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#Can Childhood Trauma Cause Infidelity
patnaneuro · 10 months
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http://canchildhoodtraumamakeyoutoxic.splashthat.com
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cillianmesoftlyyy · 5 months
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I Can Fix That... Pt. 3 | Jonathan Crane x fem!reader
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notes: And the plot and smut continues hehe. In this installment I used Lady Arkham as inspiration. She is originally a DC character/villian. The backstories that I included here are all based on the original DC comicbook/nolanverse lore. I literally used Batman wiki for additional research.
Summary| Crane brought a woman home. That was definitely not something he ever anticipated that he would ever do. He needs to trust her and she's starting to have second thoughts. Was leaving Gotham the right thing for her to do? Yes, she likes Crane but does she like him enough? What is he hiding from her? Oh honey, he was hiding a lot...
Warnings| Fire, mentions of a gun, drugs, smut- fingering, teasing, masturbation, dubious consent, the word "r*pe" is used once, unprotected sex, oral (m receiving). Violence, death, insanity, overdose (no death), infidelity, murder, police violence, trauma, abandonment, general unpleasantness.
word count: 8086k
Lonely Day- System of a Down 🎵
Love Song- Jack Off Jill 🎶
Superstar- Sonic Youth 🎵
Please please please read warnings for this one- we're going over childhood trauma
The helicopter landed in an open field in the outskirts of the city. She and Crane climbed out and ducked beneath the blades as they crossed the pasture. 
“We’re outside the city now. We’re safe here and depending on how Ra’s plan goes, we can stay here.” Crane looked down at the girl beside him. She watched the helicopter, distractedly, as it rose into the air and flew away. The field around them immediately quieted without the presence of the aircraft and they could hear the other breathe for the first time in a while. 
“Where do we go now?” She looked around them at the expanse of pasture and wild flowers hidden in the dark. 
“Over this hill.” Crane started walking and she followed, staying a few paces behind him. When they reached the top of the hill, she saw an old scarecrow standing in a field, empty of crops. The man was made of burlap and covered with rags. Straw exploded out of the scarecrow’s body. She looked at Crane who’d stopped to look at the scarecrow. Sensing her beside him, he glanced back at her and clenched his jaw. He gave no explanation or story and she didn’t want to ask because she didn’t want to cause him more pain. They walked a little farther and as they did, a large house came into view. Crane pointed it out to her with a sneer, directed at the house, not at her, “and there’s my father’s house.” 
The lights inside the mansion were on and it leaked light across the landscape that separated them. 
“Is your father home?” She asked and he chuckled darkly. 
“No, I had the housekeeper open the house for us. Just like with the helicopter, I find it is always useful to play your cards carefully. I was suspicious of Ra’s because I’m suspicious of everyone, even you,” he nodded down at her and she frowned slightly. “I don’t make friends easily, they often disappoint me.” He smiled at his own self-effacing humor. 
“Have I disappointed you?” She asked him. He turned his icy blue eyes to her and shook his head.
“No but we aren’t friends,” he laughed lightly and looked back at the house in the distance. 
“No? Then what are we?” She pouted a little, looking down at her feet and then to his face. 
“We’re more,” he answered evenly and began to walk again. She blushed and hurried to follow him, hiding her smile. Crane even smiled, blocking out the bad memories of the place they now found themselves in. He was no longer scared of the scarecrow but the memories he associated with the figure in the field did little to comfort him. They walked on until they reached the front gate and Crane typed in a passcode on an elaborate screen. The gates were black iron with sharp spikes fixed to the top and they opened with a long and droning squeak. The driveway changed to gravel as Crane led her up to the front door and he pulled on the lion’s head door knocker, releasing a loud door chime inside the house. One wing of the house, she noticed, was burned. 
“You’re right, I’m starting to realize that I really know nothing about you.” She looked up at the large gothic mansion above her.
“That,” Crane turned his head to her and sighed as if it were obvious, “is what a second date is for.” 
The front door opened and a man in a tuxedo greeted them coldly, reminding her of Crane. 
“Welcome back, doctor.” The butler deadpanned and Crane pushed past, wiping his feet in the entryway. She followed suit and nodded to the butler, smiling excitedly. 
“This is Miss —; Miss Y/N Y/L/N.” Crane gestured his hand carelessly between them and continued on into the reception hall. All the walls were carved from solid wood into even square panels. 
“Welcome to the Crane House, ma’am.” The butler bowed his head briefly and followed them. She nodded her head in thanks and became immediately enraptured by the spooky house. “Shall we serve dinner now or would you like to change?” 
Crane turned and cleared his throat, his eyes trying to focus on the room without his glasses. “We’ll change first, Hobbs.” 
“There are clothes laid out in the bedrooms.” The butler bowed and disappeared behind a swinging door. She turned to Crane and laughed. 
“What the hell is this place?” She asked in a bewildered whisper. Crane chuckled, finding the girl adorable in her amazement. 
“This is my childhood home.” 
“So this is where the famous Dr. Crane was raised. I’m intrigued.” She batted her eyelashes and ran up some of the stairs, her fingers trailing the thick banisters. Crane smiled and followed her. 
“Do you like seeing this side of me? Does it thrill you?” His voice prodded her heart and her legs became wobbly. 
“Everything about you does that,” she stood one step above him and cupped his face. She ran her finger down his angular cheekbone and swiped across his wide chapped lips. She kissed his neck and beneath his jaw before finally kissing his lips. 
“For now,” he whispered as she pulled away. They climbed the rest of the stairs up to the second floor and Crane led her down a tight hallway. Animal heads were mounted on the walls and she studied them with a mixed sense of appreciation. Crane pushed open a door with a crystal doorknob. 
“This is your room,” he swept his hand through the room and she gasped in awe. The one room was nearly the size of her entire apartment in Gotham. The walls were painted with elaborate murals. She stepped hesitantly into the room and twirled, wanting to see every inch of the place. Crane looked on from the door, his lips spread into a smile. 
“I’m glad you like it,” he laughed and she ran into his arms, smiling. 
“I love it! I am officially living out one of my dreams.” She pulled down on his collar and kissed him. She pushed her tongue into his mouth and kissed him deeper, her fingers now brushing across the soft skin on his neck. Crane sighed through his nose and found her waist, resting his hands on the indents of her hips. The excitement of the day prompted a sense of adventure and need inside her and she communicated that through her kiss. She bit playfully on Crane’s bottom lip and moaned (intentionally) against him to fluster him. She felt his body shutter from the suggestive sounds she made against him. Her cunt throbbed wantingly and she could feel her heartbeat in her upper thighs. 
“Mhm!” She hummed and caught her breath as Crane’s hands slipped to the base of her back. 
“You never get tired, do you?” He muttered against her huskily and she shook her head. 
“No, Dr. Crane.” She whispered with a soft whine and licked his bottom lip before kissing him harder. She felt his cock twitch on his pants as he pressed himself against her. 
“Good, because neither do I,” he bit the point of her jaw gently and kissed over the hickies he had already made on her neck the night before. He looked all rumpled and hot in his suit after the action of the day and she desperately wanted to undress him. She wanted to fuck him like a normal couple, not tied down to a mortuary slab where she couldn’t even touch him. God, she wanted to touch him. She dragged one hand down to his crotch and cupped his cock through his pants. She rubbed her hand against the half-hard bulge and moaned pitifully as if she were the one getting touched. 
“You’re pathetic,” Crane smirked and pulled her head back gently by her hair. She nodded with a pleased smile, happy that he saw her for what she really was and what she really wanted. He kissed her hard, taking her breath away, and sucked on her tongue so deep she felt like she might choke. When he pulled away and dropped his hold on her neck, his lips were pink and his eyes heavy with lust. She knew her face was flushed and that it turned him on but instead of acting on it, Crane leaned back against the door jam and jerked his head at the bed. 
“Hobbs laid out some clothes for you. I hope they fit, I went through your closet to find your size but I trusted Hobbs and his wife with the shopping.” He smirked, proud of himself for leaving the girl so horny, it made him even harder. He left the room and closed the door, his erection still pressing against his pants. 
ii 
She went down the stairs and looked around for the dining room, turning her curious head left and right. The clothes that had been laid out for her were simple and elegant. A long black dress with a boat neck that she wore with the burgundy stockings set beside it. She’d worn her black mary janes and run a brush through her hair, knowing that would be enough to help her look put together. She followed the sound of a crackling fire and polite conversation through a far door. Crane looked up as she entered and looked her up and down, his eyes sticky against her curves. 
“What do you think?” She gestured to her dress and gave a slow twirl. The butler and his wife stood to the side, watching her with small, pleased smiles. Crane leaned forward, resting his elbows on the white tablecloth. 
“Apparently, my housekeepers have extraordinary taste.” He smirked and stood as she walked to her place at the table on his right. 
“High praise,” she smiled at Hobbs. As they sat together, Hobbs served their dinner of smoked ham. She took a long sip of the gin martini from her glass and swirled the stem with her wrist.
“It’s hard to believe that we were in Gotham just an hour or two ago.” She took in his body dressed in a black suit without his usual tie. His face was clean and he’d refreshed his hair with some gel, the smell was comforting. 
“Tonight could have ended very differently…” he looked at his food. The butler and his wife left the room, going back into the kitchen.
“Thank you for what you said this morning,” she flicked her eyes up to his. He looked back and caught his breath. She looked stunning and he felt the need to pinch himself to remember where they were and how they’d gotten there in the first place. He remembered telling her to do as he said because he wanted her to live and he worried that Ra’s would go back on his word, and as he suspected, Ra’s had, just not with her. 
“I’m just glad that we came to our agreement when we did, before Ra’s. I’ll admit that my desire to keep you alive was more selfish than chivalrous because I needed you for my own reasons.” 
“Like what?” She raised her eyebrow and cut a piece of meat. It melted on her tongue and she swallowed it slowly, watching him. 
“I have plans for Gotham, plans that would involve you,” he cocked his head towards her, adding, “of course. I don’t know yet how Ra’s plans will play out but I suspect that he will fail. Batman will think that he’s saved the city from ‘bad guys’ but,” he leaned in closer, “I’m not so easily defeated and I suspect that we’ll run into each other again.”
“Are you sure that you can trust me with these plans of yours,” she opened herself up to him and stood, looming over Crane in his seat,” these plans that also include me?” She rested her knee on the edge of his seat between his legs, straddling his thigh. Crane looked up at her calmly, unmoved by the position of her knee against his crotch or the heat of her cunt hovering above his thigh. Crane watched her for a moment, letting a heavy silence fall between them before inhaling and shifting his torso closer as if he were going to whisper something to her. 
“Like I told Ra’s,” he started quietly, his eyes dark and harsh at the candlelight table. His hand squeezed the bottom of her thigh above her knee, she gasped quietly, “I’ll make sure that I can trust you…” his hand snaked up the inside of her thigh beneath her dress. He pulled the edge of her stocking away from her thigh and let it snap painfully back against her skin. “Won’t I?” He asked darkly as his forehead creased slightly. She gasped again as his hand found her underwear and stroked her clothed cunt. “Won’t. I?” He sneered and she remembered to nod. “Answer me,” he snapped and brushed his fingers past the crotch of her underwear, spreading the wetness between her legs with the pads of his fingertips. 
“Yes,” she hissed breathlessly, closing her eyes as he rubbed her cunt, creating a dangerous friction. 
“You’re pissing me off, detective.” He growled and roughly began to finger her, shoving two fingers harshly inside. She yelped and looked down at Crane, his eyes flashed. 
