work.”

I think Murakami’s disdain for this sort of leftist hypocrisy comes through in a particularly memorable dialogue in Norwegian Wood (which the Trotskyist grad student blogger never mentioned for some reason):

"Have you ever read Das Kapital?"

"Yeah. Not the whole thing, of course, but parts, like most people."

"You know, when I went to university I joined a folk-music club. I just wanted to sing songs. But the members were a load of frauds. I get goose-bumps just thinking about them. The first thing they tell you when you enter the club is you have to read Marx. "Read page so-and-so to such-and-such for next time.' Somebody gave a lecture on how folk songs have to be deeply involved with society and the radical movement. So, what the hell, I went home and tried as hard as I could to read it, but I didn't understand a thing. It was worse than the subjunctive. I gave up after three pages. So I went to the next week's meeting like a good little scout and said I had read it, but I couldn't understand it. From that point on they treated me like an idiot. I had no critical awareness of the class struggle, they said, I was a social cripple. I mean, this was serious. And all because I said I couldn't understand a piece of writing..."

“...And their so-called discussions were terrible, too. Everybody would use big words and pretend they knew what was going on. But I would ask questions whenever I didn't understand something. "What is this imperialist exploitation stuff you're talking about? Is it connected somehow to the East India Company?' "Does smashing the educational-industrial complex mean we're not supposed to work for a company after we graduate?' And stuff like that. But nobody was willing to explain anything to me. Far from it - they got really angry. Can you believe it?"

“...OK, so I'm not so smart. I'm working class. But it's the working class that keeps the world running, and it's the working classes that get exploited. What kind of revolution is it that just throws out big words that working-class people can't understand? What kind of crap social revolution is that? I mean, I'd like to make the world a better place, too. If somebody's really being exploited, we've got to put a stop to it. That's what I believe, and that's why I ask questions.”

"So that's when it hit me. These guys are fakes. All they've got on their minds is impressing the new girls with the big words they're so proud of, while sticking their hands up their skirts. And when they graduate, they cut their hair short and march off to work for Mitsubishi or IBM or Fuji Bank. They marry pretty wives who've never read Marx and have kids they give fancy new names to that are enough to make you puke. Smash what educational-industrial complex? Don't make me laugh!”

This passage actually reminds me of a Japanese exchange student I met as an undergraduate who was really into Murakami and used to perform folk music in her spare time. Even though she was an atheist or agnostic of some sort and really into gender studies, she used to attend an international students bible study that I used to go to at a friends’ house. She’s now doing a PhD at MIT in neuroscience, but that passage in Norwegian Wood always reminds me of her. Anyways, you can see how Murakami’s purity politics requires of him a rejection of fully embracing any comprehensive political or religious system. The individual is always of most importance to him, and I think that comes through in 1Q84 too.

Part of what gets to Murakami I suppose is the pretence involve with a lot of armchair leftists. It recalls for me a passage I read in a book about country music of all things called “The Nashville Sound” by Joli Jensen:

“Students rarely ventured into the Rose Bowl. When they did it was usually to be rowdy and to make fun of the rednecks. One night, as I was waiting tables, four fellow graduate students came in. They did not see me, and I watched in rising fury as they sneered and whispered and laughed among themselves at the people around them. These were my peers, who defined themselves as Marxists and had disdained me as a politically unsophisticated liberal humanist. They patronized me in class and were now in "my" world making fun of "my" friends. Shaking with rage, I went over to the table to take their drink order. Of course, they were stunned to find me working there, complete with sequined Rose Bowl vest, and they left immediately. I had caught them at an unseemly game. But I have come to wonder about the basis for my rage and about what it tells me about how we understand ourselves in relation to our perceptions of others.

At the time I felt superior to them, friends of the working class, indeed! and virtuous in my admiration of, and affection for, Rose Bowl patrons. Later, I began to wonder, was I really any better, turning the Rose Bowl into a mythical venue of "salt of the earth" authenticity? Is it really better to idealize and sentimentalize difference than to ridicule and disdain it? This is a poignant dilemma for the country music scholar and is becoming a topic of discussion among sociologists, anthropologists, museum curators, and social critics.”

Anyways, to move past this thoughtful navel-gazing, I want to get into a dimension of 1Q84 that I found extremely interesting. Probably my favourite part is Chapter 10 of Book 1 (A Real Revolution with Real Bloodshed), where Tengo talks to Fuka-Eri’s current guardian, a former anthropology professor and friend of Fuka-Eri’s father. Fuka-Eri’s father (Tamotsu Fukada) was an academic and Maoist revolutionary, enthusiastic about the Cultural Revolution, who gathered a number of students to start a commune in the mountains of Takao. There is a fascinating section on the splintering of the commune into a moderate faction and a more radical one:

“Under Fukada’s leadership, the operation of Sakigake farm remained on track, but eventually the commune split into two distinct factions. Such a split was inevitable as long as they kept Fukada’s flexible unit system. On one side was a militant faction, a revolutionary group based on the Red Guard unit that Fukada had originally organized. For them, the farming commune was strictly preparatory for the revolution. Farming was just a cover for them until the time came for them to take up arms. That was their unshakable stance.”

This paragraph reminds me of the case of the Tarnac Nine. It is within the realm of possibility Murakami had heard about this case, because their arrest was in 2008, shortly before 1Q84’s first books were published. There’s a commune in Tarnac that was involved in the operation of a nearby general store (Magasin General, Tarnac). Giorgio Agamben wrote a brief post on this affair describing it this way:

“On the morning of November 11, 150 police officers, most of which belonged to the anti-terrorist brigades, surrounded a village of 350 inhabitants on the Millevaches plateau, before raiding a farm in order to arrest nine young people (who ran the local grocery store and tried to revive the cultural life of the village). Four days later, these nine people were sent before an anti-terrorist judge and “accused of criminal association with terrorist intentions.””

The social theorist Alberto Toscano described the event in similar terms:

“On 11 November 2008, twenty French youths are arrested simultaneously in Paris, Rouen, and in the small village of Tarnac (located in the district of Corrèze, in France’s relatively impoverished Massif Central region). The Tarnac operation involves helicopters, one hundred and fifty balaclava-clad anti-terrorist policemen and studiously prearranged media coverage. The youths are accused of having participated in a number of sabotage attacks against the high-speed TGV train routes, involving the obstruction of the train’s power cables with horseshoe-shaped iron bars, causing material damage and a series of delays affecting some 160 trains. Eleven of the suspects are promptly freed. Those who remain in custody are soon termed the ‘Tarnac Nine’, after the village where a number of them had purchased a small farmhouse, reorganised the local grocery store as a cooperative, and taken up a number of civic activities from the running of a film club to the delivery of food to the elderly. In their parents’ words, ‘they planted carrots without bosses or leaders. They think that life, intelligence and decisions are more joyous when they are collective’.”

The Professor’s farming of Akebono (the radical offshoot of Sakigake) are framed in similar terms to the way anti-terrorist police in France portrayed the activities of the Tarnac co-op farm, as a front for revolutionary activity. Of course, if you read the Invisible Committee’s “Coming Insurrection”, allusions to such notions are elaborated on:

“Every commune seeks to be its own base. It seeks to dissolve the question of needs. It seeks to break all economic dependency and all political subjugation; it degenerates into a milieu the moment it loses contact with the truths on which it is founded. There are all kinds of communes that wait neither for the numbers nor the means to get organized, and even less for the “right moment” — which never arrives.”

But this excerpt follows a notion of the commune that is not so easily type-casted into the rural commune of Tarnac:

“Communes come into being when people find each other, get on with each other, and decide on a common path. The commune is perhaps what gets decided at the very moment when we would normally part ways. It’s the joy of an encounter that survives its expected end. It’s what makes us say “we,” and makes that an event. What’s strange isn’t that people who are attuned to each other form communes, but that they remain separated. Why shouldn’t communes proliferate everywhere? In every factory, every street, every village, every school. At long last, the reign of the base committees! Communes that accept being what they are, where they are. And if possible, a multiplicity of communes that will displace the institutions of society: family, school, union, sports club, etc. Communes that aren’t afraid, beyond their specifically political activities, to organize themselves for the material and moral survival of each of their members and of all those around them who remain adrift. Communes that would not define themselves — as collectives tend to do — by what’s inside and what’s outside them, but by the density of the ties at their core. Not by their membership, but by the spirit that animates them.”

There is a strong eschatological element in the writings of the Invisible Committee, that some radical political theologians have picked up on (e.g. see Ward Blanton’s lecture on the Invisible Committee ). Because of Julien Coupat’s arrest as one of the Tarnac Nine, the Invisible Committee has become associated with the journal Tiqqun. In “Theory of Bloom” Tiqqun is defined:

“The French rendering of the Hebrew word Tikkun, meaning to “perfect”, “repair”, “heal”, or “transform”. In rabbanical school, students study mystical texts that view tikkun as the process of restoring a complex divine unity. A tikkun kor’im (readers’ tikkun) is a study guide used when preparing to chant the Torah, or to read from the Torah in a Jewish synagogue. People who chant from the Torah must differs from that written (the Kethib) in the scroll.”

The Wikipedia article for Tiqqun says the word is derived from the “Hebrew term Tikkun olam, a concept issuing from Judaism, often used in the kabbalistic and messianic traditions.”

Murakami certainly alludes to this intersection of eschatology, theology, and politics, firstly in his narrative mechanism which has this Maoist commune turn into a secretive religious cult. He ties the religious and political in this way, but in a manner that I myself find unconvincing. Many of these co-operative farms are anti-hierarchical and I find it difficult to see, even for a commune of the authoritarian left to turn into something resembling Sakigake in the novel. Regardless, I think the intersection of radical religion and politics in 1Q84 to be a fascinating subject to explore, even if I found Murakami’s particular approach unsatisfying. There is of course an eschatological dimension that Murakami gestures towards in various chapters, often in amusing an humorous ways. One of my favourites is in the following chapter (Chapter 11):

As a woman, Aomame had no concrete idea how much it hurt to suffer a hard kick in the balls… “It hurts so much you think the end of the world is coming right now. I don’t know how else to put it. It’s different from ordinary pain,” said a man, after careful consideration, when Aomame asked him to explain it to her.

Aomame gave some thought to his analogy. The end of the world?

“Conversely, then,” she said, “would you say that when the end of the world is coming right now, it feels like a hard kick in the balls?”

Aomame was called in and instructed to rein in the ball-kicking practice. “Realistically speaking, though,” she protested, “it’s impossible for women to protect themselves against men without resorting to a kick in the testicles. Most men are bigger and stronger than women. A swift testicle attack is a woman’s only chance. Mao Zedong said it best. You find your opponent’s weak point and make the first move with a concentrated attack. It’s the only chance a guerrilla force has of defeating a regular army.”

The manager did not take well to her passionate defense. “…I don’t care what Mao Zedong said—or Genghis Khan, for that matter: a spectacle like that is going to make most men feel anxious and annoyed and upset.”

If there’s any guy crazy enough to attack me, I’m going to show him the end of the world—close up. I’m going to let him see the kingdom come with his own eyes.”

