For all, the photographs would be marred by a blemish, a flaw in the film emulsion creating a haze that hung over the car.

David Seltzer, from The Omen

The First Omen Trailer

"When a young American woman is sent to Rome to begin a life of service to the church, she encounters a darkness that causes her to question her own faith and uncovers a terrifying conspiracy that hopes to bring about the birth of evil incarnate." (20th Century Studios)

The First Omen stars Nell Tiger Free, Tawkeef Barhom, Sonia Braga, Ralph Ineson, and Bill Nighy. Arkasha Stevenson directs. The story is by Ben Jacoby and the screenplay is by Tim Smith & Arkasha Stevenson and Keith Thomas. The film is based on characters created by David Seltzer.

The First Omen releases to theaters on April 5, 2024.

FANCIFUL REVIEW | The Omen by David Seltzer

I am assuming at this point that most people are familiar with this story, given that it has been around since 1976, and has been spoofed a million times, but I'm still going to avoid spoilers as much as possible. #horror #bookreview #amreading

The Omen by David SeltzerMy rating: 5 of 5 starsJeremy Thorne and wife Katherine have just had their son, after years of trying and losing pregnancies. Damien seems like a gift from the heavens, fulfilling the dreams of his parents and completing their little family. But in only a few short years, it becomes clear that Damien may not be as angelic as he once appeared. CW miscarriage, animal…

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The First Omen (15): The Prequel Nobody Asked For Is Little More Than So-So.

#onemannsmovies #filmreview of "The First Omen". #TheFirstOmen. Horror prequel that fails to scare. 2.5/5.

A One Mann’s Movies review of “The First Omen” (2024). Bob the Movie Man Rating: Plot Summary: Margaret (Nell Tiger Free), a young American woman, arrives in Rome to take her vows at a convent there. But she finds dark goings on around a young woman in her teaching care, Carlita Scianna (Nicole Sorace), who spends long periods imprisoned in her room. Certification: UK: 15; US: R. (From the…

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Punchline (1988).

Safe Foods

2024

Aluminum foil, stone clay, Hershey’s kisses wrappers and plumes, found objects, cardstock, spray paint, acrylic paint, glass microbead paint

inspired by David Seltzer, Sea Salt/Lemon Sage

With celiac disease, every meal is a risk. Gluten hides everywhere, from restaurant griddles to soy sauce and licorice. Since my diagnosis, I’ve identified “safe foods” I can always trust not to set off an intestine-destroying immune response: whole fruit, plain potato chips, most hot dogs, Hershey’s chocolate. When I’m stranded and hungry, I look for them. Drawing on the bright colors and abstract inedibility of David Seltzer’s Sea Salt/Lemon Sage, I made my safe foods easier to find by rendering them in an ANSI-inspired worksite safety palette. Use the headlamp for the full high-visibility experience.

Exciting news: This sculpture is on display at the ArtsWorcester gallery show Feast: Call and Response with the Fitchburg Art Museum through April 21, 2024.

Even more exciting news: the Fitchburg Art Museum selected it, along with nine other pieces from the show, to exhibit this summer!

Random Cyberpunk: Edgerunners headcanons because I desperately miss my blorbos and was absolutely DEVASTATED by what the show did to them:

Maine tried to set up a swear jar but it never really caught on because every few weeks Rebecca would dump like 500 eddies in the jar at a time with the explanation of “I’m paying my monthly fuck allowance”

Kiwi and Dorio have a girls night every week where they get really drunk while getting mani-pedis and bitch about everything

David and Lucy are both autistic and hate fabric textures (hence the whole “walking around the apartment butt ass naked” thing)

Falco is terrible at cooking in every way conceivable BUT makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich

Rebecca and Pilar both have ADHD

Kiwi doesn’t save people’s names in her phone and has her friends memorized by number and it scares them

David and Rebecca will sometimes just start vocal stimming back and forth

Maine once walked in on the two of them going back and forth saying “beebus borbus” at each other over and over again

Maine and Dorio met when they were both in the army

Pilar has a ridiculous skincare routine

Rebecca once drank an entire container of Pilar’s lotion after he accused her of stealing it

David has sensory issues with carbonation and therefore absolutely DESPISES seltzers/fizzy drinks

He always gives Rebecca fizzy drinks that people buy for him and she gets absolutely wasted because of this

Maine snores insanely loudly. Dorio Hates It. She has banished Maine to the couch many times.

