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#DUDE I'M GONNA WATCH THIS R E L I G I O U S L Y
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QUACKITY SMP????????????
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sparkedblaze · 1 year
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PART 3 LET'S GOOOOO
*sigh*
Parts 1 and 2
@raggedy-albert tagging you bc you yelled at me ;-;
T/W cursing, talk of violence
"WHERE DOES IT SAY A GUY CAN'T CATCH A BREAK WHY SHOULD YOU ONLY TAKE WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN WHY SHOULD YOU SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE LIVIN' TRAPPED WHERE THERE AIN'T NO FUTURE EVEN AT SEVENTEEN BREAKIN' YOUR BACK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SAKE"
THOSE LYRICS HIT SO FUCKING HARD MY DUDES
JEREMY JORDAN'S VOCALS HOLY SHIT
HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
MOVEMENTS
HIS A C T I N G
"I'll be there"
"Just be real is all I'm askin'."
"I GOT NOTHIN IF I AIN'T GOT SAAAAANTAAAAAAAAA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
That's the end of act 1. I only just finished act 1. I pause it too much to type everything out. And also I napped earlier and it felt g r e a t
Finch laying across the table
"Just ask a fish in the desert"
LES SITTING UNDER THE TABLE
"Why do old people talk?" "To prove they's still alive"
Mush's eyeroll
Squeeze Elmer's shoulder
FRONT PAGE?!
IAIN'S SMILE FUCK HIS SMILE IS SO DAMN CUTE
"WOULD YA LOOKIT THAT'S ME!"
"WHERE'S ME?! WHERE'S ME?!"
"I WON'T BE LAST IN LINE FOR THE TUB TONIIIGHT"
Tommy snatching the pape from Davey
"There's a headline even Elmer could sell"
HENRY'S LAUGH/REACTION TO ^
"JACK DON'T RUN FROM NO FIGHT"
"Take it down shortstop"
"FOR JUMPIN' JACKS SAKE CAN YOU STOW THE SERIOSITY LONG ENOUGH TO JUST DRINK IN THE MOMENT"
HIS LIL PUNCHIES
Albert's look of disgust at being touched without permission
"I'M FAYHMUS"
Henry: So?
"When ya fayhmus tha woild is ya erster."
😕 Wot?
????
"Ya erster"
"What are you saying???"
"EY YAKNOW YA FANCY CLAM WIT THA POIL INSIDE"
"O Y S T E R"
"HOW MUCH DOES BEIN' FAYHMUS P A Y?!"
"U DON'T🚫 NEED MONEY 💲 WHEN UR FAYHMUS😎 THEY GIVES YA WHATEVA YA WANT G R A T I S"
HEARING THE FIRST LIKE CHORDS (?) OF KONY IS THE BEST BC KONY IS THE BEST SONG IF YOU CAN'T TELL BY HOW LONG THIS POST ALREADY IS P MUCH ONLY WITH KONY THINGS
RACE AND KATH DOING THE PLAYFUL HIT THINGS
WHY DID THEY CHANGE RACE'S LINE?! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR ROMEO TO WANT A PERMANENT BOX AT THE SHEEPSHEAD RACES
"Oh no"
*tucks emotional support stick under arm* "knOBBin WIt AlL DA MuCKeTY MuCks I'M BLowIN MY doUGH AND gOIN dELuxE"
Statue of Liberty
The obscene amount of times Racer sticks his tongue out
Raver ruffling Mush's hair
"AMSCRAY PUNK"
"BUNCHA WET NOODLES" "PULITZER'S POODLES"
Davey and Ike playing dogs even after everyone else drops it
EVERY SINGLE FACE IN THE POODLES SCENE
Lemme just (bad quality but I can’t clip it ;-;)
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LIKE ALBERT WTF ARE YOU DOING???
JOJO MY MAIN MAN WHY
RACER THAT SMILE CREEPY AS HELL STOP
DAVEY AND IKE, AS STATED ABOVE
MIKE WTF
ELMER LOOKING ABSOLUTELY DONE
"LET'S GET DRUNK" 😃 Y E A H "NOT WITH LIQUOR" 😧
Clap
Hop
TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY TAP MAKE ME STIM SO HARD ILY
FINCH AND HIS SUSPENDERS
EVERYONE GETTING OFFENDED AT GETTING ONE UPPED
TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP
KICK
SPIN
BUMP BUMP
BUTTONS'S BROOM
EVERYONE GETTING SPOONS
"A L R I G H T RED"
SMALLS
ILY
SPOON FIGHT
EVERYONE JOINING IN
"GOT EM"
CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCCCKCKCKCCH
TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP
*shoving Kath out of chair*
*cleans off ground with hat*
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THE WAY THEIR LITTLE ARM THING TICKLES MY BRAIN
Albert: Ehhhh Albert: Oh shit that's actually p good
THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD
"LOOK AT ME I'M THE KING OF NEW YORK"
"THIS IS GONNA MAKE BOTH THE DELANCEYS PEE IN THEIR PANTSIES"
ELMER'S FACE
FINCH'S LIL FACE BANDAGE
THE SHOT WHEN THEY SING "GUTS AND GLORY"
SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
TKTKTKTKTKTKTTKTTKTKTTKTKTKTKT
"OF NEW YORK!!!"