The Witnesses’ rendition of the Lord’s prayer is recurring theme that surfaces throughout the novel, and even if it is presented in a cynical manner by Murakami, I think it still evokes a particular mode of contemplation that I found interesting. The Jehovah’s Witnesses are the obvious allusion Murakami is making and their pacifism is even explicitly mentioned by Ushikawa: “They are well known to be pacifists, following the principle of nonresistance.”

Pacifism, of course, more associated with the radical Christians of the anabaptist tradition, although I have yet to encounter the connection between Jehovah’s Witnesses and Anabaptism, other than certain millenarian impulses they might share. Anyways, I think this an interesting node that Murakami marks, posing the question of violence and justice: revolutionary violence (of Akebono), assassination (Aomame’s side gig), and sexual violence (experienced by the women that the dowager tries to protect). What causes aversion to political and religious radicals, fundamentalists, etc?

Murakami’s answer is coercion and the denigration of the individual. This is epitomized in a dialogue Aomame has with the dowager, where the dowager asks:

“Are you a feminist, or a lesbian?” Aomame blushed slightly and shook her head. “I don’t think so. My thoughts on such matters are strictly my own. I’m not a doctrinaire feminist, and I’m not a lesbian.”

“That’s good,” the dowager said. As if relieved, she elegantly lifted a forkful of broccoli to her mouth, elegantly chewed it, and took one small sip of wine.

This is very similar to the sort of ideology that Jordan Petersen subscribes to. It is a ‘higher than thou’ purity politics that looks down on any sort of collective organization that betrays any sort of hypocrisy. Yet most religious traditions recognize that any sort of collective organizing is bound to live in contradiction with its ideals. Within the Christian tradition, thoughtful adherents recognize the Church as a ‘fallen’ institution composed of ‘sinners’. I think it is important to recognize and confess the short fallings of previous attempts to realize ideals while not abandoning the ideals because people that came before us have severely fucked it up. Another world is possible, and I think if we fall back into our silos of individualism we will not realize this other world. Murakami provides an almost Kierkegaardian framing of what is essentially ritual rape in the novel — and I found that disturbing, though in the realm of magical realism, I’m not qualified to make any meaningful commentary. What I will confess is that my own life betrays a certain sort of ‘bourgeois individualism’ but I have not yet reached a form of cynicism that celebrates it, and I hope I won’t anytime soon.

Anyhow, beyond these critiques, I enjoyed this novel a lot, and I think it brought up interesting questions to contemplate. I found the Proust jokes hilarious, some of the funniest moments in the book. Curiously, I have never finished reading Orwell’s 1984. I was supposed to have finished reading it for a Grade 12 literature class, but I recall that period of the semester as a tremendously busy one for me. I do intend to finish it one day soon, and Orwell’s democratic socialism is a fascinating lens through which to also examine many of the themes that Murakami explores, including those of agency and freedom. There are these strange lines in the book that I don’t quite know what to make of: 

“He leaned against the wall, in the shadows of the telephone pole and a sign advertising the Japanese Communist Party, and kept a sharp watch over the front door of Mugiatama.“

There are funnier allusions to this like:

“Have you heard about the final tests given to candidates to become interrogators for Stalin’s secret police?” “No, I haven’t.”

“A candidate would be put in a square room. The only thing in the room is an ordinary small wooden chair. And the interrogator’s boss gives him an order. He says, ‘Get this chair to confess and write up a report on it. Until you do this, you can’t leave this room.’ ”

“Sounds pretty surreal.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s not surreal at all. It’s a real story. Stalin actually did create that kind of paranoia, and some ten million people died on his watch—most of them his fellow countrymen. And we actually live in that kind of world. Don’t ever forget that.”

...“So what kind of confession did the interrogator candidates extract from the chairs?”

“That is a question definitely worth considering,” Tamaru said. “Sort of like a Zen koan.”

“Stalinist Zen,” Aomame said.

I have my own views on Murakami’s crypto-Calvinist sections, which is not unrelated to Murakami’s interwoven narrative technique, and in excerpts such as the one I opened with about the etymology of ‘lunatic’. Also, I actually quite enjoyed the way Murakami alluded to Dostoyevsky’s Grand Inquisitor passage from the Brothers Karamazov — where Satan frames miracles as a sort of spectacle when trying to tempt Christ in the wilderness. I’ve always thought that there’s certainly some Debordian comment that can be made with respect to that. In fact, the notion of spectacle, and this process of reducing agency such that we become mere spectators, is itself thematic in Murakami’s fiction, especially here. Again, it is this crypto-Calvinist notion of fate, that one’s future is already predetermined and no matter what one might try, it is inevitable. (This must be related to Murakami’s quoting of Carl Jung: “Called or not called, God is there”.) And so one becomes almost a spectator to one’s own life unfolding under the predetermined path of capital. Yet curiously, Tengo and Aomame do escape from Leader’s prophetic claim that was to befall Aomame, out from 1Q84, back up the stairwell back to the path of 1984. If only escaping from “late declining capitalism” (Murakami’s term) was that simple.

Though I had many reservations, 1Q84 was breezy read and I think that’s a testament to how fun Murakami’s writing can be, and this was one of those books where this was very much the case.

#BoisLockerRoom: Delhi schoolboy in custody over Instagram chat group sharing nude images of under-age girls

Picture Credit score: Inventory picture

Leaked screenshots of a non-public Instagram chat group, run by teenage schoolboys in the Indian capital of Delhi, have stirred up a storm over rape tradition in the nation. The group chat referred to as “Bois Locker Room” consists of Delhi schoolboys from grade 11 and 12, sharing nude and morphed pictures of underage girls, adopted by lewd discussions on their our bodies.

Indian social media customers are “shocked” on the leaked screenshots and the open graphic sexualisation and language used in the chat. And, associated hashtags have been trending since Might 3, to debate the problem.

#BoysLockerRoom: What occurred?

In an Instagram expose on Might 3, reportedly, a number of younger Indian Instagram influencers like Aashna Sharma and @Anuvaa posted screenshots from a group titled “Bois locker room,” despatched to them by a whistleblower.

The publish learn: “A group of south Delhi guys aged 17-18 types have this ig gc (Instagram group chat) named “boy’s locker room” where they… objectify and morph pictures of girls their age. Two boys from my school are a part of it. MY FRIENDS AND I ARE FREAKING OUT THIS IS SO EWWW AND NOW MY MOM WANTS ME TO QUIT IG.”

The group’s members are stated to belong to distinguished colleges in Delhi. These boys have been seen swapping footage of largely underage girls saved from their Fb and Instagram, accompanied by specific lewd feedback on their physique components and graphic descriptions of what the boys wish to do to them.

Because the influencers had shared this on Instagram tales that might not final for greater than 24 hours, some Indian netizens, copied the standing and shared them on their very own feeds for a wider attain:

Quickly, the information unfold on Twitter, too, and #boyslockerroom started trending. A number of customers even claimed to have gone to high school with some of the chat group’s members.

Step by step because the screenshots gained consideration, the group of boys who have been named, began panicking. The teenagers, as an alternative of apologising or feeling any guilt, began threatening violence, orchestrating kidnapping and belting out concepts like morphing extra footage, directed on the influencers who posted the tales and anybody who shared them.

Sharma and different girls who have been posting concerning the group chat stated they acquired abuses and threats and their accounts have been being hacked.

Ultimately, on Might 4, some of the boys issued public apologies, however Twitterati have been in no temper to let go of the violation of the privateness of underage girls as an harmless mistake.

In keeping with Indian information web site shethepeople.television: “To their horror, screenshots of that conversation were leaked as well. Some of the boys immediately changed their handles or deleted their accounts, some apologised, but most of them were too busy trying to find ways to skirt the consequences and exact revenge. Over the span of the day, several more such groups sprang up as if to register their protest against being held accountable for their actions – symptomatic yet again of the raw toxic masculinity that pervades this demographic.”

Many have taken to Twitter to focus on how society continues to normalise predatory sexual behaviour at a younger age, and others stated the incident might probably carry concerning the #MeToo of the teenage world. Some, even share comparable experiences that they had confronted.

Such behaviour must be stopped at an early age, stated a tweet by the Mumbai police.

One Arrested: Authorized motion being taken

On Might Three and 4, tweeps tagged police Instagram handles in Delhi, asking for fast motion.

Delhi Fee for Girls took suo motu cognizance of the matter, as did the Delhi Cyber Cell.

The Delhi Cyber Cell filed an FIR. On Might 5, police apprehended a 15-year-old boy after a faculty filed a criticism. They’re additionally probing the matter additional.

In keeping with a number of information stories, a senior police officer stated, “On Monday, we found out that the administration of a prominent private school had filed a complaint at Saket police station. In their complaint, school authorities requested police to investigate the incident. Police, using technical surveillance, got the registered number of the 15-year-old, who had allegedly shared a photograph on the group. His phone was switched off. After finding his address, he was apprehended on Monday evening.”

Police have to this point discovered that some college students of main South Delhi colleges created the Instagram group in the final week of March. That is across the similar time that India declared the coronavirus lockdown.

The members then began including their associates.

“A few members are in college. Some of the teens allegedly started sharing photos posted by schoolgirls on their Instagram accounts, and passing sexually explicit comments,” an officer stated, including that the purported chats additionally included threats of sexual violence.

In keeping with a report by Indian information web site, indianexpress.com, District Commissioner of Police (DCP – Cyber Cell), Anyesh Roy stated: “After we came to know, we registered an FIR under Sections 465 (forgery), 471 (using as genuine a forged document or electronic record), 469 (forgery for purpose of harming reputation), 509 (word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman) and Sections 67 (publishing or transmitting obscene material in electronic form) and 67A (publishing or transmitting of material containing sexually explicit act in electronic form) of the IT Act. We are probing the matter and collecting all technical evidence.”

In keeping with the article, to this point, names of 4 non-public colleges from South Delhi and one from Noida have been linked to the group. The principal of one of the Delhi colleges stated: “It appears that some of the students who were part of the group were from our school. By the time we got to know, a complaint had already reached police. It does come as a shock to us as we have an atmosphere in school that encourages discussion around issues of gender and respect, as well as cybercrime. We have had several workshops. Schools try to build a secure but open space for children where discussion is encouraged. I also believe that the involvement of parents in their children’s lives is very important when it comes to things like these. Parents need to take on these roles, and not just that of disciplining or leaving the child alone altogether. They are ready to give children unfettered access to smartphones but, in many cases, the discussions around responsibility and respect are missing.”

In a press assertion on the matter, a Fb spokesperson stated, “We absolutely do not allow behaviour that promotes sexual violence or exploits anyone, especially women and young people, and have actioned content violating our Community Standards as we were made aware of it. We have policies that disallow the sharing of non-consensual intimate imagery, as well as threats to share such imagery and we take this issue very seriously. Ensuring our community can express themselves in a safe and respectful way is our top priority.”

Demand for little one pornography sees an increase in India, amid lockdown

Apparently, in response to an April report, the lockdown has seen an increase in the demand for little one porn in 100 cities in India. “Knowledge from Pornhub, one of the biggest pornography web sites in the world, reveals that between March 24 and March 26, India-centric visitors on its web site has risen by 95 per cent as in comparison with their common visitors earlier than the pandemic struck. A big phase of this spike might be attributed to the demand for little one pornography content material,” the India Baby Safety Fund report said final month.