Lucy was a Warrior Cats kid

Maine liked to call his payments to Gloria “child support” even though he is in no way related to David

Pilar cries at those ASPCA commercials

Kiwi refuses to use the wrist strap on the Wii remote and has chucked it through the TV multiple times playing Wii bowling

Dorio adores children in theory but can’t tolerate them for more than 5 minutes

Lucy carries pepper spray and a taser at all times and uses them on people who annoy her

Falco used to wear a fedora but it got stolen and he never fully recovered

Maine wears socks with flip flops

David and Ethan

Pictured Ethan

Part 5: An Exciting Vacation (III)

David and Jeff had finally drifted off to sleep. They had jacked off at each others’ bodily functions and had a good nights rest. The two decided not to tell Ethan about that night’s event. The next few days sent David off to work at the local office in the city. It was an 8-5 timeframe for the next few days, which left Ethan and Jeff to their own vices. The two friends awoke late the next morning after David had gone to work. Both were in need of the bathroom. Ethan needed to take a dump. They wished each other a good morning. Ethan was the first to get out of bed. He stood up, let out a loud burp, then hiked his left leg up to let out an enormous fart that lasted 15 seconds. Jeff chuckled at his friend’s fart, “Ethan you stink”. Ethan had passed a smelly fart. “Excuse me” replied Ethan. “I need to take a dump. Haven’t gone in a couple of days. Care to join me?” Jeff replied with, “sure thing! I have to pee”. Both have had buddy dumps in the past and have seen each other naked so this wasn’t out of the ordinary. Jeff was the first to use the toilet. Jeff had a lot of urine stored up. He farted twice during the middle of his piss, which both boys laughed at. Once Jeff finshed, Ethan took a seat on the toilet. Jeff proped himself on to the vanity to watch Ethan take a dump. Ethan was a bit consitpated. He started his piss as he sat on the toilet, then let two big farts echo into the room. Both had chuckled at the farts. Ethan was grunting a bit as he sat on the toilet, until his turd hit the water with a loud splash. “You ok” asked Jeff. “Yeah” replied Ethan. “I’m really constipated.” “You didn’t take any of your dad’s alka seltzer for heartburn did you?”  asked Jeff. Ethan laughed and replied with a resounding no. Ethan was able to pass three more turds into the toilet. He finished 15 minutes later, with Jeff commenting on how huge his dump was. Like his father the night before, Ethan’s dump had almost clogged the toilet. “Phew… that was a close one” muttered Ethan. Jeff laughed in response.

There was a bit of fart talk after Ethan’s dump. They again reminisced about their farts from the night before. Jeff had commented on David’s, how big they were. This led Ethan to ask Jeff about his father and his fart habits. This was the first time during their friendship that Ethan had asked this question. Jeff, while caught off guard, felt the need to reciprocate since he got to experience Ethan’s dad fart around him. “My dad farts quite often” explained Jeff. “You know I have two older brother’s as well. Our dad encouraged us to fart when we had too. We never held back in front of one another with our farts. The bigger the better. There was one time we had a wedding rehersal to attend. The four of us were at a hotel one night and had a huge dinner after rehersal. We were very gassy by the time we got back to our room. Still in our suits, we just started farting shamelessly. I remember hearing muffled rumbles come from my dad as he sat on the hotel’s leather chair watching the news.” That’s awesome,” replied Ethan. “Maybe your dad could get with the three of us and we can have a fart-a-thon.” Jeff laughed and pondered on the idea to himself.