SEEING THEM ALL OUT OF BREATH AND GRINNING AND IK THEY HAD SO MUCH FUN
SMALLS
Point
Clapclap clap
ROMEO AND FINCH HAVING SO MUCH FUN
FUCK WAIT NOW IT'S LETTER FROM THE REFUGE
"Dear Jack..."
I paused it.
I don't wanna watch anymore ;-;
I wanna pretend they're all still happy and tappin' around Jacobi's
"Guess I wasn't much help yest'aday"
"Oh, yeah, Jack This is Crutchie by the way"
Andrew Keenan Bolger is just so fuckin good
"So far they ain't brung us no fooood..." lol
"Maybe though... heh heh... Not tonight..."
"We miiiight just go..."
Definitely NOT Ike sleeping next to him SHHHHHHHHHHHHH
"Damn this place."
"Your friend Your best friend Your brother Crutchiiiieeeee"
Albert Some other redheaded newsie: "Enough already!"
Everyone looking for Jack
MISS MEDDA I FUCKING LOVE YOU
Jack pretending to not be crying
"You're a gem"
"Does it matta?"
"If you're running away, nowhere is ever the right place"
"How about lettin' a pal know you're alive?!" Jack: Ffs 🙄
"Why don't I leave you with your boyfriend?"
"YaevathinkIdidntwannabefound"
"A B O V E THE FOLD"
Bap
Smack
They're so close just lean forward a lil and give him a lil smooch
Poke
:|
"JUST LIKE I SAID"
"We're inevitable"
"Fame is one intoxicating potion"
"Yes he did and then he died :)"
Kath's lil supportive nod
"Smart enough to get you committed to a padded room"
JACK'S ART
"Lighten up, no one died."
LES'S LIL WORRIED FACE WHEN JACK TELLS THEM ABOUT CRUTCHIE
"If I wanted a sermon I would show up for church."😠
"Tell me how quitting does Crutchie any good."
"Exactly."
"Here's how it goes-"
T E E T H
"Jackie think about it"
JACK HOW WERE YOU EXPECTING TO MAKE IT IN SANTA FE WITHOUT KNOWING WHY A SNAKE RATTLES
"poor GUYS head IS SPINNING"
"Whywouldhesendforthegoonsanentirearmydozensofgoonsplusthecopsand-"
Kath’s amazement at Jack admitting being wrong
ETHAN’S DUMB FACE 😭😭😭
“Stay on track”
“AND WEVE GOT JACK”
Spit shake
Davey being disgusted
“And I’ve got a date!!!”
Kath being nervous asf to confront her dad
“The newsies are striking against… me”
Kath trying to melt into her chair
I’m gonna kick Snyder
*WHACK* “WHAT GOOD WOULD QUIET DO ME”
Kath’s panic when Jack shows up
“Ask and ye shall be received”
S i t
“Good aftanoon bois”
“Aaand which Jack Kelly is this? The charismatic union organizer? Or the petty thief, and escaped convict?”
“Which one gives us more in common? Eh?” *wiggles finger*
“Crowwlin”
“Want i should save ya a spot on the bill?”
B o y
“When New York wakes up to-“ 😗🧐 “-front page photos of our rally”
“Even some reporters”
THE BIG REVEAL
JACKS FACE
KATHS FACE
“Yeeeeeessss”
Why does Pulitzer hit his desk so much? Take a Xan and calm down my guy
I’m gonna kick Snyder pt 2
THE DELANCEYS CATCHING AND HOLDING JACK SO HE CANT GET OUT DHSGWHMFKE
Morris looking 100% done with Pulitzers shit
“They know I don’t care” 🙂
“Tossed 🫴🏼➰ to the rats🐀 Will they ever be able to thank you enough?💅🏻”
BOTTOM LINE REPRISE
I like that he calls Jack ‘Cowboy’ in this song as a little homage to the original, but (bc I saw Livesies first) I was so confused when I watched it at first.
So ik they only use the newsies to move sets bc they can go fairly unnoticed by the audience when they’re going on and off stage. But just the idea that even if they aren’t actually there with him, them still do everything for Pulitzer is a statement to me
Morris hopp of stairrrrrrs
*bonk bonk bonk* “That there… is firm”
Jacks lil tantrum
“NEWSIES NEED OUR HELP TODAYYY”
HELLO SPOT LOML
TOMMY BRACCO 😍😍😍 (congrutalions on his engagement 😭😭)
THE LIL GAP IN HIS TEETH IS EVERYTHING TO ME
Reasons I love Brooklyn (from left to right:
Graves
Myron
Spot
Hotshot
Bart
Ty for coming to my Ted Talk
“We’ll getcha payback with some PAY BACK”
Speepy Jack
Spot’s dramatic ass taking his hat off
“BOROUGH WHAT GAVE ME BOITH”
Everyone else hurriedly taking off their hats
“FRIENDLIEST PLACE ON OITH”
“PAYUS A VISIT AND SEE WHAT WE MEANS”
“AND WHEN YA DOOOOOO”
“WE’LL KICK YA HALFWAY TO QUEENS”
Definitely totally Jack Kelly on that printing press and definitely NOT Devin Lewis
The entirety of the boroughs introducing themselves
PFFPTTHHH
“WE IS HEEEEEERRRREEEE”
Davey’s first spit shake without wiping it off 🥹
MISS
MEDDA
LARKIN
Bart’s lil hops 🥺🥺
THE CROWD CONTROL
Eyebrows
Jack Jack Jack Jack
Everyone smacking signs against the ground
“Youwannabetalkedtolikeanadultstartactinlikeone”
Racer’s smile 😭��😭
“That’s was a lousy thing to do” Everyone else: HELL YEAH IT WAS
Elmer’s Graves’ smile
Pulitzer
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S H O V E
“He’s a sellout”
JACK RAISING HIS HAND AT LES
“YOU'RE A TRAITOR JACK”
DAVEY'S DEVASTATION
“HESAIDYOUCOULDGOTHROUGHMYSTUFF?!”
