‘You got to remember there’s three basic approaches to philosophy in these parts,’ said Didactylos. ‘Tell him, Urn.’ ‘There’s the Xenoists,’ said Urn promptly. ‘They say the world is basically complex and random. And there’s the Ibidians. They say the world is basically simple and follows certain fundamental rules.’ ‘And there’s me,’ said Didactylos, pulling a scroll out of its rack. ‘Master says basically it’s a funny old world,’ said Urn. ‘And doesn’t contain enough to drink,’ said Didactylos.

-- Terry Pratchett- Small Gods

"I thought it would be all over when Vorbis was dead."

Didactylos stared into his inner world.

"It takes a long time for people like Vorbis to die. They leave echoes in history."

"I know what you mean."

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“I’m reminded of the time when old Prince Lasgere of Tsort asked me how he could become learned, especially since he hadn’t got any time for this reading business. I said to him, ‘There is no royal road to learning, sire,’ and he said to me, ‘Bloody well build one or I shall have your legs chopped off. Use as many slaves as you like.’ A refreshingly direct approach, I always thought. Not a man to mince words. People, yes. But not words.”

— Didactylos the philosopher, in Small Gods

I’ve just got to the bit in the new Small Gods audiobook where Andy Serkis sort of slips into Gollum-voice and I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Magnificence narration choices. And 8 hours in I’m still delighted than the great god Om sounds a bit scouse.

What gets to me about Vorbis is that he's sincere. He's not corrupt, he's not a hypocrite; he is a pious follower of the Church of Om who obeys every rule. And yet he is one of the evilest people on the Disc.

I'm only casually familiar, but I get the feeling that there's a common plot where there's a corrupt and decadent religion that is returned to its good roots by a humble believer. The villains are often priests who put up a veneer of piety in public while they secretly hoard wealth and get drunk in violation of their religion's tenets.

Small Gods is not that plot. Brutha isn't fighting the corruption of Om's words, nor is he fighting people who use religion as a means to wealth and power. If anything, he's the one who 'corrupted' Omnianism into a religion of peace and debate.

The church under Vorbis isn't a corruption of Om's words as much as a distillation; at the very start, Om only cared about getting new followers and putting unbelievers to the sword, and now he has countries conquered in his name and heretics put to the knife. And Vorbis doesn't seek wealth or power for himself; he denies himself pleasures of the flesh, and dedicates himself entirely to his religion (or so he thinks).

When Vorbis kills the porpoise, not even Brutha can find a word in the books of the Prophets against that. When Didactylos burns the Library of Ephebe, he says it's in part a way to keep its knowledge out of Vorbis's hands, but Brutha knows that Vorbis would not read a single scroll. And the scene where Om and Brutha are eating the melon in Ephebe hits me every time; Om thinks that Vorbis is feasting, while Brutha says that he only eats stale bread. He adds that he sits and waits for the bread to get stale.

all this made me wish reading 'Small Gods' at least once, was obligatory for everyone

“The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).”

“It's hard to explain," said Brutha. "But I think it's got something to do with how people should behave… you should do things because they're right. Not because gods say so. They might say something different another time.”

“I know about sureness,' said Didactylos. 'I remember, before I was blind, I went to Omnia once. And in your Citadel I saw a crowd stoning a man to death in a pit. Ever seen that?' 'It has to be done,' Brutha mumbled. 'So the soul can be shriven and-' 'Don't know about the soul. Never been that kind of philosopher,' said Didactylos. 'All I know is, it was a horrible sight.' 'The state of the body is not-' 'Oh, I'm not talking about the poor bugger in the pit,' said the philosopher. 'I'm talking about the people throwing the stones. They were sure all right. They were sure it wasn't them in the pit. You could see it in their faces. So glad it wan't them in the pit that they were throwing just as hard as they could.”