The rest of the trip followed a similar routine. Ethan and Jeff went siteseeing in the city while David tended to his work. The three would have the same ritual every evening as far as their farts were concerned. Ethan and Jeff slept in the same bed for the remainder of the trip, spooning each other while blasting their farts on each other in the bed. Eventually the day came for the men to pack up and head home. They had a big breakfast at the airport. Ethan was experiencing heartburn due to the hot sauce he had with his burrito. He asked his father for an alka seltzer tablet, which he took right away. “Be careful son,” replied David. “Those might give you some major gas” “Not like you,” replied Ethan. Both David and Jeff laughed. They eventually checked-in at their designated gate. There was an hour’s wait before their scheduled flight. Ethan started nodding off in one of the terminal chair’s as he did not get much sleep the night before. David and Jeff were on both sides of him. They both felt a vibration come from Ethan as he was sitting there, dozing off. David and Jeff grinned at each other after they felt the vibration. “Oh Ethan,” David told Jeff. “He’s always farted in his sleep. And now he’s full of gas. Hope he doesn’t cut a huge one here and embarrass himself.” Jeff laughed. Both went back to doing what they were doing. Ethan was full of gas, farting into his seat every couple of minutes. Jeff and David could feel the vibrations of his farts. Some were even audible. Others who were seated nearby could feel the vibrations as well, but decided to be polite and not embarrass Ethan. They politely moved to another area of the terminal, which David and Jeff noticed. The plane finally arrived so David woke up Ethan to tell him that they’d be boarding soon. Ethan needed to use the bathroom so he and his father went before boarding the flight. The bathroom was quiet, but there were other men coming in an out. David took a urinal with Ethan taking a urinal two spots away from his dad. Both men starting pissing. Ethan felt pressure build in his gut at that moment. Thinking he could silence his fart, he let it rip, but it was much louder than expected. David chuckled at his son’s fart. The other men at the sinks also chuckled to themselves. Ethan was embarrassed, but let go the rest of his farts at that point. As they walked out of the restrooms, David complimented his son on his restroom farts and told him he knew how gassy he was, to which Ethan responded “big time.”

They eventually got on the flight home, with Ethan ripping a few poots into his seat. He told Jeff about his incident in the airport bathroom which his father confirmed. They  arrived back home safely. As Jeff was about to head home, David had mentioned that he had a few more trips like these in the coming months and that he was welcome to join them again. Ethan had brought up Jeff’s father joining them as well, which David welcomed. Jeff said he’d let his dad know about the next trip, thinking about the implications of it all.

To be continued…

OKAY! Fic prompt request.

I'm thinking the, “Do you want me to stay?” line for David/Angel earlier in their relationship when he's being a prickly boi and Angel isn't sure if this is still just them playing or if he really isn't into them. Like, a moment of doubt where David has to realize he's being too much of a jerk and be clear about his feelings...

Hi, @dominimoonbeam! Oh, what an excellent choice. One prickly-on-the-outside-mushy-on-the-inside boi coming up. Hope you enjoy! 

Rating: T, WC: ~2K, Prompts: “Do you want me to stay?” and David/Angel

“Because the last thing I would want to do after a full day of security work is get dressed up and go to some office party where I don’t know anyone,” David Shaw grumbled. He handed Angel a can of orange-flavored seltzer water. “Why would you think I’d ever want to go to something you’ve been bitching about for weeks? Just skip it. We’ll hang out here on Saturday night. We could even order in if you want.”

“Thanks.” Angel cracked the top of the can, letting the rush of fizzy bubbles rise and then dissipate before they took a sip. “I told you before, I can’t skip it. If I don’t go, it makes me look bad.” They crossed their ankle over their knee and leaned their chin onto their hand. “Skipping this bullshit work party could be a reason I don’t get offered an important client or have a team leader reject my version of pitch for a client I already have.”

David rolled his eyes. “That seems a little dramatic,” he said. 

“I’m not being dramatic!” Angel hotly countered. “That’s how office politics work, okay? You’ve only ever worked for your father in a family business and now, you work for yourself.” They set the seltzer on the floor. “You don’t know how these things work, so stop pretending you do.”  