Kath plz be more considerate
THE
FUCKING
PROJECTIONS
"A little different from where you were raised?" s n a t c h
"I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE ONE TO TALK ABOUT TURNIN' ON FOLKS"
"Ya ffffffffADDA"
"a ffffffist in ya mouth"
Finger wiggle
Paper wiggle
"good for you"
"The children's crusade..."
"Oh no"
"Ya just gonna take back lAta"
Gotta be honest, Something to Believe In makes me so irrationally angry. Their whole relationship feels forced and only there for the romance grab :)
I feel like they could've done a lot with Kath's character without making her fall for Jack
Like it makes sense that Jack would feel things for her. She represents this freedom he's never gotten to have. She helped get the newsies a better hand in life. Granted it isn't perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better. Not to mention all the newsies have the emotional range of a speck of dust.
Kath, on the other hand, seems very in tune with her emotions. She knows how she feels about Jack during Watch What Happens, and I personally don't think much changed between them between that and StBI.
I think it would've been far better to have Jack, this emotionally ignorant artist pining after Kath, the 'sure of herself' journalist helping make a better life for his family, despite the repercussions of going against her father, who was originally in it just to further her career but has grown to care for and love all of these kids.
Have I mentioned the projections?
I also haven't mentioned this at all, but I love the newsies that push in Jack's 'penthouse' and just sit at the bottom of the set pieces.
Bump
SHOVE
Also seeing Kath deck Jack right here (bc she doesn't know how to respond to him trying to kiss her) would be so much better than a kiss
Don't ask me why, just trust me
Their hug at the end of it though
IS IT NORMAL TO KNOW WHICH NEWSIE IS GOING UP THE STAIRS BY THEIR SILHOUETTE?
"We could hold a hoedown in here and no one would be the wiser"
"Hey!" "Hm?" "It's good to have you back again"🥰 "Shaddup."
BillDarcy
Y'ALL THEY TRADED VESTS AND THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE EITHER OF THESE BOYS ARE STRAIGHT???
Darcy's disgust
"B B Bill. So I suppose you're the son of William Randolph Hearst." "And proud to be a part of your revolution"😃
Nicholas Masson rolling his sleeves up-
Can we talk about how perfect a Javey first kiss would've been at "we ain't come this far to lose" without Kath being there
"HEEEEERRRREEE THEY COOOOMMMMEEE"
Tommy Bracco
Albert's lil nod
Smalls doing nothing but wiggling that bolt
look look
"BLEED EEEEM"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FREEDOM"
Spot doing nothing but standing and looking intimidating
WHACK
HENRY HELP SMALLS
Ty 🥰
ALL THE ANGLES THROWING PAPES
"TEN THOUSAND FISTS"
LAYERS
LAYERING VOCALS IS MY KRYPTONITE
A;SLDKFHAPSHGPAIUSFGP
BAM "THERE'S CHANGE COMIN ONCE AND FOR ALL"
THE FUCKING KEY CHANGE A;LSDGHPAOUSFGPANS I SCREAM. I CRY. I FOAM AT THE MOUTH. I LOVE THIS SHOW
Stomp
"WELL I'M SORRY-I AM-"
"Sorry"
"Such language"
"MORNIN GENTS"
hat
I didn't know you could throw money in an inherently queer-coded way but here we are
The way Jack sits in the chair and gets confy
"Oh, we're your loyal employees"
"Oooohhhh"
"WHAT'S THAT MAKE YOU"
Ben Fankhauser
The chorus starting up again and Jack just 👀
Spot taking off his hat again
wavey wavey wavey
Race 'cheers'ing with his cigar
"So what's your next move"
MISS
MEDDA
"Joseph Joseph Joseph"
Hummy hummy hummy
"Bully"
Shakes hand "My god"
"I'd do it with a SMILE"
"A soft head"
"He doesn't do happiness does he?"
HANNAH
HANNAH ILY
"I'm young. I ain't stupid"
"I GOT CONTITUENTS WITH A LEGITIMATE GRIPE"
Wiggle finger
"iT's a CoMprOMIse WE cAn All LiVE WiTH"
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Spit shake
"andtheWorldwillknow"
TOMMY
FINCH
RACE BUTTONS ALBERT ROMEO I LOVE ALL OF YOU
THEIR SIGNS
HUGS FOR EVERYONE
Why does every actor who plays Roosevelt look exactly the same????
"Ya miss me?!" YES😭
Davey swallowing his laugh when Crutchie calls Roosevelt 'your highness'
"Don't sweat it, gov"
"tarantulas?"
