Oh, is that who I am now? Well, it was never that far from the surface, mate.

there's such a massive history with doctor who and it hit me lately that the sensation of seeing that the companions and doctors you watched in real-time have become the past is a sensation every fan has felt for 60 years. at some point people missed jon pertwee and could remember watching him recently, even though tom baker was on tv as the doctor now and they liked him too. and nowadays we miss rose tyler and martha jones and amy pond and clara oswald and donna noble and tennant and smith and capaldi like those people missed baker when davison took the stage. like people missed ace and wondered if the show would ever come back, and then got excited and still felt it wasn't quite the same when eccleston was announced. like. it feels so recent, like just yesterday rose saw the tardis for the first time, but that was twenty years ago. feels like the doctor just made the speech in 'the rings of akhaten' and that was a decade ago. clara is gone, amy is gone. peter capaldi went from gray to white. and the show is going on and children will think of ncuti gatwa and millie gibson and huge white tardis corridors when they think of doctor who in the future. to them, david tennant is already what tom baker is to us. this story has a huge legacy. when you're watching doctor who, it ironically begins to feel like you're making history just by watching it.

The funny thing about Clara is that on The Doctor and Clara's adventures she's depicted as the more socially aware one who can be the "carer" in the face of Twelve's rudeness and alien nature. Than when you see her with Danny you find out her social skills are actually abysmal and The Doctor has such poor social skills they make her social skills look good by comparison

the doctor dances!

first date idea: hey girl wanna go see an exploding celestial body (trauma optional)

Me, on a new date: Hey, have you ever thought about the fact that there are plenty of planets where "the Doctor" doesn't refer to the Time Lord carrying around the sonic screwdriver, but rather to the young women who swing through their lives and ask their names and demand answers and sacrifice themselves, to the young men who start off unsure and second-fiddle but bring a kindness, a loyalty, with them and end up finding their own voices and their own purpose? Do you ever think about the role that myth plays in Doctor Who, how so many companion exits and finales take on the role of storytelling, about how companions become gods and immortals and walk the entire dystopian earth and wait two thousand years and be the cause of every Cyberman's single tear and wrench the Doctor back into the universe and carry the story off of screen with them, that they birth myths in their wake, that Doctor Who finales so often leave science-fiction behind them and become mythology itself, when these humans insert themselves into the mythology of the Doctor only to usurp him, that they make themselves the Bad Wolf and Orpheus and the Woman Who Walked the Earth and the Doctor Donna and the Last Centurion and the Girl Who Saw the Stars and most of all, they become the Doctor themself, that the Doctor's story goes nowhere if Rose doesn't save him on Satellite Five or Amy doesn't pull him back into existence or Martha doesn't walk the entire hell-earth to restore him or Clara doesn't make him forget her or Jack doesn't sacrifice himself to stop the Daleks or Bill doesn't carry him away from the Cybermen or Donna doesn't stop him from drowning himself with the Racnoss or Yaz doesn't pilot the TARDIS or River Song sacrifices herself at the library or Sarah Jane and Mickey don't help restore the earth back to its place in the sky and that the Doctor is only a myth with so many stories to their name because their companions make it so-

My date, sliding the breadsticks out of their purse back onto the table, hopelessly intrigued: Go on...

What Would Have Happened If The Other Doctors Stepped on the "Boom" Land Mine

One: The land mine is diffused by the power of parental love much sooner. Splice and Mundy join the TARDIS team after he decides that Splice will be his next fill-in granddaughter.

Two: Plays the recorder instead of singing. Jamie attacks the ambulance with his knife as soon as it attaches the lines to the Doctor, and it's only Zoe that stops him from getting killed. The detonation happens much sooner because the Doctor gets antsy and plays with the fiddly bits.

Three: Expertly controls his blood pressure to stop a premature detonation. Tries to keep his companion far away, but they discover the land mine anyway. Takes the land mine with him after it is diffused to use for spare parts in the UNIT lab.

Four: "Harry, I'm standing on a land mine." Doesn't bother with a counterbalance and just stands on one foot for the whole episode. Snacks on some jelly babies while waiting for the right moment.

Five: Has an in depth conversation with Nyssa about how he is regulating his biology on a molecular level. They use a cricket ball from the TARDIS as a counterbalance, meaning that he never gets shot or targeted by the ambulance. One of his companions still ends up getting shot, at which point he falls over, immediately self destructs, and blows a giant hole in the planet.

Six: Gets far too irritated for his blood pressure to stay low. Could really do with some of Evelyn's cocoa right about now. The land mine blows up because he cannot calm down enough to disguise his presence.

Seven: A much longer conversation on how the Doctor is a complex space-time event. The countdown finishes, but the land mine doesn't blow because he had disarmed it at the beginning of the episode. The entire time, he was just pretending the land mine was live in order to teach his teenage companion a life lesson.

Eight: Forgets he's standing on a land mine and blows up. Gets into a passionate conversation with his companion about the war industry complex. Soliloquizes about life and death. Almost sacrifices himself in an inferno of self-loathing, but his companion saves the day.

War: His associates go back in time and extract him before he steps on the land mine. This new version of him continues fighting the Daleks while the time echo standing on the land mine is used to blow a hole in the nearby Dalek command ship.

Nine: Has flashbacks to the War while standing on the land mine but somehow manages to stabilize his blood pressure thanks to the presence of Rose and Jack. Jack manages to diffuse the bomb while he is on it thanks to his experience with Villengard tech.

Ten: "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Tries to convince his companion to evacuate as much of the population into the TARDIS as possible because they would be safe there. Almost lets himself blow up, but his companion forces him to find a way to survive.

Eleven: The mine blows up in about ten seconds because he can't stand still. The entire planet is blown to smithereens, but his friends are okay because he locked them in the TARDIS.

Twelve: Gets into mind games with Clara while she is trying to figure out what he is standing on. Clara tries to take his place, but he doesn't let her. Missy eventually shows up and disarms the land mine because she wants to be the one to kill him.

Thirteen: Only manages to stay still because the Fam calms her down. Is oddly stoic about the entire thing and disappears into the depths of the TARDIS for several days after it happens. She never brings it up again even though Yaz tries to get her to talk about it.

Fourteen: God damn it this guy is supposed to be retired. He's supposed to be having a break. He talks about how much he loves his companion and how so, so sorry he is that he can't fix this.

Fugitive: This is a normal Tuesday for her. Probably has some sort of anti-land mine device in one of her coat pockets.

Things Never To Say To Someone Who Just Came Out

Bonus

"Omg, this companion hasn’t been on the show in years, move on."

Like the whole show isn’t about a sad little idiot who doesn’t know how to move on.

+

a very major part of being in the doctor who fandom is watching critics say that “doctor who has become too political” or “doctor who has become woke” as if it wasn’t political the last ten times they said that

I've gotta say, this is the biggest nightmare of my life, but... I look quite good. I can't argue.

here's my wildly belated contribution to the 60th anniversary

happy 60th birthday doctor who!!

By so many, and so much! And by no one more than me.

Doctor Who Cold War | 7.08