“… a man needs no camel to ride to hell, yea, nor horse, nor mule; a man may ride into hell on his tongue…”

Okay how about! 76 with Discworld, specifically the Small Gods guys unless something else fits better

76. We Forgot We Were Human - Dirt Poor Robins

Om peers over the side of the boat. "I've got a good feeling about this escape that we're having, here," he says, which is a lie. Brutha doesn't answer at first. Brutha is staring over the water at the dark waves at the horizon. "It's a funny thing, with Didactylos," he says after a moment. "And the rest of the Ephebians. They seem to think that we can have our own ideas about the world." "Um," says Om. "Which is impossible, of course," Brutha says with that eternally unshakeable confidence, "because the ideas we have about the world are the ones that come down from Omnian Doctrine." "Yes, which is unshakable," Om agrees on principle. "Obey me in totality! I will destroy the sun from touching your face if you dare to disobey!" It does seem true that humans are trying to come up with new ways to do the same things they used to achieve via prayer, though, Om can't help but notice. Paying attention to the shape of the world. What, do they think they can make the sun come up? Without prayer? If they're going to start doing things on their own...

This one was tough, ALTHOUGH the song was a pretty good tonal match for Small Gods! I last read this book... about fifteen years ago, and other than Om screaming "smite thee!" I do not remember a lot about his patter style. Hopefully he sounds right!

Send me a character and a number 1-100, and I'll write a drabble about them based on that song on my Wrapped!

Book #74 - Small Gods by Terry Pratchett

(first time read and... sincerely. with all my heart. what the fuck.) I got hit by just about every plot curve ball this book possibly had to offer and I think it left me with  a slight concussion. It has been very hard to try and put this post together over the last two weeks. This one leaves out most of the usual Discworld comedy (or hits harder, so that the comedy comes up less pronounced, idk). I think the only time I really laughed out loud was when the Omnian version of Dibbler tried to lobby God and sell him his weird food. Oh, and when Didactylos threw his lantern at Vorbis. Didactylos in general was awesome. Yes, one of my favourite one-of Discworld characters ends up being the Diogenes-Galilei mashup with the best version of Plato's Cave I ever read. That's just how it goes sometimes. By the way... I need a little time, sometimes, to get into a book and pick up on the right vibes and stuff. Discworld normally doesn't take me more than fifty pages or so, on average more like ten or fifteen... Small Gods, which took at least 170 pages to get me on board, is a statistical anomaly which will need closer examination before being admitted into the count. Seriously, for about a 100 pages, I picked up nothing but Tombs Of Atuan vibes, and that was no help whatsoever to my poor confused brain. (I mean... religious zealotry, desert, something horrible in the basement? Tombs Of Atuan. I'm right, shut up.) Anyway, uhhhh....  Vorbis is fucking scary. Like actually legitimately terrifying? A tortoise to the head was the perfect way to take him out. If he had died any other way it would... it wouldn't have worked. I don't know. I think the reason why the plot caught me off-guard as much as it did was that I just failed to foresee the absolute depths of Vorbis' evil and ingenuity. The last third gets so defiantly compassionate that it almost got hard to read at times, and I for one found that very punk. Small Gods is unique, even among Discworld novels. I'm beginning to learn that the stand-alone novels hit different (in this case harder, and with a two-by-four) than the ones with established characters and established places. It's nice, in a way, to have found this out. Even with a black eye to show for it.

Listening to the new discworld audio books which are, on the whole, read quite well, (with the exception of a few character voices in Small Gods, Andy Serkis what were you thinking? Weird american Didactylos and Urn are just wrong) and getting smacked in the face with the reminder that, oh yeah, Colin Morgan is from Armagh.

Title: Small Gods

Author: Terry Pratchett

Pages: 398

Rating: 4/5

This is a comedic (and emotional) adventure story about religion, philosophy and politics. I really appreciated the distinction between having a good memory and being smart too.

In this book we mainly follow the Great God Om, currently in the form of a tortoise, and his only believer, Brutha, an acolyte with an extraordinary memory. Gods need people to believe in them so that they can keep existing and that is Om's main objective. Meanwhile, Vorbis, the Head of the Omnian Quisition has his own plans and he needs to use Brutha to achieve his goals.