"And we're family" YEAH YOU ARE BABY
"show me that backseat I been hearing so much about"
Albert's gimme gimme gimme motion
"G U Y S"
Race's lil hop
"I been I been BUSY"
smacksmacksmack
"CARRYIN THE BANNER MAN TO MAN"
"HERE'S THE HEADLINE"
Jeremy Jordan counting his steps
"WHOO"
"OF NEW YORK"
*incoherent shouting* "NEWSIES OF NEW YOOOORK AYOOOOO"
Tommy being slightly off
Kick
Spin
Flip
Clap clap
CHAZ WOLCOTT IS SO FKING TALENTED
shrug
BART
slide
I DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT THE GUY WHO PLAYS DARCY DOING FLIPS WITH NICK MASSON (WHO PLAYS BILL)
Specs falling when they do the lil cartwheels
All their lil hops and bows
THE DELANCEYS HANDSHAKE
AKB
Kara Lindsay being a lil early
JJ almost eating it
HYPEHYPEHYPEHYPE- Race, Mike, Ike, and Spot
JJ boogeyin
Kara and Ethan boogeyin
Kara and Jordan hugging
Nick swinging from the set
Ben and Sky doing a handshake and Ben almost knocking Sky over going for a chest bump when Sky wanted a hug
I DID IT
I FINISHED IT WITH ENOUGH ROOM
I HONESTLY THOUGHT KONY WOULD MAKE ME NEED AT LEAST ONE MORE, BUT I THINK STBI COUNTERED IT
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foxy-not-pirate · 1 year
Note
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DISTRACT YOU SO THAT I CAN ATTACK YOU WHILE YOUR BACK IS TURNED.
A-Z FANDOM RELTAED QUESTIONS (YOU DON'T ALLOW LINKS): ALL OF THEM. IN OTHER WORDS: A, B, C, D, E , F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, AND Z!
Sweet baby Jesus what have I gotten myself into
Ok let’s go!
Otp: i have a special place in my heart for Lumity
a pairing I just can’t get behind: I actually don’t have one. I either really like a ship or I don’t like (at least in toh)
my very first fandom contribution was on here! I just saw people making posts that were half fic, half au and idea collaboration and just kinda. Joined in?
I have never made a crack fic
The longest I’ve ever been in a fandom might be toh, I remember reading fics right around the end of season one, but otherwise probably gravity falls
My first fandom was definitely gravity falls. I continue to love thinking about the shenanigans Pacifica and the twins could have gotten up to if they were friends earlier on when I’m bored. I prefer animated tv over live action
I don’t think tumblr has ruined any fandom for me, but I love the block button
I didn’t particularly care about any game fandoms until I saw them on tumblr, but I bought hollow knight today and I bought Stardew Valley a month or so ago and I’m having lots of fun
I feel pretty good about the people I choose to interact with in fandom, but like I said earlier, the block button is a good friend of mine
I actually did have someone I really like make a fic I wanted, but that was more a we put together an idea together and then he wrote a fic for it. (Hi, Teddy, if you’re reading this, I’m talking about you)
An irl friend of mine, @fizzywizzard, (their Christian parents found their tumblr, rest in peace) peer pressured me into watching the first anime I ever watched, so thanks dude
my favorite fandom to interact with is my single pjo mutual (hi again teddy) and their mutuals circle, whom occasionally enjoy my deranged bullshit
I know it says pick a song at random but I don’t care I think the song I do adore by Mindy Gledhill is pretty Solangelo
Invent a random au: hoo au that’s a typical uni au except that every character is a different type of nonhuman: Will is a med student vampire, Nico is a mortuary student ghost who’s been trying to pass one of the core classes for the last decade, Leo is your basic demon while Jason is your basic angel and they are studying engineering and architecture respectively, Percy is, obviously, a Mer studying marine preservation, Grover stays the same and is studying nature preservation with Percy, Piper is a Siren (which is different than a Mer) studying business, Annabeth is a harpy (she looks like an owl) and is studying architecture with Jason, Reyna is a witch studying politics, Frank is a shapeshifter studying psychology, and Hazel is a Fae studying archaeology. Hedge is a staff member who is fed up with their bullshit.
I’m going to stop here because I’ve been writing for about an hour but if you made it this far feel free to send me an ask from the list. A single letter though, or I’ll just delete it
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rogerina-yee-haw · 5 years
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Joe Mazzello - NSFW Alphabet
a/n: I'm dedicating it to @starfleet-wannabe💓 babes, you make my days better!!! ily!!!(also I promise you that those imagines abt Joe x Reader will see the light once...I promise you, Erin)
I can't insert the "Keep reading" link from the tumblr mobile app, cause I'm really dumb, so if you don't want to read it - just scroll down k thx
this was requested many times and I'm sorry, my dudes....this is really bad....
warnings: obviously smut lmao, typos (sorry I've read it too many times just to check on errors and I can't look at this text right now, and there are obviously still bunch of mistakes, sorry, fellas)
Joe if you ever see this I'm sorry I hope it never happens
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Joe is the softest human being ever (well, mostly). It doesn't matter whether the sex was romantic and tender or rough and passionate, the aftercare is always the same: he helps clean you up and then make you both tea, while you lie in bed, talking and just spending time with each other.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)
As it was considered on this website, Joe is an ass man. You can count the times his hands were off your bum; he always keeps his hand on your lower back, and then, if he's in the mood (and he's always in the mood) he starts caressing your butt through your clothes, grabbing and tapping it when he can. It's not like the ass is the only thing he admires - Joe loves all of you, every part of your body and soul. But your ass is just so squishy and soft, and he can't get enough of it.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
If the sex is unprotected, he cums on your ass. Period.