David paused a bit, realizing that Angel was misunderstanding him. He knew how uptight they got when they mentioned over and over again about attending this party. The last thing he wanted to do was add to their stress. Honestly, all David wanted was for them to blow off the party entirely. It seemed like it would be the best thing for Angel. In the months since he had met them, David saw firsthand just how hard they worked for the good of their company, often at the expense of themselves. He wished they didn’t feel the need to have to prove themselves constantly. “I didn’t mean you were being dramatic. I meant, your work is dramatic,” he said, a sharp edge imbued in his voice that only upset David more. He didn’t mean for any of his vitriol to be directed towards them. He was upset at their work culture and the pressure their supervisors carelessly put on them because they knew that Angel would respond to that type of treatment and produce incredible work. He hated to see them being taken advantage of, and he certainly had no desire to attend some boring party with Angel and slap a fake smile on his face as he pretended to be excited to meet the people who often used Angel’s work ethic to benefit a faceless company. 

It was like he couldn’t find a way to express any nuance after having constructed his overall hard demeanor and keeping it in place for so long. At least Asher and a few others in the pack had known David before he had inherited his alpha standing and could at least remember that David once did have room for joy in his life. But Angel had only ever known him like this. For the most part, David had been beyond pleased to see that Angel almost presumed there was more to him, deep inside, even if they had very little proof of that fact. And as much as David wanted to show them that they were right about that, he couldn’t, no matter how hard he was trying. 

“Whatever,” Angel shrugged, turning their face away from David. “Clearly, you don’t want to go to the party at my dramatic work. So fine then. Don’t go. But don’t expect me to stay here so I can sit in your apartment and insult me.”

“I didn’t insult you!” David yelped. “I was-”

“Don’t tell me whether or not I feel insulted!” Angel launched themselves off of the couch so they could stand in front of David. “You don’t get to decide that. I do!”

“Then don’t twist my words around and make them mean something they don’t.” David inwardly cringed at how dismissive he sounded as his voice dropped low, like he was trying to intimidate Angel into backing down. He knew that wasn’t at all how he should be reacting to them, but it was like his emotional expressiveness was stuck on autopilot. Intimidation was his typical go-to, and after only reaching for that for so long, he suddenly found himself unable to do anything else. It was an irony that made David want to scream. He had spent so long gluing that mask of indifference to his face. Never once did he imagine he’d have to take on the insurmountable task of trying to pry that mask off. 

But for Angel? For Angel, he’d rip off that mask piece by piece until it was gone. 

Angel’s eyes narrowed. “If you don’t mean the sentiment that the words carry, don’t say them at all. It’s not that hard of a concept, you know. Even children know that!” They swallowed nervously. “Is it that you don’t want to be seen with me, David? Is that why you won’t go to this thing?” Their whole body drooped.

Angel paused to let David answer the question, but he was so dumbfounded that Angel would even consider something so far from the truth that he didn’t respond in what they apparently determined was enough time. 

“That’s it, isn’t it?” It was like all of the anger drained out of Angel and only hurt was left behind. “That’s why we stay in so often or only go out when I drag you to something I planned. You don’t want to be seen with me.”

“What?” David’s face fell when he realized how Angel harbored such a destructive thought. Then, he realized as he considered the development of their relationship, he was the one who made it look like that. Some of David’s brusqueness over going out or having Angel meet his friends was due to his commitment to keeping covert, not to mention he wanted to avoid any pack gossip until he figured out why in the world he couldn’t stop thinking about this unempowered human, despite his decision to resign himself to a life of singleness for the good of the pack. Second, as much as David hated to admit it, he sometimes struggled in social situations and he didn’t want someone as extraverted, open and, frankly, amazing as Angel to see him struggle with anything, especially something like that. So, rather than give them the opportunity to see his faults, he had hidden away the problem entirely, only to create a bigger problem that he didn’t realize was developing until Angel finally confronted him about it. 

They confronted him about even the toughest things. Angel’s fortitude never failed to amaze David. 

“Because if you don’t want to be seen out with me, then I see no reason you should be seen in with me, either,” Angel declared. “Umm, I mean…” They scrambled to find a better way to tell David off. “Maybe you’d rather I just go now, so as not to ruin your night with my drama.”

“Angel,” David said after the sensation of the knife in his gut dulled to a mere ache. “Stay. Please stay.”

“Oh?” Angel gasped, not at all assuaged. “Hmm, now that’s a tough riddle. Do you want me to stay?” they sarcastically wondered, scratching their chin. “Because when it comes to translating English into David-ish, meaning gets lost pretty easily.” 