“Why, Dr. Crane?” She wrapped her fingers around the base of his neck, her thumb sitting right below his adam's apple. She smiled when his other hand gripped her thigh harder. She moved her hips on his fingers and he watched with interest as she dripped around his fingers. “How can I fix it for you?” She purred against his cheek, moaning softly as he fingered her and teased her clit with his thumb. She began to pant and instinctively moved her thighs together as the pleasure became too much. She squeezed around his fingers and her hands tightened around his throat, about to cum.  
“Behave,” he whispered seriously and removed his fingers before she could finish. She groaned in frustration and held his face between her hands. 
“You’re such a tease, Jonathan.” She scolded him and he smiled. 
“And you’re a horny little slut.” He whispered close to her lips and she shook her head, smiling giddily. 
“I’m just a horny little slut for you.” She ran her tongue across his lips, dragging it up to his nose. She let go of his face and plopped back into her chair, crossing her legs pointedly. Crane rolled his eyes and raised his fingers to his mouth. He sucked her juices from his hand as she watched and then finished his drink, ignoring her when she whined with lust. 
“You’re like a dog,” he rested his elbow on the table, “you think you’ll get what you want if you whine enough.” He delivered the sentence with a knowing look and returned to his food. She didn’t want to admit to herself how much that turned her on. She huffed and tucked her hair behind her ear and finished her martini hungrily. She finally had a moment to glance around the room and when she did, she saw a beautiful fire burning in a stone fireplace. 
“That’s beautiful,” she gestured to the fireplace carved with cherubs. Crane looked and nodded. 
“I think so too. We haven’t had fires in the fireplace since I was a child. You may have noticed that part of the house was destroyed.” 
She nodded.
“That’s because the house almost burned down when I was…” he frowned as he thought, “five or six?” He shrugged and sighed, looking into the blazing fire. “My father never let us use the fireplaces after that. It made for cold winters,” He flicked his eyes up to hers and she shivered. 
“I can imagine,” she thought back to her childhood in the orphanage, freezing at night during any season that wasn’t summer.
“The house will be a lot warmer now,” he said casually and allowed a small smirk to tug at his lips. 
“What happened to ‘behaving ourselves’?” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow in fake disapproval. Crane chuckled and leaned back in his chair. 
“I have no idea what you mean,” he lied and they went back to eating when Hobbs entered with dessert. 
iii 
It was nearly 2am when they finally climbed the grand staircase to return to their rooms. There was a large common room that separated the two wings of the house on the second floor. The wing to their right was burned and stood empty. 
“Where’s your room?” She furrowed her brow as they walked down the hallway, passing the laundry chute. Crane pointed to a room at the mouth of the hallway, near the top of the stairs. Her’s was at the opposite end of the hallway. She smiled and spun around, facing her side of the hallway. She let him watch her walk away, moving her hips as loosely as she could manage. When she opened her door, she turned slightly and gave him a closed-mouth smile, her eyes teasing him. He crossed his arms and leaned against his door, his expression unreadable. She closed her door and did a few extra happy-spins for good measure. She kicked off her shoes and explored the bathroom, finding herself in a mood for a bath after not showering the night before. She turned on the bath’s faucet and filled the large tub with hot water. As she undressed, she spotted a row of cosmetics set out for her use, and included in the assortment was the shampoo that she used at home. A small part of her found it scary that Crane had obviously gone through her home to find the things she liked but more than that, she felt honored that he had planned his backup plan with her in mind. He’d asked the housekeepers to prepare her a room and stock it with clothes and shampoo, all just in case she came with him. He’d imagined her coming with him, and that nearly made her cry. She slipped into the hot water and scrubbed every inch of her body, trying to remove all of the sweat, dirt, and debris that had stuck to her skin over the past 24 hours. She washed her hair with the mint shampoo as Crane had guessed she used correctly before. The suds ran down her hair and between her shoulder blades as her hands worked the shampoo into her head. She ducked her head beneath the water and watched as her hair floated out around her head. When she came up for air, her hair stuck to her back and she sighed pleasantly. 
The bathroom was cold when she left the security of the hot water so she quickly wrapped herself in a thick towel and brushed her hair. She rubbed lotion into her dry skin and toweled off her hair. The housekeepers had given her numerous sets of pajamas in different styles. She guessed Crane had decided against going through her underwear drawer, what a gentleman. She liked soft lounge pants and t-shirts so she changed into the dark blue set they had provided for her and unmade her bed. The wide windows on the side wall looked out on the field and she could just barely see the outline of the scarecrow. The house itself had a strange and suffocating feel. She wondered what Crane may have endured here, what secrets he hid inside himself. 
She bit the inside of her cheek and found the gun that she’d brought with her from Gotham. She hid the gun behind the headboard of her bed and sat with her knees pressed up to her chest on the mattress. She wrapped her arms around her legs and shivered, goosebumps rose on her legs and she rocked back and forth, resting her head on her knee like a child. Should she feel guilty for betraying her precinct? Should she worry about Sgt. Gordon and Gotham itself? What had Gotham given her? How had it protected her? She felt torn between a route of righteousness and one of passion. Crane offered her a path to her own future set outside the laws of society where she could create her own identity. She didn’t want to be the good girl cop anymore, she wanted to be everything else and she wanted Crane. 
Crane was testing her. He wanted to see how badly she actually wanted him, how much she would fight to be with him. He needed her to be obsessed, foaming at the mouth at the thought of him. Maybe he was psychotic, sure (he was). His father certainly was and it usually runs in families. Crane’s manic obsession was her and he needed her, but before he could trust her, he had to be sure that she was totally and completely loyal to him. He knew she had her gun and he assumed she’d suffered more internal dialogue since escaping Gotham (he was a psychiatrist, so of course he knew these things). If he pushed her away would she cling to him more or feel the need to betray him? He had to admit that this test was grueling for him too. He didn’t think that he was capable of love or real attraction, he was a psychopath, literally. He’d studied himself as much as he had the subjects in his textbooks in school and he checked all the boxes but this- this- was a new development that he didn’t quite understand. It almost made him angry when he thought of the power she could wield over him if he got too close. She’d spoken so much of trust and he wanted to trust her. He did. But he’d trusted Ra’s, he’d trusted his father and at one point in his life he’d trusted Sgt. Gordon. Those relationships had not ended well. Then this prissy young detective comes along and confronts him with feelings he didn’t think he could have. That was why she was the subject of his fear toxin reaction. She’d found a way to matter to him and losing her had already become his worst fear. He wanted… oh god there were so many things that he wanted from her. He hoped that it wouldn’t take much longer because he was starting to lose patience. 
She stared at the ceiling above her bed and tried to touch herself. She didn’t have her vibrator and Crane had made a point of pushing her away, so she was left to rough it out with her hands. She hadn’t been stuck with just her bare hands since college. Her vibrator had obviously spoiled her and she felt nowhere near as much pleasure without it, though Crane had come extremely close the night before. She dug her heels into the mattress and bit her lip, concentrating as hard as she could on Crane. She remembered the way he spoke to her as he fucked her, how calm and direct he’d been with her body. They both had needs and desires and he hadn’t let insecurities or formalities stand in the way. Her body was craving a release that she’d teased it with twice already that day and she couldn’t fall asleep without trying to appease it. After ten minutes of heavy breathing and a sore arm she collapsed in frustration across her bed. She desperately wanted him and nothing was going to cut it unless it was him inside her. Something- anything. She groaned into her hands and kicked the blankets off of her. 
The door handle creaked and Crane shifted in his half-sleep haze. The bed moved around him and he was startled awake by the girl, straddling his hips. He kept a smile from his lips as he looked up at her. 
“What the hell are you doing?” He got out before her hand clamped around his mouth. She shushed him. 
“Listen here, Crane. Since we have an understanding,” she used his word for their relationship, “I’ll tell it to you straight. I want you. I need you. I have very few needs because I’m a simple girl, but right now, you’re one of them. I’ll ask you nicely and if you humor me, I won’t cause trouble.”
“Trouble?” His voice was muffled against her hand as he raised his eyebrow. 
“I have a whole round of trouble tucked away behind my headboard.” 
“Nice threat. So, you what? Want to rape me?” He propped himself up on his elbows. 
She hooked her finger around the collar of his black t-shirt and sighed. 
“You have such a dirty mind. Why do you have to make it sound so perverted?” She held his chin tightly in her hand and dragged her other hand down his chest stopping at the waistband of his pants. 
“That’s what it is, detective.” He cocked his head to the side and rested it on his shoulder. “Are you really going to do that to me?” 
“Says the man that strapped me to a slab and drugged me three times,” she held up three fingers to stress her point and shifted her hips on his crotch. 
“We both have problems, what do you want me to say?” 
“That you’ll fuck me,” she started to grind her hips and he withheld his sinful exhale. 
“Oh?” He said instead, “what if I’m too tired? Fucking is hard work.”
“Then let me do it,” she shrugged with a smile, “I’ll make us both feel good.” Crane raised a skeptical eyebrow and smirked. 
“You really didn’t get enough at dinner did you?” He teased and she shook her head. 
“You have no idea.”
He watched her rub herself against him and then slowly allowed his eyes to meet hers. She moaned just looking into his eyes and he laughed. 
“Ok, let’s see how you do.” He allowed her casually and watched as she bounced happily on his lap and scooted down to his knees. She pulled down the blanket and worked her hands below his waistband. He was already hard and she scoffed, pissed that he hadn’t admitted how turned on he was too. He smirked as she pulled his cock out of his pants and rolled her tongue around the tip. When she took him in her mouth he sighed softly, his mouth open as he watched her give him head. She swirled her tongue around his length and she bobbed her head up and down. She sucked and dragged her mouth slowly over him until he bucked softly into her mouth. She felt her stomach get hot with excitement and she worked harder, humming against him as she took him deeper. Crane clenched his fists and groaned. She pulled her mouth to the top of his cock and sucked hard, teasing his climax which she could tell was fast approaching. His forehead was creased and he squeezed his eyes shut, allowing his head to fall back with a low gasp. 
“Fuck alright, that’s enough,” He sat up again and smirked, “get what you want out of me.” He panted and ran his thumb over her bottom lip. She licked her lips and crawled off the bed. Crane watched her as she stepped out of her bottoms and straddled him once more, naked from the waist down. His erection rested against her stomach and he swallowed, staring at her bare cunt. 
“I hope you like what you see,” she whispered and removed her top. Her breasts shifted slightly against her skin as she moved and her hair fell around her in a sultry mess. “Because it all belongs to you now,” she pressed her hands against his stomach for balance and leaned closer. “But this,” she looked him up and down, landing on his beautiful eyes and smiling, “this belongs to me.” 
“Silly girl,” he barely shook his head as his eyes trained on her, “I don’t belong to anyone.” 
“We’ll see about that,” she shrugged and bit her lip as she lowered herself onto his cock. She whined in relief and moved her hips slowly. She was so wet he could her himself move inside of her as she fucked him. Crane’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he released a tight breath. 
“Fuuuuck…” he hissed and she squeezed around him, nearly orgasming just by hearing the pleasure in his voice. She panted breathlessly as she started to move up and down, her hands balanced on his navel where there was a thin dusting of hair. He thrusted up involuntarily and they both moaned. She sped up slightly, moving her hips back and forth. Crane’s hands found the fleshy handles of her hips and dug his fingers into her skin. He had laid back completely making it so that he had to raise his head when he wanted to watch how she snapped down on him. She let her head fall back and moaned loudly as his cock hit the right place each time. The pleasure was so good between her legs that her release felt like the desire to pee. When her climax snapped, her eyes rolled back and she gasped, riding it out and enjoying the pressure of him inside her as it carried her through the high. Her climax triggered his as he felt her cum around her. 