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6 totally badass women I’m obsessed with right now

Despite 2018 seeming like it was perhaps a giant dumpster fire for women around the globe, woman did a tremendous job of getting. shit. done.

From the bravery shown by the women of the #MeToo movement, to historic wins for women in the midterm elections in the US (particularly of women of color), to Spain appointing a majority-woman cabinet, to Iranian women watching the World Cup in a stadium next to men for the first time in decades, to women in Saudi Arabia finally being legally allowed to drive, the list is long. It was a good year for us.

In honor of International Women’s Day, I’m sharing a little list of badass women I’m currently obsessed with right now. I cut this list down from 17 to 6 because, holy hell, there are a lot of women that deserve some bragging right now and each one deserves her own blog post. I bow down!

Please leave a comment to let me know who I left out, and who else I should be obsessed with at the moment (because there’s always room for more in my closet shrine!)

1. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi

If you were alive during 2018 (which I’m assuming you were since you’re reading this article) you probably didn’t escape the year without first hearing about Free Solo.

Perhaps you weren’t interested or didn’t really understand, but surely  you’ve heard about the epically superhuman efforts of Alex Honnold, a free solo expert who achieved his dream of scaling 3,000ft of a vertical wall in Yosemite National Park without a rope.

It has rightly been dubbed as one of the greatest athletic feats in the history of mankind (NBD) and watching the event is equal parts exhilarating and holy-shit-I’m-sweating-in-places-I-didn’t-even-know-could-produce-sweat terrifying.

When you hear about Free Solo, people normally talk about two things:

1) how amazing Alex Honnold is (and he is amazing)

2) what a great film Jimmy Chin produced (one of the greatest adventure photographers of all time)

Ok great, enough about them, let’s move on to the real star of the show.

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It was a day … @stellamccartney @carolyntangel @thefashionguitar @mhmakesithappen @jimmychin @alexhonnold @sannimccandless @freesolofilm here we go….@c_albert #oscars2019 @oscardelarenta @idaorg thank you to too many who made this possible thank you #avillage

A post shared by Chai Vasarhelyi (@chaivasarhelyi) on Feb 24, 2019 at 12:38am PST

What no one ever seems to talk about is the co-director and all around inspirational badass Chai Vasarhelyi and her role in all this.

So who is she? I’m glad you asked. Chai is an uber-ambitious 39-year-old woman who grew up in Manhattan and when to college at Princeton. She finished her first documentary, A Normal Life, at age 24 that told the story of 7 college-aged friends in the middle of the Bosnian Conflict.

I can’t even tell you one interesting thing I did the year I was 24. Her film won the Tribeca Film Festival. Casual.

Moving on! She spent the next decade making films about Senegal, honing in on her knack for storytelling and showcasing raw human emotion. Let’s fast forward a bit because I could literally talk for hours about her and we’ve got a lot of women to cover.

Chai found herself in the presence of Jimmy Chin (who she initially blew off because why not, you do you, girl). He asked her for some tips on his film, Meru, which had been kicking around for years, not managing to make it into any film festivals. She let him wait in limbo for three months before she got back to him and agreed to take a look.

Chai turned the now famous Meru from doomed, super bro climbing porn film, to a genuine story that went on gain high praise from elite film festivals everywhere.

How’d she do it? She insisted on re-shooting basically everything except for the actual climbing. All of the storytelling, all of the interviews with the climbers, all of the interviews with the family members. She revisited all of that and pulled out real human emotion that she felt viewers could connect with. And she was right.

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More Ampas / Baftas and more @brockcollection what a break from being a mud drenched Doc filmmaker feels like being Cinderella…..thank you @freesolofilm @thefashionguitar @carolyntangel 🙏❤️

A post shared by Chai Vasarhelyi (@chaivasarhelyi) on Feb 8, 2019 at 11:51am PST

And as a surprise to literally no one, she did the same thing for Free Solo.

She took what easily could have been a niche climbing film and turned it into an oddly relatable and universal story: perfection vs death, love vs. focus, ethics vs. filming an incredible feat. For her efforts and diligence, this documentary made people feel things other than fear and exhilaration.

She gave the audience and understanding of the complexity of the whole project. Oh, and she’s married to Jimmy Chin in case anyone actually cared. And they just took home an Oscar!

2. Jacinda Ardern

You didn’t think I was going to write this list without mentioning one of the most badass world leaders of all times, did you? Especially from the country that was the first to give women the right to vote!

As a leader of the first Labour government in New Zealand in a decade, Jacinda Ardern shares values common of a leftist party: investment in health, education, climate action, public housing, and social justice. Excellent start, but hundreds of politicians share those values and push those agendas.

So what makes Jacinda so special?

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Happy Diwali! If you’re in Auckland (or even near it) pop along to the festival at Aotea Square

A post shared by Jacinda Ardern (@jacindaardern) on Oct 19, 2018 at 8:22pm PDT

For starters, Jacinda has absolutely no time for what others expect of her outside of her job responsibilities.

All those bogus questions about family woman usually get when they run for public office? Nope! Jacinda wasn’t having any of it. She was elected and promptly announced her pregnancy like it was NBD, had the baby in a public hospital and became the first world leader ever to go on maternity leave, where she graced the world with a charming Facebook Live video of her and her daughter Neve.

When she was ready to go back, she went and her partner (not husband, mind you!) stayed home with the baby. I love a good gender role swap!

She continued her year getting shit done as the Prime Minister and also being an amazing parent.

She brought her new baby to the Nelson Mandela Peace Summit where she spoke moments after handing off the babe to her partner (She also got her baby a special UN pass for the event). Through her actions, she is normalizing being in a position of power as a new mom, breastfeeding at work, and having her partner be the primary caregiver.

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Welcome to our village wee one. Feeling very lucky to have a healthy baby girl that arrived at 4.45pm weighing 3.31kg (7.3lb) Thank you so much for your best wishes and your kindness. We're all doing really well thanks to the wonderful team at Auckland City Hospital.

A post shared by Jacinda Ardern (@jacindaardern) on Jun 20, 2018 at 11:14pm PDT

Enough about her baby. Let’s talk about her career accomplishments. In her short time as president, she has already:

Introduced the Families Package that delivers more money to families with children and reduces child poverty

Passed a bill to allow leave for victims of domestic abuse

Made the first year of tertiary education or training fees free

Increase student allowances and living cost loans by $50 a week

Passed the Healthy Homes Guarantee Bill, setting minimum standards for all rentals

Passed law banning overseas speculators from buying existing houses

Set up a ministerial inquiry into mental health crisis

Introduced legislation to make medicinal cannabis available for people with terminal illnesses or in chronic pain

Increased the minimum wage to $16.50 an hour (and announced this year another bump up to $17.70 by April of this year)

Set the zero carbon emissions goal and began setting up an independent Climate Commission, ended all new bids on offshore oil and gas exploration

And announced a phasing out of single-use plastic bags nationwide

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It’s been a while since I gave an update on the work to eradicate M. bovis, so here it is…. We’ve had 74 properties infected so far. 36 farms have now gone through the process of having their farms given the all clear and restocked – I visited one of those farms today to talk about their experience. We still have things we need to improve (and we made a few extra announcements on that today) but we’re also still very committed to eradicating Mycoplasma Bovis.

A post shared by Jacinda Ardern (@jacindaardern) on Oct 8, 2018 at 5:28pm PDT

Oh, and she greeted the Queen of England wearing a traditional Maori cloak. What’s that? A country treating its indigenous population with even an ounce or respect and dignity!?

3. Melise Edwards

Melise has become one of my favorite women to follow on Instagram. Not only is she a sponsored rock climber, but she’s also an actual brain scientist AND social justice warrior.

She refuses to sit behind her climbing success without also tackling issues for women and communities of color in the outdoors. She refuses to accept the erasure of dark-skinned women in outdoor advertising and when she gets hate mail for it, she straight up calls those bullies out.

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The truth is: I've had so many negative interactions in the climbing community in recent years that have arisen due to conversations surrounding diversity, feminism, privilege and inclusion that I find myself sometimes uninterested, angry and afraid to be a part of the local community. . . There have been the friends from my city & back home who block, unfriend and unfollow me, though first letting me know that "demonizing white people" by asking for folks to recognize our many collective forms of privilege and the impacts of recent historical oppression on minorities is divisive and racist against white people. . . There have been the strangers and local climbers who are all too comfortable harassing and trolling me online with the added bonus of getting to see them here in the gyms when I climb. There have been the in-person conversations at where people seek me out to tell me I'm playing the victim and that racism and sexism are not really issues. . There have been the prominent climbers and first ascentionists who vehemently oppose these conversations and message me condescending remarks. There has been a man twice my age writing a blog post on his institute's page about my fragility. And on top of this, we see chronic affronts and attacks on POC & other underrepresented groups within the outdoor community and society at large daily. It comes from friends. It comes from strangers. It comes from leaders and people in positions of power in the industry. It comes from people who would rather not get involved. . . These things make it difficult to "just go climbing" and push myself within a hobby that used to give me so much joy. My life is amazing and I'm so thankful for where I am and all that I do. There are also many incredible people and groups in this industry who are doing invaluable work. But if I am being honest, I am struggling with my waning passion for a community and hobby I used to love. (Photo by @andreasassenrath)

A post shared by Mélise | Seattle, WA (@meliseymo) on Feb 26, 2019 at 12:02pm PST

Her passion and dedication is infectious and makes me want to do better:

“I yearn for the day when multiple women of color can be featured for an advertisement or photoshoot within and beyond the outdoor industry; for the day we don’t need to have several white women or men in the shot for the photo to be inherently successful. . I yearn for the day POC can get paid and aren’t questioned or criticized for wanting to get paid for their work and time. This means valuing their time, chronic advice, labor and the information they provide enough to actually compensate them. (E.g. how do I make my company more diverse?) . . I yearn for the day when more people of color make up the staffing at large companies and folks don’t call on *that one POC you know on Instagram* to ask for chronic free education and labor. . Companies: Diversify your staff. Diversify your marketing. Take actual efforts to support POC in the outdoor community beyond superficial displays that do not get at the root of the problem (e.g. inviting a panel of POC to talk for free at your events.) . Finally, please stop asking POC to only come to your events to talk about diversity instead of their amazing careers in the outdoors, recent adventures or athleticism. We can all do better when we learn how rampant these issues are in our community and seek to change them. I believe in you all.”