“Yes, please,” David declared. “I really want you to stay.”

Angel heaved a sigh as they relaxed back into the sofa and gave David a scorching glare.

“What you were thinking, about my being annoyed or sick of you or your work drama or anything similar. It’s not that. Not any of that, okay? I’m sorry my…” David haphazardly gestured to the room. “I don’t know, my preference for solitude, I guess, made you think that.” He scooted over to the couch to close the distance between them. As David moved, his ankle accidentally brushed against the can on the floor, spilling the contents. 

“Oh no, the seltzer!” Angel pointed out. 

David didn’t even give the spill a backward glance. “Forget it. This is more important. You’re more important.” He let his hand find the side of their cheek, thumb brushing along their temple. “I would line up the whole world and tell each and every person that we’re together. I’d tell them how indescribably happy you make me. And I’d promise in front of each and every person that I would do anything to make you happy, too,” he said. 

Angel’s face softened. “That’s a nice thought,” they acknowledged with a little laugh. “But honestly, David, I don’t care what you’d tell a bunch of strangers. I care what you tell me. And some days, I just… I’d like to hear that sort of stuff, too.” They let their hand come to David’s wrist, rubbing the inside of it. 

“I’ll be better at that. I swear, I’m trying to be better.” David pulled Angel a little bit closer to him. He felt their warmth breath tickle his neck. “I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but you, you make me want to be better. You deserve the best.” He couldn’t help but kiss them. “I didn’t even think twice about how you would perceive me complaining about your work party. Please believe me when I say it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be seen with you, Angel. Never.”

Hesitantly, Angel asked, “Then why?”

“Because you try so hard every minute you’re actually on the clock, not to mention all the overtime you take on, so I didn’t think you should be expected to spend your own free time hanging out with those same awful people talking about reports and deadlines and memos and excel sheets and clients and…” David trailed off as he realized how inept he was when it came to office jobs. “Your company takes advantage of you. I just didn’t want them to get their grimy little hands on your Saturday night, too, and this time, without even paying you!”

Angel tipped forward slightly, their head coming to rest onto David’s shoulder. “You were worried about me,” they summarized. “You were trying to protect my weekend.”

David nodded. “Yes. That’s all I was trying to do. Except the words came out wrong. I’m sorry, Angel. And, you’re right. I… I don’t know about the expectations of your job and it’s none of my business to tell you what to do or not do, so look, if you want to go, let’s go.” He playfully held out his arm. “It’d be my honor to escort you to the party.”

Angel snatched his arm. “Yay!” they exclaimed. “You’re the only one who could make the night bearable.”

David’s first impulse was to school his face into a neutral expression so that Angel’s comment didn’t cause him to break out in a big, dopey grin. When he looked at Angel, however, he fought that impulse and instead, gave in to an instinct to let that big, dopey grin shine proudly on his face. “Not to mention, you can show me off as your boyfriend.”

“B-b-boyfriend?” Angel sputtered. “I… We haven’t really discussed labels or anything like that.” They reached up to thread their fingers through an unruly wave in David’s hair that curled behind his ear. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, as long as you are,” David confirmed, pulling them into a hug and then a slow kiss. “It’s about damn time I start using the words that capture what I mean.”

The First Omen Trailer

"When a young American woman is sent to Rome to begin a life of service to the church, she encounters a darkness that causes her to question her own faith and uncovers a terrifying conspiracy that hopes to bring about the birth of evil incarnate." (20th Century Studios)

The First Omen stars Nell Tiger Free, Tawkeef Barhom, Sonia Braga, Ralph Ineson, and Bill Nighy. Arkasha Stevenson directs. The story is by Ben Jacoby and the screenplay is by Tim Smith & Arkasha Stevenson and Keith Thomas. The film is based on characters created by David Seltzer.

The First Omen releases to theaters on April 5, 2024.

Did you know that some of America’s most popular candies (Tootsie Rolls! Peeps! Peanut Chews!) were invented by Jews?

How and why this came to pass is a remarkable tale that needs no sugarcoating.  