“You’re going to cum inside me,” she panted and whimpered through the sensations. 
“Is that an order?” He gritted out, his fingers leaving bruises on her hips. He was trying to hold off his orgasm but as she nodded and squeezed him again, he let himself cum inside her with a loud groan. She sat for a second longer as he finished and finally moved off. She cleaned him off, sucking his swollen cock and swallowing all of the excess cum and discharge that had collected along his length. He covered his face with his hands as he tried to catch his breath.
“Are you going to leave it in?” He asked in a deep, tired voice. 
“Your cum?” 
“Yes, are you going to leave it in you?” He removed his hands and watched as she crawled up the bed to sit beside him. 
“Do you want me to?” She let her hair fall around them and he twirled the end of one of the pieces. 
He thought for a moment before nodding his head, “yes.” She curled up beside him and draped her leg between his. He exhaled slowly and wrapped his arm around the back of her head, resting his hand on her shoulder. She rubbed her nose against his chest, breathing in the clean smell of his t-shirt. Crane closed his eyes and waited as her breathing became more regular and slow. She started to fall asleep, her hand clasped against his ribs. When she was asleep, he propped himself up on one arm and watched her. Words couldn’t describe how good that was, what she did for him. It was better than their first time when the roles had been reversed. He liked that she could touch him and explore him with a needily innocence like a horny teenager. Crane thought about his cum still sitting inside her, collecting around her inner-thighs. He kissed her as she slept deeply, licking the salty taste from her lips and swallowing. She made a noise in her sleep and he drew his hand around her perfect breast, admiring her body in the dull glow of the moon. Gotham would be no match for them once they were united. No one could stop them, not even themselves. Once they started they could never stop, they had to take everything from each other. His head fell back into his pillow and he kissed the curve of her throat before allowing himself to fall asleep beside her. He’d never slept with a woman after sex. She was the first. 
iv 
They woke up late in the morning and dressed warmly, both wearing sweaters and long pants. Crane had traded in his suit for more casual wear though his attire was always oozing with old money aesthetic. After a breakfast of eggs benedict and black coffee, Crane asked if she wanted to see the house. 
“Of course,” she smiled and nodded excitedly. There were some questions she still had for Crane and she had her own list of theories and thoughts that the house inspired inside her. She worried what the house would reveal and more importantly, what it may say about Crane. She wondered if he had lived a childhood similar to hers, one of trauma and violence, even if he had lived in a huge mansion with every monetary item he could ever desire. 
They started outside the house, walking the grounds. The exterior of the house was set in elaborate stone carvings. The roofs were made of dark terracotta, framing widow peaks at the top of many of the towers. Crane watched her reaction as they rounded to the side of the house with the destroyed wing, still black from the burning. She could even still smell the charcoal made from the house’s old paneling. 
“Your father never rebuilt it?” She asked, curious. Crane studied the crumbling structure and shook his head.
“No, he died before making plans for a renovation.” She looked at him quickly and met his eyes. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 
“But you understand.” 
She nodded slowly, “I was an orphan, I never knew my parents.” 
“So was I.” He clenched his jaw and looked down at the ground. 
“Your mother?” She asked hesitantly. 
“She died, here, in this wing.” He pointed to the second floor of the burned wing. “That was her room.” 
“You were young then too,” she remembered and he nodded. “Do you remember your mother?” 
“Some things but nothing that brings me much comfort. I remember how she died and I remember how my father mourned her.” 
“So she died in the fire?”
“Yes,” he nodded and folded his arms across his chest, “she was trapped inside after the fire started. They weren’t able to save her. My father was never the same after that.”
“When did your father die?” 
“Before I went to college…” he trailed off and they stood in silence for a moment. “He was a chemist, you know.” 
“No, I didn’t know. Did he teach you?”
Crane chuckled darkly, “I guess you could say that. He used me for his experiments.” He scowled. What he had said back in Arkham came back to her mind and she risked asking more. 
“Jonathan?” She started. 
“Yes?” He asked, his voice hard and protective like a layer of ice. 
“What did he do to you?” 
Crane swallowed and turned away from the house, forcing her to hurry behind him to keep up. His hair was tousled by the wind as he walked through the icy field. As the slope curved downwards, he finally started to speak. 
“He was the one who first came up with the idea for the fear serum. After my mother’s death he became obsessed with it and started to test it on himself like a lunatic. It messed with his head and made him relive my mother’s death over and over again until he finally had to stop and find a new subject. His new subject became me.” He darted his eyes angrily around the ground as he spoke, spit flying from his lips. “He would give me the toxin and at the time, it was 10x more dangerous. He used me to gauge the body’s reactions to fear and kept track of what the brain imagined during that state of panic. He wanted to create a cure for fear, a way to remove the body’s reaction to it. At some point he made a breakthrough in the case using people he’d kidnapped and found a way to remove a person’s ability to be afraid. He used it on himself and after that, his natural instincts became mute. When I was sixteen he brought me here,” he stopped suddenly and she looked as he gestured at the scarecrow hanging from its perch, “and he administered the drug one last time.”
“What happened?” She whispered, her blood going cold. 
“I overdosed on the serum and hallucinated that the scarecrow was alive but the fear I felt was multiplied from the large dose of toxin. Your old boss, Sgt Gordon, found us out here having come to arrest my father for kidnapping and murder. Because my father no longer feared anything, he charged Gordon and Gordon shot him. He died where we’re standing… and I watched it. I watched it all happen.” He stared at the scarecrow, his face set. He didn’t show any emotion as he recounted his father’s death, his own trauma. 
“What did Gordon do?” She stepped closer but left him a small circle of space, a safety net. 
“He took me to the hospital and once I recovered, they brought me back here.”
“You were so young,” she whispered sadly, wanting to cry for him. 
“So were you, weren’t you, when you were left at the doors of Gotham’s orphanage?” She nodded. 
“I was a baby.” She hugged herself and stared down at the ground beneath them.
“That’s why I think we’re so similar. We raised ourselves- you and I.” He smirked, “it would explain our similar psychology.” 
“The fact that we’re both deeply disturbed? Sure, I’ll give you that,” she laughed lightly, her nose burned in the cold air. 
“Mm… deeply disturbed,” Crane sounded out the words with a soft hiss. 
“Psychotic?” She offered. 
“Psychopathic.” 
“Deranged.” 
“That’s not a medical diagnosis I’m familiar with,” he looked down at her, taking in the profile of her ruddy cheeks blistering in the wind. 
‘But not far off is it?” She smiled and looped her fingers in the front of his sweater, her hands brushing the hard muscle beneath. 
“Hmmm, I don’t know. I’ll have to conduct more thorough examinations.. I’d kill to have a look inside your head.” His fingers traced her hairline and pulled gently on her hair.  
“I have a few ideas for other places you could examine,” she teased and he smirked, coming back from his temporary emotional lag. 
“Intriguing offer, detective.”
“Thank you, Dr. Crane,” she returned his smirk and pulled him away from the scarecrow. He followed her. “Why did you choose the scarecrow as your alias?” she brought the conversation back and his forehead creased again as he thought. 
“I was forced to face my fear and after I returned here with just Hobbs and his wife to keep me company. I decided to take back the power that the scarecrow took away from me that day. Embracing my fear made me stronger, more powerful,” He answered seriously and she nodded. 
“Why did you improve your father’s fear toxin if you knew what it was capable of?” She asked quietly, watching for his reaction. 
“I made it because I knew what it was capable of. People like us have suffered, we’ve been wronged, we’ve been abandoned and ignored. There are people in this world who have the privilege of never being afraid because they have nothing to fear. I made it originally to use on the city’s elite, the people who think they’re better than me because they think they’re wealthier than I am, smarter than I am. Ra’s distracted me from my plan and I know now that I was right from the very beginning, Batman and his like need to be dethroned. We can be the ones to do it.” 
She looked into his eyes and kissed him, drawing his face down to hers by the rough collar of his sweater. His lips were dry from the wind. When she pulled away he held her face between his hands and looked at her seriously, his nostrils flared. 
“Do you still trust me after everything I just told you? Do you still want to be with me?” He asked her calmly, a dark glint in his eye. She dropped her head to the side and he caught it easily in his palm. 
“Yes, yes.” She nodded. 
They walked in silence, their hands brushing against each other and their hair blowing in the short gusts of wind. 
“There’s still something you should know,” Crane began as they crossed through the door into the grand entry hall. 
“Like how you learned to ride a horse?” She joked but Crane didn’t smile. His face was hard again as it had been before. Her smile faded slowly and she felt her heart shutter and drop. “What?” She whispered and Crane left without another word, so she followed him hesitantly. He led her down into the basement, taking a stone staircase hidden behind a wall panel that also served as a door. Their steps echoed in the small space, electric sconces burned along the creepy passage. Finally Crane stopped at the door at the bottom of the stairs. The door was made of solid steel and Crane had to enter a passcode to open it. 
“Through here,” he guided her through the door and closed it behind them. The room was large and cave-like, lined with bookshelves and lab equipment. She gave an appreciative gasp, taking in the room that served as Crane’s office and private lab. “This was my father’s lab and when he died, it became mine.” He walked around to his desk and rummaged through one of the bottom drawers, removing a few small folders and placing them on his desk. He rested his knuckles on the cherry wood surface and sighed, finally meeting her eyes since they got back to the house. 
“Back to our topic of trust, I should tell you that I did a little snooping, if you will, into your past when we first started crossing paths. I wanted to know who I was dealing with, which is why I did this and now that we’ve ended up here together, I feel that it’s only right,” the word tasted bitter on his tongue, “to show you what I found. I’ve always told you that we’re alike, that we understand each other but I’ve never explained why. This is why I know we’re alike, Y/N.” He opened the front flap of each folder and pushed them down to the front of the desk. “You should know what happened to you as a child, the things they never told you at the orphanage.” He waited as she swallowed and looked between the papers and Crane. 
“What do you mean?” She whispered, “the things that happened to me?” 
“How the Wayne family ruined both of our lives.” His voice was slow and dark like syrup and it took her a few seconds to process what he was saying, what he was implying. She looked down at the folders again and took a step closer. When she reached his desk, she scanned the documents with blurred vision. “What… what do they say?” She rubbed her eyes and stepped away. Crane took the first folder, his jaw clenched. 
“Y/L/N, Y/N was born into the Arkham family, the founders of Arkham Asylum. Her parents were known to have had numerous disagreements with the Wayne family over the inappropriate use of the criminal justice system by moving people whom the Waynes didn’t like into the asylum. The Arkhams did not believe that the Waynes should have had the right to imprison their political enemies and opponents and tried to inform the public. The message to the press and other government officials was intercepted by the Wayne administration and destroyed, though one draft of the letter was salvaged from the Arkham’s trash and archived in the police station, it was never investigated. The Arkhams, both in their early 30s, were found dead a week later in their home. With no other living relatives, the baby, named Matilda Y/N Arkham by her parents, was discreetly handed over to Gotham orphanage by people closely connected to Wayne following the murder.” He paused, his eyes flicking up. She had gone white and her hand was clamped around one of the shelves on a nearby bookshelf. She looked up at him when he stopped and tried to speak but nothing came. He still waited, giving her time to speak but when she didn’t, he continued. 
“My private investigator found this from government records, including records still housed in Gotham orphanage. They knew this whole time and never informed you even after you became a legal adult. They never investigated your parents’ death and Thomas Wayne, the father of Gotham’s famous playboy, Bryce Wayne, never paid for his actions. He continued to imprison his enemies and without your parents there to run the asylum, it fell into its current state. Nothing I could have done with Arkham would have ever salvaged it after what Wayne’s administration did. So, you see now why I said that we were alike in so many ways. The Wayne’s have too much power even now and someone needs to do something about it.” Crane sighed and walked back to the front of his desk and leaned against it, his eyes lowered to the ground. She inhaled deeply. 