It took me a while to get invested in this story because I missed the usual Discworld main characters that I know and love, but Brutha and Om started to grow on me and Vorbis was fascinating. I also really liked the philosopher Didactylos (obviously Diogenes) and he has one of my favourite moments, which is the following:

'You are blind?' 'Only as far as vision is concerned, my lord.'

I don't consider this to be the funniest book in the series and it didn't have the emotional impact that "Hogfather" or "Carpe Jugulum" had on me, but I can see why it's a favourite for so many Discworld fans. I can see someone that is very into religion, mythology and philosophy having a lot of fun catching all of the references in this story.

The plot point about the slaves was odd and uncomfortable to read because in this world they wanted to remain slaves. The way all of that was presented didn't sit well with me. Fortunately, it was a very very small part of the story.

I really enjoyed pages 100 to 244, but after that the book went on for too long for my liking and the themes got a bit repetitive. This is an issue I usually have with the earlier works in the series in general and I would say that most of the books that came after got better, from the ones I have read. I wouldn't say that the one that follows in chronological order, "Lord and Ladies", is better than this one, but I think "Men at Arms" is.        

His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools – the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans – and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, ‘You can’t trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so let’s have a drink.’

-- Terry Pratchett- Small Gods

What should I name my kayak? I'm torn between The Twoflower and Sink Me Own Boat Dibbler. Any discworld inspired ideas?

Either would be a solid choice. I think that The Twoflower could be a nice name whether you're peacefully paddling in calm waters or on an adventure of a more tourist-y nature. I love Sink Me Own Boat Dibbler, which definitely sounds like a character right out of Discworld.

Alas, I would normally be better at suggesting names, but I'm sorry to say that you've caught me in a mix of tired/preoccupied/unfocused that does not lend itself well to thinking of Discworld-related kayak names. But, since you did ask for ideas, how about Cheesemonger, in reference to the scene in Monstrous Regiment in which the folk song behind the regiment's nickname is discussed? ["Was there canoodling, sarge?" said Tonker, grinning. "Kayaking, I expect," said Igorina to general sniggering.]

If you wanted to name it after a Discworld boat, here is a (incomplete) list of boat names:

Prid of Ankh-Morpork: The flagship of the Ankh-Morporkian fleet. The man painting the name before it sailed for Klatch forgot the "e". (Jingo)

Unnamed Boat: When Vorbis takes over Ephebe Simony, Brutha, Om, Didactylos, and Urn use this vessel to flee Ephebe. This steam powered craft was built by Urn, who felt that it did not need a name as it was a thing and that it would have been a waste to have broken an amphora of wine over it. (Small Gods)

Fin of God: This Omnian ship was destroyed by the Sea Queen while in pursuit of the Unnamed Boat, and is now in search of an agreeable Promised Land. (Small Gods)

Melon Boat: This unusual thing that the Senior Wrangler insisted on calling the "melon boat" brought the wizards and Mrs. Whitlow from Mono Island to XXXX. (The Last Continent)

Maria Pesto: This ship breifly orbited the Disc after it was blown over The Rim near the Bay of Mante. This may have been the boat that Death was supposed to find in Mort. [YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF THE BAY OF MANTE, HAVE YOU? "No, sir," said Mort. FAMOUS SHIPWRECK THERE. "Was there?" THERE WILL BE, said Death, IF I CAN FIND THE D@-N PLACE.] (The Last Hero)

"You are the...perpetrator?" said Vorbis.

"Indeed. Didactylos is my name."

"You are blind?"

"Only so far as vision is concerned, my lord."

"Yet you carry a lantern," said Vorbis. "Doubtless for some catchword reason. Probably you'll tell me you're looking for an honest man?"

"I don't know, my lord. Perhaps you could tell me what he looks like?"

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

The truth of what's going on in our country! Don't be afraid to learn the differences in the world and make up your own minds. Don't let others tell you what to think

On the origin of things - 'The philospher Didactylos has summed up an alternative hypothesis as "Things just happen. What the hell."'

Terry Pratchett, Hogfather