In the 18th and 19th centuries, Jewish beet farmers throughout the Russian empire produced the bulk of the sugar necessary to satisfy the high demand of the European market. When many of these impoverished farmers fled their shetls at the turn of the 20th century and immigrated to the United States, they leveraged their sugar-processing skills to find employment in candy factories.

Many went on to open their shops; such is the case with Morris “Moishe” Cohen, founder of New York’s famous Economy Candy. Cohen, whose primary trade was shoe and hat repair, ran a sweets cart originally as a side hustle, but found that during the Depression, candy rather than cobbling was bringing in more cash. In 1937, Cohen converted his shop into a full-time confectionary selling sweetmeats, dried fruit, nuts, and gift baskets. More than 80 years later, Economy Candy is still run by Cohen’s descendants and has become a landmark for its incredibly vast (2,000 items and counting) selection of current, vintage and hard-to-find candies. 

Having come from an esteemed line of candymakers in his native Austria, Leo Hirshfield simply thought he was carrying on his familial legacy when he opened his corner candy store in New York in 1896. But in 1908, he unknowingly permanently made the world a little sweeter upon rolling out his own personal invention: a chocolate-flavored chewy cylindrical roll he dubbed “Tootsie,” after his pet name for his daughter Clara. 

A similar sweet success story is that of Romanian immigrant David Seltzer. After setting foot in his new home of Philadelphia, Seltzer made two fortuitous decisions. First, he changed his name to Goldenberg (a variation of Goldberg, which he heard was a “good” name to have in the United States), thereby relieving himself of a moniker that might have condemned him to a career involving bubbly water. Second (and to seal the deal), he went to work making carnival treats, then eventually transitioned into running his own candy business. One of Goldenberg’s most popular creations was a chewy walnut and molasses candy. Later, he swapped walnuts for more cost-effective peanuts, and Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews were born. During the First and Second World Wars, Goldenberg won numerous government contracts to produce Peanut Chews as a “nutritious” non-ration bar for American soldiers.

The flourishing family business was passed on to Goldenberg’s children, Sylvia and Harry, the latter of which passed it onto his sons, Ed and Carl, the latter of which passed it on to his son (also named) David. This great grandson of the original founder eventually sold the Peanut Chew empire in 2003 to Just Born candy company, which still produces the candy to this day under the Goldenberg name. 

Jewish owned and operated Just Born company was also the catalyst for pioneering another classic confection. In 1953, the candy conglomerate acquired the Rodda company, which at the time devoted the majority of its production capacity to churning out jelly beans, only occasionally dabbling at the (significantly more labor-intensive) marshmallow treats known as Peeps. After owner Sam Born’s son Robert invented a machine that reduced production time from 27 hours to six minutes, the company rapidly became the world’s leading manufacturer (irony noted) of arguably America’s most iconic Easter candy.

What is perhaps most compelling about these bonbon backstories is that Hirshfield, Goldenberg, and others took what many might relegate as culinary juvenilia, candymaking, and demonstrated its potential as a form of high art by designing confections that made a lasting impact on the gastronomic landscape. In summarizing the American candy tradition, one might riff on the famous Marvin Gaye lyric, How sweet it is — and it’s made by Jews. 

The Honeybee by Kirsten Hall and Isabelle Arsenault. Little Simon, 2023. 9781665904841 (board book). 44pp. https://www.powells.com/book/-9781665904841?partnerid=34778&p_bt

Hall's mostly rhyming verse and Arsenault's beautiful, charming drawings work together to create this compelling pageturner about bees! And as in excellent comics and picture books, the turning of pages is used to great effect. And the honey glows! (I gave this to my adult daughter as soon as I finished it.)

100 Mighty Dragons All Named Broccoli by David Larochelle and Lian Cho. Dial Books, 2023. 9780525555445. 40pp. https://www.powells.com/book/-9780525555445?partnerid=34778&p_bt

Dragons play, surf, take trains, get turned into things by a wizard, move to different states, fly off (sometimes in rockets), and more in this story that is a fun excuse to do a little addition and subtraction. Brilliant!