“You said something about Wayne ruining both of our lives. What did he do to you?” She asked him, her face red from stress and emotion. 
“He killed my mother,” he answered evenly and they met each others’ eyes. Her questioning eyes prompted Crane to explain. “He visited my mother whom he’d been seeing for a few months. She wanted to end things because she had me and I was getting older, and her marriage was starting to improve; she no longer wanted to be his mistress. He got angry and locked her inside her bedroom and then he lit a fire, right outside her room. He left before anyone realized what had happened. They found the key in her bedroom door, still inside the lock, locking the door from the outside. They knew that something had happened and the people in the police department knew the rumors, the secret love affair between Mrs. Crane and Mr. Wayne. There was a whole case but the police commissioner closed it and it was never solved. My father was a good man before that day, my mother’s murder drove him insane. For years it led him to do things that he shouldn’t have done. Wayne had a hand in my fate too, setting up my parents’ demise. I would have ended up alongside you at Gotham’s orphanage if Hobbs and his wife didn’t agree to look after me for those last two years before I was old enough to be my own guardian. Thomas Wayne died when I was eleven and yet, he still managed to kill my father from the grave. So, we’re connected by a chain of discord welded together by the Wayne family.”
“Yes…” he whispered and sank down into a dusty armchair. “So my real name is Matilda Arkham?” 
“Technically speaking, yes.” 
“And so that means Arkham Asylum also belongs to me?” 
Crane smiled with his wide lips closed, “technically.”  
Realization clicked in and she couldn’t help but laugh. She covered her mouth with her palms and laughed hysterically. Crane smiled down at his feet and scratched the side of his face. Though she suddenly realized that her entire life had been a lie, she laughed because now, everything made sense. And by some disturbed twist of fate, she and Crane had been bound to be together all because of Thomas Wayne. She pulled herself from the chair and looked at the family picture included in one of the folders. Crane leaned over her shoulder, breathing calmly against her neck. Goosebumps rose on her arms as she studied the picture. Lying in the arms of a woman with strawberry blonde hair, was her. Her father held her foot in between his fingers, smiling down at her with brown eyes. She’d seen their portrait in passing in the asylum and yet she’d never placed why they managed to look so… familiar. They’d been celebrated psychiatrists in their time. She looked at Crane, still leaning against the desk beside her, his blue eyes were trained on her face. So that’s why she had a thing for psychiatrists, she realized. 
“Are you ready to hear my plan now,” he asked her with a smirk, “... Miss Arkham?” 
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cxsmiclore · 3 months
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THE RULES: please take a minute to read the terms and conditions for browsing my blog!
here's my DNI criteria warning, this blog may contain [N]SFW, and dark content. if you can't handle any of that, then don't follow. read through the remainder of my rules to avoid being blocked.
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OVERVIEW
do not plagiarize, translate, or repost my writing anywhere.
do not send me a request you sent to another writer.
do not request a series.
please always send requests through my ask box
feel free to be as specific in your request, it really helps my writing when you're detailed in what you want to see in the fic but don't be too specific where you need to send another ask cause you ran past the word limit in asks.
please specify if you want fem!reader, or male!reader or black!reader or albino!reader.
if you don't see something listed here, you can send me an ask and ask me if i'm comfortable doing a trope/kink and i'll let you know.
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WHO I'll WRITE FOR?
𝜗𝜚 bridgerton: anthony bridgerton, benedict bridgerton, colin bridgerton, daphne bridgerton, eloise bridgerton, penelope featherington + simon basset.
𝜗𝜚 diary of a wimpy kid: rodrick heffley.
𝜗𝜚 gossip girl: blair wardorf, chuck bass, dan humphrey, nate archibald + serena van der woodsen.
𝜗𝜚 marvel: hobie brown, miguel o'hara, peter parker ( andrew & tom ) + thor odindson.
𝜗𝜚 outer banks: jj maybank, john b routlege, kiara carrera, pope heyward, rafe cameron + sarah cameron.
𝜗𝜚 real people: drew starkey.
𝜗𝜚 stardew valley: alex, abigail, elliot, haley, leah, maru, penny, sam, sebastian + shane.
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WHAT I'LL WRITE.
𝜗𝜚 reader inserts: fem! reader ( for both female & male characters, male reader ( only for female characters ), gn! reader, kook! reader, pogue! reader, routlege! reader, cameron! reader, maybank! reader, carrera! reader, heyward! reader, ambiguous + poc friendly.
𝜗𝜚 genres: angst to fluff, fluff, hurt/comfort, modern au, smut, platonic/romantic requests, pregnancy, marriage/mates, modern aus, parent au, courting/future mates, anxiety, infidelity, cheating ; only where reader gets cheated on and the character comforts them, smaus, protective/possessive behavior + insecurities.
𝜗𝜚 kinks: age-gap (as long as both are of age), light bdsm, breeding kink, drunk sex/under the influence, dom!character/sub!reader, sub!character/dom!reader, switch!character, praise kink, slight daddy kink, lactation kink, heats/ruts/knotting, ownership/claiming/marking, a/b/o, cockwarming, quirofilia, gagging/choking, voyeurism, exhibitionism, stepcest, size kink, belly bulge, corruption, anal/anilingus, orgasm denial, biting, impact play (to an extent) + katoptronophilia.
𝜗𝜚 tropes: friends to lovers, soulmates/fated mates trope, jealousy, enemies to lovers, office romance/coworkers to lovers, forbidden love, enemies to friends to lovers, second chance, childhood friends to lovers, rivals to lovers, rivals to friends to lovers, exes to lovers, opposites attract, blind to love, rich vs poor, fake relationship, forced proximity/stuck together + etc ( just ask me if i'll write a trope if you don't see it in this list ).
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WHAT I'LL NOT WRITE.
𝜗𝜚 reader inserts: trans! reader + white reader ( please do not ask me to write for specifically white readers, your req will be deleted ).
𝜗𝜚 genres: death, cheating ; the reader cheats on character, non con, dub con, cnc, incest, r*pe, su*c*de/su*c*d*al thoughts, abuse, self-harm, yandere, abortion/miscarriages, gore, eating disorders, heavy trauma, heavy violence, smut for gn readers, sexual assault, pedophilia, underage sex + race play.
𝜗𝜚 kinks: age regression, vomit kink, mommy kink, foot fetishes, piss/feces kink, pegging, DDLC, knife play, gun play + kidnapping (as in like reader falls in love w the person who kidnapped them).
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berenicetheiv · 2 years
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SHORT CHIRON PERSONA CHART OBSERVATIONS AND NOTES 1:
Don't steal, don't repost.
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✧*。 If it doesn't resonate, that's okay, there are a lot of factors at play to look at (like aspects, houses, etc).
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Our chiron persona chart can show us our wounds and traumas. Experiences that had a huge effect on our selves that we need to heal from- especially from childhood because the events in our younger years greatly shapes and affects our thinking and wellbeing as time goes on. All the things that happened to us that had long lasting effects as the years went by and into the present. How those things shaped what and who we are now. How we think, how we act and how we cope. Not only that, it also tells us what we can do to help heal ourselves (what is best recommended to do and what kind of activities that we can use as an outlet the best etc.) from these wounds to push ourselves forward. As well as how we can heal and comfort others.
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✧*。 MOON
The moon shows how our emotions jump out, how we react emotionally when faced with our wounds and when we experience something traumatic. Can show us how we can deal with our emotional wellbeing in relation to the things that we need to heal from.
✧*。 MERCURY
How we communicate what we are going through. If we are comfortable or not sharing our wounds in the first place. How we use our words when trying to talk to others about what they're going through as well. Can show us if we have wounds related to communicating, if we have a hard time doing so.
✧*。 VENUS
The way we take care of ourselves. If we try to treat ourselves and how. Can show us if we are afraid of love or anything intimate. Like any traumas or wounds that make us wary of it. Our problems with love and how it became that way. How we heal or try to comfort others about their experiences.
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✧*。 SUN CONJUNCT MARS
Especially in the 4th House or the 12th House.
People with this aspect between the sun and mars in their chiron persona chart came from a broken family. Usually, there's cheating involved with one of the parents (mostly the father in hetero relationships too). Which leads to them developing extreme trust issues and becoming skeptical, wary and afraid of love, relationship and marriages. They become independent and become someone who don't really need anyone special. When they do find someone and try it out, most likely it's with a person who also came from a broken family (who probably has the same aspect) because there's a special connection and understanding between them.
The 4th house represents families and relationships. So having this aspect in this house greatly affects the foundations of the family causing problems. Which of course affects the way these people think of wanting a family, they become those who are extremely cautious of getting into relationships and having their own families.
The 12th house on the other hand represents hidden things, the sun represents the father and mars governs over passions, sex, crimes so crimes of passion -> infidelity/cheating so that's that. The person becomes someone who puts themselves first and while that's good, there's also a negative effect which is the way that they just usually gloss over their wounds and pretend it's nothing instead of trying to heal from it so they can be more at ease.
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That's all for now. Thank you so much for reading ♡˖.
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© 2022 BERENICETHEIV. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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neteyamsoare · 7 months
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ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ everything you need to know before requesting!
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GENERAL RULES
+ this blog writes for both sfw and nsfw, so users must be 18+ to interact. 18+ to request smut please respect this rule. this blog interacts and posts dark content.
+ my asks are open to whatever, no requests when requests are closed and thirsts are probably always open unless stated otherwise.
+ do not follow me if you are a minor, uninterested in nsfw content, you’re racist or anything anti LGBTQ+, anti-choice or if you don’t believe fictional characters can be aged up as i will be doing so when required! if you meet that criteria? kindly fuck off, don't come in my inbox or comments w hate cause it will be ignored and deleted. minors, blank and ageless blogs will be blocked.
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INTERACTION RULES
+ you can always claim an emoji so i can recognize who you are as we talk regularly, here is the emoji anons list so you can see which emoji is already taken + don't be a ghost emoji anon, you don't have to talk to me all the time but just let me know you're still here w me.
+ please don’t ask me to follow/dm you without having interacted with me in asks beforehand. don’t trauma dump in my dms or asks. i’m not a therapist and it makes me uncomfortable. the best i can do is give advice on day to day scenarios.
+ if you’re blocked don’t ask why. you’re either a minor, an ageless blog, you make me uncomfortable, or you interact w someone i don't fuck with. i curate my tumblr experience and do what’s best for me. same rules apply for if i break a mutual.
+ don't come in my asks badmouthing one of my moots, if you do whether you're on anon or not, you're getting blocked simple as that. / also if you come in my asks putting down others (sending multiple hate anons to them) because you don't have what they have in their lives, you're getting blocked.
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REQUEST RULES
+ i accept: headcanons, imagines, one-shots, mini-series/series suggestions, prompts, drabbles, thirsts, fluff, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, smut + angst.
+ characters i'll write for: ao’nung, eetu, etuwa, human & na’vi! jake sully, jamie flatters, kiri sully, lo’ak sully, nefika, neteyam sully, neytiri sully, norm spellman (willing to write for him if people send in reqs for him), nor, recom! quaritch, ralak sepwan (@zestys-stuff's oc), ri’nela, ronal, rotxo, sam worthington, spider socorro, so’lek, tarsem, teylan, tonowari, trudy chacon, tsireya + tsu'tey rongloa.