D = Dirty Secret
Joe doesn't have dirty secrets. If he wants to try something, he'll tell you about it; there isn't something you two can't discuss.
E = Experience (How experienced are they?)
Joe is very experienced. He knows exactly what to do to make you scream his name in the bedroom.
F = Favourite Position
Doggy (unbelievable, right?). He also loves reverse cowgirl for obvious reasons. But it doesn't mean that you don't change positions while having sex. He loves seeing you on top, riding both of you into orgasm; he enjoys missionary and every other sex position, simply because he gets to try them all with you.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)
Come on, it's Joe we're talking about here. Sex is sometimes filled with him telling you stupid jokes, and always it turns out to be just like he's having a stand up show, while you lie down naked under him. He may crack up some dad jokes during the most tense moments, like when you're on top of him, and you're gasping and moaning, "I'm cumming", he'd say breathlessly, "Hi, cumming, I'm Joe", and you'll just burst into crazy laugh, even though the joke is stupid and not funny.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He doesn't like to be completely bare down there, so he just keeps it trimmed.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)
Joe is very romantic (we been knew). He just loves you so much that, even if the sex rough, he still wants and needs you to feel loved and comfortable. The man is so in love with you that he can't stop kissing and touching you, whispering how much he adores you.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
It's a must, if he's away filming. You two like to get yourselves off while talking on the phone, breathing and moaning messily while telling each other the filthiest things. Joe is actually an expert in dirty talk.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Joe's got hella lots of kinks. He's most preferable ones are:
Daddy kink. Do you really think this man doesn't like to be called daddy? If you do, you're wrong. Seeing you twirling in ecstasy when "daddy" is the only thing you can weakly whimper makes him bust a nut right then and there.
Edging. He's an asshole sometimes, alright? Joe enjoys it when you desperately beg him to fuck you. He loves when you're being restrained all day, and you walk around frustrated and horny. Not to mention that the thought of fucking you hard later turns him on immediately. (You love all of it too, even though you don't admit it sometimes; you're also fond of the idea teasing Joe like this later).
Slight voyeurism, but he likes to watch himself fuck you. He's bought a huge mirror for the bedroom, so that you two could have sex in front of it. He loves to pound into you from behind, holding your hair, slapping your ass and saying the dirtiest shit, like, "Watch yourself being wrecked by my cock" or "Look how pretty you look, look at your pretty tits boucing like this cause I'm fucking you so hard"
Dirty talk (it's considered as a kink, right?). Come on, Joe is a master at this. He'd spill the filth at random places; like you two are doing grocery shopping and he comes to you holding a watermelon, leans in and whispers in your ear, "I wish I could bend you over this shopping cart and fuck you till you can't move". And you just stand there bewildered, while he continues his routine. Or when you're on some fancy event, he'd put his hand on your waist and say to you quietly, "You look so sexy like this with this red lipstick. Can't wait when these pretty lips are wrapped around my cock". And your eyes go wide as you choke on your drink, while everyone looks at you weirdly.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Um, anywhere? Joe's just turned on by you 24/7 (as well as you are by him), so he doesn't mind having sex with you in restrooms, closets, empty hallways, in his trailer, your childhood bedrooms... Once you were at the party and caught your friends having sex; no wonder that fifteen minutes later you and Joe were doing the same thing in the bathroom, of course, in front of the mirror. Sex in his car is a must too, especially when you're driving - he thinks you look really hot while doing so. One time you were almost caught doing it in the car by the police, and since then you can't stop giggling like two teenagers while remembering about it.
But Joe loves sex in your bedroom. He just feels like this is the most intimate place on the Earth, where you two can be sincere and sensitive.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Anything. He's got the crazy sex energy, and literally anything can make him go. Once, when you were brushing your teeth, and wearing one of his old tee-shirts and baggy pajama pants, he decided it was a good idea to start teasing you, by leaving wet, mouth-opened kisses on your neck and by fingering you slowly. You evidently couldn't brush you teeth normally at that moment.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Joe wouldn't do something that'll harm and hurt both of you.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He's a pro in giving. You'll be screaming and grabbing his hair tightly, even though he barely touched you. And as you love giving too, he wouldn't ever be against it.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
You can experience every pace during the time you have sex. He may start roughly, pounding into you harshly, and then go slower, stretching you gently and whispering sweet nothings against your skin.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Joe loves quickies. Once when he was on set and had to leave for shooting in five minutes, he pinned you against the wall of his trailer and fucked the soul outta you. "It's just a preview of what you're getting at night", he winked at you while leaving and you just gasped. This man is something, y'all.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
You both love taking risks. Joe enjoys having sex when the guests you invited to your party may come at any moment; he once decided to start fingering you while you were at dinner with your family. "Such a good girl, taking me so well", he whispered in your ear when you struggled not to moan loudly in front of your parents. "I'm gonna fuck you so good when we get into the car. I'm gonna reward you for being such a good girl and not cumming here".