Bookstore Bunnies (Read To Read Pre-Level One) by Eric Seltzer, illustrated by Tom Disbury. Simon Spotlight, 2022. 9781665927932. 32pp. https://www.powells.com/book/-9781665927932?partnerid=34778&p_bt

The bookstore bunnies are on the job, helping their animal customers get the books they want. There's even a storytime! It's a perfect read-aloud.

Do you think any amateur could handle a drink like this?

Amour-propre Effervesce | Fizz, Floral, Fandom

Suletta wouldn’t drink, but Guel Jeturk would despite, imo, probably not enjoying the taste of alcohol. However, there’s a classic cocktail that's PERFECT for that -- the Ramos Gin Fizz, which I retemplated to include both an interesting purple sweetener and several layers of floral flavors including rose, with a glorious fluffy crown worthy of the Dilanza’s feather. The floral layers and variety of aromatics feels distinctly appropriate in G Witch, especially for a character like Guel. 

However, the Ramos Gin Fizz isn’t for the Miorines of the cocktail world; it requires some careful prep, and takes a lot of upper arm strength and time shaking. So much like Guel had some... mechanical assistance imposed on him, we’re going to use a great hack established by famous cocktail bar Death & Co. We are going to use a whipped cream dispenser and force-nitro the cocktail to emulsify and foam up, without the hellish amount of shaking. However,  it’s important to follow these instructions carefully.

Note: Alternate creams/vegan foaming agents may not provide the desired effect, due to the importance of the proteins in both the cream and the egg white. If you want to make this a mocktail, you can use your favorite tea in place of gin and omit the creme de violette. 

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT: A Whipped-Cream Dispenser and Nitrous Oxide cartridges(8grm). These don’t need to be industrial grade, iSi whippers -- As long as its not the style marketed as the “Easywhip” with the spout right on top, look below for an example of the shape it should be. These can be bought online, or at culinary supply stores, or your local tobacco/vape shop or adult novelty store. Please DO NOT POINT TOWARDS SELF OR OTHERS WHILE SCREWING IN THE GAS CANISTER, AND ALIGN THE THREADING ON THE CANISTER HOLDER CAREFULLY TO MINIMIZE RISK OF VENTING COLD GAS FROM AN IMPROPER PUNCTURE. 

Step 1: Place serving glass in freezer. 

Step 2. Place the following ingredients in your whipped cream dispenser. 

2 fl oz or 60ml Gin 

0.5 fl oz or 15 ml Lemon Juice

0.5 fl oz or 15 ml Lime Juice

1 Dropper Bittermens Orange Cream Citrate*

.75ml Old Forester Hummingbird Rose & Citrus Bitters [or 2 dashes preferred floral bitters]

0.33 fl oz or 10ml Creme de Violette

1 fl oz or 30ml Blueberry Puree Syrup (I used Reál) 

1 Egg White or 20ml liquid pasteurized egg white

0.75 fl oz or 22.5 ml Heavy Cream

1 drop Orange Blossom Water

1 drop Rosewater

*You can substitute 1 dash orange bitters[Angostura Orange preferable] and 3 drops vanilla extract if necessary or just omit

Have glass ready to receive. 

Add a couple ice cubes and screw on cap tightly. Take 1 8 gram nitrous oxide charger. Common brands include Whip-Its, Bestwhip, and Leland. Insert charger into holder and screw in until you hear it vent into the dispenser.  Give it a few gentle shakes. 

Add about half an ounce of chilled seltzer or soda water to the bottom of frozen glass.  Turn whip cream dispenser so spout is directly facing down and gently -- GENTLY -- press the lever to release. It should take about a minute or so to mostly fill the glass.

After filling or mostly filling the glass, let sit for 2-4 minutes, ideally in freezer. Then make small divot  in foam and slowly pour in about .5-1 ounces or so of soda water. The foam should rise and not collapse if properly made and a straw inserted should stand up straight. 

Lastly, if you desire, as a little nod to Guel’s iconic look, use an atomizer or spray bottle to spritz Peychaud’s bitters on top of the foam. Serve with a spoon to enjoy all the foam. 

Credit is due to Death & Co for originating the nitro-Gin-Fizz, David Wondrich’s Imbibe for all I could ever want or need to know about Fizzes, and this Cocktail Contessa Mocktail for the blueberry syrup inspiration.