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Marketing in the outdoor industry and society at large is strikingly homogenous. Even attempts to diversify marketing efforts will usually feature one light skinned, white passing or racially ambiguous woman still out numbered 10:1 by white models and a usually all white staff. . . Similarly frustrating is the chronic expectation for POC to continually offer free labor to *thank* companies for daring to care about diversity. Superficial means of supporting diversity will be offered without ever addressing the issue at the community, staff, company and marketing level. . . Companies need to do better to represent the diversity of our communities. . I yearn for the day when multiple women of color can be featured for an advertisement or photoshoot within and beyond the outdoor industry; for the day we don't need to have several white women or men in the shot for the photo to be inherently successful. . . I yearn for the day POC can get paid and aren't questioned or criticized for wanting to get paid for their work and time. This means valuing their time, chronic advice, labor and the information they provide enough to actually compensate them. (E.g. how do I make my company more diverse?) . . I yearn for the day when more people of color make up the staffing at large companies and folks don't call on *that one POC you know on Instagram* to ask for chronic free education and labor. . . Companies: Diversify your staff. Diversify your marketing. Take actual efforts to support POC in the outdoor community beyond superficial displays that do not get at the root of the problem (e.g. inviting a panel of POC to talk for free at your events.) . Finally, please stop asking POC to only come to your events to talk about diversity instead of their amazing careers in the outdoors, recent adventures or athleticism. We can all do better when we learn how rampant these issues are in our community and seek to change them. I believe in you all. (PC @andreasassenrath)

A post shared by Mélise | Seattle, WA (@meliseymo) on Feb 2, 2019 at 9:56am PST

4. Cristina Mittermeier

In case you haven’t heard, global warming is real. It’s happening right now and us humans who have expedited global warming are generally not being helpful at all.

Good thing there are people like Cristina Mittermeier to show us the way forward. (And if I haven’t lost you at this point, congrats, you understand science!)

The Mexico-city born marine biologist has some notable accolades but her strength goes beyond her studies and awards. Cristina is an expert storyteller and sheds light on what’s going on in the world, whether at the bottom of the ocean floor or in some of the most remote indigenous villages in the world. She photographs them, tells their story and gives hope for the possibility of a mindful, sustainable future.

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What might seem like a featureless snow-covered landscape to us is an invisible map filled with smells that lead to prey and mates for polar bears. While the future of this incredible species remains uncertain and concerning, the unwavering hope that so many of you have for vulnerable wildlife tells me that our ability to protect them has never been more diverse and more promising.

A post shared by Cristina Mittermeier (@cristinamittermeier) on Oct 7, 2018 at 9:23am PDT

At her core, she wants her audience to really truly think about what it means to be a human and our undeniable link to other species and the responsibility to look after fellow life forms.

In 2005, she created a league of Conservation Photographers (hello new dream job!) to help give a platform for photographers working on environmental issues. She’s also co-founded a nonprofit called Sea Legacy, with legendary photographer Paul Nicklen, that works towards protecting the world’s oceans through storytelling.

If that’s not enough to convince you to be obsessed with her as well, I’ll leave you with this quote.

“To roam the farthest corners of the Earth, where wild creatures live, is a privilege reserved for an adventurous handful. But even though most of us may never feel the chill of Arctic air through the frozen flap of an icy tent, images can help us understand the urgency many photographers feel to protect wild places. My work is about building a greater awareness of the responsibility of what it means to be a human. It is about understanding that the history of every living thing that has ever existed on this planet also lives within us. It is about the ethical imperative—the urgent reminder that we are inextricably linked to all other species on this planet and that we have a duty to act as the keepers of our fellow life forms.”

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Blue whales are the largest animals to have ever existed, reaching mind-boggling dimensions of 100 feet long and upwards of 200 tons on a diet composed almost exclusively of krill, tiny-shrimp like crustaceans. It was a joy to be in the water with this gentle giant off the coast of the Azores. I had never had an encounter with a blue whale before. While the hunting of blue whales was banned by the International Whaling Commission in 1966, endangered fin whales are still being hunted in Iceland in defiance of a world wide ban of commercial whaling in 1986. Follow the link in my bio to learn more. This work was performed under the authorization n.0 XX-ORAC-2018 issued by the Government, on February 22, 2018.

A post shared by Cristina Mittermeier (@cristinamittermeier) on Jun 23, 2018 at 8:42am PDT

5. Mirna Valerio

There’s a myth in the medical world that fat people cannot be considered fit.

There’s phony talk about the importance of BMI (spoiler: it’s absolutely worthless for determining health) and the unarguable need to shed pounds to achieve health.

This simply is not true and Mirna Valerio is here to prove it.

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Guess what y’all? I’m a swimsuit model too! I loved this shoot with the talented @insecto, Carlos Palacios, in Costa Rica for @skirtsports! I never thought in a million years I’d be doing #swimwear photoshoots on a beach on top of a SUP board in #halfmoonpose baring, well not quite all, but more than I am used to… ## WELCOME TO MY NEW WORLD! Also this bathing suit is available the link in my bio—use code MIRNAVATOR for a 20% discount! #swimsuit #beachphotography #womenwhomove #optoutside #bathingsuit #bareitall #bodypositive #bopo #photography #bodylove #effyourbeautystandards

A post shared by Mirna Valerio (@themirnavator) on Feb 25, 2019 at 11:30am PST

Mirna has essentially been an outdoors obsessed athlete all of her life. From field hockey and lacrosse in high school to now being a full-on ultramarathon runner in her adult life. She started blogging (Fat Girl Running) in 2012 as she was training for her first marathon and as her support systems grew, so did the haters, flooding her inbox with negative comments. But Mirna never let the haters get her down. She loves her body and is consequently chasing our stereotyped perception of what fitness and health look like.

“They don’t like to see me on a cover of a magazine because I do not represent what fitness means to them,” she says. “I want to continue sticking my big ass into places where people think I don’t belong. That has been the nature of my life—I’m going to do it and I’m going to do it proudly.”

“We are much more than our bodies. Whether it’s body image, our choices to be moms or not, our career choices—we are more than our bodies,” Valerio says. “We’re so powerful beyond our wildest dreams.”

View this post on Instagram

An excellent morning on the #wildwoodtrail at #forestpark in Portland with new friends @erin.nicksmartin and @rossmaxloudness from my awesome Facebook Group FATGIRLRUNNING. We had a great time exploring the #trail, enjoying the peeks of sun, and most of all, each other’s company. So happy to have our community! #fatgirlrunning #trailrunning #optoutside #runtrails #trailandultra #trailrunning #outdoors #urbantrails #portlandtrails #runner #zapposrunning #empoweredbyrunning #hylandspowered

A post shared by Mirna Valerio (@themirnavator) on Dec 27, 2018 at 12:51pm PST

As a runner, author, and educator, Valeria has secured her voice encouraging everyone, especially the youth, to get outside where they can test their own mental and physical strength. She advocates for green spaces in cities and supports more price-public funding for school trips.

“It’s not just a necessity for urban kids, but it’s a necessity for kids all over no matter what their level of privilege is and no matter what their level of exposure and access is,” she says. “Whenever I think of the outdoors, it’s not only a place to be myself and live in my introverted ways, but I also look at the outdoors as a place of bonding with other people and having these really deep, profound experiences with nature that you can’t have looking out a window.”

6. Pattie Gonia

Pattie Gonia is the world’s first backpacking queen and honestly, this is exactly what we need right now in these trying times.

Some days the news is so dark and our world leaders are so questionable that you might want to crawl into a tiny cave and not come out until everything is fixed but then, like a ray of sunshine and hope, emerges Pattie Gonia, the viral drag queen who dances on top of mountaintops in platform heels and everything in the world seems a little more manageable.

Yes!

View this post on Instagram

SURPRISE BISH !!!! park ranger pattie is here to write you a ticket for being TOO DAMN FABULOUS. 👑 & o no sis we’re not done yet. 💥 your fine is to tell someone u know needs to hear it how fabuluz they are too. 🧚🏻‍♂️ & u know y??? because this is our year to shine TOGETHER. so u better watch out u better not hide i’ll be patrolling these here parts & should u choose to be too fabulous again just watch me i’ll pop out from behind a tree (BOO!!) w these au natural hairy leggz & say u too wonderful AGAIN here’s another 1 !!!! . whooole lewk by queen @katienashbeauty photo by queen @erinoutdoors photographed on jumanos native lands . #servingyounationalparkSERVEice #nationalparkservice #nationalparks #outdoors #neature #nature #alewk #amajorlewk

A post shared by Pattie Gonia (@pattiegonia) on Mar 4, 2019 at 12:30pm PST

Pattie graced us with her presence less than six months ago but has already made waves across the world.

Pattie is portrayed by fellow Nebraskan photographer and Eagle Scout Wyn Wiley. If you aren’t familiar with various state identities in the USA, let’s just say that Nebraska is not the easiest state to be apart of the LGBTQ group.

Nevertheless, Wiley unapologetically embraces his inner queen and we’re all a lot better because of it.

But Pattie Gonia is more than a feel-good IG feed to make you smile. Wiley’s ultimate goal is for Pattie Gonia to inspire more people to get outside and enjoy mother nature, especially those who have historically been excluded from the outdoor community, including the LGBTQ community, people of color, and bigger folks.

He hopes to achieve this by having Pattie Gonia lead groups of newbie hikers and using sponsors to help provide gear for those who can’t afford it, because let’s be honest, outdoor gear can be as expensive as hell and historically, spending leisure time outside is a huge fucking privilege.

View this post on Instagram

THE BEND & SNAP TRAIL EDITION ♻️💃🏼🌲 ugh isn’t trash on the trails the most sad moment??? let’s keep our trails clean & do it while looking fab && snatched & cute as a bb prancing deer. not only for us but for all the animal babes friends we share mother natch with!!! remember, we have one earth to have our party, let’s not leave the house trashed. pick up your trash. it’s simply good etiquette, queens. . keeping our trails is clean is as easy as you brining a simple plastic bag to not only pack out your trash but what was left behind by other people. even if you pick up a piece or two of trash on a 30 min hike that can do wonders to keep mother natch looking snatched. . outfit by clothes my mom got me for christmas video by @charlieronan edit by @adamkingman #recycle #packout #packinpackout #protectourparks #nationalparks #hikevibes #litter #trash #stateparks #parksandrec #11thessential #leavenotrace #staywild #colorado #redrocks #denver #nature #fierce #drag #dragqueen #dance . video taken on cheyenne and ute native land

A post shared by Pattie Gonia (@pattiegonia) on Feb 7, 2019 at 12:22pm PST

On a more personal level, Pattie is a way for Wiley to explore his more feminine sides.

“In my normal life, I’d say I’m pretty straight-passing,” he says. “But when I put those boots on, it feels like a girl when she puts on mascara for the first time – it unlocks a different side of you that you haven’t seen before. I think femme is important. I think masculinity is important. I think it’s all inside of us.” If everyone accepted this gender fusion, the world would be a much better place.

Trust me. Better yet, trust Pattie.

Spill! Who are some badass women you’re obsessed with right now? Comment below and share some inspo!

The post 6 totally badass women I’m obsessed with right now appeared first on Young Adventuress.

from Young Adventuress https://ift.tt/2H4QjhI

Nature Are young men in America scared?

Nature Are young men in America scared? Nature Are young men in America scared? http://www.nature-business.com/nature-are-young-men-in-america-scared/

Nature

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionTrump: “Somebody could accuse you of something and you’re automatically guilty.”President Donald Trump said on Tuesday that it was a “difficult” and “scary” time for young men in the US and mocked a woman who says she assaulted by his Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.Mr Trump was expressing support for Mr Kavanaugh as the FBI investigates claims of sexual misconduct by several women, including Christine Blasey Ford, against the judge.The remarks come a year after the #MeToo movement toppled prominent Hollywood figures and thousands of women shared their experiences of sexual harassment.Donald Trump Jnr has also said he is more worried about his sons than his daughters.Is the president right? Do young men feel under threat, and have any changed their behaviour and views in the past 12 months?Self-reflectionDrake King, an 18-year-old student from Tennessee, told the BBC that he did not feel scared as a young man in college.”I feel comfortable with this social change – it helps me realise what I’ve been doing wrong as a man. Self-reflection is something that most people need,” he says.