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)
If he and you are feeling alright, 2 and more rounds. But if one of you is not okay, and the sex is just full of love and reassurance, there'd be just one round.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
You own toys. And Joe's using them on you. Especially when he's being a little shit - means when he's edging you.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Once you were having an unplanned and sloppy sex in the secluded bathroom at one after-party of the awards, and he pulled out right when you were about to cum. He initiated the sex and denied you both. That's how much of a "tease" he is.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He's loud when he's in the mood. He can moan loudly, and sometimes when you feel incredibly good he comes while screaming your name.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Joe's got a breeding kink. (It's not really surprising, though, this man radiates dad energy). He gets hard just thinking about you being pregnant with his child. Man wants to have a family with you, and that's why he can barely keep it in his pants when you're around (always).
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
His dick is a perfect size to make you scream. That's it.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Joe's sex drive is immeasurable. You have no idea how this man can always be horny and ready to fuck.
Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
He falls asleep as soon as you two cuddle; when you start breathing in unison, he nods off pretty quickly, still holding you tightly.
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naireides · 7 years
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do u think Raven (in the shower biz fic),once she saw Clarke stroll towards the shower w Bellamy in it, that she opened up the groupchat: Raven-it's happened!!- Raven-i'm @ bellamy n clarkes apt & theyre literally showering together!!!!!!!111!!!!!- Raven-who bet on 4 months- Jasper-IUFESJDKXNOUJFKXVCIHOFDLB- Jasper-FINALLY- Miller-yea that was me pay up *sunglasses emoji*-
this?? turned?? into?? a fic?? wow okay
wc: 2 458part 1 | read on ao3
Saturday, 8: 53 a.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home
Raven: i don’t mean to alarm anybody but i think bellamy and clarke are datingRaven: or at least having sex
Harper: [click to view image]
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Murphy: you can’t say that and then not expect us to be alarmed reyesMurphy: some of us have money riding on this shit
Monty: pics or it didn’t happen
Jasper: FWEJFCERGBUJJFJEFSJasper: [click to view image]
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Miller: Jasper if you don’t stop fucking screaming i’m coming over there and choking you
Jasper: ooh kinky ;) ;)
Monty: excuse you, i’m the only one allowed to flirt with miller here
Raven: yeah jasper, keep your kinks to yourselfRaven: this is me kinkshaming youRaven: ARE YOU KINKSHAMED
Jasper: jokes on you kinkshaming is my kink
Monty: how much kink could a kinkshame shame if a kinkshame could shame kink
Miller: i will murder all of you is2g
Raven: we already have one psychopath in this groupchat miller we don’t need another one
Murphy: fuck you reyes
Harper: she didn’t say it was you murphyHarper: … but we all know it’s you
Miller: could you fucks keep it down some of us are trying to sleepMiller: also i bet on them lasting four months living together pay up
Raven: um we don’t know how long they’ve been together
Miller: you’re just bitter that you lost
Monty: she has a point tho
Miller: wtf you’re supposed to be on MY SIDE
Monty: i’m on the side of justiceMonty: …… and also because i bet that they would have gotten together in september
Murphy: you put way too much trust in blake tbh
Jasper: what exactly happened raven? did you walk in on bellamy scrambling clarke’s eggs ;) ;)
Monty: dude no one even knows what that means
Harper: and no one wants to know either
Raven: clarke and i were supposed to go shopping todayRaven: and she oversleptRaven: so she let me in to wait while she got readyRaven: and then bellamy walks in from his run because he’s a gross fitness junkie
Murphy: you’re a gross fitness junkie too
Raven: quiet jonathanRaven: so here i am at bellamy and clarke’s apartment and she literally followed him into the showerRaven: !!!!!
Monty: OMG
Jasper: he could be scrambling her eggs in the shower
Murphy: i gotta give blake some credit, that didn’t take as long as i thought he would
Miller: you bet that they’d get together in june. 2023Miller: THAT’S IN SIX YEARS
Murphy: yeah because blake would rather make moon eyes across the couch at her than make a moveMurphy: he’s a pussy
Harper: hEY
Raven: WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH
Miller: SIX YEARS
Monty: STOP THE YELLING
Jasper: STOP THE MADNESS
Harper: so we don’t really know for sure how long they’ve been a thing
Raven: nopeRaven: but i’ll ask clarke about it laterRaven: miller, murphy, one of you ask bellamy
Murphy: no thanks
Miller: i rather not
Raven: … Raven: pussies.
Murphy: OH so she can say it but i can’t
Raven: shut up murphy
-
Saturday, 10: 04 a.m.Bellamy Blake
Miller: soMiller: how’s clarke doin?
Bellamy: ??Bellamy: uh fine?Bellamy: she’s out with raven rn
Miller: anything… special planned for later?
Bellamy: noBellamy: why
Miller: you knowMiller: it’s saturdayMiller: good date night
Bellamy: rightBellamy: shouldn’t you be telling monty this
Miller: you’re impossible
Bellamy: how am i impossible? You’re the one making no sense!