+ i will write: platonic/romantic requests, pregnancy, marriage/mates, modern aus, parent au, courting/future mates, anxiety, infidelity, cheating (only where reader gets cheated on and the character comforts them), smaus, protective/possessive behavior, insecurities + na'vi character x human smut.
+ kinks i'll write: age-gap (as long as both are of age), light bdsm, breeding kink, dom!character/sub!reader, sub!character/dom!reader, switch!character, praise kink, daddy kink, lactation kink, heats/ruts/knotting, ownership/claiming/marking, cockwarming, quirofilia, dub-con, gagging/choking, voyeurism, exhibitionism, stepcest, blood play, size kink, belly bulge, corruption, anal/anilingus, orgasm denial, biting, impact play (to an extent) + katoptronophilia.
+ tropes i'll write: friends to lovers, soulmates/fated mates trope, jealousy, enemies to lovers, office romance/coworkers to lovers, forbidden love, enemies to friends to lovers, second chance, childhood friends to lovers, rivals to lovers, rivals to friends to lovers, exes to lovers, opposites attract, blind to love, rich vs poor, fake relationship, forced proximity/stuck together, best friend's brother/sister, brother’s best friend, amnesia, dad’s best friend, sex worker/pornstar au, best friend’s dad, holiday romances/flings, friends with benefits, one bed, grumpy x sunshine, sworn off relationships, oblivious to love, unrequited love, alpha/beta/omega dynamic, best friend's ex, matchmaker, old enemies, unexpected pregnancy, secret admirer, fling/one night stand, long distance relationship, love at first sight, reunion romance/the one that got away bet, parent neglect (readers made up parents not jake & neytiri) + road trip.
+ types of readers i'll write: fem!reader, male!reader, black!reader, albino!reader, deaf!reader, oblivious!reader, bimbo!reader, virgin!reader, insecure!reader, grumpy/sunshine!reader, plus-size!reader + drunk!reader.
+ types of relationships i'll write: monogamous/polygamy, male!character x female!reader, female!character x male!reader, female!character x female!reader, character x gn!reader, character x child!reader (platonic only) + character x character (only jake x neytiri, lo'ak x tsireya, kiri x rotxo, tonowari x ronal + trudy x norm).
+ i won't write: r*pe, abuse, self-harm, death, yandere, su!c!de/su!c!dal thoughts, abortion/miscarriages, cheating (where reader cheats on character), incest, gore, eating disorders, heavy trauma, heavy violence, sexual assault, pedophilia, underage sex, smut for gn!readers, male!character x male!reader, + non con.
+ characters/types of readers i'll not write: grace, mo'at, tuktirey sully, max, recoms — they will only be in fics as side characters + trans!reader.
+ kinks i'll not write: heavy bdsm, age regression, vomit kink, mommy kink, foot fetishes, piss/feces kink, pegging, DDLC, knife play + gun play. 
+ tropes i'll not write: kidnapping (as in like reader falls in love w the person who kidnapped them).
+ please always send requests through my ask box, will not be accepting ones that come through my messages (except if you need to ask me a question) and comments because I'll forget it's there.
+ if you're going to send a request, please make sure you haven't already sent it to another person, if i find out someone else did/or received the same request, i’ll not do it.
+ feel free to be as specific in your request, it really helps my writing when you're detailed in what you want to see in the fic. like if you want enemies to lovers trope, you need to tell me why they hate each other. / please specify if you want fem!reader or gn!reader, or male!reader or black!reader or albino!reader. also specify if you want na'vi!reader, human!reader, avatar!reader, or simply avatar to na'vi!reader. also if the reader is in any clans that are mentioned in avatar.
+ if you don't see something listed here, you can send me an ask and ask me if i'm comfortable doing a trope/kink and i'll let you know.
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ivandurak · 3 months
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In her essay “What Was Confessional Poetry?” (1993), Diane Middlebrook identifies the chief characteristics of the group: “Their confessional poetry investigates the pressures on the family as an institution regulating middle-class private life, primarily through the agency of the mother. Its principal themes are divorce, sexual infidelity, childhood neglect, and the mental disorders that follow from deep emotional wounds received in early life. A confessional poem contains a first-person speaker, ‘I,’ and always seems to refer to a real person in whose actual life real episodes have occurred that cause actual pain in the poem.” But the narrow definition of “confessional poetry” equates poetry too closely with psychological trauma and defines it too restrictively as a way of writing about such illicit subjects as sexual guilt, alcoholism, and mental illness. There is a more honorific sense of confession, which after all goes back as far as the Book of the Dead and other ancient Egyptian literary texts. It can be traced to autobiographical writing from Saint Augustine (354–430) to Jean Jacques Rousseau (1712–1778). Confessional writers in the autobiographical vein declare, disclose, and defend the individual self as a representative figure, who writes not just about the inner self but also about the outer world.
Edward Hirsch. A Poet's Glossary.
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nicromancytarot · 2 months
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Hello #2 here ! Sorry for the late feedback 😅
Your reading resonates a lot and I agree that my main trauma is being unheard, dismissed and it's old too
I've been through many things since my childhood till now and I grew up in a family that see emotions as weakness or expressing it and setting boundaries means that you are picking a fight. I was told to repress it and just move on every time there's something that hurt me or some obstacles in my life. They are also trying to change me as a person because being sensitive, vulnerable, emotional is wrong and they are thinking that I'm too weak emotionally and mentally and that I can survive in this world. So that's why I'm a burning building inside haha
You are right I have been giving so much of energy on so many things but didn't get the same energy back, nothing changes. Whether it's about my family or my illness. Worse part is I thought that I thought I found someone that finally understand me and listen to me but in the end he was thinking like my family and despite trying to make our relationship work for 10 years, he cheated on me.
So yeah you saw it right I'm more guarded now and my standards heightened. I'm an introverted person and only share my feelings to few people that I trust, what he did is a huge betrayal for me
But I agree with you, I need to find the right people for me so I can voice my feelings without fear and finally feeling heard.
Thank you so much for the reading and the advices, I'm really on my healing journey right now focusing on loving and finding myself. It's definitely hard and I'm scared about my future sometimes but I'm still hopeful
Also thank you for your encouraging words ! Wish you the best ❤
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate your effort a lot!!
Being told to refrain from setting boundaries in your childhood can lead to chronic people-pleasing later in life, being told to stay away from sharing any emotions, or expressions can cause a deep wounded fear of vulnerability, so it makes sense that you feel as though your feeling are only internal for you, rather than expressed externally. It’s definitely important that you allow yourself to express how you feel, as long as it’s healthy, expression is cleansing to one’s soul and mind, you deserve to feel those emotions, and you can learn to address them.
I think your main issue is that you attract people who are like your family in order to try and rewrite the past, to make collectives that think like them, see you for who you are. Give yourself more attention than you give others, you have the right to put yourself above other people, as much as they can help you learn, they can hurt you even more. It’s important that you prioritise yourself. You being cheated on is no one’s fault but the person who cheated on you, it might give you some comfort to know that cheaters tend to cheat out of insecurity or lack of control, I can tell that you’re a new thinker, a wild mind and I assume that they felt as though they couldn’t “tame” you, and their insecurities got the better of them, so they resorted to infidelity in order to affirm control once again.
I’m so sorry that you went through that, no one deserves it. Pay attention to your mind and body, listen to what they wan to tell you and need to let you know. Our bodies hold onto so much trauma, and there’s probably so many things that remind you of your ex, therefore your body associates a certain thing with them, try to cleanse yourself of the things that are around you, people too.
Example: you started drinking alcohol at the same time as when you met your ex, alcohol releases endorphins that cause you to feel an intensified sensation, so the “high” that comes from drinking is now associated to your ex, every time you drink, your mind and body are reminded of him. Removing alcohol from your life can help you rewrite the memories that come along with it.
Your ideas, your voice and your mind is so powerful, you deserve to be heard and seen for who you are, and not who people want you to be. Find those who care for you and want to see you thrive.
So glad that I was able to help you with your healing journey, hopefully you’re able to heal from these issues and help yourself get better. Everyone has the right to be happy, so be sure to find what makes you feel amazing, do not suppress who you are out of fear of not being liked.
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mylittleredgirl · 3 months
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dear hurtcomfortex author
thank you so much for writing for me! i hope you have fun. i'm very easy to please as a reader and love to be surprised! (i love treats, too!)
there were so many more wonderful tags to choose from (and i completed my sign-up 30 seconds before the bell), so in addition to my sign-up tags, feel free to write to any of my general likes below for any requested ship, or other similar tropes as long as they avoid my DNWs.
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💕 i love: canon divergence | complications (e.g. emotional baggage, working together while in a relationship, traumas inflicted by canon) | episode-related fics | fix-its | friends to lovers | happy/hopeful endings | hurt/comfort | “it’s just casual” to lovers | other canon characters included in the fic | pining | polyamory dynamics | 5-times | all ratings are welcome.
❤️‍🩹 hurt/comfort likes: aftermath stories | characters who don't expect comfort learning how to accept it | comforting characters heal themselves through the act of helping | comforting each other while hiding/waiting/in fear | cumulative damage (emotional or physical) | hurt character struggles to maintain their dignity… and ultimately regains it | “i should have been there/been able to stop it” | “i'll stay with you” | kindness tailored to the way a character can accept it | made to watch (or can’t stop imagining) | one hurt physically/one hurt emotionally | platonic physical comfort | shared vulnerability | sexual healing | “the last straw” is something small.
🔥 kinks enjoyed: aliens made them do it (or local canon dubcon equivalent) | blow jobs | body worship (especially related to body changes like aging, weight gain, scars, etc) | edging/orgasm delay | hand jobs | masturbation | non-penetrative sex (not that i’m opposed to penetrative sex, just another thing i enjoy!) | overindulgence for coping or for fun (food, drinks, sex, etc) | soft dom/sub in bed (bondage and praise yes, pain and shame no) | telepathy | watching/voyeurism | sweet i-love-you sex works for me too!!
⛔️ DNWs: alternate-setting AUs (law office, coffee-shop, etc; small & large canon divergences are welcome though!) | bashing of other characters or past canon relationships | cannibalism | crossovers (except between series in the same universe, like star trek) | hurt no comfort | non-canon nicknames | non-con between requested characters (dubcon ok) | non-sexual bodily fluids in sex scenes | permanent character death | permanent loss of autonomy | spelling out accents (for human characters) | unplanned pregnancy | zombies or blood-sucking vampires (other canon-typical aliens and cryptids are welcome!).
⚠️ opt-ins for common DNWs: i’m fine with sexual violence being part of the story or backstory (including in childhood), as long as it’s not graphic, not committed by major/recurring canon characters, and doesn’t cause irreparable damage (e.g. not "will always feel pain or fear with sex," has to quit their job, etc). i like second-person POV a lot, as long as the “you” is a canon character. i dnw major character death, but death/grief for other people or animals is fine. i’m also OK with body image issues, canon-typical sexism, infidelity, medical/surgical things, mental illness, miscarriage, and torture.
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🌃 Stargate Atlantis 🌃 john sheppard/elizabeth weir (hurt either one or both)
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(hurting both wasn't technically an option, but i would welcome it!)
these two are made for hurt/comfort. they're both strong and have been through so many wringers. they're terrible at admitting vulnerability, taking care of themselves, and accepting help from others. i would love to see them support each other (well or clumsily) through canon suffering, brand-new suffering of your choosing, or just a hard day at the office. some interesting tag options for them are the "character planned to die but didn't" option (perhaps elizabeth more than john -- i think he's aware in canon of his protagonist invulnerability), "bad guys made them do it" for a darker dubcon take for them to work through together, and "rehumanization" has canon and metaphorical potential for either one of them. please feel especially free to bring your own ideas for these two -- i have rarely met a sheppard/weir idea i didn't love!