Image copyright Drake King

Image caption

Tennessee student Drake King and his girlfriend Maddison McBride

Explaining how he felt he had acted disrespectfully towards women in the past, he believes the guidelines on what is and isn’t OK are now clearer: “It helps to have someone tell me what I am doing wrong.”The feeling that #MeToo was a learning experience for young men is echoed by 21-year-old Ohio student Parker Smith.”Genuinely listening to these perspectives has led me to reflect on my own. #MeToo has helped make me more cognisant of how I handle myself. “#MeToo has led me to do a better job of listening, which has, in turn, prompted me to be more self-reflective and aware of how women perceive my own actions and those of other men.”Court of public opinionBut many advocates of change also express reservations.”When the #MeToo movement started a year ago, I thought it could only be a net gain. But too many mess-ups have happened. I think it’s wrong that it has moved away from a legal court and into a court of public opinion,” says Drake King.”In my own circle of friends, those who are single feel extremely apprehensive about dating – especially if a bad date may have the potential of being interpreted as assault.” Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionHow US teens talk about sexual assaultAnxiety about false accusation is at the forefront of some young adults’ minds.One 2010 study found that 2-10% of rape accusations in the past 20 years were proven to be fake. That does not include unsubstantiated accusations where an investigation was unable to prove a sexual assault occurred, so an accurate figure for the total remains unknown.”I was pretty sure sexual assault was more common than society was willing to admit, but I also am fairly certain that false accusations are more common than most of the #MeToo activists would like to think,” suggests Aiden, a 23-year-old student in Arizona.He admits he is more cautious now, including keeping both hands visible in group photos with women.”If society has the duty to protect women from the extreme minority of men who are offenders (and it does have that duty), shouldn’t society also protect men from the extreme minority of false-accusers?” he adds.”I’m hearing, ‘if you don’t believe her claim, you are re-victimising her’. Since scepticism of a claim is heterodoxy, people will accept a claim either blindly or just to avoid being ostracised.”Fear that public opinion is supplanting legal judgement also worries some young men.

Image copyright Adam Peterson

Image caption

Adam Peterson says he does not find President Trump’s comments that young men are scared to be unreasonable

“Frankly, my behaviour hasn’t changed at all since the #MeToo movement,” says Adam Peterson, a 29-year old father of one in Utah.Although he is pleased that survivors of sexual assault have a more powerful platform to speak from, he believes the movement is “overblown”.”I don’t know anyone, myself included, that hasn’t faced unwanted sexual advances. No-one thinks that’s right but it’s also a far cry from rape. Treating these two very different things as equivalent is a disservice to people that have been through rape,” he added.”Guilty until proven innocent is a scary precedent for anyone not just young men, and publicly saying so is a good thing.”InterventionOne 24-year-old recent graduate shared his experience of calling out male colleagues after two women at a previous workplace told him the men had been behaving inappropriately.”The guys had been flirting and it was going overboard – asking the women to go to a club and a hotel afterwards, with the express interest of having sex,” explained Callian Stokes.”Overall the men were very sexist, telling women that moving a chair was a man’s job. We ended up having a meeting to address the issue along with some other interns who were getting too comfortable touching female staff.”

Image copyright Parker Smith

Image caption

“Me Too has helped me to become a better man by leading me to try to see things from a female perspective,” says Ohio student Parker Smith

“I think it’s a scary time for men that sexually harass and beyond, because they are afraid of getting caught or outed. Don’t be a creep and learn to leave people alone if you don’t already know that social skill,” Callian added. Another student said he has called out classmates and teachers at school for saying “boys will be boys” and that girls who dressed provocatively “deserved to be assaulted”.”I was appalled and spoke out against the popular belief that accusers of important figures were lying,” he explained, adding, “to counter the culture I am in, women should be given an equal voice to hold us more accountable”.Ohio student Parker Smith agreed, suggesting that some fear amongst men is a positive step.”If men’s actions have become more cautious out of fear of being accused of harassment or assault, I say ‘good, great!’ They should.”

Read More | BBC News

Nature Are young men in America scared?, in 2018-10-04 01:41:35

Nature Are young men in America scared?

Nature Are young men in America scared? Nature Are young men in America scared? http://www.nature-business.com/nature-are-young-men-in-america-scared/

Nature

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionTrump: “Somebody could accuse you of something and you’re automatically guilty.”President Donald Trump said on Tuesday that it was a “difficult” and “scary” time for young men in the US and mocked a woman who says she assaulted by his Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.Mr Trump was expressing support for Mr Kavanaugh as the FBI investigates claims of sexual misconduct by several women, including Christine Blasey Ford, against the judge.The remarks come a year after the #MeToo movement toppled prominent Hollywood figures and thousands of women shared their experiences of sexual harassment.Donald Trump Jnr has also said he is more worried about his sons than his daughters.Is the president right? Do young men feel under threat, and have any changed their behaviour and views in the past 12 months?Self-reflectionDrake King, an 18-year-old student from Tennessee, told the BBC that he did not feel scared as a young man in college.”I feel comfortable with this social change – it helps me realise what I’ve been doing wrong as a man. Self-reflection is something that most people need,” he says.

Image copyright Drake King

Image caption

Tennessee student Drake King and his girlfriend Maddison McBride

Explaining how he felt he had acted disrespectfully towards women in the past, he believes the guidelines on what is and isn’t OK are now clearer: “It helps to have someone tell me what I am doing wrong.”The feeling that #MeToo was a learning experience for young men is echoed by 21-year-old Ohio student Parker Smith.”Genuinely listening to these perspectives has led me to reflect on my own. #MeToo has helped make me more cognisant of how I handle myself. “#MeToo has led me to do a better job of listening, which has, in turn, prompted me to be more self-reflective and aware of how women perceive my own actions and those of other men.”Court of public opinionBut many advocates of change also express reservations.”When the #MeToo movement started a year ago, I thought it could only be a net gain. But too many mess-ups have happened. I think it’s wrong that it has moved away from a legal court and into a court of public opinion,” says Drake King.”In my own circle of friends, those who are single feel extremely apprehensive about dating – especially if a bad date may have the potential of being interpreted as assault.” Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionHow US teens talk about sexual assaultAnxiety about false accusation is at the forefront of some young adults’ minds.One 2010 study found that 2-10% of rape accusations in the past 20 years were proven to be fake. That does not include unsubstantiated accusations where an investigation was unable to prove a sexual assault occurred, so an accurate figure for the total remains unknown.”I was pretty sure sexual assault was more common than society was willing to admit, but I also am fairly certain that false accusations are more common than most of the #MeToo activists would like to think,” suggests Aiden, a 23-year-old student in Arizona.He admits he is more cautious now, including keeping both hands visible in group photos with women.”If society has the duty to protect women from the extreme minority of men who are offenders (and it does have that duty), shouldn’t society also protect men from the extreme minority of false-accusers?” he adds.”I’m hearing, ‘if you don’t believe her claim, you are re-victimising her’. Since scepticism of a claim is heterodoxy, people will accept a claim either blindly or just to avoid being ostracised.”Fear that public opinion is supplanting legal judgement also worries some young men.

Image copyright Adam Peterson

Image caption

Adam Peterson says he does not find President Trump’s comments that young men are scared to be unreasonable

“Frankly, my behaviour hasn’t changed at all since the #MeToo movement,” says Adam Peterson, a 29-year old father of one in Utah.Although he is pleased that survivors of sexual assault have a more powerful platform to speak from, he believes the movement is “overblown”.”I don’t know anyone, myself included, that hasn’t faced unwanted sexual advances. No-one thinks that’s right but it’s also a far cry from rape. Treating these two very different things as equivalent is a disservice to people that have been through rape,” he added.”Guilty until proven innocent is a scary precedent for anyone not just young men, and publicly saying so is a good thing.”InterventionOne 24-year-old recent graduate shared his experience of calling out male colleagues after two women at a previous workplace told him the men had been behaving inappropriately.”The guys had been flirting and it was going overboard – asking the women to go to a club and a hotel afterwards, with the express interest of having sex,” explained Callian Stokes.”Overall the men were very sexist, telling women that moving a chair was a man’s job. We ended up having a meeting to address the issue along with some other interns who were getting too comfortable touching female staff.”

Image copyright Parker Smith

Image caption

“Me Too has helped me to become a better man by leading me to try to see things from a female perspective,” says Ohio student Parker Smith

“I think it’s a scary time for men that sexually harass and beyond, because they are afraid of getting caught or outed. Don’t be a creep and learn to leave people alone if you don’t already know that social skill,” Callian added. Another student said he has called out classmates and teachers at school for saying “boys will be boys” and that girls who dressed provocatively “deserved to be assaulted”.”I was appalled and spoke out against the popular belief that accusers of important figures were lying,” he explained, adding, “to counter the culture I am in, women should be given an equal voice to hold us more accountable”.Ohio student Parker Smith agreed, suggesting that some fear amongst men is a positive step.”If men’s actions have become more cautious out of fear of being accused of harassment or assault, I say ‘good, great!’ They should.”

Read More | BBC News

Nature Are young men in America scared?, in 2018-10-04 01:41:35

Nature Are young men in America scared?

Nature Are young men in America scared? Nature Are young men in America scared? https://ift.tt/2P4gyFo

Nature

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionTrump: “Somebody could accuse you of something and you’re automatically guilty.”President Donald Trump said on Tuesday that it was a “difficult” and “scary” time for young men in the US and mocked a woman who says she assaulted by his Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.Mr Trump was expressing support for Mr Kavanaugh as the FBI investigates claims of sexual misconduct by several women, including Christine Blasey Ford, against the judge.The remarks come a year after the #MeToo movement toppled prominent Hollywood figures and thousands of women shared their experiences of sexual harassment.Donald Trump Jnr has also said he is more worried about his sons than his daughters.Is the president right? Do young men feel under threat, and have any changed their behaviour and views in the past 12 months?Self-reflectionDrake King, an 18-year-old student from Tennessee, told the BBC that he did not feel scared as a young man in college.”I feel comfortable with this social change – it helps me realise what I’ve been doing wrong as a man. Self-reflection is something that most people need,” he says.