Miller: so you’re not doing anything tonight. or doing clarke tonight.Miller: … Miller: i meant doing anything *WITH clarke tonight fucking autocorrect
Bellamy: i mean we might watch a movie or something but i don’t think soBellamy: monty ditch you for his nerd friends tonight so you wanna cry on my shoulder huh
Miller: fuck you blake
-
Saturday, 10: 28 a.m.Bellamy Blake
Murphy: u fucking clarke yet
Bellamy: what the fuck NO
Murphy: bummerMurphy: u should get on that thoMurphy: or under thatMurphy: or behind that
Bellamy: i will BLOCK you
-
Saturday, 10: 47 a.m.Clarke Griffin
Clarke: raven is acting super weird
Bellamy: raven is always weird
Clarke: well yeahClarke: but weirder than normalClarke: you know what i mean
Bellamy: no yeah i get youBellamy: miller and murphy are weird too
Clarke: come on MURPHY is always weirdClarke: like i wouldn’t be surprised if he sells organs on the black market or something
Bellamy: he’s a chef princess
Clarke: EXACTLYClarke: that means he knows where to stab you
Bellamy: goodbye clarke
Clarke: yeah yeah go back to jacking off to npr sorry i disturbed you
Bellamy: fuck you griffin
Clarke: maybe later honey i’m not in the mood for phone sex
Bellamy: GOODBYE CLARKE
-
Saturday, 11: 38 a.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home
Raven: OH MY GODRaven: i hate themRaven: bellamy and clarke are IDIOTS
Monty: ??????????
Harper: what happened
Miller: i don’t think they’re dating
Murphy: i asked and he said they’re definitely not fucking
Jasper: BUT THEY SHOWERED TOGETHER RAVEN SAW IT HAPPEN
Raven: THEY DO SHOWER TOGETHER IT’S RIDICULOUS I HATE THEM
Monty: raven WHAT HAPPENED
Raven: so i asked clarke about the shower thing that i saw this morningRaven: and like. she doesn’t deny showering with bellamyRaven: actually it seems like they do it pretty fucking oftenRaven: but it’s all PLATONICRaven: P L A T O N I C   S H O W E R   S H A R I N G
Harper: i think raven’s brain just broke
Miller: who the fuck even does that
Monty: bellamy and clarke apparently
Murphy: lmao i told you blake has no gameMurphy: he’s naked in a 6x4 bathroom with the girl he has a crush on- who is ALSO NAKED- and he doesn’t do anything about itMurphy: i’m still amazed that he used to have threesomes in college
Jasper: bellamy used to have threesomes in college???Jasper: our bellamy??Jasper: HE ALMOST CRASHED INTO A STOP SIGN BECAUSE CLARKE SMILED AT HIM THAT ONE TIME
Harper: jesus fucking christ they’re disasters
Raven: jasper, come over at my place later they only way i can deal with this is with weed
Jasper: ayyyyy i like how you thinkin
-
Saturday, 10: 52 p.m.Bellamy Blake
Clarke: i still maintain that showering together can be totally platonic
Bellamy: what we just did certainly was not platonic
Clarke: yeah but we didn’t actually fuck in the showerClarke: so it’s still platonicClarke: i’m not fucking you in the shower btw
Bellamy: is this out of sheer spite to keep it platonic
Clarke: no it’s because i work in a hospital and i’ve seen more than my fair share of broken dicks because of shower sex
Bellamy: you work in a CLINIC
Clarke: still seen broken dicks thoClarke: i don’t want you to break your dickClarke: i like your dickClarke: and the rest of youClarke: you’re great bell
Bellamy: that was weirdly sweetBellamy: i like you tooBellamy: it’s kind of why we’re in a relationship
Clarke: we’ve only been in this relationship for like 4 hoursClarke: and you didn’t even ASK me to be your girlfriendClarke: you just fucked me like i was some two bit hussy
Bellamy: princess will you go out with me
Clarke: good boy you learn quick
Bellamy: that’s not an answer it’s a yes or no question clarke
Clarke: yes
Bellamy: good. now put down your phone and go to sleep
Clarke: orrrrr we could have phone sex ;) ;)
Bellamy: clarke you are literally right down the hall from me
Clarke: heyClarke: hey bellClarke: i’m not wearing any panties
Bellamy: jesusBellamy: you do realise i asked you to stay in my bed with me and you said no right?
Clarke: yeah because my bed is comfortableClarke: altho i bet it would be more comfortable with you in it ;) ;) ;)
Bellamy: you are a frat boy in the body of a 27 year old woman
Clarke: you’re one to talk i just heard your door open
Bellamy: … semantics
Clarke: i lured you into my bed with my feminine wiles didn’t i?Clarke: i really am a two bit hussy
Bellamy: yeah yeah i’m coming
Clarke: you’re not the only one who’s gonna be coming ;) ;)
-
Monday, 9: 14 a.m.Princess
Clarke: sorry to text you at work but do you think we could keep this quiet for a little while?Clarke: i forgot to ask yesterday because SOMEONE spent the whole day eating me out
Bellamy: it wasn’t the whole dayBellamy: more like 4 hoursBellamy: and yeah, of course princess
Clarke: good, thanks bell Clarke: i just can’t handle seeing her smug little face
Bellamy: yeah i get itBellamy: same with me and miller. and murphy too tbh
Clarke: so it’s a secret?