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⛑ M*A*S*H ⛑ margaret houlihan & colonel potter (hurt either or both); trapper/hawkeye/margaret (hurt margaret)
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i'm now up to season five in m*a*s*h and am so so so obsessed, and especially chewing the drywall about margaret. there's so much wrong with her. there's so much wrong with everyone. truly a show for the ages. there's lots of hurt/comfort potential built into the day-to-day premise -- the long brutal days in a long brutal war, the conditions, the stress, how no one ever has everything they need -- as well as the option for exciting war zone drama. anything from slice-of-life hurt/comfort to dramatic action/adventure would be loved!! i would prefer fic that only includes canon from seasons 1-6, since i probably won't have seen all of the later seasons before reveal time, but that’s not a dnw.
margaret & colonel potter: i loveeee the developing surrogate father/daughter relationship here. it offers so much potential for her to heal and grow, and he has such a soft spot for her in return. i would love to stick them in a little peril to see them get closer -- we know they go together into the villages to do medicine sometimes (and he already got shot once), so perhaps something exciting happens on one of those trips? if you'd rather stay low-key in camp, some emotional support that lets her feel seen or lets him get something back for all the one-way support he offers the others would be lovely.
trapper/hawkeye/margaret: there's so much charged (and horny) energy between them, i can't resist. the times they brought her into their circle (even if reluctantly) were so funny and sweet. i’m happy with any level of ship, pre-ship, or “&” friendship here. i have great love for the ongoing frank/margaret disaster as well, so feel free to include him/that relationship in the story or not however you wish (though if you're using him to hurt her, please keep it within the general canon range of damage -- he should definitely not be the perpetrator in the almost-raped tag scenario up there).
regarding the tags for this show: i genuinely dropped the ball here by not including any tags where trapper & hawkeye caused the hurt they're now trying to resolve, because that would be very in character! if you would like to go that route and make them atone for some of their little crimes, i would love it. even if they’re all friends or lovers now, old habits die hard…
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🛸 The X-Files 🛸 john doggett/monica reyes (monica or both hurt); john doggett/monica reyes/dana scully (hurt any one of them)
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at this point i was panicking about finishing my sign-up, so please feel free to add extra tags! the x-files excels at generating horrifying ways men and creatures can cause harm, and anything within the scope of what happens to agents in a monster of the week ep in canon is fair game (except dnw zombies or vampires). i love the season nine agents and the variable dynamics of longing and need and trust and friendship between all three of them, and the x-files is at its best when the agents are going all out to protect each other!
the tag i have up there is "both captured," but having just one of them captured and the other(s) panicking/coming to their rescue would also be great, or tending the wounds afterwards. some soft comfort after any canon episode or an original case-gone-wrong would also hit the spot. monica is usually the one offering emotional support, so it would be nice to see that go the other way sometimes!
a prompt i always hope someone will fill is “three agents spend the night snowed in with ghosts,” with the author’s choice whether to interpret it as paranormal ghosts or the angsty figurative ghosts they’re all carrying around.
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🛰 Babylon 5 🛰 michael garibaldi/susan ivanova/talia winters (all hurt or hurt talia); lyta alexander & talia winters (hurt talia)
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i really, really want talia to survive. i think susan and michael would be the most motivated to rescue her, and lyta would be the most capable of cleaning up the damage.
i love telepathy in babylon 5. psi corps is so deeply fascinating and fucked up. lyta and talia get so used and abused from so many directions, and the more power they gain, the less freedom and agency they have. the two of them have the same backstory of briefly interning with the psi corps, and i have always wondered if they knew each other pre-canon, and how that might have impacted lyta after unmasking talia's alter ego.
DNW exception for this fandom: while i usually DNW unplanned pregnancy, psi corps tortures its people in all kinds of ways, including reproductive control. i'm fine going dark for psi corps stories (non-con, torture, etc is all built into canon!) as long as our characters come out alive and there's some comfort, love, support, and a hopeful ending.
--
that's it!! thank you again! i hope something here was inspiring or at least not too boring. i will be delighted and so grateful for whatever i receive. enjoy!
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harlowsthetic · 6 months
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ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ everything you need to know before requesting!
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GENERAL RULES
+ this blog writes for both sfw and nsfw, so users must be 18+ to interact. 18+ to request smut please respect this rule. this blog interacts and posts nsfw content.
+ my asks are open to whatever, no requests when requests are closed and thirsts are probably always open unless stated otherwise.
+ do not follow me if you are a minor, uninterested in nsfw content, you’re racist or anything anti LGBTQ+, anti-choice, don't come in my inbox or comments w hate cause it will be ignored and deleted. minors, blank, and ageless blogs will be blocked.
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INTERACTION RULES
+ you can always claim an emoji so i can recognize who you are as we talk regularly, here is the emoji anons list so you can see which emoji is already taken + don't be a ghost emoji anon, you don't have to talk to me all the time but just let me know you're still here w me.
+ please don’t ask me to follow/dm you without having interacted with me in asks beforehand. don’t trauma dump in my dms or asks. i’m not a therapist and it makes me uncomfortable. the best i can do is give advice on day to day scenarios.
+ if you’re blocked don’t ask why. you’re either a minor, an ageless blog, you make me uncomfortable, or you interact w someone i don't fuck with. i curate my tumblr experience and do what’s best for me. same rules apply for if i break a mutual.
+ don't come in my asks badmouthing one of my moots, if you do whether you're on anon or not, you're getting blocked simple as that.
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REQUEST RULES
+ i accept: headcanons, imagines, one-shots, mini-series/series suggestions, prompts, drabbles, thirsts, fluff, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, smut + angst.
+ who i'll write for: jack harlow + jeremy for now, might write gossip girl on here as well.
+ i will write: pregnancy, marriage, modern aus, parent au, anxiety, infidelity, cheating (only where reader gets cheated on and jack comforts her), smaus, protective/possessive behavior + insecurities.
+ kinks i'll write: age-gap (as long as both are of age), light bdsm, somnophilia (w prior consent), breeding kink, dom!character/sub!reader, praise kink, daddy kink, lactation kink, ownership/claiming/biting, cockwarming, quirofilia, gagging/choking, voyeurism, exhibitionism, belly bulge, corruption, anal/anilingus, orgasm denial, biting, impact play (to an extent) + katoptronophilia.
+ tropes i'll write: friends to lovers, soulmates/fated mates trope, jealousy, enemies to lovers, office romance/coworkers to lovers, forbidden love, enemies to friends to lovers, second chance, childhood friends to lovers, rivals to lovers, rivals to friends to lovers, exes to lovers, opposites attract, blind to love, rich vs poor, fake relationship, forced proximity/stuck together, best friend's brother/sister, brother’s best friend, amnesia, dad’s best friend, sex worker/pornstar au, best friend’s dad, holiday romances/flings, friends with benefits, one bed, grumpy x sunshine, sworn off relationships, oblivious to love, unrequited love, alpha/beta/omega dynamic, best friend's ex, matchmaker, old enemies, unexpected pregnancy, secret admirer, fling/one night stand, long distance relationship, love at first sight, reunion romance/the one that got away bet + road trip.
+ types of readers i'll write: fem!reader, black!reader, albino!reader, mixed!reader, oblivious!reader, bimbo!reader, virgin!reader, insecure!reader, grumpy/sunshine!reader, plus-size!reader + drunk!reader.
+ i won't write: r*pe, abuse, self-harm, death, yandere, su!c!de/su!c!dal thoughts, abortion/miscarriages, cheating (where reader cheats on jack or jack cheating on reader), incest, gore, eating disorders, heavy trauma, heavy violence, sexual assault, pedophilia, underage sex + non-con.
+ kinks i'll not write: heavy bdsm, age regression, vomit kink, mommy kink, foot fetishes, piss/feces kink, pegging, DDLC, knife play + gun play. 
+ tropes i'll not write: kidnapping (as in like reader falls in love w the person who kidnapped them).
+ please always send requests through my ask box, will not be accepting ones that come through my messages (except if you need to ask me a question) and comments because I'll forget it's there.
+ if you're going to send a request, please make sure you haven't already sent it to another person, if i find out someone else did/or received the same request, i’ll not do it.
+ feel free to be as specific in your request, it really helps my writing when you're detailed in what you want to see in the fic. like if you want enemies to lovers trope, you need to tell me why they hate each other. / please specify if you want mixed!reader or black!reader or albino!reader.
+ if you don't see something listed here, you can send me an ask and ask me if i'm comfortable doing a trope/kink and i'll let you know.
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erinsextherapist · 1 month
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Questions Sex Therapists and Coaches are Asked
We get questions about people’s bodies, their relationships, their fetishes, their secrets, their fantasies, and so on. We get to use the same language associated with sex that people commonly do. We sit with our clients having conversations about fucking, and orgasms, and pussies, and asses, and dicks. It’s actually a fun job for the most part. 
So, what are some of the most common questions we’re asked, and how do we typically handle those situations?
Keep in mind, each situation itself is unique at the time we’re asked to assess a problem. There are all sorts of evaluations done, questions asked, history taken, before we engage in any interventions. 
1. Am I normal?
What exactly does “normal” mean? Who sets those parameters? 
People constantly want to know if what they are doing, feeling and fantasizing about inside and outside of the bedroom is “normal,” whether it’s their level of desire or the shape and size of their genitals. The type of porn they like, or a fetish they have. If you’re happy, your partner is happy, you’re being safe, and have consent, do what you want. No one has a right to judge what’s going on in your sex life or bedroom, unless there’s some illegality involved. 
2. Can I learn to orgasm...I’ve never had one? 
A lot of people stumble upon “orgasm” during their childhood or teens while self-stimulating. I put “orgasm” in quotations because when the pleasurable sensations happen, you don’t know what it is, nor was there intent behind it. I’m normalizing what’s supposed to happen. 
Becoming orgasmic is actually an intentional skill that can be developed. There are a number of techniques, especially breathing techniques. It’s a good idea to understand sexual anatomy and physiology (male/female). Example, the different parts of the penis, the location and function of the prostate, the differences between a clitoral and G-spot orgasm. It’s also important to be patient and have fun with the journey.
3. How can I give my partner an orgasm?
It’s important for the partner to already be orgasmic on his/her own, and be able to communicate well with the partner. 
Same response as question number 2. Also don’t be afraid to use toys. Work with a therapist or a coach.
4. My partner never wants to have sex anymore. What’s wrong?
A whole lot of things can be happening here…. hormone or nutritional changes , like thyroid, testosterone, estrogen; nutritional deficiencies, like B-12, vitamin D); medical problems, like blood flow issues caused by hypertension, diabetes, heart disease; or side effects of medications, like antidepressants, or those for  hypertension, depression, and anxiety. And of course stress, infidelity, and  trauma might have an impact. This is a situation where licensed professionals are needed to help sort things out. 
5. We watched this movie and want to try dominance and submission.
What’s in pop culture isn’t realistic. There’s way more to this than tying someone up, or whipping them with a crop. There needs to be education about the whole relationship power dynamic, and where you stand. There needs to be education on safety, consent, boundaries, and open communication. This isn’t as simple as people make it seem, nor should it be romanticized. Definitely work with a therapist or coach who specializes in the area. 
6. Can we really recover after infidelity?
This can be tricky, but yes. There absolutely has to be work with a therapist. There has to be a reset to the relationship, and agreement to a clean slate moving forward. There also needs to be a mutual agreement to invest; the needed time and money to fix the relationship. Find professionals who specialize in the area, and someone who is best fit, vs always worrying about the cost. Also rethink having insurance cover this topic. What information will be shared? Ask yourself what’s your relationship worth? 