Image copyright Drake King

Image caption

Tennessee student Drake King and his girlfriend Maddison McBride

Explaining how he felt he had acted disrespectfully towards women in the past, he believes the guidelines on what is and isn’t OK are now clearer: “It helps to have someone tell me what I am doing wrong.”The feeling that #MeToo was a learning experience for young men is echoed by 21-year-old Ohio student Parker Smith.”Genuinely listening to these perspectives has led me to reflect on my own. #MeToo has helped make me more cognisant of how I handle myself. “#MeToo has led me to do a better job of listening, which has, in turn, prompted me to be more self-reflective and aware of how women perceive my own actions and those of other men.”Court of public opinionBut many advocates of change also express reservations.”When the #MeToo movement started a year ago, I thought it could only be a net gain. But too many mess-ups have happened. I think it’s wrong that it has moved away from a legal court and into a court of public opinion,” says Drake King.”In my own circle of friends, those who are single feel extremely apprehensive about dating – especially if a bad date may have the potential of being interpreted as assault.” Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionHow US teens talk about sexual assaultAnxiety about false accusation is at the forefront of some young adults’ minds.One 2010 study found that 2-10% of rape accusations in the past 20 years were proven to be fake. That does not include unsubstantiated accusations where an investigation was unable to prove a sexual assault occurred, so an accurate figure for the total remains unknown.”I was pretty sure sexual assault was more common than society was willing to admit, but I also am fairly certain that false accusations are more common than most of the #MeToo activists would like to think,” suggests Aiden, a 23-year-old student in Arizona.He admits he is more cautious now, including keeping both hands visible in group photos with women.”If society has the duty to protect women from the extreme minority of men who are offenders (and it does have that duty), shouldn’t society also protect men from the extreme minority of false-accusers?” he adds.”I’m hearing, ‘if you don’t believe her claim, you are re-victimising her’. Since scepticism of a claim is heterodoxy, people will accept a claim either blindly or just to avoid being ostracised.”Fear that public opinion is supplanting legal judgement also worries some young men.

Image copyright Adam Peterson

Image caption

Adam Peterson says he does not find President Trump’s comments that young men are scared to be unreasonable

“Frankly, my behaviour hasn’t changed at all since the #MeToo movement,” says Adam Peterson, a 29-year old father of one in Utah.Although he is pleased that survivors of sexual assault have a more powerful platform to speak from, he believes the movement is “overblown”.”I don’t know anyone, myself included, that hasn’t faced unwanted sexual advances. No-one thinks that’s right but it’s also a far cry from rape. Treating these two very different things as equivalent is a disservice to people that have been through rape,” he added.”Guilty until proven innocent is a scary precedent for anyone not just young men, and publicly saying so is a good thing.”InterventionOne 24-year-old recent graduate shared his experience of calling out male colleagues after two women at a previous workplace told him the men had been behaving inappropriately.”The guys had been flirting and it was going overboard – asking the women to go to a club and a hotel afterwards, with the express interest of having sex,” explained Callian Stokes.”Overall the men were very sexist, telling women that moving a chair was a man’s job. We ended up having a meeting to address the issue along with some other interns who were getting too comfortable touching female staff.”

Image copyright Parker Smith

Image caption

“Me Too has helped me to become a better man by leading me to try to see things from a female perspective,” says Ohio student Parker Smith

“I think it’s a scary time for men that sexually harass and beyond, because they are afraid of getting caught or outed. Don’t be a creep and learn to leave people alone if you don’t already know that social skill,” Callian added. Another student said he has called out classmates and teachers at school for saying “boys will be boys” and that girls who dressed provocatively “deserved to be assaulted”.”I was appalled and spoke out against the popular belief that accusers of important figures were lying,” he explained, adding, “to counter the culture I am in, women should be given an equal voice to hold us more accountable”.Ohio student Parker Smith agreed, suggesting that some fear amongst men is a positive step.”If men’s actions have become more cautious out of fear of being accused of harassment or assault, I say ‘good, great!’ They should.”

Read More | BBC News

Nature Are young men in America scared?, in 2018-10-04 01:41:35

Nature Are young men in America scared?

Nature Are young men in America scared? Nature Are young men in America scared? http://www.nature-business.com/nature-are-young-men-in-america-scared/

Nature

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionTrump: “Somebody could accuse you of something and you’re automatically guilty.”President Donald Trump said on Tuesday that it was a “difficult” and “scary” time for young men in the US and mocked a woman who says she assaulted by his Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.Mr Trump was expressing support for Mr Kavanaugh as the FBI investigates claims of sexual misconduct by several women, including Christine Blasey Ford, against the judge.The remarks come a year after the #MeToo movement toppled prominent Hollywood figures and thousands of women shared their experiences of sexual harassment.Donald Trump Jnr has also said he is more worried about his sons than his daughters.Is the president right? Do young men feel under threat, and have any changed their behaviour and views in the past 12 months?Self-reflectionDrake King, an 18-year-old student from Tennessee, told the BBC that he did not feel scared as a young man in college.”I feel comfortable with this social change – it helps me realise what I’ve been doing wrong as a man. Self-reflection is something that most people need,” he says.

Image copyright Drake King

Image caption

Tennessee student Drake King and his girlfriend Maddison McBride

Explaining how he felt he had acted disrespectfully towards women in the past, he believes the guidelines on what is and isn’t OK are now clearer: “It helps to have someone tell me what I am doing wrong.”The feeling that #MeToo was a learning experience for young men is echoed by 21-year-old Ohio student Parker Smith.”Genuinely listening to these perspectives has led me to reflect on my own. #MeToo has helped make me more cognisant of how I handle myself. “#MeToo has led me to do a better job of listening, which has, in turn, prompted me to be more self-reflective and aware of how women perceive my own actions and those of other men.”Court of public opinionBut many advocates of change also express reservations.”When the #MeToo movement started a year ago, I thought it could only be a net gain. But too many mess-ups have happened. I think it’s wrong that it has moved away from a legal court and into a court of public opinion,” says Drake King.”In my own circle of friends, those who are single feel extremely apprehensive about dating – especially if a bad date may have the potential of being interpreted as assault.” Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionHow US teens talk about sexual assaultAnxiety about false accusation is at the forefront of some young adults’ minds.One 2010 study found that 2-10% of rape accusations in the past 20 years were proven to be fake. That does not include unsubstantiated accusations where an investigation was unable to prove a sexual assault occurred, so an accurate figure for the total remains unknown.”I was pretty sure sexual assault was more common than society was willing to admit, but I also am fairly certain that false accusations are more common than most of the #MeToo activists would like to think,” suggests Aiden, a 23-year-old student in Arizona.He admits he is more cautious now, including keeping both hands visible in group photos with women.”If society has the duty to protect women from the extreme minority of men who are offenders (and it does have that duty), shouldn’t society also protect men from the extreme minority of false-accusers?” he adds.”I’m hearing, ‘if you don’t believe her claim, you are re-victimising her’. Since scepticism of a claim is heterodoxy, people will accept a claim either blindly or just to avoid being ostracised.”Fear that public opinion is supplanting legal judgement also worries some young men.

Image copyright Adam Peterson

Image caption

Adam Peterson says he does not find President Trump’s comments that young men are scared to be unreasonable

“Frankly, my behaviour hasn’t changed at all since the #MeToo movement,” says Adam Peterson, a 29-year old father of one in Utah.Although he is pleased that survivors of sexual assault have a more powerful platform to speak from, he believes the movement is “overblown”.”I don’t know anyone, myself included, that hasn’t faced unwanted sexual advances. No-one thinks that’s right but it’s also a far cry from rape. Treating these two very different things as equivalent is a disservice to people that have been through rape,” he added.”Guilty until proven innocent is a scary precedent for anyone not just young men, and publicly saying so is a good thing.”InterventionOne 24-year-old recent graduate shared his experience of calling out male colleagues after two women at a previous workplace told him the men had been behaving inappropriately.”The guys had been flirting and it was going overboard – asking the women to go to a club and a hotel afterwards, with the express interest of having sex,” explained Callian Stokes.”Overall the men were very sexist, telling women that moving a chair was a man’s job. We ended up having a meeting to address the issue along with some other interns who were getting too comfortable touching female staff.”

Image copyright Parker Smith

Image caption

“Me Too has helped me to become a better man by leading me to try to see things from a female perspective,” says Ohio student Parker Smith

“I think it’s a scary time for men that sexually harass and beyond, because they are afraid of getting caught or outed. Don’t be a creep and learn to leave people alone if you don’t already know that social skill,” Callian added. Another student said he has called out classmates and teachers at school for saying “boys will be boys” and that girls who dressed provocatively “deserved to be assaulted”.”I was appalled and spoke out against the popular belief that accusers of important figures were lying,” he explained, adding, “to counter the culture I am in, women should be given an equal voice to hold us more accountable”.Ohio student Parker Smith agreed, suggesting that some fear amongst men is a positive step.”If men’s actions have become more cautious out of fear of being accused of harassment or assault, I say ‘good, great!’ They should.”

Read More | BBC News

Nature Are young men in America scared?, in 2018-10-04 01:41:35

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 88

Chapter Summary -  Tom meets Danielle's uncle accidentally before the pair discuss a few matters, one of which Danielle is less than willing to discuss.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @fairlightswiftly​ @salempoe​​ @wolfsmom1​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom yawned as he walked through the small home to the kitchen, paying little heed to his surrounds as he filled the kettle, it was only halfway through filling it that he realised the appliance was already warm, indicating that it had been heated already, but Danielle was still very much in bed, asleep. He had hoped to bring her the tea as he woke her. Frowning, he turned around and took a slight step back as an older man sat at the table across the room, quietly smirking into his own mug of tea. Tom thanked whatever form of divine inspiration caused him to put on pyjama pants and not just his boxers.

The man rose from his chair, clearly eyeing Tom up and down and walked over to him. "So, you are the Brit that is keeping Danielle over in England? You're taller than I expected."

"Her Uncle Michael?" Tom assumed, going by the photo he had seen in Danielle's home and his odd accent, a mixture of the many places he had resided.

"Aye, that's me. And what were you christened, since no one told me a name for you?" He extended his hand.

"Tom, " Tom said, putting out his own hand. "I had not thought anyone else was here."

"I had noticed," Michael chuckled, his attention going to Tom's accent. "I spent a few years in London myself, you're from close enough there, aren't you?"

"I am, Oxford is where I spent my childhood."

"Fancy spot, and nowadays?"

"London City."

"I was in Highbury for a few years myself, nice spot, good Irish contingent, yourself?"

"Belsize." Tom cleared his throat as he spoke, suspecting that Danielle's uncle was very much not going to stop until he got everything from him.

"Oxford, Belsize, your not from the sort of background that usually has a girlfriend from the background like Danielle's," Michael commented. "How does a West of Ireland girl catch some wealthy boy's attention?"

Tom felt somewhat uncomfortable at the interrogation he was facing, especially before his morning tea. "She lived next to my mother, of course, someone like Danielle, bright, intelligent and vivacious caught my Mum's attention immediately, so she became part of the family, it went from there."

"Aye, she's like that, you can't help but admire her." Michael nodded. "She's got a hell of a temper when pushed though."

Tom chuckled slightly, "I am well aware, I have borne witness to and the brunt of such."

Michael studied him a moment longer before laughing. "Well, as long as you're aware of what you're in for with her." he slapped his hand on Tom's shoulder. "She is equal parts Mattie and Bridget, and by Christ, is that both a great joy and a terrible warning. She doesn't suffer fools, as this malarkey with Bernie would suggest."

"Yes," Tom's brows furrowed, the alteration in Michael's demeanour told him that the older man was no longer acting as though he was part of Scotland Yard. "Do you think it can be resolved?"

Michael sighed. "I cannot afford ten grand on it, my wife had surgery back home and isn't working at present, and Lourda has two kids in college in Limerick and Dublin so she cannot afford it either. And with Danielle in Britain, what way is there to stop her?"