Bellamy: i guess so
Clarke: coolClarke: that’s kinda hotClarke: *moon face emoji*
Bellamy: I’M AT SCHOOL CLARKE I’M NOT GONNA SEXT YOU AT SCHOOL
Clarke: fine be boring
Bellamy: i’ll make it up to you later ;)
-
Friday, 6: 13 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home
Miller: god i can’t believe they’re still not togetherMiller: i went to pick up blake for a boys night and caught them taking ANOTHER shower togetherMiller: SCHOOL’S CLOSED FOR WINTER BREAK WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS
Jasper: we really should stage an interventionJasper: monty is good at powerpoint presentations
Monty: i am good at powerpoint presentations yes
Raven: ‘10 reasons why platonic shower sharing ISN’T A THING’
Harper: nah i think that’s too long for a title
Murphy: ‘Get Married Already’
Monty: concise, but a little too on the nose
Miller: ugh he’s changed his contact name for her to ‘princess’ with a heart emoji i’m gonna throw up
Harper: ‘oh bellamy? he’s just a friend. such a good friend.’
Jasper: cLaRkE aNd I aRe pLaToNiCJasper: [click to view image]
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Raven: i really really hate them
-
Friday, 6: 14 p.m.Bell
Bellamy: come on this isn’t fair princessBellamy: i just left the house
Clarke: and??
Bellamy: give a guy some warningBellamy: miller almost saw that picture you sent meBellamy: no nudes out of the blue like that
Clarke: you really are an 80 year old man aren’t you
Bellamy: you weren’t saying that last night
Clarke: touche
-
Tuesday, 7: 19 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home
Harper: should i go all out with the mistletoeHarper: maybe we could trap them underneath it
Raven: lbr, bellamy and clarke would call it ‘platonic kissing’
Harper: oh shit u rite
Monty: ‘only real friends shove their tongues into each other’s mouths’
Miller: i say go for it if it can work in the rom coms then it can work hereMiller: these two are probably almost as ridiculous as a rom comMiller: maybe even more
Jasper: you watch rom coms miller?
Miller: … new phone who dis
-
Wednesday, 4: 32 p.m.Bellamy Blake
Raven: tell your wife that she’s on cookie decorating duty for christmas dinnerRaven: we meet at harper’s on sunday to begin
Bellamy: cute reyesBellamy: and you know that CLARKE has her own phone right
Raven: yeah, but i’m willing to bet real money that she’s sitting right next to you
Bellamy: no comment
Raven: yeah that’s what i thoughtRaven: i guess because you two are joined at the hip that means you have to shower together huh
Bellamy: for the love of god IT SAVES TIME
Raven: YOU 2 ARE WEIRDOS
-
Sunday, 9: 12 p.m.Clarke Griffin
Raven: hey i think you left your scarf in my carRaven: i’m only like a block away i’ll come back and drop it offRaven: it has frosting on it i’m not keeping this shitRaven: be there in like 10
-
Sunday, 9: 21 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home
Raven: OH YM GODRaven: YOU G UYSRaven: FCUK YOU;LL NEVR GUESS WAHT HAPPEND
Murphy: you turned off auto correct?
Raven: i’m going to ignore thatRaven: because CLARKE AND BELLAMY ARE FUCKINGRaven: FOR REAL THIS TIMERaven: IN THE FCKIGN SHOWER AGAIN
Jasper: what
Monty: are you sure??
Harper: how do you know
Miller: jfc
Jasper: WHAT
Raven: i dropped clarke home a little while ago and made it like a block before i realised that she left her scarf in my carRaven: so i went back to the apartment and it was empty BUT I COULD HEAR THEMRaven: MY POOR EARS
Murphy: didn’t you fuck blake a few years ago
Raven: yeah but that was before we were FRIENDSRaven: I DON’T NEED TO HEAR CLARKE BEGGING FOR BELLAMY TO GIVE IT TO HER HARDER
Jasper: IS THIS THE REAL LIFE
Monty: OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY
Raven: or trust me, it’s real and i’m SCARRED FOR LIFE
Harper: you mean they hid their relationship from us??
Miller: either that or they both have a huge shower kink
Harper: why would they hide their relationship from us??
Raven: idk BUT I’M GONNA YELL AT THEMRaven: … right after i figure out how to unhear things
-
Sunday, 9: 33 p.mRaven Reyes created a new groupchat: BETRAYAL
Raven added Bellamy Blake to the chat
Raven added Clarke Griffin to the chat
Raven: DECEPTIONRaven: DISGRACERaven: AN OUTRAGE! FOR SHAME!
Clarke: surprise?
Raven: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HID THIS FROM USRaven: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS
Bellamy: i mean, i don’t really like you that much
Raven: shove it blake
Clarke: we just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while
Raven: and how long is a little while hmm
Bellamy: roughly 2 months give or take
Raven: i can’t believe itRaven: TWO MONTHSRaven: you 2 ruined christmas i hope you’re happyRaven: you are UNINVITED from tomorrow’s festivities
Raven Reyes has left the chat
Bellamy: godBellamy: are all of our friends this ridiculous?
Clarke: i’m 90% sure they had bets about usClarke: so yes
Bellamy: whatever who needs friends on christmasBellamy: we have cold turkey in the fridge and some potatoes we’re good to go
Clarke: and me of course
Bellamy: you?Bellamy: oh lemme guess, for dessert
Clarke: actually no i meant you have me, your girlfriend, so you don’t need anyone elseClarke: but i like yours betterClarke: *moon face emoji*
Bellamy: of course you do
Clarke: you love it
Bellamy: i love YOU
Clarke: Clarke: i love you too bell
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