7. How do we spice up our sex life?
Lots of ideas! Games, role playing. Date nights. Having small groups of friends over and playing games. Attending fun workshops. Attending couples retreats. Get a membership to a swingers club just to occasionally be in an adult atmosphere. Learn how to use different toys, lubes, etc. Read to each other (couples improvement books or erotica). Take a sex coaching program and do the assignments together. Hire a sex coach to help you host a party and let them teach a class. 
8. How can I regain control of my erections?
Lots of things might be happening here. Is this about delayed ejaculation? Or inability to maintain an erection? Or ejaculating before you want to? Or having performance anxiety? Whatever it is, it can be addressed in therapy or coaching. Work with someone who specializes in the area. 
9. I want to see my partner have sex with somebody else...is that normal?
Yep. It’s one type of relationship style. This one can either be called cuckolding, or hot-wifing, etc. depending on the circumstances. This definitely takes communication and education about consensual non-monogamy.
10. I like watching porn, but my partner doesn’t like it when I do.
There’s nothing wrong with watching porn as long as it’s legal, as long as it’s not preventing the person from functioning in other areas of life, and as long as it’s not replacing sex with the partner. Men tend to be more visual than women. Watching porn has nothing to do with their desire to be with someone else. Sometimes it’s just their me-time. 
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kamoteqt · 6 months
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Infidelity between a man and a woman.
Is there a difference when a man cheats vs when a woman cheats? What is the reason behind it? What is more hurtful? Is there a bias between these two?
Infidelity in relationships means breaking the trust between partners by getting romantically or intimately involved with someone else. It's a breach of commitment that can cause emotional harm and challenges within the relationship. Understanding what infidelity involves is important for dealing with its consequences and trying to rebuild trust.
Guys might cheat more 'cause they're after more action or attention. They're not great with the lovey-dovey words, so physical stuff becomes a big way for them to feel close.
If guys aren't getting enough action, it hits them hard. Rejection makes them feel unloved, and that insecurity can push them to cheat more than women.
Now, when ladies cheat, it's often about an emotional gap. They talk about feeling disconnected, wanting to be wanted and valued. They might feel ignored and unappreciated, leading them to seek emotional intimacy elsewhere.
For women, an affair can be like a stepping stone out of a bad relationship. It helps them end things. They're seriously thinking of leaving, and this other person helps them do just that.
Of course, both guys and gals can cheat when they're not getting what they want in bed or when the marriage gets boring. It's not just about sex – sometimes, it's about spicing things up.
Furthermore, gender is not really the issue most of the time, cuz human beings have individual issues that triggers them to be unfaithful to their partner¬¬
Some stuff that might make a person more likely to cheat includes:
1. **Addiction:**
- If someone's hooked on stuff like alcohol, drugs, or gambling, it can up the risk. Booze, especially, can lower inhibitions, making a person do things they wouldn't when sober.
2. **Attachment Style:**
- The way someone connects with others matters. If they're not good at getting close or feel insecure in relationships, they might be more tempted to cheat. Low self-esteem adds to this, making an affair seem like a way to prove they're worth something.
3. **Childhood Trauma:**
- If someone went through rough stuff in their early years, like abuse or neglect, it can mess with them. Without dealing with it, they might end up cheating more.
4. **Exposure to Cheating in Childhood:**
- Seeing a parent cheat can rub off on kids. A study found that kids who saw their parents cheat were twice as likely to do it themselves.
5. **Mental Illness:**
- Some mental health issues, like bipolar disorder, can make someone more likely to cheat in a relationship.
6. **Previous Cheating:**
- "Once a cheater, always a cheater" has some truth. A study showed folks who cheated before are three times more likely to do it again.
7. **Psychological Issues:**
- Being a bit narcissistic or having personality disorders makes cheating more probable. Ego and a lack of empathy can drive someone to have an affair without fully understanding how it hurts their partner.
8. **Sex Addiction:**
- If one person in a relationship is hooked on sex, they might not be satisfied at home and look for action elsewhere.
In conclusion, infidelity in relationships is a complex issue influenced by various factors, including individual differences and personal struggles. While stereotypes suggest differences in reasons for cheating between men and women, it's crucial to recognize that both genders can be driven by a range of motivations, from seeking physical connection to filling emotional gaps. The hurtfulness of infidelity is not inherently tied to gender but is rooted in the breach of trust and emotional consequences experienced by the betrayed partner. Additionally, individual factors like addiction, attachment styles, childhood trauma, exposure to infidelity, mental health, previous cheating, psychological issues, and sex addiction play a significant role, emphasizing the uniqueness of each situation. Understanding these complexities is essential for addressing the aftermath and working towards rebuilding trust within a relationship.
#bloggerist
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problogsposts · 7 months
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Why Marriage Counseling is important?
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Marriage is like a wonderful adventure where two people come together, and share love, friendship, and dreams. However, even the strongest of relationships can face challenges, and that's when marriage counseling can make a significant difference. In this blog, we'll delve into the difficulties of why and when you need marriage counseling. We'll also explore the key roles played by psychology, mental health, and a variety of counseling professionals in this context.
Understanding the Need for Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling is a form of therapy designed to help couples navigate the complexities of their relationship. It is essential when couples find themselves struggling with various issues that threaten the stability of their marriage.
Signs that Indicate the Requirement for Marriage Counseling
One of the earliest signs that marriage counseling might be necessary is the emergence of frequent conflicts and arguments. When communication breaks down, disagreements increase, and a cycle of negativity takes hold, it's time to seek help.
Not talking openly and honestly can cause problems and make you feel far apart emotionally. Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and when it's lacking, a counselor's guidance can be invaluable.
Couples sometimes drift apart emotionally. They may feel disconnected or unfulfilled, and the gap between them grows. Marriage counseling can help bridge this emotional divide.
Infidelity can severely strain a marriage. The process of rebuilding trust and healing emotional wounds is challenging but possible with the assistance of a skilled counselor.
The Role of Psychology in Marriage Counseling
Psychology plays a significant role in understanding and addressing the dynamics of marriage. Psychologists delve into the complexities of human behavior, emotions, and thought processes to help couples navigate their issues effectively.
Importance of Mental Health in Relationships
Mental health is closely linked to the quality of a relationship. When one or both partners face mental health challenges, it can affect their interactions and overall happiness. Marriage counseling can address these challenges and offer coping strategies.
The Counselor's Expertise
Marriage counselors are professionals trained in psychology, counseling, and therapy. They possess the expertise to guide couples through their challenges, providing a safe and supportive environment for communication.
Types of Therapies Used in Marriage Counseling
Hypnotherapy can be a powerful tool in addressing deep-seated issues. It involves a state of focused attention, which allows couples to explore their emotions and experiences uniquely.
Psychotherapy involves open conversations and discussions to uncover underlying issues, provide coping strategies, and improve the overall relationship.
Childhood trauma can affect how individuals relate to their partners. Marriage counselors help couples navigate the impact of these past experiences on their marriage.
When one or both partners face mental disorders, professional guidance is essential. Counselors can help manage these disorders while improving the overall relationship.
The Role of a Psychiatrist
In certain cases, mental health concerns may require medical attention. A psychiatrist can diagnose and treat mental disorders, working in tandem with marriage counselors to ensure holistic care.
Counseling Sessions
Counseling sessions are the heart of marriage counseling. These sessions provide a safe space for couples to address their concerns, communicate openly, and work toward solutions.
Accessing a therapist or counselor near you is essential. The convenience of location ensures that you can attend sessions regularly without any obstacles.
The Difference a Hypnotherapist Can Make
Hypnotherapists use guided relaxation and intense concentration to help individuals explore their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This unique approach can be a game-changer in marriage counseling.
Why Choose a Psychologist for Depression and Anxiety
Psychologists for depression and anxiety have the knowledge and skills to address these specific issues. They can provide targeted therapy to improve mental health within the context of a relationship.
Benefits of Counseling Psychologists
Counseling psychologists are trained to help individuals and couples cope with various life challenges, improving their overall well-being.
In Conclusion
Marriage counseling is a valuable resource when couples face challenges that affect their relationship. It brings together the expertise of psychology, mental health, and a variety of counseling professionals to provide guidance and support. Seeking help when needed can lead to healthier, happier, and more fulfilling relationships.
FAQs
1. How can I know if I need marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling may be necessary if you are experiencing frequent conflicts, a lack of communication, emotional distance, or infidelity in your relationship.
2. What role does a psychologist play in marriage counseling?
Psychologists play a crucial role in understanding and addressing the psychological aspects of a relationship, helping couples navigate their challenges.
3. Are counseling psychologists and psychotherapists the same?
While both provide counseling, they have different approaches. Counseling psychologists focus on improving overall well-being, while psychotherapists delve into underlying emotional issues.
4. How do I find a professional near me for marriage counseling?
You can search online directories, ask for referrals from friends or family, or consult your healthcare provider for recommendations.
5. Can marriage counseling save a relationship?
Marriage counseling can be highly effective in resolving issues and improving relationships when both partners are committed to the process and open to change.
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solutionlab · 7 months
Video
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PTSD Treatment - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Therapy - Symptoms of PTSD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAIj-u1xsN0
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a-shared-experience · 8 months
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While swords represent the mind, the intellect, our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs, they can also be our anger, guilt , and harsh judgements. This may be a very difficult time where you feel deeply misunderstood. You reflect on your subconscious actions and feel great remorse. You are silenced and yet have this desire to scream out loud that who you were is not who you are. You are hurting.
3 of swords: Saturn in Libra. Air element. October 3-12.
Heartbreak. Betrayal. Loneliness. Absence. Division. Depression. Separation. Sadness. Grief. Unhappiness. Upheaval. Upset. Disorder. Loss. Alienation. Ill health. Trauma. Break up. Divorce. Third party. Cheating. Infidelity. Loss of assets. Stress. Fear of getting hurt. Jealousy. Insecurity. Stuck.
As a person the 3 of swords has a love for music. The beauty of who they are is tainted by early traumas and past abandonment. They are easily hurt and offended which causes them to guard their heart fiercely and never truly let anyone love them or receive the wholeness of the love they have to give. They are too afraid that if someone sees them they will look down on them , in reality they think this of themselves. They have much healing to do and much past baggage they need to release. They usually attract partners who want to fix and counsel them and they in turn seek partners who will make them feel whole. When this doesn’t happen it triggers them in ways they’d rather not face , so they never settle down and they never feel settled. They are terrified of being rejected, terrified of being loved because to be loved and left is something that still cuts them and makes them bleed.
Their fear holds them in a cycle they entered into in childhood. They choose the wrong partners and keep reliving old pain as if to prove that they were always worth leaving. What they must find, is forgiveness for ever believing they weren’t good enough, for everything they denied themselves throughout their lives, forgiveness for the people who caused the wound and a commitment to self to love themselves , every piece of them.
I was one of these children, I guess I still am. Traumatized children grow up to think they aren’t good enough almost in every aspect of life. They have a chip on their shoulder and something to prove except no one asked them to…
They have this belief that everyone can potentially hurt them and so they lock their true feelings away and pour poison over them hoping they will dissolve. How awful for someone so small and innocent to be taught anything less than love. How silly that we allow these teachings to define us and to hinder us when logically we understand that we were taught pain.