"If it could be kept?" Tom prodded.

"I will tell you this here and now, Thomas, if I could make sure my family home, the home I was born and reared in could stay in the family, I would be a happy man, but realistically, there is little chance of that happening." He swore solemnly. "I'm getting far too old for this, Mattie, God rest him, used keep the auld bitch in line; Danielle, fair dues to her, is of the same mould, but legally, Bernie can force the sale, whatever anyone else wants be damned." Tom did not get to reply before there was a sound of movement from upstairs. "I guess someone is up."

Tom threw on the kettle as he heard Danielle's footsteps on the stairs. "What devilment are you up to?"

"Just talking to the man that according to you, Siobhan was talking out her arse about," Michael commented.

"Jesus, if that isn't worrying. Whatever he says," Danielle walked into the room, looking at Tom, "ignore him, he thinks he holds authority."

"I am the last man of the Hughes name I'd like to remind you." Michael pointed out.

"Not the last Hughes though," Danielle smirked.

"Aye, that's your plan so, tag this poor man along and keep the name?"

"I don't have to take a man's name if I ever get married."

"Jesus, you're awkward for the sake of it so you are." Michael shook his head.

"Did you honestly come out here to just get a cup of tea and go snooping?" Danielle laughed at her uncle.

"I need a good cuppa before heading back home." he shrugged. "Listen, Danielle." She stopped smiling and gave her uncle her full attention. "You know I can't afford this at the moment, but you know Mam and Dad would never have wanted this place sold."

"It was why they divvied it up, so everyone would look after it."

Michael nodded. "If it can be, I support what is needed, just let me know." Danielle nodded. "Now, I am off to the airport." he extended his hand to Tom, "You better look after my niece, Thomas," he warned.

Tom nodded as he shook his hand. "I will, and good to meet you."

Michael nodded before turning to his niece. "Danielle, do what you can, no better woman for it." He embraced her in a hug. "He's fair fancy, but I think your dad would have liked him anyway," he whispered.

Danielle smiled. "Thank you, Mike, I will let you know how things go here."

"Do, sure and Lourda too." with a final wave, her uncle turned and left the small cottage.

"So, where's my tea?" Danielle grinned playfully, causing Tom to grin and pull her to him.

"I got sidetracked by unexpected uncles."

"I dare say you did." She laughed. "But I still want some tea." she turned and began to make it.

* "What time are you flying back tomorrow?"

"Early enough, I have to get a few things done, and then the fun for the press tour starts." Tom sighed, pulling Danielle to him. "I wish you were coming home too."

"I have too much going on here."

"Would it not be easier to come home and get the loan and then come back and deal with it, and what about that guy that wants to meet you about your exam?"

"I have to see if I can stop here putting it up for sale before I can even consider going into NatWest and asking for a loan." Danielle groaned. "As for him," she inhaled deeply, "It’s all so much at once."

Tom watched as Danielle began to stress out again. "Elle?"

"What?" she noted something in his eyes.

"I was thinking."

"Oh, Jesus."

"I want you to listen to everything I say before reacting, please." Danielle looked at him worriedly. "You have a decent amount of the money for the house already, don't you?" She nodded slightly. "And you know the bank would give you more?"

"I don't know if they will, but I have no reason to believe they wouldn't. I have collateral, my credit card is never used, I am a good candidate." She explained, "Why?"

"If I.…"

"No." She cut in and pulled back from him.

"Elle, please, just listen to me." Tom pleaded. "Why won't you even listen?"

"Because I know what you are going to say and I don't want to discuss it."

"You have no idea what I am going to say, and why not discuss things?"

"You are going to suggest you spot me the cash, right?" He did not respond. "No Tom, I am not even going to consider it."

"Why not?"

"Because I am not a money-hungry bitch only interested in your financial worth." She snapped back. "I am not doing that."

"I know you're not and that is why I am offering." Danielle just shook her head. "Elle, I am suggesting this because one, you and I both know, the sooner we get your aunt off your back, the sooner it is sorted, and two, because I know you love this house, because it stops this from going any further, and most importantly because I want you to stop lying awake wondering about it, I want you to actually enjoy yourself again. You are incredibly stressed since before I got here, and yes, I am a part to blame, but I like to think we are fixing that and I want to fix this too." She said nothing, instead, she looked at him guiltily. "I know you are not sleeping, you have to force yourself to be yourself in front of me because you are anxious and are trying to hide it, please, let me help."

"It's not possible." she shook her head.

"Why not? I go home tomorrow, transfer the…wait, I can just transfer it to you now." he got out his laptop and got his banking page up. "Yes, I can."

Danielle bit her lips together. "How would I withdraw it, there is no NatWest's here?"

Tom typed on his laptop for a moment. "Is there an Ulster Bank?"

"Yes, that's Irish, I think."

"Well it's part of the grouping with NatWest according to this, so there you go." He smiled.

"I don't have an Ulster Bank account though." She pointed out.

"What have you here?"

"Just a credit union account."

Tom typed for a moment before grinning. "All credit unions have IBAN numbers, so yes, you can transfer to it." He looked at her. "We can have this done today Elle. You can come home and meet this American guy, I can be selfish and admit I want a few more days with you before the tour starts, I know you would have to wait for legal papers to be drawn up and everything, but we can do this right now Elle, just give the word. You are trying to be polite and decline via excuses, but I have rubbished them all, I know you don't want to do it, I know you would never ask this of me, but I want to do this for you, Elle, to make you happy, that makes me happy."

Danielle continued to think about it as he looked at her, pleading silently for her to accept his offer, to end the stalemate that was in play.

Nature Are young men in America scared?

Nature Are young men in America scared? Nature Are young men in America scared? http://www.nature-business.com/nature-are-young-men-in-america-scared/

Nature

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Media captionTrump: “Somebody could accuse you of something and you’re automatically guilty.”President Donald Trump said on Tuesday that it was a “difficult” and “scary” time for young men in the US and mocked a woman who says she assaulted by his Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.Mr Trump was expressing support for Mr Kavanaugh as the FBI investigates claims of sexual misconduct by several women, including Christine Blasey Ford, against the judge.The remarks come a year after the #MeToo movement toppled prominent Hollywood figures and thousands of women shared their experiences of sexual harassment.Donald Trump Jnr has also said he is more worried about his sons than his daughters.Is the president right? Do young men feel under threat, and have any changed their behaviour and views in the past 12 months?Self-reflectionDrake King, an 18-year-old student from Tennessee, told the BBC that he did not feel scared as a young man in college.”I feel comfortable with this social change – it helps me realise what I’ve been doing wrong as a man. Self-reflection is something that most people need,” he says.

Image copyright Drake King

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Tennessee student Drake King and his girlfriend Maddison McBride

Explaining how he felt he had acted disrespectfully towards women in the past, he believes the guidelines on what is and isn’t OK are now clearer: “It helps to have someone tell me what I am doing wrong.”The feeling that #MeToo was a learning experience for young men is echoed by 21-year-old Ohio student Parker Smith.”Genuinely listening to these perspectives has led me to reflect on my own. #MeToo has helped make me more cognisant of how I handle myself. “#MeToo has led me to do a better job of listening, which has, in turn, prompted me to be more self-reflective and aware of how women perceive my own actions and those of other men.”Court of public opinionBut many advocates of change also express reservations.”When the #MeToo movement started a year ago, I thought it could only be a net gain. But too many mess-ups have happened. I think it’s wrong that it has moved away from a legal court and into a court of public opinion,” says Drake King.”In my own circle of friends, those who are single feel extremely apprehensive about dating – especially if a bad date may have the potential of being interpreted as assault.” Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionHow US teens talk about sexual assaultAnxiety about false accusation is at the forefront of some young adults’ minds.One 2010 study found that 2-10% of rape accusations in the past 20 years were proven to be fake. That does not include unsubstantiated accusations where an investigation was unable to prove a sexual assault occurred, so an accurate figure for the total remains unknown.”I was pretty sure sexual assault was more common than society was willing to admit, but I also am fairly certain that false accusations are more common than most of the #MeToo activists would like to think,” suggests Aiden, a 23-year-old student in Arizona.He admits he is more cautious now, including keeping both hands visible in group photos with women.”If society has the duty to protect women from the extreme minority of men who are offenders (and it does have that duty), shouldn’t society also protect men from the extreme minority of false-accusers?” he adds.”I’m hearing, ‘if you don’t believe her claim, you are re-victimising her’. Since scepticism of a claim is heterodoxy, people will accept a claim either blindly or just to avoid being ostracised.”Fear that public opinion is supplanting legal judgement also worries some young men.

Image copyright Adam Peterson

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Adam Peterson says he does not find President Trump’s comments that young men are scared to be unreasonable

“Frankly, my behaviour hasn’t changed at all since the #MeToo movement,” says Adam Peterson, a 29-year old father of one in Utah.Although he is pleased that survivors of sexual assault have a more powerful platform to speak from, he believes the movement is “overblown”.”I don’t know anyone, myself included, that hasn’t faced unwanted sexual advances. No-one thinks that’s right but it’s also a far cry from rape. Treating these two very different things as equivalent is a disservice to people that have been through rape,” he added.”Guilty until proven innocent is a scary precedent for anyone not just young men, and publicly saying so is a good thing.”InterventionOne 24-year-old recent graduate shared his experience of calling out male colleagues after two women at a previous workplace told him the men had been behaving inappropriately.”The guys had been flirting and it was going overboard – asking the women to go to a club and a hotel afterwards, with the express interest of having sex,” explained Callian Stokes.”Overall the men were very sexist, telling women that moving a chair was a man’s job. We ended up having a meeting to address the issue along with some other interns who were getting too comfortable touching female staff.”

Image copyright Parker Smith

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“Me Too has helped me to become a better man by leading me to try to see things from a female perspective,” says Ohio student Parker Smith

“I think it’s a scary time for men that sexually harass and beyond, because they are afraid of getting caught or outed. Don’t be a creep and learn to leave people alone if you don’t already know that social skill,” Callian added. Another student said he has called out classmates and teachers at school for saying “boys will be boys” and that girls who dressed provocatively “deserved to be assaulted”.”I was appalled and spoke out against the popular belief that accusers of important figures were lying,” he explained, adding, “to counter the culture I am in, women should be given an equal voice to hold us more accountable”.Ohio student Parker Smith agreed, suggesting that some fear amongst men is a positive step.”If men’s actions have become more cautious out of fear of being accused of harassment or assault, I say ‘good, great!’ They should.”

Read More | BBC News

Nature Are young men in America scared?, in 2018-10-04 01:41:35

When a third woman accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct this week, Kavanaugh supporters immediately stepped forward with a familiar defense: It couldn’t have happened, because surely if it had, someone would have said something at the time.

In a sworn declaration delivered through her lawyer Michael Avenatti, Julie Swetnick avowed that she witnessed Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh drug girls at high school house parties where the girls were later “gang raped.” Swetnick further says that Kavanaugh was present at a party where she herself was drugged and raped, although she does not directly say that he participated in her rape.

In a statement released by the White House, Kavanaugh (who has denied all three allegations against him) called Swetnick’s statement “ridiculous” and “from the Twilight Zone.” His denial was widely echoed by supporters to whom the idea that such terrible things could happen on a routine basis, and that no one would do anything to stop them or even avoid the parties, seems absurd.