It’s not that our teachers intended this/ they were doing the same thing as us. Running, hiding, guarding, raging, losing control, controlling everything .. those kinds of things …
They showed us the way and we looked up to them and so desperately wanted them to value us, their blocked hearts full of pain turned their back on us and we felt nothing except complete rejection. We were too small to feel things so big. So it makes sense that we act in similar ways as our role models, everyone we love is meant to teach us valuable lessons. I think as we find kinder, more gentle teachers we begin to learn how to be happy and how to forgive which leads us out of darkness and shines a giant light on actual love. Love isn’t pain. Trauma is pain. We can love very deeply and still unconsciously or subconsciously lead with trauma responses , the lines get blurred. We mustn’t mistake the two for love is always pure and trauma has potential to be healed. I’m no stranger to pain, I hold a great deal of it in my heart , it used to be a suffocating place full of anger, shame, regret and remorse. I had to do some housecleaning. There’s still a part of my heart that says, “ I wish , I wish, I wish”
A million wishes for how I wish I only knew love , that I knew how to care about me, that I believed in me, that I could share the rawest version of me without worrying it was poison.
It’s a radical act to decide to believe in nothing you’ve been taught by the people you loved and to admit that you’re a beginner. Relearn the path to your heart. Open yourself up to love. The past is unchangeable, everything from here on out is a choice.
Knight of wands - Jupiter in Sagittarius
Delays. Scattered energy. Frustration. Fear of commitment. Self absorbed. Volatile. Immature. Manipulation. Abusive. Criminality. Addictions. Gambling. Reckless. Narcissistic tendencies. Entitlement. Fragile ego. Superficial. Objectifying others. Body shaming. Vanity. Attention seeking. Disloyalty. Arrogance. Impulsivity. Heartbreakers. One night stands. Player. Mind games. Surface level relationships based on appearances.jealousy. Boredom. Living beyond your means. Show off. Hectic lifestyles. Seeks validation and admiration. Using people for money. Sex as a sport. Insensitive. Runs away. Womanizer. Bad reputation. Dramatic. Hyperactive.manic. Cocky. Presumptive. Lack of ambition/ drive/ sense of self.
We all are subject to the unconscious and subconscious , it’s really what we do when we become aware of ourselves that truly matters.
Who we have been is merely a version of the self, who we are is who we choose to be, what we will become depends on our actions.
I went through a very very dark night of the soul for about two years. I kept begging for it to end. It felt like fucking torture. All the things I had lost, all the people I had destroyed, the things I turned my back on, the opportunities that passed me by… the behaviours, the things I said, the shame of my actions..
I had no choice but to sit and be incredibly uncomfortable with who I was and I also had no choice but to change. I think it’s why I wake up and give thanks for all that I have to the sun… because for a long time there simply felt like there wasn’t one. Everything was pitch black and I watched my life like a movie. I’d been hoarding so much inside that I was full of bullshit. I was fake, afraid and disgusted with everything.
You’ve gotta find your real you and create a life from that authentic heart space. Realize nothing worked out because you deserved more and wanted more - there’s a voice of truth within us that can never be silenced even if we turn the volume allllll the way down and pretend it’s not playing on loop like a broken record.
Eventually it plays on pk subs and you have to find a way to soothe it or it will kill you.
Self compassion, grace, self love, self expression, letters we’ll never send, spiritual exploration, faith of some kind, plant medicine, music, art, friends, love, truths, acts of service, talking, therapy, nature, meditation, long baths, even longer walks, healthy food, baseline sobriety- free of active addiction, self respect, honesty, inner power, kindness, connection, passion, purpose, gratitude.. these are just suggestions from my soul to yours. I’m glueing mine back together and bedazzling it. I dare to live in the calm vs the chaos. The storm always pulls on me but the sun feels so much warmer.
Everything is a choice.
We are all fragile.
Handle with care
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bad0mens · 9 months
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Trope Rating game
Tagged by @suspiciouspopsicle!! LET'S GO
rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded  0 - don’t care either way  +10 -> very enticed  nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.  Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.
Age gap: 0
A lot of this depends on how it's handled and the length of the age gap. I hate the 1000+ year old elf/etc looks like a 12 year old, but as long as everyone of age and there's consent and not a gross power imbalance.
Codependency: -3
Like, I like characters feelings like they need each other, but ultimately standing on their own. In this same vein, I prefer 'chooses to be save themselves because of love' vs 'saved by love' end of this sort of trope.
Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: 0
Another that kind of depends on how it's handled. I dislike an overbearing possessiveness, but when it's played a bit for comedic effect and ultimately harmless, it's fine.
Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): 8
LOVE OPPOSITES attract. IT'S GOOD.
Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: 4
Enemies to lovers, YEs. Enemies with benefits? Handled more as a rivalry and I'm game.
Friends with benefits: 5
I'm usually a single pairing style, but if it leads to more romantic feelings, I'm absolutely game. I use it sometimes as a background thing, but I like an emotional endgame.
Sex to feelings: 9
Like above, I LOVE AN emotional endgame that starts with casual sex. Especially if those feelings start quickly and cause all sorts of mutual pining.
Fake dating/relationship: 5
For comedic purposes, yes! I've read one fic that played it serious that was really good though, so it can definitely be handled with a deeper tone.
Friends to lovers: 50
YES YES YES YES (especially childhood friends to lovers, I EAT THAT SHIT UP)
Found Family: 10
Love a found family! While I usually write with mostly romance in mind, the queer in me desperately loves a big cast of weirdos all finding solace and home in each other.
Hurt/Comfort: 10
SUFFER FOR THE HAPPY ENDING. I will drag a character through hell, through things that should kill them, that should make them lose hope, only to watch them emerge triumphant, if damaged, on the other side. Also the potential for processing trauma not touched on by in canon events is SO FUN, especially with comfort aspects to follow to start the healing process.
Love Triangle: -5
Ehhh. I'm sure there's plenty that is well written out there, but I'm usually avoid this one.
Poly, open relationships: 0
There's a few poly relationships I'm into (Juriestelle....) but they are few and far between and never include my OTPs.
Mistaken/hidden identity: 3
I've had some fun with this, but it's not really something I gravitate too often.
Monsterfucking: 9
Yes. Werewolf, cryptid, eldritch horror, I'm down.
Pregnancy: -100
No NO nO NOO. Do not like. I am fine with characters having kids, but I do not want to read or write anything about the pregnancy stages of that. I much prefer the adoption route (see found family trope...)
Second Chance: 0
Not over something like infidelity. Drifting apart and trying again and things like that are okay if well done.
Slowburn: 7
I love writing slowburn. As a reader, I feel so impatient! But there's so much of it that's done so well.
Soulmates: 5
I'm good with some of the soulmate stuff. Like, I've used it, but in a generally less tropy way and more of a symbolic thing. But I've seen some very interesting concepts.
Tagging anyone who wants to do it! (I don't mind being tagged in these things AT ALL, they're so much fun, but I don't want to be annoying and tag other people lol...)
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WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION FOR CHRISTIANS?
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The Bible doesn’t directly address sex addiction for Christians. It doesn’t specifically say anything about the addiction by name. But the Bible says God wants people to be happy and fulfilled in their relationships with others (1 Peter 1:7). It also says people should live in a way that doesn’t bring harm to themselves or others (Romans 14:19). Both passages suggest that sex addiction is wrong for Christians and something they should seek to heal and recover from. 
How Sex Addiction Starts
Sex addiction is the compulsive need to have sex or sexual pleasure at any cost, at any time, regardless of consequences. It includes behaviors like infidelity and engaging in high-risk sexual behaviors. People often recognize they have a sex addiction when they attempt to stop these behaviors but can’t.
“Sex addiction comes from a need to regulate an unregulated nervous system, which probably results from a traumatic experience when they were young,” said Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery.
Sex addiction can start with unresolved trauma, including sexual trauma or childhood sexual abuse. The person affected by this trauma may use sex to deal with the pain from their past.
If a person does not receive treatment for their trauma, they may develop an intimacy disorder or other mental health issues. These issues can make it difficult for them to form healthy relationships with others.
Boulder Recovery attempts to help men understand the root cause of their sex addiction so they can begin to heal.
“We help people understand why they act the way they act — where that behavior originates. It helps them get in touch with the wounds and the trauma that precipitated the addiction. We identify and treat core traumatic wounds that are most closely tied to their behaviors,” Matt said
Overcoming Sex Addiction for Christians
It can be difficult to admit that you might have a problem with sex. It may be even more challenging if you’re a Christian because of misconceptions surrounding addiction. For example, Christians may pray for their addictions to just end when they need help from a mental health professional to heal.
Sex addiction is a real disorder, and it’s not something to be overcome by just saying “no” or praying harder. Even though sex addiction affects Christians and people of other faiths and beliefs, there is hope for recovery if you’re committed to getting better.
“The outcomes depend on what you want when you come in,” Matt said of treatment. “You’re going to get out of it exactly what you want at your core to get out of it. If you want to go deep and discover new places in yourself, who you are, and your future… that’s what you’ll get out of it.” 
Treatment for sex addiction for Christians helps men restore their faith, uncover the root cause of their addiction, heal from that trauma, and change their behaviors.
“We identify the root traumas and teach tools and skills that you can couple with that to make better decisions instead of just looking at symptoms,” Matt stated. “You have a neurological problem; you don’t have a character flaw. Your brain is sick. This helps us get closer to the why.”
Steps on Your Path to Recovery
Recovering from sex addiction is challenging. It requires help, support, and hard work. It also requires you to admit you have a problem and commit to changing.
Steps to addiction recovery include:
Seeking Treatment. Sex addiction is a symptom of a deeper issue and is unlikely to go away on it’s own. It’s important to address the underlying cause with help from a mental health professional. 
Finding a Support System. One of the most important things you can do as you overcome sex addiction is to find a support system. This support can be friends or family members, your church community, or a support group. Having people to talk to about your addiction will help you keep track of your progress and ensure you’re not giving in to temptation.
Setting Goals to Maintain Sobriety. Set realistic goals. Select your priorities and aim to dedicate more time to them. Use your support system to hold you accountable.
Establishing Clear Boundaries. Decide what your boundaries will be and how you will enforce them. Review your values and goals as a Christian, and list things that are off-limits or essential for your recovery.
Is Sex Addiction a Reason for Christians to Divorce?
Whether sex addiction results in divorce is an issue for the couple to decide together. Some marriages challenged by addiction end in divorce. Others don’t.
For a partner, sex addiction can lead to betrayal trauma. This trauma is when a person significantly violates another’s trust or well-being. As the person heals from sex addiction, their partner has to be willing to focus on healing from betrayal.
Healing from betrayal trauma requires:
Acknowledging the Betrayal. Both partners must recognize that the issue exists and how it’s affecting them individually and within their relationship.
Prioritizing Yourself. While each partner is healing, they must prioritize their recovery. Neither partner can give fully to the other without healing first.
Practicing Forgiveness. A marriage can’t heal after a sex addiction without forgiveness. A partner has to be able to forgive their spouse for the marriage to have a future.
Women should put their healing first before reconciling or fixing their marriages, Matt said. 
“They have to give themselves time to heal from the shock of their partner’s infidelity,” Matt said. “We want to see marriages healed, but this can happen only when the addict takes concrete steps toward sobriety and betrayed partners begin their journey of healing.” 
Seeking Help at Boulder Recovery
Sex addiction can shatter lives and relationships. It challenges Christians’ faith in God and belief in themselves as good, faithful people. 
Boulder Recovery’s mission is simple: to help people recover from their addictions and live healthier lives. Our therapists know how important it is for each person to find their path toward recovery. 
Contact us to learn more and start restoring your faith, life, and relationships.
Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/what-is-sex-addiction-for-christians/
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