If a crime happened, this argument presumes, surely everyone involved would have recognized that it was terribly wrong and someone would have spoken up at the time.

But if there’s one thing we can take away from the popular culture of the 1980s, when the alleged events took place, it’s that a sexual assault at that time might not have been immediately clear as what it was, for participants and observers alike. Some of the most popular comedies of the ’80s are filled with allegedly hilarious sequences that portray what in 2018 would be unambiguously considered date rape.

As long as everybody involved is acquainted with each other, these movies tend to treat those rapes as harmless hijinks. They don’t really count. They’re funny — even in movies as sweet and romantic as Sixteen Candles.

“I have a difficult time believing any person would continue to go to – according to the affidavit – ten parties over a two-year period where women were routinely gang raped and not report it,” tweeted Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) after Swetnick came forward with her story.

“One obvious question about this account: Why would she constantly attend parties where she believed girls were being gang-raped?” asked National Review editor Rich Lowry.

“Please someone help me with this,” wrote conservative writer David French. “Georgetown Prep boys frequently committed gang rape. Lots of people knew they were committing gang rape. And despite this common knowledge no one has talked publicly for three decades, until the day before a crucial Senate hearing. What?”

This argument has been a common response to accusations of sexual misconduct over the past year of #MeToo discourse: It couldn’t have happened, because if it had, someone would have said so at the time. But as German Lopez has written for Vox, there are plenty of issues in our criminal justice system that prevent survivors of sexual violence from reporting.

Survivors who come forward are likely to be harassed and blamed for not keeping their mouths shut, they are likely to face a hostile response from police officers, the process of investigating the crime can be so traumatic for the survivor that it’s sometimes called “the second rape” — and after all that, odds are low that the attacker is ever likely to face legal consequences for their actions.

It’s worth noting another reason that Kavanaugh’s accusers in particular wouldn’t have been comfortable coming forward about what happened to them in the early 1980s. The way our culture thought about rape at the time was fundamentally different than it is now.

In the 1980s, “rape” meant an attack from a stranger in a dark alley, not something that acquaintances did to each other at house parties where everyone knows each other. In 1982, it would have been difficult for women like Swetnick and Christine Blasey Ford to find the language to describe what had happened to them.

“I completely reject that notion,” said French on Twitter, when presented with the argument that the way our culture talked about rape in the 1980s was different than it is today. “I was in high school in the 1980s. Gang rape was viewed as a horrible crime then, too.”

It’s true that gang rape was considered a horrible crime in the 1980s — but in the abstract, when thought of as a crime perpetrated by a group of strangers on an innocent, sober, virginal good girl victim in a dark alley. But it’s simply not the case that the mainstream culture at large in the ’80s had the same ideas we do today about sexual assault — especially when it’s perpetrated by people who know each other, at parties, around alcohol.

We can tell that it’s not the case, because there are many beloved, iconic movies made in the 1980s that built entire comedic subplots over what we can better recognize today as rape scenes. And in those movies, rape wasn’t a horrible crime. It was supposed to be funny.

The ’80s were a decade of film comedy hugely informed by the recent success of 1978’s Animal House, which features a rape fantasy scene filmed in what critic Emily Nussbaum describes as “the perviest possible way.”

It was the decade that gave us Revenge of the Nerds, which, as Noah Brand put it at the Good Men Project, “has so much rape culture, you could use it to make rape yogurt”; it gave us Police Academy and its “nonconsensual blowjobs are a fun and light-hearted prank” ethos. And perhaps most disturbingly, it gave us the comedic rape subplot in Sixteen Candles, John Hughes’s much beloved and iconic 1984 teen romance.

Sixteen Candles isn’t a college sex romp like Revenge of the Nerds or Animal House. It’s a high school love story. It’s been celebrated for 34 years for its sweet, romantic heart. Yet it is entirely willing to feature a lengthy, allegedly hilarious subplot in which a drunk and unconscious girl is passed from one boy to another and then raped.

The drunk girl in question is Caroline (Haviland Morris), the girlfriend to romantic hero Jake Ryan, and if you know one thing about Sixteen Candles, it’s that Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling) is perfect. He is the impossibly cool, impossibly beautiful senior guy who is dating the impossibly beautiful senior girl — and yet, as soon as Jake Ryan hears that gawky, awkward sophomore Samantha (Molly Ringwald) has a crush on him, he immediately begins to like her back, defying all the laws of god, man, and high school popularity.

Jake Ryan is the embodiment of a fantasy so compelling it instantly made Sixteen Candles iconic: What if the object of all your romantic high school dreams decided to pursue you without you having to expend any effort whatsoever, just because they could see that you were, like, deeper and more special than the rest of the school? What if they somehow saw that without you ever having to have a conversation or interact with them in any way?

“Jake stands the test of time,” wrote Hank Stuever in the Washington Post in 2004. He quotes a 34-year-old woman who grew up on Jake Ryan: “Oh, gosh, Jake Ryan. Just thinking about it now, I get … kind of … It’s all just too good to be true.”

Jake Ryan’s reputation as the ideal dream boy of every teenage girl’s deepest fantasies has lasted for decades. Jake, writes Stuever, “is Christ, redeeming the evil sins of high school. Jake as the ideal. Jake as the eternal belief in something better.”

Yet Jake Ryan cold-bloodedly hands a drunk and unconscious Caroline over to another guy and says, “Have fun.”

In 1984, you could be a perfect dream boy and also be an accessory to date rape. They were not mutually exclusive ideas. In fact, they reinforced each other.

In the moral universe of Sixteen Candles, Jake is allowed to be callous to Caroline without losing his dream boy status because, Sixteen Candles briskly assures us, Caroline is not the right kind of girl. She has breasts, and she drinks. She’s potentially a little bit slutty. “She doesn’t know shit about love,” Jake explains. “The only thing she cares about is partying.”

The fact that Jake casually despises his longtime girlfriend doesn’t reflect poorly on him, because it doesn’t affect the fantasy at the heart of Sixteen Candles. What Sixteen Candles is selling is the dream of the unattainable guy falling in love with the everygirl. So for the fantasy to work, Jake must prove his deep and abiding love for Sam. Ignoring and degrading Caroline is an easy shortcut to that goal, because in the moral universe of Sixteen Candles, the more you degrade one girl — the whore — the more you can exalt the virgin.

So Caroline gets drunk at a party and passes out in her boyfriend’s room, where presumably she believes she will be safe. Jake, disgusted, comments that “I could violate her 10 different ways if I wanted to,” but now that the pure and virginal charms of Sam are in his sights, “I’m just not interested anymore.”

Instead, he passes her over to Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) — who is listed in the credits only as “the Geek” — reasoning, “She’s so blitzed she won’t know the difference.” The poor Geek has had no luck with girls, so Jake illustrates his generous magnanimity by installing the Geek in his own fancy car, with his own fancy unconscious girlfriend next to him, and says, “Have fun.”

In the car, Caroline regains consciousness long enough to ask who the Geek is, and Jake assures her that the Geek is, in fact, him, a casual manipulation that Caroline is too drunk to register as false. The pair drives off into the night, and Caroline climbs into the Geek’s lap and purrs, “I love you,” disoriented and out of it. The Geek looks straight into the camera lens and grins, “This is getting good.”

The next time we see Caroline, she’s unconscious again, and the Geek is having his friends photograph him next to her unresponsive body. “Ted, you’re a legend,” they gush.

The next morning, a newly sober Caroline and Geek conclude that they had sex the night before. The Geek asks Caroline if she enjoyed herself. “You know, I have this weird feeling I did,” Caroline says.

“She had to have a feeling about it, rather than a thought,” wrote Molly Ringwald in the New Yorker last year, in a long, empathetic reexamination of her work with John Hughes, “because thoughts are things we have when we are conscious, and she wasn’t.”

The camera lingers on the mismatched pair — the beautiful cheerleader and the Geek, who we all know never, ever would have had sex if the cheerleader had anything to say about it in her right mind — and waits for us to laugh. The joke is that they had sex despite the fact that the cheerleader didn’t want to. It’s funny.

The Geek’s culpability here is muddy. He is ostensibly relieved of responsibility for the encounter because Caroline is the one who came onto him — although he was sober enough to recognize that she wouldn’t do so if she weren’t drunk. And like Caroline, he was drunk enough to black out the next morning, throwing his own ability to consent into question — although he was sober enough to drive, and unlike Caroline, he wasn’t fading in and out of consciousness all night.

Whether or not the Geek is directly responsible for committing date rape, the fact remains that Caroline had sex she didn’t consent to, and the movie expects its audience to respond to that development with righteous glee. Jake — perfect, dreamy, too-good-to-be-true Jake Ryan — orchestrated the situation while in perfect control of his faculties. The movie expects that fact to make him only dreamier, because every time Jake degrades Caroline it proves more firmly that he considers Sam to be special and above degradation.

Here are the basic ideas embedded in this plot:

• Girls who drink are asking for it. Girls who have sex are asking for it. Girls who go to parties are asking for it. They are asking for it even if they only drink and have sex and party with their monogamous boyfriends. Whatever happens to that kind of girl as a result is funny.

• Boys are owed girls. A good guy will help his nerdy bro to get a girl. Her consent is not necessary or desired.

• To avoid being the kind of girl who gets raped, you need to earn male approval. If you earn male approval, other girls might be raped, but you won’t be, and that will prove that you are special.

• Once you earn male approval, it can be taken away — as Caroline’s goes away once Jake tires of her — and then you’ll go from being the kind of girl who doesn’t get raped to the kind of girl who does.

• A good guy can participate in this whole system and remain an unsullied dream guy.

• The kind of girl who gets raped has no right to complain about what happens to her. Also it isn’t rape.

That’s how mainstream culture presented rape, and thus affirmed rape culture, in 1984.

On many levels, it’s not far off from how larges parts of our culture think about rape today — but we bury those values now. In 2018, we no longer enshrine these values in stories of unambiguous rape that are embedded into beloved romantic classics. We offer alternative narratives and are capable of having conversations about date rape.

In the 1980s, though, alternative narratives were few and far between. They were mostly offered only by feminism, and in the 1980s, mainstream culture considered feminism shrill and unfashionable.

That doesn’t mean that people went to see movies like Sixteen Candles and immediately thought, “Wow, that looks like fun, I’d better go get a bunch of girls drunk and have sex with them without their consent.” Sixteen Candles is not singlehandedly responsible for the rape culture of the 1980s. But like all popular culture, it does both reflect and help to shape the social context in which it exists.

The dominant cultural narrative at the time of Brett Kavanaugh’s high school experience was the one offered by Sixteen Candles. And it taught any girl who went to a party and got assaulted by an acquaintance that whatever happened to her was surely her fault, that it proved that she was the wrong kind of girl, that it was funny, that she had nothing whatsoever to complain about, and that it absolutely wasn’t rape.

Under those circumstances, the mystery is not why “any person would continue to go to … ten parties over a two-year period where women were routinely gang raped and not report it,” as Sen. Graham argued. The mystery is why anyone ever came forward with their story at all.

Original Source -> The rape culture of the 1980s, explained by Sixteen Candles

via The Conservative Brief